Sex With Emily - Sex With Two Angels (and Emily)

Episode Date: November 2, 2016

Grab your halos, ladies and gents! On today’s show, Emily and co-host Joanna Angel are joined by porn pioneer and trans activist Buck Angel, and things are about to get wild! Buck opens up about his incredible journey as a “man with a pussy,” from finding his early Girl Scout encounters to breaking the mold with trans male porn, to learning to love his vagina! The gang talks penis envy, sexual empowerment and Buck’s new groundbreaking sex toy, before tackling some of your top sex and relationship dilemmas! Whether your divorce killed your mojo, you’ve got the perfect relationship (minus the sizzle in the sack), or you’re curious to hear from one of the most respected trans educators around, it’s time to listen to the angel(s) on your shoulder and tune in! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by porn pioneer and trans activist Buck Angel. Buck is one of the most respected trans educators in the country, and today he's going to take us through his journey. Along with guest co-host Joanna Angel. So, hold on, Angel. I know. Okay.

Meet the Angel. I love it. I just see Joanna skin. Okay, so stay tuned. So, stay tuned. You're going to love the show. Okay, it's true. My sex toy collection is bigger than most. I may or may not have broken some kind of record by now, but that's not really the point.

The point is, my collection started with one very special product, the Magic Wand. I've said it before, but the Magic Wand was part of my life long before it was part of my show. Now it's time to Wand was part of my life long before it was part of my show. Now it's time to make it part of your life, too. For more than 30 years, the Magic Wand has been the trusted toy that women around the world reached for first. Time magazine even selected as one of the top 10 most influential gadgets of all time. The Magic Wand should really be the cornerstone of every sex toy collection.

There's nothing else that comes close. Whether you choose the plug-in power of the Magic Wand original or the corthus convenience of the Magic Wand retargeable, you need to have one in your lineup. Or if you're like me, have both of them. To order yours today, click on the Magic Wand banner on my site or visitwandaoriginal.com. He's got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemlead.com where you can check out God. There's so much cool stuff happening in our website.

Do you know that we update every day with blogs and videos and everything that you need to have the best sex of your life better sex. I believe if you have the question we've answered on our site and also we love when you follow us and all social media. It's all at sex. Family across the board and facebook.com slash sex. Family and most of all not most of all. This is equally as important. Subscribe to the show. When you subscribe to the podcast it really helps us just helps us with everything when you subscribe to the podcast, it really helps us, um, just helps us with, uh, with everything when you subscribe. And also you, when you listen to the show, if you subscribe to a podcast, you can like rewind and go, it leaves your spot. Like, do you guys know this? Like, it leaves where you're at. If you're listening and you're like, oh,

I gotta go to the bathroom and you come back. Like, if you don't subscribe to your podcast, it'll go back to the beginning. So that helps also review the show and, uh, it's like, really, but it's true. It's important. We love you all. So thank you so much. Also, you know how much I love Loop. I love Loop. Do you guys love Loop? I like it. Do you not upset?

I know. I'm upset. Are you loop free and gluten free? I know. I'm already free. I don't use it that often. I do. I use it if I'm doing a very extreme sex act. Okay. Well, this is

the thing. I'm making my my dream loop because Joe, do you guys know Joe? They make loops? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So that is a good loop. Yeah. Their loop is great. We'll give you a little gift bag. Okay. Oh, Joe. That's awesome. I know. We're not giving you. It will get used. I know, dude. Dude, we're going to give you some loop. So Joe asked me though, like, what would your dream loop be? And I was like, they're like, we're gonna make it. So I'm like, wow, God, I mean, I have so many ideas, but I thought, let me ask my listeners. So if you go to sexwithelme.com, slash dream loop,

take a short survey, it'll take you like three minutes. Your responses will help Joe create a brand new loop that we all designed together. Plus, 10 lucky participants will receive a Joe package worth a hundred dollars. And they send like, these packages, we a hundred dollars and they send like these packages We have so many they send me best gift packages. They don't just make loobs. They make like skin care loads And all this stuff so go to sector that only dot com slash dream loop or click on the dream loop banner today

Okay, we were already having a show with a show before the show. Yeah, I'm interested in the loop Yeah, I know I know I'm using coconut oil as loob. Yeah. A lot of people do that. That's good for you actually. You know, transmit a lot of times to get very dry from using testosterone because basically it's like going to get wet. Oh yeah. Right. And so I'm working actually right now on a loob specifically for transmit. I should use it. Yeah. Right. No, we never, we're, yeah. It's the same thing, but we get it at such a higher level because the testosterone literally dries you out. Yeah, that makes so much sense.

So up until now, what would you be using like a silicone? So I like silicone, but not everybody likes that. I like silicone. Yeah, so do I. I know. Water-based tends to dry out. Water-based. I sometimes keep reapply, reapply, reapply.

I know. I know. I sometimes I'm like, what's the point of using lube if it's just, I know. Exactly. You're just like pushing a whole bunch of times. I think it's just made for people who are allergic to silicone. Yeah.

And I believe that silicone Lube had a really bad PR team or something, or water-based Lube people went after it and they just bashed silicone Lube for so many years. I thought it was bad too when I started. I was like, oh, or I thought it was like not. It's a barrier. And especially bad for porn. If you're going to be like, water-based.

It is. Yeah. Right. If you're going to get, you can't be like, that's not. Wait, hold on. Yeah, you need silicone if you're gonna get, you can't be like, that's hot, wait, hold on. Yeah, you need to be a giant dick in your house. You've a giant dick in your house. And you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna like a big thing of lube and I was like in a rush and then I brought it home and then I like saw that on the bottom very small it's a water based and I was like god damn it!

And it was like even on set like people were like do you have lube do you have lube and I was handing people lube and they would look at it and they're like do you have silicone lube like no one in my life. Oh my god wait until you come into my my sex closet. It's it's a unless it's someone who's allergic to silicone. True and some people that's why you gotta find out what kind of lube works for you. We sell all the joe lubs on my website as well. You what? I don't want anything to do with that water-based loop now I hate this but for some women they are like you know some

Gena's are like sensitive so you got to deal so that's why you can just do like a try it out I Like it's all process I know I Can I have a copy I know you're so wait right on I know exactly shop to no like we're yeah Yeah, so many things talk about Joanna's amazing skin Joanna looks friggin amazing We're assessing about her skin

But um buck so I did a little light introduction of you and we're going to get into more about who you are and What you're all the amazing things you're doing and the pioneer that you are and all the great stuff that's happening But in your life and in your world And I'm so happy to be sitting with you because for I feel like for years I've been like Buck Angel has got come the show and did done here you are and I like that So we're going to get into that we're going to read your emails But first I got a little sex in the news. I'd love you guys to help me here. Get your thoughts.

The seven best times to have sex throughout the day. You probably don't need another excuse to have sex, but it turns out that certain occasions like after a workout or before a big presentation, there are bonus benefits to getting it on. So tell me you guys think of these. They say before a big presentation, they say research shows that having sex calms your nerves, lowers blood pressure and reduces stress. I believe that totally. Yeah. Because I include masturbation. I guess so. Probably does. My cousin is a very like big-time radiologist. And she actually told me that she always insists on having sex

before she has to give big presentations to like, oh, interesting. She has teach classes. She always does. That's smart. So I feel like I'm always too stressed out to have sex. That's exactly what you need to have. Yes, that's the point. Right. In the morning, in the morning, your body was made for morning sex. I love morning sex. Me too. Tested out. Is it part of getting older? No, I start liking morning sex better. made for Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex.

I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I love Morning Sex. I always like it. I always like it. I always like it.

I always like it. I always like it. I always like it. I always like it. I always like it. I always like it. I always like it. I always like it. I always like it.

I always like it. I always like it. I always like it. I always like it. I always like it. I always You know what I mean? Like if nothing else happens that day, you're like, I had to. Yeah, you said it's more loving for some loving. I don't know. That's why you do like the spooning positions. Yeah, you just wake up together. I like that too. Okay, when you feel cold coming on, it may seem counterintuitive,

past research suggests that having checked can actually boost your immune system. That I haven't heard. I have a great immune system. I don't know. Because you're so healthy. I actually do have a good immune system, now that I'm thinking.

What are you genetically perfect now? Oh, thanks Joanna. Come on the show. She's not real. She's not real. I love it here. I love that your boyfriend said that you look like you're just Photoshopped.

You Photoshopped yourself. I used to have really bad skin, but it's been a working project and I figured out her skin. I never heard that. I've known you for 15 years. I've never heard that. But know you're from 15 years. Yeah, you're beautiful. But anyway, two weeks into her cycle, past research suggests that around two weeks into her menstrual cycle,

her clearest goes up to 20% bigger, becomes engorged, more easily, translation she may orgasm easier on this particular day. I'm trying to think if I've, I'm trying to think if I know that that's your more sensitive at that time, I'm trying to think if like I've, like, but what about actual period time? Don't you remember feeling super sensitive when I was on my period?

Yeah, yeah, like a lot of people do. I know a lot of women do. I, I don't, I don't like the same before. I do get right. Cramps and stuff. Right. But like, I don't know. Oh, do you masturbate when you have a cramps?

I used to do that. Yeah, no, that helps too. I should. No, we still do. Actually, no, that helps too. I should. No, we start to get actually that's something I've talked a lot about on the show too, because it kind of released, when we've got depression. It's good for your skin.

Maybe that's it. No, really. Do you think you have so many orgasms? But now you get really good skin. I have so good skin. God. Because she just hang it's the cream, but we don't believe in her.

I'm going to start a whole new kind of cream. Thermatologist. I'm just a good scan. Because she just hang it's the cream, but we don't believe in her. I'm gonna start a whole new kind of cream. Thermatologist. Yeah. Okay. After you hit the gym, your body pumps out testosterone, crucial sex hormones. So when you exercise your desire will be higher after a sweat session.

I agree. Like, when I come back from working out and stuff like that, I'm into like, I want to bang for sure. After a bad day. So I feel like, when is sex bad, though? I know, right? They're basically saying basically, just have sex. Right. You're having a bad day or leaving stress feel like when is sex bad though. I know right? They're basically saying basically just have sex. Right. You're having a bad day, we're leaving stress. Okay, we just get, you know,

we're leaving stress for days to come, working out the tension and frustration, and then also after doing something scary, you're already exhilarated. You're like, what? Like going to an outdoor roller coaster, zip line. Nothing scares me. Here's a thing right. I lost my car and the parking lot right now Nothing scares me Oh my god, well masterbiter on a real poster. No, I have you master We had a roller coaster I'm magic mountain Really fast ride I won't you look last week 15 How old were you last week? 15.

You're the one. That's an obsessive masturbator when I was a kid. Really? Really? And now you're not? No, I still am. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm an obsessive masturbator.

But like, is a, um, okay, we're going to get to it. Let me wrap this up. Yeah. The point is, I just think that we're saying is that just forget about that. Just have sex work. If you can, if you're not, if you've no one have sex, of course, sex with yourself, it's fine. I think that having an orgasm, tension, and labor,

it's kind of like a mini-meditation. I feel like it resets me all the time. And I'm like, why haven't I been doing this? Like, I have to like step over sex toys in my house to get through things, and I still won't be masturbating. So, you know, do it. Just have some masturbating. Knock it out.

Okay. So, right. That's true. Good advice. Okay have some master's. Knock it out. Okay, master's, we don't have sex. Right. That's true. Good advice. Okay. Buck. Hi.

Hi. How are you? I'm good. So glad you're here. So if you buck Angel, you can find them at Buck Angel. Uh, at Buck Angel, Instagram Twitter, Facebook.com, official buck Angel. I saw your Facebook live thing today. All right, I thought that was cool.

Do you do that every day? I do the beacup What's that? That's morning coffee with buck. That's so awesome It's so great and I do it for my community because there's a lot of really bad hate stuff How can we talk about okay? Let's just people let people don't know you I gave you like your bio We got that for a bio, but let's talk about who you are and the hate and all that stuff in the love Yeah, yeah, I love I'm about oh no, you're all about love, but you used to hate the one who wanted to be white.

Not with me specific, but within my community of the truth. You have to say the trans queer community can be oddly enough, a little bit judgmental, it's very strange. And sometimes there's a lot of wonderful people in that community. I mean, I love you. I love Gisley. Beautiful.

You know, you're're both very inspiring people. But then sometimes when I'm around people in that community, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. Like that you're going to say the wrong thing. I'm going to say the wrong thing. So okay, you're so right. No, it's true. And especially the porn I make, I like making comedies.

It's what I've always been. I think a lot of people who make comedies in general do have a problem with wondering if they're going to offend people. Right, it's true. That is, it's just common. I like adding humor to my porn. That's just what I've always liked to do. It's brilliant.

Everybody's got their own thing. And that's just what I make. So people get angry with you. I've gotten some hate. I've gotten a lot of love. But I do find that it kind of reminded me when I was younger and I you know I was in very heavy and like the punk scene and it's like you kind of join the punk scene because you're like an Outcast from regular society, but then within the punk scene every buddy's very judgment

So you go for who's punk and who's not and then I feel like that's kind of the same thing that goes on in this. Exactly. I just call it the queer, you know, community. And it's supposed to be a place of love and an exception. You feel like you'd all be bitchin'. But I'm glad you said that, because since I'm not engrossed in that world, I didn't want to be the one to make a judgment. No, no, but you're making a hundred percent sense.

Yeah, and it's like, you know, what is this? I'm sorry, we don't all know exactly what we're supposed to call people. No, it's changed too. We all just talk and have sex and have fun. And this is why the rest of the world comes to me. Right. You have to solve this problem. Because you are the ambassador.

And I want to take that job on because this is the way it is. Exactly what you're saying, Joanna. First off, I do everything with humor. I talk about myself with humor. I'm gonna be a man with a pussy. I'm gonna be a man with pussy. Right. I'm not gonna take myself back that literally like that serious. It's ridiculous. I'm funny.

But that's the way that I educate the world. Do you know how many fans I have outside of the transgender community? I would say the majority of my fan base is outside of the transgender community Right is there any um particular community where your fans like gay men for sure gay men have the reason they're sitting here It's a gay man. Well, it's just because they understood sexuality at a level They get it at that level but trans matter fight, but but you just think there wouldn't be such divisiveness like We're all going through this. We all know how hard it is. Ego. Ego.

So what is the hate? So what is the hatred? So the thing is this, I'll tell you for my, for my self, specifically, I've been doing this work for 15 years. I put myself out there as a voice, as a voice of change, not as a voice of trans. That is not the way that is not who I am when I do. I'm a human rights activist,

somebody who wants to create change around sexuality, around your body, around acceptance. And so for some reason, the trans community thought I was a representation of the trans community from day one. From day one, I've always called myself the man with the pussy. I've never said I was a trans man. I never said I represent it. Is it because that's the term that wasn't the word? It's because I feel like I haven't really even, I mean, you know, you would hear the term like she's trans.

Yeah, always meant like a right. Tranny is a term that was pitch. Tranny's a term. Yeah, I've been here. It's now a derogatory, but then it was now it's derogatory. But it's not. It depends. We are.

context. Right. Where used to be direct. We're used to be to right now now it's conversation that is such a great and important conversation. Yes, let's have it. There's a lot of people outside of the community. Yeah, right.

And Tranny is a derogatory word now, only because it has been used against trans women, specifically as a derogatory statement. Okay, within a pornography business, nothing but respect for Tranny. Of course, nobody's sitting here and having a show there. Right, to show you. But now what they're trying to teach people is that using the word tranny is a

derogatory statement. Okay, what do you call what do you call the women on the new trans trans woman trans trans trans man trans man. Right. Basically trans is the is the is the short part of transgender. Right. That's all it it is it's just calling a person a transgender person Right and I'm gonna say transgender Because I was I was a trans but I said transgender somebody like you can't say because I use this you can People are insane Right, oh right

Oh, it's not trans gender, but it was right It's not trans gender but it was It's transgender trans gender, but I don't remember why it was like in the night All I'm saying is at least I'm talking about it right people that's saying that people are so like I don't understand Like you know, right, so let's talk about there's no conversation look we're having a conversation right now And the reason why I'm telling you what what the rest of the world comes to me It's because I'm willing to have the conversation if you fuck up and say the wrong thing. Can I say fuck up? Yeah, yeah, I only say that I want if you fuck up and say to me Tranny

What do I do wait a minute here my friend Tranny is actually not a cool word to use anymore And so we just don't really talk about that, right? Okay. Cool. You got it. I don't go, Oh my God. You just said, Tranny, you're the devil. You're evil. Guess what happens? You completely shut yourself off to learning what I just said. It's like that. Right. Exactly. And people who get so angry that I'm going to take the Twitter. I'm going to find it's like, why not take that energy and do something positive? Because in my community of friends, people are victim, their victims, they

what they've done is they victimize themselves. Not the whole community. There's a huge amount of the community who are like me, wanna create change, who are loving and beautiful. There's a part of the community who continues to victimize themselves and say, I'm not this, I'm bad.

So why are they mad? Give me a little bit of the exact same. They're mad at me and yeah, let's have that conversation. Let's just do that. I don't wanna speak for the community. Let's get that out. Okay. For me specifically, they're upset at the fact

that I'm so out there and I have such a large voice that I created on my own and that they don't like the way that I am representing them. Because why? Give me an example. OK, so I'll give you a great example. What's happening right now? Because if you guys understand me, I'm an activist.

And what an activist does is they push the envelope. That's what an activist does. So what I've done is as we know, Trump and Hillary are running for the president of the United States. Yes. So I'm anti-Trump. I don't know about you guys,

but I'm anti-Trump. I don't really care what you guys are. That's your choice. So that's sad. That's a pretty common thing to be anti-Trump. Yes. That's sad, but you'd be surprised. You'd be surprised.

There's people in my community that are voting for Trump. Yeah, be surprised. There's people in my community that are voting for Trump. Yeah, I look fine. There's people in every community that are shocked. So, the game in general is good for her. Good for her. It all comes down to money. But there you go. So anyway, I made a picture, which I'll show you here in a second.

And that picture is basically is a picture of me. And what did Trump say recently? Didn't he say something about it? Oh, gosh. What did he not say? I was saying bad nasty woman. Yeah, bad ombre. Right.

So he said something really nasty. And it was not okay. So I posted this. Yeah, I love that one. I love that. I like the whole world loves it. But guess who doesn't love it? Trans men.

What? So why? I'm going to show that is like, OK, so so I'm just I think you buy this on your Instagram It's it's a picture of handsome buck. He's a handsome buck. Hey Trump grab my pussy. I dare you buck angel He's like wearing a wife beat or he's got a strong arms and Yeah, cuz Trump did come out and say like what is it? I said I grab grab a pussy I was a grab the right the pussy so so that people get mad about that because you're because because it's a pain. It's just me come. But wait.

My person is eight. One woman got mad at me. He was challenging. One woman got mad at me. Trans men got mad at you. Trans men. So this trans man writes this thing about me and he says, how dare you use your toxic masculinity. That's what he called me toxic masculinity. Because why? Because he's because I'm threatening. What are you threatening? But what they're saying is that I'm perpetuating this idea exactly. Well, there's so many elections. It's not about the election. Look, we go back to this. But it's mine. Here's a thing. It's not about the election. Look, we go back to this. But it's mine.

Here's the thing. But they upset because a lot of trans men have the surgery, right? They might get a penis. And you've decided to, you're right, they might, they might not. And I would think that the majority don't, right? Yes.

They keep their vagina. They're pussy. Yes. So if that's the case, and it doesn't even matter what the case is, they want it to be like on the down low like yes, we have a pussy But we don't talk about it. Why do you talk about it? Exactly. That's exactly it But that doesn't yeah because they're kind of like we're a man

There is a whole load of men with pussy's now tons of them right when I transitioned we didn't talk about it I was the first guy you were going to run who the hell would you talk to that now? There's hundreds of not thousands of, hundreds of thousands of them. But there's also hundreds of thousands of men who don't want to talk about it as their pussy. Because they're a man and how they're a man, they think I'm a man. Exactly.

And all of that is fine. That's fine. Here's the deal. You're not saying show me your pussy. You're like, here's my pussy. Did I say all trans men? No. And then I say, this is about trans men.

Okay, I get it. So what they did is they took my photograph and they became completely upset because they think I'm representing them. Not only did they try to call me out on my toxic masculinity, they tried to call me out on being cisnormative. Do you know what cisnormative is? Okay, cisnormative.

Yeah, cisgender means I'm a... Yeah, someone who identifies with the... Are the gender you were born in. So they call me cisnormative meaning that I try to look like a cisgender person. And then they call me passing, which means that you're a person who can walk in the world and nobody knows your transgender.

But isn't that the one you've been a man for 20 years? I am a man. I am a man. So eventually you're gonna get really good at looking like a man. And I'm not trans, I'm a man. You're a man. It is different. It is different. Okay, so

I don't even want to give these people anymore. I just needed to let you know. I get it. This is what I do. Let's talk about it. Right. So divisive. I mean people yeah in every community like that there is just because I am a voice you guys know that I'm gonna The loudest voice you are. You are the voice. You emanate nothing but love and happiness. Yes. Thank you. And I try to do the same thing. You do it. You do.

You do it. I never stepped into the porn industry thinking I was better than everyone else trying to hate on everyone else. I just wanted to be part of it. Why everybody loves you. That's why I like it. That's why everybody. I wanted to be part of it.

But I wanted to do things my own way. I've always been gracious with your time. You've always been really when I first started to met you or always kind to me, you were never like, that's weird or you're cruel. Never. Never. But people are still going to say mean things about you. Yeah. Because they're jealous. I made a movie and I will say this piece of people. I made a movie this year and it's called, I mean, two of my very closest friends, they're like a married lesbian. You know, Nikki and Mary and Lesbian couples are like my best friends, I love them.

Good people. And, you know, and they're both two women married to each other and they, they like very, very rarely have sex with men, like once in a blue moon. I think it's because they have sex. Yeah, no, no, they have sex on that time. I heard that story.

Like, once in a blue moon, like a very lucky guy will have a three-some of them or something, like if the mood is right. But they both do like doing boy girl porn from time to time. And I don't know, I made a movie about them called Dykes Taking Dicks.

It's the best. And people got so angry. You were all you were all right. All people from the queer community who are so angry, somebody said that title promoted rape because that implied that any man could go up to a lesbian and rape her. And I was like, okay, okay, okay, excuse me.

Right. I make comedies. Right. And I'm just kidding to these voices. Yeah, I make comedies. I was like, I don't know, people might not like joke. And I'm sorry if my joke offended you and I'm sorry if you don't find the

joke funny and I get it. Some jokes are going to hit and some aren't and I apologize and I don't mean for my jokes to offend people but sometimes they're going to be like, but you cannot say it's causing rape. That is really like say that's gross. Say that's okay. I want to hear more about that but can you just say no. I like dikes taking dicks.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Can they get it and your, yeah, you can get it on burning angel and it's girl like hot lesbian girls. And sure, I want it. Girls like and diet. It's even like right. I don't understand.

Yeah, but listen, you guys, what we do, sex sex them. I mean, I sex them. It's what I do. You guys we all do things that are a little controversial. We have to just have those voices are not I don't even listen like I don't even have to continue to push the all raw people to you know we want people sex to become normal we want people to talk about sex people don't talk about sex they don't know how to talk about it they don't understand it so okay I want to know, Bucsar, you transitioned from female to male 20 years ago. Okay.

And so tell me when, like, where are you born? Los Angeles, California, in the valley. I was actually a valley girl. It was so funny, Tully. No wonder why you didn't want to be a girl anymore. I got kicked out of Girl Scouts for having sex with other Girl Scouts. I got busted in the tent. Oh, so hot. Yeah.

Totally. So you were always attracted to it. Always. I identified as a lesbian. I wouldn't have felt like a lesbian. I mean, God, I can't remember since I was 13 or 14 years old, really just being into women and being so, like, shamed about it. Right. I mean, even at that time being a lesbian wasn't that sad.

No, nobody even knew about it. You know, I said I felt like a boy and my parents actually raised me like a boy. They told me like, fuck, dress me like a boy. Because you said it. You were like, I'm wearing pants today. And they were cool. I love your parents. My parents are amazing, but the problem was their friends. No, it's always about right.

Yeah, their friends were cool. So what did you, you must have, God, no matter your childhood? I had a horrible childhood. Horrible childhood. I tried to kill myself many times. I was alcoholic. At 16, I was a raging alcoholic. I was a cutter.

Oh my God. You see all the scars on my arm. I used to cut my face, my arms, everything. You work uncomfortable in your own skin. Hey, you know. And all they kept telling me was you're a gay woman. It was a doctor, a man. You're a parent, Steve.

I'm sorry, but there was still this high class. They put me in a mental hospital because I tried to kill myself so many times and they wouldn't listen to me They were like you're a lesbian. I'm like no, I'm not I'm a man Yeah, you just Amazing that you kept going. Yeah, I'm very lucky to be here. It's why I don't care what people say about me Yeah, right. That's why I don't pay that right because my mission. I'm clearly here for a reason you guys I know it sounds all who I'm clearly here for a reason you guys. Right.

I know it sounds all, woo! No! I'm a believer of energy, I'm a believer of why people are in the space at the same time. Right. You create your environment. I told you, really? I told you, really? And I'm a survivor.

What I said earlier is, my community victimizes themselves. I'm a survivor. I'm not a victim. Right. Different mentality. You're also different, please. You're like, like, you said, trampol. And trampol, I'm old.

That's right. You would do an amp for a while. trampol I'm old. That's right. I'm like, shit down. You would do an effort a while. But um, so then what happened? So you're like, okay, mom, I'm going to go get like what was the moment where you're like, I am a man and I am doing this. Yes. And so really through a whole childhood blah blah blah, then I ended up being homeless. I ended up actually becoming a model in as a female.

I was a model. Yeah, I was a model. Yeah, so you posted some of those model. I want to see the picture. Wow. I was put it on Instagram. It's totally amazing. Some of his old modeling pictures. Oh my gosh. You looked like a hot lesbian. It looked like Nikki Hart. I hated it. Like a super hot. I hated it. I hated it. And anyways I got really hardcore into drugs when I was over in Europe and then I ended up not. I was literally on the verge of becoming a supermodel. And then I did it, take my train to Paris.

Yeah, you totally looked like where you literally did your train. I was wasted on acid and coke and everything and I missed the train. And literally, physically missed the train. Wow. And that was it. And they sent me home.

It's a kind of a metaphor as well. Yeah, they sent me home. And at home, I had nothing. I thought it was a very disowned. I was, same. But then you, at home, I had nothing. I thought you were like, oh, you're the sound to me. My everyone just owned me. I was homeless. I was living in West Hollywood on the streets, doing blow jobs and hand jobs in the car with older men as a little boy,

because they would pick me up. How old were you? I was in my late 20s. OK. Wow, late 20s for you transitioned. OK. So then, wow. But your dress is a boy. It right totally like very, you know, baseball

cap, right? Okay. So then what had you were just and then finally one day some guy took me home I should have never done that and I almost got killed. Wow. He almost got killed and he almost raped me and killed me and I just did the deed really quick and I said, please take me back to the donut shop and that's when I literally had an awakening. I said, if I do not get myself out of this, I'm going to die. Yeah. And my ex-girlfriend at the time picked me up and got me sober. And from that day on, I've been sober. And through sobriety, I had this awakening.

And I said, I need to become a man. And I found a therapist after many years of therapy. And she, I've said to her after literally one month of sitting in that office, not saying a word every session. after every session she would go okay time's up and so finally the last time I came in and I said crying I just started crying and I just said you know what I feel like a man and she said but why don't you tell me that and I said because everyone else I said it to said no and she said to me I believe you I believe you it's amazing she saved my life

she saved my life. Wow. She saved my life. You're 30. Yeah. No, I was in my late 20s at the time. It wasn't far from me being homeless and getting sober. And within one or two years of sobriety, I started taking it.

And then I was telling Joanna earlier, there were no hormone doctors in LA. Nothing. And then through her, we found a hormone doctor who only worked with trans women. 30 years of trans women. And he said to me, I will help you, but I don't know what I'm doing. You call me sunny. I don't know what I'm doing, but you'll be my guinea pig. Wow.

Literally he said all of the guinea pigs. Why? Because it's not, it's not his comments. He's never done before. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. But you were at least in Los Angeles.

Yes. Or something because I never would have. Then you transitioned. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it.

No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No one did it. No I have that. That's what I said, I have that. And so he said, well, let's experiment. I've never done this before. Second time, I'm like, well, okay, he's like, there's this new surgery from Belgium.

I'm gonna try it on you. I'm like, okay. I was like a total experiment. So that you got your head on the other side. I had surgery and I only underneath my aeryl, and that's why you don't see any scars. Because he made this amazing surgery. From that moment, and that was really reborn.

Wow. I was reborn, you guys. And through that, I started calling my parents, and I started having a conversation. They were like, oh, that's the problem. I get it, right? And they got it. And my whole life changed.

Wow. That's amazing. You were like the first one that, I mean, that everyone knew about, because then you started, when did the porn start? 10, about 10 years. And after my transition I got into making porn but it was sort of more about

making fun to so how old were you when you made your first porn so I was I'm 54 now so yeah 54 so I know I'm old so really I didn't start making porn into my 40s what I used to lie about my age back in the day and I said when I become 50 I'm gonna out myself and then when I became when I was 15 people were like What? Yeah, I got so too I got really 40 So right? That's okay. Yeah, so then you you may pour a bit and you show it so it was the first trans porn, right?

Yeah, the first trans male porn in the world Yeah, I created a man with a show There's still not that much of it hardly any there isn't there really isn't right there's trans women There's James darling and San Francisco's a couple queer. There's pink and white. They do some quit They do some trans but nothing like me. I'm still the guy who does it produces it But it's still been still producing. Yeah, I still produce I do a series called sexy in the trans Which is more like docu that's a docu porn. It's right. It's docu porn. That's yeah, it's sexy though Cuz you're like you you find men I went to the educational side of porn.

And I decided to keep mine. Well, what I wanted to do was reach a group of people that don't necessarily watch porn, because I have such a fan base of non porn. So I realized I need to reach those people in a way that they can also understand how important sex is. Sex is everything. Exactly.

It's not just about you get it maybe through the trans, but then they're teaching you about sex. It makes you more comfortable with yourself. Transitioning. Can you imagine transitioning with a vagina and now you think you're you're a man all the way but you still have a vagina. Yeah. It's not easy. No. And so as you know I'm very very okay with my vagina and myself. Right. And so I thought sex is the thing that was the last part. Do you only have sex with women? No, no, no, I'm totally bisexual. 100%. You have sex with men, men, women, everywhere.

And how is it usually date, men, or women? Mostly I date and have a relationship with women. Yeah, straight women. I bet that you had a girl. I had a wife for 11 years. I went through a horrible divorce. Oh, sorry. But who cares?

I feel like that's, I met her a couple times. But the women, and they identify as straight. My new lady friend now is actually a lesbian. Okay. She's a very well-known lesbian. Her name is Winnieveer Turner. She wrote American Psycho. Oh, yeah.

She did the hard word. She wrote the L word. The Moody. The TV show. Yeah, the TV show. She was like the, wow. That's like, she's like the lesbian thing. She's like super, she did go fish.

Do you remember that movie? Yes. That's one of the first lesbian fish. Do you remember that movie? Yes, I do that was one of the first Films I told you remember that and I remember her name when you said that I remember on the screen I saw the cast girl. I started the cast. I used to have pretty cool. Yeah, so what we're talking about Her even her identity as a lesbian isn't isn't Interfeared by our relationship because I'm totally respect her as a lesbian She is a lesbian, but we have our own type of relationship and that's really a big message.

There is people are sexual like and people are attracted to people. I'm attracted to women, you know, I'm like having sex with women. I've never, I've never really dated a woman. If one day I woke up and decided to do that, do I need a whole new label? No. No, it doesn't. I hate all the label. As it matter, it's dangerous. It's dangerous. One of my cousins, she was dating a girl. She just happened to have like a really good chemistry

with this girl. And then when her and that girl broke up, everyone was trying to get her to go to all these Lesbian bars and meet new women in this night. She's like, I'm not a Lesbian. I just really liked that girl. Right. That's over.

I don't know. And if I meet another girl like that, I don't know. Right. I think people just have everybody if I made another girl like that, I don't know. I think people just have everybody wants to put something in this little box. It's true. You don't know who you're going to be a child. To simply know. Right.

So a lot of the work that you're doing now, you're going around and speaking. All over. Yeah. And you're traveling all over the world. And what are you mostly speaking about? Because it's like accepted body positivity. Well, I speak about learning how to love yourself and that comes through sex and that comes to understanding your body.

Yes, totally. The positive right body and the positive body positivity. And also, I talk about what does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a man? It is a question I cannot answer nor any man ever answers that. It's the wrong answer. It's true. It's the wrong answer. It's for every person to make up for a new man And I talk about really about how I learned to love my vagina

How did you cuz I know women who were right so many women don't love their vagina And it's incredible because I was on the Tyra bank show not I mean long ago, right and she that she tricked me And I got on the stage and she says to me, oh, so you have a vagina acting like I don't, I'm like, yes, she goes, and you love your vagina? I said, yes, I love my vagina. And she made the most disgusting weird face. And the whole audience was like, and I look, and I said, this is my opening. What did you do? What did you do? I went to her like this. Oh, wait, you don't love your vagina and her face dropped because I busted her. Right. I busted her and she was like, nah, I don't love my vagina. And I was like,

brilliant. That's so awesome. It was awesome because she's so smart. She realized how important what she just said. And then I became her most important guest. She said, really? Yes, I became free. She didn't think of her audience. But she realized what she was, she's a feminist. She's a feminist. And she realized, oh my God, I don't like my vagina. A man loves his vagina. And I don't like my vagina. How powerful is that?

Exactly. So how do you teach women? Then how do you do that? What do you say? I know I talk about the show about here. For me, it's always about my process was sex and that's why I really really tell Tell me more than that. So really I'm gonna have sex I hate it in my vagina. I hated it hated it didn't want to have before you transition or decision

You think of getting the surgery always I always wanted to have a piece. So even when I was a woman I said you when I sex so the surgery didn't exist it was not it was there But it was not in any way. I want a penis like a cisgender man. I want a penis like a pea. Can you get a penis? You can't get a penis. No, they haven't.

I mean, you can get them, but they're not. Like, you can get rid of a penis. But you can't actually put a penis on, but it's not what you think it is. It's not. And I don't want to just respect any trans men out there who have it. It's their decision and their choice,

but this is my story. And for me, it wasn't good enough. I'm a perfectionist. I'm a perfectionist and needs to be perfect. And then, so I started having sex. But Kay, what kind of sex? So I started having sex with partners secretly, not telling other people and being very, very like secret

about it. Do you like penis and we having sex with men? So then I started meeting men. And I started having this desire to have sex with men where I never had that Interesting and I'm like oh my god. I'm gay. This is totally weird Totally weird and I started becoming like son of homophobic kind of phobic to myself I can't be gay

So weird and then so I started meeting man and the men were weird men This is 15 years ago. I started getting weird with me and they're like, well, you don't really, because I'd be honest about it. I always disclose that I have a vagina and they'd be like, what? I have a vagina and they're like, and they're like, no, not interested.

Nope, not interested. These are getting really not interested at all. They're not interested at all. So I know. Well, they already like, they're just, they're focused on the penis. Right, but right. Like most men.

And then finally, I started meeting men who were, okay, I'm gonna try that. Yeah, I'm gonna try that. And then literally from that, guys just started getting into it and I started having amazing sex. I'd never had sex with a man before I became a trans, before I transitioned. Ever.

So was a man you were having sex with then straight men. Gay. Gay. They were gay men who had never had their penis inside of a vagina. Exactly. And guess what they kept doing? It's so fascinating. They kept knocking on my door. Too much. inside of them. Exactly. And guess what they kept doing?

It's so fascinating. They kept knocking on my door. Too bad. Because you're a man, but they're like interesting. It's like something new. And also, the men that put their penis in a mirror, the join is made to have sex. Yes, true.

So they were like, oh, my God. They were all the other men that were having sex, so there's only one of them. They were only sex. Dude, you know, you must have been blowing up. Did you just have to like, blowing up? And then I started escorting a little bit and that got weird.

Yeah. Got weird and too weird for me. And I was like, you know, this is too high maintenance for me. I'm not your babysitter. Right. Like, let's just have sex and move on, but it wasn't like that. And anyway, so that's how really honestly, when I say sex, I'm telling you,

what I did is I released in my head. And this is really what women have to hear from me right now. Yes, tell me. What I released from my head, and this is really what women have to hear from me right now. Yes, tell them. What I released from my head, that my vagina is bad, that my vagina is dirty, that my vagina smells, that my vagina isn't worthy, and that my vagina isn't mine. These are the things that I really took away, and it's called brainwashing.

Yeah, it's really... I was brainwashed. Okay, as a woman I was brainwashed, Okay, as a woman, I was brainwashed, and I was even brainwashed even more as a man with a vagina. So then I was like, you know what? I have suffered for 20 something years in this body, and look at how I've made my body, sculpted my body,

made sure my body, and the only thing that's gonna hold me back is my vagina. No, right. That's what I said to myself. The only thing that's gonna help me back, I'm. That's what I send to myself. The only thing that's gonna help me back, I'm tired of being embarrassed about myself because my sex was secret. I never told anybody about it.

And only the partners that I was having sex with. So that's how, wow, I'm actually shaming my own self. I just really honestly got tired of worrying what the rest of the world thought of me. And that is also a thing that women have to hear from me right now. Exactly. You cannot worry what other, the only way you're gonna get anything is by taking care of me. And that is also a thing that women have to hear from me right now. Exactly. You cannot worry what other, the only way you're going to get anything is by taking care of yourself. That's it. That's true. No one else is talking to. Sex comes from you. Yeah.

If you're not having good sex, it's because you're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. Exactly. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're not having good sex. You're I always tell women like if you got to take a yes to it whatever it gets a beautiful thing You know the most amazing thing is I have the most awesome sister Okay, she's so amazing and you know what we have the most amazing sex conversations and I I've really helped my sister Learned to love her body as a woman and it is she says thank you so much She just met this guy my sister's in her 50s and she met an older man It's like can you imagine how do you start having sex at it? You own older a I said conversation So you can't really sat down with that guy, they got tested. They completely started having sex. And she said, I've been telling him how to sex. And

he told me, it's the best sex he's ever had. That's so amazing. That's amazing. Yeah. So that's what women need to hear right now. Conversation, dialogue, take control of your vagina. It's yours. Right. Exactly. Your response will for your own orgasms. I think. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of it. You're part of your it's Buck Angel dot com. All right. Okay. Um, well, your story's fascinating. My story's insane. I love it. And I love it. Because you're a model and a pioneer. There's no one else like you and you are, you are an angel, you're both angels. Um, do you guys, do you help me answer some e-bals from from the people? I love my listeners. Okay. So we're going to take a quick break. Thank you, everybody for supporting my sponsors. Because you know, I would never, ever talk about a product

or a service that you did not need that I've not tried myself. And it helps keep the show free. And I love you all. So thanks, we'll be right back. I know there's more to life than looks. It's what's on the inside that matters. I've heard it, I get it, but I'm not gonna lie.

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but my bathroom was covered in stinky hair dye that is still there. It stained. Like every time I look at it, I think, oh, that was covered in stinky hair dye that is still there. It's stained. Like every time I look at it, I think, oh, that was the bad hair dye problem. But that was all BMR. Before Madison Read. See, Madison Read makes luxurious at-home hair color with ingredients you can actually feel good about. Their salon quality product is the first six free permanent hair color, free of ammonia, parabens, resorcinol, pbd, phallates, and gluten. But enough about what Madison Read isn't. Let's talk about what it is. Professional quality color available in over 40 shades. If you're anything like me, you have no idea what color your hair actually needs

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you can get your questions answered on the show. I'm so excited to announce that we are taking calls now in the studio. I know. In the next three weeks, it's going to be so exciting. So you just go to sectorsalme.com. And also, you can just email us through there if you want. You just click on the Ask Emily tab.

There's a drop down and fill out the submission form. But once you're filling it out, there is a question that says, would you like to have your question answered live on the podcast? So just check that box and we'll give you a call. We'll work it out. It'll be fun. I want to talk to you.

We'll solve your issues real time. You can also leave me a voicebound now, 828-ASK-SWE1, 828-257-7931. So these are all the ways I love hearing from you. Okay, guys, on to your nails. Hey, Emily, I'm a trans man in the early stages of transitioning. I've tried masturbating in the past, but could never make it work because penetration, even with one finger, was a bit of a stretch. I realize now that could probably be solved by loop.

And anything else I tried to do felt awkward. I could feel myself moving around on there, but it was eliciting zero pleasure. Recently I've been wanting to retry it. Do have any tips on how to make it feel good, toys, methods, etc. Thanks so much for your feedback, Liam. So obviously I thought that like thoughts are easy. I know. I love it.

I know, right? Like words. I don't know why I feel like crying It was horrible because nobody taught me about my anatomy I know I know and like even women don't know their own anatomy Can you imagine of trans man is like what is this? Because it's a chain yes, yes, so then what did it so what happens when you take test Also, you grow don't understand what Liam's going to tell me what happens So what happens when you take test also on your your your your genitals could specifically your clitoris grows

Mine's grown to the size of my thumb so basically you get a small penis, and it actually does get erect So basically what I like to tell trans men is experiment by touching. Now there's a lot of guys who are not comfortable to touch it because first off they don't really want to think of it as a vagina. It feels like a vagina. It reminds them of femininity. So one of the reasons why I chose to have this thing. That's what this is brilliant. So what I did is I realized toys were a big part of me learning how to love my body. So toys are, I love toys.

Toys are everything. Was it like what toys? So I used to, so there was no toy for me. They didn't invent, there was no trans male sex toys at all. Because what we use was vibrators. All everything on the market that you see now is made for cisgender people. True.

Every single one. Game men. Here's the question. Game men are cisgendered, right? When you were starting to, so when you, you're, you're, you're a clitoris group with them. Yeah.

But was it, did not feel good then when you touched it or you just didn't. Oh, no, I feel good and I would jack it off like, you know, like a little teeny mini penis and also blow jobs are my favorite thing in the whole world. So, you know, I totally get blow jobs And actually I love getting penetrated penetration is a big deal for me But not a lot of trans men feel like being penetrated because it was very females of them

So I don't feel it doesn't Yes, so that's the thing it's getting out of your head So I encourage masturbation on such a level But a lot of guys don't want to touch their genitals. So what I used to do is I used to get different kinds of toys Like ones that had like let's say there's this one called the brosleave and there's other one that's are made for the flesh exactly for cisgender men's penises and it's a jack-off sleeve right so they're called strokeers right right right right so I would take so I would take a

make the right exactly tangle egg that we would all use those products but they weren't made for our bodies right Right. So you felt inadequate. Inadequate, because we don't even have our own toys. It's not big enough to exactly. But did you or you come? When you come, did your orgasm feel the same? So that's a great question, actually. So what would be prior to my transition, I used to have five, six orgasms after transition.

I know that sound really. I'm your clitoris, or- From my clit, and also- I just thought- Yes. But not as intense as it is now. So after transition and taking hormones, now I'm horny all the time.

I'm like totally like a 16 year old boy. Really, I am. I can have sex at any drop of that. I love that, that's crazy. So that said, all of a sudden I would just have one intense orgasm. I thought, this is exactly what happens with this men. They have to recuperate

and I can come back but it's like so more intense than I can ever even tell you. So a fractal repair is a lot longer. You're not having multiple. Yes, exactly. And then from that I realize, oh my god, like this is the most amazing thing. Can I penetrate myself and do you? And I sort of practicing with all different kinds of vibration. I love vibration and penetration at the same time. Open again, nothing made for me. Nothing made for the guys who would write me because I'm the sex voice of the trans man world.

Like dude, how do I jack off? What do I do? So you could ask this question a lot. That's why I'm like, I'm so glad you're here. Okay. So then I was like, why is there no toy made for us? Why is there no trans male sex toy in the world on the market? This is so smart.

So I would go to, yeah, I would go to all the toy companies. Name any toy company I went there. And every single one of them said no. Doesn't exist. They said to me, they said to me that market doesn't exist. Which is exactly the same thing they said to me when I made movies. You know when I made movies, not anybody would touch me. You're like, can't listen to anyone, right?

You knew, because you knew. I knew, I knew. Okay, you're toy. Wait, I know. I love it. Your toy is called the buck off. Right on. Okay, the buck off. And it is. So tell me about this. It looks like a butt plug. Yes, it looks like a butt plug. So basically it's silicone. You're clitoris. I can't think of it with something up here. Yeah Yeah, that's it looks like that. It's a little larger like that So basically it's a it's a it's a mini flashlight So what I did is I made it so that so look there It wasn't easy to make because really I had to really work on this So basically what it does is see how it has suction

It has a little suction not too much But so you stick it against your vagina and it sucks you inside of it We put these amazing ridges in it, so it feels like a tongue, and it feels like you're getting up. You can put lube in it, which gives it a more of a suction. And then, so the reason I actually designed it with Steve Call of the owner of the company.

I think they could feel like a penis. So look, now when you're jacking up, it makes sense. And it's made from psilocylin, which is an amazing product. Oh my god, this is so good. So I wanted it to feel soft. They didn't want, and if you look,

you can put your finger in it, you can actually feel your genitals in there. which is an amazing product. Oh my God, this is so good. Yeah, so I wanted it to feel soft. They didn't want, and if you look, you can, if you put your finger in it, you can actually feel your genitals in there. So it gives guys an opportunity to feel their own genitals without actually physically touching their own genitals. It means, huh, you are genius. And so it gives you this idea. Thank you so much.

I feel we sold out like, really? And that's not, I'm not saying that as a business guy, I'm saying that as a guy who's an educator. There was clearly a need. I was fabulous. I want one. That's yours.

I would love for you to try. And also, cis women are coming to me. Can I use it? Of course you can. I was just going to say can I use it? Of course you can. I would like to, because I have very strong political. Just put your tongue.

Yes. You look at it. I have very strong cultural orgasms stronger than or have them. Just be like that. I have very strong clitoral orgasms stronger than my internal. Try it. Try it too. So you just stick it against your genitals? But it's just suction, right? And you can do anything you want with it.

There's no one way to use it. I can't. Oh my God, do graduate. Where can people get it? The buck off. So my website buckangel.com or perfectfitbrand.com. Oh my God. That's good.

Okay. So let's go back to Liam. Yes. I didn't even know about this wholefitbrand.com. Oh my God, that's good. Okay, so Liam's question. Let's go back to Liam, because I didn't even know about this whole craziness. Yes, this will help Liam in a hunt. I mean, but one thing I want to tell you about this product, real quick. Okay. My community has no money.

It's a very poor community because, oh, you knew let's just talk about jobs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. One of the main things for me that's very important is accessibility. And as we know, sex toys are very expensive. They can be really expensive. So really, I had to work with this company and they were very gracious and they understood to me, it wasn't about me making money, it was about me making

a product that gave us validation. Now this is in every store across the world. The whole world took it. That's amazing. So I want to let you know that we made this for $29.95 retail, which for a sex toy, as you know yeah, that's why the community was able to get it Yeah, that's why the community now will be much more sexually active, right? Yeah, sex creates happiness. It does it does it says I love your body love yourself. That's so good And I know what your other um what's your other, your quote that I, your most known for. My most known for it. It doesn't matter what's between your legs.

It's not what's between your legs, that defines you. Yeah, it's true. It's true. That's what you've been all about. I love it. It's a Liam. So let's go back to Liam. Yes.

He's, he's newly transitioned. Yes. And Liam says that he's, he's tried, but penetration, even with one finger was a stretch. Right. And anything feels awkward. Yes with one finger was a stretch. Right. And anything feels awkward and he had zero pleasure. Yes. So quit a lot of that being his head.

Totally in his head. So let's talk about what, how do you say that? But also he could be dry, which happens with a lot of trans men. And so even putting a little teeny bit of a little bit of a little finger and just rubbing. So this is what I want to tell Liam. Liam, my friend, just take a little bit of loob just take a little bit of Loub take a little bit of time I love to watch porn I love love love to watch porn and jack off to I think it's maybe you need a little mental stimulation along with the get out of your head get out of your head find the things that

turn you on whatever that is you know I love leather and cigars I love to watch guys smoking cigars that turns me on. And just put a little lube, rub yourself down there, and just rub it, rubber. You don't have to have an orgasm. Start from that. Start slow. You know, just- Without an angle.

Just getting to know your body. Right on my friend. Just start touching yourself. Okay. Good, yeah, Liam. Great, I think that's great advice. I mean, I couldn't even say who he is. I'm so glad you're here. Just touch yourself. even just touch yourself. Keep us posted and just keep going. It's like, you know, with

everything, we all started out there. Like you start out with your body. You don't take some time. Can't have the angle. They've great out. Okay, hi Emily. Here's my predicament. I'm currently dating an amazing man who treats me like a queen. Our relationship is built on trust and communication and respect and all those things that are keys to happiness. It's just that when it comes to having sex, I'm disappointed most of the time. I changed my contraceptive method as I thought

that was the reason for losing my libido. I don't understand why sex has become such a pletotic subject in my life when I was a bunny rabbit with ex boyfriend. I've tried different positions, role playing bonnet, et cetera. My issue is whether I should stay in this relationship when the sex isn't satisfactory. We've got people shaking their heads across table.

But all the other elements to an amazing relationship is there. I've spoken about this to him, but can't point blanks say, I'm not attracted to him and feel absolutely no connection when getting it on. I can't say that. At this point, I would rather be alone and never be aroused again than make it someone else's problem break their heart.

Now, Nadine 21 South Africa. See that's why I said that's why I said that's why I said control us with your libido. Yeah absolutely. Oh my god that's the- I'll talk about crusading and being on a mission like I'm angry that people- they- yes not you apparently you've been on birth control you've never put your- No but I go through these two sometimes. All women the doctors do not tell you maybe they do more so now that it could make you rest.

I do find that different birth care is effective. So many things get effective. What is the right birth control? You've got to find the other thing is that it's different for every woman. So you might need like experiment. There's so many different kinds. So if whatever you're taking doesn't work for you,

you can go for like a lower, you know, higher estrogen, lower estrogen, high cholesterol, and you play with it. Because that, so you just go to your doctor. But girls, young women too for like a lower, you know, a higher estrogen, low estrogen, a progesterone, you play with it because that, so you just go to your doctor, but girls, young women too, like in college, when I got like depressed and got bloated and all that stuff happened my freshman year when I went on the pill, like, I didn't know that was why, like, the doctor was just like, just what you take. So anyway, but back to Nadine, you're 21 years old, see, this is, it's important.

So you're 21, it's different than if you totally. And it's a new relationship in the past, you've had great sex. And at 21, I just think this is when the sex is, and the relationships are just great. And you've been with this guy for, I don't know how long he's a dating, the guy. Yeah.

If it's not great at the beginning, and you're already struggling to get turned on with the sex, I just say, you know, maybe he's just gonna be a friend. It's sad, it's sad. It's time to be. Right, he's a friend., maybe he's just gonna be a friend. It's like it's time to be. Right, he's a friend. He's a lover, he's a friend. He's a friend. Yeah, you already said like, you know, at this point I'd rather be a lower number.

And it's like, I feel like she's only 21. Yeah, it's like, it's like, all the things she's saying, I would understand if like they had kids, if they had a house together. No one taps it to. Something like that. Right. Then maybe it's worth exploring a few more things before you call it.

But even why not, why not even try to explore right now as 21 with her lover? And why not bringing somebody else or experimenting with having other lovers or experimenting with going to parties? Or because maybe he's feeling the same way. You have to, but they need to have good sex with each other. I think.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. But also. Yeah, it's a hard. I mean, right. For me, 21. Yeah, okay. But did he? Right. Here's the thing. They did also want to say is if you really do like this guy, this would be a great time for you to practice. Even if you don't think it's going to work, but you mean, I'm assuming yet you have you have it orgasms, you have had great sex. And you're like, I don't know what to say to

them. Why can't you just like, you know, orgasms. You have had great sex and you're like, I don't know what to say to them. Why don't you just like, you know, might not be perfect, but just be like, you know, big, more awesome. Say, let's play a mutual masturbation, say I think it'd be really hot to watch you jack up and I'm gonna masturbate. He could see how you touch yourself

and you could take control of it and be like, babe, you know, you're, you're, you're terminating. Kissing you, communicate. This is what I like. Let me show you how I want to move. Because let me read your last sentence. She said it again. At this point, I would rather be alone and never aroused again to make it someone else's

problem. That's true. That's true. You're, wow. That's very extreme. Yeah, it's very extreme. Listen to you. You're responsible for your own pleasure, your own sex life.

It's not any of their problems. It's yours. So if you want to have great sex, it's always going to come down to communicating about what you've always. So you could try it again with them. I'm not sure if you've really tried. You said you've tried role play in bondage, but it really might be about showing him what you need. Like truly like telling him how you want to be touched. And if you don't know, that's why I always say mutual masturbation. She also might need to dig a little bit. And I think it's really common for young women.

And I had to train myself to get out of that. Where I used to, when I was younger, I could not ever be attracted to someone who was nice. You know, I had that problem where I was like, I want the asshole. Oh, wow. I want the guy that doesn't like me back. I want the person that is unavailable in this.

And a lot of women, I think. A lot of women have that problem too. They made a really nice girl, and they're like, no, I want the girl that ignored me all night. Oh, I want the girl that doesn't call me back. It's a common problem, and she might have some of that. The second someone treats her nicely, she's like, this isn't sexy.

I actually did go to therapy for a while because I dated Assel after Assel after Assel. I was like, I'm emotionally like trained. No, really. I can't do this anymore. Because for you, I'm sick of it. You know, I want to be happy. I did.

And I acknowledged that it was a problem. And that might be a little more than she feels like delving into right now. But like, I did have to change. Or it's like, okay, if a guy is like, really likes me and treats me well, I should find that sexy. I should be like, you must be desperate. You know, which was the weird. That's a lot of women have that.

Okay, so I love what you, I love that you, I know that's a greater issue, but a lot of it does come from self-esteem this is that is it so many women and men we tend to get into fall into patterns The same thing parents you have to acknowledge. It's a bad pattern if it happens once Okay, whatever but when you notice you spent 10 years Stating the same kind of guy So how do you learn it's probably you? Right, so you just learn like to fight like you I you kind of change your association. So you beat a guy you're like, okay, he's being nice to me. I'm

not gonna run. I actually and you kind of yeah, I had to be like, I want to get to know this person. You have to learn too. I mean, I'm gonna learn therapy that that like, oh, I want him, but I can't have him. Where where is he? Like, oh, oh, that feeling is not love. That feeling is not healthy. Like love is supposed to be something exactly. And I used to think if I didn't get that, almost like addiction, you know, it's sometimes, it is misleading, because sometimes that weird addiction

can lead to good sex, you know, because then when you finally get them, you're like, yes, but that's just not- If you're not butterflies, not fireworks or something. Yeah, you. You're like, yes. What is that? So you want butterflies, not fireworks or something. Yeah. You want butterflies, not like, but she's like, you know, love is supposed to make you happy. You know, when you say the word comfortable,

comfortable doesn't mean boring and repetitive. Comfortable can mean wonderful. You know, like, I don't know. I had to reach that. I love that. That's a great message to you. I think that might, let's say you pen change that. Like a greater problem.

I mean, she also just might not be into this person And that's what I think I don't think she's in But she says like she doesn't want to hurt its feeling. That's a thing is she's overly. Yeah, she's like But that's also seems a lot of women tend to be that Oh, yeah, maybe she can retrain her brain a little bit to get around when someone's Yes, yeah, serving you could be that yeah, it could be that as well I think that gave her some good information It's very helpful No, it is there's uh because it could be that as well. I think that gave us information. It's very helpful.

No, it is. It's hard to know. It's complicated. Especially when you're learning to love and to date and be in relationships. Can you hear me? I'm already. Hey, Emily, before my marriage, I was blessed with overflowing mojo, super confident, sexually confident, you name it.

Sex was very important in my life, and I paid for college from bouncing and bartending at strip clubs, and I've been known to spin a pull myself for lady customers. Then I got married, and I was 100% faithful and committed. We were married for eight years, long story short, but X-Wave cheated on me and we were recently divorced. And now, I have zero self confidence,

much less sexual confidence. I feel so mature. So mature, and it's a man. I can't even look at, less sexual confidence. I feel so mature. It's a man. I can't even look at, I know the whole thing. It's confusing. But he worked as a sponsor. I can't even look at any one of the opposite sex with any kind of trust or any confidence

to have any kind of mojo to pick myself up and get back in the game. I need help. Bad. Any words of advice or encouragement are appreciated. New listener, Ray, age 41. Oh, my friend. I know. And I appreciated. New listener ray h 41. Oh my friend Yeah, and I understand I had cheated on Rips it is really terrible. You see everything through that lens for Actually, that's my biggest problem is cheating

Yeah, that's the thing that I will not stand for anything anything cheating I'm not okay with my own No, it really ruins a person yes and it is hard to so he's he's not alone and it's cowardly it is cowardly yeah you can work you get into any of the adult industry and I've had partners

now in the adult industry yes there's a okay but when someone crosses the way trust yeah true with you your trust was shattered really needs to go to therapy number one that's what you will not do with the center number two I think Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me.

Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me.

Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me.

Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. very much into that. It's great. No, but I would. Yeah. So if you need even to pay a little bit of money, which is a nice thing to do because you get what you pay for, and then you can have a really nice woman come over and play with you and make you feel special. That's what you need to feel special, my friend. You do. Yeah, I remember I was in a shitty relationship for a while

and, you know, and he cheated. And he did all, he was mentally verbally abusive for a long time And then as soon as that was over and I had I wanted to be alone for a while But as soon as I was like ready, I was like I just want to have Sex right on right few years of my relationship. We didn't have so I was just so beaten down and angry And I'm not horny and the first person I had sex with, I felt so good. I was like, I gave someone an orgasm, someone gave me an orgasm.

I'm happy. Like we didn't have sex and then fight about it for the last hours. We didn't like, you know, it was just fun. And it really, really did begin to like, restore my confidence. And just, and also it's also like important. I don't know if he's still associating,

like don't talk to anyone you met through her, like just, you need a new circle. Or that sounds like it's fairly new. So I would also say, right, get into therapy ASS. Yeah, and I don't ever want to hear from anybody, like I don't have insurance, blah, blah, blah. Your mental health is the most important thing that you could that you could deal with right now.

Take care of your physical health is important but your mental health. You could go to free thing. You could get a sliding scale. Believe me. I don't believe anyone who can't like that then give up other things. Don't have pay for cable this month. Yeah. Okay, so do that right.

Get to some therapy. Not because like you're sick and wrong. And we're telling you that trust is something very hard and the self confidence thing. That's one thing. The other thing is take the pressure off yourself. This just happened. So it's going to make sense that you're not having self-confidence and you're feeling like,

you don't have your mojo, but I promise you, it will come back. Life is a cycle of life. And now only will it come back. I can promise you when you get to the other side of it, it's going to be even stronger than ever. It will be. But right now, you could start like you know And even if you want to like eventually start you know for now start dating making you building your face

I would say it's about yeah, like maybe even take women off the table and maybe just Friends community get people around you and like you don't have to be dating now Yeah, and then when you know when you're ready if they were married and stuff like don't have to be dating now. And then when you're low in your body, if they were marrying and stuff, like, don't talk to her family, don't talk to her friends. That is one of the hardest parts. And I lost a lot of friends after my relationship ended. And I was like, even though there were people, I really liked.

I was like, I just had to change my social circle, change my, you know, I just removed myself from anyone that, you know you got to really start life over You have to care of your own soul You're covering from a drug problem Really is stuff or death really is you have gone through a death so so rage it's difficult Be kind to yourself. You want to yeah, yeah, right? You can totally do this to have fun and just know that other person fucked up not you yeah you that other person

That other person is damaged in a way that will probably will never get repaired and you can repair So exactly you will repair you're already yeah, I mean the fact that you're even be able to email and you are Explain this is like the first step. So I think that's that's great and that you emailed I appreciate it and I'd love to hear how you're doing so so stay in touch get some therapy Surround yourself with like just the good people in your life that love you and that mode is gonna come back one day I'm like oh here it is so just master it's okay not to have it for a while I just took months off I just broke up master. Master. Master. Master. Master. Master. It's the best. It's gonna be okay. It totally does. It's like it's a good jam like we forget to go for a while.

You probably spent a long time like waiting to get this feeling from this other person who wasn't giving it to them so just give it to yourself.'t giving it to them. So just give it to yourself Jerk off In the living room Jerk off all over her face Where's Reg gonna go now? We're as rigging to go now. Who knows? We guys, thank you so much. She's a great show.

So, guys, I'm so happy for her. I love you too. This was fun. This was a friggin party at the Sex and L.H.Q. It's all lies. I guess we'll be over now. We should do this. Seriously, you guys, come by anytime.

Thank you so much. Everyone can find you buckangel.com. Is there anywhere that you're traveling in November? People can find you in November to December. Yeah. Is there anywhere that you're traveling in November people can find you remember December Yeah, I was speaking at Cal State Northridge on the 16th for transgender awareness week and then the next morning I fly to New York City for the New York and world premiere of the translist for HBO. Oh In that which is amazing It's a you know did you ever see the list you You know the list the out list the trant the Latino list of the HBO

It's amazing. You should watch them. They're like series of there And so they're like a documentary of different people that they interview and so literally the director Fock to get me in this because you know my voice is sex and so it's all like Caitlin Jenner's in it Lever and Cox Jenna mock and so in other trans people, but my voice is sex, yeah. She knows. How'd that go down? You know, are you friends with, maybe this is, are you friends with Laura Jean?

Laura Jean, do you guys, the singer of against me? Oh yeah, I love her. Laura Jane, me and her are like best friends. Oh, okay. Oh yeah, I don't know, she's super awesome. Laura Jane is awesome. But anyway, Caitlyn is, let me take that off for a second. I want to take a break.

I want to take a break. Okay, people People are gonna want to know why do the assets? Caitlin is a good person you guys and so I am so tired of my community Missing mean things about her look. I thought they were all oh no they hate her because they do the same thing that they do with me Because she has a voice and she speaks she doesn't speak for the trans Exactly it's jealousy They have money. It's like she has a boy. She won the Olympics. She can be rich. She's for the Trans and exactly it's jealousy. It's like She won the Olympics. She can be rich. She's amazing And you know what she didn't have to be a voice for the community She could have had her change and gone away, but no she took the time and energy to speak for us in a way that is

Representation of herself as a trans. She doesn't speak for me. She's just saying awareness of the trans community can mean anything. I think what she did, it's amazing. And she made it, I mean because she's so famous. Yes. She's just making this less of a taboo. She told me it. She's like 10 years from now. She told me it's very grateful for her. Right, good. I'm so grateful for her voice. And she's making change and she hits a demographic that I can't do.

No, yes. Or many other people can't speak. And now there's a lot, and she hits a demographic that I can't do. Or many other people can't speak. And now there's a lot of young kids who can be shame on my community, shame on my community for saying anything bad about her, shame on me. So that's that, you know. So anyway, we're in the, I'm in the trans list with that, and that's going to really be a big deal for me because I get to talk about sex in an environment that we don't talk about sex.

And so my sex, you know, the trans world doesn't talk about sex at all. No, it's horrifying. Yes. They don't ever talk about sex. Nope, they don't talk about it, they don't want to talk about it. They want to homogenize themselves. Yeah, they want to just say,

we're people. They're a very rare identity. Yeah, I'm a robot. I don't have sex. Like, you better have sex because that's part of being a human being. They really don't, okay. And then from there, I'd fly to Paris

to do a show in Paris. And then from Paris I'd fly to Paris to do a show in Paris and then from Paris I fly to Montague. What kind of show? A dancing show. So I still do a sex show. Oh, you're dancing? Yeah. You never see my live sex shows on the reverse.

Are they here in LA? In LA. You're gonna let me do a live sex show. You can't even be tall for a movie. I'm here. The last live sex show I did was at Folsom because they put me in a special tent that was off site Yeah, but they I live sexual is all over Europe because they Yeah, with a group of people that bring me in like just mostly gay men

Right, so I go to gay men and I do like basically what I do is a strip tease right? I do a strip dancing show with my big cock inside my pants, but they don't know that it's actually really not a real cock. Unless they know I am. But it's the best so that I strip all the way down to my field. And I take off my underwear and I hold my cock between my legs. I'm told that it's stuff. So this thing gets like real and then I just get to this one point in the song and rip it off. So great.

And then they're like what? And then I fuck myself with it. And I was myself with it Yes No, but I should tell we should do that together. Oh Anyway, so and they're cool and they're Cheer oh my god, they love it. They eat it up. They eat it up. They love it Because what I've done is just brought awareness to something like you know, it's all about it's all an illusion Everything us we're an illusion. Yeah, you create your own self

And so I created this illusion on a stage where people are like expecting something and they get people love that Oh, my god. Yeah, they live for that kind of stuff That is amazing and then I go to a film festival and show my film and speak to a you know a bunch of people So all you're doing different is amazing. And then I go to a film festival and show my film and speak to a bunch of people and stuff. So, okay, so, so many different sites. And Joanna Angel, burningangel.com at Joanne Angel, across the board. And anything coming up for you, November? Actually, I really have like nothing in it. I know. You're going to cut back here. It was like very busy in all of October. Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you guys. This is great. This was a blast. It was like a party. Yeah, this was really

like never. It's not working. I keep this going for another four. I know. Another show. Okay, guys, thank you so much. It was a great show. I appreciate it. And thank you to my amazing team. Thank you Madison and thank you Jamie and Lori and Ken and Eddie. Hi, that's such a good team. And thank you. Thank you everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. Thank you. That was awesome. That was awesome. Let's talk about the orgasm gap. You don't know what the orgasm gap is? Okay, so a little refresher.

Men take anywhere between 6 to 8 minutes to orgasm during intercourse. Women between 20 and 40 minutes. You see the issue here? There's like a gap. Even if you don't have an issue with premature ejaculation, the fact remains women take longer to achieve orgasm in the menu. A lot longer. But you can take action. You can. For starters, more for a play. For a play is not just a suggestion, it's actually mandatory. And to help you narrow the orgasm

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