Sex With Emily - Sex Slumps & Vibrating Tongues

Episode Date: July 16, 2016

Today’s show is all about YOU. From sex slumps to dating drawbacks and blow job tips for beginners, Emily and Menace are doling out answers to all your sex and relationship uncertainties. Have your reproductive goals dulled your once-spicy sex life? What’s the best way to conquer oral sex anxieties? And how the heck do you meet someone real in the age of dating apps and bar hookups? Worry not— Emily sheds light on these common sex and love situations and shares advice to get you on the right track. Also discussed: does this generation’s social media proclivity lead to social awkwardness down the line? Whether you’re hoping to find new love, repair a current relationship or just need a little jump start in your sex life, let this podcast be your guide. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show is all about you. I'm answering your top questions, including what to do if your sex life has taken a dive after moving in together. Glad you're here, Minus, for this one. Oh, here is where to meet people that isn't a bar. Are you intimidated by oral sex, Minus? Plus tips for bringing sexy back to reproductive sex plans. Why are you keeping up with me? Listen to me. I don't'm not just because you're here. Thanks for listening.

You know, it's so great about sex toys. They don't get jealous. They just want you to feel good. Even if it means they sit one out while you try something new. Well, I was recently introduced to that something new, the Rabbit Company Leon vibrator. I'm here to tell you that this little palm-sized beauty is simply awesome. It's made for

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Lay it on today. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hairstand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. From our information, go to sexwithmv.com. We have a bang a new website, and I keep saying new because we launched a few months ago But it's definitely improving daily in fact We have a new store on the site shop with Emily click on the shop with Emily because you know I'm always for 11 years now Talking about my favorite toys or favorite lobes and you also know that Everything that I is on the store like that I've used every toy. I don't talk about stuff I don't like so now you can go there and you see my top picks.

Look for the shop at the LITAB and go shopping on my site. And subscribe to the podcast. It really helps when you not only listen, which we love, but when you subscribe. And now there's a subscribe button, which takes you to, you can download it or subscribe on Google Play, SoundCloud, and Spotify and definitely subscribe on iTunes. Love it.

And we love all that. And then also, finally, Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are all at Sex with Emily. And I can guarantee you there is some stuff you're gonna have to wanna miss, like a nip slip on Instagram. Every time I bring up something on Instagram, people love it.

Let's see what we have on here recently. Let's check it out. Okay. Let's see. Oh have on here recently. Let's check it out. Okay. Let's see. Oh, and off the... Oh, this is hilarious. What? People, you gotta go find this.

We just did the one we said. All right. You have to find this if you go to the show. So, um, sex with Emily on Instagram. Instagram.com.com. So, sexual Emily, if you don't have Instagram, you can still see it. Emily as a pirate.

With menace. It's freaking hilarious. She's looking for booty. I'm looking for booty. She's looking for booty. What's up, where's the booty? If you can go there and comments on that video and say that you have the booty,

maybe Emily will message you back. And send me the booty, no. So go there, go to the Instagram page and comment on the booty video. Do that. Her as a pirate, it's freaking funny. Thank you, menace. Thank you for joining me with that Asuka Paid. Yeah. One more thing though is Facebook.com slash. It's freaking funny. Thank you, man. Thank you for joining me with that

Escapade. Yeah one more thing though is facebook.com slash sex thenly you're like whatever I'm gonna go on your snapchat Mm-hmm, but um we're almost a million people who are actively like all over the world because we post every day We post articles we post videos like we're not just like you know Here's some of course is that new photos, but there's people love it because they're learning a lot. It's a great resource It's fun great resource. It's fun. And if you're like, my daughter can't see me on my husband, you can like it.

And then you could like hide it. So if you fetch your issue with it. But most people, we're gonna like it. They don't care. People think, but I'm saying, just, I don't know why you haven't liked it yet. I was saying, you got any issues? And I love you all.

I'm here with Manis. Hey, how you doing? So my goal, my goal is, I know it's mid-July right now. Okay. I sure hang this. my goal is, I know it's mid July right now. Okay. You're hearing this. My goal is to try to get you on Facebook live, you know, just short broadcast by August. And like we would do like a half hour Q and a kind of thing. Yeah, whatever. Hang out. Okay. Would you guys be down with that? So my listeners, yeah, email feedback at the lives of them. Yeah, life feedback or whatever they want to do.

That's so fun. I'm so. Yeah, Facebook is like great. It's like, come back. It can do cool stuff. Yeah, I mean, it was, but it's like, you got kind of boring, but they keep on trying to bring new things. That's what I like. That's what you got to do, man. You got to keep improving and then reinventing yourself. So we had this funny conversation before we started. I want to recreate it. Okay. Let's see if I know no one believes that you can sit through a movie. Right?

I mean, you would think that I just said, oh, I flew to the moon last night. Yeah. The way people look at me and the sevens, people know me well, people don't know me, the best of people don't, don't know me that well. But they're like, it's just now some amount of menaces this app where you can go see. Yeah, so yeah, I'm promoting this app. It's, we didn't, we're not talking about this because we're trying to set up a dog with app,

but it's called Adam and it's like a social app where you can buy tickets and tell your friends that come join Union. It's really cool. So go to thanksatomatom.com. If you want to check it out though. I place it at Adam like 8 a.m. Which is kind of weird.

Okay, so anyway, I was like, I want to go, I'm not saying I want to go, I'm not saying, do you, like, do you go to movies? Like I can't really picture like sitting in a movie. And it's just funny, because people are like, out of the blue, go, wait, wait, stop. You go to movies and they just can't believe that I could actually get to a theater, sit there, I guess, and not talk and just sit still.

Yeah. And it's just weird, because people, I've had this 15 people in my life that had this to me. And I told Madison that I did take your movie once and never again, ever. It was the worst movie ever, but we don't get to do it. It doesn't matter. You gotta be, you gotta be.

You know what it was that we knew a lot of people there. A propory around you. We were chatting. That's great, but there's people in there that don't want to hear you talk. I don't talk in movies. That's okay. I don't know if you know that we knew a lot of people there. A propory around you. You were chatting. That's great, but there's people in there that don't want to hear you talking. I don't talk in movies. It's okay. I don't.

But the thing is, it's just getting there, but once I'm there, I can tune out, and I do enjoy it. I got to look up with that. Look for me in a movie theater coming soon. I'll be coming soon to a theater near you. So pay attention. She'll be talking loudly. I won that.

But it's funny because I had a date, a first date, like a second date, like seven years ago with the guy I was dating in LA, and I was visiting him. And he was after the movie, he looks at me, he's like, you were like flip flopping around and you're seeing the entire time, like a fish. Like you up, because I like change my leg, I get uncomfortable. I can't even see you sitting through a TV show, because I've begged you for years to watch certain shows. I want you to do it.

I am. You know what? It's amazing. I want you to do it. I am. You know what it's amazing when I'm really into now unreal. Okay. Have you seen that? It's on show time, but you can also watch it on like Hulu with Sherry Applebee who I know I've become friends with her. I've met her and she this shows about. It's like the bachelor at.

But it's it's a scripted show about what goes on behind the scenes on a reality show. So like the evil producers, how they're manipulating all the contestants and stuff. And get harkened back in our days on MisadmissedMisadmissed. I'm Bravo, I might as well do that. But it's also just a great show. Yeah. So there you go. There I am.

Look how much I think it is. You're watching TV. You're watching a TV show. A show. It's crazy. There's a lot of mine blowing. But this is not about that. But what?

It's always good. I mean, to get to the, we're here for sexual sex, the Emily, always inviting somebody, you know, a significant other or somebody that you want to hook up with. I like, do you want to come over and watch, watch a show? The whole Netflix and chill thing that should be. Right. But that's just like, do you want to come over and give me a blowjob, right? No, but if you want to come over and watch a show, also, which I totally support is like,

a lot of people are doing these whole group things, where it's a lot of single people that will get together and watch like Game of Thrones or something like that. Yeah, exactly. I know a lot of people in my office that work, they do that. And I think that's great because then you get to meet new people and you have similar interests and then maybe you can lead to, you know, other things. Start your own. Start your own. We used to always watch Sex and San Francisco

years ago we'd watch Sex and the City when it was on. We'd like every Sunday night and then we moved it on to why can't I have word other show girls? We all watch that together. And I know a lot of people watch Batcharat together, just kind of enough fun, kind of ironic. So yeah, and I missed that. If I had a TV that worked in

a big enough place, I'd invite everybody over to watch TV with me. What's wrong with your TV, Doug? What are the things? The came of my place. I need a new one. I'm probably going to be, it's just, it doesn't work. I don't know. It's like this, you should see a medicine. It's like from the 80s. The 80s called they want their like TV set back. It's a box. It has like cable, but I watch mostly on my computer. All right. Yeah. I got to come over and my computer. All right. Yeah.

I got to come over and fix it. Come over and hang. It's easy. Okay. So also, well, I want to mention this quickly that we do do two shows a week and recently I did a show with Chris Jericho. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome.

It was awesome. It's called Wild Sex. Yeah, he's WWE stars. He's got a really successful podcast called, it was called Wild Sex, Scarves and Sexual Confidence. He wears scarves and it makes him feel confident. He is confident so much so he doesn't care that he wears scarves. There's a great show. So check that out.

That's cool. Yeah, it was a good time. And then today's show, we're answering emails. What else was I going to tell you? I love that you have Anderson also. Yeah, Anderson's back. You've been recording some shows again. He was never gone. It was good. It was really good. There's some Anderson shows. It was fun. I hadn't seen him. He's having a baby. Oh, what?

Yep, in like two months and so he took little hi-disc because love line, you know, came to an end I didn't see him and now he was out in Alaska, but yeah, he's back. So we got some great Anderson shows We've just been doing some killer and we've been you know a lot of you listening How about you on space? You've been so much done, right? I know dude. It's so great We had a 300 square foot office space for like five people Uh, and this is now we have a studio in our office. It was great in my yeah It's nice. You can breathe. We're not all on top of each other and it's crazy because you got like shells with different toys I don't know like I'm looking at this new. What's that glass thing? That's all glitter. Oh

That's a glass. Yo, you were saying funny menace. What that is a glass glass. Yo, you were just like funny, menace. What? That is a glass dildo. It's beautiful. That a porn star gave me in 2006. When we were on free FM, her name Sydney steel. Uh-huh. And she was a guest on the show. And that was like at the time, like, it was my first glass dildo. It was like, it's like a $200. You know, dildos are very like, they're glass blown. You can put them like a heat, you can put them in cold. And it's, And I've never used it. It's on the shelf.

Yeah, but it's beautiful. But it's beautiful. Thank you, menace. Thank you for noticing my glass dildo art. It was great, but yeah, we're surrounded by different items, which I'm sure, again, this is not a set up to, I hate when people call out, like, oh, you're just talking about this so you can set this up. But you have your whole shop on sex with Emily Dark.

Yeah. Yeah. It's really cool. I have a store that people could go, you know, yeah, for favorite toys and stuff like that. That's cool. Oh, we just got on. Okay, you know, I'm obsessed with Loub, like Loub and every nightstand is the only dream

I have now. Because people just freaking don't use enough Loub. And we just got like 50 pounds of lube deliver to the opposite day from Joe, because I love their lube and I went to visit them and they're like, here you go. And they sent me such amazing lubs because their lubs are like, they have like natural, like a natural line, like that's like, they have a water line, they have flavors, they have hybrids, they've

got like crazy flavors like banana clota, like they just, and they're just really they're good formula They're well respected because you can't just go buy stuff with a drugstore and put up in your vagina or in your Because it's men can use to master it But like we can't get stuff in our red diners. No, okay. So anyway, it's been a great week of toys because you know that everything Like I've tried them. I love them and they can send me a lot of good deal. We love we love our postman Yeah, so the the Woody show is, I always have to set up because we get new listeners all the time.

I know, I've set it up. But the Woody show is a morning show that I work on in Los Angeles. It's on Altman 8.7. And it's a podcast about pop culture and news and things like that. But I did, you can download it if you want to. I did bring out the womanizer and people were blown away.

You did? Yeah, because you've been pimping out and everybody around here that comes in talks about this womanizer thing. Oh, it's this, yeah. It's kind of brought it up so that people knew. Well, some people texted him because we have a texting service as we're talking live.

People can text in and say and then they text in and say, oh yeah, it's amazing and things like that. No, it is. I gotta say, there's a lot of new toys that come out every year and typically they're all in the same sort of range. This goes inside, dude. This is a little toy.

And this toy, it's let you for a big talk, right, if you listen. There's no other toy like it. There's very few that just like stick out. Yeah, to be heard. There's like magic wand, the rabbit, and then what else? I mean, what else really sticks out like at that level, and then it's been the woman either.

The oneizer, and it's not just, it's like people like in the sex field are like, have you tried it? So anyway, here's the funny thing. So it's out of my friend the other night, and I gave her one for her birthday. And she's a good friend, and then I haven't seen her since her birthday. It was like two months ago, and she, we were sitting there having cocktails or getting margaritas, which you appreciate. And we sat there and she was like, can I just talk to you for a second? Because I didn't tell her much about it. I was just like, this is a group by my favorite new toy.

I was trying to say, can we talk about the womanizer for a second? I'm actually like, that thing, like I have orgasm in like a minute and it was like amazing. And then I had three more. Like, what is that? And I was like, that's then I had three more. Like, what is that? And I was like, that's the whole thing. If you choose, you can have a 60 second orgasm. I mean, I like to tease it out sometimes. Like, I don't know. And I told her how you can vary it, so you're not.

But it's like a done deal. And it's just like this. It just uses this different technology that is like an indirect stimulation of a clitoris. So if my clitoris could talk, it would say this is what I want you to do and then you guys would know, but this toy just like knew, it's like the clit whisper. Anyway, it's funny. Oh, funny enough we did a video called the clit whisper, because I'm not a YouTuber.

So yeah, you'll be proud. But I'm glad you brought up. You're learning so much. I am. I was frightened the good word on your behalf. But it was funny, like, yeah, thank you. I appreciate it. OK, so sex the news. Let's do it. Too much social media as a teen can hurt romance later in life.

This is no surprise. I mean, come on. People who just have only known social media. And while we've talked about this a billion times on shows, it's just people, this becomes socially awkward. This is because they don't know how to talk to people in real life, they don't know how to look at people in the eyes.

I'm still, it's still hard to look at people in the eyes, but I can just imagine if you've been talking through a computer your entire life and then you have to have face to face conversation. How do you know? How do you have those conversations? Because on the internet, on your computer, or whatever, it's a delay. You have a moment to think. But when you face

the face, you don't have a moment. You have to be able to talk and have a conversation. Exactly. And then that's when it becomes awkward because people don't know what to say. And then they end up not talking. Right. And the thing is that you just need to know that it was awkward. It's always awkward at the beginning when you learn how to socialize and being groups and stuff. And so it's okay if it's awkward because I really think that you should all practice. But we had to go through that. We don't remember it, but we didn't have options not to be awkward because we didn't have

we were kids. We couldn't just text an emoji, you know. So the point is, okay, let's read this, this study, the study found that more that the more adolescents communicate online with their boyfriends and girlfriends, the worse they manage conflict. So there's fewer interpersonal cues, obviously. You can't see that like your boyfriend's face

was turning red because he was so angry, or she was crying, or he was crying, whatever. You're not seeing facial expressions or using nonverbal communication tone. And most tone and most of the communication that we do, a lot of it is nonverbal. Like just the way I'm like moving or body language, and you don't want any of that when you're online. So the predominant use of social media limits the opportunity to practice in person,

conversations that are crucial for adolescents, particularly boys, to develop these important skills. And it says that, you know, they were worse at managing conflicts. So, um, they're in touch with their peers 24-7 through social media, but they don't, you know, they don't do with it. So, um, it doesn't say how they failed, like, managing conflict, but I'm wondering, like, how are they feeling? Is it like, they get in front of their girlfriend and they just send some, like, random, like, emoji, like, uh, something that means nothing, like, they get in the fight with their girlfriend and they just send some random emoji, like something that means nothing,

like a boat or a sad face or a karate. I don't know what you would send that you're feeling. Maybe you just drop off all communication, but I'm sure that I never, first of all, even this day I've dated guys who were like, let's discuss this and they wanna go over text. I don't wanna have any serious conversations over text. You just shouldn't, like if you are having a conflict

with somebody, it could be someone at work, it could be a friend. The most effective way to do it is in person, or if you can't on the phone. But through text, you don't know what the hell's going on. And I believe that you spend more time online. Like I think so many conversations that I've had texting, I could have had

three minutes on the phone. Yes. It pisses me off. So people just say, I absolutely agree. And then it's so funny because this has always happened in, I don't know, probably the last 10 years where we get younger interns or people, they'll say, how do you know everybody in the building?

I go because I don't talk to email. I go to that person's desk and I talk it out. Exactly. Because why am I going to send 15 million emails back and forth? I don't know the tone. There's things that we can miss. We can have a two minute conversation, face to face, then I know that person even more, you know?

People are hiding behind it, but again, it's not to blame. It's like, I don't, it's not to blame. It's like, I don't, it's not like these adolescent boys are evil and wrong. It's like, no, they just don't know better. You don't know better, because we grew up again. Like when I first started working,

I remember I worked in politics, and I might often find that interesting, but I worked at City Hall for our local supervisor. And she was the most intense boss I ever had. I mean, she was like scary, like in a good way though, because it made me, I think it, I learned a lot more, but I would literally be calling someone

in our building in City Hall. And she'd be like, if they don't answer, she goes, Emily, just get up and walk over to their desk. She'd be like, don't take no for an answer, and I would, I have to like walk across, I'm like, hello, and like, that's what you did. And so it was like, you always call, but this way it was like, you get over there.

And I just, I'm gonna start coming over to your house now and I have a question for you. I'll be like, didn't I, and Matt, can you do a show on April 2nd? Yeah, do it. Okay, no, I'll call. No, I'll call. I'll call you.

You won't answer. Texting is good though for like logistics, but you know, and like sexting. But okay, here I'm not dickpecks. Okay, so let's, um, would you like to get into some emails? Yes, please. Okay, but first let's give a big shout out to our sponsors.

We love our sponsors and we love you all for supporting them, so thank you. Lube. You know, I never stopped talking about it. And for good reason, for 10 years, I've been on a mission to get Lube on every night's sand in the world. Well, I'm so happy to announce that I have a new partner in my quest. Joe! As a company, Joe is committed to making my mission come true.

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toy cleaner. The Certified Organic Natural Love Line, along with all the joe personal care products, is now available on my store. Just go to sexwithemily.com and click on the shop with Emily or the Joe banner. Trust me, this loop is going to change your sex life. Okay, everyone. Thank you for sending your emails to feedback at sexwithemily.com. Menace.

Yes. This is the part where you tell everyone why it's important. No, we need your name where you live, your age, and like listen. All right, hold on. We should make up a jingle. All right. Okay, so when you email the show, just do us a favor. We'd love to hear where you're emailing from anywhere in the world because it's interesting

to us. We get off on it. Yeah, it's like, wow, people actually do listen to the show. And tell us your age because we want to know like what part of your life that you're in. Right, life stages. And then you can make up a fake name. Yeah, for now.

And the other thing is very important. We'd love to hear how you listen to the show. Right. Do you listen on iTunes? Do you listen on sex to Emily dot com? Do you listen on SoundCloud, Spotify, Google Play? Google Play everywhere. We just want to hear you back. Not you listen on sound cloud, Spotify, Google play, Google play everywhere. We just you know, one here.

That's all we want to know. Right. Thank you. Thank you. That's really good. Also new new feature that we're off And you all you can call us and leave a voice message 818 ask SW1. That's eight when I ask at like sex with Emily Ask SW1 or eight when8, which is the same. But do people have the numbers on their phone, the letters to the numbers? So 8-8, they do, I do, I, 8-8, 275, 78-31. It's all in sex. It's only.com. But wasn't there a time, oh, it's probably a while ago, thinking like a flip phone.

I don't do that often where I'm like spelling things out. But remember like the flip phones phones like didn't have that There was like a version of Phil. Yeah, there was a version to have the The letters. Yeah, okay So a couple ground rules keep your message to about a minute Don't include your last name or the names of anyone talking about and do tell us rage. We're calling phone same stuff Go to my website. Yeah, love it. Ready? All right, hi Emily

I'm a 30-year-old female and listen to your podcast, Via Itons. I'm in a relationship with a great man who I love and has been one of my best friends for years. We were long distance for the first year of our relationship and I just moved in with him a month ago. When we were long distance, we saw each other on the weekends and the sex was amazing. He always made sure I came first, would give me multiple orgasms, he was passionate, etc. Since I moved in, however, our foreplay lasts about half as long.

He finishes way more quickly, like in three minutes, and I often don't orgasm. Of course, we have sex more often now, and we are in a long distance, about every other day. But this abrupt change in just about every aspect of the sex is so confusing to me. Everything else about our relationship is great. What is a good, considerate way that I can ask him why he suddenly doesn't seem too concerned about getting me off.

Well, the time... Ruby. Well, the time apart, you had to take... The time apart, you had to take advantage of the time that you had together. You know? Right. And then when you moved in together,

then there's so much access that you don't have to put in that much time. Do you really want to put in that much time every single time? Did I say time enough to? Okay. Sorry. Menace, I'm so glad you're here.

Okay. I'm sorry. I just got lost in that conversation. No, no, no, no. I'm just saying, I want to put in that effort as a dude. As a dude. Yeah. As you hook up.

I'm trying to say it sends without saying time one more time. Here's the thing. Menace, when couples move in together, no, we all get what you're saying. Okay. About the time. I don't know what you're saying at time, but there's no time even. All right. Every time you fill around, right? time. I don't know what you're saying at time, but there's no time even in this. Every time you feel around, right? Yeah. Okay. Moving in together, it's a

beautiful thing. You've decided, you know, it was long distance, which I love. This is what I love about the story here. This is what you're doing right, Ruby. Couples in long distance relationships without an end date and goes on forever. They're great. They're called vacation relations. You have great sex every time we see each other. But now you've moved in together. And this happens, you move in together, you become comfortable, it's no longer like the longing,

the anticipation, the spontaneity, because you're there. And so what that does is while you become closer, it also kind of can cancel out a lot of that fire, that romance, that attraction, because you have access constantly. Right. And so, and I'm sure he does still care about pleasing you. I'm assuming he does, but since the nudist has worked off and he sees you and you're more accessible, he's probably not as conscious about it. So I think you just, you got to bring it up to him,

because I, he might just be assuming that you're getting off, that maybe you want to rush it. up to him because he might just be assuming that you're getting off, that maybe you want to rush it. I don't know. But bring up, you know, obviously you don't want to say like, what's going on with our sex life? You never go down to me because every sex conversation, you know, if you started off with like the negative tone and blaming, he's not going to hear a word you say, like, you know, you lost him at we need to talk, okay? So what you can do is just bring up the things that you missed. Like you'd be like, you know, you lost them at we need to talk, okay? So what you can do is just bring up the things that you missed, like you'd be like, you know, babe, I love that living with you has been so great,

having sexually more often, but you know what, I can't stop thinking about how used to go down to me, like that would just, that, so hot, I would come so hard, we should like do that more, like that was how, you know, you gave me those massages and whatever, and like just explain to him, like I really require to him, like, I really require a foreplay, like it feels good.

And I feel connected. So let's just like do that. And that's it. That's what you got to say. And you could initiate foreplay. You can start making out with them. You can like, slow them down if he's moving too fast. But nip this in the bud.

Like you just moved in together. I love that you are in great sex before. And we're talking about this very precious moment in time where you still have those memories, it's still new enough. We're like, that was just happening where he was going down to me for an hour and a half. And now we're together and he hasn't seen my vagina

on two months. So it's time to like say this is what I need, this is about intimacy in great sex. So make it reciprocal. And you can say, you know what, you can even say listen to this podcast, sex, Emily. And co-abitation affects couples' lives. It just does, now menace.

Yeah. I already know where this is going, but I really hope that you could be raw and open and ask me for just one moment. I am. You've been living with your girlfriend. Yeah. Who I don't even know and couldn't pick out of a lineup,

but I've seen living with your girlfriend. Yes. Who I don't even know and couldn't pick out of a lineup, but I've seen very happy, whatever, once. If you guys, like, what's changed since you, like, has your sex life been impacted by living together? Uh, besides the dog. Besides the dog? You're ever gonna get on the dog, right? Well, no, I mean, I think the dog has been a factor because we like having the dog in bed. So it kinda puts it in.

Okay, so that's a good couple of things. Yeah, yeah. So, but, I mean, before that, no, I like cohabitating with people. Right. But you didn't feel like, well, because you don't have wear sex like, okay, I'm just saying that.

No, no, no, but I am, but I'm just saying, like, I've cohabitated with a couple of people in my life, right? And I haven't seen a change. The only time that I've cohabitated with a couple people in my life, right? And I haven't seen a change. The only time that I've seen a change is when I have added a dog into the mix that we absolutely love. And it's just like, so it makes it a little bit more difficult.

Because I'm effing weird. I don't like the dog looking at me. As I'm having sex. Because I'm trying to dog to give them a big, friggingin bone for a minute I know honey I know you are I'm just saying because you're like you're you're Do you want a

I have no I'm glad you're not I'm so glad you're out of issues But what I'm saying is for a lot of couples and people long term relationships I'm not saying everyone yeah, you moving together and as a byproduct of that, it just happens, like nothing's wrong, you resident like terrible people, it just that you forget like how it was before and you get into a routine. And all I'm saying is sometimes that can take, that can take your sex life, put it on the back burner,

you don't prioritize it, and that doesn't just naturally get better on its own, like a cold, like I'm just sick today,'m gonna stay about no this actually gets worse. So The sooner you can be like you know what our sex like it's a priority that we like cook together that we like watch Netflix The other and that we have sex together and we keep like having better and better sex How can we do that like prioritize it put it right there doing definitely does happens I agree with that all right good Dear Emily, where are the best places to meet single women? I'm 51 years old I'm now retired for sanity sake and live with my 12 yards 12 year old son

in Bali, Indonesia. Oh wow. We're I'm writing this message to you from now I always want to go to Bali. I know it's amazing. I was there years ago. I want to go to I'm I've outgrown spending my weekend nights at a bar Our nightclub and for years I tried dating sites to I'm I've I've grown spending my weekend nights at a bar or nightclub And for years I've tried dating sites where I've almost always ended up meeting a totally different person than the one I met online So he's had some bad people say there's something what are with the scenes like I know I know I wish I could it's a man. We have to tell you I mean I was there like years ago But he says he is no problem hooking up. Of course. He's got a problem hooking up You know I'm Tinder or in a club or if it hits me, but I'm talking about making someone

worth a genuine possibility of a mutually rewarding relationship. He's active, he's like, I play tennis, and I've never, you know, that's never born fruit either. He says playing sports and stuff. So where do I look to meet women? Gross, he's sourcing coffee shops, thanks Conrad. So he's in Bali and I understand like,'s can be hard being a foreigner there but you know yes but there's thing I feel like yes coffee grocery stores yes your local

gym yes coffee shops like meet people everywhere you go have the intention of when you're out like meeting new people he lives in such a beautiful place and there's so many expats there Like I know a lot of people who live in communities with their expats they go on hash that's a hash it's a run. They do all over the world. Um, when you live in different cities, you can like let's go run, you know, in a bud, which is a town in Bali. There's topless women when you Google search. Bob doesn't want the top maybe does maybe it does. Maybe one of those women are sent to. Just go for a mentor.

Yeah. And so women are also attracted to guys and guys. Right, so I talked to women who are like, own the room. Like if you've got your local place that you go and you walk in, they're like, hey, hey, Conrad, how you doing? I'm going to see this morning. Here's your half decaf, lot to double mocha. Like they know you and like that feels good for you and that that's kind of

Attracted for people to just be like sky owns the room. He knows people you've got a community So build that community and let people know there that that you're single I mean, I think I don't know if you want to date locals or you want to date access But again great expect community of madness is still googling you we look this off I'm just trying to find something for him and Bolly. Because like here in the United States, we have websites like Meetup.com, right? I bet you they've a Meetup and Bolly.

It does. It does. Madness and producer Madness and look it up. Yeah. Yeah. But I think just the more you're involved with the community and the greater social networks you create, whether it's with locals or expats,

and you put yourself out there, because you're saying, what what coffee shops. Yeah, you're retired. If I was retired I would sit in coffee shops like I read because in San Francisco too That was my thing. I'd go every morning to Martha's coffee and I had like my people like I wasn't there for six hours But in the morning for like an hour even I'd go we catch up half hour and it felt like because sometimes you move away Especially in Bali, but we don't have our families around us anymore. And you gotta just find those places where, you know, like everyone knows your name, like cheers.

That a reference to no one's gonna get. No, totally. I mean, cheers is huge. Sometimes you wanna go. Yeah, I've been to the cheers in Boston. I'm actually the one cheers hater on the planet. Like I didn't like it, but I'm 99% of the people out there love cheers.

So there's something to that of having a place where you know the locals and you feel comfortable and ever we go. So hopefully that's helpful. I'm sorry, I wish I would know a little bit more about Bali other than it has amazing beaches. Right, it does, but like go, you know, volunteer there. Like there's they need. Yeah. Like that's why I was looking at.

I'm trying to look at meetup.com because maybe there was like groups that he could join that have similar interests. There are extra. I just think he's. I'm sure there's a equivalent somewhere. There is. Every go you can find people, but I really just think that that I think he's probably going through a lot of transition now to being retired in a new country and you're like, where, where, where, but I really just think that I think he's probably going through a lot of transition now to being retired

And a new country and you're like, where are we are? Where are we are? But I think you can do it yourself Get a dog. I want to talk Don't bring that up. I'm gonna say that I wake up in the middle of the night like looking for Stanley. He's not even my dog Okay, hi, Emily. I'm a 20 year old female. I'm dating a guy who now is my first sexual partner So I'm a newbie when it comes to everything I know he really wants me to give him a blowjob a dating guy who now is my first sexual partner. So I'm a newbie when it comes to everything. I know he really wants me to give him a blowjob,

but I don't know how, and I kind of have a fear of it. I really want to be able to try it, but I can't get over that scared feeling I get when I think about doing it. What kind of dude to get over the fear and become more comfortable with giving him a blowjob? Mimi! I think women have a lot of fears.

Pre-blowjob. Like when you've never given a blowjob, it's like the scariest thing. It's like how am I gonna do it? Like I remember this. I remember my boyfriend pressuring me. I had braces. I think I've told the story.

I was 16, I sold braces and he was like, gave me a blowjob and I was like, oh my God, and then in one day, it was like a year we were dating. I gave my first blowjob with braces. And I was terrified. It was like a whole thing. Like I might do it right.

So normally, Mimi, you haven't done it before. You don't have like penises lying around like me unless you can really try on. So I get it. Like there's a lot of fears because, you know, maybe you've seen some porn and you think it's gotta be perfect and you want to get it all right.

But I think the first thing we gotta do Mimi is take the pressure off yourself. Well, I mean, you wanna apply pressure, but this is take the pressure off yourself. Well, I mean, you want to apply pressure, but this is the pressure on yourself. And the number one tip for a great blow job. My number top three tips is having enough pressure on it. And but first of all, your guy knows he knows that you need a blow job. He's not going to expect you to become like this blow job queen, but you got to get over your nerves and just like dive in.

So the number like, okay, but top three tips, enthusiasm. So, the number, like, okay, but top three tips, enthusiasm. So, when you're down there, and this one might be a little hard at first because I know you're gonna be nervous, but a lot of it's just like, you're licking it, like it's the most delicious ice cream cone you've ever had. And it's like, it's a 90 degree day out in summer

and there's like little drops and they're about to drip off your cone. And you're like, I don't want to drop in. And you lick it, like that's how you want to, like that's how you want to like, be into it, right? So you're licking it, your cone. And you're like, I don't want to drop in. That's how you want to devolve. That's how you want to be into it, right? So you're licking it. Your tongue is a great arsenal. You want to pie pressure.

So a lot of the women, I think, are typically too soft. And so- That's the worst. I know. So what you want to do is think of your hand too, because your hands and your tongue, or your commandos. What is it, your second and third and command? You're going to load up. So yes, your mouth. But your hand too because your hands and your tongue or your you know your Commandos. What is it your second and third and command? Yeah, so yes your mouth But your hand and so if you put your hand around a penis, right? This how you know you're putting enough pressure on it's pretend this blow-dub spray is the penis

So you put your hand around it and when you're holding you want to make sure that there's an even amount of pressure Around the entire penis. So it's like your fingers aren't squeezing more than the thing and they're like, oh, that's the pressure you want. Okay. And then when they're with your mouth, you want like, you know, you want to make sure there's like suction, you're not blowing your suction and there's like pressure like think about it. Like his penis, it wants to feel like it's in a vagina. That's the tightness of it. Like that's what you want to do. And then you want to make sure that it's wet, wet enough. Wetter is better. Um, you can take a sip of water, you can use a little lube, you can use slow job stay, which I use on the air,

so I don't like. I love it. Start it. And then just like asking for feedback, communication. Like a guy's not afraid, it's just like, hey babe, how's that going? I mean, like learn it together. I'm sure he knows you haven't done it.

So those are my first time tips, so really you just gotta breathe. It's like, it's like, everything is practice. Don't worry, the guy's not gonna done it. So those are my first time tips are really you just got to breathe. It's like it's like everything I'm doing it. Don't worry. The guy's not gonna Did not know he's so psych is getting a blowjob Yeah, so maybe take the pressure off his number one and put the pressure on the penis. Okay Hey Emily my wife and I are trying to have a baby, but I feel she's being too technical

About how living sex yeah, well yeah, because she's like you know He's like I'm not turned on by all like the pre sex like guy I have sex now like that's getting bad do this thing like the pre-seed lubes like just make a baby now just make a baby We had a wild sex life before and we're trying for a future bundle of joy We've had three sums played with toys. She orgasms very easily and I want that to continue So how do I get her to loosen up and go with the flow to make sex fun and adventurous again, Dan and Nashville? It's common. It's becoming robotic, right?

Yeah, because well, here's the thing, there's a lot of pressure, you know, women and men, but the women are like, we know, like when we're ovulating, like, we pianistic and it's like we have two days, maybe a day that you can get pregnant when you're really trying for a while. So it's a sensitive time and I'm great. I'm so glad that you guys were great sexual foundation, but Dan, it's not gone forever, okay? And it's on you then. Like if you know that this is the day, the month that she's going to be like, we got to have sex. Like let's make it interesting. You know, I get the spontaneity is gone and it's less exciting, but you can make it more

adventurous. No reason you have to throw out. I wouldn't sit there as it's less exciting, but you can make it more adventurous. No reason you have to throw out, I wouldn't say it does a threesome, but you said you use toys. Why don't you like sneak a toy in the next time? Like even if, why don't you have sex in the car when you pull the driver in the next time? And so you know this is the night? Take a toy in the glove compartment. Like, you know, have sex somewhere else besides the bedroom. It's summer, have sex outdoors. In between your schedule sex, you can have four play like when the mood strikes you, like just make sure that you're giving and receiving

and this is gonna be a little bit of a stressful time. And you want her to feel comfortable and safe, you know, not like she's nagging you. So she's got a lot of work, I mean, it's just not always easy for you, you're not in this realm. But like you've got, you've heard couples like trying to get pregnant become stressful

So the hot sex will come back But also the more that you worry that it's not there. It's not gonna be there. So So let your wife she can worry about the population you go along with it But also think about the things that made it so happy for and you can still do that just because you're trying just Because we're trying to have sex right now. She's not gonna be like no more hot wilds at you know, so you know You don't want to like how to get all angry with you because you seem like you don't want to be a kid and that goes hot sex Yeah, so hot sex can happen anywhere and this is a great time to like you know I have a great book called hot sex over 200 things you can try to night and I'm bringing it up because

It's such an easy book to use because you open it to a page And you're like, oh, let's try that thing. It could be like, you know sucking in our nipples with like whipped cream or something like I don't there's a million things You don't need to go buy crazy stuff unless you know what cream but you know, I'm saying there's ways to tease check it Family to new email do you anything else say to them? No No because you're not having a baby But you know what I mean like your guys be happy And then eventually you all go back She's trying to get the job done right now, so just got a relax. I'm in it chill

Mm-hmm out I think everyone's need to chill out. Yes, please. We just say chill out to everybody. Mimi. Yes chill out about the blowjob Who else are we talking about in November? Yes, please. Can we just say chill Mainly to do with male sex toys. My girlfriend doesn't enjoy giving me anal stimulation, aka rimming. So are there any toys that stimulates the same kind of sensations as a human tongue? Number two, are there any toys that stimulate a tongue on nipples? She doesn't mind doing this, but sometimes it's difficult depending on which position we're in.

I think this is a great question, because I like that he knows what he likes, and he's willing to try different things to get out there, and a lot of men don't like their nipples touched, like don't know that there's even sensation there, maybe they haven't tried. There's some, I'm not into it of course, naturally, because I'm the Debbie Downer,

but I do know that there, I know Ben out there that I absolutely love it. Right, exactly, because we're all different, so. I know women out there that I absolutely love it. Right, exactly. Because we're all different. I know women out there that I absolutely love it too. Oh yeah. So, here's a toy that replicates anal rimming. Okay, let's go like, licking around the anal.

Yes. The weave-up touch, it's perfectly tongue-shaped. I love this toy. It has a number of mind-blowing vibration patterns you can choose from. And it looks kind of looks like a tongue and it has these vibrations that extend throughout but it also has a little Like a tip that you can pinpoint to where your nerve endings are where it feels good So you can have your girlfriend use it on you the same way she would a tongue with the point tip lightly circling around Just promise me this you will not insert it insert it

Entering this because the only toys that you can insert need to have a flare tip so they don't shoot up and then you'll end up in the emergency. They carry it away by your sphincter muscles, never do we seen again. Geez. Sorry, dude, it's true. Is that like a new thing? What?

Men sticking to it. Why is more people talking about more and more the whole ribbing? Ribbing? Really? In the past three years it has been being brought up constantly. Porn? I guess. I don't know. Why is talking about more women? Women want to be better. Just in pop culture.

I don't know. I think it's like why is everyone talking about choking? It's wording. And I think, Grimm, you're right. Like it wasn't a thing. I don't hear. I think it's like why is everyone talking? It's wording. And I think, Rimmie, you're right. Like, it wasn't a thing. I don't hear it as more than... I don't feel like I'm hearing it more. I feel I do. That's so weird. Yeah.

You think I would be. All right. I mean, there's a scene in Girls where... Right. That you're right. That was a living scene. Yeah, it's going in a pop culture. So you better all get your Rimm on. Clearly, that's what we're pop culture. So you better all get your rim on. Clearly that's what we're here about,

rimming with Emily. You can go tongue apparatuses. This is a course on a sexual thing, but have you seen the online thing where they're selling those fake tongues so you can lick your cat? It was like, no. Huge kicks are, they made a ton of money. You could lick your cat. You know, huge kicks are made to ton of money.

You could lick your cat back? Yeah. It's like you put it in like a passport thing and it has like a plastic tongue and you lick your cat with it. It gives it wet so you can like clean it because the cats lick themselves to clean themselves. I don't know.

The hygiene. But it's supposed to be... It is a joke or for real. No, it's not real. People are like, I love my cat so much I want to like it. Yes. It's a couple out of Oregon that's putting it out. I'm kind of, I don't know what to say. I'm not, I love cats.

I can't imagine having that urge. You could probably use it for other purposes other than licking cats though. Is that the, so it's like an incognito sex toy? Like, oh, you know, I'm just looking at my cat. I'm definitely meant for cats, but I'm just saying that. Is it like, so you don't get the fur then it's actually not actually lick it with your tongue yeah I find this interesting I would like one look it up okay also toys for nipple stimulation

any bullet vibe would be great for nipple play but you want them what targets that one that targets the vibrations to the tip versus the entire toy. So there's the new, the Whisper Quiet lay on by, that's L-A-Y-O-N-Vive from the Rabbit Company, perfect for this kind of stimulation. We actually all got them in the office for weeks ago because I think Madison had one first and they only sent us one and we all wanted them because she said it was so awesome.

So Whisper Quiet, I've held it in my hand. I've actually put it, but I know that it's just the coolest, like, has these two little, right, it has a two little, like, the ear. So you can also pinch that between your nipples. And it's specifically designed, stimulates every rod in a zone. And it has a little bunny ear pengees.

So you can, like, target specifically. You'll see what I mean. Just go to sexwithelm.com, click on the rabbit company banner. It's awesome. And, Loub, Loub, it's awesome. And Loub, Loub is amazing. Don't forget your Loub. Everything in the weather is better. I love System Joe's warming Loub.

That could feel great for the rimming sitch. And more slippery, more pleasurable. I think like Loub, anything to do with nipples, if you're kissing or vibing, add like a touch, like a touch of Loub. It's just midge. Or like you're such a Loub push. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just like, on our labian, you rub up and down, it's like a whole other, because we're talking nerve endings.

We're talking like 8,000 nerve endings. So like, your, yes, your tongue feels good. Yes, your fingers go, and yes, a little wet lube is like a different, it doesn't, it's not saliva, it's, it's, just try it. Just try it. I just want to know when every night's

day before I die, system Joe. Yeah, system, yeah, I love it. It's on my website. Sexandly.com. Toads. That's all we got time for. I know. This was epic.

Love it. Well, we got to talk about Lou, which you absolutely. We got like 50 pounds. You can have a bottle to go. Do you want a little care package? Do you want to borrow my glass, Dildo? No, I'm definitely going to take a picture of it so I can show my co-workers. You should do a field trip here.

Definitely. I hope I, well, we're going to do a drunk show my coworkers. You should do a field trip here. Definitely. I hope I, well, we're going to do a drunk show again soon. Yes. It's going to be fun. And, um, yeah, love seeing you check out Menace at Menace. Cross the boys. At Menace? Instagram?

All that. A lot of sex on me. Listeners follow my dog. She's in the skinny too, which is weird. Yeah. Check out my bikini. My dog's sure. My baby, she's currently in San Francisco right now without you

Yeah, cuz I'm taking off the Mexico and uh-oh Your dates, okay guys doesn't matter, but you're gonna have fun and I'll see you soon We'll do the drunk show level party. Um, all right everyone. Thank you. Thank you Madison producer Madison and Laurie and Jamie my awesome team at sex with Emily And thank you all thanks for listening was a good for you email feedback at Sex with Emily. And thank you all, thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sex with Emily.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Sex toys are kind of like potato chips.

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