Sex With Emily - Sex Without Penetration

Episode Date: October 12, 2011

Emily attends a class on non-monogamy, how to overcome jealousy, Emily plays with her sex school friends, Google calendars to schedule sex with multiple people, is cheating genetic?, having bad gaydar, the morning after pill and the royal wedding, what's the best kind of orgasm, how to get through a break-up, how to start a new relationship, masturbating in front of your partner, the vagus nerve that makes you orgasm, nude beaches, smoking and sexual performance, Menace's date ideas, how to have a successful long distance relationship, phone sex and sex simulation: how to have sex without penetration. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. Thanks everyone for joining us today. As you know, we're doing a daily live show, Monday through Friday, one to two. And here we are at text only dot com. I'm wondering why you were looking over into this. I was just thinking when I think I just think like when I talk, I'm like, when I'm trying to think of what I'm going to say, I look up. Do you know the people, different eye movements for things? They do like, if they're lying, they look one way,

if they're thinking, they look another way, if there's ways to catch you. But everyone's different on everyone. But people like look down when they're lying. I look to the left anyway. You're listening to this. Where are you looking for your lying? Hold on, I'll ask you a question.

I'm going to lie. Ask me a question that I would lie to. How many people have you slept with? I look down and then, uh, all right. Now that's counting and that's, that would take some time. Okay everyone, thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. You can find more at sex-emily.com if you're listening live. Thank you so much.

As you know, we are doing five shows a week. You want everyone to become a friends with benefits member. You can do that all in sex with Emily.com. It's 4.95 a month, 4.995 a year and you're getting five times the content. Everyone to become a friends with benefits member, you can do that all in sexwithemily.com. It's 4.95 a month, 4.95 a year, and you're getting five times the content. It's 15 cents a day. And 15 cents a day, I think, for better sex,

which millions of people listen to the show, and they've improved their sex life, through sex with Emily, and I think that you should too. You have 15 cents a day, total to 4.95 a month. Because people are like, well, 15 cents a day, what's that total to? And that's 4.95 a month because people are like, well, 15 cents a day, what's that total to? And that's $4.95.

Right. Exactly. Well, I divided it actually by when I got that number, I divided the $4.95 by the shows that we're doing. We're doing five shows a week times 52 times, so sometimes 52 weeks a year. Anyway, that's how I've got the number. You're blowing my mind right now. I was doing a lot of math that my hat hurts just talking about it. But that's how I came up with that. So anyway, thanks everyone. We so appreciate your support to just check out the website, the new website, which is so great and evolving every day.

And you can, today we'll be reading your emails that you either submitted on my website. I have a Q&A section now that's really easy for you to submit your questions or feedback at sexwithemily.com. Some of the topics today include nudity, smoking and sexual performance, date ideas, hand jobs, warming her up for sex, and flirting techniques. Plus, what we're talking about long distance relationships and how to keep it hot, even when your partner isn't around, and some phone sex tips, because that kind of goes well

with long distance relationships. And since I'm a professional, I'd phone sex now. No, of goes well with long distance relationships. And since I'm a professional. I had phone sex now. No, not a professional. I'm just good at it. Okay. What did you do yesterday? What was your...

Well, yes, you don't have to tell me, because I'll lead into what you told me that you were doing. But what did you do during the day? During the day I worked. Yeah. And then I went to... I was here and then I was with my interns working. And then I went to a non monogamy polyamory class, a good vibrations last night with my sex school friends. How did that go? That was good. It was from six to eight. And it was, it was, it was called polyamory, non monogamy.

And there was three people there. And they're all in a relationship. So the woman sat in the middle and the guy to her left, she's been in a relationship with for eight years. And then the guy to the right, she's been in relationship for three years. She lives with the guy to her left, his name's Pepper. He does a lot of sex talk monogamy stuff. And basically, so they're in a eight year relationship. He's seeing five other women.

Her other boyfriend's seeing three other women and she's just seeing the two of them. Which one of them had a ponytail? One of them did a ponytail. Oh my god. They're not swingers. They're not swingers. They're polyamorous. Swinger lifestyle. They're non monogamous. It's different, but it was really, really interesting because I thought that it was

interesting because some of the things that I got out of it, I was thinking that I'm like, oh my god, men's is going to ask me this and someone's actually, they both, and they both had long hair, but one didn't have it in a ponytail. But you know he puts it in an opponent tail. Sometimes when he's doing the business, but it was interesting because you know, we talked a lot about jealousy and how people in these relationships overcome jealousy

and it was interesting. She gave an example. She's like, yeah, I get jealous all the time. I mean sometimes she's like pepper her boyfriend. She's like, he'll be out and I'll be thinking, oh my God, he's out with someone who's hotter than me and who's there having an amazing time and and I'm just home alone She goes and then I like flip it like you flip you learn how to deal with jealousy when you're in an open relationship And she's like then I flip it and like I've got the house to myself. I'm gonna watch a movie

I've dinner and take a bath like you know what I mean like when you go down jealous paths and your brain You can easily just switch it around. Sounds fun. It's good times. Anyway, I want to lead into another story. I told you guys yesterday I was going to ILLM to go check out a movie and check out the place and it was amazing. I saw a super eight which was really really good. I recommend people go and see that. It's like it's kind of like goonies meets ET. Okay. Good. And we set up that I would after I go to the movie that we that I would go to your house and hook up the porn. The new porn system. Rich will talk about it. Yeah. Right. So I call you and then obviously there's all this noise in the background and you're not home Right, right and then I asked where are you and you're like, oh, I'm at a hotel

downtown and People were beating each other what what was going on? They're flogging each other. I was just all my sex school friends and they're all in town from all over the world Yeah, for three weeks take these classes and it's like a call, I mean, it is, they're like, I guess they are college students, and they're all, you know, and they're 20 early 20s are mid to late, whatever, they're all not 20s pretty much.

And they're just partying and flogging, they've all these flogging utensils, like everyone has their own thing, like they're in BDSM or they're bisexual or they're into floggy, so there was all, and everyone, like every time you turned around, we were just sitting there drinking out of those red plastic cups

It was like being caught. There was like 15 women one dude. There's this new hot guy He's from Chile and he's an actor and Chile and he's in our class So it's him and like 15 women and we're all sitting there like vlogging on top of each other like Like drinking partying. It was really fun. I wanted you to come and so yeah They're all blogging each other's asses and people are climbing on top of each other and they're just like drinking and smoking out the window. Like, we're in San Francisco, you can't smoke an hotel room,

but it was really fun. But I was, if you were gonna meet me, okay, so I'm glad you mentioned it. I wanted you to come over and set up my new fire TV as our new sponsor. So I have to introduce everybody to fire TV. They are so awesome. They're like the Netflix of porn.

It's the ultimate adult video experience. They've got 15,000 movies that you can access. All your favorite porn stars men that are gonna be there are on TV. Find your perfect scene and watch it on your TV computer, phone, or tablet. So you can watch it. They sent me their ultimate set top box

that you're gonna come over and set up someday. And then you could also do on your so, and then, you could not, but you could not do on your TV, your computer, your phone. And all new members get the Fire TV exclusive wealth and deception in their library as a bonus for joining. So it's Fire TV, it's F-Y-R-E-T-V.com. You can go there and see the hottest girls

in the world's hottest films. So I want everyone to check it out. It's porn, Netflix, and porn, like every show. And I was getting really turned on watching their advertisements yesterday at the office. I was sort of uncomfortable. So anyway, I'm excited for you to come over and when you're gonna do that.

I don't know when they're not getting vlogged. How many times are you vlogging? That's right. I was vlogged a few times for like, at one point I was just on the phone and I'm bent over like this and Sarah who was on the show that time Yeah, she's like bisexual and into BDSM and she's a professional dominatrix So she was like flogging me. I like it feels good. Why are you on the phone? I'm on the phone talking to you

I was like, I think I was talking to you and then I was talking to I don't remember like a friend that I was trying to I wasn't talking to a dude. No, there was no dude. But they're crazy. I mean, these people are, they're hilarious, they were going out in the cast row again. They go out every night to the cast row and get wasted and party and they all hook up. Yeah. It's very incestuous. It's good times, but I'm not in school this semester, I just party with them. You're like, no, I'm going home.

But you were supposed to come over, but then I got sucked into their life after the polyamol class into the Flogging. I mean, literally I walked in and everyone's being flogged and then at one point everyone's leaning over the bed and she's just going around Flogging everyone being professional, but we're not like joking around. I wasn't like It was like just funny and then we all love each other. We just climb over each other and it's fun. Sounds good times. You missed it. Yeah, but you were at I Why do you say I missed out right exactly So I thought anyway, okay, so going back to the pioneering class, which I know you think that I want that or that I am That's what that's your dream. I don't know if it's my dream. You just accept it. I don't understand like everything that you say Since I've known you points to the Polymerie

You know, I know, really. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, that's what my, um, Polymeri, I'm right. One of my best friends says to me, she's always like, I think you're Polymeri, I'm right, say, I might be, I might be. But I don't, I don't want to share.

No, I want to, do I not want to share everything? No, I know, you don't want to share everything. I share that I had gone down on a woman yesterday. That was major. Oh, today we're playing the rest of our 20 questions. Go ahead. No, I'm're playing the rest of our 20 questions. Go ahead. No, I'm saying that you don't want to share the person that you're with, but you want to go.

I know. I know. So that's what you should say when you're about to get in a relationship, or you're just dating with somebody, this is what I want. Can you handle it? Right. And just narrow them all out and stop wasting your time.

OK, thanks for the advice. No, but I'm sure you could find somebody like that. Oh, I'm sure there's like a last night. There was a bunch of them there and I'm sure I could. I'm not 100% sure that that's what I want like long term, but I think for now that's sort of what I'm not committing to anyone, I'm just sort of dating sort of. I just guarantee you if you date a guy and he comes in here

and he has a ponytail, I'm going to barf. Dude, I would never, I would not do the ponytail. I would not do a dude with a ponytail. I have done a dude with a ponytail before him. But then he cut it off. Yeah, exactly. But I was dying and they all had their hair dyed different colors. One was blue, one was red, one was green.

The people speaking on the panel last night. But another interesting thing we talked about was that about Nominagmi and people is like, because one, it enters me this morning, they're like, well, does it work? Or what do you think about it? And it's like, I think that every relationship is challenging, every relationship there's jealousy, and that you just learn to like, you know,

like learn to overcome it, but there are no role models of like, oh, well, there are no relationship, and this is how you do it. Like, there is monogamous couples, so they kind of have to make their own rules and set their own guidelines. And I was like, well, how do you guys schedule? That was my big question. You're sleeping with five people. She's sleeping with three people. He's sleeping with three

people. Then all his people are sleeping with people. They're all sleeping with all his people. They're like, oh, we have a Google calendar that we share. It takes months. You can't be spontaneous. I can't be like, new girl and be like, hey, let's hook up tonight. They're like tonight. Sarah and it's been booked for six weeks because you have to really, when you're all sleeping with all these different people, you have to really like, you know,

have a Google killer with different color coding stuff. Yeah. Wow, it's amazing. It sounds expensive too. Well, they're not saying they're going out for dinner. Is that what you're gonna say that it's expensive? I don't think you're taking my dates. I think there's a lot of sex happening, just like sex.

You saw you just show up to the house and you have sex. I think so. I'm sure you might go to movies from time or the coffee shop, but I think that it's a lot of, like, if you're seeing someone, so if he's living with this woman, but he's sleeping with five other women, yeah, that's like, so I guess he sees them all once a month. I mean, this is a lot of coordination. I don't know. Yeah. Too much time. Too much time. Too much to love sex. But I don't want that.

I don't want that. I don't want that. I don't want that. Five women. Five men that you got to listen to and they might want to talk. Men is that I want to talk and they might want to cuddle. Oh, you would hate that. You're like, I just want is bad for you, right? Yeah. There's nobody in your life right now. No time. I know you're really busy. No. You're just not going to tell me.

It's cool. What? I don't care right now. I just don't care. I know. That's how I feel. That's how I try to explain to my mother who keeps asking me, like, what are you dating? What's going on?

I was like, I'm just not. I'm really not focused on that right now, that part of my life. I'm focused on sexually, this work, but not relationships. Yeah. But it's all good. Okay, we've got some sex in the news that we're going to do, and then we're going to get

into the 20 questions. So we have a contest going on. People, we submitted lots of questions. We picked, we're going to read 20 questions yesterday. We read some menace and iron answering. Any of your questions, and then we're going gonna pick the best one and they're gonna win Okay, the best question, but we can get into some sex and then you do we've got some good ones today Okay, New York Times

Ambition this was in New York Times on Friday and I love this article and put ambition plus desire equals trouble Research research suggests that physiology plays a role in whether or not a man is the cheating kind or not So just could be in your genes that we've talked about this that men cheat Anthony Weiner who resigned we know might not have known what he'd been thinking He said he had there was a quote from him saying I don't know what I was thinking and they're like that might be true He might not really know what he's thinking but scientists have an idea or two most people who get as far as he's gotten Our high testosterone people along with that ambition comes a high sex drive. Testosterones link with both of them. So they're saying that men who are highly

ambitious have high testosterone and that's going to lead to higher risk taking and that risk taking is going to lead to cheating and tweeting and tweeting and cheating and tweeting or cheating and I actually had a debate about this today. We're in a mine about weener. What'd you debate? We're just debating like, um, you know, if he should have stepped down or not. And I think and my, my position was, I think it was up to his peers. If he should have stepped down, they all thought he should.

Yeah, or the people that voted him, I'm sorry. Oh, you meant he meant his constituents. Yeah. Yeah. I think you should have been up to them because he was just being a man. It's just that he's a public figure. Right. I feel that if you are going to think your public figure is going to be an angel, then you're going to be let down. I know because that those men have the ambition, the desire. So, men particularly successful men have an evolutionary history of polygamy. So, men who are successful have polygamy, they're like, okay, I'm really successful, I can see what this many women do, I want. Men who pursue politics are also pursuing power,

and from an evolutionary perspective, the whole goal of men striving for power is to increase their access to sexual opportunities. And I've always said that. I said, I think the men who become the most successful and the most powerful and have the most money are like, okay, check, check, check. I've got everything in my life I want. I've got the cars, I've got the homes, I've got one wife,

but I want more sex. I want more sex. And I can have that because I have this sort of elevated sense of self. And if I can have anything in the world and I have all this success, I want more so that's also it's evolution. I also said that a lot of these guys they were nerds and they just... there's some of that like growing up they would never got laid and then they finally got power. Now they got power

now they don't know how to handle it. Right right so it's interesting and then in one possible answer is there's so yeah, there's a correlation between testosterone and risk taking Dr. Helen Fisher, who is an expert in all this stuff cheating and evolutionary psychology says, she says I'm not going to make an excuse for this guy or any of them. But when he says, I don't know what I was thinking. He probably literally was not seeing or evaluating or weighing properly all of the outcomes for this because it's the risk kicking. He's not thinking to himself, oh, what's going to happen, what's the ramifications? Because everyone questions

that, like, why would Bill Clinton do what he does, or why would all these people do it? And it's because the risk taking testosterone, I thought it was a great article. It's very interesting. You're an ambitious man, but you're not a cheater. No, I just don't, if my theory is, if you're going to cheat on somebody, just don't be with anybody. Right. Women have better gator when they're most fertile. Really? Yeah, which is good to know, just in case. New science suggests that the newer women are at a peak ovulation, the more accurate their gator becomes.

This was in psychology today, they performed various experience and came up with a falling finding. Women who are approaching peak fertility can tell whether men amant to straight or gay just by looking at his face. So if they're ovulating, they're like, gay or straight. Women who are approaching peak fertility can't bet can't tell whether a woman is gay or straight or like in a race, just men. So there's an interestingness obscure. It's all good.

Gator. I think I beg no. I like I'm amazing. Gator. You do. One person that I did not know. Okay. One at a time. Yeah, really? I've bad get. I just I amazing gator you do one person that I did not know okay One time yeah, really I've bad get I just I guess I Don't really think about it. I just but a lot of guys I did people always think they're gay, but they're not People think they are so that's why I think I bad gator cuz I'm like I don't even see like Yeah, I mean people and I don't know that they're gay and then I I date people that could be gay But I don't know this if they don't seem a feminine to me

I have a friend. I have a friend. I have such a high testosterone, I think, as a woman. I don't know why, but she ends up dating gay guys all the time. Are they really gay, though? They're really gay. They're both bisexual, obviously. They're bisexual, yeah.

They're bisexual, yeah. Okay. And then what happens is she gets... She and then it's weird because she's like really religious so she doesn't Her outlook on gay people aren't You know as open okay as did you know general public here in the Bay Area and She starts like really drilling them like are you gay are you really gay do you like guys do you have sex with guys and then Then they end up saying yes, and then she just breaks up with them. Like, I don't

know why she likes how she's like. Why would she even go out with them? But she does initially see it for some reason. But why are they even together that they're having the conversation that seems weird? What do you mean? Well, how does she even get with that? Like she's with them, and then she's like, are you really gay? Like she's trying to talk them out of being gay because they're so great. No, she doesn't try to talk them out of it, but for some reason, initially, when she starts hanging out with them, she doesn't know their gay. She thinks it's going to be a relationship.

That's a bummer. Or no, she does get a relationship with them, but then they end up. They're like, sorry, but we're not pulling around. That's a really interesting pattern. I've never heard that before. I don't know what that's about I don't know how it happens to her, but it happens she just got when she's ovulating and then she'll be able to be like boom Oh, you're gay. I'm not gonna go through the same thing again. Well, see you thing is I think this is what happened

She goes out in nightclubs. Yeah, she finds a guy that's really good looking that knows how to dance gay See that's what happens Oh my god, I wish I would not let this well dress good looking and he knows how to dance. Gay. See that's what happens. Oh my God, I wish I would not rest good looking and he knows how to dance. Ladies, right. Gay. Saying you should ask them first before you try to ask if you're gay. I know it's hard to tell. I know it is hard to tell in San Francisco. And it is true when you go on the Castro, the men are so good looking that you're like, and then you go on the Castro. Wake up in the Castro. There's they're not straight. And not there aren't straight men in the cast are about.

Okay. SF circumcision ban. Have you talked about this briefly, but lawsuit seeks to block ballot measure measure. A lawsuit has been filed on behalf of the Jewish and Muslim families in effort to block a San Francisco ballot measure that would ban the circumcision of male children. I believe in a crazy. We are crazy.

The supporters say male circumcision is a form of genital mutilation that parents should not be able to force on their young child. A pwn and say a band in a religious right considered sacred by Jews and Muslims is a violation of constitutional rights. Which is true. Why do we have to be dictating in San Francisco about foreskin? I don't understand it. And happy males. We banned happy males last year. And plastic bags. We're like a crazy town. Can we fix muni, the bussist of?

Can we clean up the homeless people? Can we do clean up the areas of the town? But we're like banning for skin. That's such a problem. We've got to shut down certain streets. San Francisco is a crazy town. Maybe it should move or it's made me crazier. I've lived here for so freaking long.

I know you always say that because you're like, when you'd love to travel back in time with me, like to miss again when I lived there, and then you could see like the nice sweet innocent Emily. And before you came to hang out with the wacky hippies in Saran Siska? Yes, I think I was not as, I think I've always been very liberal and open,

but when you live here for a long time, you just sort of meld into it all. Okay, female zebra finches may inherit infidelity gene from cheating fathers. What? Finches find a particular partner and stick with it forever. Yes, the finches. But that is only to share a nest and has nothing to do with mating. Males mating outside their partner only increases their chance of reproductive success.

Permisky was female only loses more than she gains because she can only reproduce with one made at a time. So one question the research raises is whether humans might also blame unfaithfulness on the sins or underlying genes of their father. So they're saying, from Finches, can we extrapolate that to our own stuff, like to why we cheat if we have like a cheating father or a cheating mother, can they pass that gene on? Let's talk about fathers now? I didn't know that Burj cheated. Yeah, they usually partner with one but the ones who are cheating. Yeah, they do because they usually make for life with one person

But some of them don't that they fall out. Yeah, the wayward finishes That's a pretty incredible, but I heard that with the with penguins too. Yes, exactly. Yeah I heard that with penguins too. Yes, exactly. Yeah. I wonder, I wonder about all that stuff, the cheating. It's so interesting, because I do think a lot of it is genetic and has to do a test, test testosterone. And I think I have a lot of testosterone.

Can I get that measured somehow? Because I do feel like I do do it a lot. Why? But I don't know like, I don't know like a lot of excessive hair or like a penis or anything, but I do feel like things growing in weird places. But I do have a penis, but I feel like I do sometimes. And I feel like very in my relationships, I always feel like I take on the role of the man.

Did you take control? It's not kind of. No. I, the way I act in relationships towards commitment. It's like a man, whatever, we know this. Okay, Royal Wedding Sparks Demand for Morning Afterpill. This is hilarious. Did you hear this?

It wasn't just Will and Kay who were celebrating their wedding after hours. The Royal Wedding seems to have sparked some romance of the spontaneous kind. The National Health Service, North Hamptonshire, told the Mirror, this is in the UK, that demands for the emergency contraception better known as the morning afterpilled, tripled over the royal wedding weekend. That's just because the population grew. There were so many people in town. No, I don't think so.

But it was sheer loss that drove Brits and Tito their arms so carelessly or was the country's hard partying ways. Pubs in England were allowed to stay open two hours later until 1 a.m. So patrons could properly celebrate the wedding. So everyone was out getting drunk. Everyone got laid and then everyone called their gyno and college just the morning and said morning after both please. Why didn't we go there? Why did we go there and have unprotected sex? No, why didn't we? Yeah, why didn't we go there? That would have been so fun to be there during the row wedding. I

didn't really watch it though. I didn't know that the world, the world, Wow. I'm so tired. I know you seem tired today. The the wedding was such a party. Yeah. Central thing. Yeah. I know a lot of people that go there and they just watch it. They never open our pubs later here. No. So we close it to a.m. Yeah. Right? They would never. Oh yeah. Yeah. They would never extend it for any reason. In New York they stay open really late. Yeah. New York is the best. Five AM, like you look down, it's four AM, we're like, what are we doing? What are we doing?

I think that's really interesting, morning after pill. Okay, 20 questions. Yeah, let's go. Okay, do you wanna hear the 20 questions? So, okay, we read six of this, we read some questions yesterday, and then we got some more for today. So, we're doing a contest,

everyone writing in the 20 questions, I think we can make this an ongoing segment. Really? Sure. So if people have any questions for myself or for menace, any question you want to ask us about our personal lives, about sex, about anything, just email us and put 20 questions in the subject so we know that that's what it is.

You can do feedback at sex.me.com or you can do it right up through the website. And you're not afraid to answer the question? Apparently not. I've answered some pretty personal things. Okay. And you're not either. I'm not afraid. You're never afraid. No. I love that about you. Whatever.

Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. sharing. No, I would say that it's individual. It's a case-by-case basis I think everyone like there's some women who have like mind-blowing G-spot orgasms There's women who have never women who've never had them I don't think that the G-spot orgasm is better than the clitoral orgasm Although that's how it was sort of hyped for many years that you have to have this elusive G-spot orgasm to make everything great. And if you're having a colatoral orgasm, it's not really as, you know, as revered as the G-spot. And I don't think that any of that's true. I think that it's individual. Like people can have mind blowing orgasms in different ways. And then anal, like some people like have orgasms,

three anal's axon, that's amazing for them too, but I can't answer what's better. What's the best? You just know what's good for you. I just know what works for me. And that is. I've had orgasms in all different ways. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. It's an age old debate, but one we all discuss at some time. So, Menace, I'm going to ask you this first. All right. It's not too bad. Okay. What's the best advice to give someone to get through a break up and what's the best advice to start a new relationship? How do you get through a break up? I know you're

going to say something. How I get through a break up. Yeah. I, the, the total manway, I just, you know, sleep around with other chicks. No, I'm just like, I don't make it into a big deal. I tell myself it ended for a reason. Mm-hmm. And I just go on with my life. I don't cry over anything and ponder over the person. Not even a little. No, I'm just, you know, it's-

You're just done, you're just cold, you're just slate. Yeah. Don't feel it, she's out of my life. She's out of my life because it must be for a reason. Right. And that's it. And then I think that really helps me just to go on and continue my life.

I'm not saying that I had that outlook in the past, but I just think it's changed over time after being through quite a few relationships. And then this is the best one. And I see I'm way more happier this way. Yeah. That I'm not like crying over somebody. Right. Exactly. And then the best way to get into a relationship. I would say is hang out with somebody for a really long time. Before you get into a relationship. What do you mean hang out with them? Just don't commit yet, but just go out with them. Yeah, I mean if you do want to commit to them and they bring They bring it up that they want to commit and it's you know

It hasn't been a certain amount of time that you know go ahead and go for it And if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Right. Okay. Let's go. I guess it never be afraid to commit too fast either Don't be afraid to commit too fast. No, because you know, I think you should be very afraid. Yeah, because... After a relationship though, like he's saying like, who asks questions? What the time in between before he gets something, get with somebody else. Stan, this is from Stan.

Okay, Stan. I know that I'm kind of saying two things. I am saying that you should hang out with somebody for a long time, but if the issue comes up that you should be together, then I think you should go for it, because as long as you're not getting married, you can get out of it. You can dump her ass in a line. Yeah, I can't get out of the curb, then. Got it. Okay, well I think the best advice to give someone is to like men is to accept it. You got

to accept it. The end is there and you just got to move on. Like you got it. You can't like wallow in the, what if I did this or what if I did that or I should have done this differently. If it ended it ended for a reason, like that book, it's called a breakup cause it's broken, it probably was broken, and there's probably something you need to change.

I think that you need to take care of yourself too. I think that you need to like pamper yourself or do things for yourself that make yourself feel good and you might have to make these extra efforts to like get out of the house and do things for yourself. And just give yourself time. Don't rush back into a relationship right away.

I'd say you need to just give yourself the time to heal and to look at, I think it's important to look at our past relationships, like what we learned from them because I never look at relationships that end as a failure. I never think, oh, I messed up. It was a mistake or I just look at them as learning tools. This person I was with, why didn't it work? What can we learn from it and how can we move on?

So it's important to do some introspection. Some reflection. Some reflection. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't do revenge. Revenge mode is bad. Take up a new hobby.

And time is the best healer. We get time heals all wounds. It's really true. We all get through breakups. You think you can't get through them and you're never going to live without this person, but time heals all wounds. It's really true. We all get through breakups. You think you can't get through them And you're never gonna live without this person, but time does heal it and then as soon as you can just go out and start dating I mean start dating even if it's just casual even if you don't want to go on the date like make yourself go out It's like muscles that you have to exercise again because you're not used to it because you've been in relationship So it's good to just start dating

That's what I think that's my answer. Okay So this one's for me. Okay, no, no, no, I'm going to do that one last. A question for both of you. Have you ever masturbated in front of your partner? If yes, elaborate on how it went from Kobe. Where it's just full on masturbation like from getting to end in front of them. Yeah. And I didn't touch them. Right. You just mastered it in her part. I've never done that.

But what about, like, mutual masturbation? Like, she was masturbating. You were masturbating. Never? We're just sitting next to each other. Yeah. Or maybe you're touching her a little bit. You're awesome masturbating.

Never. Then I don't think that's the same thing. But, um, have you remastered? You're right. Have you remastered in front of your partner. No, okay got it Yeah, cool. What about you? Why of course I'm just saying yes, I have But it wasn't like

Yeah, yeah, I have yes, okay, and would I like to elaborate it? Um, it went well You want so far? I never went it went well. It was fine. We were all happy Yeah, no it was good. Did you use it? toy? I used the sex toy. Yeah, like a little bullet or something. Uh-huh. And then like usually it was like, then it would leave, or it was like after sex where I maybe didn't have an orgasm or it was just for fun. Because I think mutual masturbation is the best sex tip. That's how you learn. That's how you learn from your partner and what you like and watching each other. You didn't pull out like a massive dildo? No, I didn't. You didn't? I saved those for when they let go home. Oh, okay. Now I'm just kidding. How do you flip them in your closet? I don't turn to my bed. Oh, okay. I have so many. I need to get rid of some,

but I have tons. So, okay, masturbate, I do, I just wanted to give a plug for mutual masturbation. I do it all the time, but it's really a great way to learn what your partner likes. So, okay, masturbate, but I do, I just wanted to give a plug for mutual masturbation. I do it all the time, but it's really a great way to learn what your partner likes. So, yeah, masturbate, you should do that. Oh, speaking about beds, did you get in a new bed? No, I need to. I need to go to the bed store. Why?

Because I've been forgetting for the past two weeks. After we talked about the new bed, that I met the vice president of one of the places that I bought my bed from. Okay. And he said for me to email when you're ready. Oh, they'll take care of you. No way.

I'm so excited. I haven't a time. The card has been sitting in my wallet and I keep on playing out and I'm like, oh yeah, I keep on forgetting. Oh, thank you. I think I'm going to have a new bed because my bed breaks now. Oh, no. Yeah, I told you that.

It's like this old bed that like if I have sex in my bed, like the slats fall. Yeah. And it's annoying and I just need a new bed. So yeah, and I'm gonna get a bed. I love talking to that and then I'm getting a bed with drawers underneath it so I can put all my toys in it. It's got built in drawers.

But it's also drawers for like it. Extra-shade doors, right? Yeah, drawers, it's not doors. Okay. Okay, this is for me. Okay. Dores. Okay, this is for me a question. And it's a bit of a tricky question. It says, what would be more bearable?

Life without your sex toys or life without menace? Ooh. That is so tough. Sex toys. Yeah, I guess so. No, no, no. Life without me would be more bearable. Yeah.

More bearable? What would be more bearable? Life without your sex toys or life without menace. I could never live without menace. It would be less convenient without me. It would be that yes. I don't know. I mean, life without my sex toys though.

It's like I like my sex toys. Yeah. I can't really answer that. I'm not choosing. I don't want to lose either one. I can choose. I can choose. Life without my sex toys.

No. What? Yes. Is that good? I'm curious. No, no, no. I don't know the lose it. I can choose. I can choose. Life without my sex toys. No. What? Yes. Is that good? No, no, no. I don't know the way it was worded. Would you bold be more bearable life without your sex toys or life without menace? Life without menace would be more bearable.

Okay. Because I'd miss you. How do you do the show? I don't know. But then I'd start missing my sex toys too. I can't choose. That's a tough one, but it's a great question. I love that question. Okay.

And then we've got a question here that's more technical, but I'm so many in some technical stuff. Yes. Can you tell us you won't be able to answer this? Oh, okay. Can you tell us more about the Vargas nerve and cervix bumping? I'm going to I'm trying to learn more about it since there seems to be some chatter about it everywhere. I go. Thanks. That's the one that can make you pass out. Really? Yeah. Okay. I know about that. My friends at EMT, he told me about it. Like, if you go to the bathroom and you push a little too hard, that you can make yourself

faint. Wow. I never knew that. It's the same nerve. They have to pick up people. The Vargas nerve? Yeah. I love that you know this.

Yeah. And my buddy actually had that happen to him, where he fainted. In the bathroom on the toilet. I'm verifying. Did he flush first? He fell over and he hit his head because it was like in New York City. And so there was like a heater right there. I mean, he like, he cut his head open. Oh my God, going to the bathroom? Yeah. That is just, what do I go? Is he fine though? Yeah. fine? Okay, the neuroscientist I prophesied that there was an alternative pathway from the vagina and cervix to the brain, the vagus nerve.

It was found that the orgasm pleasure mechanism doesn't even travel through the spine to the brain. There's just a thing called the vagus nerve and because of it, some people paralyzed below the waist are still able to get sexual pleasure. So that's what it is. Doesn't talk about the fact that you could pass out from it. Yeah. It has to do with orgasms and the pathway that your orgasm

travels. And as far as cervix bumping, the penis can hit the woman's cervix, which is the opening to her uterus. The tip of the penis can bubble against her cervix at the end of a thrust. It isn't harmful at all, but it can be unpleasant for the woman. So bumping her cervix. I think also during different times of month, you can hit the cervix in different ways and it hurts more during different times of month. I'm sure that happens all the time and porn. Exactly. Okay. So that's what we got for the 20 questions. So please, we're done. Tomorrow we're picking a winner. Okay. Not today, but tomorrow we're going to pick a winner and give it to I because we didn't we didn't do that yet. And if you any more questions you can send them for next week. Do you like our 20-sector? Questions segment doesn't make you happy sometimes I had better answers. I apologize. I think you always have better answers

I mean good answers not better. I think you're really honest and open and sweet now We're gonna move into emails. Okay, but first we're gonna talk about the poll so the poll the poll Here's the poll results So the poll. The poll. The poll. Here's the poll results that we posted on Monday. What are you thinking about during sex? Okay. Six percent said, what I need to do later, my job, slash my job. 11 percent said someone else.

37 percent said the lover that I'm with. 46 percent said my technique. That's what I said. That's what you said. You're thinking about your technique. But what does that mean? You're like, am I going in and out right? Or am I doing it right, making or feeling good?

I'm just focusing on making sure that I have a good performance. That's all. And afterwards that you are satisfied. Right. Okay. Got it. Good. Is there anything wrong with that? Nothing's wrong with that. Technique is good. And 37% in love with their with and only 11% said someone else, but maybe they're lying because some people

fancied with other people during sex. Okay. And the new poll. That's up. Besides touch, which sense is most pleasurable during sex? Smell, taste, sound, or sight. Which sense is the most pleasurable? Which sense do you get the most out of besides touch? That's a tough one. Yeah, smell, taste, sound, or sight. How is sight, right? I think so.

But sound is hot too. And taste can be hot and smell. I love how someone smells. God, I don't know. I can't pick. But go to our website and vote right now, ASAP. I love how someone smells. God, I don't know. I can't pick but go to our website and vote right now ASAP. I'm gonna go on this gonna say site because Yeah, visual. Yeah, the visual thing. You're like, oh wow, that's hot. Okay. Got it But I don't know what kind of corny stuff women are gonna come up with

Yeah, you never know what those crazy women. Okay. Hey Emily I've been a podcast fanatic for several years mostly listening to Ted Talks or other dorky science tech related shows. I stumbled across your podcast the other day and quickly became addicted. Since all the podcasts I listened to are free, I would never have thought that I would pay to listen to one. However, paying the very reason, oh, do we read this one yesterday? No. I mean, the very reasonable price, oh, I just read it out loud at the office, because I loved

it. However, paying the very reasonable price of 15 cents a day is more than worth it. Sweet, thank you very much. Sweet, thank you. So she's a premium member. I'm a 32 year old single woman and I recently enjoyed rejoining the dating world and I couldn't have found your show at a better time in my life. I'm pretty open-minded and I'm very comfortable with my body and sex but I don't have many good girl friends to talk about this kind of stuff and feel the same way. So I truly feel like I'm listening to a good new friend when I listen to your show. Any who just want to tell you that I love your show and that you rock,

Jenny from Houston, Texas. She's a premium friends with benefits member. Thanks, Jenny, my new BFF. We are here for you every day, Monday through Friday, one to two, Pacific Standard Time. Love Houston. I know. And you can look after. It's fun. Texas is fun. Austin is super fun. So thanks, Jenny. That's right, everyone. If you're listening right now, become a friend's benefit member. It's 15 cents a day to have better sex. I think it's worth it. Time to do it.

Been thinking about going to Baker Beach, Emily. I have no problems being new to my own backyard. However, still working up to the public thing. Any tips from classical lover? That's how they keep beach around here, right? Yeah, there's Baker Beach. I've been there naked. Have you ever been there naked?

No. No. Why would I do that? What are my tips for you for going to Baker Beach? Just slowly when we move your clothing? I would say you get there, and at first it's weird. And you feel like, oh God, I can never get naked. I can never get.

Because there is a Baker Beach is such a beautiful beach. When it's nice out like on days like today, when it's absolutely beautiful in San Francisco. Yeah. It's a little cooler today. Today wouldn't be a good, bigger beach day, but like yesterday would have been. Anyway, it's right at the foot of Golan Gapridge and it's just beautiful and there is a part of the beach that's nude a little further down and then there's a part that's not nude. So. Can I go in there if I'm not nude? Yeah. It's all good. It's all good. San Francisco,

people don't care. But it is a lot of gay. It's gay. Well, it's gay and red regular. Grey and regular. That's such a bad thing to say. Gains free. I don't mean regular. I don't know that one. I'm just offended everyone. What? I am fed and gray one time. Why? Why? Normal and then gay. Accidentally. Yeah, I just didn't. I didn't mean either. I'm at we'll go move on. But he gave me so much crap for it. But he's probably just did it. I didn't mean it either. I'm at Well, go move on, but no, he gave me so much Grab for it. Please play this teasing. Yeah, we've talked about drinks again. Yeah, that was super fun. It was really fun Okay So being new to pick a reach I just say you kind of ease into it you get there and you think oh god this will be weird

But then you look around you're like everyone's naked and then you just drop your drawers and then there you are naked And that's just my tip for you like see how comfortable you feel come with clothes I wouldn't walk up totally naked and then you just kind of ease into it. It's like the first time I got naked, I went to a topless beach and you know, in France or in Europe, you don't know this, but you know this, but you haven't been to Europe. But all the, a lot of the beaches are topless. So I was in South of France when I was like 22, where after I graduated from college, I went backpacking with a friend of mine and we went to the new beach and I was like really nervous about taking off my top because I was like, that's just of mine and we went to the new beach and I was like really nervous about taking off my top

because I was like, that's just so weird. It's a weird thing, but of course I had to try it. So I took my top off at the beach and we were just lying out all day and everyone's got their top off. Like literally all the women have their top off at the beach, so it's not that weird. But then these American guys came up

and started talking to us and then it was really awkward. Like at first it didn't matter because we were in France, we don't know anyone. But then when the American guys were like, hey, what are you guys doing? I'm like, oh my god, I have no top on. I'm talking to this American dude. So that was weird. But I've never done it before. But I did it. I tried it. That is awkward. Speaking of awkward, can I bring up something? Please, minutes. We took a photo yesterday. Yeah. I thought it was a good photo until somebody said something and then I

until I and then I noticed it too. What? Did you post it up on the website? Yes. Okay, there's a poster. It's a photo of you and I and I leaning over and then you're holding onto me. Right. And it looks like I have my hand in your crotch. I know. But I was actually the funny the best part of it. Yeah. Do you know because it's funny because I was thinking that too I was like, oh you're gonna pretend to grab my cross shell. It's gonna pretend to grab yours, right? But it ended up looking like that anyway. I know it's awesome I went to grab men because the yesterday was testicle Tuesday and we talked all about the testicles And so I so we went downstairs and like oh my god for this picture

I'm gonna grab men as testicles as a joke. I wouldn't really grab your testicles So I went to grab you got scared and then you were just reaching. I don't think you were grabbing mine though. No, but it looks like you are. Looks like my hand is in your pants. I know. Awesome.

Go to sexfully.com and see menist's hand in my pants. A stimulating being in my pants. I thought that was a cute picture though. Yeah, it was a good photo. Yeah, we look happy. Like we actually like each other. Okay, dear Emily and Menace, listening to more and more of your podcasts every day, I love your show. You two are a good team. I've never written to any radio station video cast, however, I find myself typing an email instead of sleeping like I should be. Anyway,

I just listened to the whole episode where you were talking about things that would potentially make sex a little worse. Drugs were mentioned as well as smoking and alcohol. No, I never speak bad of alcohol. Take that back. Menace thinks alcohol and handsets performance, but he's wrong. As a smoker myself, trying to quit and listening to your show has definitely reduced my cigarette intake a lot.

So thank you. Oh my god, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm happy you stopped smoking. I've noticed over the last year that one, it's smaller. Two, I don't last as long as I used to and three, the most embarrassing. Sometimes I can't get up during sex, which was never an issue before I smoked. Third and most important, don't do drugs. Thomas from Joelette, Illinois age 24.

That's awesome. Because you know, the kind say something one because I you know I make out of chicks at smoke and it's so it's so it's I don't know how it's like put a stick in your mouth in a dehydrator right it's so dehydrating like I need like something that like a drink of water right and doesn't it taste bad too it smells terrible and it smells bad right but he's having it yeah but he's having issues with his penis I heard that studies Right. And doesn't it taste bad too, smell bad? It doesn't taste terrible and it smells bad. Right. But he's having it just. And he smells bad. Yeah, but he's having issues with his penis.

I heard that. Studies found that a link between smoking and difficulties having an erection, nicotine tightens blood vessels and restricts blood flow, since a man's erection depends on blood flow, researchers assumed smoking affects erections. In the study published in Addiction Behavior, it was shown that just two cigarettes could cause softer erections and male smokers. Younger smokers might not notice this negative effects right away, but they could be set

on the itself up for problems later. Unfortunately, there's little research on the effects of smoking on women's sexual health, but it's can't be good. Smoking is not good for anything. I use a smell. It stinks. It's so bad.

Do you remember when I smoked, like I smoked casually, but do you remember like I had to smoke when we first started the show, like you didn't know this, but I had to smoke, oh no, I'd go down during the break because it was a three hour show. And I would go down and like smoke a cigarette, like whenever we were doing the show, I felt like I had to, like I'd be looking at the clock, like I can't,

and I just totally let it go. I don't smoke anymore. Anyway, yeah, smoking is bad for your penis, so don't smoke.. Anyway, yes, smoking is bad for your penis. So don't smoke Thomas. Thanks for writing. Okay. We'll talk about alcohol. Thomas alcohol can something like a one or two drinks is fine, but like Getting completely wasted doesn't always enhance doesn't enhance your performance. I peak last weekend I know you did honey. Are you gonna drink again this weekend? Are you gonna be ready to go again? I don't know. I forget what I'm doing this weekend.

Right. I don't drink every weekend. I drink on occasions. Right, and you don't drink during the weekend, right? No. Never. Nothing, never. Never during the week.

That's great. I did last night, but just a little, because I was at the sex school friends and they were flogging me. Oh, yeah, of course. That was fun. You're like, I answered, I'm like, hey, you a little, cause I was at the sex school friends, and they were flogging me. Yeah, of course. That was fun. You're like, I answered, I'm like, hey, you're like, where are you?

Like, I don't know what it sounded like. Did it just say? No, it sounded like something was going on. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Emily, thanks for answering my, okay, this is from Yastra. I love this.

Okay, so I love that we're doing, I love that we're doing a daily show. And then we email all of our premium members. If you become a friend to the benefits member, we answer your questions right away and we email you, let you know that we answered your questions. You can listen, we can respond and then we can have an ongoing dialogue. So thanks for answering my question yesterday show. And the question was about how this woman Lisa is happy with her boyfriend except for

the fact that he says he's too tired to have sex. Do you remember this? Yeah, and I'd suggested start to scare him random blow-jumps. Okay, right, so she addresses that. Okay. Okay, so we were saying like what I said, what I said was like maybe he's got a lot of stress from work, a lot of times when men are feeling stressed or anxiety

about their work situation or about something going on that they don't manifest in them not wanting to sex. And menist thought that she should give them more blow drops. So the question was that the email continues. You have menist recommended that I go down on him more and I just want to tell you that I actually have done that quite often.

I think that was menist's suggestion. The problem he isn't really going down on me at all. It's only happened twice in 10 months. That is something else I'm not used to because in the past guys loved going down on me. I probably should have mentioned in my first email that he does have a labor intensive job, sleeps a lot and smokes pot on a daily basis.

So maybe that he could continue to expect contribute to the low sexual desire. Yes, you fail to mention all this Lisa. It's just weird because we were all together all the time and I'm not, because we're together all the time and I'm not sure when he would have time to please himself. Maybe I should get over it and just be happy that I have a great guy, thanks again Lisa.

Yes, you should, but second. Right, okay, scientists first began to study marijuana in the sex in the 70s. Some researchers found that cannabis seems to have the effect of a love drug in one study, 75% of male pot smoker said the drug and hands their sex life. Meanwhile, another study found that a reptile dysfunction was twice as common in marijuana

users. And other research suggests a dose effect in which small amounts about marijuana have little impact on sexual dysfunction, but more marijuana makes for fewer erections. And I think that that's the case. I did a heavy pot smoker a while ago, and he had a reptile dysfunction. As he was used to young, he was like 28 or 27, and he had a reptile dysfunction. She was used to young. It was like 28 or 27, but he smoked pot every single day. So I believe, and the study says that if you smoke a lot of pot,

it in this, he smokes every day, her boyfriend, that that's going to have effect on his desire, his libido, his ability to perform. Plus why doesn't he go down in her? She should talk to him about it. This, see, that's the part where she messed up. I'm like, I said, started giving him more blow jobs without having him to work more and then I feel that he would start bringing up more sexual desire.

If the guy is hell of tired, of course he's not going to go down on her. Like what does she expect? Like that's not what I said. I do 10 months without Oral, she doesn't get any Oral sex and she goes down on him all the does she expect? Like that's not what I said. Two 10 months without a oral, she doesn't get any oral sex and she goes down on all the time, I'd be pissed. You gotta slowly build back up to where you were. You can't just die right now.

I think he's gotta stop smoking pot. She's just crying. He's gotta stop smoking pot because that's gonna, that's how it's gonna be. They have pot biagra, yeah. Exactly, that would be awesome. Probably in San Francisco they do. So yeah, Lisa, thank you so much for running back.

I love this that we can have on good, because as soon as we need more information, we don't know what we're going to need. So okay, Lisa, so I would say it's the pot thing that could be a big thing and it could be just sapping his sex drive. And plus he sleeps a lot, smokes pot, and he works a lot. So those things are all, those are all point towards erectile dysfunction. Okay. I think men should come up with some date ideas

because he seems to frown on all the classical date ideas. Dinner, movie, picnic. Menis, don't be a pussy and throw some ideas out there on the air, by the way, love the show, longtime listener, and current friends with benefits member. Keep up with the good work, Gerald, from Indiapolis, Indiana. Okay, Menis, what are some good dates?

You want me to throw it out right now? Says throw it out, baby. Think about your past. What's a good date? What's a good date? Las Vegas. Las Vegas is a great date. Okay, but if you can't just go to Las Vegas.

If you can't just go to Las Vegas, I think, man, see, the thing is, I don't go on many dates. Right. I kind of just go you just hook up a check Just hook up with chicks But if I wanted to take a girl out of date What would you do if you're trying to like some new girl you met in your site like what would you do? No, Prash and in a bar is not involved

Right no you could go to bar if that's what you think you want to do you obviously want alcohol involved I am yours what no well the sea if she's open to the bar see if she's a drinker because if she's drinker you're gonna get laid anyways but if she's not a drinker then you're gonna probably have to find try to find like obscure activities like what man, man? There's always like crazy type of events going on. Right. Like at least in our city. I don't know about the cities that they go on. But like, there's like super fun things,

at least here in San Francisco. Yeah. They're like, oh, do you want to go check out the... Comic book convention? No, not the comic book convention. Are the big wheel race in right in San Francisco There's a there's a time where people dislike get on big wheels and they race down there on super fun And super fun right there's always fun quirky events and no matter what town you live in yeah

So I will look more into do something that's more unique than usual. That's a great idea. Thanks men us, you know except for kite flying don't kite fly don't kite fly Okay, we'll kite flying don't kite fly don't kite fly. Okay, we'll Let's do it. Okay, okay, get to know let's do some sex tips. We've got long distance relationships and keeping it the sex hot. We get a lot of emails about people asking about like how do I keep it hot I how what do I do do long distance relationships work and then also we get some phone sex tips at the end because if you're in a long Distraught relationship you might be maybe we have some actually you're gonna like some of this we've got some phone sex tips at the end because if you're in a long district you might be able to get some actually you're going to like some of this. We've got some sexting tips, some phone sex tips and then we've got some simulating sex tips.

There are things that you could do. I'm going to get to that, but the flesh like that you can connect your vibrators to each. You know how you were talking about your, I get to that in a minute. You know, you're saying that you think that we should everyone should have so they can have sex that way. You and me, yeah, the USB connection. Yeah, there's actually something like that where it can do you understand it now? Kind of, yeah. Okay.

So I'll get to them in a minute. All right. That's going to come towards the end of the sex at the good part. Right now, here's the four play leading into long-distriction tips and then we're going to end it with some sex. All right. Reasons why you might be in a long-discussive relationship. So here's reasons why they happen.

Career change moves you across country, you met online and want to commit, you want to go off to school. You have to get on the same page, make an agreement as to when the separation is going to end because you can't be like this is going to go on forever. Six months, a year, plan to reunite, she can move back, you can move back, you can follow our call of quits,

allow enough time to accomplish the goals. So don't have an ongoing, we're just going to be long distance and we don't know what's going to happen. If you think you can move back, you can move back, you can follow our call it quits, allow enough time to accomplish the goals. So don't have like an ongoing, like we're just going to be long distance and we don't know what's going to happen. If you think you could never move and he thinks he can never move them, what is the point in staying in the relationship too long? There is no point. No point.

Communication, the amount of communication has to increase. Be on the same page about scheduling communications and often you chat, keep up with your dates the same as you were doing business meetings, sending gifts or a fun surprise to keep relationships feeling new and exciting. I was in a long business relationship, this reminds me of this was a long time ago and I'm probably about 10 years ago I was dating this guy and he lived in Texas. We met and he lived in Texas, he was moving to San Francisco in a year but we had this long and he sent me every single week

the most amazing, funny care packages and gifts and like he was always, he did an amazing job of being like super present in my life. Like almost too much, like I think he was a little jealous, it was worried I'd be dating or whatever, but every week he sent me an orchid, like the most beautiful orchid, I love orchids. I could not have that much detail. Like I would start forgetting about the girl,

the girl like probably with after a month, I couldn't keep up with that. Yeah, but he loved me. Oh, okay. And then he would send me just hilarious packages like a funny inside jokes and stuff. So yeah, do fun. Like no one sends stuff through the mail anymore. Yeah, it's a bill. This girl that I really like, she moved to Southern California and I would just make... We weren't dating or Southern California and I would just make We weren't dating or anything, but I would make these really unique postcards I would like either find really unique postcards are actually make postcards. Oh cool, and you sent him to her? Yeah, like I actually like took a Popeye's chicken box and cut it out and I made a postcard out

I called myself the postcard king on the west coast That's so cute. Because yeah, a lot of my friends went to college and I would just find the sickest postcards that you could find. I love postcard shopping. That's a fun thing to do. Getting letters in the mail that never gets old. Yeah, I love it.

I love it. It was really cool. OK. I had one long distance relationship for two weeks. OK. What happened? So of course it was high school, but this is the funniest part because I got so dicked on this one. Okay. Alright, so I was living in the Bay Area, which is, you know, a surround outside. San Francisco is part of the Bay Area, but I lived

in this surrounding area, right? And I was a senior and I was dating a junior. So I had to go off to college next year, which I did, and then I kept on dating her because we lived in the same area. So I was in college doing my thing. I was fine with the relationship. And then she applied to go to all these schools that she didn't get into.

OK. But she really wanted to go to one in San Diego Okay, so I came up with a bright idea. I'm like hey Why don't you just go to a JC down there junior college right and then transfer to the school that you want to go to because you only had She only had to take like one class and she would have been in okay So she goes what about us, you know, and I go, well, me, I don't care. I'm like, I'm doing my thing. I'm going to school. I don't, you know, it's cool. We can make it work. I know we deal. And then she goes, okay, cool. I guess I, you

know, I really want to, you know, make this work and blah, blah, fine. Dude, two weeks she was down in San Diego partying and she calls me up she's so what do you see in the future for us and I go well I hopefully were you know still together and then she goes yeah it's not gonna work out right then she was part of the men's little heart yeah I am yeah I know I'm not I got it smoking hot chick right after that. Of course. But like after like partying and stuff, she ends up moving back like after a year

and she tried to get with me and I would. And you're like so done, done and done. Whatever happened to her. This is your high school girlfriend. I don't know what, whatever happened to her. Like we kept in contact for a little while but then she ended up just a couple of weeks, right? Disappearance.

But I thought it was hilarious. That is hilarious. She's like, no, I'm in San Diego and you'll see ya, but then she wanted you back. They always come back around. Yeah, but once that happens, I'll never take somebody back. No?

Hell no. If you like, did me dirty. You said, yeah? No way. I'm sorry, I'm just saying. You don't want to f you over. Okay, remember that. Okay, long distance sex, I'm just saying. I don't wanna f you over. Okay, remember that. Okay, long distance sex, sex and sex.

Centerotic emails, old fashioned mail can also be a nice surprise. Sexing throughout the day are texting a racy photo creates anticipation for a phone sex day later. It's fun to sex because you can re-read the message later. I love reading like my sex and stuff. You can go through and read them.

Although I haven't been sexing out lately, but I used to like read them to my friends because they were really funny. So here's some phone sex tips and we've also got some stuff about Skype sex. Oh, we got to get into it all. Yes. Okay. Before you dial, dim the lights, have a glass of wine or dip into an erotic novel. Start off slow, say what you want to do or what you're thinking. I'm wearing that coconut oil that you like. I'm on the chair in my nightgown. Try having a cheat sheet for what to say if you're not sure. Some people might have never done it before.

Oh no. Get into fanaties and descriptions. Make your realistic so your partner can imagine what you, what you, with you. I'm imagining you bent over the bed. I'd like to squeeze your breasts. It's important to breathe deeply so your partner knows you're enjoying it. Speak slowly, emphasize the letter, reach word. I'd like to squeeze your breasts. It's important to breathe deeply so your partner knows you're enjoying it. Speak slowly, emphasize the letter, reach word.

So you talk to your, and you respond to what he's saying. So I imagine you slowly penetrating me while I'm bent over the bed once you both reach climax and the call and the call once you both reach climax because you're both exhausted. Like your way of coddling is just like hanging up. But that's what you do when you're having phones

like you just describe scenarios that have happened in the past or what you're thinking or like I'm thinking about your large Television set whatever. I always take guys with like huge TVs. I don't know what it is. It's really weird So Skype Skype sex. Have you ever had Skype sex? No, never okay me neither. I just got a Skype account this one You did? Yeah, okay Skype sex. I've never done it But I had a guy I was dating last year's like let's do Skype sex and we never out around to it. But, okay, tell her what you want. Dirty talk, undressing, mutual masturbation. Careful protecting your internet connection. Don't show your face if you're not confident with

your privacy settings. Just like sending dirty texts. Watch porn together, sing a porn and mutually masturbate it to it. Okay, so here's the sex toy thing. It's called the simulator. Yeah. Where each partner connects their sex toy to the computer and the internet syncs up the toys with both members using it. So it's like the flashlight to the computer, to the internet, to the computer, to the rabbit vibrator.

Talking about it. Okay, I didn't get it. I get it now. Yeah. So you can simulate, like he could be, he could be have he could be penetrating the flashlight which is like a vagina. Uh-huh. Toy. It looks like a toy It looks like a vagina the heat and texture and she's got her rabbit, let's say and they're all synced up on the computer So he thrusts. Yes. No way. Yes, we have to see you make this the simulator. I don't know look it up

The simulator sin S I N U L a T O R no Yes, so I could do it you could have a flashlight vagina fake vagina thing and I could have my rabbit and then Did the I feel you I feel you like I would feel you penetrating it and it synced up with my vibrator Yeah, crazy crazy things you could do this even if you're not long to this relationship tomorrow show Learn the best techniques for central massage and learn how it can enhance your sex life Central messages are awesome like they hit all your pressure points and all these people are talking about like my partners I'm one of sex or I'm kind of too tired like you could like hit all these pressure points and just like blow your partner's mind and we're gonna teach you how to do that tomorrow.

Good. Good, excited. Yeah, the show won't buy pretty quick. I know. I think we're done. Yeah, we are. We're done and done. We're gonna do it.

All right, everyone. Thanks so much for listening to Sex to Emily. It was a good for you. Email me feedback at sextoemlee.com.