Sex With Emily - Show and Tell to Orgasm Well

Episode Date: January 13, 2018

On today’s show, Emily is taking calls and giving you ways to reawaken sexual attraction over the long term, because the honeymoon phase isn’t everlasting. She’s helping listeners to understand why you should love your vagina – inside and out, how taking time for yourself after a divorce is crucial for self-growth, and why showing someone how you like to be touched is a whole lot sexier than just telling them. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Beachbody On Demand, Adam & Eve, Magic Wand, Womanizer Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm taking your calls and talking all things, sex, and relationships. Topics include how to re-awake in sexual attraction over the long term, learning to love your vagina inside and out, why taking time to work on yourself after a divorce is a crucial opportunity for growth, and the sexy benefits of shifting from talking to showing when it comes to sharing your desires. All this and more, thanks for listening. They call them in a bag on me. Hey, Abelie, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common with all of it? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Abelie's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information. Go to our website, check it out. It's a good time. We've got all of our podcasts.

Ooh, we've got a really great blog. We put out that is Best Podcast of 2017, a sexy year in review. So you can check out our best podcasts of 2017 a sexy year in review, so you can check out our best podcasts of 2017. Please note, yes, there is anal, anal is mentioned in several of them, and you guys really like the anal. In fact, I called it the year of anal licking, and I think I was right, because licking is a thing I've had several requests, not personally, but friends and friends of friends equate, they're all like, hey, Emily, so what's with Rimming?

What's with Licking? So I do think it is there's more anal happening. So anyway, they're not all about analogue. It's all of our best shows. If you missed them this year, there are favorite shows from the year, our most popular shows. So check that out on the website, along with all the other fun content we have on there to help you have a better life, better sex and relationships. And as always, follow me on social media.

It's all at sex with Emily on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter. And I love hearing from you guys. Also, you guys are contests. You have two more days to be a part of our better lover 2018. So I want to know, how are you going to be a better lover this year?

Like, think about it. What would you like to change in your relationship? How's your sex life now? And in a year from now, what would you like to see happen? Maybe you want to get over the ejaculation orgasm or all over. You're like, oh, that's boring. I like to do something else. Or maybe you want to ask what you want in bed or masturbate more. We want to hear from you. Email it. Feedback at secrote the Emily dot com with the subject Better Lover 2018 to enter our contest. We'll pick four of

you to receive a sexy package by January 14th. So do that. We want to give you prizes and we want you to better sex. So speaking of better sex and relationships, there was an article that came out. Oh, headline. Ready? Many couples had the same complaint about their sex lives. And it ain't that hard to fix. You're still going to have challenges, but this is something that you know how strongly

I feel about this, and I want you guys to really, really, really hear this. That in a long-term relationship, it is biologically, evolutionarily, physically, this is proven across the board that over time, the romance and the passion is going to fade. It is like clockwork, you know, I've said,

it's six months to two years, the honeymoon phase. Like, that's legit, you guys. But the problem, the struggle that couples have, is that you guys think you're the first one to ever happen to. You're like, oh my God, we've been together and guess what? It's not the same as it was when we were on drugs, which is what you are essentially on drugs when you're falling in love with someone,

the serotonin, the adrenaline, the oxytocin, all that stuff makes you feel like you're on drugs. It's a good drug, because you're in love and the sex is amazing, but that is going to change. In fact, everything changes in life. Life is about impermanence, right? It is true that we all were comfortable in our comfortable places, right? So we like having our regular TV shows and we like going to the same restaurants. And we like, you know, routine and familiarity. And it feels really good to have a partner to do all those things with. But sometimes, you know, that also can become a little stale. So there have been multiple studies that show that when you do something different, like you like, you know what? Let's not go to a movie on Saturday night, but let's take a dance

class or let's go hiking on Saturday. Something that uses adrenaline, you get that same adrenaline going when you're doing something active with your partner. And the other thing I want to just note here is that accept the fact that you're going to have challenges and that a marriage is likely to change and shape multiple times or a really committed relationship

over the course of your lifetime. Like it's going to be, sometimes you're going to want sex more often than your partner is and it's going to switch. Sometimes not at all. You're going to be an experimental phase. You're going to be in not having sex phase. And the only thing I can tell you about dealing with these situations when they come up and these different phases is accepting them and saying, you know what?

This is normal. This happens in all relationships just like getting sick. Just like getting the flu. You know, you're gonna get sick. Your sex life is gonna get sick too. If you know, but the best thing you can do is know that, accept it and say, you know what, we're in one of those slumps, babe.

Let's talk about what to do. Because then it becomes both of your challenges. Not just one person emailing me and saying, what do I do about it? So, know that you're all fine. The easy fix, it's accepting it. That was easy, right? I just solved your problem.

Let's give a shout out to our sponsors. They're awesome and so are you. We'll be right back. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Okay, guys, now we're gonna go on to your calls. I love talking to you guys. This is like, I'm like excited. I came in, I'm like, yeah, we get to talk.

If you have a question you want me to answer, just text Ask Emily, all one word, to 7979, 7979, and then you get a link back and you can just send your question that way. You can also go to sexathelmy.com via the Ask Emily tab and as always, including information that's gonna help me help you, your gender, your age, including information that's gonna help me help you, your gender, your age, where you live,

and how you listen to this show. Our next call is David, he's 37 from Texas, and he's trying to find the balance and dating to not be lonely versus taking time to discover what he really wants. And he's seeking some advice. Hi, David. Hi, Emily, thanks for taking my call.

Yes, thank you. Thank you for calling in. So tell me what's going on right now. Hi David. Hi Emily, thanks for taking my call. Yes, thank you. Thank you for calling in. So tell me what's going on right now. Well sure, I had a break up about a month ago with a girl that has been with for two years, who I thought was just going to be everything. And I still think the world of her, but when it came to chemistry and kind of physicality, it just wasn't really ever there.

I think she was so good at everything else that I thought, okay, this isn't that important. Right. Did you guys try to work on it? And then we, she had had, I think, some abuse when she was younger and was very, very untreated trauma, yeah. I had about that entire subject and I tried

but I had some pretty awkward conversations trying to fix it and then didn't get much. So anyway, that ended just looking for the next step, I guess. All right. It just ended like a month ago. Yeah, a month ago, and I just found out about your show and one of the things you bring up a lot is taking time to be alone. Right.

Figure out what you want. I like it. It's just curious. What does that mean? I love this question. No, I just read it. And thank you for letting me listen to 10 to 15 shows while driving. I love thinking of you driving to work listening to such a memory.

So I get it. And you really made me think about it because I'm always saying, take time for yourself. Do you? And it's like, what does that really mean? So I was thinking, that's a really great question. So let me explain it you so typically I mean well first of all you were in this two-year relationship Have you been in long-term relationships before what's your relationship history like? Probably call me a serial monogamous Okay

The girl before her was probably eight months before that and that was two years and Then I had a long stint where I'm a young lawyer, or was a young lawyer, and I'm old. But I worked a lot and didn't date much at all. Right, okay. And then there've been some other long relationships before that. Got it, okay.

So what I mean by that is like, is the time that you take when you're not in a relationship and you're not searching, because it takes up a lot of energy, right? So it sounds like when you weren't dating before, you were working, which I can totally relate to, right? Being like you're crazy working busy. And then you probably, in relationships,

I don't really know, it's always like a cycle that you're going through. So what you realize, when you're in that cycle, like pretty much most of your life, there's a lot of energy expended, trying to find the person, dating the person, God,

we all go through that amazing honeymoon phase, right, for six months and two years, and then we try to get back to that, and the relationship ends, and then we get into another one. And so it's a lot of our mental and physical energy. So when I say take time, like, just say, you know what, I'm gonna take dating and even finding someone that even sex off the table

for a few months. Let me take a relationship in photography. Let me think about the last relationship relationship, these are just some examples. Let me think about what I really liked about this partner and what I didn't like. What maybe it's even your last relationship. What are the traits that are really important to you, the deal breakers and the things that you can't handle and prioritizing those. For a lot of people when you're 37, it sounds like your career is going well.

It could be getting back into shape, working out, seeing friends, like building up your life so you're in a really strong independent place in all these other areas. So then when you're out and you start dating again and looking for someone, you're gonna be in a much better place because you're gonna be a lot clearer about, you know, who David is right now,

not coming off of a breakup, not, you know, doing all these other things but like having space and time to kind of be clear without all the noise or relationships. To circle back to the original question okay well how do you do that with imbalance not getting lonely all the time. Right okay great question and so also this is just about being self-aware and looking at your your own issues but how do that being lonely what I would say is well do you you mean lonely without a woman or do you have a lot of friends in Texas

or you just mean like, yeah, no, okay. I've got a social life and friends and what a 10-thleet to is dating. You've spent too much time out with the guys. So if you are able to, because I listen, I'm not all about like take three months, never have sex, I'm not about that. If you want to start dating again,

or if you want to just start meeting people, what if you really went out with people and you kind of didn't have sex, I'm not about that. If you want to start dating again or if you want to start meeting people, what if you really went out with people and you kind of didn't have sex? Like, are you talking about just companionship or are you like, I need to have sex? Because if you're looking just to like have company and actually meet women without like sex in the back of your mind, but actually get to talk, that's a great practice too. And just say, you know what, I'm not looking for anything right now, but I want to actually sit with women and talk to them without that lens of like issue the one is it's going to be the next, this is going to be the Mrs. David, but just kind of really, you know what I'm saying?

It flips the perspective rather like one a day to sex going to happen, you know, and just thinking like, because then you're meeting more people, you could still do that. Maybe go on a few dates a week and make a lunch is not dinners. So you're still, and maybe if you like someone, you'll go to a movie sometime. You could still keep seeing them, but maybe don't make it all about the sex, more about like what is residing with me or this person. I really like that we both like the same books that we like traveling or hiking or whatever it is. And then you can kind of come at it from a different perspective. I don't know if you've done that before. I think a lot of us don't naturally do that. I don't think guys think of it. They don't think of it. That's why.

I'm not trying to get laid. Exactly. I know I'm telling a man not to get laid, but you're not 20. So you're 37. And I feel like this is the right time to do it. And I think you'll be amazed at to see what you have all this clarity that you're going to have. And you're going to feel, you know, you're going to kind of understand more about what you like. And it'll kind of be toxic perhaps if you run into someone who just isn't aligned with what your values and what you're looking for right now Whereas right now if you start dating having sex and you just got out of this relationship It'll feel great to be with someone else because you'll forget the act. You know, I mean it's tangled But to actually go out and say oh, I'm just going to kind of think of this as an experiment

You know, I'm going to ask these questions. These are the things that are important to me. You know, do they want children, religion, you know, do we like doing the same things? Like, really ask questions and try to like find out, because this is also a way to kind of educate yourself. And it'll make it a lot easier when you go back out there again. Well, I really appreciate you taking my call. Well, you're so welcome, David. And I think it's going to be good for you.

Does it look good? No pressure now. Okay, thanks so welcome, David. And I think it's gonna be good to hear for you. Does it look good? No pressure now. Okay, thanks. Bye, David. You guys, I really did like that question because I've been doing this for 13 years and as soon as I say things like, oh, just take time for yourself and you're like,

what does that mean? Well, I hope that I explain that to all of you. How important it can be to really take that time and it is not easy. And the other thing I would like to say, if David is listening to this or to everybody, it's okay to be lonely. And so actually loneliness can actually be a precursor to you really realizing what you truly want in another human. And so it's not so bad.

We try to fight off all these negative things, but sometimes it's really good just to be with ourselves. So if you realize that you've been kind of surrounded by people your whole life or relationships or sex, try to take a little breather. It feels really good. A lot of clarity. Cover your way. Okay, our next call. We have Ava. She's 28 from Washington and she's seeking ways to achieve orgasm more quickly with her partner. Hi, Ava. Hi. So nice to talk to you. So nice to talk to you too. Okay, tell me what's going on. Give me some background. Okay, so I've been with my partner for two years now and I think we just have a lot of communication issues surrounding the topic of sex. I like everybody. It's okay. That's okay. We all do. All right. Oh, no, you're totally good. I can only achieve orgasm when he performs oral sex on me,

but he starts to get neck pain really quickly. And so it's kind of become like a burden, or at least I feel like it is. And I'm not able to achieve orgasms through sex. So that has also been a little bit of a problem, so I was just calling in to see if you had any tips or tricks. Yeah, absolutely. So you've been here for two years

and he says that his neck cramps when he performs oral sex. And how long does he perform the oral sex before the cramping starts? It can take anywhere from like half an hour to an hour. Oh, I guess I would just say 45 minutes. Okay, so at 45 minutes, he's like, I'm out. He taps out.

I just thought you were gonna say like two minutes and I was gonna be upset. So 45 minutes, that's a big game. Okay, go ahead. I'm like, if he's like, babe. Okay, he taps out. I just thought you were gonna say like two minutes and I was gonna be upset. So 45 minutes, that's a big game. Oh my God, I know. Okay, go ahead. I'm like, if he's like, babe. Okay, so two minutes, I'm done. Okay, so 45 minutes. Okay, so here's the other things.

Now, when you're masturbating, you said that you can orgasm quickly. So, or you can orgasm well, have you ever shown him how you like to be touched? Kind of, but I think that it just kind of gets pushed to like the back of the mind when we're in like the middle of it maybe because he's kind of just excited and not really thinking about it in the way that I am. But I feel like I've suggested more things than he has to kind of improve the sex for

him to touch me or for me to touch myself. But it always has to be like me initiating it and sometimes it just feels like more working it. No, I totally get it. I totally get it. I know. It says we're just like, oh, we're all right. It's already going.

I'll do it next time, and then you don't. So this sounds like a real- And you really like them, right? Like you love this guy. You're with them. And yeah. OK. And you said you give communication issues.

Are you guys talking about sex at all? Like outside the bedroom? Have you guys had she said, like, I want you to orgasm or what's the deal? And you know, OK. Yeah, We have. We talk about it maybe not as frequently as we should because it seems like the conversations always come after I start to feel frustrated because you know there's been an incident where she's been going down on me and then he says, oh my neck's hurting. Right. Right. Oh okay. So listen sweetie, you know, having the conversations

in the bedroom where you think it would be happening because you're in the bedroom and it's sex is not always the best thing. In fact, I always recommend that people have sex conversations not in the bedroom, not after sex or before sex. But when you're like in a neutral space, maybe you're going on a hike, right?

You're on a road trip somewhere. So your eyes are facing the road and you don't have to look at each other, but you can still have the talk and it doesn't spill into sex so that it becomes attached to the actual act. So it's frustration or coming out in the way that you don't want to do.

So it's really about timing and location and then tone. So going into it with your partner, you want to make sure that it's positive and that you like being with him and you like your relationship, but you want to talk to him about your sex life, about orgasm and he knows that you get frustrated and it's not that you blame him, but what you, what you could say is, you know what I realize is that I haven't really shown you what makes me feel good and what

you could do. And so let me tell you. And so I think what I'd recommend is a few things. First, mutual masturbation, if you guys haven't done it, I know you might think this is hard to even bring up, but it's really hot just to watch each other because then he can see how you touch yourself. Where your fingers go, what you do, what that movement is, he could even place his hand over yours.

And you can watch him masturbate too, so then you know what he does, whatever. It's always good to learn that information when our partner does. So that's one way, the other thing is, do you masturbate with a vibrator? I have, but usually no, I don't. Okay, so this is your fingers. Yes.

So you could also show them. First of all, just so you know, most women don't orgasm during intercourse alone. I'd say only 30% do. And of those, it's not every single time. And the reason is because women require more clinical stimulation. And so I feel like this is what's happening, you're just not getting that kind that you need.

And so even when he's going down on you, what if you touched yourself to kind of help him to aid him along and to see what you're doing? Yeah. I mean, we've, sorry, I didn't mean to drug you. No, no, go ahead. We've tried that a few times. I've tried that. I just feel like it kind of has No, no, go ahead. We've tried that a few times. I've tried that. I just feel like it kind of has to come from him

with maybe it's a position that we're in, but it feels like there's a, you know, it's a tricky to get into the position. Otherwise, it feels kind of like crowded, you know what I mean? No, I don't know. I feel like you can find the position together. Here's the thing. And I feel like when I, when in my 20s,

I thought like if I touched myself, maybe like a guy would think that was weird or he would judge me or think, God, why does she know her body so well? But I'm telling you universally, what it's really hot to watch your part. Like I think he'd be very turned on by you, like saying, this is what I do when I masturbate.

And let me show you, he'll find the position. Get him a neck pillow. You know, maybe you guys could do 69 or something, right? I mean, or he could flip the other way. Like if you're, you could sit on his face, you, right? I mean, or he could flip the other way like if you're you could sit on his face You're set on his face. Then he's comfy. Get him a really good What are the pillows called the the temperpidic pillow? temperpidic? Yeah, haven't just laid back and you said you can still hold yourself up with your knees

But I'm saying there's ways around this your or get there's a good news sweetie. You can have orgasms You're with a partner who wants to please you. 45 minutes is, that's significant. That's a good amount of time. And so really, you've got all the ingredients. It's really just get out of your head that he's got initiated, that he's got to be the want, and that you're gonna initiate this.

Because he's a man, and sounds like his piece is working fine, and it's all good, right? Nothing is in love you, but he has to get all the intricacies, you know, with women, and how it's the orgasm, and is in love, you. But he has to get all the intricacies, you know, with women, how it's the orgasm. And maybe the reason why you haven't been able to in the 45 minutes is because you weren't the time before and then you're thinking, your head going, am I gonna orgasm?

So it gets really tricky up there, right? So I feel like you just got experiment with some of these things. How does that sound? That sounds good. I think part of the issue is like, even when I find like sitting on a seat, it's just 16 the nine it's like

a neck motion issue like where he's not able to like the mobile enough you know the mean does he okay so does he have net problems are just during this no i think it's just with i think it's just that amount of time kind of like bills up right pension

okay so um... i, here's a thing. No one says it has to be so linear either. Like you could have intercourse. He could, you know, he could go down to you. You could use a toy. I mean, you could use your fingers and he uses mouth and you could back up, you know what I'm saying? Like, it seems very, you could have a lot more fun with this.

I feel like you're taking the seriously down. I want you guys to mix this up and have some fun and throw caution to the wind and maybe get it like, oh, tell everyone night, or do it in the other room, or where something that makes you feel sexy or play some different music and make this fun. Like bring some like spice to this that will turn you on and you're gonna be able to find the positions

of the moves that work for you, I promise. Okay, okay, you got this. Just keep trying things, because you're gonna be very close. Okay, you're welcome. Bye. But thank you Thanks for calling it. Bye. Okay, so here's the thing you guys about orgasms and sex It's since we have to use words since we have to show it's like show and tell don't be afraid to use all the tools that you have Available to demonstrate to your partner what you need guys, life is too short to suffer through bed sex because it didn't feel right in the moment

or it wasn't the right time or the right day. It's always the right time to talk to your partner about having bed sex always. And so thinking about this too, Ava, if you're listening to this about your guy, I'm thinking about these crazy neck movements, like is he bobbing up and down, like is he moving back and forth?

Maybe he could just kind of relax a little bit and just get some more tongue movements in there because the tongue is like, you know, and tongue's in fingers too, using his tongue lightly for a lot of them and they like a lighter touch anyway. So he could just like swirl his tongue around, use some fingers.

So why don't you help him with this, figuring that out. I think that's another thing so he can be comfy there on the pillow and just keep going. Okay, our next call is Rina. She's 24 from Florida and she's self-conscious about her Audi vagina. Rina, hi. Let's talk about it. I know, right? No, it's, but it's, yeah. Okay, tell me what's going on. You said this started bothering you recently. I know you get calls about guys

and talking about their habits all the time and here I am like, oh my gosh, like my normal, there's a giant of normal. But I guess I'm a little self conscious because it doesn't look like everyone else is but I haven't seen that many of you guys in my life. Right. How is this like manifesting right now?

Are you not able to touch yourself or mastermate do not want to have sex? Like what level are we at? Are you just kind of curious? I'm not like, yeah. You know, like. Touching myself is fine. OK, good.

Because I've been traveling for about six months. And this self-conscious thing is like a new phenomenon. OK. Yeah, it's very strange. I don't know if it's because I've been This self-conscious thing is like a new phenomenon. Okay. Yeah, it's very strange. I don't know if it's because I've been hooking up with different guys from all over the world. So it's like,

they've got different penises, right? You have some circumcised, uncircumcised penises, right? They're, I don't know. Yeah. I would think that guy's all over the world. Yeah, no, I don't know. Maybe to do a lot of time, you're traveling.

I went traveling too for like six months, a long time ago, but I get it. You're on the road. Yeah, no, I don't know. Maybe to do a lot of time you're traveling. I went traveling to for like six months Long time ago, but I get it. You're on the road. I get it. You got a lot of time to think Listen, and I'm like oh my gosh, and I've been finding myself to be like really attractive Sister, but I'm like, you know, I'm not gonna hook up because like what if you think like There, okay, right, right, okay, I'm so glad that is a brand new thought Okay, good. We're gonna get rid of it I'm going to I'm going to I'm going if I could surgically remove that from you right now I would but I'm gonna do my best to let you know that it's just a story that you're telling yourself that is not true

Not based anywhere in any reality and just like there could be a man who's like Oh, I only want a woman with large boobs, and maybe you've smaller boobs, or I want a guy who has a big penis, and we're all gonna have things that we like, or don't like about partners. But what you're told, I'm saying, like, sure, that could happen. There might be something, but I mean,

really, of all the times, like, I've been, first of all, you wouldn't want to be with a guy if that was even their thing, right? Like, I wouldn't want to be with a guy who's like, oh, I only want to be with a guy. Whatever. That's not your guy. Then think about having the negative body image

and thinking that it's an attractive, it can undermine your sexual confidence. And so that's, you know, and I think that's all the sudden you're like, oh my gosh, you start speccing, guessing yourself or like, right. You lose the being in the moment thing.

Oh my gosh. Like, ah. So I think we got to get you into some mindfulness practice and some mindful masturbation practice if you can, if you have like, staying in rooms by yourself. But really, it's like looking in the mirror, like touching your body, loving your body,

and just having these messages your head, like the goddess, like because that's really what y'all are, like as women, like your body is this beautiful thing. Yeah, and if so much, so much like sexual energy and power and all this stuff. And like that is the last, like I'm telling you, any guy who is having sex to do is going to be thinking, I am so friggin' psyched that I get to have sex there right now.

He's not thinking about that. And like, like, I mean, really, we, there are no, nobody talked about this years ago before porn. And the truth is, every vagina is different. You put a hundred women in a room. Not only will they all be masturbating or touching themselves differently, but everybody will look differently.

So this is just something like, I think like your vagina is like totally fine. It's normal. It's the confidence and it's the thoughts. But luckily, this is very new. So we can just kind of replace those thoughts with you being in the moment and thinking about what. So if you find yourself insects floating off to like,

is he looking at me funny? If you can kind of have a thought, you have a beginning. Yeah, in the beginning it's like oh my gosh, am I going to do this? It can really impact your sex life too, you know, yourself it seems. I'm just saying the more you can be with a guy in the moment be like I'm going to go back to what it feels like to be kissing him right now or what it feels like to have them inside me and what are the sounds outside or what am I smelling? Like all the senses, so you're not distracted by thoughts. Like we just want to get rid of those thoughts because they'll go away because they're very new, they're not even real, they're not based

on any reality at all. So I wish. Yeah, it's just a good thing. It's one of the things that we make up in our head and we're like, oh my gosh. Yeah, no, this is not even a thing. Like I've never, you're going to hurt it. Yeah, you hear guys talking about whatever,

but I've never heard that. I never guys say I broke up with her because of this or it was a thing, Like, I've never, you're going to hurt it. Yeah, you hear guys talking about whatever, but I've never heard that. I never guys say broke up with her because of this or it was a thing, but that doesn't even, and if he did this, like, again, this is not the person that you want to be with, but this is not a real thing. I'm sorry, I'm going to tell you. Right. It's really not like truly like, thank God. If guys add dick to you about this, like, thank God, he showed you right away. Not your man, but you're going to find so many men.

This won't even be a thing. And I'm going to argue right now that this actually won't even be a thing, and I'm gonna argue right now that this actually won't even come up for you again. Like, I don't think this ever will. Like, I think we've just like, because it's not even a real story, so I don't even wanna spend time, like, it's about confidence,

and it's about yourself a steam, and so if you can just switch these thoughts and go back to like, feeling really sexual again, fantasize about great sexual moments you've had in the past, and like, get that to steam back up, and masturbation is a great way to do that as well. Like really appreciating your body and what it can do and like filling yourself with like these positive thoughts

and kind of playing that sensation game when you're having sex so the thoughts go away. It's basically gone. It really does all come down to like confidence. So hearing this come from you, I'm just like, okay, yeah, like reaffirms. Oh good, honey. That is it, because it's, I mean, I'm just like, okay, yeah, like for your firms. Oh good. I don't know.

That is it because it's, I mean, there's nothing else to say, so you got this. Your vagina is beautiful. It is a gift. And you got nothing to worry about. There's a gift. It's not a divine gift. It is. Yeah, yeah.

If it comes back again, like, listen to the show, call me back, but I want this to be gone. It's 2018. It's a new year. Your vagina is amazing. So take care of you. Okay, good to see you, sweetie. Thanks for calling. Have a good night. Bye. Yeah, thank you. Bye-bye. Oh, you guys, it really is about confidence, really sexual confidence is so important. No, we don't have it for whatever reason, performance issues, we feel like we gained two pounds, we lost too much weight, whatever it is, we all take these thoughts into the bedroom and sometimes they carry us throughout our lives.

And second, you can recognize those thoughts and realize, oh, that thought that came from me, that is me. That I'm telling myself these thoughts, it's not true, not based in reality, we get rid of it, we go back into our bodies, we don't have to let these thoughts control us because it really let's like pisses me off that our bodies can have so much pleasure and they're so beautiful and they're such a gift and they're all working and we worry about it. So if you're polluting yourself right now with any negative

thoughts and you feel like I think you should throw out the window right now with Reno because all of our bodies are beautiful and we can all have incredible sex. I promise you. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to this show. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope that inspired you right now to send me an email or text me with your questions and call them to the show. And hope you enjoyed it and I hope that inspired you right now to send me an email or text me with your questions and call into the show. And thanks for subscribing and iTunes and reviewing the show. And thank you to my amazing team, Ken, Jamie, our intern

Shannon, Jenny, producer, Lark, and Michael. Thanks, I love you all. It was a good for you. Email me, feedback and sex with Emily.com. Check it sex with Emily.com.