Sex With Emily - She Only Wants to Be Serviced in Bed (Is That Fair?)

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!: https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Dr. Emily and producer Erica judge whether you're the asshole when sex drives don't match, and the verdicts might surprise you. A woman daydreams about affairs while her older husband's libido fades—but is desire actually the problem? A man's wife refuses both sex and therapy because he doesn't earn enough—discover why money complaints are never really about money. Someone only wants to receive pleasure, never give it—where's the line between preference and selfishness? Then the hardest question: what do you do when you've tried everything for a decade and still have sex twice a year with someone who recoils at your touch but swears you're their person? Dr. Emily delivers tough love about the "everything but sex" trap, why refusing therapy while refusing intimacy is relationship sabotage, and the brutal truth about waiting for people to change. She breaks down the progression from frustration to resentment to contempt, and issues a wake-up call about the information you're ignoring right now in your own relationship. If you're walking on eggshells, wondering if your needs are unreasonable, or waiting for things to magically improve, this tells you what you need to hear. Timestamps:

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feel more alive in your body. Do something now. Don't wait 22 years. Don't wait another 10 years. People don't change unless they want to change. So a lot of times we sit in a relationship thinking, oh, maybe they're going to come around. Maybe they're going to. No, they don't come around. People just become more set in their ways the older they get. This could be a wake-up call many. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.

Today, producer Erica and I are tackling your submissions about mismatched libido's sexless marriages and the question nobody wants to ask, when does wanting sex make you selfish? We're hearing from a woman whose sex life is dwindling as her older husband ages, someone who's wife withholds sex because he doesn't make enough money and refuses all therapy, a self-described pillow princess who only wants to receive, and a man in a 10-year dead bedroom who's tried everything and still only has sex twice a year. These scenarios are tough, but they are also incredibly common. We're going to help you figure out if you're approaching asshole territory or if your needs are completely valid and it's time to take action.

I'm delivering some tough love today, so buckle up. All right, let's get into the episode. Have fun, Erica, that we are back, that our listeners went to the form on the website and they sent us some amazing scenarios here. So exciting. I love this segment. I'm obsessed with this segment. It's so much fun. It is so much fun, you guys, because it is hard for me to tell you that you're an asshole

because I think that we're all learning together. But some of these, you know. Some people need to be told. You do need to be told. I think it's a great way to learn, okay? This is from Marie. She's 46. Am I the asshole for thinking?

he should want sex as much as me. Hi, Dr. Emily, my husband is 12 years older than me. He's 58. I love this man so much, but his sex drive is dwindling and has always been an issue due to tiredness or stress and overworking. Am I the asshole for thinking he should want as much sex as me? We only have sex one, maybe two times a week if I'm lucky. Sometimes we go two weeks.

It's so awful. I'm in my prime, but this has been an issue for our entire marriage. He tries, but now that he's nearing 60, I'm actually. angry my sex life may be coming to an end of the next decade. I do not believe in affairs or other partners, but man, I've day dreamed about it, which makes me wonder if I'm an asshole. But I seriously love this man with all my heart. It's really devastating to me. Let's get into this. So first, that's got to be frustrating. Let's put it out there. Whenever we want sex, more than our partner, it's not fun. And it can feel really, really frustrating. It can lead to resentment and anger. And it sounds like

Marie's getting ahead of it. She's like, I see where this is going, the decade ahead of me, if we're going to continue to have sex so sporadically, what am I going to do? But am I even an asshole for thinking like that I want more sex? Let me just say this. You're not an asshole. And I think specifically she wants to have she's an asshole for thinking about wanting to have sex with other partners. Many people have that thought. That's why there's such a rise in non-monogamy. There's a huge rise in ethical non-modogamy, but let's walk before we run here because she says, I don't believe in affairs or other partners. And I just want to you to put a pin in that for a minute. Mismatch sex rights are very common. This is where age differences come into play as we get older.

If you've been with someone for a long time, but then you start approaching between 40, 50, 60, 70, we see a drop in hormones, our body start to change, our desire starts to change. And I hear often from people who say it was great for a long time, but there was a big jump between 50 and 60, 60 and 70. This is something to think about right now if you are falling in love with someone and there's an age difference. Start to talk about now. Start to troubleshoot and say, what are we going to do when this happens to us? But let's get back to Marie here for a moment. So he's never had his high sex drive. And so it sounds like this has been building over time. And it's important now to have a real talk with about what could we do? How can we problem solve this? Because I'm also hearing that one, maybe two

times a week isn't even enough for you. Sounds like she really wants it even more than that. Let's say he decides and he says, okay, I am set. Let's do it twice a week. Would you be okay with that? Because if you are, I think we could work around this. I think you can talk to them and let him know, let's start to schedule sex. Let's figure out, you get very specific how we can troubleshoot here. So we have a plan in place to make sure that two times a week happens. And before you tell me scheduling sex isn't sexy, we have so much evidence from couples who thought the same thing, but once they realize it, oh, I need to prioritize our sex life as much as I prioritize my workouts, eating healthy, spending time with the kids, our aging parents. Your sex is no

different that we have to make time for it. The thing that's less sexy than scheduling sex is not having sex at all. You might as well put it on the calendar and guarantee it. You guarantee it. You're getting your needs met. And then you both get to say, like, we have this commitment. And then let's think about ways we could keep it hot and interesting. And then that's on you, Marie. You listen to the show. You know, I gave a lot of tips for spicing it up. Beyond scheduling sex, what positions can you try? What toys can you try? Do you need to get a new lubricant, new locations? Are you guys taking trips together? I know for sure that vacation sex can be just the thing that some couples need to keep it hot, whether it's going away for a night even, just getting out of your bedroom, getting out of your routine.

But it's really important to just also have a real conversation with him and say, babe, the 12 years age differences is now becoming a factor. And I want to make sure that we're great lovers to each other and ask him for ideas. You don't have to come in with a plan. Remember, these conversations about your sex life are ongoing. And if you haven't quite talked about it to this depth, let them know in a really loving way that your sex life is important to you. You're trying to figure out ways that you can keep this going and you're open to his suggestions. Because remember this, that sex begets sex. So when you're the partner that doesn't want sex, it can feel like another request from your partner and it can be really frustrating, but I want you to remind your partner

maybe you can listen together that the more you guys can figure out, A, the right time of day to have sex, the right time of week to have sex and how you're going to have sex. And B, that it's just really important to keep the energy alive in your relationship. It might be easier for him to kind of make it happen and to work together with you to make sure that you keep it out of interesting. Now, if he's never had a high sex drive either, that's something important to dress as well, but also approaching 60 could be a great time for him to get his hormones checked. to think about if there's any sort of hormone replacement therapy that could help. It's helped so many people get their sex drive to where they want it to be.

And I think it's really important to have these conversations, especially as you both are getting older because it sounds like you're already getting angry. Emily, you were just telling me about how resentments are one of the things that can really kill a relationship. They are. Resentments become really toxic. Resentment is just a stop away from contempt. And when couples move into contempt, like you, everything they do,

annoying you, you feel awful already. Like that word awful has a tinge of anger to it. So watch it before you get to resentment. That is a town that's very hard to leave. So keep us posted, Marie. So who's the asshole? I don't think there's any assholes here. No assholes. By the way, you guys. You guys had anal play? Anal play is a really fun way to spice it up. And if he's near in 60, have you play with his prostate yet? You're never too old. You're never too old. too old. Also, just to go back to the, would he be open to, you know, you having sex with someone else, if you get to the point where that is something that you're into and you think, you know, I love this person. He's my partner. I'm with him. If you're with someone who doesn't want to

clean the house, you hire a housekeeper. So you can't just say, I don't want to have sex. And now if it's stretching into two weeks, that two weeks can stretch it in a three weeks. So let's try to come out with a plan right now. But also, again, if you need to find someone else have sex with, maybe that could be in your future. As long as you both are on the same page, it's done with respect. I don't think you need to slip into a fair territory. No, not all. We're not saying a fair territory.

I don't know people are like, oh, you're pushing this non-monogamous agenda. I'm just bringing it up more because you're all bringing it up more. I'm not saying Marias. But I'm hearing from a lot of you. You're asking questions about it. And the world is just going that way. If you look around, there's just more people talking about their non-monogamous lifestyle and then it works.

Not for everybody. But I'm just here to give you information. and let you know that there's options. Thanks for you. Keep us posted. This is from an anonymous male. He's 39 in the United States. Anonymous wants to know too. Is he the asshole for wanting more sex than his partner?

But this scenario is different, really different. Hi, Dr. Emily. I've been married for over six years and have two kids together. I moved to the States when I was little, so my viewpoints on sex are 50-50 between Western and Asian cultures. While my wife's perspective on sex is solely on traditional Asian culture, in which it's primarily for procreating. On top of that, she's been cold and distant for me because I haven't generated the results she's looking for, such as making more money. I have some ADHD

symptoms, which takes me longer to think and execute on things, which is a huge turnoff for her because she can multitask without any issues. It's safe to say that I also have a higher sex drive and don't want to seek it outside the marriage, and at the same time, I don't want to stay celibate for the rest of my life either. On top of that, she has adamantly denied us going to couples therapy or going to therapy for myself. What are some ways I can get her to warm up to having sex again? Or does it sound like she's officially checked out? We'd love to hear your perspective on this. All right. Cultural norms is really, really important. We can't just set that aside because I'm also sure these cultural norms probably impact other areas of the relationship. And right now we're talking about sex.

But these cultural norms show up in the way they handle money, the way they parent kids, the way they deal with their aging parents, their attitudes towards work. So I think that we just can't say enough about couples kind of learning to work through these and talk about cultural norms as they come up. So if she grew up in a strict culture, that is a tough nut to crack, especially if she says, I'm not going to have sex and I won't go to therapy. It's a one-two punch. You got to understand that you can't just say I'm not having sex or go to therapy. First off, when you tell your partner you're not going to go to therapy and you're not going to invest in your relationship, it is really the one thing that I can tell you all that you need somebody

to help you work through these challenges. And to say you won't go to therapy is like saying you won't go to a dentist when you have a toothache. It's literally the one solution I have for couples who can't have the conversation on their own. They need a mediator. Therapy's like a tune up for your relationship. I don't know where you go from here. She's not having sex and not therapy. So I think that's a little bit asshole-ish, but only because she doesn't know any better and she's probably not talking to her friends about it.

See, I have a hard time calling your own assholes. There's probably a lot of people who engage in this asshole behavior in terms of not putting in the work into a relationship. But it's interesting because I feel like we always hear people writing in who just aren't able to hear or be heard by their partners. And it's like, why would that change if you don't have a third-party perspective? But we know that there's such a stigma around therapy. But y'all, it's more accessible than ever.

Now is the time. Yeah, you guys can make an Zoom appointment. It could be once a week for an hour on Wednesday afternoons from three to four. And you sit there on Zoom in front of a therapist that can help you guys have conversations. They're going to give you homework and they're going to help you listen to each other. That's really what couples therapy is. They help you listen and they help you hear each other. If you want to try it again, I would say to her,

using all the communication skills that we often talk about, just saying, I need you to understand wife that it's really hard for me to feel connected to you and to stay in this relationship when the cornerstones of a really solid relationship is communication and sex. So you can let her know that you'd love to know her solutions. What does she think you guys can do? What does she want? What makes her feel loved and connected in the relationship? I think letting her know your feelings and how you're having a hard time connecting and that it's imperative for you guys to figure out how to repair and how to continue to build. Now, also, she's saying that it's the money thing. I was just going to say, let's get into that. Let's get into the money thing because that's also

real, but also unfair that she's saying you're not making enough money and she's probably saying you're not making enough money and therefore I'm not having sex with you and I'm not going to therapy. Believe me, if he won the lottery tomorrow, I have a sense that she'd find something else. There's always something else. It is never about the facts. What did Esther Perel say? It's about the context, not the facts. This is not about the money.

It could be the money. It could be something else. I'm not downplaying money in a relationship because money is a huge factor, but it's not the only thing going on. And I feel like she's probably beating you up here saying you don't make money and you don't execute on things because you've ADHD and picking at you and making you feel bad. And it's probably not helping your self-esteem either.

that's really toxic too after a while when your partner's like, you're not making money, you're not getting stuff done and I'm not going to have sex with you. Listen, Anonymous, if she won't go to therapy with you, I highly recommend that you go to therapy for yourself because that's the thing I have to tell all of you, if your partner won't go, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't go. And in fact, getting into your own kind of therapy is going to help you learn to communicate better with your partner as well. And it certainly will help you in your own life. find a therapist the great thing it is accessible a lot of insurance companies will cover therapy now so please find some help so you can continue to work on your own self-confidence in this relationship and

figure out ways that you can communicate with your partner and if you're not able to move the needle here then you're going to have to figure out what does feel right with you so you're with a partner who is supportive and has the same values and goals that you do going back to the money thing because I feel like we don't talk about it enough when does money matter in a relationship, if ever. So here's the thing about money in relationships. And to be honest, it's not that different than talking about sex. We don't talk about sex and we don't talk about money.

We need to talk about money in a really real, transparent way, what we want to make, what our budget is, how much we spend. And so I think having a conversation about your wife is like, what are her expectations? What would be enough money? Do you feel that if you continue to make money that it will never be enough? Is there stuff that you are doing that you could maybe be making more? Could she be making more money? Like, what are the expectations here?

You have to get into the nitty gritty. Like, what is really happening here? Because if you're content with your job and your money that you're making and you don't have plans to actually be making more, which is common. There's some people who are like, I'm okay. This is a good amount for me. It's a good amount for our family and I don't want to make more. Does she have different goals or money than you do?

Because that's also another thing that you guys need to talk about and be realistic. Which could also be a cultural difference too. If she grew up with the idea that the man should be making more money, the man should be making X amount of money per year. That's definitely a conversation to have in the early stages of relationships. Oh, God. Well, let's just talk about the early stage of relationships. You have to be transparent about your debt.

You have to talk if someone's a saver and someone's a spender. I mean, that's almost as important as like different sexual preferences. Someone who saves money is constantly looking at every bottom line and someone who's a spender that can really irk the saver. And then the one who spends all the time is looking at the saver thinking that they're cheap. And these things really are important to figure out, well, How are we going to manage just like, you know, our sex lives? How are we going to manage someone who is a high libido and a lower libido?

If someone is a saver and someone is a spender, then you look at your money, you decide where are we going to splurge and where are we going to save? It's the same exact thing. For example, if this was an issue in my relationship, I would say right now, I love to splurge on vacations. I want to splurge on experiences. But I don't need to spend as much on clothes, let's say. I don't need to spend as much on furniture. I can get furniture secondhand. I can get clothes secondhand.

but I want to save all of our money for trips or for meals. Like, that's a way a couple can deal with values around money. If someone isn't making enough, but maybe Anonymous, do you feel personally that you'd like to be making more money? Because if so, it sounds like that maybe the ADHD could be holding you back, for example. If your wife is somebody who just gets stuff done and she's a multitasker, what if you asked her to help you? What if you said, we're in this together?

I'd also like more money. But having ADHD, could you help me set some goals? reach out to new employers, maybe help you figure out how to make more money. Just like sex and relationships, we often put it all on one partner to solve it, to make all the money, to be the one that researches sex. But this is why we're in relationship. We're in relationships to have a partnership and to collaborate. Which is, you know, one of my five pillars of sexual intelligence is how do couples collaborate? That's a really important factor. So how you guys deal with money is just as important as your sex life. Thank you, Anonymous. Appreciate your question.

All right, assholes. Don't go any. because we'll be right back after a quick break. This is from Lauren. She's 37. Am I the asshole for being a pillow princess in bed? Hi, Dr. Emily. Am I the asshole for being a pillow princess in bed? I prefer to be serviced versus taking charge and being on top, figuratively and literally.

It's not laziness. I just can't focus as much on the pleasure if I'm in control. All right. You are not an asshole. In fact, I love. that you know what you need. You are light years ahead, many people who just sort of pretend they want something else

and perform during sex. This is what you're saying. You're saying, I want to be serviced. This is who I am. And she's going to have to find a partner who's okay with it, which is totally doable. If being, quote, lazy in bed is how she can be in her body more and feel more pleasure,

I think that's totally valid. As long as she's also giving the time to please her, partner. I think that's where it could be an asshole if you're just like, I'm a receiver 100% of the time. You can take care of yourself. It obviously has to be reciprocated maybe on a different night, like one night's all about you, one night's all about me, as you always say. But she's going to have to find some balance here. But if she finds somebody who loves being on top and they get off by her getting off, that's great. But there has to be given tech care. That's exactly it. She can't just absolve herself from all responsibility in the relationship. You can't just say, yes, just service me and I'm

never going to do anything. But have a talk with your partners and let them know. Find someone who's okay with it. I just love people who know what they want. Mostly what we do here is help people figure out how to get it. I don't think you're an asshole at all, but you could venture into asshole territory if you are just disinterested and not involved at all in your partner's pleasure. You also won't respect that person after a while. I'm going to be honest, if you just feel like you're just taking, taking, taking eventually, that dynamic doesn't work. Even when we think, think we want somebody who does whatever we want, it becomes codependent sometimes and just toxic. And then we resent someone like, why aren't they standing up for themselves?

So I just fast forward in her relationships if she doesn't give. That's what's going to happen, Lauren. So speak up for what you need and then find out what your partners need as well. I also think that sometimes women and Volvo owners can be pillow princesses because they maybe don't know how to give their partner pleasure. There's not a lot of examples I feel like of how to be the woman in charge in a partnered sex scenario that's not like giving oral sex, you know? That's a great point because she says,

I can't focus much on the pleasure if I'm in control. So she's actually saying she has a way of moving her body probably on the bottom and just sort of taking pleasure, which is very different than people who might be pillow princesses, but they're not actually having any pleasure. They're just lying there and not advocating for what they want. that's a different scenario yeah I always thought of pillow princesses is like someone who just kind of lies there um which is very common it is common too but I like that we're making this decision

because we're not saying that someone who just lies there and receives and is checking their email now looking it up it says being a pillow princess is someone who only likes receiving and not giving which is what she's saying but and we already clarified we already clarified that we clarified that with you that um maybe you'll find a partner who's like you know what I just want to give to you but you're going to have to make me dinner. Like I, I don't know. There's going to have to be some giving. And in fact, I don't think that any of us feel good as humans if we don't give equitably in a relationship or in general.

So could we maybe say that if you are 100% of pillow princess, that is kind of an asshole behavior? If you're only receiving and never giving? I think so. I think we can say that that would be an asshole move if you refuse to give and only receive sexually. So that was kind of an evolution. It is an evolution. but if she finds a partner who really, really, really is okay with it. They completely understand what you mean by a pillow princess.

You're never going to give them any kind of oral. You're never going to give them a massage. You're not going to initiate. And they're actually okay with it. And being the dominant one in charge, maybe they get turned on by that. Yeah. Then I'm okay if you're all okay. But it would be an asshole move if she was in a relationship and just pulls the

Pillop Princess card. But if she's very forthcoming about who she is, she finds a taker. you're good to go You're golden All right We support you Guys this is all about consent Right

If someone consents to being with you As your pillow prints as self Let's go Let's go This is from Mark He's 42 and he says Neither of us are assholes But we're not having sex

I'm in a dead bedroom Of 10 plus years with my wife And friend of 22 years We've been in therapy for the last year and I've consumed years of podcast, books, Instagram psychology, journaling so much, just so so much. She hates her body, which is a pity, she's gorgeous, has childhood trauma and is repulsed by my touch. Repulsed is an intense word. I know she loves me.

She's just asleep before nine, recoils when I suggest date nights, and scheduled sex has never been an option for her. She's my motherfucking person. I don't want to leave her, but I can't initiate. years of rejection and a dash of rejection dysphoria, and I'm scared of feeling horny. I'm not the asshole, and neither is she. I have sex with her about once every five to six months, and I hate that our sex life is and has always been unilaterally her decision. My main approach is to make sure that she knows that I am still her safe place, but nothing

has shifted, and it's been years any advice. P.S. been listening to your podcast for three plus years, and it's really good. It just makes me jealous of people that are having sex when I'm not, because my sexual self is a petulant child, apparently. All right, there's some anger, which I totally understand here, Mark. And let me just say a side note here. He's been with her for 22 years. That's a long time.

And then we're hearing that since the beginning it's been this way. And so I don't want to use you as an example here, but I have to, Mark. So if you're listening to me right now and you're in a new relationship, or you've been with someone for three years, five years, whatever it is, you have all the information you need. People don't change that much. So if you're with somebody right now who doesn't want sex, they won't communicate about sex. You've tried things, but they won't talk about sex. Do something now. Don't wait 22 years. Don't wait another 10 years. People don't change unless they want to change. So a lot of times we sit in a relationship thinking, oh, maybe they're

going to come around. Maybe they're going to, no, they don't come around. People just become more set in their ways the older they get. This could be a wake-up call for many. But let's go back to Mark here. My darling, Mark, I know you love each other deeply. You are in a very intense relationship of connection and she is your everything and you're her everything, it sounds like, I get it. But you've been listening to podcasts and advice for 10 years, my podcast for three years. You got to grow some balls here, Mark. You got to do something here to move this because you have enough information.

You know her. Either you're going to try to work on this relationship intensely like it is your job because it is your job or you have to get to. out of this relationship. You just do. Because now you're venturing into you are afraid of rejection. And then you've got fear in all these places. You're afraid if you do have sex now. You're afraid if you don't have sex. When you do have sex, you're afraid because you know what she's going to say later. He even said it's making him afraid to be horny at all. You're afraid to be horny now. What aren't you afraid of? There is fear permeating every area of

your relationship right now. And I'm not feeling great about this for you. So it's probably impacting other areas of your life. It's probably impacting your confidence, your self-esteem. I'm not even sure how you guys are communicating about other things. If you're walking on eggshells around your sex life, where else are you walking on eggshells? But he does say that she's his person. And this, we hear this so many times someone is your everything except in the bedroom. You can't be everything not in the bedroom. The bedroom isn't a side note. It's not like they're everything, but they won't play pickleball with me. Sex is the thing. Sex is the thing. in the relationship that makes you connected and lovers, romantic partners.

Now, if you're saying she's your everything, she's your best friend, but she's not going to be the one that is your sex partner, because that's where it's going, well, then you need to figure out how you're going to get your needs back, because it doesn't sound like she's meeting your fundamental needs of sex. Sex is important in a relationship when one person wants it. And the other one doesn't, it's still important. If you both don't want it and you both have opted out of sex, well, then we wouldn't be having a conversation right now. She does need to go to individual therapy for her trauma. It's going to work on her body confidence. She has to work on her trauma. And also you need individual therapy. And in fact, where I've seen this work for

couples, Erica, where I think this could turn around if they both go to individual therapy and they both go to therapy together. They need it. They need some embodiment. She could work with like an embodiment counselor, a sexological body worker. They need healing. They need touch. Maybe they need some tantra, some eye gazing. What are some examples of those exercises? Okay. So, I would love them to have examples of sitting with a therapist that has them just look into each other's eyes for a few minutes and see what emotions come up. What are they feeling in their bodies? Somebody who helps them speak bodily wisdom and helps her get more grounded in her emotions and her sexual energy. I mean, it sounds like if she's had some trauma, she's probably

just stuffed it all way down, which is why she can say, I hate sex, I hate my body. So an embodiment therapist would help them look into each other's eyes. They would have them practice one-way touch, she would maybe shut her eyes and he would do some touch on her hand and she would explain where she wants to be touched and where she doesn't want to be touched, then they would reverse roles. That's what a therapist who specializes in this could help them with some words around touch and connection and intimacy. And if you guys don't want to do that kind of work, then definitely just a talk therapist to help you communicate. Because if you are each other's person and you're really able to explain to her a way that she can learn to listen, because

therapist also helps you listen and repeat back what you heard. If she hears you, her person, explain how much you're suffering, how you're walking on eggshells, how you're not feeling great about sex anymore because you're not even feeling this connection and love from her. I can't imagine that your life partner isn't going to have a reaction to that and going to want to do everything they can to make you feel heard and seen and nurtured and loved. Maybe people still don't because they have shame around sex is, again, the only solution therapy if you want it to work. Yeah. Now, sometimes couples have a life-threatening thing happen.

It's like a death of a loved one or a partner or they, you know, get sick and something happens and they realize how precious their relationship is. How precious is like that. I don't want to wait until it's life or death. I want you guys to do this right now. I want you guys to work on your relationship today. And opting out of therapy is essentially saying I am opting out of their relationship. I'm not okay with that. You already know that it's not working. I can hear the suffering and that tinge of anger and resentment already boiling over in the way you are talking to me here, Mark. So

take some action. You can only control your side of it. So if you got to get into therapy once or twice a week and learn some tools, then do it. You're responsible for your own mental health as well. Thanks for your question, Mark. that's it for today's episode thank you so much for listening to sex with emily and if you love the show please like subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcast and hey share this with a friend or a partner it might just spark something it usually does you can find me on instagram tick tock youtube facebook and x it's all at sex with emily oh and i've been told i give really good email so sign up at sex with emily.com for a free

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