Sex With Emily - Sex Talk With Adult Film Star Conner Habib
Episode Date: January 28, 2015In this throwback show, Emily sits down with gay adult film star, writer and lecturer Conner Habib to talk porn sex, real sex and the best blow job tips (from someone who knows best!) Think being an ...adult film star is all fun, games and orgies? Think again! Conner gives us the inside scoop on what it’s like behind the scenes on the porn set. He explains the big difference between being good at porn and being good in bed, and shares how his career has helped him to be less superficial in the dating world. Plus, what lessons should people really be taking away from porn? Conner answers some of the questions we’ve been dying to ask: How do you “try out” for porn? Is Rest-Stop Sex still a thing? When giving a BJ, what do you do with your hands? And what’s the deal with straight women loving gay porn?All this and so much more in this oldie-but-goodie Sex With Emily podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I
Look into his eyes
They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex
Eyes that block our secret institutions
Betrubized they call them in a bygone
Hey, Emily you got a boyfriend because my man E here
He just got his heart broken he thinks you're kind of cute the girls got ever stand
Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?
What do you mean, like laundry?
It's shrink?
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god, I'm so proud.
Being bad feels pretty good.
But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
I'm going to tell you about things that will
prove your sex life.
You know, I only tell you about products and things that will help you.
So let me tell you about Jezou.
They make high quality premium sex toys.
They're all rechargeable, waterproof, powerful.
Do I say powerful?
Powerful?
Powerful.
And designed to hit her in all the right places.
And you can play with them together.
So they have, and they're all like just, you wouldn't even know that, like if you're into like your iPhone and you love the way it comes packaged, it kind of comes packaged
like an iPhone. Like it has all these really cool chargers and it's, it's, they're just
high tech, they're cool. And you can use it with your partner. They have, you know, you guys
are herring tech with the J. Zoo. It's a Mimi for years. It's amazing. It's a great one
to use during intercourse, literal, literal stimulation. But my new favorite, sorry Mimi, is the Mio. It's a penis ring,
but it's a penis ring like no others, okay? So it's one size fits modes. Go around
as penis, you wear it during sex. It's a really powerful vibe. And I'm just telling you this
because I actually, to be honest, had a really good experience with it this weekend. I used to be
four, but now I really got into it. Life vibrations are so intense.
He loves the vibrations.
They feel great on his areas.
Plus, it's not only a penis ring.
You can take it off wherever on your fingers
and use it anywhere you want on the body.
And it's just the coolest toy.
They've got the Fifi, which is a dual stimulation
for a clitoris and G-spot.
And I'm just obsessed with these toys.
I've been talking about them for years.
And I love them, so check them out,
they are next-level sensations.
And also, they're beautifully packaged and discrete.
Leave them out, no one knows that they are
mini orgasm machines.
So just use code Emily, and you get 10%
off your purchase at jju.com.
That's j-e-j-o-u-e.com.
Use coupon code Emily for 10% off.
Thanks for listening.
You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in
between. For more information, go to sexandemlee.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts.
Sign up for our mailing list, which you should do ASAP, like my Facebook page, Facebook Twitter,
sex and family, all that stuff, and just check us out. Today's show, we have a special guest. It's Conor Hubby. He has a sex and
relationship advice show that appears weekly on logo TVs,
new, now, next website. He's a writer, lecturer,
and adult film actor. His writing has appeared in salon.com.
Reality sandwich, the dish, the advocate, and many anthologies,
including best
sex writing of 2013. His book on sex and culture will be published in early
2014. He lives in San Francisco where he runs a spirit, he lives in San
Francisco where he runs a spirituality and science discussion.
You're a busy man, science discussion group. Hi Connor. Hi. Thanks for being here today.
What's up. I'm
happy to be here. I'm so excited that you wrote and you wanted to come on the show and
you're an adult film performer, writer, you kind of do it all, you're hot. You got to check
out this picture. We're going to post some of those pictures of you. Yeah, just don't Google
me at work. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't Google your work. Not safe for work. But first,
let's talk about, let's talk about what you do.
So it gave porn.
Yes.
Do you ever do straight porn?
No.
You can't.
You would.
Right?
You would.
It's not that I can't.
But no, I was actually asked to do it once.
OK.
You're so cute.
Thank you.
But I've literally never had sex with a woman.
So I didn't want my first time to be on camera.
No, no, no, no, no, no, it does.
Yeah.
Right?
You're gonna go, not a good idea.
Not even if you're getting paid.
It's kind of embarrassing to have,
lose your virginity on camera.
Right.
Okay, got it.
It's like a frat prank or something.
Exactly.
Oh my god, but that's gonna actually be interesting.
Yeah.
But that's not what you do.
So, so what is it about?
How do you prepare for a shoot?
You know, I have to tell you, it doesn't.
It's your naked, I feel like I would tan a hundred times.
I would not eat for a month.
Like, you do.
Well, that kind of preparation shirt,
like you get a tan and you go to the gym a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you go to the gym a lot. You do, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go to the gym a lot, you eat well,
and eating well can be kind of annoyingly restrictive,
but you do that to stay in shape.
I'm not like, you can see from, you can see,
I'm not like some huge, completely chisel buff guy.
So, you know, I'm more of just a normal guy who's in shape.
And so, like, I don't have to go completely crazy,
but I also kind of have to go completely crazy,
but I also have to work in some ways harder
than those people who are just like
giganically buff and have gotten there.
But you must have other mad skills.
Now, when you look fit to me, but I don't know.
So what's that leg being on a porch
that you know the people before you're having
your sex with them?
No, you just get right into it.
So there's like, hi, nice to meet you. It's like every first day work. If it's with them? No, you just get right into it. So there's a high nice to meet you.
It's like every first day work.
Yeah.
If it's nice to meet them, you say that.
No, it's always nice to meet them.
Yeah, you just show up.
And I mean, sometimes I'll send you photos of the person
that it's going to be.
I mean, usually no who it is before you show up.
So you have some idea.
OK.
And you can watch their movies before you show up.
Right.
Exactly.
And are you ever been like, oh god,
I don't want to have sex with this person today
and I have to?
Or?
Well, only in the sense of sort of like any job,
like some days you don't want to go in
and some days you're totally fine with it.
Right.
You know, there's never been someone
that I've been like, I don't want to have sex with.
There have been some people who,
like they have kind of a bad attitude
and that's more of a turn off, like, than the the physical then a physical thing. What's their attitude like? Oh, well just like I don't want to be here or too a
Lou for not friendly or whatever that doesn't happen very often
I have to say but there are there have been a few instances of that and that's not comfortable because you're gonna be having sex with that person for hours
Literally I was an important set once like hours like at first you're gonna be having sex with that person for hours. Right. Exactly. Literally. I was an important set once. Like hours. Like at first you're like,
oh my god, they're resex and then you're like, oh my god, they're still having sex for
hours. I'm hungry. So I'm gonna come already or what's gonna happen.
Totally. But so do you, how have you, how does it affect your sex life? Like do you feel
like, how long have you been doing adult films? Four years now, four and a half years.
And has it changed your attitude towards sex like when you're with someone that you like
a partner or something?
Yeah.
If you're with someone that you like, I'll count.
Yes, I'll tell you how it's changed in a really awesome way actually.
So like, okay, maybe you can relate to this.
Have you ever been somewhere and like some dude walks Walks into the bar or wherever you are and he's like totally sort of jacked and he has that like
Sociedily handsome like good looks and all that kind of stuff. Now before I was important
I would like react to that. I'd be like who's that? I would like what they call prairie doggy where you sort of like stick in
Like look around now
I have no reaction to it at all
because I get paid to have sex with people that look like that. So now I actually know who I'm really attracted to.
Like all that societal stuff is out of the way. So it's changed to your, so what kind of guys are you attracted to?
I like all sorts of guys. I don't really have a type. There are certain features that I sometimes find myself as
attracted to. Like I like when God's my little ch chubby I know you were saying men is sorry men is
Yeah, he's a chubby but he's losing weight right now. What do you think's men is?
Yeah, men is don't lose that way
I like you know big ears that stick out. I kind of like that
Someone is like a little goofy like I kind of like that not goofy the character
Not the classically good looking.
Yeah, exactly.
So did you have to learn like other,
like have you always just been really good at sex?
Or did you learn different tips,
like different positions, things to be important?
Yeah, well, I mean, being good at sex
is not the same as being good at porn.
I mean, you should be good at sex.
Exactly.
But it's, and people don't, I think you know,
it's like people don't necessarily make you know it's like people don't
Necessarily make that connection that being in perform in porn is performative and so like it's actually kind of athletic It's not mechanical. It's like being able to play a sport really well
It's like I'm gonna get my body to do this thing and think about it and not think about it at the same time
I'm just gonna perform show up and do my best. That's what porn is like. It's like playing sports
Right. Yeah,, that makes sense.
So that's different skills than being good at sex,
but I'm pretty good at sex.
Yeah, that came back from that too much.
How do you even try out for porn?
Do they just have you on the set and then just do it,
and then they see if they like you, and they?
Yeah, I mean, you send in, often you just send in applications,
or I mean, sometimes people are discovered,
like that's sort of what people think happens,
but usually more often than not now,
people send in applications,
which I think is really cool because it sort of gets rid
of that image of people just sort of falling into porn
or being sucked in or whatever.
It's like now, for the most part, if you're in it,
it's because you wanted to be in it, you applied,
you like sent off the information, you really tried for it.
You know?
That makes sense.
So what do you think about porn? Like you really tried for it, you know. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah.
So what do you think about porn?
Like you were saying that it's not, I mean, what kind of I was thinking about it being
what have you learned about sex?
I don't think that porn is the best place for people to learn about sex.
I always say that, that a lot of people watch, a lot of kids see on kids today, that's their
first entry into sex is watching porn.
And I feel like a lot of times right, you're doing a shot because it visually looks pleasing on camera,
but maybe it's not a position that necessarily feels good or.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, is this same in gay porn, you think?
Yeah, I mean, I think just for all porn,
like you shouldn't hold yourself up to the standard of porn.
Right.
People do, though.
Yeah, totally.
And that's messed up, but you can learn a lot from porn.
You can get inspiration from it.
You can get turned on by it.
You can try, think of new positions and all that kind of stuff.
But to think, to hold yourself up to the standard of it is wrong.
Because we spend hours and hours to make, you know,
20-minute scene.
So like, you don't see all the work that goes into it.
Right.
Positioning all that kind of stuff.
I mean, if you did that in real life every time you had sex,
you'd be really bored.
It's really bored and exhausted.
Yeah, totally.
Sleeping all the time.
That's so true.
What do you think about a lot of straight women
like in gay porn?
Yeah.
What is that?
What do you think that's about?
So interesting to me.
That just came up.
I just did a new now-next show on that
with a female gay porn director,
so I asked her some help.
And we sort of just came up with the fact that it's like, when we watch porn, it's not
that we want to see the kind of sex that we're having.
It's like certain visual cues like turn us on.
Like, you know how like certain spaces can turn you on or like someone dressed as like
in a police officer's outfit, can turn someone on or like a classroom
like when you're, because it's like relating to being turned
on as like a horny teenager or whatever.
So it's like when we watch porn, it's kind of the same thing.
So I think for women when they see two guys getting it on,
there's like some sort of cue there for them.
That's what I mean, guys who are listening,
straight guys who are listening,
it's like you watch two chicks have that.
Two chicks, right, same thing, right?
In a way, that's what they like,
a lot of guys watching it.
So I was in for a lot of our women listeners,
our female listeners, and our male listeners
who can write in and disagree if you don't agree with him.
But I'd love to hear some oral sex tips.
Menace has this theory on the show
that whenever I give oral sex tips,
having performed better oral sex than a man,
he's like, only a gay man's gonna know that
because you don't know because you don't have a penis.
That's what he says to me.
So while you say it, you're like top three tips
for performing good oral sex on the guy.
Top three tips, wow, okay.
So I think first is, I mean, guys love to be deep-throated. Like that's
just totally. So learn how to relax your throat. I mean, this is like that.
I learned what do you exercise? Yeah, you just do that classic. Usually,
gag reflexes more, I think, psychological. You know, it's like you get anxious about
choking. So you, but so you just teach yourself to think about it differently
as you're doing it, like you just breathe through your nose, you make sure you're breathed,
yeah. So breathe as you get that all the way down your throat. Okay. I think the other
thing is, every guy is, every guy has a different part of like sensitivity like a different part of his
penis is more sensitive. It's true right every guy like some people are like the
tips, some people like the rim, the perennium, I mean the not the perennium, well
and the perennium, the um, frenulum, um, anyway, or even like even some guys like
having their balls like or like they're like more than they like having
getting had. So I mean I would say just pay attention to that.
Like that's a huge tip that people like talk about the mechanics of oral sex
but I think actually just paying attention to the response that you're getting from your partner.
You have to pay attention.
Right, that is such a great tip.
And we always talk about that in the show how you just find yourself doing things
that we're so in our own head like trying to figure out am I doing this right?
I'm gonna do this right, but we're not paying attention to our partners.
Like this one way, three, and you should pay attention, like, are they happy?
You're like breathing?
Are they like, look excited?
Are you?
Yeah, and they're scrolling in pain, do you even know?
Are they screaming?
Yeah, and I think like, because some guys like, if you suck on the head of their penis, it's
so sensitive that they can't stand it.
And other guys, they don't have as much feeling there.
So you want to find where they're the most sensitive.
Yeah, totally listen to them.
And I think that if you try to kiss everybody the same way,
it's not going to go down.
No, it's not.
You have to do it some one half way.
Right.
Because it's about their pleasure and your.
Exactly.
So that's tip number two.
Right.
Tip number two.
Tip number three. And sorry number three. Sorry for all this
body here, but I figured I know. Um, I mean, I think it's pretty simple as don't forget the balls,
you know, but don't don't forget the family jewels, right? Yeah, but don't, but don't suck on them
too hard like you're trying to, you know, because again, you don't know how sensitive your partner
or you're not there. Right. We have another tip though that's even better.
Give me four! Give me ten!
I love it! I just want to go on a world-suff step marathon, which is when you're
sucking, don't just like put it in your mouth, like actually suck on it, like as if
you were suck, like if you stick your thumb in your mouth and suck on your thumb,
like that's why it's called sucking, it's not just called like putting it in your mouth,
like actually like suck on it and that creates some pressure and some friction, Okay, like that's why it's called sucking. It's not just called like putting in your mouth like right actually let
Like suck on it and that creates some pressure and some friction
But it's all lubed up because it's your spit is there so that feels really really good
And while you're doing that you can move your tongue around
Yes, yes, the tongue move around. Yeah, that's a good one. And what about hands?
I am for myself. I prefer hands-free both
I am for myself. I prefer hands-free, both getting hands receiving. But some guys usually like the hand. Now the thing is I think guys that like the hand are often, their partner,
isn't sucking hard enough when they have it in their mouth. So like the hand compensates
for the lack of pressure. Oh, so if you sucked hard enough and you won't, you're kind of falling
back on your hand. Yes, totally. It's sort of a cop-out. For me, it's a little bit, but I actually think that like to bring somebody to orgasm,
a lot of times you need to use your hands.
Yes, yes.
Okay, those are good tips.
Yeah.
I appreciate it.
No problem.
Okay, that's awesome.
And then I was going to ask you, okay, so you also answer sex questions as I do for logo.
Yeah, so there are new now next websites.
New now next websites.
So what are the common sex questions that you get asked?
Common sex questions.
So I get a lot of stuff about people, I get lots and lots of questions about what it means
when someone doesn't want to have sex with you, rejection, about anxiety about sort of feeling abandoned
by your partner, that kind of stuff.
Do you get along?
Yeah, I do.
I do anxiety about being abandoned.
They're afraid someone's gonna leave them.
Yes.
Yeah, I get some of those, yeah.
But also, what does it mean when someone doesn't
want to have sex with me?
What does it mean when I don't want to have sex with them?
Because people think that we're supposed to be on all the time and it's just it's just not true.
And also like we're not we don't have to like every single moment of every
sex act like it's not going to be totally perfect all the time and once you let
go of that makes a lot more enjoyable. Right absolutely. Yeah that's a good point
that's a good point. I get asked about orgasm.
Usually it's, it's usually like a lot of men,
I would say lately, or it goes in trends.
I mean, there's trends in our emails for some reason.
I don't really think what's going on in the ether,
but like a lot of men are like,
why won't my wife have sex with me?
Yeah.
Or why won't, so it's sort of the same thing.
Why won't this person have sex with anymore?
And I think it's like mismatch,
subitos, things change, you get older hormones, all those things.
So there's so many different reasons.
There's a lot of people not having sex.
Yeah, it's very sad.
It's very sad.
We're feeling bad, or maybe feeling bad about not getting sex and maybe like pronouncing it
a little bit more than it is, you know what I mean?
And I think like, something I get a lot is,
why won't my partner initiate sex?
Right.
And I've tried to answer that and it's like,
well, why do you want your partner to be the one
and actually, was that same about you?
Exactly.
You're insecure and feeling like you're the one
who's always doing it, why aren't they doing it?
Yeah, I've gotten that too.
I've gotten that from men who are like,
you don't initiate, but I'm like,
well, because you always do.
So it's good, it's fine.
But then people want to feel needed
and they want to feel like you want them
just as much as they want you.
And then I get it.
Yeah, totally.
And I think you are in a little bit
of a different position.
I try not to answer or actual sexual health questions
because I'm not a sexual health practitioner or whatever that, whatever
the actual title would be.
So I always try to answer questions that are about perspectives, about sex, about what
you're thinking about when you're in the bedroom, what your feelings are like when it comes
to love and sex and that sort of stuff.
Yeah, that's important.
Those questions don't get answered enough, I don't think.
No, right.
Yeah.
There are a lot of people people are just confused by it.
And yeah, that's good that you focus on that section.
Well, I guess I focus on a little bit of everything.
Yeah, you do everything.
I guess so, yeah.
You're very promiscuous.
Right, promiscuous.
I am so promiscuous.
Now that I'm here in LA, no, I haven't done anything.
OK, OK, I want to look at one of your essays.
You're a prolific writer. you've written a lot of stuff.
What's your website real quick?
People can find you.
So the website for my writing is just
Connor, bebe.wordpress.com.
So that's the,
that's the, we'll have that on my website as well.
Okay, sexwithemily.com is where you should all go
and check it out.
Talk to you about cruising rest areas.
Did you cruise with yourself?
Yep, that's that whole essay for Solon, which is awesome.
Is that like a known thing?
Does that still happen?
People are...
Oh yeah, totally.
So that, yeah, so that's in Best Sex writing 2013.
And that essay caused kind of a shit story.
Really good for you.
I wrote it for Solon and people freaked out
because there's this long tradition. I mean, there's been going on forever of like gay men meeting at rescueries in public places and having sex and it stems back to
Tom when gay people couldn't just have sex in their homes, so they went out
But this sort of cultural holdover and so I wrote this as the about like well, what might be good about this?
Instead of just thinking that's gross. That's screwed up like what are the sort of
What can we empathize with? Not to say it's right or wrong, but what can we see in this that might tell us what it's like to be sexual people and sexual
human beings? And what did you, what did you conclude with it?
Well, I think a lot of it has to do with the sort of honesty of an encounter. It's like,
okay, so men have this huge desire to abstract all the time.
Right.
Like a lot of men, not all men.
But so, something a lot of the way society works is that sex isn't provided for them as
much as they need it, as much as they want it.
And so these, these rest areas, at least for men who are comfortable having sex with other
men, I wouldn't say they all identify as B.K.
They don't, right? There's a lot of people on the wedding range, all that kind of stuff.
Oh, down?
So, down though, that's right.
So, you show up and you show up, you meet someone in the middle of the woods or you meet someone in the place, literally.
And you have sex with them and then you go back to your life.
And so, I think that those kinds of areas, those kinds of
spaces, those places where people meet and have sex and then go their separate ways, there's
something really honest about that in a weird way. It's like, I mean, in some sense it's dishonest
because those people are deceiving their wives. Right, right. You're not being honest in
themselves. I'm not being honest in themselves. I'm only showing first, yeah. Right, but the encounter
itself is really honest and it's like, I don't necessarily advocate having sex at rest areas
It can be fun, but I think like that kind of honesty about I'm here because I want you
You're here because you want me we want sex. We have this need we have this desire
Let's do something about that could really bring something
But it's like strangers like you pull up and there's a guy
It's that's got the gay community so different like that
Different you pull up like we don't need any whining and dining. You don't need any for play. Yeah, like we're doing this
Valentine's day contest like the 14 days of for play we're giving away stuff
We talk about for play and nauseam on the show because it's important but not for gay men as much no no and I think
Not that it's not ever important, but really not.
It's important for sure, but it's not...
There's also the understanding that sex...
That sex was someone that you don't know very well,
at least for right now, that's still like, that's okay.
And when people are going through the whole HIV thing,
like there was an epidemic that, you know,
it was dimmed a bit in the United States at least.
It's like they did still kept happening, but it was like, but be safe about it.
And so that so changed in that way.
Now with gay marriage and now that gay relationships are getting a little more sort of standardized,
it'll be interesting to see which way it goes.
Exactly.
I think so too.
What about monogamy in the gay community? community I think it's I know I get a
lot of crap for this yeah I think it's impossible I think it's impossible I think it's
impossible being a heterosexual I think it's almost impossible being a heterosexual but you have so much
social pressure to do it exactly it keeps it's of like, it's sort of like smoking pot.
It's like everybody wants to do it, right?
Well, not everybody, I don't smoke pot,
but a lot of people want to do it.
And people do it anyway,
even though there are laws in place, not in California.
Laws in place to tell you can't do it.
But there are some people that will not do it
because of the laws.
But mostly that's not the case.
I think the same thing for monogamy and straight people,
it's like, straight people don't really love monogamy. It's like it's torturous in a lot of
ways. Yes. But I think the social structure sort of keep it in place for you guys. We don't
have that as much. So it's even less common. And then the people who think they're being
monogamous, I read all these sociological studies that said, no, they thought they were,
but actually one partner was not being an option.
Right, it's always like that.
So how do you, why do they even agree to it then?
You think a lot of the gay couples
is because they feel like they've society or they don't.
I think people don't like to, I mean, in general,
the same thing for street people.
We don't like to face the things
that we're doing in a compulsive way.
It's like, I think Menonmi is great
if you've made a real intentional decision
to be a Menonomi.
And I think open relationships are great
if you made an intentional decision to be in it.
But most people are Menonomi's
because they're afraid they're gonna lose their partner
and most people are open because they're afraid of commitment.
Exactly.
So we shouldn't be doing things out of fear.
We should be doing the things that we actually want.
Exactly.
Like you should know judgment on it.
Like you should just do what you want to do.
Like I've been toying with like I have been
in committed relationships, but I never,
it never has felt right for me personally.
Yeah.
I've done it for a while, but then I'm like,
I don't want to be a thorn person.
Yeah.
I think I should be gay man in my next life or something.
Well, maybe in my previous life.
Yeah, well, you kind of are.
I think that the pressure on a woman to be an augments
is insane.
I can't even, I mean, with a guy, it's like, well, guys,
cheat, but the attitude about women being an augments,
I cannot even understand how much pressure women must face.
And then if someone says something like you're saying,
you're sort of branded as like, well, she's not
relationship-shouldn't-it-all.
She's not somebody I should be.
Totally.
I'm not relationship with tarot, everyone
if any of you listening.
I'm definitely not relationship with tarot.
She definitely is, you just have to appreciate her
for who she is.
Exactly, that's exactly it.
So tell me about your book, everything you're not
supposed to know about sex.
What am I not supposed to know?
I thought I knew everything.
Yeah, well that's the working title for my book that
comes out next year.
OK.
From disinformation. And this is actually the first announcement I'm making.
Oh my god!
I'm so excited!
Just got the DLL sealed and everything.
So that book is about sort of cultural and historical stuff that you've never heard about
sex and that you don't know.
So it's not just stuff you could just look up on the internet.
Right.
You'd have to do some scholarly work, which is what I'm doing to find it out. Like, why do
people demonize masturbation? Where does that come from? Well, we just assume it's the
church, but actually it has a much weirder origin. Oh, really? Yeah, which, and there's a chapter
about this guy who's friends with Abraham Lincoln, who is in all this sex occult practices and
stuff like that. That's not, uh, that's public record. It's not like some conspiracy theory.
Right. Right. What is the most search for a porn turn in the world?
What is it? What is it? Oh, you'll be, I'll tell you this one. Okay.
Because it's in somebody else's books. I'm just taking that as a yes.
Gay, so either single, single most search for a term.
It's either fisting or rimming. No. For all porn. And I don't know. What do you mean
all porn people search for mom? So, so, so, Milf porn. But the, so Milf porn is the highest
search for porn. But this term mom and porn, like they're searched for together like more than anything.
So if you want to see moms like basically they want to see older women having sex, that's
what's going on right now and like a problem.
Really?
Totally crazy.
Well it's funny because I was just at the sex convention last week and they were giving
awards, it was the ex-biz awards.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they had the milk that after a C1 who was like milk of the year and I was laughing so hard I was like okay there's like categor everything I
did not know that yeah so there's there was all this research done on that by
these two guys and and I'm doing them a disservice by citing the research and
not remembering the name of the book but I think it's a billion wicked thoughts
is the name of the book I might be a little off in that but the one it think it's a billion wicked thoughts is the name of the book. I might be a little off of that, but the one, it's, it's Kadam G-A-D-D-D-A-N and Ogis O-G-A-S.
So they're the name so you can look it up.
But they did all this like research on internet searches for porn.
And so that's to collect information about sex.
Right, that's so interesting.
Where do you get all your materials for research and stuff?
Just a lion or?
No, no, I read like 700 page books, yeah.
Oh my god.
So I'm just, I'm deep in the work, you know, because a lot of it's, you know, I don't
want to just do stuff that you can fund in the internet.
It's not fun for me then.
Why would you buy a book?
Right, no, that's true.
That's true.
I'm doing this for school and getting my doctor in March.
And I've got like a stack of books over there that are like 700 pages.
Yeah, yeah.
Hard to get through.
They're hard.
They're mind-em-ing.
But it's important.
It's mind-em-ing, but it's like the real like sex stuff, like where it's happening.
It's the real work for sure.
It's not.
It's not just what you can look about like a pediat.
Exactly.
Okay.
Okay, so coming up, you're speaking at the Momo.
Yeah.
I'm speaking at Momo PS1 on January 27th.
In New York. In New York?
In New York City.
OK.
So there's an event.
It was just there's this big profile on me
in this magazine called The Dune.
And they have an event at Momo.
And so I'm one of the speakers there.
And so I think it's going to be awesome.
What are you going to talk about?
I don't know yet.
I think I'm going gonna talk about sex and spirituality
because that's big.
But it's a mirror, so how so is this picture?
Like what do you mean sex?
I mean I know what sex and spirituality is.
How does it with you?
Well for me it's not like when most people say
that they mean like the Kundalini or the pharmaceutical,
I'm not interested in that.
I'm sort of interested in more in my.
We're kind of true.
Yeah, yeah.
And I think that stuff is cool, but it's kind of been done.
Right.
So for me, it's like, how does sex intersect with different spiritual traditions, different
religions, that kind of stuff, and what can it tell us about the human spirit?
Basically, that's interesting.
Oh, that's really interesting.
Yeah.
Oh, okay. I love it. That's what you should talk about. I think that's interesting. Oh that's really interesting. Oh okay I love it. So you should talk about I think that's interesting. Well thank you is there anything else that
you would like to add that we've not hit on. I'm trying to think we uh cover a lot. We have to
take a quick break from talk to our sponsors. Talk about our sponsors like Promescent for example.
Okay Promescent is blowing up okay. Promescent I've been talking about it for about a year now.
It is the only FDA-approved treatment
for premature ejaculation.
But not only that, even if you're like,
well, I last long enough in bed,
there is an orgasm gap between men and women.
Have you ever noticed that it takes your partner
a little longer to orgasm in the year?
Sucks.
Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, right, man.
See, you got to do it.
The guys are like doing everything they can to hold it in.
Yeah, they're like, what can, right? Right, exactly. And you're like thinking of baseball, you're thinking of, right, man. So you got to do that. The guys are like doing everything they can to hold it in. Yeah, they're like, what can I write?
Right, exactly.
And you're like thinking of baseball,
and you're thinking of like,
and with their furry mustache,
per messin' is the thing you can use
that it has no side effects at all.
You put it on five minutes before sex,
and it's a quickly absorbing delay spray.
And you just put on your penis,
doesn't transfer your partner,
helps you last twice as long as usually last. So if you last 10 minutes or last 20 for last four
or last eight, there's thousands of your relatives recommending promising the only
FDA approved treatment for pre-mature ejaculation. So check out promising it's PROMESCENT.com, check
it, check it.
Enjoy it.
Have some awesome sex.
And then I got another thing to talk to you about real quick
before you go is mask.
So the list,
Drain strips, I wish I had one on me,
but they're like list, Drain strips.
But here's my question for you.
As a porn star,
would you ever,
is there ever anyone's semen or penis
that you don't like the taste of?
Well, we don't really do that.
Well, it's becoming more common, but the porn idea is common.
It's common, it's a conum.
So we don't, I mean, we don't use condoms for all sex, but we don't do a lot of oral
conch.
Right, right, right.
But we've been starting to do that venture out in that area of the world.
You can try some.
So yeah, so is there anybody who's taste I don't like?
Has it ever happened to you historically?
Yeah, sometimes if people eat like a lot of
jalapeno pepper.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, they're just super pie and pie and apple.
There's all these things, but these strips you put in your tongue
and they come in for flavors.
And so it masks the taste of semen, like some we made.
Oh, in your mouth.
Got it.
You put it in your tongue and you don't like,
so then it's like the next time you form a little sex
and a guy it'll taste like a milkshake or something. I think that's awesome because if there's something I
Guys like to come in people's mouths
Yes, they do
That's just because like there's some sort of like gross factor because the weird thing about sex is like if you think about any of it
It can all be gross if you want if you think about it
Yeah, so I to get into it. And I don't care about seeming, I've
never had you seeming, I've never like kicked any seeming out of my bed. But, but, but,
but it's some women like, for example, and I'm sure there's a man who like will not
perform or all sex because they don't like to taste. So anyway, that's one of those
things. So that's, well, we got time for today, Conor. Thank you so much for being on
the show. So awesome. And it's so great to be here.
Oh my god, it's so fun.
And you can find all your information.
You can give it your website again,
but we'll also have it at sexazelly.com.
Okay, great.
And my show is on new now, Nax.
So if you want to see that.
New now, Nax.
Okay.
Yep.
And you got your show and then Twitter.
Do you do Twitter or do you?
I do Twitter.
It's just at Conner, Habeed.
And I love talking to people through Twitter. I love Twitter so much because it's introduced me. It's so many great people. Oh cool. Yeah, just I love it.
Okay, good. Follow you in there and then you can follow me. Sex with Emily on Twitter. It's at
Sex with Emily Facebook is a sex at least my page. You can also email me, yeah. So everyone, thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.
Okay, everyone.
Speaking of candles, I was talking about it early
on my new Pumpkin Spice Lotter candles coming out.
No, really, Emily and Tony, I make these massage candles,
okay?
I've been talking about them for about a year.
And I feel like I might not have always done a great job
of explaining them because you let people don't know what a massage candle is. And so feel like I probably not always in a great job of explaining them because a lot of people don't know
what a massage candle is.
And so I gotta explain it to you
because it's the kind of thing
that you really need to experience
and people freak out once they try them.
It just looks like a regular beautiful candle
that you'd have on your, you know,
you can light a dinner, you can light a
for atmosphere, you could have it next
to your bed.
It smells amazing, aroma therapy,
gets you in the mood. But what happens is, aroma therapy, gets you in the mood.
But what happens is, it actually, when you blow out the candle,
it turns into the most luxurious massage oil.
It's not hot, it's not waxy, it's not sticky,
it's not gonna burn your partner,
but you can give them a luxurious massage,
and it really hydrates your skin,
it's made of coconut oil and soybean oil,
and it feels amazing.
And people even told me that it's improved their sex life
because it's like something new to try in the bedroom.
Massage is always a great gateway for sex
and I had a reader say to me that email me and said,
my girlfriend was skeptical at first
but agreed to try the warm oil on me.
First, and gave me a back-up.
Then I was deprecated and we had amazing
sex. She could not stop talking about how good the candle smells and how great the massage
oil feels. I'm convinced that the scent and the candle helped us through some of the barriers
to sex that we face lately. Okay, guys, so I created these candles so you can have the best
sex of your life. So check it out. Go to emilyantowny.com, use code emily and you get 20% off your
first purchase and you'll love them.
So check it out, go to emilyintonetonet.com, use code emily and you get 20% off your first
purchase and you'll love them.