Sex With Emily - Shameless Sex,Trends & Threesomes with April Lampert

Episode Date: January 23, 2019

On today’s show Emily is joined by host of the Shameless Sex podcast, April Lampert along with her partner to talk about the sex trend of 2019 from sex toys to potential threesomes. They discuss why being your authentic self is THE sexiest thing you can do, what it’s like working for a sex toy company and the perks that come with it -- no pun intended -- and how to have healthy communication with your partner and why it’s extremely important. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Good Vibes, Karezza, Fleshlight, Magic Wand, and SiriusXM.  Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit: sexwithemily.com   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by April Lambert from the Shameless Sex Podcast, along with her partner, and we cover a lot. From sex toys to communication to potential threesomes. Topics include, if 2018 was the year of analicking, what's 2019 gonna be about? Why being your authentic self is the sexiest thing you can do? Working for a sex toy company and the perks that come along with it. No pun intended. And a few tips on how to have healthy communication with your partner. All this and more, thanks for listening. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I'm off here, I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Evelyn is not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between for more information. Go to sexwithemely.com. Subscribe to our podcast, which is great.

We love when you subscribe. We love when you rate the podcast. It makes life so much easier for me. And for you, also files and also social media. We love and you rate the podcast. It makes life so much easier for me and for you Also files and all social media. We're doing a lot of giveaways It took a little break from the giveaways and then we're like, you know, we know we've got the toys You've got the desire We're gonna send them to you. So follow us at sex with Emily Instagram Facebook Twitter all the places

Also you guys if you haven't heard the news, I'm on Sirius XM Radio. Monday through Friday, 5-7 Pacific, 8-10 East on Channel Stars, 109. And if you guys don't have Sirius, no problem, you can go to sexvillamy.com slash SXM, get a free 30-day trial. And I gotta tell you, they might not be happy that I say this, but even if you can't hear it, if you're under in those hours and you want me to answer your question, you can call AAA9478277. I'm so excited for my guests to be here today. I have April Lampert. Hi Emily. Hi. Hi. And I have her partner, Bobby. Hello. Thank you for calling my partner and not boyfriend.

Yeah, that's kind of the way it goes now, right? Right. People think I'm a lesbian usually when I, my partner, Bobby, because Bobby could be a female or male name, but I'm like, gender neutral. Yeah, it's gender neutral. It is.

Exactly. And so I was like, your partner, yeah, it is kind of a thing here. In our sex industry, like my partner or not, my boyfriend, girlfriend, and I never love the term boyfriend, girlfriend anyway especially older. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly Like you can ask me to go steady. Yeah, okay, so I'm excited. So April. This is her second time on the show April and her partner Amy not lesbian partner, although I don't know But they're BFFs and actually they were on the podcast and it was such a hit

It was called the year of anal licking because after I'm sure you're gonna want to go look at it But it was one of our top podcasts of the year and so and now they have a podcast called shameless sex Yes, just you were you were the the mother of our idea to have a podcast after we had it We were like we love this Emily, So thank you for your love and support. In my pleasure, it is my pleasure to support you. We need more people talking about sex and I had so much fun being on it. So you guys can check out that episode.

We were at a sex toy trade show. It's so beautiful. And so we were all toyed up and talking about it. And you can find her at shameless sex podcast, on Instagram or at April Lampertert LAMPARTE. My first question. What do you think that 2019 is going to be the year of? Since 2017 was a year of analicking?

I think, oh, well, was sex? I'm hoping to kind of cross some barriers, maybe get a little bit more open in the bedroom with my partner over here because we've never explored across the threesome boundary and I know I threw that out there to you by accident the other day. Remember? Well, what if I would have been on board then you like, I'm dated it. I know. Would you want to have a threesome with me or are we too close? I have a say. Bye. Are you guys just negotiating with Almy or you? No. I mean, you would be down. Let's face it. Okay. Yeah. That's good. So maybe this will be the year of opening boundaries

within my partnership. I have to set certain rules though. I can't just go anywhere anytime. I have to preset, organize, get out of my head about it, and talk with him, negotiate. But yeah, maybe this is the year of breaking sexual boundaries. I think so. I gotta tell you, it's funny you say that

in your personal relationship perhaps, but also I feel like trends that I've seen over the last 14 years, that the last year people are a lot more open, a lot more interested in how do we open up our relationship? How do we do this alternative relationship thing and make it work? So I wanna talk about your relationship for a second, just so we can get some background before we delve right into it. So you guys have been together for...

So I recorded that podcast with you two years ago. I met him like right after that because I was single. That was like it was the year of anal licking and getting lit by the German dude and all sorts of dudes. I'll class the world. That's what it was. I'm trying to remember that. But that was an anal virgin. I finally lost my anal virginity to my partner here, Bobby. I had my analversary on January 14th, one year, analversary. Congratulations. I wish I had something for you. I might have some anales or something.

Oh, that'd be great. So you were saving it. I was for someone special. And how was it, the anal? At first, it was a little intense, but now I've taken the first time intense, but second, third, fourth time has been more pleasurable. It's really fun. It spices it up.

You just have to go slower than slow. Right. It has to be finger, not just the whole Monte. Right. Right. Start with the finger and lots of lube. You always talk about lube. Oh my god.

And it's so important because the anal cavity isn't self lubricating, not like the vaginal canal. So you have to use lube. And sometimes spit kind of doesn't work. Oh, don't use saliva, like pounds of lube. Like what bats of lube? It's like more lube than not enough lube. I want one of those dispensers like on my wall in my bedroom.

Like the hair, like a purell dispenser, but just lube. I think that's a gene, maybe you can invent that. I know, maybe I could. A sexy lube dispenser. A sexy Loub dispenser. A sexy Loub dispenser. That's actually great. Kay will take that note. So we met in the Caribbean.

I know a friend's wedding. And Amy, my best friend who I have the shameless sex podcast with, had actually hooked up with him a few times. And Bobby's like 14 years older than me. And she was like, you need to work through your daddy issues. You should hook up with Bobby. And I was like, I don't need your seconds girl.

And then I met him and I was like, well, maybe I'll do. And can I tell a story that is must be embarrassing? Go for it. So I had seen an actual video of his dick before I even met him because he sent Amy a dick video. And I was like, it was better than a dick. And it was actually a beautiful reaction. And I was like, did you do that often?

He was like, no, I swear, I never did. That was my first dick vid. That was my first dick vid. And I was like, wow, but it was really beautiful. You had a beautiful penis. And I was like, yeah. And after they hooked up, she got STD checked. She was clean.

I was like, it's a go. Oh, that is so nutritious though. She is your great friend. I know where she is. So here's my question. Did Amy show you the dick pic when they were dating? Or did she really pull it up? It was very casual.

Like she was on a break from her person. He had been single. So I had actually never met him. But she had talked about their hookups. Like they hooked up twice. And I was like, oh, that sounds like really a lot of fun. He drew her a bath with like essential oils and all sorts of things.

I am coming to Vizigas. I am 14 years older than her. You know, I have a job at. I'm trying to. No, it was definitely laid out for me, but I didn't want to go down that road because I had never really hooked up with any of my girlfriends like ex hookups. So for me, that was new because I was married. I was in a lot of monogamous long-term relationships. So it was like totally out of the box, weird thing.

And Santa Cruz is, I mean, you know, it's a small town. I mean, it's kind of one of those things that it's not, Bobby always says, like, they say, among the friends, like, it's not your girlfriend, it's your turn. Which I'm not a big fan of. What are you doing? We live in a fish. There's just not that many people.

So not your girlfriend, because everyone's kind of hulkin' out. Everybody's hot and takes care of themselves. And everybody's very, yeah. A lot of like non-monogamous relationship, open relationships, a lot of just very open humans that are pretty cool. A lot of good people. I need to come there. I'm trying to find the name of the guy I hooked up with.

I know. I'm just search cat. Because he has your hat. He has my hat. But now I just remembered I saved him under wanderlust because I met him at the wanderlust festival. Oh, so you found him? After the show, I'm going to find him. I just searched hat because he has your hat. He has my hat, but now I just remembered I saved him under wanderlust because I met him at the wanderlust festival. So you found him? So after the show I'm going to find him.

I just remembered. I'm double thinking here. You must really like that hat. No, I liked his color. There we go. Now we're getting rid of him. He knew how to use it. He did.

He did. So Santa Cruz, everything I know about sex and Santa Cruz right now is getting me very excited because it was my one. And then you guys seem Amazing, so you got together two years ago now almost June. Yeah, we met in June two years ago, and it's pretty cool I mean he's you know, he has three daughters. I know so let's talk about that. So you have three daughters. How old are they? My oldest is 24 My middle daughters and I are 20's 20, and then 14.

Oh my God, okay. And it impressed me so much how openly he was talking to sex with them, like about like, I don't know, just like how, I never, ever could talk to my mom about sex, I don't know if you ever did. And now my mom told me to smoke a joint. Yeah, that was literally the only sex advice she said. I'm like, mom, I can't have orgasms, she's like,

maybe you should get high, that was it. Listen up a little bit. But I didn't take her advice like 20 years later, I'm like, mom, I can't have orgasm. She's like, maybe you should get high. That was it. I'll just sit up a little bit. But I didn't take her advice like 20 years later. I'm like, she's fucking right. Yeah. So yeah, okay, so three daughters, and then you come in and then you were married divorced. Twice.

Twice. Okay. And is your exes or are they around? Yeah, totally co-parent. Everything's wonderful. We get along really well. Super healthy environment. All my daughters are amazing.

Are they obsessed with April? I'm sure it's complicated, I have to be stuck by. I mean, she's actually the first one that was dating or in a relationship with that they were okay with. They were drawn together. It took some time. And, you know, I mean, yeah, there's some kind of. Because you can't force on, you can't be like,

no, I wasn't like, like me, I wanted them to like me, but I didn't, I gave them space. Because I don't know. I mean, it's their dad. They're like, they are obsessed with their father. All three of them like dad, dad. So I knew, you know, there was a lot of female energy. I do much better with boys.

I grew up with a brother. I think you have a brother. I mean, I do, I just like boys I can jive with. And I said that when I first started dating him, I'm like, if you had three boys, I'd be the hit right now. Like, but you're the hit right now, they love it. They love it now.

They love it. April, I gotta say, April, you're such a likable person. You really are. The second I met you, your energy, just everything you put out in the world, it's just so positive and open. I feel like who wouldn't like April?

I can't as a girl. I mean, I never liked my dad's wives, but eventually I did. I'm just saying, that's tough. I was a product of step parents too, and they were all so mean. Yeah, well they were mean, but we're so much more evolved now.

Totally. We're saying our parents didn't talk about sex. So, you know, it's a different world. No. But now, so you're open, you're a great dad. And now you guys, so it's, can you live together? We do, we live together. And yeah, and Bobby, actually, it's funny because I'm in this,

you know, sex toy industry, like hot octopus. I am the VP of the hot octopus. I have to put questions for you about that. Totally. And he's in the cannabis industry. He has like the legal legalized cultivation of Santa Cruz, it's called Santa Cruz Roots. And so we have the sex and drugs,

and now we just need some rock and roll. We need some rock and roll. That's right, I'm saying it to the other day. Sex and yeah, that is, what do you think about marijuana for sex? Great, I think marijuana is great in anything. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely it helps you relax and Get out of your head. Yeah

Indica like Indica out and then Sativa you kind of get like a little bit like more Pumped up. It's a time in a place. Yeah, I think you got a monitor and stuff California is such a weed snubs, too. Do you ever like go out and someone offers you like a puff of something and I'm like wait is that Sativa? I do that. I do too, because I can't take it. I don't want to fall asleep right now. I don't know why it's all acting weird. The whole thing. I have to moderate it and not be like doing my show or a meeting or like just, you know,

take for some. It does. It does. It compliments sex for sure. Because he just has access to some of the best weed like in the country. I mean, it's amazing. He grows boutique like. What's it called? Can people go there and buy it or? No, we are, we have a cultivation license first. So we grow a high end luxury, you know, flower and then we have distribution also.

So we work directly with the spensaries in Northern and Southern California. It is really just, it's like the wild west right now. It is. It is. West Hollywood just got like all their stuff. You can actually, it's gonna like call the new Amsterdam.

We're in West Hollywood right now, we're recording. So you actually, it's gonna like call the new Amsterdam, we're in West Hollywood right now, we're recording, so you can actually have on-site consumption. That's what I heard. And did you know this, Jane, you're just gonna be all these cafes. So it's gonna be like the new Amsterdam, there's gonna be a huge, I mean, push.

Like I think that's, and sex and cannabis does, I think make a lot of sense. I tend to get in my head, which, I know you've talked to many of you shows, I've listened to your show a lot, getting in your head with sex is like the worst thing you can do. Like, when am I going to orgasm? Am I going to orgasm? And your partner picks up on that too, right?

Right, but even when I was just on your podcast, Shane, with sex, you were talking about a few things like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah're experts, the more you, it doesn't mean that it makes it mindfulness is not something you ever master.

Like even the Buddha is still like, was like he's not around anymore. Maybe he is. Maybe he might be in all of his way. But even like the experts, it's a practice. So every time, so how have you best learned to kind of deal with that during sex? Get out of your head.

I practice breathing into my yoni, this sounds so wooy, like hippie, woo-ee shit, but I just like close my eyes, don't open them, because then I'll just like look at his expression or what we're doing and breathe into like my yoni space. Like I'm like, you know, kind of that deep, not the quick breathing, but like the slow breath. Because sometimes breath just can like,

not trigger the flight or fight. It kind of triggers you to kind of ease into things. And that really helps. And if I try to communicate, if something doesn't feel good, you can, you know, use different techniques if you're not into actually speaking, you can use a tap method. But I'm totally in my head. And my partner, he feels that he's like, dude, like, what's happening is everything good. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let me just like check myself.

But we does kind of help. It can help for a lot of people. Yeah, absolutely. It can help. Yeah, you're right. just like check myself. But we does kind of help. At the time. It can help for a lot of people. Yeah, absolutely. It can help. Yeah, you're right. You guys find the right strain. And breath. We check all the time too, that breath.

And not the, when we do the shallow breath was most of us do the shallow breathing. That is the fight or flight. We're like, but when you learn to really do that deep breath, and we can really just help circulate the blood flow, can just help you, just automatically. Have you ever tried just mowning, like intensely mowning, like just getting into it without even,

even if you're not having an orgasm, just mowning it out, like where your neighbors are pissed. Yes, that's the best. That's why I don't have neighbor. Oh, that's a bit of a house now, because I'm so loud. Oh, I sure am. With a person with a daycare next door,

and I'm like, you know what, I give zero fucks. Yeah. These little kids are screaming, and you know, they're screaming, you're screaming, why can't the kid scream? I mean, I can't scream, I hear you. I'm down with that. I totally get what you're saying.

Do you do the same thing? Because you probably are a heady person like me. I'm assuming. I'm a heady I'm thinking. I'm always thinking. I'm always in my head. And to me, that's the biggest thing has been able to focus on the senses in the moment is the breath

And then I go back to like the candles that I know the scent and the sound what am I listening to and the touch Yeah, and then I'm like then you that takes me out of my head. So that's what helps me Okay, so when you guys got together in your 30s 40s, which is so different than being married early How did you guys come together with all the stuff that you know about sex at April? And then Bobby, I'm sure you seem, you couldn't evolve as a sexual being. Did you guys have anything to overcome? Could you talk about your two-year journey

of your sex life or things that we already know at the anniversary? It's funny because people, you know, the T-Six, that took some time, but we would be out together. And I would hear people come up to him and be like, wow, that's a lot of pressure, Bobby, to be with April.

Like I'm sure, like, well, you know, and he'd be like, when are you talking about, it's all good. And for me, I don't know, I think people automatically, and maybe you deal with this Emily, but thank you some kind of freak, where they're like, oh, she's just probably wild. I'm like, I'm really more vanilla than three-fourths of these people. And unfortunately, but fortunately, I just, like, she's just probably wild. I'm like, I'm really more vanilla than three force of these people.

And unfortunately, but fortunately, I just, like, that's me. I like sexual slowness and sensuality. And, you know, I occasionally, I like banging it out, like rabbit style, of course. But it was funny because our journey was really, I don't know, it was like, we have this mind-blowing sex initially. And then it kind of went into like,

kind of like getting to know each other's sex patterns and I get into my head a lot about not having sex at enough. Oh, okay. And he threw out, he's like, do you, you sex for love? Like, is that what you think sex is related to love? And I was like, maybe I do. So he'll check me and then I check him about things and it's always a journey. It never is boring. And I have come to realize that like, yes, communication is key.

And that's so I feel like that's what everybody says, but it is really trying to make space for each other, making the time to have sex because I'm busy with my career. He's busy with his career. And then he's got kids on top of it, which, you know, yeah, I'm the less thing you want to do is schedule sex. No, no, which, you know, yeah, I'm the less thing you want to do is schedule sex. No, no, no, but scheduling sex works. But sometimes I have to do all. I mean, it's like, it's really good if it's organic too.

Yeah, no, no, we want it all to be organic too, but there are a lot of people that are just like, it's never happening. So you get to choose. And I want to, like, the time that ripping your clothes off sex, you know, and it's happened, but it's been like over time. So it keeps getting better, but we keep evolving,

which I think is so key. The communication communication is a lubrication. Yeah, and then everyone always talks about the honeymoon phase of like banging it out for like the first three years. And I think that in our adult phases of life, that is possible, but also you have things to do. And sometimes it's not necessarily happening. So I really try to keep the passion alive by just trying

to be sexy. I do my little lingerie dance. That's what helps me. Tell me about lingerie dance. I have a whole stripper routine. Oh, we keep some ones in the drawer. Yeah, no, I'm serious. Like really?

So did you tell me about this? So I have a stripper song that I usually play. He won't know. I'm like, I'm going to go put on my pajamas. And he'll think it's like movie time, movie night. And then I'll go put on, I've got like a lingerie drawer of different options. And I have the like sluddiest, amazing stripper heels.

They're like platform with like six inch heels. And I put those things on and kind of like get my, yeah, teeter down the stairs. And then I play my little, it's a juicy J like bands of Maker dance. So. And then it's like, it's a juicy J like bands make her dance. And then it's got a great routine. It's great.

And then I like, Oh, and you know, Oh, yeah. And so I like push it down and like do like a lap dance and I like try to work my, It's different than a strip club because you know, you actually get it. You get, you get a lot to touch. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're, that is amazing. And then really how did you learn that? Did you take like a pole dancing class? I've been to a lot of strip clubs. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I took that is amazing. And it really how did you learn that? Did you take like a pole dancing class? I've been to a lot of strip clubs. Okay. Yeah, I took the whole Sheila Kelly. Were you a stripper? Were you a dancer?

No, but I always think that I am when I go. Because I'm like, I give him praise. I'm like, you look so good girl. Like, that's so nice. And I'm like, you know, a throw in dollar, but I just like to support. Like, you know, got to support. It's like girls girls.

Yeah, you look great. I'm like, you look beautiful. Your body's beautiful. Your dance, and I'll talk to them. I mean, we've been in Amsterdam together and he actually doesn't like lap dances, but I call him Santa Claus at the strip club because all the strippers go straight up to no matter where we are. Amsterdam to New York to San Francisco. Strippers go up to him like he's Santa.

And I'm always like, Santa Claus. Like two or three at a time. Literally. Yeah, he won't even be giving him the money he's sad thing maybe maybe he's got daddy energy does did you feel that when you walked in? yeah but daddy calming sexy it's all good

I love this relationship you're right I knew that I wanted to meet you guys but this is I'm so happy for you oh thank you this just seems like a really good connection sometimes just you know in life you never know what it's gonna happen I think there's something to be said for going through divorces and figuring you know, knowing who you are and what you want and then making it happen.

And you guys have done a lot of work on yourselves. And he's still doing it. I mean, I agree. You're never done. Yeah. And you want to think they can just rest on their laurels in a relationship. They're wrong. You need somebody to never stop talking and communicating about it.

That's what's gonna happen. You need someone and you know Emily too because you're in this like world of talking sex. It's hard to meet people that like support that in a full way. People will say they do and then they get really uncomfortable about, I don't know, putting yourself out there and knowing things and he's been super supportive and has never said like, why did you say that on the air? Or why did you talk about our anniversary in the way you did? And how dare you share the annual first read? That was our thing, babe, the annual versus. There was some things.

I get it. I do have three. Did you get her like an engraved butt plug? Not yet. No. Oh, yeah, some of his daughters will text. Well, text will text her. His daughter is like, Oh, I listened to April's podcast, and I learned some things about your dad that are pretty interesting.

So there's some of that where I'm like, well, maybe we could keep some of this. Like what? But I am relatively anonymous. Yeah, it's complicated, though. No, I get it. And when you ask me, it is kind of interesting to be dating. And there are so many assumptions that when

guys meet me, they're like a sex family, she must be a prostitute. She must be, yeah, which I have to say, I know a few things, about a few things. But I'm not probably what everyone would assume, and then you're wondering if you want to date just because they assume that you are that girl or just, so it's a whole nother host of things.

But then that shouldn't really matter, because if you meet someone, you knew that he wasn't just like April like you're you can tell those guys too. I'm not even gonna have a coffee with those guys because I know who they are right You can pick out the evolved ones. He told me though. He said like when I met him. He's like Yeah, you're totally in eight and I was like Doh, are you serious? I was like, it's pregnancy, do it. Are you serious? I was like, that is so rude. Five of the told her she's a 10-year-old. She wouldn't be sitting here. Yeah, don't write a new date.

She's like, I'm trying to be disrespectful. It was like all by design. Right, no, I can't. No, right, do you kind of do the negging? Will you a player? And are you? Ooh. Yeah, I mean, definitely.

I grew up very sexual as a, from a young age. I read your high school yearbook and it said like most likely to like I was the flirt. Yeah. Flirt and date like a supermodel like I don't know it was like Christie. Yeah I don't know I always say to other women. I was like I told her when I was when I was growing up I like younger women when I was older. Yeah. I have two divorces so I mean I yeah I'm that person. Yeah okay. I have an open mind to a lot of different things.

And yeah, so it's good to date the guy who's a former player like in your later years, because you're not who's exhausting. And you got three kids. Well, and then enter April, you know, and definitely, you know, when we met each other, we were not like, like, Brinkley's got nothing on him. Oh, Emily. So yeah, I mean, when we were met each other in the Caribbean, we weren't looking, she was totally fine. She was the year of analicking. I had a decent rotation going. I felt pretty good about myself and it just happened.

I mean, we definitely connected. And maybe it was the place we were in, being in the Caribbean. PS like your best friend and his girlfriend went down to me at the end. Yeah, so I got, we were actually like, You man, three cents? Oh, no, not really Story okay, all right, so how could you not tell that story so basically You know, we were there for a wedding so we were we had a group of 15 to 20 people that were all sharing this like amazing compound in the Caribbean on St. John

So you know, I'd met April and we were, it was like the first, actually, I think it was like the first night you were really there. Yeah, and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Um, but what, so what happened was we had another, but we're quick question just for some continuity. You already knew you'd already seen his dick video. I saw a dick. And Amy was already encouraging with this. Yes. Okay. We see each other around. There was definitely, you know, we knew who each other were. Um, and so we had another couple that was there with us. And each one of the little bungalows had like a shared another room that was connected to it.

And there were some close friends of my business partner actually and a lady that he's been, you know, on and off again for a while. And they had the room next door to us. And so my business partner knew that I thought she was attractive and it was all good. And so basically they had set the table and were in a situation with her where they were had already, you know, like she was basically naked on their bed. And then he took a time out and I was hanging out

with some other people and he's like, right now is the time, You need to come with me. And I was like, I didn't even question anything. I just went with him and then when I walked in the room, I think his partner was going down on the field. Yeah, and I was like, I don't like any of this what's happening. I'm doing it right. It was like, I just was like, I just was spirit and direct.

I kind of give her some point. And then, you know, it was like my partner, he tried because, you know, obviously his friend was not a satisfactory guy. And we all got a shot, you know, obviously, his friend was not a satisfactory guy. And we all got a shot, you know, into trying. And she was just this pillow princess was just kind of like, all right. Which is standard.

That's the thing about threesomes that I think might be challenging is because I like to be the, and I've been communicative with that and I would be communicative with the, yeah, and it would be the center of the attention. I would have to be like a trade-off situation like in the negotiation of the threesome. Exactly.

As a man though, I know it's best if you just sit back and let it happen and not try and coordinate or direct or you just kind of go with the energy of what you're doing. Yeah, I would love some threesome tips for the listeners because I think it's obviously the top question, top fantasy, and I feel like you both have experiences. I think that is true, that it's more about guys are like, how do I get this email all the time? How do I get my girlfriend ever? Three someone like that doesn't, you're not going to

initiate it. And you let her pick who the partner is. So she's comfortable with it. And you definitely don't try and force or direct or like let it be organic. Let them find their connection. And I mean, we're cavemen relatively so in most cases and you go with the flow and then you find your place within that. So do you have any good three-some tips though like anything like your best? I know negotiate boundaries. I always talk about you guys and negotiate things ahead of time but how would you, is there anything that gives more details to that main thing?

I would probably like from a person, I can speak from a personal perspective, I would go with someone that you don't really know well at all, that you're not gonna probably see again. So maybe if you have, I don't know, I know there's tons of apps now that you can find people. Yeah, like field. Yeah, so you could go to a different city and do that and then kind of have like a random hook up.

And then you could figure out from each experience what went well, like have, you know, a processing session after each time, but I don't know, I think that my goal in a three-some is always to definitely feel pleasure and to provide pleasure, but it's like fun and it spices things up. So maybe bust out some toys. Because toys are something different

that you, a lot of times, can use with partners, but then obviously you to clean them afterwards, especially if you're always cleaning them. Yes, but I think that would make it really fun too. And I don't know, don't drink so much where you're not gonna remember. That's a bummer to black out during a three-seater. Like I heard it was hot, I was there,

I missed the whole goddamn thing. But I do think that it's important, especially from a heteroprospective, if you're in a heteroreal relationship, a lot of times Especially since you say a lot of men are reaching out to you to see how they can get their girls to have three-cent girlfriends to have three-sums Yeah, have the the female part of the relationship kind of figure it out what what they want the person choose the person and Set some of the boundaries because the guys, you know, I'm gonna participate

Accordingly and yeah, have you been with two men in a threesome? No, no and set some of the boundaries, because the guys, you know, gonna participate accordingly. And- He's gonna be down. Yeah. Have you been with two men in a threesome? No. No. Would you want to?

I threw that out there to him when he was throwing up the threesome thing. I was like, well, would you hook up with me and you and another guy and he was like, no, absolutely not. It would depend on the guy. It would depend on the guy. Let me retract if he's- So would you like, I want to do DP like ones in the pink ones in the stink?

I mean, if it presented itself, I'm not going to say. Really? Which one would you choose? I mean, just depends. Would you, but how would you, you took her anal, Virgin, anal, anal, anal, anal, what is it called? The anal virginity. My anal virginity. The anal virginity.

Are you ready for another penetrative, penetrative source into her? You know, again, for me as a guy, he has, you're the only one right now. You know, again, for me as a guy, you're the only one right now. Right, I mean, for me as a guy, I wouldn't want some random, you know. No, I wouldn't want a buddy that I know and trust in that. I'm kind of a more of an alpha type of a person. So either I'm gonna feel comfortable with you

or you're not, and that may or may not set the tone for the rest of the session. If you're giving in the stink eye, I might be scared. Well, I mean, and so I think I'd rather do it with more of a friend, you know, so maybe that's the difference between you doing it with a, you have three sums with one of your friends before. Absolutely. Yeah. I've had three sums with several of my friends before.

Yeah, several dudes. Guy friends. Yeah. Okay, so then you would be down if it was the friends before. Yeah, oh, several dudes. Guy friends. Yeah. Okay, so then you would be down if it was the right guy. If it was the right guy. But those, I was not in a relationship with those women when I was doing it. So I changed the name.

So I changed the name. I see to me, my best threesomes were when nobody, we were none of us were attached. Yeah, for sure. It kind of just happened. And then I five, see you later. Exactly. That was the best thing.

And one thing though, if this part, if part of the negotiation, if someone's emailing you about threesomes and their partner is a hard-know, it might be time to either, if this part of the negotiation, if someone's emailing you about three sums and their partner is a hard-know, it might be time to either, if they're a hard-know and that's something that's very important to this listener that's writing in, like they want this and their partner continues to say no, no matter what they're trying to figure out together, it might be time to either find a new partner or open up the relationship in a different way. Yeah, but that is like if it's that important to you and your partner is not seeing you or meeting you in the middle, it might be time to think outside the box.

It's true, it is true because that could be a deal breaker. Like people are together and you really want to open up and your partner doesn't, you're not going to get your girlfriend or get your partner if they don't really feel it and they don't want to. They'll end up like we're, you know, and then you end up cheating and then it ends up out of integrity and then it just is like a big shit storm.

When you could have just used good communication. Right, exactly. Thank you. Like we said earlier, you can't win then you'd end up cheating and then it ends up out of integrity and then it just is like a big shit storm. When you could have just used good communication. Right, exactly. Thank you. Like we said earlier, you can't win if you don't play. You got to communicate. And it might be a hard conversation to have, you might be scared, but those types of situations that friction is like where growth comes from

and you might get something great out of it, maybe a new partner, maybe a great threesome, maybe something you didn't know about your partner, maybe they have trauma and they didn't want to talk about. Exactly. They had a bad experience with a threesome. Maybe something you didn't know about your partner. Maybe they have trauma and they didn't want to talk about it. Exactly. Exactly. They had a bad experience with a threesome. Right. You know, bad things in experience. You never know. You turn you off forever. Yeah. It's true. Have you ever had an orgy? Bobby. I'm learning about some things. Great. Do it. I mean, I've told you about that. I was, it was me, I was part of, it was me and for women. Oh, did you tell me?

I think so. I thought I did. You see, he's pretty sexually charged. I know four women, that's a lot. That's a lot of women. That was actually. Wow, that's a lot of things. But it was fun because they were all, you know, with each other too.

And I think again, they felt comfortable enough with me. And so it was, you know, and there was no. You were busy, you were like, every. I did, I had hands going, I had, you know, all of it. I was talking about it. Right, it was a lot, but were busy, you were like, every other thing. I didn't have hands going, I had, you know, all of it. Just thinking about it. Right, it was a lot, but it was, you know. Did you want to do it again? Right people, with the right people.

I definitely would, but again, no, I wasn't, you know, it was in a real, right, that's the best. I've seen more of an open relationship at that point. Okay, was your, were your marriages open? My marriages were definitely not open. Okay, got it. Now you guys are thinking of opening up

or just having a three, which is kind of could be. Maybe just have, I personally, and we haven't like sat down or really talked about it, but we've talked about creating the solid foundation first, which we're still working on because we're only about a year and a half in, and that's the part that we're nurturing now, and then going into a negotiated threesome, not opening up the mic.

But you just said her last podcast was nonamanagmi so yeah, it was a topic Topic that hang up hang up that came up Yeah, yeah, and we basically like I came at the In the house at the end of her and Amy's Podcast and kind of got to listen to a little bit of it Oh, would you learn? That she what that really she hadn't Considered it that much yet and it was kind of

New for her and that she is actually kind of Intertaining being open to it. Being open to the open. Amy and her partner are definitely trying to figure that out. I think they're trying. It's a conversation. I don't know. They've also been broken up back together.

They've had a lot of ups and downs. But I agree that you need to have what I believe works the best is when you have a really solid foundation with your partner and then you open up. It's not like you're in a security or we've been together 10 years it's boring. Let's have a threesome. No, you don't do It's not fair. We've been together for 10 years. It's boring. Let's have a threesome. No, you don't do it that way. You do it when you're on solid, solid ground.

Okay, let's move into toys for a minute. Because April, I've met April initially probably what, what, eight years ago? Well, I was a huge fan of you. I had a crushy. I did today this on when you were on shameless sex. And then I actually met you. And yeah, because you were at the trade shows and stuff

when we did some work when I was with fun factory with you. And then, and I always thought you were just like, a shiny bright star. I was like, I love you. And then I was on your show. I was like, I love her. We felt the same. We always have this connection.

It was funny because at the show, we did the podcast. And it was me and Amy and April in your room. Great wine. Who's your wine sponsor? Oh yeah, the large wine. The large wine. It was, you did, you loved it. You were like, I'm gonna have a second glass

and I never drink that. I never drink too glass, it was awesome. But I was like, it was fun because, yeah, we just competitive in a good way, like talk, talk, talk, and we saw Adam from out half to butt, hot octopus, and I saw Adam. Yeah, my boss. Your boss.

And he was like, I can't even imagine you in April in a room with Amy, like was there ever a moment of silence and like, lit a minute, not one, not one. But it flowed, it flowed. I loved that episode. It was fun. And we had to cut it a little short because we had to go to that cocktail party.

And then I saw you and I was like, ah, we should do it like another show because I'm going to be in town. And you're like, absolutely. I said, I would love to have you on the show again. And you know how to octopus products, right? Yeah, so we were very close to that app totally. So let's talk about it for a minute because I just love them. And why do you hear your perspective of selling this

to the guy, Berader? So it's a funniest story because there's this coquering called the Adam Plus that we make. And it's like a double-motor coquering. And Bobby, he's like good with toys, but he's not like super into them, but I really wanted to test out this coquering because. Job, it's, yeah.

And I also love vibrators. And oh my God, so it's kind of tricky to put on because you have to put your balls in and make sure to stick the rest of your shaft in and then twist it around. And Bobby, and you have to be totally flaccid for the double one. Yeah, what's that happen? I know, you have to be totally flaccid for the double one. Yeah, what's that happen?

I know, you have to pre-plan. I think about baseball, think about baseball. Yeah, and you're gonna walk around with this thing until you're ready to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, Bobby was like, at the same time, great toy. It's an amazing toy.

I was like, amazing, once you figure out how to put it on, but he didn't know, and I hadn't actually, I don't, you know, don't have a penis to try it myself. So I was going by the instructions, and I'm like, you have to stick your balls and he's like, you can't go. So we had this full, one test of liquid and it kind of got trapped.

And I was like, I'm uncomfortable. And then that definitely can ruin your mood. What we tried again. And then I've actually learned because I asked questions on how to put it on. But it's an amazing caulk ring. So if you have anybody out there that like wants a turbo caulk. It's not just like you also restricts the blood flow enough where you'll last a bit longer. And if you have like a vulva owner as we call them, it's a perfect grinding toy while you're

riding on a cock or a dildo or whatever you're riding on because it has like this nub. So that is one of my favorite products to use during play. Let's say the name of it again. It's called the Adam Plus. Okay, and you can get on our site. Or you can put them. Yeah, perfect, guys. So yeah, check it out.

And you'll, it's actually one of our best-selling products. All the toys that Hadoch was making are so impressive. Yeah, I know. They're such high quality. And like, I gave one to my guy friend, my ex, the Pulse. Yeah, the Pulse Duo or solo one of them, yeah. The Solo, and he was just like, at first he was like, really, I'm like, here you go,

because I'd never given him toys. Like just take it out, I'm happy to find, he was like, I didn't seem for a week. It's pretty fancy. I mean, it doesn't look like a pocket pussy, which I mean, it's like a luxury gorgeous masturbator. And I actually funny the story. I use the duo on Bobby, like if we're playing in Felatio,

it's like a little Felatio accessory because you can stick it on the cock, it helps it get harder faster. Exactly. And then you can take it off and go into your penis. It's like the fluffer. Yeah, it's a little fluffer.

It is. And we have a lot of fun with it because why not just add some little like toy or two? Well, what do you say to that? Because you're in my industry, what people are always like, well, how do I use a toy or why should I or I'm intimidated by them? And I'm like, well, it's not that you need it. You'd want it. It's an enhancement. It's like why

Why take a car? Why drive a car places when you can walk because you get there faster and it's a little bit more luxurious and You don't get burnt out your forearm isn't gonna get all cramped up from like rubbing, you know the vulgar or yeah isn't going to get all cramped up from like rubbing, you know, the vault or, yeah, purple tunnel from it. It is real. It happens to him sometimes. I'm always like, you should just get the toy out. You know, you don't want to cramp up. You got big forearms. Yeah. You got to save those. So I think that toys just add an extra element to anybody sex life. We talk about all the time, the importance of products with solo pleasure, but also just to add some enhancement and joy into a multi-partnership or one partner, two partners, three partners, four. Give it to me more.

Maybe four or five, six. We don't know where you guys are. You don't know what this year will bring. Thanks for supporting our sponsors. Help keep the show free because they're awesome and so are you. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. How do you guys feel at Valentine's Day? What's your feelings on it? Every day's Valentine's Day. Aww, yeah.

Oh, that's sweet. I, okay. No, I really, it's a busy time for us with, oh, yeah. It's the biggest time ever. And going out on Valentine's Day, the actual evening of is kind of lame. I'm sorry if anybody out there from offending them, it's just expensive, preset meals, and it's kind of crap and the service is weird.

So I try not to go out, but we try to make time for each other in another way. Maybe like light a fire. Oh, make it dinner. I don't think everybody should just think of Valentine's Day as like sex day. Yeah. Like make it, make a dinner. I don't think everybody should just think of Valentine's Day as like, sex day. Yeah. Like make it like, make do something different

that year this year. And have one one a month. Ask for something. Do something different on Valentine's Day. Don't go out waste your money, something special, Bart, jewelry, like, no, buy some like, great toys or an experience. Or right?

Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right? Or right. Or right. like letter or note even about how you feel about them. I'm really big on affirming, you know, through written word because I really putting it out of affirmation.

It's so much stronger, yes. My love language, right? That's what it is, yeah. Here's our words of affirmation, physical touch. Yep, yep. So are you on a yes. He's quality time and then physical touch. Oh, okay.

That's what my ex was in, which is, it's his good one, because when you're both physical touch, yeah. Because that's hard if you're someone who's not physical touch and you are physical touch, they's his good one, because when you're both physical touch, like, because that's hard if you're with someone who's not physical touch and you are physical touch, they're not gonna come, it's more challenging, if they go, now I need a touch by partner. Yeah, you have to think about it.

You have to think. I didn't get a lot of physical touch for my parents when I was young, they didn't like really do that with me, so it's important in my relationships. I always say that, like, I need more. Yeah, come close. I tell them right away. I can tell, like if I see someone's house,

like the first time that happens, there's no cuddling touching. I'm like, and I mean more. Come close to home right away. I can tell. If I see someone's house, the first time that happens, there's no cuddling touching. And I used to sit there and feel like alone. And now I'm like, right now, I'm like, nope, are you not a touchy feelie? I'm like, I could be at home alone right now. Okay, I don't really need you. Hug in a pillow.

So, you're come over here? Or I'm out. There's literally no reason for us to sleep together in this industry before we're not going to be touched. I'm like, the whole time, but like a lot. Like, how you need it. Emily, are you good at initiating sex with your partners when you're with them?

Is that something you wait for them to? Good question. Yeah, I think so. I think I initiate, yeah, I do. I don't think I'm great. I feel like I've been with partners who typically initiate more than I do, but when they've brought up,

they would like me to initiate, which has come up. I think my last relationship with it, that I would like, okay, then I'd put on my sexy thing, isn't it? I would initiate. I struggle with initiating sex. Yeah, it's not my natural. Like I want to feel desired.

And I want them to come after it. Because I'm always in, but I'm not like doing the sexy stripper dance as much as I can. You can't do it. You cannot do the sexy stripper dance all the time. Either it loses its novel to you. I have everything.

Even the sexy stripper dance you have more now. I will do it. I can only imagine. I'm trying to tell you. It's pretty good. Yeah, get your dollar bill ready. I'll tell you 20s. I'll take a course. Paypal. I love when he makes it rain to make it rain and There's a hundred there's a hundred ones in the drawer. Yeah, ready to go. And some people will ask to like why do you have like a They get it to be on the drawer like why are there a bunch of ones in there is like offer April's shipper dance and it's like a known thing Everyone to be as open as you guys are ready. I don't take off my clothes. I keep the sexy clothes at one time

I didn't keep the clothes on and the shoes on it I actually brought out tissues and I did it to Fiona Apple criminal and I brought out tissues So like everyone's gonna be crying right now And then I put that through the tissues that I I did a whole like, it was pretty fun. This is never hip-horing, this relationship, ever. Never, ever. I mean, obviously you guys are a lot of like, she's on 10 all the time.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm a pretty intense person myself. So everybody's like, no, you two are a lot. Some of our close friends are like, all right. But like, you know what I get, if you go up to like, time out with me, they're like, I'm this great. She's a lot of energy.

Are we ready for that right now? You know, and I can, I can, I can dial a pass. I feel like the talk of it though. I can't say anything. Like she is. That's where the cannabis comes in. Oh yeah. Depends on the cannabis. Depends on the strain. Yeah. It does. I think it is cannabis makes me more talking fast. Depends what kind it is. So we, we are excited. You asked about sex toys. I will say one other thing that, which is a bummer, because my favorite is that magic wand and you know because you talk about it It is actually kind of a dicting. I'm kind of addicted to it. So I'm taking a three month break

I mentioned this before because it's an impressive toy It is an impressive. He called it is nemesis. He's like that's my nemesis Because he's always like should I get out the baseball bat if like you know it was a long romp slash? I think if you use it or you overuse it you can desensitize yourself. It's not everything if I if I was not to much we do not want to get out. Yeah right so if it's your daily or it's a mental addiction. It's the magic one you might not get the sensation that you are looking for from a partner or another toy for that matter. Well that's what that's what that's what I talked about. It is a high part toy but it's like I guess what we talked about in

your show is that I learned to moderate it. I never had a problem with it. Unlike me. But I do like it, and then it just got to be, I don't remember where I moved to LA, if you ever just got, couldn't find it for a while, and then I just replaced it with like, the J.J. Mimi was the first one, and the Wevibe Touch.

I was like, oh, this actually works for me, and you just kind of mix it in and out. We're gonna have a new finger vibe coming out, Hadoctopus, it's so good. I. And you just kind of mix it in and out. Like, you can't. We're gonna have a new finger vibe coming out, Hadoctopus, it's so good. I'll get you. It looks like a piece of jewelry. It's called the ditto.

I'm stoked. And by the time I'm off my vibrator fast or break or strike, it will be out. So we're gonna use it. And you can just wear it on your finger. It's beautiful. And then it's like a hands-free extension of your finger. I'm gonna give you one.

You're gonna- I feel good to finger vibe. Because it's like everything you become a vibr of your finger. I'm gonna give you one. You're gonna love it. It's the best. It's like you did everything you become a vibrator. But all of them are kinda cheesy. They're all a little bit novelty. This one's all- It looks like jewelry or it's just- It looks like jewelry.

It'll be like $69. What is it come out of it? It's gonna be our price point. July, July 1st, we will have it a pre-launch. So I'll give you one to try as soon as it's ready. Yes, of course. You're gonna love it. I'm excited for that because it's gonna be packed

with power kind of like the the level that magic wand is but not baseball you know size. So it'll be like this like extension of your finger. Okay. I can't wait for that. And then Adam was showing me the one that goes around the balls. Oh, which I can't talk about that. The Adam. Oh, the um that's the jet. It goes on the friendly lemon that has two. Oh, it's two balls.inulum and that has two balls. It looks like two balls. They're like little sections to stick the ball ball.

It's a pin-pull machine ball. Yeah, kind of. But they're custom motors that ones like a treble, so it's like a high-pitched motor, the other ones a bass, so it's like a lower deep frequency motor. And then in tandem, when you turn it on through this wired remote, they kind of almost oscillate around the frenulum, so you don't have to stroke, you just crank it up, and then it can help you last longer.

Yeah, so there's a lot of different things, and that's called the jet. That'll be out in March, so people can start buying that and how to octopus.com. Your website, you'll have sex.com. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll have everything at sexily.com. Yeah, that's amazing. Tell me about how your sex life has evolved from the time you met to where it is now.

We know about the anal sex, but what about like, what really gets you there? Is it oral? Like is there something you had to show him? Because you were talking about earlier, like when you were in the threesome, you were like laying back. Is there something about the princess? My girlfriend says, my little princess. My little princess, to define that for our listeners.

It's actually my lesbian friend told me about this because there's like in the lesbian community there's pillow princesses. They're like known. So I realized that I was one because I was describing certain, when I was single certain situations, it's like, you're a pillow princess. I think I am. Damn it. So it's kind of when you kind of sit back and everything happens to you.

Like you're the one you don't really have to move around a lot. You're kind of enjoying and not taking, you're receiving. And maybe not giving as much. But not giving as much. I'm a giver too. You're a great giver. Yeah, I mean, so I get off. This is one thing that's come up. So both of us in our relationship are givers in a sense where I do love to receive,

but I love giving orgasms. I get turned on by knowing my partner has turned on by me and excited even when, especially if he comes and even if I'm not there yet. And he has the same thing where he gets excited when you're both hedging. Yeah, that's amazing. But it's perfect storm, it's a lot.

But sometimes it feels like we're waiting for each other. I'm like, come on. So we've been practicing this one day. It's destined that he will have an orgasm. And the next day, it will be me, so per session. It's not necessarily pre-negotiated. We kind of go in and I'm like, it's all for you. Because sometimes if you hold off, you might miss out

on the orgasm. Right, exactly. We'll go on your guy. You're going to get a orgasm. And I'm like I'm like god damn it was so close. It's like Oh, oh, it comes out. Yeah. So he's taught me how to female ejaculate though, which was I knew how to do it with my toy. So with the magic wand, I learned how to ejaculate with that like build up of like clenching the pelvic floor, which is really cool. But I'd never experienced it

in with like fingers or yeah or just like with penetration. So that's been so. Did you learn the people? Can you explain that process for people? Bobby, Bob is a fast. I don't know. I figured that out on my own. There was no, I didn't like look it up or research. It was something that naturally kind of came from and I mean you're just like anything else. G-spot simulation. You use, you have a curve. I have like a curve and a scoop that I use with my fingers and and I mean, you're just like anything else. I just, like, just, you use, you have a curve,

I have like a curve and a scoop that I use with my fingers. Curve and scoop and, you know, he has to keep, you have to keep it lubricated because it does build up, right? So you get like a build up of fluid and then it's like the release, like it's almost like a sponge, right? Like the releasing.

So, and I'm not like a gusher. I'm like a, yeah, it's like a very small amount of liquid that's sometimes it's more than, sometimes it's more, but how much fluid I drink. So a gusher. I'm like a very small amount of liquid. That's right. Sometimes it's more. But how much fluid I drink? So here's my question. So when you have, when you squirt, do you have an orgasm? So sometimes, so I feel like there's

a lot of clitoral in there as well. Again, it feels very pleasurable, but it's not like the same release as I get from a clitoral. I feel the same. Yeah. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it is. It's intense, and same release as I get from a clitorial. I feel the same. Yeah. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it is.

It's intense and it's really fun. And I'll feel like a lot of, I don't know, kind of relief like an orgasm, but it's not as, you know, after clitorial orgasm, you kind of like, so sensitive, you can't go back usually to like a lot of stimulation. If I have a squirting episode, I can still get a lot of clitoral play in and then have an orgasm. Which is pretty cool that our bodies can do that. I know our bodies are amazing.

You guys can't. No, you're pretty good. We're the best. We can have like 600, we have so many orgasms. I'm like, he's so annoying. But Magic Wand are probably at 24 with one day. Yeah, I did five and I thought that I told him to it. He's like, what'd you do today?

I was like, so I had one orgasm and then I wanted to see how many I could have and I had five, but maybe six, because I had a half a one and then I was like, what am I doing with my day? It's a job though, it's like, it's a job. It's a job now. Like it's a good, yeah, like it's true. Like it's content.

Yeah, it is content and I was, but 24. That's a lot. It was a lot of challenge. Still, but I think. 24. It was just, I don't know, I mean, it is content. And I was a 24. That's a lot. It was a lot of challenge. Still, but I think. 24. It was just, I don't know. I mean, it was a while ago. Not saying I could do it again.

It was time. So we were going to have to wear their candles, like a whole. It wasn't even a whole day. But I get going. I can get going. Like I won't leave. Like I, it was in San Francisco,

like six, seven years ago. And I was going to friends house. I was like, oh, I'm just going to knock one out of my magic one. And then I was like, oh, oh, I'm going to keep going. And it was like, I have these little tremors. It just keeps going, going, going, going. I was like to friends house, I was like, I'm just gonna knock one out of my magic wand. And then I was like, oh, oh, I'm gonna keep going. And it was like, I have these little tremors. It just keeps going, going, going, going, going. I was like, I think, can I read your text messages?

Emily, where are you? The party's almost over. You're doing the thing, body. But then my body was so turned on. And I was like, oh my god. And I remember trying to bring it in the car, like I was like, can't bring the magic wand because it was still plugged in the wall then.

And I think I'd rather meme the car. Because my body was so turned on. I don't know what happened. I actually tried that again. Then you probably showed up and I'm like, you're glowing. You have to have a facial and you're like, no, kind of. Exactly. 24 orgasms. But I always tell my good thing is my friends would know they'd be like, cool, that's cool.

That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. When people ask me what your secret is, they're always like, what's your secret? You look so young. You look so glowing and like, an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away. It's true, right?

It's so true. How do you masturbate almost every day? So, yes. And honestly, now that I'm not using, so I swore off porn. Remember we've got this conversation. Yes. And she's doing the work. I know you have to do the work.

You do have to do the work. Well, I just want to make an effort to see what my body does. So I swore off porn like a little while ago, because it was like I was traveling so much, I'd be be watching porn and it wasn't like a problem. I'm not addicted to it but it would just be an easy way for me to access. I'm about your porn. Why are you hiding that? You called me out. You're like, why are you hiding the porn? Why won't you watch it

with me? I was like, oh no, I can't. This is very weird private thing that I have to do. That's some childhood stuff, right? It is. It's all childhood stuff. It's all childhood stuff. So now without porn, then I'm swearing off the vibrators. So now, what am I doing? I guess I could go in and try to just get off with my hand,

but then I'm like, I'd rather just hook up with my partner. Just because we'll learn it. Yeah, what happened yesterday? We had sex twice yesterday. We did, we had like, yeah, it was really fun. He, one was like a making love and then we just like, last night was pretty aggressive. Last night was aggressive and fun.

He's like, I love being dominated. And so, and he loves dominating. So, because I'm more submissive in the bedroom, like I will be the dominator if I need to, but he definitely likes to dominate. And so he was doing like some choking, some slight choking, some hand. It was hot. It was hot.

It was hot. Yeah, it's consensual. I was using this of course. I wasn't being a pillow princess as much as I was working. Yeah, you were. So we had a lot of fun and yeah, we were like, just connected. So it's fun to change your own vacation to an application, but you're in a hotel room, right?

We're in a hotel room and. That hotel's fun. It's got kind of a little gypsy carnival vibe. Oh right. I just say that and hook up with you guys, but I know. I know hotel. Not today. No, not today. The bummer. I know. I know. Me too. But wait, so the thing about the dumb, so how is it without the porn and the toys?

Do you feel a difference? The porn was actually kind of nice to get off of because it did make me like access my spank bank and what I've been doing, mindfully thinking about my partner in my masturbation spank bank just so I can, I feel like making the connection between him and like the things that really turn me on that happen while masturbating. I bring that into this in the bedroom and I feel like that also helps me orgasm not faster but has like you know it helps me orgasm. Not faster, but it helps you orgasm.

Exactly. So you think when you guys are having sex, when you have the orgasm, you're thinking about ham. Isn't it funny our minds, the role of fantasy? I often talk about it a lot of times on the show about how having a healthy robust fantasy life is part of having a healthy sex life. And I think it's so confusing to people, they feel guilt.

Yeah, the game, the game around fantasy. But like it really is for women, brain lards, sex talking about the incest porn. You know, I didn't want to bring it up. Yeah, no, you, because I cut it. It's fine. It's that brother, brother. Well, she's into incest porn. It was, it's mostly like, it's weird stepdad.

What that daughter porn, which is, it's not like,'s weird step dad daughter porn, which is it's not like that I said that I didn't think about that no Did you tell her about the taxi cab the English taxi? Yeah, I was I was having a hard time. He was not he was like what and I was like it's all about like this weird Gross, he's like a overweight Killed her man. That's not, and it doesn't even have a face. Because he's twisted like that. Yeah, it's amazing with a mind-king.

I know he's like, do you want me to throw on a British accent? As accent, well, maybe. I was like, I guess you could, but you don't do a very good one. You guys are scratching the service here. Yeah, we're in half in. There's so much more. There is a lot. I do, where are you guys?

I knew it. I love you guys. It's a couple. It's amazing. Really, I love this. I think that people could learn a lot from this because it's like love you guys. It's a couple. It's amazing really I love this. I think that people could learn a lot from this because it's like you never, you know, we're in the industry, we're in podcasts, but you're always still working on the next level.

So I feel like you might have where you're at in your life. Yeah, it would get boring. Even if you were every single night like chokin' or an heaven the rough sex, it would get boring in them. Yeah. So like if you, well, okay, well I wasn't there.

It sounds hot. It was too much. I think the whole, the, just, okay, well, I wasn't there. It sounds hot. It was hot. It was hot. I think the whole, the, the, the, and from being in relationships and, and this is probably the healthiest relationship I've ever had sexually and just with the level of like information we give and receive and put out for each other. And I think like, the key is just to continue to, like,

make sure you set aside time for each other to just process instead of going home after work when the kids are in bed or whatever they're doing, or you're studying, or depending on what your listeners are into, whatever they're doing, but take time with your partner and process and figure out what the needs are. If your needs are being met, there needs to be some shifts and in the bedroom or without,

but don't have those conversations in the bedroom, especially if they're sexually charged or whatever you're talking about. You guys have time to process. And this is so great because, because yeah, people just don't, a lot of people don't even have that first talk, but I always say it gets easier.

The more you talk about it, then you're gonna have, you're gonna be craving those talks because you realize that's a sustenance. That's what's fuel-in relationship. And relationships aren't gonna be easy. They're not, they're not easy. They're not easy.

They're not easy. They're not easy. They're not easy. They're not easy relationships. I I'm like it's gonna end badly you have to have those hard conversations and of course Well now monogamy. I mean that's like you had already said it's it's kind of commonplace I mean we are all you know monogamy is a thing that was put on to us by society correct Yeah, marriage and this Agriculture and when it comes down to communication you can still have that partner for life and figure that out yet still, you know, enhance the situation through communication

and trust and feeling secure within your relationship, right? Absolutely. And it's interesting, I was thinking about this because we've been talking about timing on this show. Like, it was, how much do you think that timing matters? Because I feel like you guys both, it was all, it was, it was all, it was all, it was all, it was all, it was all. Like, baby, you met 15 years ago, it wouldn't work, but you've both it was all everything that you've been doing

15 years ago wouldn't work but you've both been in marriages divorce worked it through and now you guys have these skills she thought I would she looked at me thought it was a total meet-head you know yeah yeah I also got to know I'm a little I look like a meet-head but I'm a little deeper than yeah yeah yeah yeah you got to I had our astrological compatibility charts read to before I committed to like actually

remember he I was like I need to know the time airborne and the area you were born and I like had this astrologer Figure out if we're compatible because I was like I'm getting too old. Yeah, she was like She's like it's a green light, you know You might have some rocky roads, but a lot to work out. What you sign? I'm a cancer Scorpio rising tourist moon. He's double Libro the capricorn moon I got it. Okay. So it just works. It works, but I, my astrologer said if you would have met him five years ago,

five months ago, it wouldn't have been the same thing. You both were aligned right then. So whatever, that might be woo-ee, and if you're not into astrology, timing is everything. Because if he had three young girls, I would have been like, no, I don't. I think I don't.

I think I don't. It's a perfect time though. You guys, I love this, I love this whole union. I've got, I've got to ask no, I don't. I don't. Peace out. Right, it's a perfect time though. You guys, I love this. I love this whole union. I've got to ask you guys our five quicky questions. You're each going to go back and forth and answer, OK? OK.

Bobby, what's your biggest turn on? When she's turned on. Oh, that's nice. Well, your biggest turn on April. When I get told that I have the best pussy ever. Or I'm gonna fill her pussy up with cotton. I do like that. She does like that.

Biggest turn off, April. When sex feels like a chore, you have to do it. Right, okay. Biggest turn off. Yeah, same thing. Forced, like pressure to have sex like schedule sex. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not for everybody. Yeah. Clearly not for you guys. If you were to celebrity hall pass, who would it be? Drake. Fucking love him. Jewish, man of color,

Canadian. I already declared that because I was in Miami. He was there. I was like, Bobby, Drake's in Miami. I'm just saying I'm going out to a club in Miami. He was there, I was like, Bobby, they said, Miami, I'm just saying, I'm going out to a club tonight. If he's there, Bobby's like, okay, all right. I give her a pass for drink. I'd probably get arrested by security before. I can even get close. We have a cycle.

Yeah, what about you? Margot Robbie. Oh yeah. Except when she was in that movie, Queen Elizabeth. You know what, she was still having. Yeah, oh wow, really? I mean, hey, even with all the things, the small box cards.

I'm saying. Okay, make that. You know what? Just do a doggy style then. So, okay. Oh wow really? Even with all the things, the small box cards. Okay. Make that. You know what? Just do a doggie style then. Okay. Song at the top of your sex playlist. Oh, the juicy J song.

It's so good. Bands in the Gredants. It's so hot. This is your also your stripper dance. It's my stripper dance and also Frank Ocean lost. It's okay. I'm not thinking about that. Okay, because I'm always trying to like it suggests things think of things like that whole album orange Yeah, like put that on you sex. It's orange Frank Ocean. Okay. He's a it's amazing. You'll love it. All right number one sex tip

Bobby Number one text that's First where you should start off always I say definitely the slower than slow But a lot of people say that I know you talk about that I also say push outside of your typical boundary just a little bit try some new things like if you Aren't super into giving a blowjob or super into kind of lingus just try for a minute to check it out You know it there's so many different additions that you can make it more pleasurable.

You can add the flavored lube. You can, yeah, you can do. So true, wait, the bottle. It'll be in over six. 69s, oh thank you. But no, it's so true that people, like we often get those questions too. Like I've never wanted to go down to my partner.

I don't like blow jobs or she won't do it. I was like, what does this try? Like try it and get out of your head. Get out of your head and just your head giving a partner pleasure is getting into the head get yeah get on it yeah they get into that head okay guys you're awesome thank you so much for being here do we get a role reversal and ask you five questions oh no I wish she's got like time a bunch of guys I gotta go to live radio show shortly okay you guys check out, check out SheaMal's Sex Podcast. It's awesome. I was just on a recent episode and they're doing great work.

I love it. I love you both of you. And Bobby's Santa Cruz Roots and Santa Cruz Roots. Yeah, dot com. All right, guys, thanks for being here. It's so fun. Thank you. All right, everyone.

Thanks so much for listening to the show. Thank you to Ken, Samantha, Julia, intern Michelle, producer, Jamie Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemlite.com.