Sex With Emily - Sex Toys That Sleigh

Episode Date: December 5, 2020

Looking for a great sex toy for the holidays? I got you.Whether you’re buying your first toy, looking to explore more erogenous zones (there are SOOO many) or want to know how to introduce a toy in the bedroom, this episode will help with the next step on your way to more pleasure.I get, it can be overwhelming, so hear my recommendations to make sure you find the vibe for you.Be sure you check out our 2020 gift guide at sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you bring a toy into the bedroom, it's an added stimulation for both of you. It's a kind of like bringing a third in, but it's a lot safer and a lot less drama. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mark our sacred institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on days. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.

In today's show, I put together a bunch of calls I got from you asking about toys. Pleasure products. You know, what should I buy for my partner? What's the best toys for literal stimulation? Internal stimulation. How do I find something that's quiet and powerful? I also dispelled some of those sex toy myths. Like, what do I do if I'm hard, it doesn't like toys, or can the toys desensitize you? And also, it is December, and this is the gift-giving time of year, and I'm a huge fan of always giving the gift of pleasure.

Even if it's a stocking stuffer, you can put some lube in there, you can put a little toy. It's the gift that keeps on giving. It allows us to feel more connected and have a new shared experience with our partner, and it's just a good time if you haven't tried a toy yet. We also just released our gift guide,

which this year it's really comprehensive. We've got gifts for singles, for couples, for yourself, your own sexual self-care. We've got stocking stuffers. It's a great gift guide. I'm buying some of them myself. So it's actually stuff that we all like on my team that we put in there and you can find that at sexwithemily.com. All right, intentions with Emily for each episode. Join me in setting an intention. Believe me, it helps right now. Think about it. What do you want to get from listening to this episode? How could it help you? It could be, yeah, I want to buy a new vibrator for me or my partner.

Well, my intention is to give you wide variety of options and to hear a lot of the common question, so when you are making a purchase like a pleasure product, you know exactly what to get. Alright, enjoy the show. Let's talk to Amanda 41 in Arkansas. Hi, Amanda. Thanks for calling. Hi, thanks. Well, it's just kind of a question, really.

I don't exactly know what it's called, but it's said from the dildo type thing, you know, it curves the top, it has kind of like a little silver bullet inside of the casing. So it curves upward to hit the clitoris g spot on the end felt, right? Is it a dildo? So a dildo doesn't vibrate. Okay, it vibrates a vibrator. Okay, I got it. You know, I can kind of play around on the inside, you know, get yourself started. And then I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna try the insertion and see if this is real. And it worked.

And so it worked quite. My question is, why does this not happen during actual sex? Like, what am I doing positionally and correct toward that that's not happened? That is such a great question, Amanda. So what you're asking is you use an internal vibrator. It didn't have an external part to it, right?

It didn't have a, it wasn't like a rabbit vibrator that went on the external, just went inside you. Okay, and so for the first time, or maybe one of the first times you experience an internal orgasm using that vibrating toy. The first time. The first time. maybe one of the first times you experience an internal orgasm using that vibrating toy. The first time. The first time. At 41.

Yes. Okay. So congratulations by the way. And who are the poster child for women because I say all the time that just because you have an had one doesn't mean it won't happen. You just got to explore. I had my first one with a vibrator as well. Yeah, I totally get it.

So I feel like, just wanna, so happy for your man. Really, that's really cool. So why doesn't it happen? It's because first off, well, you in a committed relationship right now, are you in a long-term relationship? I am married. Oh, okay. So the thing is that you were, probably alone,

you weren't thinking about your orgasm. You weren't really worried about maybe pleasing your partner or waiting for it to be done. Maybe you were just felt relaxed and you were on your own, right? Or was your husband there? No, I was by myself, yes. Okay. You were by yourself and you kind of experiment and you could think, well, where does this go? And you can move it around inside of you and just kind of breathe into it and get where

you could feel where you kind of knew where it needed to go. And so when we're with our partner sometimes, and then their penis is just going in and out, it's not as nuanced, right? There's not as many movements, that targeting different spots. And it doesn't, you know, I don't think your husband's penis vibrates. So there's all those factors, I think, that contribute to it. So I think that you are in control and there was no one around and you could breathe and you could be you.

And now you know you can. So this is such great information you have now. And you can bring that to your husband and be like, look what I found. I found these internal, literal nerves and how to stimulate them. Let's celebrate. Let me show you. So here's this toy. Right. That's what I Let me show you. So here's this toy. Right. That's what I was going to say. So literally, you're like, Hey, check this out. This is

what I found out. This is what happens now. You try it. That's it. That's it. And you bring them into it. Now I was thinking about you and I thought, Wow, I even called into a show. You could say that. You could say, I read some research and I found out you're like, so you guys are in it together. I said, I've got something really fun tonight, really hot, you can even text them ahead of time or just say, I've got something, I want to tell you and then build that up and then be like, look at what I found, let's and he'll watch you

or he can do it for you. And then maybe he could try it with his fingers and some lube and then he could find that spot as well. Okay, I'm gonna do that just like very nicely where he does. And thank you for something wrong. We'll see Amanda. This is why I'm telling you that we think that if we have to bring up sex, we're going to be shaming our partner, rejecting them. They're going to feel really bad. Oh, good. I just thought the whole G spot thing wasn't real.

Like, oh, people say that, yeah yeah they're faking it or whatever things like I've never had that. I mean Amanda this is amazing I mean here's the thing that is in your 41 years old you've probably been had and you have other orgasms to have yeah always clitorally like always I can always do it that way but it's never happened internally. Now do you here's my question for you met do you want to if I ask you a few questions? Because this is so interesting. And I think it's gonna help a lot of people. So tell me about your literal orgasms.

Is it during masturbation? Is it when your, you know, your husband uses his mouth or his fingers? All of the above. Great, okay. That makes sense. And then with this toy though, do you remember, was it like deep inside

or was it just about two thirds though, do you remember was it like deep inside or was it just about two thirds inside? Do you remember? I literally like that means it sounds really stupid, but literally the tip. Yep. So what that exactly so what that means is it's sort of what I what I always say is that it's your internal literal nerves. So people think it's the G spot. Some people I don't even of G-spot, because this is why women are like, oh, is it? What is it? But the clitoris is 8,000 nerve endings like on the outs, like it's that little bud, but they also have these legs that sort of

extend internally behind your labia and in your pubic mound towards the opening of your vagina. And so that's kind of what you were doing. You could slow down and then stimulate it. And I bet your husband now, if you show him with the toy, he could find that spot on you as well. But it might not come with a penis. So only 20% of women have an orgasm with a penis inside of them. And it's because it's much shallow for some women. There's a shallow earth frosting or a,

there's just more of a little curve there. You got to hook around and find that internal literal nerve as it becomes swollen by the openings? Does that make sense? Does that make sense? Yeah, I love this Amanda. Thank you. Of course, I'm going to get it.

Of course. Thank you. I appreciate you. How about that? Amanda, let's talk to David 35 in North Dakota. Hi, David. Thanks for calling. What's going on?

Hi, Emily. Hi. I was just curious. My wife and I have our anniversary coming up in a couple weeks. And I would like to get a wearable vibrator that I can have the remote with. Oh, amazing. That's kind of curious. You've come to the great place. I've got a few suggestions for you. So the first one that came to mind Was are you guys going out that night? I'm going out for something.

Okay, that weekend anyway. Yes. Well, this is what I recommend. The Moxie by Wee vibe is a wearable, panty vibe that you she can put it in her underwear and it's the coolest thing. It's like, I think, oh, I have one right here. It like fits right in her underwear. It's a very powerful vibrator. It has a magnet that keeps it in place. It's by Wevibe and you can use it with your phone so it connects Bluetooth. And so she could be wearing it out. And the cool thing about it is that it's more like like she could wear it during interquart, like she could hold it in her hand. It'll feel great on you. It's really, it's kind of like

as thick as like your thumb maybe. Super powerful waterproof rechargeable. I love the Moxie by Wevibe. If she's into internal vibes, like all of their vibrators now pretty much come with the remote. Like if they're all with the We Connect app, so you just control it with your phone. Okay. the remote. Like if they're all with the Wii Connect app, so you just control it with your phone. Okay. Some of them come with a remote. There's also the Wii Vibes Sync, and that one is a wearable meaning. She can wear it during intercourse. So it goes in, it's like a C shape, and it touches her G-Spot Anarchliterus, and that one has like actual handheld remote, and works with the app. But I love the Moxie.

I think that's a great guess. Yeah, that's kind of what we're looking for, something for when we're going out in public. Yeah, so this is the winner and then you have to call me and tell me how it goes. That's just all I gotta say. That's all you gotta do to pick it back for the advisor. Okay, happy anniversary.

Sounds great. Thanks, Emily. Thanks, of course. You too. We have an email here from Nicole26 in Washington. I have a question about vibrators. I bought a vibrator a long time ago and it was a literal stimulator. It broke, so I'm looking to buy another. And I'm not sure what to buy.

There's so much out there. What are your suggestions for literal stimulator buy-baders for a decent price? I love helping people buy sex toy. I feel like I could be, I was saying the sex toy was, we were like a sex toy concierge. How can I help you?

How do you work with them? What kind of toy did you try in the past? How do you like to masturbate? So I used to recommend bullets, and I do think that a bullet vibe that sort of looks like a wide magic marker, but it's probably not the size of your thumb. It kind of looks like a big bullet.

I do still recommend those for some people, but what I found that I really like for literal stimulation, because if you think about it, we have 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, and it's not just our little clitoral ball, but you just put a bullet on, it's actually there are nerve endings in the clitoris. And it's not just our little clitoral ball, but you just put a bullet on. It's actually, there are nerve endings inside,

outside the labia. So the tango from Wevibe is a bullet. That's a really great one if you want to replace your bullet. It's powerful, it's rechargeable. You can mine in the shower and it never needs to be charged for some reason and it gets wet. I have a steam shower, it's great. But the other ones I love are ones that cover more

clitoral surface, they cover the surface area of the vulva, and you can pull them in your hand like the Jezou Mimi. It fits in the palm of your hand, it looks like a pebble, like a skipping stone that you might throw across the pond. It's lightweight, it's rechargeable, it's waterproof. This is the J-June Mimi. Wevibe makes one called the Wevibe Touch. You can hold it in your hand and you can have it on your clitoris, but you can also lay it over your labia.

It basically covers more area. So you can stimulate more nerve endings at once. You can also turn it on a point, right? You could also just target your clitoris. You could tease yourself with it. I just like that there's more to play with. You can use it in a lot of different ways. You know, you could put it inside. You're not totally inside of you, but you could kind of put it in your labial a little bit. You could just tease yourself with the ones that have more of a surface area. And you want something that's a decent price. I mean, the toys I'm talking about are about a hundred something dollars.

But here's what I found is that toys break and it's something that you're going to use a lot. And you might as well get one that is rechargeable and waterproof and from a quality company. And I think about other brands like plus one, I know is a brand that makes more reasonably priced toys that are silicone and rechargeable. I don't know which one they have that's the equivalent to this, but I think they're like sold them at Walmart and stuff. So they're they're they're pretty good. I can't vouch for it 100%. But I can tell you

that I've had my Wee Vibed toys forever, and this is a J.J. Mimi, I put in a dryer once, and it's still ticking. So, you know, there is a lot out there, and before you buy a toy, it is something that you want to research, because it's a lot of money. That's an expense, that is a purchase,

but you are worth it it and you deserve it. Alright, more sex with Emily after this break and thank you everybody for supporting our sponsors who help keep this show free. Okay, let's do this email here from Kathy, 45 in Washington. My husband and I have been married for one and a half years. We have two teenage girls. We have a modestly sized home. Our bedroom is in the basement with exposed ceiling.

So there is a little privacy. We typically wait to have sex until later at night or early in the morning when we are sure they are asleep. The only way we can climb acts is using a clitoral vibrator and he's very afraid the girls will hear the bullet I currently have. So right now, I can rarely use it mainly very early in the mornings, and even then, with school, not often. My question is, do you have a Cliddle Vibrator that you'd recommend for being very private, but powerful as well?

My husband is all in on the toys just not the noise. Great question. What are discrete toys, so if you are sharing balls with somebody, your kids are home and let's be honest, there's a lot of kids home right now. They're not in school. They're on Zoom school. And what do you do? And I love the workaround. So there's a few that I recommend. And one that was made, literally made for this situation. It's called the womanizer premium. And the womanizer premium uses this technology

called smart silent technology. And what it does is when the toys turned on, it's working. It's like, but when you are not using it or you pull it away from your body, just a little bit, it shuts off. So it is automatic on off feature that like if someone hears you or walks in the door, it just stops.

And it's really not very loud to begin with. So I think that's brilliant. And then there's one that I looked up for you, KIP, KIP from Dane Products, and it looks like a lipstick, and it's this really cute, yellow vibrator. And I think, you know, we learned this from Coyote, from Good Vibrations, who's been the head buyer of toys for 20 years at Good Vibrations in San Francisco.

And what she said was, you know, we talk a lot about how to buy a toy for the first time vibrations who's been the head buyer of toys for 20 years at good vibrations in San Francisco. And what she said was, you know, we talk a lot about how to buy a toy for the first time and how to know if you like a toy and think about it, you have to use it in a very intimate way. You have to be excited to use it and you want to like how it looks, right? You don't want a toy that you don't like how it looks or it's hard to function. I mean, that's a last thing you want in the sex toy. And so the kit is just a really, I thought it was really cute. It's yellow and bright and looks like lipstick, but it's not.

So it's also discrete and quiet. So I would check out one of those for your quiet pleasure. Along with same theme here, let's talk to Mike 59 and Kentucky. Hey, Mike, what's going on? Hey, I'm like, uh, let me show long time listener, uh, stumble across you with your love line radio show. Oh, amazing. Love. I love you. Oh, thanks. Um, I've got a very complex marriage.

I am high C's very uninhibited inhibited, also ADD, get bored easily, very exploited. Why don't you other than Barry Vanilla also post-traumatic stress disorder, bad relationships and that they ask. Everything started off amazing. They always do. Straight into 50 shades of gray. She loved it. I was uninhibited and creative and all that. But also with ADD, a lot of that is self-medication throughout the hall. And she got to where she didn't feel safe. and she got to where she didn't feel safe. I get that now looking bad, but we've got it under one. It's hot, she's the one to one. Oh, you got the magic wand.

Yes. Got it. Okay. And she loves it. She was afraid I would be intimidated by it. Now, not intimidated at all. And it's a great way to sometimes finish when our, get them to the finish line as well.

Oh, magic wand is a sure thing. Oh, God, yeah, we love the magic wand. Exactly. It is the sure thing. Literally, like, you want an orgasm? And get a magic wand. Yes. Okay.

She's a clearly girl. A lady girl, you know. A clearly girl. I'm feeling you. But I had a weird work relationship because of the schedules that were on. We have different things and will it be those? I don't think she's ever masturbated to be honest with you. How long have you guys been together? My calling of you have been married. Little over genius.

Okay. I do get bored at there are times I am alone. I have my own toys and she is extremely threatened by them. We have no problem with the wonder one, but she has issues with prostate massagers, anything that will take away her, but yet she won't participate with it. Yeah, this is the thing. Now, tell me about the conversations you've had about this with her. I think, you know, what it sounds like,

if there's just a little bit of education that needs to go into this because her belief, it sounds like her belief is that the toy, if you use a prostate toy, that it somehow takes away from the intimacy that you could have together or it's somehow taboo or does she think it makes you gay? Like what's her problem with it? Does she told you? I mean, she was again in the beginning. Everything was awesome.

It's always great in the beginning. Always great in the beginning. That's why we fall love because it's great in the beginning. That's why you stay in a relationship. Then it's not. Exactly. If you don't work on it, I get that. But Alphamau was a self-medicator for ADD back then, and she just kind of speared away from the ham. So you both sober now? Is that what you're saying?

Yes. OK, so when you got together, it was fun, and she was open, and every time you had sex, you guys were drinking. For the most part. Yeah No, this is this is very common when people stop drinking they have to kind of relearn how to be live you'll start drinking Because they have a fear around intimacy and it's we all know you know drinking can be like a lubrication right it can kind of get you You know socially lubricated. And I feel

like there's other things going on here because the fact that she used to be into it, but now she's not for whatever reason. I don't know if it's like too much work for her or she's just saying no, because she doesn't want to participate in it. Are you asking her to use the toy on you? Or you just want to use it when she's down around and she's still not cool with that. She's not based on in the early phases. I was a little out of control with the alcohol. She felt like she couldn't really trust my feedback. Have you guys had therapy around this?

It sounds like there was a lot that happened in the alcohol when you got when you were drinking that impacted trust in your relationship. And that isn't something that you can rebuild just because you got sober. And I would recommend going to see a therapist that you could go to once a week for about a month or two and you'll be able to have these conversations and figure out where you're at right now. We actually started into that and then the wonderful COVID thing came along. Well, you could do it on Zoom. I never stopped seeing my therapist because she's on Zoom.

So you can still do Zoom. They're all doing Zoom now. I would recommend you go back to that because the kind of things you're asking about are so complex. There's so many layers to it that it's not just about the prostate toys, about a lot of other things. Is what I'm hearing? I agree. And so yeah, so I would say call that there was get on the Zoom, do it this week,

do it tomorrow, like make it happen. We wait sometimes about the stuff, like oh, we can wait, no, you can't wait. I want you guys to figure this out. What's still left over? What's still residual? Maybe there's some amends, there's some things that have to happen, okay Mike?

Okay, all right, we both go ahead. Let me know who goes. And I'll leave you some feedback. Okay, please call me, let me know. I'll be here. Thank you. Thank you, thanks Mike. It is, yeah, not easy.

Relationships are just not easy. I really wish we could all just have therapy. It's like you're tune up, and especially if there's been someone, you know, if there's been drinking, and it's like any time trust is broken in a relationship, whether it's like within a fair or, you know, losing trust because of substance abuse, there's a residual impact of that on the relationship. And if you don't repair it, it just festers. It doesn't just because time goes by, doesn't mean it goes away.

It actually can get worse if you've been dealing with that in a relationship. And you're like, oh, a lot of you called in and you're like, oh, but, you know, my partner cheated, but it was like years ago when I'm okay with it. Or I cheated and my wife said that she's fine or we've talked about it or whatever it is. It's just like, have you talked about it? No, they're fine now. They're not fine if you haven't processed it. And that's when therapy really helps to repair.

It's very hard to do a lot of the stuff on our own, which is why I think a lot of relationships don't work. Let's very hard to do a lot of this stuff on our own, which is why I think a lot of relationships don't work. Let's have to Rebecca 38 in Washington. Hi Rebecca. Hi, thank you for taking my call. Of course. What's going on? My question is, foreign and irrogenous zones, I heard that there's several types that women have and as far as other orgasms, like a breast orgasm. And I didn't know if that was true and if that could really happen. And I'm wasting my time exploring something like that to have a different orgasm.

No, Rebecca, you are right on track. In fact, breast gasms are really common for women. It's the same receptors in your brain, your clitoris and your breasts, your nipples are attracted to the same, the sensory cortex in your brain is the same region, right? It sends the same signal, so you would be likely to have orgasms that way. So it just takes a little bit of practice, and maybe you are having an orgasm, or you mean, you're already turned on and aroused, and then you start to play with your nipples

and use some lube, or use a vibrator, or have your partner on and aroused, and then you start to play with your nipples and use some lube or use a vibrator or have your partner play with you there. And then just sort of, the best advice is to let go of expectations. Like, oh, is this happening? Is it snorkeling? Just focus on what you are feeling. And so, yeah, I would definitely focus on that.

And then there's like the secondary origin of zones that we have. I would say that the nipples and the clitoris and the anus, those are and the penis and the vagina. Those are the primary arrogynous zones. But the secondary arrogynous zones are also, I think often ignored.

And if I tell you that, you'll probably recognize them like, oh, that feels good, like the nape of the neck, the inner thigh, the ears, you neck, the inner thigh, the ears, you know, the nose. There's parts of the back of the ears, there's parts that you might not even realize

that feel good, and that's why slow sex and touching and kissing, and maybe someone breathes on your neck, right? Like they lick it, and they breathe on it. So it's like cold air and warm air, and just exploring with a vibrator and mouths. And I mean, there's just an inner elbow. That's also a very secondary rodent zone. Back a year ago.

Yeah. So it's not false information that I've seen or heard people talk about. I'm like, I need to call it and link a show no dancers. It's real Rebecca. Keep playing and exploring. Yeah. Breast gasms are real. I think that women, of course, Rebecca keep me posted. I want to know how goes. Yeah, love it. Great question. Yeah, that's

what of course, you guys, that's what I'm talking about when I say, explore, explore your body. That's what I mean. What if you are somebody who really gets a lot of pleasure from your neck being kissed or your nipples being kissed and you nipples being kissed and you don't are touched. And you just, you don't know because you haven't explored it. Or maybe a partner tried once to pleasure your breast, for example, and it was like someone you weren't into

or you weren't in the mood then, and then you make a decision, maybe you're like, well, I don't like breast play. But what if it was done in a way that was tender and consensual and loving and soft and maybe used a warm massage candle and your partner poured it over your body and then they took that massage oil

and they rubbed it all over you and they used their fingertips and their hands really slowly and just sort of explored and you were able to breathe into that. And you knew that the partner wanted to be there and they wanted to please you. So you weren't worried that you were taking too long and that it was, you know, that you had to get up

and do something to them and you just could receive. And I think that part of exploring your Roger's Sones and knowing it feels good is allowing yourself to realize that you are a sexual being. We're all sexual beings and we all deserve pleasure. And finding a partner who has the same growth mindset around sex is how we will all be set up for sex. All right, I can take a break.

Don't go anywhere. There's more sex with Emily coming right up. I'm going to read an email that I thought was interesting, that covers a lot of the topics that have been coming up lately. This is from Travis, 36 in Utah. Travis says, talking about porn addiction and how it kind of desensitizes men and rewires their brain to the point of ED. Does sex toys and their technology desensitize women? So real sex and oral is boring to women? For example, if the womanizer is marketed as similar or better to the best oral pleasure, wouldn't that take away from any real oral pleasure? If their brain and body is used to

that intensity of pleasure? And furthermore, wouldn't that sex toy eventually get boring? Wouldn't they need further stimulation for orgasm? I hope this makes sense. Thanks. I really love this call because to see mail. Because first off, I do talk a lot about porn addiction. And people are like, oh, porn addiction isn't real or sex addiction isn't real. And I'm not so hung up on labels here at Sex with Emily. But it is true that if porn watching, and this isn't for everybody, and I think a lot of us have healthy masturbation and porn watching habits, that just to clarify that what I mean is that there are some, I hear this more from men than women, but there are some more men who watch a lot of porn, and they keep escalating the intensity of the porn they watch, right?

Like, maybe it's the violence or it's just the stimulation. And they find that that's how they're mostly getting off and getting aroused and getting turned on. And then when they have sex with a partner, they might experience a reptile dysfunction. They might actually not even be craving sex with a partner. And it can kind of rewire your brain. Now let's talk about sex toys for a minute. So he's asking, well, the womanizer, which by the way, is a fantastic sex toy.

It really was revolutionary when the womanizer came out about five, six years ago. It was a delight because being in this industry now for, you know, 15 years, there's been great innovation with toys, but I'd say that the womanizer was really one of the most innovative in this time. And the reason why is because it uses this indirect stimulation, it's called pleasure air technology, it stimulates the clitoris and vulva owners have great orgasms. However, I don't think, and you could call me and let me know, but what I've not heard yet is that a woman said, you know what, Emily, I've decided I'm going to give up sex.

I'm going to leave my partner, and all I want to do is be with my womanizer or be with my toy. And while you can become accustomed to orgasming in the same way, I have had women say, well, I only use this toy or that toy and that's really waking orgasm. And just like men, if you're watching a lot of porn, I would say, okay, well, it's time to dial it back. Because we do get used to certain patterns

with orgasm so that I would say, don't use it for a few days. Try to build up that sensation and touch again using your fingers and see what happens. But as far as woman eventually getting born, I think that toys are a great supplement. And here's why I love toys for women is because first off, there is something called the orgasm gap. And it is real. And heterosexual men, orgasm, most times they have sex, whether it's masturbation or with a partner. For women, we only orgasm about 20% of the time with penetration. So this wide gap is why toys are so helpful for women. You

can use them during intercourse, you can use them with a partner. And so I think toys are great for that. Also, toys can be a wonderful enhancement for couples because when you bring a toy into the bedroom, it's an added stimulation for both of you. It's a kind of like bringing a third in, but it's a lot safer and a lot less drama, but it's a new shared experience. A lot of what things at couples crave in long-term relationships is variety, spontaneity, novelty.

Well, a toy definitely solves that novelty and variety part of the equation. It's simply a new sensation. It is something new that you're trying that you haven't tried before. But I've never heard again from a woman who's like, I totally, since I got all these toys, I never wanted to be the partner again,

and I've decided that I don't need it anymore. So, I don't know that they're actually the same thing, but I do think that what we're talking about is that whether you're only watching porn or you're only using toys, I think eventually we all crave something a little bit different. I don't think that anybody just says that's all I want to do is masturbate for the rest of my life. Toys are also great because they, again, they give pleasure to men. I think so many of us think that toys are just for women, but have you ever tried a vibrator on your shaft?

Have you tried it on your balls? Have you tried it on your perineum? Have you tried it in your prostate? Have you tried it when you're giving a blowjob to somebody? It's such a great additive to all sex acts, because it's another sensation. It's another sensation. And sex is all about enhancing our senses. And so we all know we love sex.

When it's right, why not play with it? Just like there's sensation play with cold and like using ice cubes and using a warming loop, using vibration is another sensation. Okay, let's talk to Lori 37 in Arizona. She likes her toys. Hi, Lori, thanks for calling. Hi, how are you?

I'm good, what's going on? Yeah, I'm just really kind of open about my sexuality. I've experienced a lot of things, a lot of different things. And I really think that being able to express yourself sexually is really an openness and I've been able to share that with other people and opening them up with different sexual things that they might find stimulating. So with me with toys I've been able to find that, and able to orgasm in different ways. It's kind of in mind blowing, right?

So, yes. Tell me. I'm really, really excited about, you know, and letting, like you do, letting other people know that, you know, there's not just full on penetration that takes, especially for women that takes for them to have a really good orgasm. Right. Exactly, Laurie. I feel like I've learned my body so much through using toys. So, you know, my, what kind of other pleasure, other, other orgasms have you experienced with toys? Like, what, what's the been of evolution?

So, I think as women, we're kind of a bit more complex. So I know that like with squirting, I squared it with a partner for the first time. And then after that time, I was like, something is different. And it felt good for me. So I went along and I started using a toy that has more of the curve that would hit the G-spot. So with using, and actually I started to kind of, I'm kind of weird, I'm like, fancy about it.

I started to film myself. I tried to realize the K-what part am I hitting with watching myself using the toy? What part am I hitting that's creating the sensation? So, with using the toy, with the curve on it, of course, for me at least, it's been able to teach me how to square and then open that up to, you know, more play and how I can enhance it with a partner. That is exactly what I'm talking about.

That's great. So you're able to have an internal, an internal, yeah, you're probably talking about like maybe a dual stimulation vibe, like a rabbit vibe or just a curved toy. And it's true, that's how you hit your internal or your G spot as we call it. And I love that you're taking a mirror because then you're actually technically understanding your body. And then when you're with a partner, you can also guide them. So that makes so much sense.

Which does. I have a problem guiding people, but then when I find someone that can do it, I'm like, yeah, it's kind of exciting for me. Yeah, what's the, yeah. You know, the G spot and then the deep penetration. And then there's our clitoria spot to get off. And then I have, I have really good intense anal orgasms too,

which is all insane, but it's great. That's amazing, and this is with toys. Yeah, well, I can do it with toys. And obviously, it's kind of hard, you gotta trust someone, especially with anal. So at home, I started to do it, you know, with toys, yeah, in all areas. So it's like a little orgasm when you hit all of this fun. And then I'm kind of like worn out when I'm by myself, but it's great.

Laura, you are a good time. I mean, I'm here. This is exactly what I, yeah, I sound like my life. I'm like, let me experience this toy. You know, I take toys home sometimes for the weekend. But when we used to go into the office, we get so many, and I have to test them out. And so, isn't it cool that you, yeah,

it sounds like it's really improved your sex life? And then you've also found partners who are willing to play with you. Yeah, I'm saying it probably helps your relationships, because I've found with my partners. If there was ever any hesitation, once I show them the toy, and then they use the toy, they use it toy, they

use it on me, I use it on them. They never say anything again about toys being a detractor or taking away from them. They're always like, don't forget your toy or where's your toy. They get excited too. So I think it's just getting people over the hump of the morning. It's really been a blessing too and kind of a chain subject, but I'd like to put this out there is that I accept people, whoever they are. So with meeting people, even just talking to them, like men, they seem to open themselves

up to me. And maybe they were hiding that they like, you know, simulation, or they want to, you know, wear a women's clothing, you know, simulation, or they want to, you know, wear a women's clothing, you know, different roles. And it's so much of a blessing to me that people are able to open up to me about that. And they can come to me. You know, people are hiding this part of themselves, you know, it messes with their minds, right? So, yeah. I find people able to open up to me. And it's just like for me to go, it's just a blessing for me that they're able to share them.

So with me and be open. Yeah, Lori, that sounds good. Because you're not shaming them, you're not blaming them, you're allowing men to feel safe with you. And as a result of that, you might be the first woman they ever felt that way with. So thank you, Lori.

Yeah, you sound like that. I feel like I want to tell you everything. You sound very open. Thank you for calling. Definitely, I am. Yeah, you sound like that. I feel like I want to tell you everything. You sound very open. Thank you for calling. Yeah, have a great weekend. Enjoy. I press stream for you. Probably get a good time. Bye, Lori. Thanks for calling. That's it for today's episode. See you on Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Sex with Family. Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. Leave me if you got something out of it, they will too.

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