Sex With Emily - Sexy Show & Tell

Episode Date: January 20, 2016

 On this show, Emily tackles your emails all about improving and enhancing the sexual side of your relationship. She provides guidance on the best ways to communicate your bedroom needs to your partner, determining the right time to get intimate in a new relationship, and how to help lift your partner up when their confidence is waning. Emily and Anderson also plunge into polyamorous territory when they discuss OKCupid’s new feature for finding threesome partners. Find out just how many online daters are solely committed to monogamy, how many would be willing to venture into the land of many mates and how many Americans would do porn for a cool million bucks. From new sex tricks to newfound intimacy to maintaining confidence with a new body, today’s show is sure to get you where you want to be...in bed. Don’t miss it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily tonight show How to get more sensual sex when to get intimate in a new relationship. Thanks for listening. Tonight show is brought to you by Rave by Wevibe. It's a new powerful and centrally sculpted G-Spot vibrator. Okay, if you've been running around in circles looking for your G-Spot, search no more. The Rave will lead you directly to the gates of G-Spot glory. With rave by Weeva, you'll enjoy a central intimate experience.

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They have a We Connect app. Get ready to twist and shout with the rave by We Vive. Go to We Vive.com or just click on the We Vive banner on sexthethemele.com. Use promo code Emily for a special discount for all you amazing sex with Emily listeners. Snares. got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, though? What do you mean, like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here. So, I'm gone. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithmla.com. You can check it out of our podcast. Sign up for our mailing list. Have you signed up for our mailing list? It's so awesome. Are emails? Do you love them? I'm here with Anderson. Hi, Anderson. Yeah, I am. How you doing? Good. How are you, kid? I am so good. Yeah. What's wrong with people? Who is not signed up for your email?

I don't know because people tell me all the time, like yeah, like your podcast, I love your emails. You know, I hate getting like junk email from people and I'm being totally honest, but like when I'm having a bad day, which is a lot of days for me and I'll be, I'll have to go to the email, I hate going to the email.

Me too. And I'll be slogging through all the email. And then I get a little sex with Emily's show, email, and I'm like, oh, and it's like, brings a little cheer, a little cheer to your dad. Oh, that. So if you like, if you're working in the office or something, know that you're just gonna get a little random cheer

from the end. Exactly, yeah. Exactly. If you've missed a podcast for the week or you wanna read, you know, because we do a lot of like information that's like written, we do a lot of journalism, like we do a lot of time. So it's a full time job.

More than full time. Well, that's new. How much this woman works on sex. It's like, I'd say 65, 70 hours, at least. That would think pretty much every waking moment you're thinking some part of your brain is devoted to the show. It's true.

And what you do. It's true. And even in my goddamn dreams, it's an exact thing. I'm like, oh my god, was I really on the Sibian? Am I like Lord God? And you're so exciting dreams. Yeah. It's so bad, you're right. Not like you're so exciting, Drake. Yeah, I'm pretty exciting, Drake. That's so bad, you're right.

You're having a game about your cubicle. Exactly, that's true. Thank God, thank God I've not been in a cubicle since I was like 25 years old. But nothing against anyone who's listening. No, I love that you're in a cubicle because you guys have to actually admire people who have very like steady, stable jobs.

Like my mom always says to me, and if you guys have not listened to the live show podcast, it's been people a lot. That's a reminder, I to do that. I need to go back to listen to it. It's all about you You're in it and but I do I tell the whole story and people have been very retained by it How I started this podcast and hard I came down, but you know my mom always says to me I mean and chose the easier out whenever I'm complaining because she's right like you're smart you can get a job And um, but this is what I'm Your passion is your crotch and I can I do it's my crotch like you're smart, you can get a job. And um, but this is what I'm doing. You're falling your passion. I am passionate.

I am passionate. You're a crotch and I can mind your foot. It's my crotch. It's your crotch. Your crotch is the thing. Not mine in particular. No. All the crotch is listening.

I care about your crotch is. Um, crotch I, crotch show. That you should start a new show called the crotch show. I should start a new podcast. Like you. You're just whipping out new podcasts. I started a cin uh cinematics uh earlier this year. New podcast. I want to check it out. Yeah, You're just whipping out new podcasts. I started the cinematics earlier this year. New podcast, I won't check it out.

Yeah, we're up to episode two or three now. I was actually gonna call you because I'm like craving to see a movie next week, because I haven't seen any yet this year. Go see Room. Oh, okay. It'll freak you out. Freak man, a good way of bad weight.

It's right now, I'm just freaked out by the stuff in my mind. Best picture. It's a great movie. I love it. Okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm seeing a movie when all this hell is over. No, it hasn't been a hell. Okay. I'm gonna do it. I'm seeing a movie when all this hell is over. No, it hasn't been a hell. It's been a really, it's actually been a great week because

so January the month of January we have four sex conferences. It's January like a ass room month. No, no, no, that's a ass month is in, in a month is August. Okay, but January is sex conference month. So, sounding month is a sounding month. No, god, no, I do not sound a used to the thing. Your penis. We don't talk about that our sounding month. No, God, no. I don't know how to start. I do not sound like you're just a thing, or penis. We don't want to talk about that for a month, or for a minute. Thank you. Don't do that. But no, we have our anami, which is the

adult novelty manufacturer's expo. That was last week, and it was actually really fun because every, and this is the one that's open, just to be to be kind of thing. And so all, you know, literally there's a hundred different manufacturers there of like a gazillion different sex toys and products and it was really funny because there's this one brand called Sports Sheets.

And I love them. If you ever looking for like, you know, anything that kinky bonded, you want to tie your partner up, but it seems like kind of confusing to you and you don't have to buy, you know, cancels. No, everything is velcro and really cool. So they've been around for 20 years, 25 years, the company. Nice guy from Michigan started at Tom. And it was so funny because they were like, let me do a demo. And I've known their products for years. So this guy you started

at, he's like, come over to the sports sheets booth because they're all these booths, right? Everyone's like, Emily, Emily, because you know, they all know me and they want me to check out their toys. And I really only talk about the products on the show, just so you all know that I've tried and then I like. So sports sheets, they actually have sent me like their underbed restraints, which are really cool because they just actually live under your bed. And there's four cups. Yeah. So they're under bed because you put them under the bed when you don't. So they're always under bed. Parents use them on their troubles. Kids. They restrain their children. I don't know. They've never talked about that. But like, under my bed,

if I ever want anyone ever wants to, you know, cuff me up there there's a bell crowd. Or made. I'm thinking of her again. I know. She just came today, my new one. She keeps sex slaves in her room. I know. Exactly. I lock people up. Be careful. She never wants to see me. It's weird. It's like, I'll be there when you're not there. Maybe that's why. Does she not go in your room? No, she does. My house is so small. My house is not my room. That's a good sign of a good make. Because obviously she's not not going your room. No, she does. Oh, my house is so small. My house is not found. That's a good sign of a good May because obviously she's not sweeping under your bed because she would have found your sex restraints on Exactly. No, the terrified of your room. Right. Well, no, they're under the mattress. So anyway, they're really cool because they always live there

And I'm like, hey, why didn't you just buy it? But anyway, sports sheet what I didn't realize they've this sheet, right? It's nice, cotton really good sheet, but Anything Velcro will stick to it. So the guy who runs it, he took out Tom, he took all these restraints and showed me how cool it is that it's just Velcro, but when you put it down, it's actually, I can't lift my arms up. So he had me, if you go to my Instagram, sex with Emily, you can check it out,

and he had me all like, you know, bond-bounded, bind, I was bind, bound, down, and then he had Madison, bound. I was bound. And then it's just cool, because you can stick all these cool Velcro, like you I was bind, bound, down. And then he had Madison, but bound. I was bound. And then it's just cool, because you can stick all these cool velcro like you want a spreader bar,

or you want, there's this doggy, spreader bar. Spreader bar in your legs, you know. It's spreadin' the legs there. Yeah. So here's the funny thing, they have a doggy strap, right? It's like a for doggy style. Sounds like not for Stanley.

It's not for like your dog, your trouble to animal. But it goes around, like if you're having doggy style sex, you pull your partner close to you Um, and you wrap it around her waist and then you've doggy style Like a rubber band so you like it's like a bips Yeah, like a wrestler against the rope. Yeah, but you like pull them in and you can like like jack it up So it's in the right place, but they also have a vibrating strap. So there's a vibrator. They hit your close It's just super cool. So he's like try this. So we had me do with Madison, my producer.

You did video. Yeah, we go, oh my god. We did like an hour video, it was hilarious. So that was super fun. I always pumping Madison in front of an audience. I look and there's people taking photos. It was like a tourist thing. I mean, usually it's not.

It was really funny. But Madison actually posted in her Instagram, which you've checked out. It was like, what's her? What's her Instagram? It's Madison Price, check it out. You've seen me tag her a lot, but it's funny, because she's like,

my boss is really running this day. We've seen you tag her quite a bit. That's what I did a bit. And then I did this week, so it was busy. I did a show for CBS News, which is gonna, or for real on time, say, and it was all about online dating. Not about frauds.

It was a five-day segment. Or zombies, you don't have to be anything about frauds. It was five, it's gonna be a five-day segment, and it's all about online dating, best practices. And then one of the days is what if you don't want a data line and then we find a couple who have been together over a year and met online. So it was really cool like reviewing you know, bumble, you know, you don't tinder, right? Swipe app.

I'm familiar with that. Swipe. I've never swiped anywhere. I miss that old world. You don't need to swipe. We swipe so you don't have to. So bumble is the new one. It's like the Sadie You don't need to swipe. We swipe so you don't have to. So Bumble is a new one. It's like the Sadie Hawkins app where women swipe.

So women choose the guy. And then if they match, they send the first message though. And I know a lot of women have been very empowered by it because they're like, it's my job. They're on the app. I'm reaching out. And they even said that Amy Schumer met her new boyfriend on Bumble. So I talked about that. I talked about H that. I talked about

Hinge I talked about which is another swipe app. I talked about There's one for dogs tin dogs. No, come on Dogs yeah, who would they hook it up with other dogs? No, but people love their dogs like here's my dog your dog Let's go up the running cannon go for high. Oh, I see they meet through their dogs exactly and then today I did the fab life Which is imagine what I could have done with Stanley back in the day. Oh my god. Oh Stanley I see. They meet through their dogs. Exactly. And then today, I did the fab life, which is a touch. You imagine what I could have done with Stanley back in the day. Oh my God. Stanley, does he just a heartbreaker? Damn.

I could have just, yeah, I could have cleaned up. Yeah, I'm the marriage. Dog will get you laid. Yeah. Stanley got, I realized just having a dog. Daily laid? Well, I've already dating someone. So you watched my dog for two and a half years.

He almost unlaid me. He's like Stanley seeming in the bed. I'm like, yes. He delayed you. Well, it's funny because He's like, Stanley's sleeping in the bed. I'm like, yes. He delayed you. Well, it's funny because Ross was like, I brought him over the house and and that's like my favorite thing is sleeping with Stanley. Like I told you, I woke up a few weeks ago and I was like,

yeah, petting the side of the, we're standing. My wife and I fight over him. He's very, he's very kind of friendly. He's so lovely and thank you. I'm excited to watch him next week. But Fab Life, I did that today. That's gonna air February 2nd. It's a talk show syndicated Chrissy Teigen's The Host.

And I talked about K-Lexercises. Nice. Yeah, you know me. And I had a walk into her audience of women through doing their K-Lex exercises. Were they all cool with it, or did any like run for the doors? No, they were like, okay, it was fun.

But it was like, you know how it is, if you do a talk show, any of these popular talk shows, you're there for five hours. They're running around. They do know how to do this and that. And you're gonna be seeing these three things, and everything's checked. And then you're there for four hours, They're running around. They do know how to do this and that. And you're gonna be saying these three things and everything's checked.

And then you're there for four hours and my segment is four minutes. Yeah, TV, they have no respect for time. No, for goodness' back. It's true. It's a lot of hurry up and wait. TV. So that was fun.

And also, I'm doing, if you are in this area, Valentine's Day, it's coming up fast. Oh, Anderson, I'm so glad I was. Has it already been a year since I've heard you say Valentine's Day. Oh, this is my Michigan accent comes out. Yeah, it has been. It's been a good valentine's day valentine's day. It's coming up yo and Anderson the best thing was when you texted me to watch Stanley that week I assumed that that you were out of town because you were going away valentine's day with your

wife. Damn it. Sure enough, I said, oh great. now I'll have a Valentine having Stanley and you're like, oh shit, it's Valentine's Day. I had no idea it was Valentine's Day. Yeah, February 14th, every year. Does Valentine's Day always land on Presidents weekend? No, I mean, yes, pretty much it does. Really?

Yeah, really? I love your way. Because I'm going out of town, I'm going to Denver to see a band and I had nothing to do with romance. Had to do with money. Do you want sex toy to bring her? Ween is getting back together. We are going to Denver to see my favorite band

who's been broken up for five years. Who? She's like, sure. Ween. Ween. So anyway, it's coming up. Anderson knows about it now. You should too.

On February 2nd. Yes. 7 p.m. I'm coming workshop. I want a sex toy. At Hustler Hollywood, but it's at West Covina. Ooh. Ooh.

So if you're in West Covina, which is, is that what it's called? Yeah, it's up by Orange County. There's a lot of people out there. Okay, so calm you guys. It's shopping with Emily. So I'm going to take you shopping to find the best gifts that you want to find for you, the lover in your life. Send an email to RSVP at sexwithmla.com because I will see you there because it'll be

fun. And I love seeing it run. Take your shopping so you won't mess up and get her like pots and pans. That is not messing up. You should get her an apron and... Right. Get her a new vacuum. Yeah, maybe some pre-made old vitamins.

But you didn't write exactly. You don't have to get, oh, maybe with your case. Hey, what are you talking about? I don't talk about that. Is she pregnant? No. Oh my gosh, she's pregnant. No, she's not.

I promise you, my wife's not pregnant. I'm not scheduled to have a child at this moment. I promise you. Okay, got it. Fear. But you tell me not to feel. I mean, I'll be really excited. I'm going to be sure.

I'm going to be sure. I'm going to be sure. My life was going to be over. Kids are life killers. They're fun killers. It's kind of true. Two of my friends and babies over the holidays, but two of my best friends backed back, like one headed in Christmas, one headed the day before and it was, I have a talk to them. I know there's a good chance.

They're out of my life forever. Well, if we do have a kid, my life will be, it just won't be fun anymore. It'll be great. It just won't be fun. Well, it's funny. I just went to the stand-up thing and it was like a storytelling series

and there was this guy, he goes, okay. Was it the moth? No, it wasn't the moth, but it was something like that. He got, he said, okay, you guys, I don't know if you had any of your fathers here, but okay, think about everything that you love doing if you had any of your fathers here, but okay, think about everything that you love doing, like things in your life that you just everything that makes you happy. Blackout drunk. Put those aside, because you're never gonna do them again. Once you have a kid. See, but that's not true. It comes to your life.

Kill comedy too. I remember I'll never forget. I went to some comedy show where like big my favorite comedians were all doing their act that night and comedians were all doing their act that night and just happened to be that they all recently had kids and every single one of them Just did like dad jokes and like jokes about being at dad. I'm like, ah kids kill comedy too. It lets you read unless you're dead And you can like that. Yeah, it's true It doesn't kill up. No, it's just a little pause and it's supposed to be the best thing ever They do come from sex. So it's related to what you do. No, I support people having children. I'll come visit you all I'll send you a nice basket. I'm not gonna have kids in my own But let's talk about sex a little bit more sex than news because I know you love sex than news Okay, Cupid very popular dating site. They added a feature to find three-some partners

The mystical and coveted three-some a wonders achievement Achievement often pursue that rarely materializes, but now okay Cupid is helping make the dreams of those pursuing polyamorous trists come into fruition. On Friday, the dating site rolled out a new feature, allowing users who are listed as seeing someone are married or in an open relationship to link their profiles and search for other people to join their relationship. Then the couple will be able to double team, perspective lovers, and cheesy pickup lines. I guess so. No more swing or clubs needed.

Organize a beautiful manajit to offer the comfort of your bed. So here's the interesting thing. The new feature comes with increasing demand for polyadabraines relationship. So the site says that 40% 44% of your users would consider dating someone already involved in open relationship. Apparently 24% of okay, okay, cupid users are seriously interested in group sex. Seriously interested.

I wonder if like the options were like moderately interested somewhat. Considering that nearly every dude wants to be involved in group sex and girls are more inclined to you by sexual, the figure should be at least 67% but right now it's 24. The number of people who said they are solely committed to monogamy is 44% down from 56% in 2010.

So we all just becoming a polyamorous love circle in this country. I don't know. Super AIDS is coming. No people just use protection. Hey, you know what this is, Amr. It's a response to, I think it's called Thrender. Is that what it's called? Thrender. Yeah, that's it. Exactly. It's just with resumption. Okay, we? Thrender. Yeah, that's it. Exactly. Just with three sums and they're like,

hey, we could work this into our model and gag it or that. I'm like, why not? Why not? So yeah, if you wanted a three sum, the cover to three sum, check that out. Also, people love the three sum, you know, but it's funny because I was talking about this one and two of friend and he was like,

yeah, I've had them, they're not so great, they don't work out. But I personally had success, I have to say. But only if you're in a really good place. What does success mean? I've never had a bad, I've had several thresomes, handful.

Any relationships were you involved in? No, that's why. I happen to think the best ones are when you're casually dating someone and then you're like, oh, that's kind of people. Yeah. Right. It's tricky.

A lot of people who are married can make it up and you should check out my show. I do it with Holly and Michael, the swingers. A few weeks ago, people love that show. No point in telling. He's hot, Michael. Okay. One in 10 Americans would do porn for one million hours. Wait a minute.

Did you sleep with those guys? No. You're talking about how hot he is. He's hot. He wants to do it. Yeah, I'm sure he does. Yeah. But we've, yeah, no, yeah.

I'll keep you posted. It'd be good material for the show. One in 10 Americans would do porn for $1 million. The pie figure, why not? It might make him some more money after that. I mean, the Kim Kardashian. Everybody has a price. And while that might not be entirely true

for many Americans, it's the case for more than you think. They admit that they would be willing to go to incredible, often horrible lengths for a big fat paycheck, according to new survey of 1,000 people conducted by 1pole.com. For $1,000, 15% of people will be willing to shoplift or bet on a fixed sporting event. What? For $100,000, 25% of people will swipe a street sign. What? I've done that. I've done both. I've done all these things. I know. One in five to four to signature or steal from a restaurant hotel. I stole a static towel. Absolutely. I stole from those

corporate pricks. Yep. For a cool million, Americans would commit credit card fraud, punch a stranger in the face, smuggle drugs over the border, or start an amateur porn. I've done all those things but the amateur porn. And I've started an amateur porn. You have? I didn't start. I didn't start.

Yeah, that's not what they mean, though. I have, you know, that. You can't be like close. I wasn't naked. No, no, there's a, it's called marriage 2.0. And it's, and I play myself. I help couples open up the relationship. She takes notes on sex and banging,

and she gives notes to them as they're banging Exactly. No, I don't do that. But that actually would be a good service So men were nearly three times more likely than women to perform a sex act a stranger for a million or a billion four times When you get murder for a billion that's so dumb though and you go to jail for your life and make a billion bucks Yeah, they're not saying you're gonna get murder and not go to jail right? People are saying you're billion unless you're going to get murder and not go to jail. Right. People are silly. Can't spend your billion unless you're an alchopped.

Dude, I know. What are these people thinking? Okay. I've got some emails. Do it. Let's do it. Let's get into the bee balls. Okay.

Thanks everyone. E-mailing me feedback at sexwithemily.com. I so appreciate you emailing me. I love getting your emails. And when you include your name, your age, where you live, how you listen, such a much to ask. Picture. Okay, but first, quick mention here, I got to tell you about texture. Okay, these are my sponsors. So I love them to keep the show free, and this is an amazing service. So I just want to know what's your new year's resolution?

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Check it out. You'll love it. I say it whenever I'm magazine again. Also the womanizer, okay? This toy is the talk of the sex toy world. I can not go a day with people who don't even like art in the industry being like, have you heard of the womanizer? So if you've listened to the show, I've talked about it.

I even reviewed it. A while back, the owner's asked me if they could send me one and I've talked about it on the show, you know, because I agree to every sex toy. What am I going to say? No. It was designed in Germany and unlike anything else in the show, you know, because I agree to every sex toy. What am I going to say? No. It was designed in Germany and unlike anything else in the market, it indirectly stimulates the clitoris using suction. It's kind of like a sexy ear thermometer, it's what it looks like.

Silicone cylinder on the face. It's like a sexy ear thermometer. It is though. It has little, yeah, it has, like, you've got to check it out. It's kind of like, you place it with your clitoris, kind of like how their partner might use their mouth. But while it's on, you can vary the suction and move it to create this just like really intense experience.

I kind of think it's how every woman wants a guy to know her clitoris and he doesn't really know how to suck it or lick it like this. So this would be a great tool to show your guy like, hey, just machine's doing what you learn. Are you sure you can't stand up in the dangles? No. No. But most of them in the focus group achieved orgasm in one minute.

So it's a 60 second orgasm. I get to. I was like, no way. Big fix. Yeah. Big fix. Exactly. So back to me, yeah, I tried it.

They weren't kidding. It's amazing. The suction's adjustable. You position it to create all these really cool sensations that I'm like, oh, yeah. That's like, if I could explain to my guy and be like, this is exactly how you should go down to me or touch me like the women eyes are nose. I don't know how it knows. It's in its own category. There is no other toy like it. Go to sexwithemley.com. Click on the womanizer banner for more information.

And you'll see what I'm all talking about here. I'm just saying it's the talk of the town. This is how you this is how you suck, Matt talk of the town. This is how you do it. This is how you suck my lid. That should be like, this is how you suck it. Yeah. Okay, emails. Hi. This penis can serve no purpose anymore.

People feel that way. There's always use for penis in cartel. Those little 2001 reference. What'd you say? This penis can serve no purpose anymore. What's that for? 2001. How? Talking to Dave. Yeah, it's lost on you. What's that for? 2001. How?

Talking to Dave. Yeah, it's lost on you. You're not a cinnophile. No, I was. People who know how know what I'm talking about. Okay, you won't. I'll play it. You've got it right there.

You're such a clip master. This conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye. Doesn't make me a clip master. It just makes me a movie man. Clip, not clip. Or clip, maybe. I have no idea.

That's how the robot in 2001 talking to Dave Don't know I get it. I'm so that we clarified that no I'm kind of the most dude. I'm a 26 year old woman from Austin, Texas. I listened to your podcast on iTunes podcast app I really enjoyed your podcast as I'm currently working on my masters in health education Eventually my goal is to be a sexual health educator I'd be with my boyfriend over six months and we're fairly active in bed I'm asking my masters in health education. Eventually my goal is to be a sexual health educator. I'd be with my boyfriend over six months and we're fairly active in bed,

but despite my goals to be a sex educator, I found myself at a loss for words when I try to communicate my needs. I'm able to orgasm most of the time with them during intercourse and when we're not afraid of bringing toys, the bedroom, we've gone out and purchased vibrators together and used them often. My issue is he doesn't seem to be willing to be put in the time for foreplay to get me

warmed up. What I really want is to be romance or for him to give me some central tension before our clothes even come off and continue after they do, but I'm not sure how to communicate that without making him feel like what he's done so far is not good enough. I've tried to drop hints, sometimes not very gracefully, and it's gotten slightly better, but even when I do get some foreplay time, you always go straight for the clip.

How do I effectively communicate to him that I need him to slow down? Thanks, Lee Ann. Lee Ann, I understand the communication canundrum, canundrum of communication, totally get it, and I want you to know that I've been a sex educator for 10 years and it even took me a while into the show, into doing it, to talk to my partner. Even let's talk about it.

I'm much better at it now, but just know this. It gets easier with practice and he wants to please you in the 4-blade apartment. Like believe me, he just doesn't know how. And since you know what might work for you, we have to find the right language to communicate your needs. So, I don't know, Leanne, maybe you're worried about hurting his feelings.

Try framing it in a more positive way. So, I'd like to talk about the compliments so much. Here's this, saxophone through your so incredible babe, I love the way you kiss me. And you know it would would be even hotter if you spend some time going down on me kissing Before you like go down to me if you like kiss my inner thighs and like Slowly and dress me like that time that you like Unbutton my shirt or you just give them an example of maybe one time. You did it or just what you would like

So you tell them what you love and something you'd like even more You're so good with your hands. I want to feel them all over me. So something like that. So you're not being like, I need more of this. I need more of that. Because instantly I think when you get feedback as a guy, you're nagging. You're nagging. Hey, what would you call that a compliment sandwich? Compliment sandwich. Can you just call it manipulation? You could. But you also say like, you know, I love when you do this, it's incredible. Now, it's a compliment sandwich. So you're getting compliments, you're getting suggested. Like you're calling that as manipulation in itself,

I wrote it. You called it that, but if you all want to get the sex that we want. So also, the end, if you're played show and tell, a little foreplay game, what? Is that harkin back to like childhood? Yeah. Oh, no. It's kind of like she knows the rules. And I think that you guys both know the rules, but you can get your point across. So let's say you liked every nipples rub, you can show him how you want to be touched. Because it sounds like you just need more upstairs touching

than him, just go over the clip. And I've been saying this for years. I've even, guys, are like, I've been together with it. And I'm like, what? Like you've never touched my breasts. You go right in the unzip the pants. I'm like, do I even you've never touched my breasts. You go right in, they're unzip the pants. I'm like, do I even have breasts? Like, do you even know, like if you sell my breasts

in a lineup, would you pick them out? Like guys, I've been sleeping with her six months. I'm like, I don't think he's ever seen my breasts. I'm a vagina, guys. A vagina booth. No, most guys are, because you guys are turd on. I get it. I get it.

Most guys are boob guys, actually. Yeah. They're ass guys, I think. You don't see Rhino plastic happening to the vagina, nearly as much as the boob jobs occurring. Well, they're easier to get. And Rhino plastic don't see Rhino Plasty happening to the vagina nearly as much as the boob jobs occurring. Well, they're easier to get. And Rhino Plasty is where I mean, vaguoplasty, like, start moving vaguoplasty.

Rhino is still. The nose. That's funny they call it Rhino because the rhino is having a problem. Rhino, I know. And I don't think I can do it that. So let's say you like have your nipples robbed, Leanne. Show him how you want to be touched. And you can just like, seductively like, you're like, ah, this feels really good.

And show him that, like, that's what you did to yourself when you're masturbating and have him put his hands over and mimic that because we have so many Roger's zones that are often ignored back of legs, neck, behind the ears and they typically need to be stimulated adequately before we come become a rouse before the belt and guys like I said, he's all turned on your boyfriend. I'm sure he loves you. He's got his bone or he's like I just got him into it, right He's got his bone, you know, he's got a tower on him. Here's the reason why Liam and everyone that that their Ractions are the center of their sexuality So they don't understand touching the partners is a need. It's actually requirement before intercourse

Don't speak for all mankind. Many men. Okay. And if he's observing at all, which hopefully he is, he'll notice you touching certain spots to yourself and he'll hop on and he'll figure out that's what you like. Exactly. Yeah, you might even become threatened.

Like, oh, she doesn't have to do it. What I can do it. Exactly, you can like moan, compliment him, tell me he's doing a great job. Pat is, you know, hey, good job, honey. Just take his hand and guide it, guys want. They want to be told what they do. They don't want to ask for the direction. They don't want to ask that you don't. They's like, hey, good job, honey. Just take his hand and guide it. Guys want, they want to be told what to do. They want direction, but they don't want to ask for the direction.

They don't want to ask that they don't want to have a conversation just like you don't, because it's uncomfortable. But you can take his hand and put it wherever you like and he's going to accommodate you unless he's a dick. Right. It sounds like he's not. You're not able to communicate, which I get. So those are some ways to do it.

So man, good luck. Let me know how it goes. I think that's going to be great for you. So when to get it to bit in a new relationship. Dear Emily, this is the first. I actually filed Patty's rule. She means Patty's stanger and didn't have sex before monogamy. But now my question is when is the right time in a monogamous relationship to have sex? I've known my boyfriend since high school and we're now seniors in college.

We recently reconnected and he made our relationship official after two months of dating. I actually feel relieved knowing there's no rush to have sex and knowing that I haven't already ruined a good thing, finally learning from past experiences. So when is the time to take it to the next step and get intimate? Thanks for your help. I'm an avid reader of your columns, your writings, and your writings are what finally got me on track to have a healthy relationship. Thanks, Audra. Oh, Audra, I'm so glad that I can help you and I'm going to help you some more here. So, um, okay. Audra. First of all, Audra. I'm always really well. Good one. It's a weird name. I love the name Audra. They miss spelled Audra. Now I like

it. I have a friend named Audra in San Francisco. It's odd. Okay, so this is what I love. I love the name Audra. They misspelled Audrey. Now I like it. I have a friend named Audra and San Francisco. It's odd. Okay, so this is what I love. I love when people email and they're like, listen, I'm totally self-actualized. Like I understand what my issue is and how we do with it. So I love that she said, this was my past problem and I tried to correct it. So great job learning from your past

and making positive changes with this new guy. And I'm glad I can help you in your growth. But the here was her issue. So she said in the past, I'm assuming she's up with this new guy. And I'm glad I can help you in your growth, but the hero's her issue. So she said in the past, I'm assuming she's up with guys too quickly. Now Patty's dangered, millionaire matchmaker was on the show, as you recall. And she, Patty's rule, which she's talking about,

is actually based on Pat Allen, who's an educator, her teachings. And to break it down simply, Pat Allen says, you need to wait for commitment to have sex. And the reasoning is that commitment to have sex. And the reasoning is that when you have sex, especially as a woman, the brain releases the hormones, like the oxytocin, all that, that makes you

feel more attached to the person. And oftentimes, when women have sex too quickly, they end up falling for the wrong guy because they have sex too soon. I have to say, if you have sex quickly, it's like, you're so attached that you can't see the red flags waving in the distance because this guy's amazing. And he's everything, but you barely know him because you slept with him on the first date So

Okay, oh, that's just your background on why she waited to be monogamous before she gets intimate But she has not gotten intimate yet. So I drop I'm gonna assume you're already being intimate with kissing and foreplay I'm just gonna make that assumption that some of that's happened in the last two months Which is a great place to start and as far as as timing goes, like the time to actually have intercourse, just don't pressure on yourself. There is no rush. And it sounds like you found a really patient guy. I would say just keep on doing what you're doing.

Make sure that you're focusing right now on learning what your body likes and enjoying sex and what your body needs. Because a lot of women, it's very common that they have sex to please their partner or to, when they're having sex, thinking more about what their partner needs are, especially at your age, and not about their own. So I would just take this time for exploring, together, and alone. Don't forget about masturbation. I'll make sure that you're figuring out your body, what makes you feel good, and that you

guys are really communicating with each other. And things will progress naturally. Believe me, you're going to know when you want to have sex with them. You're just going to know when the time is right. So again, I know that you've stuck to the weight till monogamy rule. I'm not huge fan of rules, but I will say that I don't like when people get pressured into sex at all. I don't believe in it.

It's a horrible thing to do. And so it sounds like you're guys aren't doing that and you're gonna know when you're ready. So just keep exploring and I think the longer you wait the better in the sense of like don't put pressure on yourself you just have a lot of fun getting there, building it, learning your body, all that stuff. So have a good time and good luck with this.

And keep me posted, Audra, on the relationship. How it's going? Okay, next email, how do I make my pregnant wife feel sexy? Oh, what? What are you eating, a brownie? Those brownies are still there? I have an out of dinner. Are the chocolate ones?

I'm like, I'm sorry. Are the chocolate ones still there? They're all chocolate, they're brownies, fucks up. No, one, okay, but one had nuts in them and one had chocolate chips. Now, there's like mint and pecan. Pecan I hate. All right. Okay, Emily, I feel like this is a safe place for communication about things. I can't really talk with this talk about with my wife. Okay, back up. Emily, I feel this is a safe place for communication about

things. I can't really talk to with my wife about. So here it goes. Kay and I got married in September 2011. Earlier this year, we got pregnant. She's 27 weeks long and seems pretty unhappy with her pregnant body. How could I make her more comfortable? Is there anything I can do to help her feel better? Thanks for reading D.

So there's a whole subgenre of pregnant porn. Oh, that'll make him feel better. And he should set it up so that he gets caught masturbating to it by her. And she'll be like, oh, he's into it. But then she'd be like, well, why aren't you just sitting and looking at me? You think that pregnant woman's harder than I am? Well, pregnant women are, you don't want to mess around with their hormones and they're sometimes they don't irresistible.

That is great, though. That way, I've got to give you points for creativity. One of the main reasons why I've not knocked up the wife is I'm afraid of the hatred that she will have for me. Well, it's so funny, because two of my best friends are pregnant right now, funny, they don't even know each other live in LA and they're both like eight months. They're about to get birth, like I gave you the call right now.

And it's funny, and I've had lots of friends of kids that they just, yeah, you're like, terrestrial mouth of the husband. Like you say things like, I hate you and I don't know why you have this alien in my body. Like I love you, you know, it's like, because you know your hormones are raging, you're, you know, emotional, I feel like, Tourette with the mouth of the husband. You say things like, I hate you, and I don't know why you have this alien in my body. Like, I love you. It's like, because you know, your hormones are raging, your, you know, emotion, I feel like it's like your PMS

in for nine months of her. PMS, like, times a hundred for nine months. With some ladies, yeah. Right. So, first of all, you're an amazing husband, D. I love the treatment asking this question. It shows that you really like, you know, care about her. It's a tough issue because it's such a sensitive time for women,

but the best you can do is to reassure her and help her feel sexy. Let her know how much you love her and that you find her attractive. And I know I'm always talking about complimenting your partner on the show, but I believe this is a time where you can never do it too often, do it too much. Because, you know, you know, let her know you find it even sexier now, you're still sexually attracted

to her and then be specific. Like, say, God, your breasts look so great or your hair looks amazing, your eyes are sparkly. I mean, be really get creative with your compliments. I mean, because you mean that. I'm sure when you're looking at her, the things that you're thinking, you gotta say them. You also have to go further than words. I would amp up the physical affection. you're thinking, you gotta say them. You also have to go further than words.

I would amp up the physical affection, lots of handholding, cuddling, and I'm telling you, every woman is pregnant wants foot rubs, back rubs, especially foot rubs. Can you imagine carrying around like 50 extra pounds? How are you gonna take her to like, 20 bucks for an hour, full of it? Oh my God, go to a place that yeah.

And take her to a place. Just two little things that make her feel really good and feel loved and feel supported because When women are pregnant, they're thinking like you know, he doesn't understand You know, and you're thinking I'm going to work. I'm paying the bills maybe guys are thinking it and she's like oh my god I'm in pain. I can't breathe. I can't sleep. I don't I feel you know awful I feel ugly and so you know she's going through the ringer to birth your child, right? So you know the most you can do is just to, you know,

be attentive, even more so than you already are. Surprise or with little gifts, you know, bring home, well I was thinking about you know, women love gifts. Everyone loves gifts. Don't you like gifts? People say they don't like gifts. Gifts are right.

And it can just be, I'm not telling you to go out and spend some of these dollars, but like think about like something that you love. Just because gift, yeah, they can get it out of the blue. They like that. Yeah, it's fun. I like the little necklace, get her some accessories.

I would not buy her clothes right now. Or like, unless it's like a Moomo. Don't buy her Moomo. Or something sexy. They got sexy. How many months? How many months?

She's like eight months pregnant. Oh, so sex is out, right? Yeah. Cause it's a three-some, technically after the second trim. I mean, yeah, like, and also like you want it, right? Exactly. Cause it's a threesome technically after the second trimester. I mean, yeah, like, and also like you want it right? Exactly. Do things that you wouldn't normally, you know,

if you're, you might be thinking, oh, show me some Jesus dishwasher. I'm just a dishwasher. Like do things that like those acts of service that are just harder for now that you, she's probably not even telling you about, but she's like, I can't even stand paying the bills this month.

You know what, pay the bills this month. And also being a man, you want to fix the problems. You might want to say, well, babe, you feel fat, go to the gym. Or maybe they have lunch there, no, no, no. This is the time when you really have to listen. And this is for most, this goes for most men in general. A lot of times women just, they don't want you to fix it.

They want us to listen. They want you to listen. So sympathize with her, understand it's a hard time. She's emotional, she's exhausted. And, you know, they want you to listen. So sympathize with her, understand it's a hard time, she's emotional, she's exhausted. And, you know, she's probably feeling insecure. So just be supportive and understanding of her D. You know, really, these are all the things you could do the day, every day,

you should just think about what can I do today to make her life a little better? A little easier, yeah, pick up the slack at your end a little bit. I don't really know how I feel about these guys, they're like, okay, my wife's pregnant now, so she can't go to the gym, I'm not going to the gym anymore. She can't do this, so I'm not going to- This is a busy wait. I don't really know how I feel about these guys. They're like, okay, my wife's pregnant now. So she can't go to the gym. I'm not going to the gym anymore. She can't do this. So I'm not going to wait. I don't like that. Yeah. Or I'm putting on, I think it's a bit too much. It's a bit like, you know, I think it's just an excuse for guys are like bringing out, right?

Are you keeping your balls in her purse, you know, a little bit? Because I have a friend who loves to work out. I guess it's his favorite thing in the world. Seriously? And when she got, she's got pregnant three times and he has to stop working out for nine months because she gets pregnant and she doesn't work out. It's absurd I think it's too much. Do the wives say to their partners like hey the fans on the wife. Yeah, but some do and I It is too much. I can find it because you probably feel better if you work out my wife pregnant I'm gonna continue to smoke and drink just because she can't doesn't mean that but I will do more on the outside though I'll do more on the house for her. I mean, I think there's that happy meeting.

You just have to. And again, I hope this kind of sparked your mind about something. You have to. You should have asked some guys if your wife isn't pregnant. You should still do these things. It's a great point they bring up though. I mean, she's just care. Every step she takes is extra.

It's so hard. I have my friends all the time. It's just get a weighted vest and walk around. It's good exercise and it'll give her a little sympathy. Exactly. Give you a little sympathy. Oh, de I get a weight of vest. It's great. I put 25 pounds on it and walk around the neighborhood. Walk my dogs. Why? Because I lost 25 pounds. I don't want to remind myself what it feels like. When did you lose 25 pounds? Oh, thanks for noticing kids. No, I know. In the last year you have yeah. I'll ask you. I'm gonna last year. Here's my question for you though. Do you wear it?

Because it helps you lose weight too. It's also good for like losing weight. And then if I put it on a pound, I take a pound out of the vest and it keeps me cognizant of how much I lost so that I'm not going to take it for granted, you know what I mean? And it feels great when you take it off. That's really smart. It's loaded on a house, yeah.

Where did you get it? I felt so bad. I ordered it on Amazon and my poor male lady, I was in get it? I felt so bad. I ordered on Amazon and my poor Mail lady. I saw I was in the office and I saw it knows 40 pounds It goes up to 40 pounds of sandbags and I saw I stumbling across my front lawn. I ran out. I was like sorry Oh bad for wait a minute. That's really cool I mean, you can add a pound of these and stuff like I'm young You are young. I know you lost but I didn't know that was how. Did you wear that as you were losing weight?

No, I just did an extra incentive that I decided to take on. How did you lose weight? By counting calories. Really? Hard core. But you've always exercised. Were these brownies in your calorie counting?

No, I'm kind of letting go right now and it's ugly. I'm putting on some weight, so I'm taking weight out of the vest and stuff. You look great. You are very handsome actually. Thank you very much. I was like, a picture like, it's really, like, I'm taking weight out of the vest. You look great. You are very handsome actually. Thank you very much.

I was like, I picture like, it's really, I mean, obviously you are, but you look pretty good there too. I think she's fishing. You know, I'm not. You're watching for time. No one did tell me I was pretty David. That's cool. Really? No one?

No, that's your pretty today. I was thinking. If I didn't know better, you're pregnant. You're glowing. I'm so not pregnant. There's a glow about you. I had to get X raised the other day. And they're like, any chance you're pregnant, I'm like,

nope. Nope. Nope, not. Okay, so that's what we get time for. We're an amazing show. I was pretty good. Also, follow us on YouTube, Twitter. It's all at Sex with Emily, Facebook, Instagram, do that because we actually have really

good stuff going on there. And review us on iTunes. If you like the show, do that. And I love you all. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. You own a screen.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Okay everybody, we talk a lot about resolutions and new years coming up, and I've got a big one for you. Even me, take time to relax and de-stress in 2016.

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