Sex With Emily - Sex Fantasies Turned Sex Realities

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: communication is a lubrication. But today I’ve got the receipts: previous callers who took my communication advice called back, to give us a status report!On today’s best of show, I’m letting you listen in on my callers’ sex lives after they took the brave but vulnerable step of talking to their partners. We’ve got a longtime married couple, with a husband who wants more kink in bed; a success story of treating vaginal pain; a newlywed who brought BACK the spark with his man after incorporating role play, and a mom who never had any sex guidance growing up…and is now doing things radically different with her teen daughter. All of them are living proof that better sex starts with communication, so listen now, get inspired, and let their sex-cess motivate you to have a sex talk of your own.Show Notes:Emily’s Shop PageThe Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My husband, he always is ready to do anything that I want pretty much. He's down for anything really. So, good learn. And it's been great. But with three kids and running around and everything, our sex life kind of took, went on the back burner, but since I've been listening to your show, it's been great. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. If I said it once, I've said it a million times.

Communication is a lubrication. But today I've got the receipts. Previous collars who took my communication by advice called back to give us a status report. On today's best of show, I'm letting you listen in on my color sex lives after they took the brave but vulnerable step of talking to their partners. We've got a long-time married couple with a husband who wants more kink in bed, a success story of treating vaginal pain, a newlywed who bought back the spark with his man after incorporating roleplay, and a mom who never had this spark with his man after incorporating roleplay and

a mom who never had any sex guidance growing up and is now doing things radically different with her teen daughter. All of them are living proof that better sex starts with communication, so listen now, get inspired and let their success motivate you to have a sex talk of your own. Intentions with Emily for each episode, I want to start off by setting an intention for the show and I encourage you to do the same. What I mean by this, so when you're listening, what do you want to get out of the episode? How can it help you? My intention is to show you that your sex life is not a fixed date. You can always make change happen

and have the sex you want and deserve, especially if you have a growth mindset around sex. Please rate and review sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show, my new article, Ask Emily, Kink and BDSM ideas is up at sex with Emily.com and check out my YouTube channel for more sex tips and advice. If you want to ask me questions, leave me your questions or message me at sexwithemily.com slash Ask Emily or just call my hotline 559 Talk Sex or.598255739. Always include your name, your age, where you live and how you listen to the show. Oh, you can totally change your name

or choose to remain anonymous. All right, everyone, enjoy this episode. Let's talk to Jeff 70 in Nevada says he's a success story. Hey Jeff, it's so good to hear from you again. Tell me what's going on. Hi Dr. Emily, thank you for taking my call. Of course. Let's recap. I talked to you last week. I don't know if you remember. I do, of course, but let's recap for the listeners. Tell me what's going on.

I remember we took. I'm a 70-year-old virgin. I was damaged as a POW in the Vietnam War. And I was a virgin when I went in, and I'm still a virgin because I had some damage done that can't be reversed. You suggested to me that I, you know, the women, I can't get women to stay with me because they, you know, get freaked out. But you, you had me, you advised me to, you know, try some dating, some dating sites on the internet.

Well, I went kind of a different direction and I went, I went to a singles club, a singles club. Nice. Okay. It all works. It's all good. And I remember here to talk to Emily, things really took a weird turn. I caught with a group of women that now this is going to really sound kind of weird, but this one lady that I hooked up with, she understood everything that I was going through.

And she liked to take and masturbate for me in front of me for me. Okay. And as it turned out, she had some friends, girlfriends, that actually I guess you have a little club or something, not at all, but yeah, I've been pretty busy. Oh my gosh, Jeff, you're amazing. You are rocking my world. Because when we talk to you, they bring a way. What's really weird, Dr. Emily, is, I've, you know, even though I can't,

I cannot perform at all whatsoever, not, you know, absolutely can't perform at all. I get when this happens, when these women do this thing for me. Yeah. I get these really weird muscle tensions. Yeah, muscle spasms kind of, yeah, huh? I get these really weird muscle tensions. Yeah, muscle spasms, kind of, yeah. Uh-huh.

Well, not a spasms, but just everything seems like tighten up. Mm-hmm. Wow, does it feel good at all? We're feeling, but. Right. And this one, this one lady, she like brings up fricking suitcase polo toys, whether what she got.

Wow. Wow, so you're watching the, I mean, Jeff, wait, okay, whether what she comes. Wow. Wow. So you're watching the, I mean, Jeff, wait, okay, so let me back up because you were like, first off, you sound like a different man. You sound like, you sound like a young man. And you have this lift in your voice. And you were just like a different person.

And because you said, I just want to please a woman, I've never even done that. And I said, you know, there's a lot of women, they just want to be pleased. It's not all about a working penis. And you can still have pleasure and give pleasure. And now you're like, you've been busy with all these women. I'm just, you are my hero sex too. Okay. You know, but I get more fun out of watching them.

Wow. Watching them masturbate. Yeah, watching them together. Kind of a whole different world for a man. It's really exciting. Wow, Jeff. I am seeing never done. Thank you.

I wanted to thank you for turning me into that kind of direction. You know as far as putting myself out there where I you know I was too afraid to do that before. And now you're giving me some you have given me some you know know, some terms of life, I guess you would say. Thank you. Oh, Jeff. Thank you. I mean, that's a thing. I just gave you some suggestions, but you were brave and you took the step. Let's talk to Martha 41 in California. Hi, Martha. Thanks for calling. Hi. Good evening. Good evening. I just want to say how amazing I've been listening to your talk show for a month now. And my daughter who is in high school, she is a little bit younger. I've only had sex with one person my whole life and that's my husband.

So we learned things together, but just from listening to your show, I've learned so much and have been experimenting with you things and it's been amazing. So even the stuff that you guys were talking about today about finding the G spot, now I'm very curious to try to find my own. Martha, we're going to do this weekend. Yeah.

I also wanted to tell you, so my daughter's in the study relationship and I've been buying all the loose and stuff, what I want for her that I didn't have was, you know, in my family, it was always like, don't have sex, till you're married, which I did have premarital sex with my husband,

but it was always very kind of negative and they weren't very open. So what I try to do with my daughter and your show has helped me with that is try to be proactive in letting her know that it's okay to masturbate and to find what helps her feel good. So I bought her her own vibrator and I mean he not first she was like mom you know that's kind of weird out but I've always wanted to have this open relationship with her. So now that she's with her boyfriend and everything, I bought the muse, I bought the pure and all that, and I've bought my own set of that stuff. So my husband and I can use it, and it's been fantastic.

So, I'm so glad, Martha, I love this. So you've been using them to use Lou with your husband and other things, but then also your daughter. She's like, because at first our kids write Martha, they go, oh, ooh, ooh, but then you're like, no, it's not weird at all. Like, I want you to have pleasure. I didn't know this when I was your age. And then she took it, right? And she's using it as a partner.

Yeah, super healthy Martha. And it's great because even with her partner, you know, I always tell him, you know, if you guys need anything or have any questions, I want you to come to me. I don't want you, you know, to ask your friends who might not be, you know, the stuff. And if I don't know the answer, you know,

we can call Emily or, you know, we can ask someone who would know and I just want to have have her have that healthy relationship and I just wanted to thank you for that that's really why I called. Oh Martha thank you this is really this feels really good thank you for calling I'm so happy to hear this Martha that's exactly what I want I want you know you know there was so brave of you too to do that because I know it's not easy, right? Your parents didn't do it. And yeah, so good for you. I think that's just really healthy.

And I love it. Now your daughter can be like that with her kids and maybe some women listening now, parents listening now will kind of feel empowered to talk to their children as well. It's okay if they're in high school. You should, that's, I think that's when you start talking about even before that.

They ask questions. So. And I always have, you know, it's just one of the things I think they need to know how to be healthy and take care of themselves. So that, you know, if I feel like if I talk to them, I think it's better to have spec education and know what you're doing than to be hush about it. And then that's when you get, you know, the unwanted pregnancy and all that stuff because, you know, they don't come to you. So I always felt that that was important. That is, yeah, it is important. And so how did the conversation change now? Like, what would you tell other other parents who might be, you know, or listening and they might want to start it?

Like, what did you, did you go up to her? Did you, you just had her the toy? Well, I've always, you know, started with like, since she was probably around 910, because I got my period when I was 10. So I always talked to her about, you know, gave her books. First, it was like the American Girl one, which is, you know, very safe, you know, for little kids.

And I say, if you have any questions, talk to me. And then, she's always come to me, because I've always been open with her when she has a question. But when the whole thing with the serious relationship that she's been in for about a year now, I knew that was coming up because they started kissing and then making that.

And I let them, I tell her, I trust you to know what you, to make the right decision. I'm not gonna tell you you can't have sex, I'm not gonna, because what happened was I went behind, you know, my parents back and went and had it. Right. Had sex. Because they weren't saying you can't do it.

And so what did I do? I still went. So I talked to my husband and I told me, you know what? I want you to know that I'm gonna let her, let her boyfriend go to her room. And I want them to have a safe place with me in our home instead of them sneaking around. You know, because regardless of what us as parents do, they're gonna do what they want.

They are, you're right. And you just wanna know it's okay. Yeah, and also, if she's gonna have sex, she might as well also have pleasure, right? Because I don't know if you had pleasure when you were in your 20s and when you start having sex, did you have pleasure and orgasms? No, not in the very beginning, you know, my husband, he always is ready to do anything that I want pretty much. He's down for anything really. So did learn, but just, and it's been great. But just, you know, with, with three kids

and running around and everything, our sex life kind of took, went on the back burner, but since I've been listening to your show, it's been great. So, I'm so glad, Martha. I'm here for you. I love it. I'm so happy to talk to you. You're doing great work. I hope you have good sex this weekend. Of course, I'm here for you,

Martha. I appreciate it. It feels great. Thank you, Martha. Let's hear a quick word for sponsors after the break. I'll be answering your questions. Let's talk to Greg 55 in Ohio. Hi Dr. Emily. I just wanted to call back. We spoke the other day and I was talking about trying to introduce my partner into interest in the BDSM which I enjoy. I don't know if you remember or not I do Well tell me yeah, you were some you want to be submissive right? I'm a submissive yeah and

You gave me some really good advice and did go to your website and and My partner and I we did sit down and we went through and she said a little more to the conservative side, at least I kind of thought. I found out a bunch of things about her, but I didn't know. This is amazing, Grant. Okay, keep on. Yeah, so I just wanted to call back and kind of let you know how things were progressing from that aspect. The advice you gave me was outstanding. And we're talking on a different level now. It helped bring her out of her shell and open up that conversation.

And it was incredibly valuable to both of us. So happy to hear that. So can we just rewind for a first off? I'm so glad you called to tell me how it landed. Because I don't know, we hang up. Might not hear from you again. I hope Greg got his way. So could you walk me through, if you feel comfortable, how because you've been together a while right? How long have you

been with your wife? About four years. Yeah, about four years. Yeah you directed me to your website and the ones that you have of things you like and things you don't like and you know you're yes and those are maybe that type of thing and so I did that and presented that tour and we sat down and we had a couple classes of wine and talked through everything. And then we went off in our own separate ways to kind of go through this. And we got back together and had a really good conversation and shared our discussions around this. And it's on a level that her and I have never really experienced before in the communication side talking about sex It's been kind of uplifting for both of us and it's opening up open up my eyes It's kind of open her eyes, and I'm excited to see where this is gonna go

But you you want to me to call back and kind of let you know how things were progressing and where it was going Oh Greg, I'm so happy you just really, I'm so happy that you can like turn around as he's possible. You know, you had these assumptions that she was a little more conservative and you found out that she's got some stuff she's into, you know, we don't know until we talk about it. I'm that such a, I'm so happy. Greg, thank you for coming back in and please keep me posted, you know, this is just the beginning of your sex life of what's possible. What's the next step? What's going to happen this weekend?

Well this weekend, we're actually going away for a night. Tomorrow night, we're going to go away and spend the night and become a little more intimate and talk more and figure out how we want to approach this going forward. You know, she has some things that she kind of wants to try. Do you mind sharing with me one thing that you learned that she wants to try that you were surprised? You know, we talked about fantasies and things like that. And her one fantasy is she wants to bring somebody into the bedroom with us.

And you know, it's like, okay, but I didn't realize that that was a really deep desire of hers. So I'm willing. And you know, we've got to figure out and talk about how and where and who and the ground rules and that type of thing. But I explained to her that I would be more than willing to help her fulfill that fantasy. The other one is she wants to explore a bisexual relationship, which is something that I would have never guessed. So that one we've got some more talking to do. I personally don't mind.

It's just kind of caught me off guard. Right. And so we're going to talk through that and we're going to spend the weekend talking. You know, my aspect is, is I enjoy BDSM elements and try to us being together. I had a dominate tricks that I was with and that's how I was entered into the lifestyle and So she's open to reaching out to watching a session To understand Craig I Can you imagine look how far you've come this week. This is amazing to me Wow, but it was your advice that kind of broke that ice and that that's why I wanted to tell you that I'm really excited where it's heading. Really excited. Like I said, it opened both of our eyes to what we were

keeping to ourselves. Yeah. You hadn't just hadn't thought to bring it up, right? It's really hard to bring it up. If you approach it in a way that's, hey, let's just talk about it for us. It's a game changer. And so many couples.

It's just a wonderful example, Greg. I'm so happy for you. Because it does work. It's a game changer. talk about it for us. It's a game changer and so many couples, it's just a wonderful example, Greg, I'm so happy for you. Because it does work to have a healthy conversation about sex, yes, it's scary, right? You were nervous to bring it up

and you didn't know how she would react and you had some assumptions because you had never talked about it that maybe she would be into certain things and now you could go away for the weekend and keep kind of brainstorming and fantasizing and playing to get thinking about what's possible. And it's so exciting.

It's like going on a sexual magic carpet ride together. So many places to go. I'm very excited about it. Like I said, we've had to talk, but we never really talked. And really we're open, you know, it's general conversation. And like I said, we got into the icebreaker and then we started talking. And then we went off and we had the list and the sheets. And it really allowed us to open up and think.

And we Greg, this just gives me so much joy. Now, I mean, no pressure, but I'm following you on your journey. You just want to email me. I'm so thrilled that you called in to let me know that the advice worked to have a healthy conversation with your partner. No, and I thank you for that. Of course, I got you.

I'm here for you, Greg. I'm so, my whole team here, we're saying it's so overjoyed. Really, you deserve this. And so does she. Why not meet each other? She needs, why not make sex an incredible experience for both of you? You're married, you've got a whole life together.

Thanks, Greg, I appreciate you. Thanks for calling in. I am dying to talk to Andrew, 32 in Tennessee. I love that he's calling back with an update. Andrew was in a situation where he was swinging with two other couples and had some concerns about his penis size and it was just kind of a rough time last week when we were talking. Andrew, I'd love to hear the update and thanks for calling.

Hi, Emily. Hi. Yeah. How's it going? Things are going great. Tell me everything. After I called in, they heard me on the radio and we talked some things out. The other two guys heard you on the radio, right?

You said the other two men or everyone heard you. Okay, you didn't think they were listening, right? I mean, did you know? No, no, I didn't. They just happened to be listening. Okay, so they heard you on the radio. They heard me on the radio. They heard me on the radio. They wanted to talk to me.

Things are okay. They don't want me to feel awkward or out of place or everything. And they wanted their wives to talk to me. And they're fine. There's nothing wrong with it. And they let me know that they orgasm with me just as much as they do with their husbands. And that helped a little bit. But they invited us back.

We've actually spent the night with them three times since that last call. Oh, wow. And I'm rushing home right now to get a shower because we've got, we're eating dinner with them tonight. Wow, you've been busy, Andrew. Well, we just talked like a week ago or something. So, you're feeling better now. You're in a better state.

And you understand that the... Yeah, you've had the what? I'm having the best sex of my life right now. I feel way better, more confident. The quality of sex is better. The quality of my erections are better. And this because your weight has been lifted up. Yes, right?

Because these things weigh on us when we have these, bring these insecurities into the bedroom and you're worried that you're not pleasing. And even though they were telling you that before, I'm so glad that you feel a release from the situation because you deserve that. And I'm really glad to hear it, Andrew. That's such a great example of how we get so lost in our heads during sex ends. We can be very hard to focus on pleasure, but even just actually having these conversations, these difficult conversations that we always talk about in the show, they will free you.

They'll free you, your mind, and your erection. Apparently, Andrew, I'm so glad to hear this. You deserve this. You deserve a lot of pleasure. They were initially worried that they would like to frighten my wife, and they were more timid around her, but it was, I guess it was actually me that I ended up causing more of an issue with all six of us.

But that's fun now. Okay. Well, it sounds like you cleared the air because they listened. That's so interesting that they listened to the show that they were just randomly, because maybe this wouldn't have happened, but I guess that's what needs to happen in our work time. They'd be out and about the exact moment I called in. And did you know they listened?

Because I know you tried to call back in that night and then we missed you and then we keep seeing you, but we got to talk to Andrew. Cause I'm in this with you. I love to hear that by you and even just calling in, this is what I tell everyone, just call, a lot of people listen to Andrew, they're driving around, they were listening for months

or years and they're like, oh, I want to call in, but I don't know, I'm scared, I'm nervous. And what I've found is that for most people, they call it even just stating it, even just asking your question and putting some words behind it and being so brave. It's not easy calling in and the fact that you did that and then they heard, I mean,

this is such a wonderful outcome of that story. So I'm really happy for you, we all are. Things, Andrew. Let's see. Tammy, 39 in Canada. How do I get my vagina? Ah, vagina, talk. Two relax. In order to have my boyfriend penetrate me for rational sex. I'm a virgin, I need a committed relationship. My boyfriend is amazing and listens to me. Well, we're in bed. We have a good bedroom relationship I'm hoping to try anything with him We took a trip out of town and I honestly thought I would finally get to have vaginal sex

He mostly takes a leak when it comes to initiating sexy time and I'm okay with it. I like it I think in part I may be a submissive. We ended up having anal sex on this trip And while it did catch you by surprising what he wanted in he stopped to ask if it was okay with what he was about to do, I was more than okay. That experience was surreal and hell enjoyable, but I still feel that empty is I while I wanted to be able to have his cock in me. I'm considering going to my doctor, but help, amassing you first. All right, Tammy, your vagina is not relaxed. You might have something that we call the vagina business vaginismus or a variation of that. It's really painful for women to, or vulva dineas, the other name for it, that it's very

painful to have penetration. And I'm going to guess that it probably hurts maybe to put a tampon inside your finger inside of you. And while the causes for this different from woman to woman, there's a few things. It could have to do with a trauma earlier in life where sex became really scary. Maybe there was a sexual assault and your body just shut down from it. Maybe you even grew up in a stressful household where you were constantly clenching, right? The action of clenching impacts your pelvic floor and as a result of constantly clenching those muscles, your vagina just closes, it literally feels

closed up and you can't have any penetration and a lot of women suffer through this for a lifetime and one of my best recommendations for you is to go see a pelvic floor physical therapist, pelvic floor physical therapist. So just like you'd go to a physical therapist for your back or your knees, you can go to one for your vagina and diagnose what is happening in your pelvic floor. And for many women, the great news here is for women who suffer from this condition, give you something called dilators. They might do it with you and they might send you home with some and these dilators kind of look like a dildo and they come in all different shapes, so meaning it's like

a long, phallic object. And it's a practice of you put it inside and then you take it home with you and you do exercises where you might only be able to get it in for an inch or half an inch. And then over time you can put it in further and further and further and they teach you how to breathe and they teach you how to open up your vagina. So you can actually have penetrative sex and a healthier sex life. And so I recommended it. It's not well known as well known as it should be. But I do hear a lot of more practitioners going into pelvic floor physical therapy. Your insurance company might have someone and you

might be able to call up and see if they have that. If I went in your area, doctors up until maybe 20 years ago, they just were like, oh, it's trauma or we don't really know or it's inexplicable or it's emotional. And it might be all of those things. If you had a emotional trauma, I mean, just because your vagina might be open through doing this dilator practice, where you are constantly upping the size of a dilator over a few week period, because it only takes a few weeks, which is awesome. The thing is that your vagina might have, you might have been experiencing vaginism or vulva dimnia.

Vulva dimnia means it's more around the vulva and can't even take penetration in the vulva, which is the exterior part of the vagina. And vaginism is internal heart, but you could learn to open it pretty quickly, which is great news. And then if you have had trauma, you should also definitely see it there. But if you have any kind of sexual trauma, assault, anything in your life, unfortunately, when you experience something as devastating as a sexual assault or trauma, it doesn't dissipate over time. It actually can exacerbate and get worse over time. So I recommend that women do it. Oh, good. Jennifer 47 in Ohio has a success story going to a pelvic floor.

PT, just 47. Hi, Jennifer. Thanks for calling. I was actually going to say, I was just about to say, call in if you've had this. Thank you, Jennifer. Sure. So much of what you said resonated with me

and I just wanted to share with your listeners. My situation was a little different. I don't feel it was a traumatic caused it, but gosh, a few things. When you were saying clenching, how that can kind of seize up that area. One thing that my PT specialist told me is, actually, I was kegling or cagling too much and so my paraformist muscle was

yeah was basamming and I thought it was my I'm going to be very very raw here because you don't know who I am but I thought it was my husband's shape like he's not great and so I thought I thought I was kind of not blaming it on him, but that's what I had in my mind that it was because he's not Physically, he's not going in the straight So I thought he was hitting some area and causing problems and Sort of joking. He'd say no, I think it's you you need to get checked out I think it's you you need to get checked out and it turned out it was me and and And I went to a specialist and it was

uncomfortable and a little bit uneasy at first, but I was so happy that I did because I realized that I had an issue. And I'm not going to say this is the right answer for everyone, but she said, don't keep old. Kiggling is kind of like clenching of down there. Yes, exactly. So Jennifer, had you been keglling your whole life? How old were you in this happen?

Like, was it something that you had just started to do it? About 40, probably. And yes, I would keggle a lot because I felt like it would make me tighter and it would help during sex. And so I was. I would do it at stoplights. And maybe I was an over kegler. But maybe it wasn't necessarily that. It might have been a back

situation, but I'm in. I'm in. Yeah, I know. I'm in my gym and there was a sign on the wall for a pelvic floor physical therapist and I have even a longer funny story. My friend does this as a living and I was at her 40th birthday and I gave her cherry and wall balls for it like as a joke like I gave them to her as part of her sort of 40th birthday joke like tighten up down there and she laughs and she says this is actually what I do issue this is funnier than you think this is I didn't realize she I used to go to see but I didn't know for what and then I said you're the ones putting the sun is up in our gym. It was just the funny kind of thing. Oh, that's so funny. So, Jennifer, this is exactly it. Yeah. Yeah.

So, anyways, I didn't buy the device to take home because I was kind of, I still bad thing, and not so bad, but it is what it is. I was sort of afraid that my kids would find it. You know, and so I never bought it, but at the same time, I went back enough. I was pretty set on this is going to help me. So I went back enough that they kind of controlled the muscle down, just worked it out. I mean, really it's working out the nerves, the tension. So that's really interesting story. That is, you can over-cangle.

That is a thing. So, and now you're better, right? Now you don't have the pain anymore. Yeah. So happy, Jennifer. This is so helpful. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I would highly recommend

if anybody is feeling hesitation for, you know, just to help personal that type of PT is, I say try it, it's worth trying and it helps me. Okay, I love it. Thank you, Jennifer. That's so helpful. Thank you for sharing your story. Being vulnerable here. We really needed to hear it. Okay, let's talk to Matt in Texas. Returning caller. Hi, Matt. Thanks for calling. Hi, Emily. How are you? I'm so good, Matt. I don't know if you remember me, but I talked to you two years ago and we you actually gave me the idea of you being candles and Just teasing the senses with my boyfriend and everything and I

Yes, thank you Matt tell me everything what you use the candles. We're we yes They did and we are married now man, so Yes, we did and we are married now. Oh, man. So, and we actually wanted to thank you because you're actually the person that helped relight that spark between us. So, thank you. I'm so happy for you. I'm so glad you called in. That's amazing.

Yeah, we just celebrated our first year anniversary. So, I don't know why it makes a lot of a call in. Well, what's going on now? I'm thrilled that you're together. So we're still using the candles, using eyes here, still role-playing from time to time. Did you call in about role-playing the first time? Yeah, I did.

And I talked about going to a restaurant meeting up like we didn't know each other kind of the same thing. Yes. What's going on now? How can I help? So, we are thinking about introducing toys, but my concern is I don't want toys to replace something. Okay.

If that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. People get concerned by that. I don't want it to take away the attention of the two of us. Well, you've been talking about it. I'm more apprehensive than he is, but I don't know how to go about, like, the start. I've never used one before. Okay.

So, I mean, here's the thing about toys. Toys are just, and sometimes they can be more efficient. They can feel really good. I mean, sometimes they can be more efficient. They can feel really good. I mean, penises don't vibrate, right? Our bodies don't vibrate. It's a great sensation.

We have so many nerve endings on our body. Places that aren't necessarily reachable by a hand, or a penis, or a finger. And so, you know, a lot of couples who have this concern have found, and in my 15 years, I've never had anyone call in and say, oh, I left my partner for this cock ring.

But what they have said is it really, it can actually really enhance intimacy with a partner because you're trying something new together. So that also has that same dopamine rush because it's something new and exciting. And toys just allow you to explore. I mean, if you think about it, we use technology to improve our lives, right? We were very efficient with you. We were like, oh, we're going to get, you know, smartphone or the Alexa

for our homes. But with our sex life, we think, oh, it can only be sacred bodies against bodies. And if you just look at it like playing with each other, I think you're really going to enjoy it. What were you thinking of trying that? We were thinking of maybe vibrators or a double-ended build though. I'm not sure yet. Fun. Something that just can extend our play a little bit more. Yeah. Get a vibrator, get a penis ring. It depends what kind of sensations you're looking for. But I would start with a vibrator just to feel, because what's really fun is like you could be going down on your partner and use it to tease their perineum or their balls or the shaft as your mouth is on it or you could vibrate their nipples with it. It just feels great because we have so many nerve endings on our bodies. You could use the massage candle and then use the vibrator

over that as you're giving a massage. It's just another way to prolong pleasure and to tease each other and to feel really good. So you could also try a cock ring. You could try something for the prostate. We really love the vector or the ditto for the prostate from Wevibe. They're awesome toys. You can control them with an app on your phone for more every year at, if you're in the same room or you're across the world. Those are really cool. You could try double-ended dildo.

We've got some on our site as well, but I would just kind of get curious about it and play with it. Penis rings are the verge of the pivot. Yeah, we've got them all on our site too, if you want to check it out. But I would get one, something that vibrates and just know if it's a vibrating ring, you could still put it around your fingers and then use it to tease your partner.

So I would just go slow with one thing and just see how it feels and go from there. But they're not going to replace you. Call me if you're like, I don't want them. We're getting divorced because I fell in love with my Revive vector. I'd be like, we gotta talk, man. But I think you'll find it's gonna expand your sexual repertoire. It's gonna be the next level of things.

Let me know, Matt. Well, I will definitely, you know, I'll call that. Please do, Matt. I'm so happy to hear from you. I always wanted to know what happened. And now that you're married, I'm thrilled. I'm super happy for you. And I'm so grateful.

Thank you. I'm so grateful. Thank you. Maybe feel really good. I'll call Paul and let you know. Perfect. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you. That's it for today's episode. See you on Friday. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at Sex with Emily. Oh, I've been told I give really good email.

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