Sex With Emily - Sex Talk with the Bachelors in Paradise

Episode Date: August 19, 2017

Everyone’s heard them talk about their search for love, but what about sex? On today’s show, Emily is joined by Vinny Ventiera and Daniel Maguire from The Bachelor in Paradise for some incredibly candid sex talk!   These guys aren’t afraid to talk about everything and anything– from dating to sex, masturbation to oral, and foreplay to anal. What are guys and girls turn-ons and turn-offs? What are some new tricks to go down on a girl? Why should you use lube? Emily and the guys cover all of these topics and more, plus they have a live lube taste test! Don’t miss out! Thanks for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: UVee, Intensity, Magic Wand, System JO Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily on Today's show, Daniel McGuire and Vinny Ventiera. You may know them from the Bachelor at Season 12 with JoJo Fletcher or Bachelor in Paradise Season 3 and 4, and we cover a lot, including how to relax or when you're going down in her, the importance of hygiene, especially during anal sex, and why you should just cut to the chase and ask her out already. And we have a live, loob taste test. All this and more. Thanks for listening. Call them in a bag on me. Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand.

Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my god.

I'm so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithedled.com. You can check out everything going on our website. You can subscribe to the podcast. We love when you subscribe.

We love when you review us on iTunes. It's amazing. You can also find us on I Heart Radio. You can find us on Spotify, SoundCloud, Google Play, and thank you everyone for just emailing us and being part of the show. And welcome to Alternative August, big month for us here at Sex with Emily, and you can join the fun. Because alternative sex you guys, it's not as complicated as you think.

You're probably thinking of it like you got it build like a dungeon or a bedroom of pain, and I am not saying that. I'm saying just try one thing this month that's outside a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm a painter, I'm which a lot of people don't even know how to talk about sex. We're picking four winners, email me by August 31st, feedback at sexwithemily.com. I'll turn to August. Welcome, my guest. Did you guys know his alternative August? No, no.

Oh my God, you guys are great to talk to, excited to talk to you about alternative August. I've got Daniel McGuire and Vinnie Ventira. Ventira? Yeah, Ventira, that's it. Yeah, you got it. Ventira. Ventira.

Okay, Ventira. It's all good. Can I ask how you've been? Yeah, it's Vinnie Yeah, you got it. Ventura. Ventura. Okay, Ventura. It's all good. Can I ask how you've been? Yeah, it's been. Dana, but you guys are the man. You guys, there are bachelor's and paradise, and on the bachelor's, first of all, you're both on the bachelor's at the same season, so it became like bros, best BFFs, right? Yeah, well, bro man's.

Now you have the bro man's going. Couple pals is hanging out. Piles hanging out, right? That's good. Bro man's makes you feel like, dude, can we just be friends? I get it. I get it. And now they're a bachelor and paradise. You guys hanging out. Right, that's good. Bromance makes you feel like, dude, can't wait to be friends. I get it. I get it. And now they're a bachelor in paradise.

You guys were on it before. Lessons are second in season. Yeah, we're on this season that's very young. That feels good, right? Coming back. Like they could say, like, hi, no thanks. Right. When you're hot, you're hot, you know?

Yeah. You guys are hot. They're really cute. You've got to check it out on the website and all that. Snapchat. We're off of an Instagram. You guys are really cute. You are. You check it out on the website and all that snapchat. We're off on Instagram You guys are really cute. You are. Thank you so you're special. Thank you I'm excited that you're here because I've been following you as watching your show your patty stinger episode too because you guys got fixed up and I feel like you I mean your job right now is basically dating right you mean you're out there finding women It seems like that, huh? It seems like that. We've been on a dating show, you kind of, yeah?

Our job is to be single, not single. Our job is to, I don't know, entertain. No, so it was entertaining, but I have a question. Let's back up. We're gonna get to Patty and Dominic. That was intense being on her show. I know how that goes down, but when you guys started out, you started on the Bachelor, where you're like,

huh, maybe I could find some love. What was your motivation? Well, were you like, huh? Like, maybe I could find some love. Like, what were you thinking? What was your motivation? Um, well, I got asked to go on it. So I was like, yeah, why not? You know, I had no idea who the girl was, but I knew the chances were great. You know, with one girl and 25 guys. I mean, it's, and the girl that was there is not like it's a girl I'm potentially looking for as in like the type of girl. It's just a random girl. It's not like ex-a-f-y. If it was, for example, let's say we did a survey on ex-a-f-y what type of girl I'll look for.

And then they narrow that down to like one awesome girl, like my dream girl. And so I'm still trying to go for her, but. But you weren't even feeling it when you saw it. Well, I just, it's just a random girl. Yeah, I didn't know I'd do what she was. Right. She was fine.

Okay. So it was a good experience though. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, overall it's still a good girl. Yeah, I don't know what I do. I do what she is. She's fine. Okay. So it was a good experience though. Oh, yeah. Of course. Yeah. Overall, it's still a good experience. Paradise is better because you get more girls.

Like that's like spring break. I mean, there's like, what? You guys just going there and they're like, have sex, strain, and have fun. Yeah, it's not as much as you might think. Not as much sex. You can get like that. It just depends on the crew that's there.

Right. That's better for you just because, yeah, you've more to choose from because, right, when you go on the bathroom, there's one woman and you've all these women that you can choose from so I'm wondering like what have you guys from watching yourself? What have you learned about yourself first like dating? But help you figure out more yeah, well It's interesting because we are in a television show so that gives us also chance to watch it You know, so like you're not really every day where you can go on a date with somebody kiss somebody be romantic with somebody and

Watch it back So now you kind of see like oh, I should have been a little more aggressive in this conversation. I should have talked about this a little more. So that is a good thing for us. You know, that is something we have an advantage, I guess, from other people. Yeah, it's like when you're taking a show, you can see your own work. Totally. Like if you're taking a public speaking class, then like watch yourself on tape. Like do you feel like you've learned subdanny? Yeah, so when I'm watching myself back, and I see how I'm talking and interacting,

it's just thought about this right now, that I act obviously different with girls who I like. Right. And so you're obviously, you know, you're gonna be maybe more romantic, more flirtatious, nicer, with a girl you like, with a girl you know like as much, you can be, you can goof around more and whatever, like for example last season with Ashley I,

I was interested here and I didn't really even want to go on a date, but you know, I just thought why not. So I just kind of had fun with it. It was more like a friend thing. So me, myself, I see I interact when I'm with someone I like or I don't like. And yet there hasn't been anyone yet where I like, I'm truly head over heels and I really, really like her. So, I mean, you'd see that side of me if I was saying.

Well, how are you different than when you're head over heels? When I'm really, when I really like a girl, I'm just more, just all my good qualities come out, you know? Cause when you meet a girl that, you know, you don't not attracted with, you're gonna be just more like, you're a talker like as a buddy, you know, as a friend. And you can't put your best foot for it on every single person, you

know, it just takes you from me. Yeah. Okay. Got it. I got it. Okay. So you guys, I watched you on Patty Sanger and the Bachelor in Paradise and all that. And so how you know Patty, she sets you up. You guys were both fixed up. I thought that was great, by the way. And I think it will be great to set you guys up for a future because you guys get along, you're making chicks. So Daniel, you went on the date and the woman was like, he was like, I, I don't sweat on this show, it's a show lot, but I effing me.

Right, like she was checking out my body the whole time. Like you're really interested in the physicality. Well, I was checking her out. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I was checking her out. And just, yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie. Okay, okay, but and just, yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie. Okay, but it just looks, is obviously first important, but 90% of his personality, you know,

I just, obviously first wanna be attracted to the girl. Right. And you know, she has her boobs hanging on. It's gonna be hard not to stare at it sometimes. Right, got it, but right, but don't you think so? Okay, right, because that was the first thing you said you should compliment her and then you compliment her, but.

But the thing is, it's funny, no, no, no, no, that's not it, I didn't. I get it, I was at the show. Yeah, you should compliment her and then you compliment that. But the thing is, it's funny, no, no, no, that's not anything. I get it, I was at the show. I did that. Because Patty was like, give me 20 compliments of what the girl, I'm like, 20, so I know the girl. So obviously a lot of this could be just on looks, right?

Cause you don't know her personality. So you can't just go, you know what I mean? And then it's obviously, you know, I'm gonna be like nice hair, nice eyes, nice dimples, nice. Yeah, and you're at a places, you're like a nice cleavage. Exactly, that's what it was. It's very specific.

It's good to be specific in your comfort. You're like nice crap. Yeah, you're like nice cleavage. Exactly, so. You're a nice nipple. Exactly. I was being somewhat politically correct, you know? Right, somewhat.

Yeah, that's good. So Vinny, you were like too nice. That's your thing. Yeah, I guess that's your thing. And I feel for you, because like, first of all, you're really good, you're both really good looking. You know that, like I didn't need to tell you that. Thank you. But. And I feel for you, because like, first of all, you're really good, you're both really good looking. You know that, like I didn't need to tell you that. But this nice guy thing,

like, is it kinda piss you off? You're like, fuck you, because you know what, there I am sorry now. You guys are bringing out of me. Are you kinda like, you know what, so what, like, can't you go out? No, that doesn't bother me at all. It doesn't bother me at all.

I mean, I've gotten, I've gotten this far in my life, you know, I'm happy with my, my status. Well, let's listen, again, this comes back to TV and editing. He's a nice guy, but he's not that nice. Like he's not like what they pitch him out to me. He's TV, you know? Exactly.

They have to make a story. And we're in that LNL, so we don't have to keep calling that out. No, it's true. I know I get it. I get that it's a lot of, a lot. But I mean, I don't mind it. I mean, I don't mind being the nice guy. Right.

No, I don't think so either. I'm just saying like if you guys have, because now you're going, what's next? Well, you're on the show, you can't tell me exactly what happens right because it hasn't aired yet. But do you, I mean, you guys looking for love right now, or do you want to find someone? I think from me, I'm going to point my career where I'm kind of getting to the top of the hill

where I'm pretty happy where things are going, it's hard. And that is the number one thing with my relationships. I travel a lot and I'm not home and then it turns into like a game of ketchup. Like where are you? Like what are you doing? And then it just starts being annoying

and then it just turns me into a negative person. Which I shouldn't be. But I mean, I give a girl that I did every right to want to know what I'm doing. But I'm just kind of at the time of my life where it's hard to do that. Because I'm following my goal. Yeah, I'm following my goal.

Yeah, DJs are the, I'm sorry, but they're, I think they're not great guys. Right. And I, and I, I tell my friends that I'm like, sleep with a DJ, totally hook up with a DJ. Yeah. But you can't date a DJ. No, that's what sucks.

I mean, because you're on the road, be a lot of girls. I'm on the road, but God, there's like girls like foray out and like, well, he didn't come home. Of course he did his DJ. He's never gonna come home. Yeah, I'm different. For nine years,, sure you are. And eventually, yes, but what about just being single, but dating right now?

Like, what about that? I know on the show, you have to be like, I'm looking for love. But come on, Bachelor of Paradise, you've 18 days to fall in love. Well, not this season. It's shorter. Right. Exactly. Even the rest of your point. Yes. So, and I get that's all TV. But let's talk about you guys in the real Daniel and Vity in real life I mean your late 20s 39 right okay, right. This is a big time

So I feel like and your careers are taking on all these girls you're gonna have more girls right now You really what do you when at the dating process like it's to be honest? It is super hard because you know like we're both on the road Lots we both however we both have Girls choose, you know, like, we're both on the road lots. We both have, we both have girls choose from, you know, it's hard to settle down sometimes because, you know, this one comes up and this one comes up or whatever. I want to read your text, like your last text. Oh, God, I'll show you my DM. They're crazy. I was going to say your DMs.

Yes. You could be picky sometimes and, and, you know, I'm happy alone and it's all been so minute. Like, I'm content. I don't want to show you the ones I didn't open. Yeah. I don't open to me's all been so many. Like I'm content. I'm sure the ones I didn't open. I don't open to me, they're I get dick pics. I block you all, you guys I block you and you say you dick pics.

I block the dick pics too. You do? You guys are cute, but I get both. Wait, but here's my question though, you were saying before the show, wait, and we were just getting the mice going, but that women now you think more so than before, now that you're famous and they've seen your body

and your abs on TV that they're nervous when they hook up with you. Or they think they should act a certain way because I get that too with guys, that's section. We can tell, we have a good read on it. We can tell who's faking it. Or can you tell if a girl's intimidated or scared or anything? Like sexually, not just when you meet them,

but like, were you saying like in bed they were? Sometimes they can meet a girl who just feels a little bit shy, but other ones, you know, they're just like animals. Really? Okay, so tell me about the animals. Like what's... Mine are actually pretty positive, my DM. Don't have to read the name.

I won't read the name. Okay, this is amazing. This happens a lot, I mean, for both of us. Okay, so this is Vinny's DM. It's actually a message on Facebook. Facebook. I get a lot of these, you know, I mean, it's, I appreciate it though. That's all good stuff.

Okay, so, so this is gonna seem insane Vinnie. I've watched you on TV and it's crazy to my sound. I think you would be perfect for my daughter. She's the most beautiful, amazing person I've ever known. It's her daughter. That's good. She's a good mom. She listens to Chicago, does hair, it's just beautiful inside and out. I think this is how you seem as well. We were actually talking about you And she said she matched you on bumble Oh, you're this close. You're like I have a I have a but I've never like I'm afraid to Puerto Rico

Yeah, anyway, maybe friend or Instagram. Okay, did you check her out? No, no, but might if she's the one Okay, so you guys you have like literally you have women just coming out of the woodwork. I know that, I mean, everywhere. So now, it's just kind of like having fun, right? And- Yeah, I mean, if the right girl comes along, you're definitely gonna take advantage of it. Right.

Okay, so I want to hear about the animals. So you can just hook up with people. You don't have to say if you, I mean, you clearly are Daniel. Why? Because you're honest about it, and I love it. Vinnie,et can't tell if you are. Maybe you don't. What? You're not gonna say like the show. The show?

Danny already told me that the girls are either animals in bed or they're... No, there's no way. There are. I like animals. I'm not judging. I want to know. I love animals. I want to know what she did that made her. You go, that's an animal. Well, just sometimes you know, girl just lay there. It's just like, what are you doing? Do they? Sometimes. They still do that. After all all these years when we telling them not to. So women they usually younger ones, right? They're like in their early 20s.

I've had some young savages. Oh, of course. Yeah, but they're the ones that are having like slept with dozens and dozens of guys already. Some of them. When you, it doesn't matter. Okay, wait, back up. When you say they're lying there, are they, um, are they still, I mean, are they breathing? Are they guys out? Okay, no, but are they but are they really just like flying?

Yeah, there's not like, they're not like grabbing your penis like in that tickles pickle box. Yeah, do everything yourself, you know? Yeah, that's a waste of time. Right. Seriously, there's no chemistry there. And you just like, where? Here's my question.

What do you guys view on foreplay? I love it. Yeah, it's good. Giving? Yeah, yeah. I like receiving it. You said this. You like receiving it more than giving? I mean, you's giving. Yeah, yeah. I like you said this. Yeah, you like receiving it more than the thing. I mean, you said this other day is funny. We were talking about four playing,

you know, hook and op and kiss and then she's like touching you or sucking you off or whatever. And then you go to have sex and then she might be like, you know, last along, but it's like, what do you expect? We just, you just played around with me for like 30, 45 minutes. You know, what do you expect? You know, I can't allow you to do it. Because you got softer at, but did you come? Or you didn't come? No, no, no, you came, but like let's say you come too quick or whatever.

But it's like what do you expect? Because we were just, you jerked me off last 30 minutes. Who's Jerks Alt? Wait, she was giving you a hand job for 30 minutes? Well, she's, no, you know what I mean? They'll tell me for a play. You're doing, she's touching you and she's sucking you and all that's rest off.

But then when you come to actual thing, right away, you go and then you'll have sex. Right. So she gave you a 30 minute blow job and then when you suck it in, you came, when you suck it in, you came right away. That makes sense. What's the problem? Right. No, but here's the thing.

I understand what you said. No, I do understand. Is that what you're saying, too? Yeah. Okay. So during this 30 minute, she's like, not yet. I'm like, what do you expect? It's gonna happen, you know?

But are you going down on them for 30 minutes? She's funny. A lot of girls don't like that. I, okay, I've been in situations where girls have loved it and I've been in situations where girls don't like it. I've had it both. Sometimes it, maybe, I don't know if they feel insecure about 50-50.

Yeah, I think a lot of women here is, you guys, I feel like I'm gonna help you right now. So good. Because you got like Patty Stanger telling you how to date and you got like saying all this stuff, but let me tell you a little bit, okay, about sex, for real, like this is stuff. Because everything you're saying is why I do my show

because you're coming up with a lot of the common theme. So women, I think a lot of women really do like oral sex, but they're, I think that you don't wanna do it. So they're feeling like, are they might be insecure about it? Because they're not sure about your intent if you really want to do it. They think he doesn't really wanna be down there.

I mean, I think that I agree with you. Yeah. I mean, I think we obviously rather get, get oral than give oral. Of course. Okay. But I think that's, yeah, of course. But it being self-added. Yeah, of course.

But you think that's okay because they're, they're, we're hot and they want to be with us and we don't have to do that. Yeah, I mean, no, that's not the case for me. I'll do it if I'm a track to the girl I will do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. So case for you, no?

No, no, if I'm a track to the girl, definitely do it. If you're a track to tour, do it. How long do you, okay? So how long do you do it for? Like when you go down in a moment, like what were to talk to the girl, definitely do it. If you're a track to tour, do it. How long do you, okay? So how long do you do it for? Like when you go down to a woman, like, what would you say to the vet? Tell you, tell you, tell your tongue or mouth yet, sore. Oh, okay, that's actually a good limb, it says.

Yeah, no, but that's good, because some guys are like two minutes. Or she says, stop, stop, you can't handle anymore. Because it's that good. Yeah, well, it's too much, yeah, they feel like they're going to like, explore, but they don't, they don't. You read a squirter? Yeah, I thought that before my first girl Really do you want one a squirter? Yeah, yeah, I don't mind. Do you like it? Was it too messy? I feel like you're so neat like no, no, no

He's not me. No, no, no, no, no, I'm an animal. You're an animal right okay, so squirter. You like yeah I never I've never experienced it. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, it happens. I can be really interesting You know what I hate you know, I think I hate what I know is that when a girl's like no, I never I've never experienced it. Yeah, it's cool. It happens. I can be really interesting I hate you know, I think I hate Is that when a girl's like no, I don't go down a guy's I'm like yeah, you're not going out You'll never get a guy that way. No, and you'll never get I think well you might find a girl who doesn't like oral But doesn't even know I think there's a lot of younger if you're going out girls and I you guys again Don't get me send me angry emails. I know that some women in their early 20s, like people who work for me in my life and I know them, they like oral sex, but many women have had great oral sex.

They might not be that comfortable with growing up, but I think that when you can do that, when you can master that, that a lot of women really will like you. I love when a girl says she loves giving like second day. So you're saying that when a girl says I don't, of course you like a girl says she loves giving like second day. Right. So you both love her. You're saying that when a girl says, I don't, of course you like a girl loves a soft dick. Of course. But when she says it and I'm like, yeah. She's like, I want to suck your cock.

I love it. Right. That's hot, right? Okay, so, but you've women like, can you fire it up? But you have women who say to you, I don't like to suck it. Yeah. Oh yeah.

That's, I'm sorry, that's the fucking conversation right there. I feel the same way. You could be Margot Robbie. You could be Sydney Crawford. No, I'm probably lying, but. No, but it's true, so we've got a word. I need that, I think it's a very intimate thing. That's half of it.

You could tell a lot about a girl, the way she gives it. Tell me what you can find out about a girl by the way she is. She's fine or soul. Yeah. I'm not really, what can you tell? No, if they're into it and they're into it.

You could tell if they've done it lots or not, you know, the biggest thing is you're talking to her. I think that you tell? No, if they're into it and they do. You can tell if they've done it lots or not, you know, the biggest thing is you're doing it. You're really, I think that you are, okay, Daniel, I think that you look at women in a way judging around how many people they've slept with and then it means something you're like, if they've slept with a lot of dudes. There's just, there's a case too, for that topic there.

If a girl has slept with a lot of dudes, it's good because then she has experience, but you don't necessarily, you maybe want to bring that girl home to your mom to me. You don't want to, I wouldn't necessarily want to date a girl who's been around with a lot of dudes, because then you might just be another dude on the list. Yeah, but she might feel the same way about you. As we get older, that list isn't going to get longer than

a lot of girls. But here's what I want to tell you, is that first of all, you shouldn't even have that conversation with someone you shouldn't ask him on the holidays, something. Really? No, especially in your late 20s, like done. Like that's a is that first of all, you shouldn't even have that conversation with someone you shouldn't ask them on the holidays. Really? No, especially in your late 20s, like done. Like, that's a conversation that should be buried, and then you should brush up on your

old sex skills. Like, get, stop talking about how people they've slept with. That never helps. That conversation never ends well, because that's really long. It does, true, it's true. Everyone lies in. Everyone lies in. And she's going to like either study or prude, and you know, one either one.

And he's going to look like a player, or he's already lying, he's cutting in half, right? Like dividing, right. So what I'm saying is that doesn't even help. And so, But sooner or later, I find that someone brings it up somehow. Like because they want to ask about your past, you know. Just like, you know what?

All I could think about is the best, this is sex I'm having with you now. And it's awesome. That's how you learn the question. Thank you. But I think that would help. And then the oral sex thing too, that helps in four plays.

So you're saying, but then you get soft. So not a soft. No, no, no, not soft. That's soft. You've come too quickly, sorry. Sometimes, sometimes, yeah, sometimes. I do not mean to attribute another penis issue to your penis. No, no, no.

I don't. You don't have one. Sometimes it happens sometimes it doesn't, you know? Right. And then if you drink, obviously, that's an issue sometimes as well. I totally understand it. So I think it's about either if she wants more sex from you, like if she wants to have an orgasm during intercourse,

if she's going down to you for 30 minutes or whatever it is, you're going to need more time. Because of course you're turned on, but you could also turn, go down on her and then you wouldn't come that way. No, of course, that's why I got to. Wait till you're less aroused. That's a good trick in the middle.

Yeah, check your stomach. That's trick in the middle. See yourself a minute. The back and forth exactly. That's what I do. Or here's theers. That's the good trick in the middle. That's trick in the middle. See if you're self-amid. The back and forth, exactly. That's what I do. Or here's the thing, if you don't even want to, which I hope you will eventually want to go down and or more, you could just start kissing her again.

I like going down a girl, like I said, if I find her a track to formally a track to do. Yeah. Right. If you're a track to serve. Sometimes you make a girl, sometimes you make a girl and you're like, you want to, you mean you want it. You sleep with her, but you're not like super-tracked.

I mean, also, it depends on the situation that could be a girl you just met. You could have been dancing at night, you could be sweaty, you know, like, I know a lot of guys that don't like to go down girls. I know, I do too. I think for me to go out down on the girl, it has to be somebody that I'm really interested in. That's what I said, yeah. Keeping the relationship going.

So you wouldn't be, you wouldn't be like the first time you meet someone maybe. I have. I have. Yeah. I'm sure I have, but not a lot. And not a lot. And what if she didn't give you a blowjob the first time you were together? It's not in the world.

If she didn't give me one out of like, because she doesn't do it, then that's not going to work. Maybe she's like trying to play it cool, like, we're not taking it that far. That I respect. What about this? This is just off from my head. Is when I growl, it comes back with you, to wherever you are, and she doesn't do anything. It's like, why do you come over in the first place?

What do you mean she came over? Like say she comes back then in the night, after your DJ, or whatever. Well, think about it this way. I mean, this is a situation that we have to deal with now, being on a television show that shit does happen. It is going to happen. She probably just wants to hang out with you,

but she's sobered out when she got there. As a state in the morning, it's just like, my match. Dude, I had a girl that I hung out with. Maybe you just wanted to see if you really wanted to have like conversation with her if you liked her and it wasn't just about sex. It was in the morning when everyone was wrong.

It wasn't the best time. I get she's sending you a wrong message, but, you know, she's not going to be telling you anything. No, of course not. It's just funny. Well, it wasn't the best time. I get she's sending you a wrong message, but, you know, she's not or you anything. No, of course not. It's just funny. Yeah, you're like, we could have all gone to bed and saved this awkwardness, right?

What were you saying? Nevermind, that's off topic. No, yeah, okay. No, it was just kind of something to deal with, like now it's just that we have to deal with, not being honest, you know, like I had a girl that I talked to for a little bit. Like we hooked up, whatever.

And I see a screenshot of her Snapchat story where she's screenshot of the conversation with a family member. She goes, you better watch the Bachelorette tonight, my ex is on it. I'm like, my ex. I mean, your ex, we hung out a couple of times. You're like, yeah, I'm not just,

I'm just sort of, just funny in common. I'm not your ex. She was like, what did they expect? Melcon cookies when he come over at two, three in the morning. You know what? Maybe. But speaking of ex, I don't know when they come over at two, three in the morning? Maybe. But speaking of ex, I don't want to know what they're saying.

Maybe she's hungry, not both in cookies. Maybe like a pizza. Is that like now social media is used, like Instagram is used to meet people and whatnot. Right. And so I think like talking about what you just said about your ex when you like, do you know that?

That's just a creep. Two or three times whatever. Like again, like just because I send you a message on Instagram or whatever, does not necessarily mean I want to sleep with you., just because I send you a message on Instagram or whatever, does not necessarily mean I wanna sleep with you. Or just because I ask you to go to coffee, does again not necessarily mean I wanna sleep with you. I wanna hang out, I'm very friendly, I'm not shy.

So I don't mind hanging out with someone going to coffee. It's just a social thing to do. That's a thing too now. Everything turns to all this guys are creep. You speak creep and you speak creep and you speak. And this guy's, or they might think maybe this guy's desperate because he asked me within the first five minutes because I hate spent wasting time on social media talking

because I find, you get nowhere. You get nowhere. We're trying to be gentlemen now. And it's not, it's not you're trying to be a creep. Exactly. You're calm. I'd say give me a watch.

That's a loss, that's like a loss. That's like a artifact now. The no one does that. No, but it's so much easier. You were talking about me and the second place. I was like, where the hell are you? Where's the girl's up done that with? And we've talked for hours. This is, I'm like, I told him, this is amazing. She said the much easier. Like, just call me and let's make a plan. One more time, we're not. Where's the girls I've done that with? And we've talked for hours.

And I told them, this is amazing. She said the same thing. Yeah, right. Because then you're like back and forth. What did you mean? What did she mean by that? It's just really confusing. It's so, like, it's just surface levels.

This is born, it's just shit. And there's not going to be anyone. I've had great text conversations with girls where it's been like sarcastic, witty, doesn't have a lot of fun. And then I met them in person. I was like, you're not the same person. Right? Good on paper, good on text. Well, we're just shy, but still. Do girls ask, like, Whitty doesn't have a lot of fun. And then I met them in person. I was like, you're not the same person. Right, good on paper, good on paper.

Well, that was just shy. But still. Do girls escalate now? Like, are you getting a lot of naked photos and stuff? Or like, yeah. I don't get it as much as you think. It'd be a surprise. Yeah, it's not a lot of, it's not like,

oh, damn, she's hot. But I know I get it. It's a bummer. That's why I think the people, when my tip tap advices, when you're dating or you're, you should just cut the time in half that your texting messes me to right away. I don't want to waste time. I don't want to waste your time in my time.

I want to figure out. And another thing I do is I do, the thing I do, when I used to use Tinder or whatever, they got like four or five pictures, they have the best pictures. I want to see, because what Instagram does, it basically tells their life story. It shows me a third and a half. Animal, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a half. Animal, there's four, two and a half. And so yeah, I also, because I know they're gonna put

the top five pictures. And so I wanna see what they really look like. So it's basically like a backup. So within the first five minutes or 10 minutes, I used to be like, what's your Instagram? I'm not trying to be like a creep. No, they should provide their Instagram, I say. Yeah, I'm sure, yeah, sure.

But sometimes I feel like awkward to ask and for, but I don't wanna waste your time on my time. I'm not, I'm not trying to be superficial, but I wanna be attracted to the girl first. And then right away, then I'll talk about, what we're doing. You asked for a little more information. I usually think like maybe if you get on FaceTime

or something and you talk to me first, but then I don't know. It's a lot of things. Well, it's good to see the end of the screen. You can see like, what they do with their life, if they have puppies, if they have a kid, if they go to the gym, they go to the family. It shows a lot, what kind of person they are.

Okay, we're gonna move on to emails. You guys are awesome. Shout out to our sponsors. Thank you everyone for supporting our sponsors and for listening to this show. And I love you all. We'll be right back. We're back.

We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back. One of my dreams is a lube on every nightstand.

You wanna know why? I have it in my own mind. In my mind. Perfect. In it. That's cool. You can put it in or on. But because there is that stigma, people think that you only use loom if she's dry or there's discomfort, like it's to fix a problem. However, just adding a few drops of loom

whenever you're having sex or when you're masturbating before sex, where you go inside her, it mimics her natural lubrication. So even if she's already wet, that's amazing. No, it's good. But it adds another dimension to it. It's like big fan. Big fan, right? And big fan.

Every time you've sex, you should have that. Okay, here's a question I have. And she's more like an orgasm too. I am a habitual loob user. So here is something that I've been thinking about. If you have a girl that you just started talking to and you have that loob, it's a little awkward bringing it up because she knows that you bought that to use with somebody else.

Right. Okay. I understand what you're saying, but Loubit is a little, it's kind of like kind of, it's kind of like, I've got to pretend like, because I have a, it's pretty big. Right. So it's like, damn, how like, like, the girls probably think like, what the hell you've been doing? Like, like, I kind of like hide it and I put it in my hand on the corner and like,

You can tell your friends just actually have the Emily because I'm going to be giving you so many different kinds of Loubs. No, Joe, we work with Joe and they make all these different kinds of really pretty, like I don't know what kind you use, but you should buy some. I think water based. Okay, water based is great for women actually, but here's the thing about loop. It's like condoms, like you have condoms in your house. I mean, I get it's different because it's not like a used condom. What's a condom? Stop, you guys, I'm going to give you a condom. No, I have condoms. I've never seen one before. But I'm saying is that it's not like a used condom. What's a condom? Stop, you guys, I'm gonna give you a condom. No, I have condom. I've never seen one before.

But I'm saying is that it's not, I don't think that that's a weird thing. I think that, I think that what I would hope is that women will just understand that like it's, that's my goal, that they'll understand that you're using it because it feels better to both of you. I don't think that she's freaking out that you've lubed. Right. When you should like, should you act like,

okay, you have sex with her like the first time without lubed, you go, I think I should need lubed and then like should order a new okay, you have sex with her the first time without Loub. You go, I think I should need Loub and then you should order a new one just to make her feel that you bought that for. No, Loub is not like that. You were like, you used Loub. Loub is like dish soap or something.

I mean, it's like, you just have it. You don't buy a new hand soap in the bathroom. Can you use dish soap? No, don't use dish soap. Just use coconut oil. Yeah, coconut oil. You can use coconut oil, but I don't recommend it because you never know. I'm not gonna use it. No, we're, you can use coconut oil, but I don't recommend it because you never know.

I'm gonna use water oil. No, we're gonna give you guys some loops. Maple syrup. But I'm gonna give you some flavored loops too that are really good. Is that how they pay? It's healthy though, it's water based and they feel good. But I'm saying that no, I don't think

that you need to. Organic vegan, I'm the only one who's vegan. Yes, it is, organic. Yeah, right. It is. Okay, well, as you guys, you think I mess around that, like, lobes that are not delicious and good for you? So, no, I don't think that I do know that.

What do you do that? I would. We have the salted caramel loob, and literally they, I will wrap the trade shows. For some reason, that's on drawers, I don't know what it is. I'll eat it if you'll eat it. But we have the salted caramel.

Where's it at? It's in the closet, in the sex but it's so good. They actually hand it out. I want in the closet. It's so good. It's so good. They actually handed out. I want to see it. Yeah, yeah. They handed out at trade shows, the salted caramel loop. I'm telling you, it feels great for oral sex,

like for like you put on her body when she's going down in you. It's not sticky. This is what I'm telling you guys. I would not give you like your grandfather's. No, you don't know me. I'm sorry. I wouldn't give you your grandfather's sticky loob. This is like your parents' loob.

Like, you used it? Modern day loob. No, and you know what? She's not gonna think that why do you have a bottle of loob there that you used it with someone else? Loob of toys. Oh, Vaseline, do people use that? That's what I'm doing.

No, no, don't use Vaseline. Let me see this off. Okay. So this is Salted Caramel. They don't know the expert. That's a good business. I'm telling you it's real. Oh, is it called Joe? No, no, no. It's not expert, it's a good business. I'm telling you it's real. Oh, is it called joke?

No, it's called Joe, the brand is Joe. And it's the only loop that I sell. That I talk about, I mean, I sell it, that I even like, they're like my- What's that on this, all the caramel? Because you can buy like bad loobs, it hurt you enough. Dan, you put it on your finger and put it in my mouth. Oh my God, you're gonna feed each other,

and loop? This is so romantic. Nice, yeah. It tastes good. Okay, this is amazing. Okay, I'll do this too nervous Another jolub go yeah really up my finger no, I'm not looking your finger exactly that dirty I'm like yeah, it's good. It's really good imagine if like

I'm like, yeah, it's really good. Imagine if like, it's salted caramel. All right, enough, I'm not eating it. Just cook it. Eat it. Oh yeah. It's good. It's good, right? That was a growl, I'd be going to town.

And I get my sugar intake out of that. Everybody fast out of that. I know, right? Exactly. It is true that some women are like, I don't like the taste. And they're like, oh, well, I could give you oral sex that tastes like gelato. I'm gonna have to steal some from you.

We're giving you a gift pack. I told you, you guys know, no one ever leaves here without some things to make your life even more pleasurable. This just came in my head, because I thought I thought I thought I thought of dirty fingers. Tell me Daniel.

Dirty fingers. You want to sew gross? Is when I see guys with dirty ass long fingernails, and I think about, if I was a girl, I would never in a million years want this guy going near my vagina. You're absolutely right. Is that a thought? I just thought.

And I go, we a tag about hygiene a lot on the show that you really do. Everyone needs to wash their hands before sex and wash up before sex. Do you think of busy day and you're running around? If I'm dirtin' in there and you're out of that scroll. That's how you get infections. What are some turnoffs for girls? I'm gonna ask you that. I would say hygiene is turn-off.

I would say- Yeah, see your fur girls, like for guys. Sexual or- Yeah, yeah, for you. Sex. Guys who don't do for- I say guys who are not interested in for-play, guys who don't pay attention.

Pay attention is huge. No, you don't pay attention. I mean, like, paying attention to how her body is moving, if she's responsive, if she's like, when you're like doing the jackhammer, and she's just like, you know, if she's responsive, if she's like when you're doing the jackhammer and she's just like looking at her phone and you didn't really know, it's like, look at the point of each other.

No, I'm saying that my show is sex advice. I give a ton of sex advice and help a lot of people, but the basic premise of sex, I think one of the things that you can learn the most of is when you pay attention to women. I think that because every woman is different, right if you put a hundred women in a room And they were all masturbating for example They would all be doing something different and you're like I know girls who say they don't masturbate even

That's true You've got these women that you're talking to Nowadays later like they come across as like almost asexual in a sense because they don't want to come on Society over the many years of kind of, they kind of feel like, you know, they don't want the stigma of being like a slut or being like promiscuous or whatever. So they now girls are kind of being the opposite of that. You know, they're kind of, you know, they're going after

their career, they're trying to be polite and proper. So. But that's, I think that that's sort of a perception that you have, and I think that for some women that could be true, but I think it's a different time right now. And I think that I'm saying, I mean, I'm saying, I mean, it all type. So I'm just saying I do meet a bunch of girls now.

I'm like, why, what, sex is good. Sex is supposed to be fun. So my bottom line is it's sex is supposed to be fun. And I think that we make it really difficult. So the thing about the women, they're all different. So just because your last girlfriend might have liked it when you went down at her and fingered her in a certain way, the next one would be like, I don't want fingers at all.

So that's why if you're with her, you're like, you could be paying attention to this. I know some girls like things hard, some like it's soft, so she can't. I have to pick up on their phones. I have to pick up the body language and breathing. You got, yeah, it's the body language. Good, see Vinnie knows.

Trust me, I know, I'm just gonna say, I know it's with girls, like some, I find like when you're doing things with your hands, like some like it's soft, some like it hard, and it's like you have to pay attention because it's true Right it's good to always start slow though and use leave with your finger I'm too. This is gonna change your life. Oh, well getting figured more than anything. I noticed I love all your girls Declarations I'm just saying I think girls love it. They love every girl loves being figured if you do a good

Yeah, what do you I don't that's that's not true? You know, you know You don't think girls like to do that. There's a lot of girls who, I think that some girls put up with it, but they don't know, they don't have the words yet to say they don't like it, and they don't know that's okay. But I give people permission to say, it's okay, that doesn't feel good.

It's not every girl likes it. No, I'm not exactly. I understand. I find, like, when we use things, and when we say things like that in here, I gotta just clarify that it's not every girl. But I feel like you're on a girl with a finger. I don't know what I'm gonna do. What? I feel like you're on the ground to go to a finger.

I'd rather go down on a girl than finger. Really, why? Just like boring. I think I get more, I get more, jump a loose change from something. Yeah, like I get more out of it by going down on a girl than just fingering her. You guys, would you help me answer some emails

from my listeners? Definitely. I think you guys can be so useful here. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show, that's amazing. You can text so useful here. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show, that's amazing. You can text me your question. All one word, text Ask Emily to 7979. And you can also submit a question to sexwithemily.com via the Ask Emily tab. And as always, include your gender, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show.

Hi Emily, I'm a 37-year-old divorce guy who loves your show. Your podcast and others have helped me learn about myself after my 10 year relationship ended. Now I'm ready to step back into dating. What is the right way other than just coming out and saying it to ask a girl out? I have this one girl in mind, but I don't know anything about her other than where she works, a store that I frequent. She's always smiling at me and seems to remember things about what I buy. I don't want to misinterpret her friendly nature

as being flirtier interested if that's not the case. I find her attractive, friendly, and I'd like to get to know her. I do a lot of shopping at the store. I don't want to change where I shop. If I cause friction by asking her out or assuming she's not interested, how do I gauge her interest or boldly ask for a date, Erin, 37, Dayton, Ohio? Okay, so I think he's been out of the game for 10 years.

So he's a little insecure obviously time because I know If I'm not I think I think off the bad he has to maybe find something in common with her and just build off of it like even What she works at her she's a cashier. Yeah, she works at some store that he frequents. I don't know what it is Well, he can't be frequent in too much because that's not a creepy But maybe just find something in common that they can talk about, and kind of parlay that into her,

what she, if she's single, or if they would even, you know, if she would even entertain the deal of maybe getting coffee with him or something. Right. He's got to just find a segue. But he sounds like she's giving him a nod or whatever it was, at least that.

But he's overthinking it, saying, well, what if she's just flirting and that I can't shop then, he's way ever thinking it. Well, yeah, he's overthought it and saying, well, what if she's just flirting and that I can't shop then he's way overthinking it. Well, yeah, he's overthinking it. In a release, it might be seven. He's overthought it by too much and now it's going to be awkward. I mean, in a day, the best thing would be you just go and ask her.

Yeah, maybe just be straightforward. I agree with that. Let's go for a walk and grab coffee and something. Yeah, say, this is fun. I love talking to her. Let's grab coffee. What are you doing, what are you doing Thursday? Let's get dinner.

I mean, I think you just got to be straightforward. I find dinner in a drink. Okay, drink. Or lunch. I say, what think you just gotta be straightforward. I think you just gotta be straightforward. Okay, Drake. Drake. I say, what I say is go for coffee or go for a walk. Always awesome. Going for a walk, just make you feel insecure. Like, this way you kind of moving around.

Yeah. Walk is a good idea. I love walking around. Yeah, so you meet women up for dates and a walk date. Oh, it's always every single time. That way, it's first off, it's a cost basically. No money. We can leave anytime you want.

I gotta go. You know leave anytime you want. I got to go. You know, this is the way. You're like, it's just fun. You're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're

like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're That's a good, that's a one day. I think yeah, he should just be straight up because then he's gonna psych himself out and it's gonna get weird. Thank you for bringing this back and helping him. Aaron, I think you're right.

I think that a lot of, I think there's a lot of male behaviors in your patterns that I see. Let me see. She's overfitting it. Listen, you're a track of joy. You're in the store. Don't worry that she's gonna be awkward.

Like just let her know. Say, this is, I love talking to you here. Let's grab a pound of it. Done. Don't ever think it. And you are 10 years out of the game though, Aaron. So just go easy on yourself, but it's a muscle. So dating is like a muscle in the morning.

Maybe you can like find your name and maybe like do a little back or research on Instagram, or Instagram. Don't be creepy with it. Just go to little something. If you need to be creepy with it. I mean, that's like going to our house, that's creepy. Just trying to maybe see if you've got a boyfriend or something.

Then you can check out the Instagram. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Okay, hi Emily, I'm a huge fan of your podcast. As a guy, I think your insight is always so helpful, thoughtful, and I'm always looking forward to listening to the next episode. Recently, I met this girl who's cute, pretty cool, and interested in just being friends

and having casual sex. We've had sex a handful of times, she's like, that girl doesn't exist, and it's always been really fun for both of us. I'm pretty open about talking about sex, and I'm always looking for ways to make it more And it's always been really fun for both of us. I'm pretty open about talking about sex, and I'm always looking for ways to make it more fun, exciting, and even proof some of my techniques.

I was wondering if you had any advice or technique when it comes to going down in a woman and even using my hands or fingers to pleasure woman. I guess I'm looking for some concrete techniques and tips that I can apply. So I know I'm hitting all the right buttons in a good way, thanks in advance, love the podcast and everything you do.

Day 2424 Missouri. I'd love to hear what you got to say, but this is right. Yeah, I was like, oh my god, I'm reading this one. This is from a girl. I early. A guy. No, it's from a guy, but I'm a guy. Yeah, yeah. Right. So this is what I want to tell you off. This is this is the lesson.

Like you said, everybody's different lesson here. Okay. So there's some basics here. Yeah. J and Vinnie and Daniel. So I would say that the things that you really have to learn is what we were saying earlier is that you really need to pay attention. By that I mean is how is her body moving? Is she enthusiastic, you know,

can tell if she's into it, if she's not, is she not moving at all? She's receptive or she's on her phone, which is exactly. And then as far as like oral, it's really about going slow and building up the tease. So I think the mistake that a lot of men make is that they go right for the kiddos. So you're like, you're making out of the girl,

maybe for a second, and then you're like, and you're like, you skip the boobs completely, you go right down, take your pants off, and you're like, right there. And so the thing about the clitoris, you guys know where the clitoris is, right, you know that. If you, I wish I'd have a little puppet. I mean, yeah.

Was that that thing on the breast? What? It's a nipple. No, it's a nipple. It's a harryolais is right, you know, all that. I wish I had my vulva puppet. Was that that thing on the breast? It's a nipple. No, it's a nipple. It's a harryola? Here, here you go. But the clitoris, right, that's where the mad... The horror clitoris is. 8000 nabbin' in here.

8000 nabbin' in here. Some guys don't know, but there's like 8000 more rendings, but it's not just the little button. It's like the whole area. The vulva? The vulva. Nice. I have five tea for the vulva.

I know, my vagina. Can you give it a vagina? I've seen a few of my days. The vulva. Nice. Nice. High five to you for the vulva. I know, my vagina. Can you tell me you're vagina? I've seen a few of my days. That's good. That's good. And so you want to like tease it, right? So play with your inner thighs, like massage. You can like do little licks around,

but don't go, you want to like warm her up. So I think the big thing is the tease. And kiss her down her body, like her, her breasts, her stomach. You're gonna marinate a little bit. That, like, letter marinade. Yeah, turn around. You're gonna marinate a little bit. That's right. Let her marinate. Yeah, turn around. You're still my word.

I've said that. Kidding, that's my word. You know, like, you know. I think that the mistake, I think that when guys are turned on, they're like, yeah, I want to blow jump now. Like, don't start licking. I mean, although I do think it's nice to tease men sometimes, but women, like, it helps us with our rouse-out.

Like, it'll help, we'll be more ready for sex. We'll be more likely to have orgasms when we have more for play So this way when you're going to so then you get there and you're fooling around there. He's asking techniques I think that every woman's different some women like fingers some women don't But I would not start with fingers. I would start with your mouth and your tongue and like there's You know again go slow lick around in circles, play with your tongue, make sure that it's a- Do the alphabet.

Really? So, what's out from? The alphabet? We had a funny skin on the back, so we had to go on stage and reveal like our most awkward sex stories. That was great. He just brought up, he did the alphabet on a girl,

like A, B, C, and it was pretty funny. I think in a way that, yeah, I mean, out of the alphabet, so it works, but if it gets funny. I think in a way that, yeah, I mean, I don't know the alphabet. So it works, but if it gets your tongue moving in different directions, that can work. So concrete to also, here's my number one tip, J, and for you guys is that one of the big concerns that I think that women have often is that we don't really know that you want to be there, that you're into us, that you want to do it. And we're thinking like, what if, yeah, I don't taste good or you don't want to do it.

The best thing you can say to a woman is, I just want to go down to you and I'm going to be here all night. I'm not going anywhere. And then she can like relax and settle in. And that's the big thing with you. And you're going to realize that feeling relaxed and feeling comfortable. So massage is also great to get her like,

you guys, I'm sure you live in high school, I give a girl a massage. That's the way they did one of the best. That's the trick that I was going to take. That's my trick of the trade. I'm like, back toaff and I just worked out. I'm gonna give her a massage. I'm gonna give her a massage.

Yeah, that's one of the best ways to start. It is though, because the women are really, we're all stressed out and I think sex actually, so pleasurable. The sex is a muscle, you know? Get her relaxed. Yeah, everything is a muscle. And so I've sometimes got to work at hard though.

No, don't not do hard. I think another tip is to go slower than you think with every sex move. Go five times slower than you think. So I think I think I need more sex fabric. No, no, you're good. But I think, and then with fingers again, you gotta see if she's into it.

But a lot of women, when you're going down and earth and you can add fingers after she's already turned on. What about butt stuff? To grow, let's talk about butt stuff. I have a butt plus in here. We started talking about that earlier. Butt stuff, I even. Anel sex. What about butt stuff to girls? Let's talk about butt stuff. I have a buttplug sitting here. We started talking about that earlier. Butt stuff, even. Anal sex?

What do you think about it? You know, I've done it once. I've done it once in a long time. The only thing I have to say is, yes, standing. And this is cute. I'm curious what you think of this. So let's say we're not using an economist.

Say, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, a girlfriend, you know, whatever I'm into. What the fuck? Are you into man? No, I'm just saying, I'm talking for like... Got it. You're trying to be aggressive. Yeah. If she's...

No, I'm talking about like if I was gay or gay people. Good for you. I like, right. Good. Okay. Right. Okay, so you're saying. Anyways, and let's say, yeah, let's say let's say let's say I'm doing anal sex and then...

Doing anal? Yeah. What about things like poop? And then what happens if they want to suck on you? You know what I'm like? What is their problem? That's their problem. Sex can be messy, it's true.

And so I think that before sex, there's a lot of women, you know, you just, or whoever's receiving, you can use like an endimofid, not the kind, don't use the vinegar that comes in. If you really feel like you need to, and you're like, let's say you like, I know I'm having anal sex and I'm constipated, I mean, you can use one, enema, but not the kind. Don't use the vinegar that comes in. If you really feel like you need to, and you're like, let's say you like, I know I'm having anal sex and I'm constipated. I mean, you can use one, you take out the water,

I mean, you take out the vinegar and you're gonna add water to it, but most people have healthy bowels, it moves through them, and you know, like you might not want to go to have a huge Mexican dinner that night and then go on with an anal sex. And you have to put a pair of poles. And most of us moves, yeah. If you're out of the college bar and this girl's just like,

take me back and throw it in my ass, you might have to worry about it. Right. And you actually, you want to make sure, and she just had Taco Bell in the way back. And then like, I know this one girl, I was like, she's like, yeah, you can, you know, stick in my ass and then I can suck your dick.

And I'm like, Right, so that actually, I would advise against that. Yeah. Because you should take a shower. You should get clean. You should actually be very clean with that. Because when you give a turn for your mouth, you're thinking about so it turns you off.

That's like, I know, that's what exactly has. Yeah, it's not say, it's really not, for all the bacteria and stuff. But maybe she was saying that, I think you would think that was hot. But clearly, you didn't do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, so we're just talking like this. She's like, so I would like to have anal sex and then suck on you after. Yeah, I was like, oh my god, and that's a freak.

I like a freak, but that's like, what is that okay? Right, but to me that would not be sanitary. You should be careful. Exactly, I'm like a germophoboene comes like, that's the stuff, you know? Right, I get it. Well, so now we're clearing, so the truth is

you guys, everyone, we've done a lot of anal shows, but talk about anal, is that I think it is that's a big concern for people, but there's, you just make sure that you're clean and they shower, you take care of it, and like all that stuff that you've to work on, and you can, you know, just be safe. So any other sex questions you guys have for me? Hmm. I feel like there's a lot of work we could do here in a good way, in a good way.

Even in a lot of work, was that supposed to mean? No, fun, like good stuff. Like the next time you sex, you'll be like, oh, wow, this was next level. Yeah. Just like dating is next level for you now. What do you got, Daniel? Anything about women that you're like, why does that happen?

I mean, we covered a lot, but. Hmm. I can't think of the top of my head. I should have been preparing. Well, going back to like, like, say you're giving her like oral sex and she's like, then she's like, no, stop, stop. You know, it's like too much. Well, it's true that some women,

that it can be too much. Yeah, it can be. It can be. It just can't handle anymore. You're like, okay, I'll tell you there's two things. Either she really can't handle it. Did she have an orgasm already or not? No, it was like she couldn't have one.

It was like, building up, building up and up. And then it didn't. It didn't happen. It, building up, building up, and then it didn't. It didn't happen. It didn't happen sometimes, but you just, then you stop, obviously. Yeah, yeah. But for some women, they do just get, it gets really sensitive and it's too much.

And sometimes it's just the person doing it. It's not, a lot of times we have a hard time articulating what we need. And so we're just like, I'd rather just have them stop because I know it's not gonna happen. Has every girl that you've had sex was like, been able to have an orgasm? No, no.

Yeah, okay. Okay, good. I was gonna ask you guys as well, like been able to have an orgasm? No, no. Yeah, okay. Okay, good. I was gonna ask you guys those log, cause I'm like, no. I've only, no. Hmm. What? I think I've only been able to have,

just crazy, two, like, three girls that I've ever been with. So, like, so. So, back up, three girls you've been with have had orgasms with you? Yes. During your course. Yeah.

I'm saying, like, I've only, I've only, mostly the relationship guy, but that's good. There's only three of them. I find like, a lot of girls have troubles getting them, sometimes I'm not. That's true. So you guys know that only 30% of women

have orgasms during intercourse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Only 30%. That would make sense as assuming that you slept with maybe 10 women, right? 10 women. 10, nice, nice. 10, nice, no, right.

But what I'm saying is, so that's a great question. So since only 30% of women can, and of those women, it's not every time, what does that mean? It means that it's just best to have, because we're always supposed to assume that women can, and you're like, what can't you? I mean, that knocks me down a little bit

if you have sex with a girl, and she doesn't know her gasm. It's like, what are you doing wrong? But you're not. The, let me tell you this. So there's some hacks here, some things you can do. Like facts. Life hacks, sex hacks, is that the reason why she can't, a lot of times, is because we just require

so much literal stimulation. And a lot of times during sex, when you're just rubbing and it's just not gonna be enough on the top, no matter what position, and it's way, every woman's anatomy is different. And so the best thing you can do to help with is not trip on upon it, it's really nothing that you're doing.

That's why girls like to usually be on top, cause they're like, exactly, look at you. I feel like if we were giving out like you can name right now. No, but it is true that so women require more collateral, they require more for plays. So that's why I'm talking about like, you know, what is funny? Like, I hate to say it. I'm using your fingers. I hate to say it and Vinnie will come and definitely back me up. But sometimes we get jealous and we get selfish. I know. You just want to get jealous, and we get selfish. I know. You just wanna do your thing.

I know, dude, I know that's how most, I know. We get lazy in my olderies. Oh no, you guys, I know. That's how that. I fell asleep knowing a blowjob once. No. I've heard these stories.

Yeah, that's crazy. It was that good of blowjob. I don't know, was that good? But it's not to default, but you can fall asleep pretty easily. So I don't fall the girl. Okay, wait't know who that is. But it's not to default and you can fall asleep pretty easily. You don't fall the girl. Okay, wait, but you guys, I know what you're saying about the selfish thing and that can happen sometimes, but women, I feel like it happens more than not with men that they're like,

I can't figure out, you're this puzzle that's not going to happen to you and I don't have to control this. I'm so turned on. And I'm going to orgasm or was going to roll over fall asleep and you didn't say anything so you probably don't care that much But she does care like not every time But she cares this stuff she wants to know that you're conscious that she hasn't had one and maybe she's got a toy Like so many women have like a toy that she could get off in like two minutes or maybe she did want some more But she needs to tell you how she wants it. I got nowhere. I'm like do it yourself. Yeah, I watch

I don't mind that's a good tactic like you can tactic. Sometimes she's like, oh, let me do it, I'm like, sure, let's see, I don't mind that as well. Right, that's a good face. That's a good person. I'm a good person. Either, no. But I think mutual masturbation is a great tip for people. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

You can both, if you know what's not going to happen, you can both drag off because you're seeing how she does herself. I've done it where I'm sitting. I was drinking, doesn't help, and so I've had to do it myself. It's like, I'm trying to first have an interview. It's like just your mash and making mashed potatoes not working out, so I have to do it myself. It's making mashed potatoes.

You do a lot of mashing, mashing typically that pounding isn't. No, I mean, it's just like, it's not working like that. So I have to do it myself. Right, you have to check yourself off. And then sometimes I think some of the girls might get offended because they think it's like they're not good enough. Whatever it is, like, no, it's my... Daniel has sex like the dude in American Psycho reflexes.

He's... You do? I'm never done that. No, I'm never done that. I swear to God, I'm never done that. You do like sex like five, four, three, two, one. I'm never done that. You do like sex like five, four, three, two, one.

It is like American Psycho. You check out your oblique. Never done that. You guys... I swear to God, I swear to God. You wait until she goes to that thing. I can't wait. I mean, there probably wasn't a weird one point in time. We flexed. God, I swear to God. You wait until she goes back. Actually, wait. I mean, there probably wasn't we are at one point in time.

Reflexed? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that you are going down, then you're like, oh, I'm actually doing it right. Cause women worry too, we're all worried that we're not pleasing to our heart. I love when girls are vocal, the biggest thing is vocal. Oh, Tommy, which is making noises. Well, not just that, but I love when girls say this or that. You know what I mean?

We want to know. It's so nice, cause it's just like anything in life. You don't know, sometimes girls like different things on. That's why I'm always like, not to be creepy like, do you like that? Or, you know, I'm supposed to help us out too. Like let me know where you know That's good. It's also helps us out too.

Like let me know where and how you want it. So thank you for saying that. If you're anyone is listening be vocal that's the biggest. I think a lot of women but okay, but I want to go back to you here Daniel because you were saying that women I think it's true that they might feel like they're going to be seen as slutty if they know what they like. Like they might be feeling like oh if I show them all the stuff then people like Daniel are going to assume that I know my body really well.

Maybe it's of that same ilk. It's in that same judgment. I think what you know, but that was like, wait, I seem to be fast way before. But once you get into the bed, it's usually all hell breaks. I feel like right, hell breaks. Yeah, just everything's off the table in the sense of it. And it doesn't matter. I feel like you're right, though, that women and men should talk about more what they want

in bed. Well, I'm 100% sure. I mean, right, do you guys ever tell us when they're giving you a blow job, you're like, can you do this faster or slower? Yeah, oh my God, faster, more and more. More, deeper, faster. Do you give me like rug burn, I hate that. Use that, use some teeth.

No, rug burn. No one ever. Right, right, exactly. Okay, guys, this was awesome. Oh my God, you guys are awesome. This is really fun. Okay, everyone, check you out on Bachelor in Paradise. Yes.

Bachelor in Paradise. Check us out on the EVB show. Everybody just talking about sex for an fun. Okay, everyone, check you out on Bachelor in Paradise. Yes. Bachelor in Paradise. Check us out on the EBC show. We just talked about sex for an hour. Yeah, it's amazing. But you guys, you want to give it up? We have all this on our website, but your social and all that. Yeah. What's my Instagram? Daniel, Sean McWarran.

Right here, but I know. Yeah, if you want to slide in my DMs, it's at Vinny Vincene. Yeah, they read them, too. We do, but you don't respond to many, because it's just hard. It's hard, it's just a new book. If you respond to this one, then you can respond to that one, you know? So the next thing you know, it's getting screened job put on Twitter Yeah, yeah, okay, well you guys are doing a good work. It's not sick. You're having fun. Thank you

You're awesome. Thank you for being here and thank you everyone for listening to this show Thanks for having us awesome We're gonna get some toys. Thank you to my amazing team and thanks everyone for listening was a good for you Email me feedback atback at sexualtom.com.