Sex With Emily - Sizzling Summer Sex

Episode Date: June 10, 2015

Have you ever wondered why things seem so much sexier in summer? In this podcast, we’re getting into the topic of sizzling summer sex -- Emily breaks down actual scientific facts and statistics to explain why we’re all so turned on and ready to mingle during the hot-weather months and provides tips to help you turn up the heat on your bedroom routine. She also answers emails from a couple listeners who are looking to improve their relationships on both emotional and sexual levels, and shares her latest dating epiphany.Whether you’re single, dating or in a serious relationship, this podcast has the tips and tricks you need for the perfect summer-lovin’ to fit your lifestyle. Don’t miss it.. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening. Tonight's show is all about summer. Why? Because summer is the best time for dating and taking your sex life to the next level, and I'm going to tell you how. So listen in and enjoy the show. Okay, everybody, fleshlight. It is the number one sex toy for men.

But it's not just that, yes, the number one, but why? Like, why? When you're thinking, why do I need a sex toy? I've got my hand, and sometimes I've got other things. Like, you know, women, lady parts, men parts, whatever, but the thing about flashlight is, it's a male masturbation sleeves, sleeve and sleeves, you can buy many of them, that actually simulates the feeling of having sex and it actually has a little bit different what I've learned because if you actually talk to a lot of men because as you know, I don't have a

penis, I can't actually try one, which I so wish I could. But it has bumps and ridges in like these sensations that are blow your mind. Like, men tell me they have like a different kind of mind blowing orgasm when they use the flashlight. And it just mixes up your masturbation or use it with a partner. You know, maybe she's not always in the mood for sex.

She can just use the flashlight or you can use it on your own. you know, maybe she's not always in the mood for sex, she can just use a flashlight, or you can use it on your own. It is a good time, okay? I've never had anyone say, why the hell would you tell me by a flashlight? That's all I gotta say, and I've been talking about it for a long time. So, every guy should have one,

and also, if you want to less longer in bed, they make the flashlight stand-up training unit, does the same thing, it's kind of like a toofr. You have a great orgasm, great masturbation, and do a last longer for your lover. So everybody check it out. Go to sexwithemily.com. Click on the Flashlight banner. Use code Emily and you get a free bottle of their award-winning Flash Loop.

So go to sexwithemily.com, use code Emily. Get some loop, get a flashlight, and have a party. Thanks for listening. Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, bro, it's got everything. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here. I'm so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

For more information, go to sexwithm.me.com. And when you get there, it's really easy. You should just, you know, definitely subscribe to our newsletter, which is awesome. If there are awards for new zetters, I think I'd get them. And I'm not a big brager, but people love them. They enjoy them. That's a good time. It's once a week.

Get some good information. And also, easily, we have two podcasts a week. You can just subscribe and just get them in your, you know, wherever you get your iTunes. You can listen on the podcast one app. You can, you know, get our shows twice a week because they're pretty fucking good, right, Anderson? I think they know. What? Well, they're listening right now. Well, but they don't know that I have two a week, maybe if they're the first time. It's true. If you're first time, right, two a week. Anderson, this is my buddy Anderson. What up, Em? How are you? It's great to see you're first time, Anderson, this is my body, Anderson. What up, man? How are you? It's great to see you. Per per use. Yes. And happy summer. It's summer

is almost here. Yeah. It's like, wasn't it? Well, I guess it's not tep, well, it is summer much June 21st is the first day of summer. It's also the longest day of the year. Exactly. And I can't believe it's already here. I can't believe it. There are, I don't even know what happened. But it is here. And summer, do you know this show we're going to be talking about why it is the best time for dating. It's actually not just because it's hot and everyone looks amazing. That's part of it and you feel good about yourself and the sun's out. But there's actually biological reasons and scientific reasons. But also it's a great time for sex. So when you get into that as well and what kind of summer sex you should be having.

Also reading your emails. And last week I did a really, I did some good shows last week, Anderson. I'm sorry you weren't there. But I did it with my friend Anna David about online dating and we released it. It was called like how to succeed in online dating. And I think you all enjoy that show because a lot of people have been getting hit me up about it that they liked it. Because I've actually been dating Anderson,

and I've never actively, I know, I've never proactively, like, I'm gonna date. And there's this whole thing that we touched on, like, duty dating, that it's important to, like, I don't like that. I like the word. I know, it's terrible. The word duty, like, DU-TY.

But it's kind of like, there's a certain thing where I realize I've dated guys that asked me out, but I never, you know, really went out there, like, dated online, or told people I was single, you know realize I've dated guys that asked me out, but I never really went out there, like dated online, or told people I was single, you know, I've been working so much. And there's the thing that's like, just go out with the people that, if you find yourself, you keep dating the same people over again, and you keep having the same thing happen to you, you know, guys are breaking your heart, or women are cheating on you, you know, you have patterns in life. The best thing to do is just to like force yourself to go out with people that you might not necessarily go out with. That you think, you know, I'm not so sure. And then you give them a chance. Maybe give them a second chance.

And you just might be interested to find that you maybe do like this person kind of trying to break old patterns. And just going to go out on these dates, people maybe, you know, to start saying yes to things, saying yes to party, saying yes to different activities that people ask you to do because that's really, you know, how you meet people. Like that episode of Seinfeld, where George decided he was gonna do the opposite of every impulse he had.

That's right. So like you saw a girl and he was terrified, didn't want to talk to her, and then he's like, no, I'm gonna go talk to her. And he didn't work that for a little while. See, for a little while until it didn't. But it's interesting, and I also had like a kind of a weird dating epiphany. So this is another thing, and I'm going to get more into duty dating and an upcoming

show again because I have a lot to say about it. I just give you a brief thing, but all I'm saying is it's summer, start saying yes, start going out and talking to people and meeting people, and I'm going to get into the show on the best ways to do that. But I had an interesting daily thing since I am meeting a lot of different guys lately. So, in, no, I'm not sleeping with anyone yet. That's the other thing I do today.

Well, so the whole theory it started by this one, Pat Allen, just say. Yeah, can you lay out duty data? Let me lay it out for you all. So Pat Allen is a woman who teaches these dating classes in LA and she's been doing it a really long time and there's a lot of women who are like Pat Allen like Dr. She's my woman, she's like my guru.

But the only thing about her is that what she says is that women should date, you know, duty date because they should not come, you should date. This is her thing and I'll pull it up for you. The whole concept, and I'm just taking parts of it that I think work for me. She says, it's for single women to get out and date as many men as possible until she narrows it down to three that she really likes and then to continue dating. Don't have sex with them. All three until she gets, don't have sex with them, you know, date them, until she gets commitment from one of them, commitment being that thing that she's determined

that she really wants. And she says that's because, which I, this part I agree with, is that when you're practicing your dating skills, and so it's kind of like they say, you should say yes to every job interview. If you go out, you'll hear that, like don't turn down a job interview,

because you get experience dating, you get experience from the interview, that it's not based on chemistry, it's practicing. Like real dating is when you're like attracted to someone and you go out and there's courtship and you're looking for relationship. But when you're duty dating, she says that you date, like I said, three different people,

and that's their like immoral or unethical or illegal. Because what happens is when we sleep with people too soon, we have oxytocin in our brains. Women get attached more than men. So a lot of women have a hard time with casual sex. Have they come up with a pill to counteract that yet for you guys? Not yet, no. They can.

You know, it's a feel good hormone. It's release. We have sex. We become intimate with a man and we think it's a bonding hormone. We think, oh my god, he's the one. And so we might see for some one, but date one guy, we go out three dates, three months, we sleep with them, oh my God, he's the one. And so it might seep for some on, but date one guy, we go out three dates, three months, we sleep with them, and we're like, he's the one.

But yet, you didn't date other people, you just jumped from one relationship to the next. And then you're not really learning about what you really want. You're getting attached to somebody who could be a total sociopath, but you don't know because your hormones are raging on that.

Plus, the woman who does that, or man, they're probably love addicts, they probably have a whole lot more going on other than the oxytocin as well. Exactly, but yeah, there's a lot of things going on. So, you know, it's not a good deal when you're dating and you're casually sleeping with someone and one person thinks you're in a relationship

and the other person thinks you're not. So, all I'm saying about that is, we all tend to do that. Like, just don't rush the sex if you can. And I'm not saying you need to wait three months or wait till commitment. I'm just saying, practice dating a few people, nothing wrong with that. Or maybe you make out heavy petting as my mom always says. But you just, you don't have to sleep with them yet because even when you get a tattoo,

that was really hot. And then you're thinking about the sex and then escalate. So it's more like just, if you are just getting out of relationship or you just having data for a while, don't even have that goal of a relationship in mind, have that goal of just experiencing different people. Because through that, you learn what you like and what you don't like. For example, right now, I'm looking for a new assistant. And I've interviewed a lot of people because I know this time, it has to be like the right.

You know, it's like, I spend more time in my system than I would in a relationship. And you haven't slept with any of them yet? Nope, not yet. But what I've learned from it is, I'm learning what I want by each one I interview, and even the things that they're telling me, like I'm learning from them, like what they did at their jobs,

I'm like, oh, I want that, I don't want that in personality types, and it's the same with dating. So, does that make more sense? It does, but I think a steam also has a lot to do with it. And ladies, you need to know that there's plenty of guys out there and don't just jump. Emily is very lucky in the sense that a lot of people want to be her assistant so she can keep going through

until she finds the right one. I think a lot of ladies and guys too, though like find somebody who is into them or interested in them at all. And they're like, this is the best I can do. And they just hold on for good reason. Exactly. That's true too. And then that makes you very unattractive to the other person as well.

So it's a self-fulproposive. When you get clinging, that's true. It is true. And I believe it's limitless. If you do have that limiting belief that there aren't a lot of options, I mean, you say I do have a lot of options. I mean, it's honestly because I always believe it.

I don't even think it's because I did, but I grew up with self-confidence. My dad was always like, you're so beautiful. You're so smart, you know, but then he died young and then the abandonment issues from him. Death, his death, that's not a thing. But I think that everyone should, you know, if you don't have high self-esteem right now, which is a full-time job and I'm telling you, we don't all have it across the board, but, you know, work on yourself because the truth is no one needs to settle. And the more that you date, it's actually you're doing yourself a favor because you're like, oh, I didn't know a guy could be like this.

There's like the women who only date assholes. And they're like, why do I keep doing this? Well, have you ever dated a nice guy? You know, they think in their mind that they wouldn't be attracted, but you just might be. Or guys, you know. Dr. Drew have heard him say plenty of times, butterflies, not lightning bolts.

For those girls who are constantly going after guys that are exciting, but their assholes, and they end up like, you know, leaving them and doing bad things, go for the guy that's more like a butterfly. Like that doesn't make your heart race. Exactly. It doesn't make you nauseous when you see him. It's almost like going on a dating diet. It's true. And it'll work out a lot. It will work out. I've seen it. I'm living proof of it. It is true. The ones that start off really hot and heavy are really tumultuous, like up and down, up and down. Typically it doesn't work out.

And another thing, and he was just like, your picker's broken, that's another thing Drew says. And it is kind of true. So you can kind of reverse that attraction thing, like just because you think this is the kind of guy you want. And it's almost like if you meet that guy or that girl that reminds you, like this is like every girl a day, turn the other way.

Like really? Like the second you see that guy, you're like, ah, he's, no, like that's a sign to say, you know what, I'm gonna try to switch my pattern. So much fun though, so much fun. What? I ended up settling with a butterfly and she's great, but I made sure that there was some lightning bolts in there

because that's just what I need, you know, that's what I needed. So we had a very tumultuous like three or four years before we sorted everything out. And that was all my doing. She was great the whole time. But yeah, it's really fun to have the crazy relationships when you're young. But then it gets a point guys, especially if you wake up 15 years later and you're

still in it. Get out. You don't want to be in that crazy unhealthy situation. So I just think it's good to, and especially when you're younger and you're anytime, 20s, 30s, if you just go full one person to the next, you're not really going to learn what you want. And this is the other thing I was going to say is grow in your, anytime, 20, 30s, if you just go from one person to the next, you're not really going to learn what you want. And this is the other thing I was going to say is

they always say in business, which I always did the opposite. They always say you should hire slowly and fire quickly. And I always hire really quickly because I'm always like, oh my God, I'm growing. I need someone, I need someone. And then I like, oh, but I'm so busy to fire them. So right now I'm hiring really slowly. And I'm, like I said said I think the same thing applies

dating. Don't get into it too fast. What's the goddamn rush? Thinking of all the people that work for you that might be listening to this. You're now hiring slowly and I get to start firing quickly as well. Well, is that next? No, I love everyone who works for me now. I've got like these amazing interns that just started in Madison is just rocks my world. So no, I love them. They know I love them. But what I'm saying is, I'm not bringing anyone in until it's the right match. It's so easy to hire quake and fire slow. Right.

But it's not comfortable to do one of the other. I'm not going with the firing and I'm also learning how to be a better manager. And also, you know what life is all about, which is so hard, which is philosophically this is just something I think we all go through, is figuring out what you want. And you think that would be so easy? Like what do you want? How do you picture your life? How do you picture the perfect relationship?

Have you ever written it down? Like have you ever written down? These are my non-negotiables. Like they have to be kind, They have to have a good job. They have to be tall. I don't care if you do physical things in there. You don't want to get 100 point list. There's got to be some things that you know that you need to partner.

You want to be emotionally stable. You want them to cook. I don't know what the hell it is. But if you write that down and you really think about it and you have that list and you read that list, it'll help you when you're dating. This person and you have that list and you read that list. It'll help you when you're dating. You're like, this person has nothing on this list. There's nothing here.

But sometimes it's hard to stop and think like, because I feel like even with work, if you talked to me 10 years ago when I started the show, I would want what I have now. I would be really happy, but yet I'm there and I'm like, you know, you know, I've always moving forward. But you know, in life, you just got to, you got to lay, especially with dating though I think it's good to think about and that's why summer is a great time date. I'm wearing a y But this interesting happened to me. I was just gonna share the story because this is just another dating epiphany. I had that So I went out with this guy. I met him actually in person and we went out

I met him. I was at a friend's birthday party, which let me just be honest. She's a good friend, but I have been working really hard lately. Like I was doing a double. You were working double? I'm working so hard, but like double hard. And I went to a friends' birthday party, which I was like, oh, it's like Friday night. You didn't want to at all, but it was duty. It was duty. I did it because I really like her, and I thought, you know what, go out.

Like you haven't gone out. And I went out and I ended up She's great friends. We went to Lakwa where they have these free and in LA the LA Museum of art My nurse Lawson's thank you On the miracle mile the great place. It is a great place. So on Friday nights in the summer. They have free jobs, do you know this? Not my scene night. You're seeing not scene, either, I'd never been. You bring blankets, you bring wine, it was a birthday, it was really fun, and it was fun.

So I met there and I had a really great friends, and then afterwards we went out for sushi, and her friends were in town from somewhere, and they had their friend who lives in LA, come eat them, so this guy comes to meet them. So that's how it happened. It was like, he wasn't even with us at the beginning of the night.

And I met him and he was super cool and cute, attractive. We started talking and he's like, got my number, ask me out, we went out, or no, he came over. Which was kind of interesting because we had been texted, we texted one to twice, he's like, oh, I'm just gonna come over, he's like, what are you doing? I'll come over and I'll bring wine and scrabble

because we're talking about scrabble. And I was like, cool, okay. So we had a really and he's like, oh, I'm just going to come over. He's like, what are you doing? I'll come over and I'll bring wine and scrabble because we're talking about scrabble. And I was like, cool, okay. So we had a really came over. This was like two weeks ago. We go. And we had a really nice day. Like he's really cute. We talked a lot.

He's interesting. He's smart. We had chemistry. We never played scrabble. Yeah, of course. Scrabble is a ruse to get in. It was a true story. Totally a new thing.

And then part of me, here's another thing all day. I was like, didn't even have the gravel. No, he thought I did. But all day long I was like, why am I letting this guy dictate what we're doing? And I don't want to get coming to my house, sex with Emily, then all this stuff goes to my head. Like, does he?

You didn't know if he knew. Yeah, no, he did know, because we talked about it. So I'm like, I'm sure he's listening to the show. And I've run into problems with the guys I date. When I'm dating him who listen to the show, because they assume that something happens and I'm talking to them and I'm not. I'm dating who listen to the show, because they assume that something happens and I'm talking about them and I'm not. I'm like, please don't listen.

You should have been the bank CEO of Sex Talk. What? You should have just like never let anyone see you or know what your voice is like. I know, right? I should have hidden from them, but I can't. So who knows if he listened or not, but we had a really nice time, good connection made up.

And when he was leaving, he said, I'd really like to see you this weekend. And I said, okay, he's like, where you're around? I said, yeah, I got time here and there. He said, great. really like to see you this weekend. And I said, okay, he's like, well, you're around? And I said, yeah, I got plant time here and there. He said, great. And that was last week. And then the weekend came and he texted me to ran with him and Saturday.

And then I didn't hear from him. He wasn't like, do you want to get together? So in my mind, and he left his jacket at my house, which was not one of those like purposeful things. But he did. I know he really go is on purpose, but I don't think it was. So then I thought, I think.

I left his jacket, but then I bring the scrabble. Didn't bring the sc it was. So then I thought, I think, I'm, but then I bring the scrabble. Didn't bring the scrabble. So then I thought to myself, okay, you know, then I think at first you're thinking, well, we had a good time, we asked for the weekend and I'm kind of like, and in your mind, what we do when this happens, women, especially, we're like, ah, is it because I said this or said that

or we saw something weird or we didn't like the way at kids because we made out, or he has a girlfriend, or you know, you do, and I'm not saying I did all those things because I'm actually so busy that I didn't have time to over analyze the situation. That's why you're really good because you don't like to deal with those thoughts. Yeah maybe. But I did just think okay well I just gotta get this jacket back but just listen to my story and then I'll make my point. So I assume all these things and I was like okay I just gotta get the jacket back and I am so in the mind of a man thinking, he's popping 90 and wants the jacket back. It's a nice coat.

I'll just text him and say, I'll leave it for you. You're awesome. You know, you're friends. But then I get a text from him last night and he says, I'm in your neighborhood. Is it okay if I stop by just for a little bit? No, I don't want to like, nothing,

don't want nothing like sex, something that we ever had sex to do. He's like, I just want to see you. I'm like, if you want your jacket, it's here. He comes over and we sit down and I'm like, so what's up? You know, hey, you got your jacket, did you just want your jacket?

Cause you can just, you know, jacket, jacket. He's like, no Emily, he's like, I, I said, we were gonna get together again. I said, what's the deal? He said, well, I had a really good time, you know, with you. And I wanted, I thought about you every day and I wanted to call you, but I actually thought,

I think I like you, I think I could really like you. But I don't think that I'm ready, I wanna release you, I don't know what I want. And I was kind of nervous to see you again because he had gotten out of a relationship and wasn't sure. So he was hoping for a casual encounter. And then when he realized that he could be more,

he got scared and backed off. Yes. And then something about Jack and it, or Jacket. The Jacket, because I got the same jacket. So, You're pants and Jacket. Mm-hmm. And so it was not what I thought at all.

In my mind, I thought, not into me. And that's what it really is, what you thought. Well, that's my bottom line of the story is that it's never what we think. We always spend, and I think that men do it too and they don't admit it. Oh, can I tell you? Yeah. Have you obsessed?

There was one girl in particular and it really stands out and I really liked her for a long time from afar. Long story, it was a long story, but she, I ended up answering a phone call for my, as soon as my ex-girlfriend at the time who was a friend of hers and who was her friend asking. It was all this whole thing. I heard a message that was left for my girlfriend at the time who was a friend of hers and her friend asking. It was all this whole thing. I heard a message that was left for my girlfriend at the time and it was about the other girl asking about me. Long story short, we went out once. I was really into her. I loved the idea of going out there again. It was the olden days where we didn't

have cell phones. I remember sitting at home watching my phone waiting for her to ring. Every time I would ring it before my dad or something. It was sickening. It was awful. And it wasn't what I thought at all. It wasn't that she didn't like me. True story. And asshole who I knew from school told her that I had herpes and crabs and all this stuff. I've heard these kind of stories. And she got really scared.

And he told her about three sums that I had had and all this stuff. So she got scared. She liked me, but she's like, I don't need that in my life. Exactly. It was awful, but it wasn't what I thought. Right. So all the things that we were, exactly. And you don't suck.

And you've got to get together with her or not. No, it's tough. But what I'm saying is we spend a lot of time worrying about things in life that never come to fruition, and not just with dating, but with life. And most time, what we're worried about isn't even the thing that it's about, or that happens in our life.

And so like is it actually with dating or misconnections and you know we think we know what the issue is, we don't so really, I didn't even think about it again. I could feel like a day I was like, yeah. And now I don't know what I'm gonna- On to the next dude. On to the next dude. That's my point.

So just don't obsess about the stuff and when you're dating, and that's why it's also good to be dating several people because then you don't get all caught up in something after one date and With you know, that's a story. So who knows the guy I had any left He literally was at my house for like 25 minutes. I was tired. We didn't hook up anything I know what's going on your head to you're like I don't have time for this. All right, dude great Really like you like me to like me. I'm like I don't know

I know I'm on a relationship right now. Whatever you You're off. But the point is, yeah, like, don't forget your jacket. That's my moral of my story. That was just some things going on. But let's do a little sex. Oh, okay. Oh, no, we'll get to that. I'll do a little sex in the news. A sex education teacher takes students to adult novelty store. What? What are all these teachers? I have the greatest respect for teachers because they do not make a lot of money, they don't get a lot of respect. They rarely make poor decisions, but what the fuck? But the poor decisions they make are pretty bad, like, you know, sleeping with students. How old are these kids?

Okay, she took 12-year-olds to a novelty store in Minneapolis. Look at this. Oh, this is not good for the United States. In the Midwest, so she took a dozen middle and high school-age students to the smitten kitten. So she took a dozen middle and high school age students to the smitten kitten She wanted to provide a safe welcoming environment for students to learn about human sexual behavior She said she the field trip offered access to products that can be used to practice safer sucks And she said some students bought condoms parents

Lin Floyd 11 and 13 year old daughters were on the field trip Floyd says as a trip was a major breach of trust and withdrawing the children from the school this is a woman who a is a very stupid or bays she hates her job i don't even know or she's yeah i don't know that right yet not that bright is what i think or like just think but wait the one thing i can say to her she gets a plus for caring about sex education because most teachers don't but she gets like a

you know failing Know that the smitten kittens and the CD part of town. Oh my god She take them in a bus. I mean how anyway those dildos even I go in there like that you You know I kind of shut her when I go in those ways. I know I'm like, I really want to dildo that big so anyway not that bright but Didn't say she was fired yet. I'm sure she probably was okay So don't do that British woman. Jit don't take a kids there yet. I'm sure she probably was. Okay. Jesus. So don't do that. British woman don't take a kids there, but I do take my interns there. They're not children.

No, they're not, but that's a good feature. It's a good feature. I used to take them to blow job classes before I taught them. British woman jailed over loud sex. A woman in Birmingham, England, is heading to jail for two weeks because she had sex so loud it annoyed her neighbors. Gemma Whale, that's her name, became subject to she whales to anti-social behavior order, forbidding her from bothering her neighbors after they complained to the council that she

was making a rack in her apartment. Her age was not given, she had reportedly gotten into a loud fight with her boyfriend and had incredibly loud sex early in the morning. She was screaming and shouting whilst having sex it lasted 10 minutes. Wilds, I don't like that wilds. It's a British lady. Okay, but I, yeah, she went, I mean,

can you, have you ever had like roommates that had really loud sex? They live in flat, like in an apartment or a house. I guess that's a housing thing, I guess. I'm assuming. Because I mean, that makes a difference. Like if they got like a little side yard that buffers them from their neighbors.

It doesn't even say it's like an apartment building. Maybe she left her windows open. Close your windows if you're having that sex. But that's always a weird thing. That's why I'm so glad I'm in a guest house, but it's a no one can hear me. Well, you know, I've lived in apartments out here in LA. And really old apartments with the paper thin wall.

We've all had to deal with it. San Francisco. And I would just put on porn. I'd always put porn on really loud if they're having sex. It's gonna be obnoxious. And then I kind of felt bad about it later and I stopped doing it as I got older,

but he just kind of got with it. You gotta go with it. I had a shoot. And if you know the girl and she's kind of cute, it's kind of, hey, it's gonna sexy. And well, here's the thing in San Francisco. My neighbor, I'd paper thin old building, to my left, so there were six units,

till my left was lesbians, beneath me lesbians. Oh, you're like a lesbians, loud lesbians, and it was so funny, because one time my agent, who was very like agent like LA, he was in town and he came to my house to pick me up, he came up to my place, and he was there for like 10 minutes and he's like, what's going on? It was like slapping and moaning and yelling, he's like, that, it became up to my place. And he was there for like 10 minutes and he's like, what's going on? It was like slapping and moaning and yelling.

He's like, that's hot. Oh my God, that's my list. And that's the reason they were lying out. Yeah, I think it was the ones beneath me. They were like kinda into SNM, but they were hot lesbians. And he was like, this is awesome. Yeah, for great.

I'd rather, if you're gonna hear anyone, so it was great. Okay, let's get into some summer sex and dating. So, do you forget that feeling though? I mean, I know you're a married guy,. So, do you forget that feeling though, I mean, I'm your married guy, but do you remember when you were dating that it kinda just became, and I'm feeling this now, I'm like, all of a sudden, I'm ready to date.

It's a time to date, do you feel that? It's two times a year, yeah. I totally know what you're talking about. It's summertime and winter time. Both of those times. Spring and fall, they can go to hell. Exactly. But when it's really getting hot

and you're drinking and having a couple beers during the day, it's like a beach day, and then when it's like wintery time, too, when it's all cold and snuggly. Yeah, and you want someone to come inside and go. Yeah, those two times, good dating times. Exactly. And we're always hearing you read the magazines, like, getting shape, bikini shape, bathing suit shape,

and we're talking about skin and looking good, and that's part of it. But when you get beyond the superficial aspects, yeah, so be showing more skin, but you also want more sex and summers also the best time to date, which I will tell you why. So whether you're single or in a relationship, the summer can get super hot and heavy for you. So it's good news. Think and I also remember this is another reason when I was at Michigan, when I went to University of Michigan, it was like,

for again, we're in bondled up from November to April, like everyone's just in snow gear and like you're wearing hats and everyone's like pale and ugly, you just feel awful. And then there'd be this one day finally like in April where it was super sunny and everyone was outside of the midquad and the middle of campus and you're like where did all these hot, beautiful because you're just showing skin and we're like it was the best day ever and you meet people and you hook up and all that's great. So that tends to happen, you know, in the summer you're showing skin and we're like, it was the best day ever. And you meet people and you hug up and all that's great. So that tends to happen, you know, in the summer we're showing more skin, but here's the other thing.

There was a study, and it's a true study, so you can all know that this is the right time to do it. People are having the most sex and August with June and July coming in second and third. So this is the time. It's not just in your mind. According to a match.com survey, 73% of people find others more attractive during summer than any time of year. Pothic is a bit of a tan and we're showing skin again.

54% of respondents said they felt sexier during the summer time as well. And for all you guys, you have a little approach anxiety. 22.4% or over a fifth of women are more receptive to being approached and flirted with and giving out their phone numbers on sunny days and only 13% on cloudy days. So when it's sunny, ask for her number and approach her. Seattle screwed. I know it's always dark. Always going right. Looking up stats for months where most babies are born in the US. Uh huh.

So like you go back nine months. Right. And this is 2013. Newborns arrived in August more than any other month. So that means people were getting it on. What's nine months? Uh, that's December. December?

December. That's, this is 2013 though. Okay. Maybe during the year. It just because it doesn't mean maybe they met in the summer and then for six months they dated and then they got who the hell knows. And then second, third and fourth were July, October and September. So it's like all over the map.

But it doesn't mean that you're not, just because you're having more sex. It doesn't mean that you're getting pregnant though. That's true. It means that you're meeting people and that newness of a relationship that's starting. Or if you're already in a relationship. In the summertime you're having like outdoor sex and then you throw in your clothes and you have to like run back to the car and then you know it all comes out of you exactly You're not like sitting there like yeah, right now. Winter time you stay in bed after sex. Yeah

And so the thing here is that everywhere you look okay, there's sunglasses people wearing tank tops with love You know you see more flash and don't you think it's hotter like to see a woman in a sun dress Are you get the nipple slip like you don't get in the winter. Think of the foot fetish guys too, probably go out a lot harder in the summer. You don't know. A lot of flip-flops. There's not a lot of flip-flops. And the days are longer and there's less stress.

So summer for some people, not us, is less stressful. It'll just good for your libido, because less stress is better sex. People are exercising more. And you all know that when you exercise, if you've been feeling a little low and sluggish, you do feel better by yourself. You just do.

The endorphins, your bodies in shape, you want to show that body and you can, yeah, you get the endorphins and you feel good. And your hormones even start raging. So if there's a test show that 33% of men have more tests that don't end their body in June than they do in January. And it's because the sun. So research shows that increased exposure to vitamin D production, which causes, I was gonna say, causes skin cancer.

No, is causes by contestosterone. I was gonna say, then you could take a vitamin D, it's just a supplement, maybe you can get a little more testy there. Maybe you could get a little testy there, but I think you want the real thing. But yeah, you could. More testosterone equals higher sex drive, okay guys.

I'm just glaying out the facts for you that this is why. Also, the feel-good transmitter serotonin is produced more in the brain during spring and summer and sunlight and all that stuff. So those are like the reasons why your body's already for action and you're all randy and ready to go. Brandy. I don't know, I haven't heard that a while.

I didn't even skate by the mud. I like it. And now I'm going to tell you also some reasons why it's about a date and then some sex moves that you got to try this summer, but first, a quick word. I love you all for listening. And I love you all for listening because you probably want to better

sex in relationships. So if I ask you a question, answer me correctly. Answer me right. Answer me right. Be right. I'm here. What does that mean? Are you getting enough? Are you getting enough sex? I bet you'd love more. Well, Adam and Eve.com wants to give you more. Give you more reasons of sex. Give you better sex. They want to give you 10 free goddamn gifts. Wow. Dude, that's a lot of gifts. You get a sexy surprise for her, especially selected toy for him and third a little something that you will both enjoy, which sounds super hot. I don't know

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Oh, I was hoping you go there. It makes sense. People are freaking, all of a sudden, down under comfort is like taking off because, okay, so if you haven't heard me talk about it, it is a, we actually sold out of it last year at this time. This is when you get all sweaty. All of it, this is for men and for women, but we always say like it's called down under

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Who did I give it to? Oh, I did a great podcast a few weeks ago with, it was called like, Kinky, something sex with Sunny Megatron and her boyfriend, Kevin, and they freaked out about it because they never heard of it. And they're like, literally people who try it freak out. Because poor hygiene is the number one complaint

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I can't imagine that without it. So, go to Emily and Tony.com. And you get a free downer comfort until June 14th, when you buy a full size aroma therapy massage candle, use code open up. So buy one of my crazy amazing candles that I've told you about.

Also, you can just, if you just want the down-and-or-confort, use code Emily and get 20% off your first order. That's Emily and Tony.com. Open up if you want code, if you want a candle down under, or if you just want down under, use code Emily. And then we're sweating. You guys have been hearing about both for a long time now Yeah, the open up. I like the the the combined What it was promotion there, right?

Little promise and they're both the one. I mean you talk about Adam and Eve you talk about these other ones But this is actually me this is my baby and I'm proud I'm proud because our products are like vegan and awesome and they smell good and people freak no animals get hurt No animals get hurt. We will not kill any animals, hard animals. Okay. You do bang them up for research, no? No, but who was I talking to that? What?

No, he doesn't, oh, now it's on the Jason Ellis show. Oh, yes, I can see that. He watches a lot of BCL, BCL, BCL, he's important. He was really into it. I can see that. I was like, oh, he's like, you dodged me like that. I actually don't dodged anybody.

Jason Ellis is a live wire who has a show on XM radio or serious, right? XM doesn't even exist anymore, right? The call is serious, XM. And he's an Australian mate and I love him. He's a very likeable guy. How do you not like that guy? I love him. Wait a good time.

He has an actual human face in full like actual size tattooed on the top of his head. He does. He's tattooed everywhere. Human face. So like if he looks down, it still looks like he's looking at you. I didn't know that. It's terrifying. I didn't even seem look down.

Wow, he looked down. Here on the room. Oh, yeah, he was sweet. OK, so also let's talk whether they did anything. I'm saying I'm a lot. You know when you learn and read, you're like not Sam. No, I never learned that. Was it early on?

But I feel like. Where do you learn? You went to the radio school. No, I didn't. But here's the two things I learned about radio, where do you like? You went to the radio school. No, I didn't, but like, here's the two things I learned about radio, which was nothing. I did a podcast for six months, just for fun.

And then they're like, do you want to do a live radio show? Who's that? CBS Radio in San Francisco, free FM. Yes, free FM. Oh my God, do you remember? Free FM? Oh yeah, it was everywhere. We had it out here, it was where Stern was.

Hard Stern, and now- My first radio gig ever was running and producing a show on free FM. Okay, so you got it. For all the best. Scott for all the best. I was freaking out. I used to, they literally threw me into a studio. I loved it back at night.

Big time. It was a big time thing. I just like, Talk radio on FM was like the shit back then. Right. It still is. I know. Well, it didn't work, but I was there for three years.

It didn't work, but what do you do every Thursday night? I love line. That's FM talk, bitch. That is FM talk. You're right. I love it. I love FM talk. It didn't work, but what do you do every Thursday night on a level line? That's FM Talk, bitch. That is FM Talk. You're right. Oh my God, I love it. I love FM Talk. It is the best.

So I got thrown into the studio and the only thing they tell me was like, think about one person that you're talking to, right? You should think of your one listener. I'd never got any of this shit. Okay, because it was a live in call show. It was a call, first of all, I'm giving advice. Call in show, right?

Call in show. Live call in show. But sometimes you like pretend the phone's break down. No one calls you. You have to always do something to say and just think about that one person. Who was this person? Do you remember his name?

He was a program doctor who soon got fired. I don't like him, I don't think. And then they said, you know, you just, well, you just know you shouldn't be like, um, but what, what, what, and then I literally think I got rid of the arm, but it just came back and I was noticing him. Don't do that.

I'll let you know if you do any more arms, okay? I'm gonna point out to you. Don't ask me to cut them, because I'm not gonna do that. Oh, and then I've always talked really fast. Yeah, you gotta slow that down. And that's like, when I get feedback at sex with MO.com emails, and you're like, I'm talking so fast, I gotta stop talking so fast,

you're talking with too fast. Am I right now? You're fine. But people say you talk too fast. They can't keep up. That's them, not you. My teachers are that to me in third grade when I was reading, so I feel like I've done my best. You gotta know what non-see it. You's them, not you. My teachers are that to me in third grade in when I was reading.

So I feel like I've done my best. You got to what none see you. You give Frank Sinatra, is slow and steady measured. Especially when you're good at not good information. And I'll catch you like if you say something and I couldn't understand you, and I want to hear. No, no one else can.

I'll let you know, yeah. So I just want you all to know that I know that I talk fast and I'm really working on slowing down 10 years later. Yes you are. Anyway, I was a joke, that was a joke on my dude. Super nice, really slept right in there. And that was fun. OK, according to online dating service Zeus.com,

I don't know, they keep popping up on my Facebook. It's so Facebook ads are so annoying, but they say 64% of single men expect to spend more on dating during the summer than other seasons. More time dating, more money on. Yeah, so you know, you got for some good dinners and the majority of women 68, however, say they prefer low key less expensive dates.

And let me tell you the truth, but I agree. And there are some women who are like, I want the lobster, take me to the nice place, but I really don't care if a guy's taking me to a fancy place and has a really nice car. I just have a plan. I don't care if we're going to free jazz, we're going to the park, I don't care.

I'm gonna tell you. Yeah, a really nice restaurant. If you have shitty companies, it's gonna be terrible. Yeah, yeah, I don't care about that, but the men want to spend more. So, you know, it depends what kind of person you are. The truth is, you don't need a lot of money to have a date night, a good fun time.

You go to concerts in the park, like I mentioned. There's free all the time, lacma, like I mentioned, or wherever you live. I'm sure there's free movies they play. You can take long leisurely walks. The weather is made for it. Beaches, lakes, rivers. I do still think that men think they have to spend a lot of money in a big plan. Don't you think that's still the common wisdom?

And I'm here to tell you that women don't necessarily want that. I think if guys have the money to flash, I think the first year they're going to. And that's true. A lot of the reason why they got work so hard to get that money to flash is so that they could. Then they're attracting a certain type of woman, but maybe that's the one they want.

That's true. Okay, and for all the couples, it's more important to take more effort to go on dates, too, Anderson. Because Netflix will be there when the weather gets colder. You know, married people in relationships should also go on more dates. The perfect time to do it.

You know what? On road trips, weekend activities. I do, I do. Just last week, I'm like, hey, I was on Memorial Day weekend. And it was really cold and windy and kind of rainy out here, which is very rare for us. Right. So I'm, hey, I don't know, I usually work

a love line Sunday nights, so I'm like, hey, I'm going to go out on a date and she jumped at it. So I took her down to the pier and said, I want to appear. And I don't know if I've ever seen that many human beings in one place at one time. I don't know what the fuck was going on, but we immediately went home and turned on Netflix. Did you roll up? Yeah. It was just you couldn't park.

It was crazy. Actually, we stopped an Italian joint. At least you may have an effort. Yeah. Dude, it was something nice. Yeah, she jumped at it and she, yeah, guys, if you're married, still trying to take the wife. I gotta still do it because you all you fall into a rut. And if you have fallen to a rut, this is the time to do it

in the summer because long days longer sex. So one of the best parts about summer, besides the weather, is the long days. Take advantage. Get all your errands done in the morning, cheat yourself to an afternoon delight. This is time. And so hot weather sex positions,

this is what I want to talk about. So sometimes it's really friggin hot. And you're like, I don't want to be all sweaty, I don't want to be all gross. So you could try anything that involves, you know, least amount of body contact, you could do, you could do, you know, positions that require like dog, you know, doggy style, spooning,

anything involved with laying against the cold kitchen counter. Do something different that will cool you down. So here's one of my favorite moves is ice play. I am such a fan of the massage and the blindfold. So I'm not saying you got it all kinky and weird here, but listen, no one's ever gonna turn you down if you try to give a massage. Hey, by when I massage candles, which when you blindfold your partner, you could put some ice cubes in your mouth.

They don't know what's coming next because they're sense that can't see it. You put ice cube in your mouth and you take it down their chest, their stomach and you let it in your teeth and you just drip it down their body. And it feels really cool. And then you can follow with some warm oil on their body, hot cold sensations feel great. But also the chill from the ice mix with the heat from your mouth provides them very thrilling sensations, especially during oral sex.

And this goes both ways, I promise. You can take turns, you don't have to use a blindfold, and you can just bring a button of ice to the bed and trace ice around each other's body. And below on the areas. Blindfold also like build a level of trust. Yeah, exactly. I like the bites. You like five year old blindfolded?

Blindfold on. Yeah, I'm sure I have, but like I do a camp every summer with kids. And one of the first things I know this is wrong, I realize after I open my mouth that you know, making a sure I have, but like, I do a camp every summer with kids. And one of the first things I know, this is wrong. I realized after I open my mouth that, you know, making a connection with this, but we do a trust walk with the kids to build trust between the two of them where, like, you know, we'll have a kid blindfold and then another kid that they barely know,

like walks them through part of the, the forest and where we're in, like around trees and stuff. And it does wonders for the relationship. And then they feel like they can trust each other. Exactly. Now, this is like taking taking a step further in adult land. But if you haven't been together for that long and you got to hot and cold,

then there might be a little element of fear there. Right. And do I trust them? And there's also an element of like, yes, there's trust. And then there's like excitement because you don't really know what's happening next. And whenever you take away one sense, like eyesight, for example, then all your other senses become more heightened

So like the ice and the heat feel just extra special like that restaurant they have about here It's pitch black and I think it's called opaque and you can go and you eat a full meal and it's pitch black in the restaurant You can't see I don't even know this I want all the way to the waitresses are blind Yeah, oh, I have heard about this I have It's a great date place, but yeah, okay. You have to be one of the guys with money. Schedules some naked time during the day with your partner just being in the buff can make regular activities like washing the dishes and doing a lot of your more fun.

Do you ever just walk around naked with your partner or maybe like wear a little sexy something. Some women just don't want to or men. But you can wear something. Close the blinds, okay. Close the blinds. Okay, so here's something else. Next time you're going out with your partner or some guy on a date that you've been dating

or your husband or whatever, throw on a sundress and skip the panties and then like, you know, whisper in zero that you're not wearing any panties. I'm not wearing any panties. I'm telling you that works every time. That just gets your mutt. That's like four-play. That's already the guy don't have to do anything to add. It's starting.

It's pretty naughty. It's kind of hot though. Gry your man crazy. Just saying panties. Girl saying panties. I don't like the word panties. I know. That's why it's good. I don't like the word vagina, but I have to say them all the time because it's part of my job. And they go together. You can also just not even whisper it. You can casually slip your panties into his pocket during dinner. You know, panties are used to cover vaginas. I know. It's so bad. No, really. Try something like, these cover the genus. I know, it's so bad. No, really, try something like,

these are the funny ones. So I remember when summer was so fun, when we were young, you can still make it fun. Like, remember that lasted forever, but now I know we all work and have jobs, but you can still enjoy the long nights in the, you know, in the weekends or even after work. Shower sex, perfect hot day attraction.

Contrary to proper, popular belief, cool water heats up your sex drive and it increases testosterone levels of men which will boost your libido and it stimulates circulation. I don't really recommend pool sex people love pool sex because you got chlorine bacteria and not good for the vagina. I said it again. It's a bad place for vaginas in general. So I would, but you can still like hang out and pull and then have like sex next to the pool. And you can also buy a waterproof toys.

Not a public pool. Not a public pool. We vibe tango, 100% waterproof, great for external literal stimulation. It's one of my new faves. For wet blended orgasm, you can try the fun factory Amorino. I just did a review on this a few weeks ago.

I forget to love this toy. Fun Factory makes these really, it's fun toys. It's all like it's fun. I like the name. I know. It has this little, it's one of those like G-Spot Rabbit toys it looks like, it has a Cliddle and G-Spot. And it has this band on it, right?

This yellow band that you can move around, but it transmits the vibrations on the band while it's inside you, so it's hitting inside of your vulva, your vagina, if you will, all the nerve endings, like, it's just the coolest toy. It's like something you see like a robot put in a keyhole, like in a futuristic movie,

and it's just spinning around. Yeah, it's exactly. And then you see the vibrations, right, yeah. It's like constant vibrations in places that you don't normally have those constant vibrations if you know what I mean. Naturally, you want to just try it.

Amorino. Is there a person? Amorino. Who actually, that's their sole job is to name these sex toys? Yeah, I'm sure. It's one of their many jobs. Yeah, I don't know, named it,

but it's a good toy and it's that fun factory. And you can probably get it out of an eve. And if you can't, you can probably get a good vibes. Go to my website, click on the banner. I'm wherever you can get these toys, you know? Amorino. Yeah, AMORI, I love them. I love their chargers.

Like I love everything about them because they say fun on them and they're magnetic. They say fun? And they just charge anywhere. You just tuck into the vibrator, recharges, and swatter proof. Wait a minute, what? It's a magnetic charger plugged into the wall.

And then you just put it on the vibrator and it just, like, it's, Oh, it's like a charter plugged into the wall. And then you just put it on the vibrator, and it just, like, it's... Oh, it's like a little thing on there, it just lays flat and you put it on top of it. It's like, click it in, right? Yeah. There was an ad for something like that,

like, seven, eight years ago, and the ad campaign was great. It was like, people saying, what the fuck is that? But they bleep the fuck. I don't only sell the ad twice, and then it went away, and I've not heard of this type of charging again since. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm really into vibrators. I'm really into like the the technology now they're made and I just I like them. So try it out.

Loub, if you are going to be in water or the shower having sex, you think water is Loub. No, it's not. So use a silicone lube. It makes it keeps things slick and slippery even when it's wet in wet situations like the like the shower. I like pure PJ UR silicone lube or shower jerk lube is a new lube. It's shower jerk.com and it's made just for jerking off in the shower. What the hell? I know not a great name, but you know, hey. What does it say right on it? And then I can come stand in my buddy's house and I get in there and I go, geez, it's Jimmy. Buy the pier then, buy the pier silicone.

I'm a huge fan of silicone, Leo Berli, so you guys should all buy that. And um, shower jerk. Hey, what was the, the, the pure, how do you spell that? Why do you go to, DJ you are, how does that spell pure? It's German. PJ you are.

I think, yeah. Sounds French. Pazure, are you sure it's not Pazure? It's Pazzer. I was saying pure, but it's pure I'll tell you why you tell me you are yeah, I know it's not the best I'm a strange spell and sex skin like the The condom you talk about love those guys SK why in it's the friggin mom now I'm looking this up like Do I am I wrong? It's SK why and and they oh here's the other interesting thing about it, is that... Pure skin.

People, a lot of women are allergic to latex and you can actually develop a latex allergy, so the more latex you use, you get the allergies, so you might not have had it. Yeah. And then if you have the teleguy, hey, I have a latex allergy, you're going to think it's because you have so many condoms inside you at all times. Yeah, exactly. So just buy skin because they are poly isoprene, which you don't have to remember that name, just know it's not latex. And it's like really feels good and they're thin, but they're super durable.

And they're like slogan is like next to wearing nothing, which is a good slogan, but it actually is true. Can't explain it love them. I've never like been in love with a condom, but I love these condoms because I use condoms and so should you. Right. Do time for an email, we're gonna get some emails.

That's my summer sex inspiration for you all. I like it. Yeah. It makes me yearn for the summer. Because I'm one of those people, and I think a lot of people who are listening could probably relate, like whatever season it is, normally I'm yearning for the other season.

Right. Like if it's super hot, especially if we live in something California, I live in a pocket that like, you know, it's 100 plus for weeks on end at times, and I'm just going, oh, I wish the winter was here. But when I actually take a step back, I realize when winter comes, I'm going to be,

you know, missing these things. Jones, and for some reason. Enjoy the season you're in. Enjoy it. And enjoy it. And enjoy it because also this is the time to be having sex as all the research studies. So if I put, I'm just trying to plant this

in your mind that you're like, okay, either I'm in a relationship or I'm wanting to be in a relationship. This is the time when everyone's open to it. They're open to sex, they're open to dating. I just gave you some ideas. And another thing I want to say is that just I have no fear when it comes to this stuff. Start saying yes. I did this so a few years ago I was on a reality show. I'm Bravo. My wife watched it. She did? Yeah, she knew of you before. Did you ever tell me this? I probably not.

I don't sweat the details. Interesting. She's like Emily from when I first started working with you. She's like, oh yeah, I used to watch a reality show that she was on. Yeah, so it was on Bravo. You can download it. I don't know, Karen.

It's actually a good show, whatever, called Miss Advice. But the point is that, you know, they have the little, you probably don't watch really TV, but it's the beginning. No, I don't. It was, Emily says yes to everything, because that was my thing. I said, I was like, just say yes, say yes to dating except monogamy.

That was my thing. That was not where I was at. That was about right. Yeah, but it was funny, because I really wasn't this period, and I'm back to it now. I'm like, every time I think I don't want, like for example, go to my friends party,

meeting this guy who knows what'll happen, but I just like, I gotta wanna go. And I do that a lot, I make excuses. But whenever I just, like, yes, I'm gonna go to this party or the social thing, because a lot of us have like social anxiety, we'd rather be home, like that's our comfort place. I force myself to go out and I,

I've never said why I go out tonight. I've always been a city people. It's rare, it's rare that you do force yourself and then you're like, ah, I made a horrible decision. But all it takes is that one time and then you start putting on the skids again. Yeah, exactly. Just keep doing it and keep pushing.

Get out of the rut. Get out of the rut, peeps. Okay, that's all right. Anyhow? Yeah, any mail. You feel better about that? Boom, let's do it. Dear Emily, I love this show.

Oh, feedback at secretatm.com. I love hearing from you. And when you email me, it would be so awesome if you tell me your name and where you're listening from and how old you are. Sorry, I thought you were reading the email. I remember, no, I went back to that because I wanted to listen to it. It sounded like you were reading it. I started it in a way back.

I know you guys are my ADD. I'm sorry. Dear Emily, I love this show. Here's my question. I'm in an on-again, off-again relationship. Red flag, I know, but I love my girlfriend. She has some emotional troubles and she often runs and secludes herself, feeling like breaking up with me and will solve issues within herself. She's such an intelligent person in many ways, but clearly now when it comes to relationships. What can I do?

I don't want her to leave, but I'm running out of patience. Thanks Mike. It doesn't say where old he is. I just want to know where you're from and how I draw. But Mike, here's a thing. And how long the relationship is from now on this day? you're from. But Mike, here's a thing. And like how long the relationship is from now? Yeah, I'd say no, it's so hard because I wish we could take

collar so many variables. I know. But you've to understand that you, I love your girlfriend. You love your girlfriend. I understand that. And you want to stand by her. But you have to consider your own emotional well-being. Because it sounds like this is a woman who's having

emotional instability and she's got to do work on herself. So this is a universal for anybody in a relationship. If you think that you can save someone, change someone, you know, that that one day, you know, if then once she gets this, once she gets the job, once she gets, oh, she'll be such a good girlfriend or once he, you know, gets his act together, no, no, no, they have to want to do it. They have to make effort. You want to see them making changes towards progress.

It's not that you're not going to be able to save them. So I would say she's got to get in some therapy mic because that would show me that she really cares about taking it seriously or just talking to somebody. And it feels probably really like you might be one of those guys you're nurturing and you like to save people and it feels like she needs you But she might not even be in that place to like appreciate it or take it in So I would say give her a little bit of space for a while and see what happens because you're gonna be in this rut because you said it's off again

On again and you're right that is a red flag you write. Yeah, red flag. I know But let me tell you this usually when we break up with someone, there's a reason for it. And usually we get back together. It's because we only remember the good thing. Is there, we love this person. The sex was great. We had great times and Saturday nights.

Oh, we met last summer and now it's summer. But when it's off and on and off and on and off and on, it's a pattern that just, unless there is some significant steps that you're both making to correct it, it's not gonna work out. So I gotta say to you, okay, time for one more? Yeah, yeah, go.

Okay, dear Emily, I have a situation and would like to know what to think of, what you think of it. My man wants me to pee on him every time we're together and it's fine with me, but I'd like to understand the need of this. I ask him why it's so important for him. He says it turns him on a lot.

Then recently asked me to enact SNN with him, and he wants me to be the mistress. I'm totally fine trying new things, and I enjoy sex with him. The only reason I'm asking is because I feel like there's more behind it than the pleasure fact. I don't know if this will help there's more behind it than the pleasure fact. I don't know if this will help you, but his job is also very demanding. He's a surgeon and has a very stressful job. I don't know if that means anything. Thanks for your help, Anne.

He's a dick. No, the thing is, these fantasies are common. So your filial fetish paraphernalia revolving around individual feelings, actually excited by urine, your finilia. It can stem from usually a lot of fetishes, stem from a formative childhood experiment, childhood experience that happened. And it could also be his high stress job.

They always hear about the guy who's in this job and they just wanna be submissive in the bedroom. But he wants her to be the mistress. What does that mean? He wants her to be dominant. Because he doesn't, he wants her to be the mistress. What does that mean? He wants her to be dominant because he doesn't want responsibility. I thought it was the other way around. And he wants her to pee on him.

And he wants... I thought he was peeing on her. Yeah. I think he was peeing on her. Oh yeah. See, I thought that he was peeing on her and I thought that... No, no, no. He wants her to pee on him.

Okay, okay. And he wants her to take control and like... I thought that was just a domineering bastard. No, no, no. When I heard Sergin on my go be like, I thought that was just a domineering bastard. When I heard surgeon, I'm like, oh no, because they're usually a little sociopathic. Why do you think so? Surgeons? Oh, it's a no.

Doctors in general have a surgeon. Yeah, especially the surgeons that can cut into like kids and stuff, which needs to be done. And it's really important. But usually the ones that like, you know, they're willing to, you know, hey, if we lose this one, let's move on to the next. Really, you think they're that cut third about it,

and they're not even like, they're emotional? Same with anesthesiologists, yeah. I got a lot of knowledge about the internet. Can you talk about this after? Yeah, I'll see you later. Good, no, we need to. At the end of the day, it could be a type of hard job, it could be a formative, you know, experience a child

where it was like so traumatizing, like maybe so impede on them, but then it somehow got, the wires got mixed and it becomes like a sexual thing. But it doesn't really matter why they turn them on and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with him. Or he's untoward to unstable. It just means that this is what it rouses him.

My question for you is, are you okay with his fantasies? So you seem open and I say you tried if you love this guy, if you can get into it. But if not, you gotta be honest and explore other activities that can bring both pleasure. So for example, you could try ping on them. You can try like taking an S and M going to a store, a local store, buy some whips, watching some videos, go into a dominatrix class. You can learn all that stuff.

Listen to my shows, they're dominatrix. But if it doesn't turn you on, doesn't work for you. And this could be a deal breaker from because when people have like fetishes like this, it doesn't work for you. And this could be a deal breaker for him, because when people have fetishes like this, they don't typically go away. But I say try it. I'm not gonna say he's weird, I'm not labeling it as anything. If you enjoy and he enjoys it,

because a lot of times you might get off on it, because you see what you're doing turns him on, and then you guys are gonna be great. But if you're not, then you gotta discuss it and find something to replace it, or see find what turns you want, and maybe you trade off. Do you got to discuss it and find something to replace it or see find what turns you want. And maybe you trade off.

Do you know what you want, actually? Again, it comes back to my earlier topic of, do you know what you want in a partner? Do you know what you want, sexually? Do you know what you want in a job? Do you know? Do you know? And if you don't, think about it. So this could also give you some leeway to figure out what you want.

So maybe you need to be watching some more porn, reading a rataqa, figuring out what you want because there's no reason and what you can say, you know what dude, I'll pee on you, but I really want a friggin' massage and I want you to go down to me for an hour every day. Who knows? He knows what he wants. He's asking for it. Yeah, and I want you to ask for an. So do it. Try it. See what happens, but just keep your eyes open and make sure it feels good to you. So, because sex is a two-way street, baby. So, thanks for listening and thanks everyone

for writing and emailing me. Thank you, Anderson. What is going on with the Film Vault Podcast this week? Ah, good question. Thank you. Hey, it's a good one though. We had a couple weeks off, so last night we got back to it. I know we did top five films that are light on plot.

Plotless movies, movies without plot. Okay. Check out his podcast. Very interesting. I'm sure it was. They're always good. And we talked about tomorrow land. And Aloha, the new camera crew movie. Yeah. As well as the Frank Sinatra documentary that I highly recommend. I want to see that. Okay, thanks Anderson. I love you. Thanks for being here. And I love you all. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Oh, wait, sorry, back up. Follow me.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily across the board. You'll like it. I'm a good time in social media. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedbackitsexualemely.com. Okay, everyone.

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