Sex With Emily - Spitting, Swallowing

Episode Date: July 27, 2014

Emily and Menace are back in the studio and cover a lot of ground from body image to sexuality to learning to love the blow job, this Podcast is sure to educate and entertain you.The two catch up on recent developments, including Menace’s visit to the Taco Bell mecca and the blessed return of Emily’s Facebook page. Wondering what caused our three week Facebook hiatus? Emily explains her struggle with social media censorship.Also in the studio are Cyan and Nadya of Zivity.com, here to talk erotica, photography and body positivity, among other things. Zivity is an erotic photography website for real people, where models, photographers and fans alike can enjoy and appreciate the art they love.Zivity features beautiful photography with a  wide range of fantasies and scenarios. Want to know the most popular themes? The ladies of Zivity dish on the hottest sets, costumes and fantasies. And speaking of costumes- Emily and Menace’s Hamburglar debate comes back into play! Would Emily “Hamburglar-Suit Up” for her dream man? The answer is still... No!Cyan and Nadya talk issues with nudity in our society, including social media censorship and the “Free The Nipple” movement.Next the gang moves on to some listener emails! Emily and her trusty round-table advise a woman with a sensitive clitoris. They also help a listener conquer her dislike of semen so she can give her boyfriend the best BJ ever, which spurs a lively group discussion on spitting versus swallowing. In other news, anal pleasure month is coming - Are YOU ready? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, it's Emily from Sex with Emily. We got a great show today. We'll be answering your emails And we have the women from Zivity, which is a body positive sex pattern of a site We're gonna be talking about the free the nipple movement I'm here with menace, but first a word from our sponsors everyone. Thank you for listening to the show As you know, I love being able to help you have the sex life in relationships you deserve and I want to give you the best show possible So thank you for supporting our sponsors and I got to tell you the best show possible. So thank you for supporting our sponsors. And I got to tell you about promessant. Did you know one in three men suffers from premature ejaculation? But now you don't have to, because promessant is a quickly absorbing delay spray that allows

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Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I want to feel so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. You can listen to all of our podcasts, sign up our mailing list, which you should. Because we actually send out good emails, not those annoying emails that people send. And they're actually informative and entertaining. So check them out.

And you can also subscribe on iTunes. We do two shows a week, so you'll never ever miss another show again, which I know would be devastating. And today's show, I'm here with Menace, what up Menace? Hi, how you doing today? I'm great, it's so good to see you. You too. I'm Missio.

You doing all right over there with that phone? I love the phone. I actually feel at home with a phallic microphone in front of me, is that weird? I'm really excited to see you. You doing all right? I'm so excited. I love the phallic. I actually feel at home with a phallic microphone in front of me. Is that weird? I'm really excited to see you. I miss you. My heart misses you when I don't see you. I know.

I get excited. I squeal when I see you. It's crazy that we live in the same area once again, and we still don't see each other ever. I know, but you're always doing stuff, and I got things going on. I'm going to Comic Con tomorrow after work. I want to go.

I'm going to go for about a day and a half. And then I got to come back here and do another event at Six Flags. And yeah, it's crazy. And then I'm going to Vegas like twice and all this crazy stuff is going on. So I'm traveling all the time. Right.

This is your travel month of concert and stuff like that. Yeah, and work and stuff like that. Yeah, that's OK. How's everything going with you? Everything's really good with that. Yeah, and work and stuff like that. Yeah, that's okay. How's everything going with you? Everything's really good with me. Yeah, it's been fun. Okay, so I have to tell everybody something, near and dear to their heart on the podcast

that I always like talk about, talk about, just on the podcast, just jokingly. Not really jokingly, but yeah. Well, I do have a true love anyways. But yesterday you can check out on my Instagram menace on Instagram that I got invited to the Taco Bell headquarters And Irvine cow's this is like a dream come true Like so you want to go like the White House Niagara Falls No, no, I'm gonna talk about I get it and then they took me to the test kitchen and you know

Where they just test everything out and it was it was awesome was it a highlight of your life? It was everyone was really nice. Did it smell like tacos inside? No, it was like super clean. It's like going to, like, this thing of like one of the nicest like dot com offices in tune in San Francisco, just like that. Did they give you coupons or anything for free?

No, no, no, but it was just, it was mind blowing because again, it was like walking into like a, a Google or a Google or Twitter. Right. Right. I'm sure it looks pretty sophisticated. Yeah, that way. But like some background is that menace for about the last eight years has been talking

about the taco that he wants to read. The double-decker. It's the four alarm double-decker taco. It's just something like from when I was. But he's been tweeting them for years. Yeah, and like, like, years. Like, he's been a double-decker four alarm back. Yeah.

And then so they brought me in. Did you have a sit-down conversation with the CEO and say that was a really good taco? And I would like to know. Yeah, yeah. No, they were, they invited me back again. And then so they're getting all the ingredients so they can make it for me. It's crazy. Oh my god. It's really called the menace for alarm double. No, no. Why can't you? So no, I know. We should start a campaign. Yes. If you want a taco named after menace, you should tweet Taco Bell.

What's their tweet Twitter? Taco Bell, just talk about it. That would make sense. Amen. Amen. And I'm sexually at sexually and on Twitter. And I want to say, I'm very happy for you, menist. I think I saw you on Instagram.

I liked it. Yeah, you did. I was really happy. Actually, the second I was like, right, it was like last night. It's funny, because I've probably been talking about it for maybe five years on this podcast. Yeah, a lot. Yeah, and he's trying to get healthy. And remember that whole time you went on a health kick for like a week.

Yeah. You're only going to let you're going to work out. I was, but then I was like, no, I can't give up. And besides that, we went back to tacos and then he got us to go. And I was really like, I was really happy with him. Yeah, well, the whole thing probably came up because of what we're probably going to talk about later, not like this type of fetish, but it came like fetishes. And then I asked you, like, oh, would you be into a guy that want to like incorporate

it like Taco Bell into your... It was a hamburger, actually, from McDonald's stuff like that. That's how it all came to be. And then I told about my love for this sort of taco. Exactly. Right. Anyways. So I'm my love for this sort of talk. Exactly. Right. Anyways, so I'm really happy for you. Thank you.

That's a big accomplishment. I feel like you're really going places. Yeah, thank you. What's going on in your life? You know, there's been a lot going on in my life lately and doing a lot of writing, a lot of stuff we've been doing. I'm writing a new column for glamour. So every Sunday night, there's a sex tip on glamour.

It's a glamour.com under the sex thing and I've been writing. I did a really good one last, I have to say, because I's a sex tip on glamour. It's glamour.com under the sex thing and I've been writing. I did a really good one last time. I have to say because I get a lot of people liked it. So that's how you know in this world. I thought it was good but people could not like it but it was homework that you should do so you get to know your own body and that's on glamour and you should check that. But also I wrote this crazy piece for men's fitness. Ten signs are bad in bed. And literally I'm looking at it now got a million, like how many shares, like 14,000 shares on Facebook, 2.1 likes and then 1000 tweets.

So you guys check it out, men's fitness. It's also on my website, check them out. But it's interesting, it's four men, 10 signs are bad and bad, you didn't know, why is it so popular? Because I think I don't know who's sharing it, men or women, but it's really, there's some good signs here. That's great.

I've got to take a picture of the guy. Well, if you're still bad and bad menist after all the years, I'm not that. I'm not that. I'm not that. I just want to see how you wrote it out and everything. Also, people might have tried to go to your Facebook page and that's the air.

Okay, that's the big news. Yeah. Okay, so here's the deal. I talked about this a few weeks ago, and this is actually going to relate to our wonderful guests here from Zivity, and we're going to get to them. This lovely woman in a moment, is that I have this Facebook page, which as you all know, if you have a business, or you know, you're breathing in this world, you know, that Facebook is important to not only connect with your friends, but if you have a business, I use it to

also connect with, you know, with fans and listeners and we post content five times a day. The page was like, you know, I've had it for five years maybe, but it would have been taken off lately. We had like 5,000 likes a day for a week and it was going crazy and you know, it's not sexually explicit. We're not putting naked photos up, but there was a guy found out. What happened was I woke up one day, a few, three weeks ago, and it was a note from Facebook.

I logged on and said, your page has been unpublished. You can appeal it. And so I appealed it. I sent it an appeal. Like, please put it back up. I'm a doctor. I'm helping people. And I'm sure you're very calm about it.

I lost my mind. No, it was a good email. It was a good email. And so I just tried, I mean, I called, I didn't know what to do. I called friends, friends who worked at Facebook. And it turns out that there was, the day they took it down, there was an email from some woman who was in Iowa, I don't know what.

Not even like a fan of the page, but said, I find this photo offensive, it was like nothing. So they took it down. Then three weeks it's down. So I'm upset because this is like, for example, I did my big hustler workshop a few years ago, which was awesome. You know, you were talking about it. There's like 200 people there. And a lot of people who came said, what happened

to your Facebook page? That's how I know about you. Because people don't only listen to the podcast. Some people only follow me on Facebook or only follow me on Twitter. And so it was just, it was really upsetting. And so then the day we got it back up, like five days ago, the second I put it up, there were four messages from people. And they had the same thing. It was like, take ago, the second I put it up, there were four messages from people, and they had the same thing. It was like, take that, we find this very offensive, there's like a campaign from like conservatives. I get that happen to me all the time.

But about like because of the mornin' show that I do, I had like, you know, just random people. We were making fun of this guy, like basically shaming this guy who got caught having sex with the dog. And then like the dog community who didn't even hear what we were what we did. Right, people don't listen to the facts. They didn't even listen to it at all. They just said that we promoted having sex with animals in like animal cruelty,

which was not. People just wanted like they're looking for like a building. No, people like that's the thing these days. People are looking to be offended. Right. You know, and they didn't even go back to listen to what we said in, you know, how we think the kinds of sickle and all this kind of stuff. But they just wanted to like shut us down in all levels and like started calling advertisers

to like- It happens all the time. And no, yeah, we get calls to the rayosation saying, you know, I, I don't know why I'm calling, but this is why I'm calling. Right, because someone told them to call, and then we have the facts. And so I don't know what to do. I just now have just been reporting these people with spammers on my website.

Oh, nice. Well, I don't know what else to do. So, okay, so here's the action I'm for you people. My lovely amazing listeners that I love hearing from you all, and I read all your emails that you send to feedback at sexathamely.com. Is that goal-like by page? And check it out, because anyway,

it'll help get the momentum back up, because what Facebook does is now they scale, they don't release it, you know, only like 2% of the people who actually like it can see your posts. I have to build it up again. I had a crazy momentum, so like that. And then another thing, Menace, which is great thing you brought up on our last show, was that if people

like the show, amazing, if you just go to iTunes and let her view. And people did it. Man, I said that. I noticed. Yeah, I so appreciate that. And because you know, we years back, we started charge for the show. And people were so bad. And then trying to make a freaking living helping people with your sex life. So I sorry, it's charged for like five minutes. So we wanted people if you like it, because we knew we get thousands and hundreds of thousands of downloads that we just, you know, that's nice. So thank you. So thank you everyone for doing that.

Writing it out with us. And then also, what else? Yeah, and follow me Instagram and Facebook and Twitter, which is all sex with Emily, because it's all good stuff. And then I wanted to say to you, Menace, I don't know, anything else. I love you when I miss you. You're happy that I'm here.

Yeah. That's good. OK. Let's talk to our guests here from a hello. No. OK. So this is Sion Bannister, and Nadia Lev from Zivity. It's Zivity.com.

And Zivity, tell us about your site. Exactly. Because you guys were on the show before I cut you off and for you to answer. A few years ago, and we talked about our site, it's a really beautiful site, amazing photography, and you can go back and listen to that show, but tell me right now what's going on,

because I haven't talked to you in a few years. So sure, a lot has been going on. We've been around, what did we determine, like, seven, eight years now? Okay, great. When we started it, and then I was first on your show I remember I was just starting out and I was like I can't screw this up and I was on your show I was like what do I say and I was so professional and I couldn't like come out and say like I have a site with beautiful taste

And naked ladies, so you couldn't say that you didn't say that no, I didn't say that I remember it was like I want to go back and listen to it. I know I know I just like can't screw this up. Can't screw this up. Oh god. No. Right. You didn't so much has happened You know, we've learned a lot about the business and I'm actually I'm here with our general manager who's my business partner Hi, hi. I don't know how to actually tell the story about Zivity because About what was it like eight months ago or a year ago or so. I actually turned the company over to her And she's been running it and she's been doing a really great job. So, um, her take it from here.

Okay. Okay, so for some, I'm going to tell a little anecdote about my history of photographer and how that relates to Zivity. So two seconds, I'm not trying to make this about me. I actually have to move all of them. Right, so I get it. Oh, whatever. Don't worry, I do it all the time.

When I was younger, I had a career as a freelance photographer. And in my spare time, I loved shooting women in latex clothes with crazy hair and makeup and long nails and glamorous makeup. And those shoots were all for fun. Everybody was working for free. The makeup artist, the wardrobe stylist, and we just had a blast. And the pictures were raw and powerful and sexual. And the things that I actually got paid to do

were like headshots for a teenage modeling agency, or a portrait of a jazz band. And it just hurt my heart that the artwork that we were pouring our souls into didn't have a market, because it was too weird for fashion magazines. It wasn't, I don't know. So I kind of got away from photography because there was no way to make a living doing what I loved.

I totally understand that. But Sian has been thinking about how to solve this problem, how to give people the opportunity to make even at least a side income, making images that express their sexuality on their terms. Not what Playboy wants you to be. Not what Suicide Girls wants you to be. Those are all lovely platforms or publishers, but everybody wants you to look a certain

way. You have to have tattoos. You have to have a beautiful blonde hair. But people, there's real bodies, real people, real fetishes, and we wanted to create a platform where anybody could express that in a safe environment and be supported by their fans, find a community that... So it's for artists, for artists, photographers and models, they come and say, you can vote. Yeah.

And all that stuff. Because I'm a member of the site. And so people can ask who now there's a place for it. And you have to join. You have to join. You pay a subscription to join. And then you see thousands of sets from all over the world made by models and photographers.

And if you see one that you like, you can vote on it. So what voting does is you express your reverence and appreciation for that person's work. And you get to support them. Every vote costs a dollar, and that money goes directly to the artists. Oh, that's nice. So if I vote...

The photographer, the model, they split it. There's a split. So you vote 10 times. It's like you're giving $10 over to the artists, and Zivni gets a cut to cover, like credit card fees and stuff, but it's mostly all about the artists. That's great. I mean, it's beautiful, beautiful artwork,

and it's hot and sexy. And so what are some of the popular, like, there are any like common fetishes or common things in your site that are the most popular sets that people look at, or look forward to really across the board? I think it's across the board, and it's so diverse,

but recently, Nerve did a piece on one of our top models. She's our fourth top model. Her name's English Babs, and she's 55 years old, has five children. And she's incredibly popular on the site. And one of the reasons why is that people love her grace and maturity and how proud and comfortable she is in her body and her skin. And she's such an inspiration to everybody on the site that, you know, I look up to her because I'm like, Wow, a woman can do that and like rock that body and be proud of herself.

Exactly. I can grow into, you know, into an older woman and be proud of myself and love myself too. And so she's like such an inspiration. Exactly. And we were so pleased that like nerves were fired. And the helps with her self esteem, I mean, the thing is because so many women, you're right. They look at these sites and they think they should look a certain way. And your site has all different body types and all different representations of women

and I think it also can inspire women to feel confident. I think we have a little bit of something for everyone. I think if you come to Zivity, you're going to find a photograph that you like no matter what you're into. Right. So there's a lot of like strong fantasy themes on your site. So are there any fantasies in that there that portrays any of your own lives?

Oh gosh, yeah, totally. Like what? I really like, well, I would like to get more into cosplay. And so we have a lot of people, Comic-Con's right around the world. Right, right, menace. This is very appropriate. But I fantasize about being in cosplay.

And so I get very inspired when I see some of the models on our site who are like showing up as Wonder Woman or like various different, even obscure characters and I don't even know, so I took a search for them and try to figure out what it is that they're portraying. And so I think the fact that the women are able to think about whatever it is in their fantasy world that they want to be and become that, whether it be Game of Thrones, whether it be, you it be some character. Is anyone like a The Hamburgler by chance?

No, we could host a fan-house for the prize. So, we could actually get set for the handbook. We should talk about prizes. Well, that's my, the backstory of it. He wants me to dress up as it, oh. See, this is what I asked her, because she's not really a fast food type. I said, I said, if you're a dream guy

who was like perfect in every single way, the guy that you finally want to marry because she never wants to get married, said, I love you, there's just this one thing that I want you to dress up as the hamburger while we have sex, I asked her, would you do it? And she said no. No, the first time I was like, I have to be hot.

I'm like the perfect guy. I'm like, in every single way, she's like, no, why? Because it doesn't make me feel sexy. See, it's always about her. No, anyway, that's our hamburger thing. No, that's not true, but I love dressing up. But if I dress up, I would hope that it would be a mutually exclusive and enjoyable experience

for both of us. Not that I wouldn't do stuff for a guy. I'm just like, oh, I want you to it would be a mutually exclusive, enjoyable experience for both of us. Not that I wouldn't do stuff for a guy, I've used a guy I want you to, whenever we're not that frantic hamburger, that's at least sex in here, and it's giving me a french fries in a big Mac. So in regards to- In regards to the hamburger burger, on Zipity we have another feature called Prices, which is a creative prompt for the community. So you say, let's say, Menace minus one's the hottest Taco Bell theme set ever.

He can go on the site and put up $200 or whatever prize he feels is reasonable and say, I love Taco Bell. I want tacos on your boobs. I want you to go a band of tacos. Yeah. And whoever comes up with the best set on this theme gets this prize money.

And then people submit their creative take on the taco bed. Wow, that's really cool. Yeah. Glamour could do that. So are there any common themes on the site that you think just keep coming? Your top three fantasies or fetishes that come up?

Good question. Yeah, gosh. I'm always surprised what I see because we don't create the content. It's all user submitted. And so every time I log in, I'm able to get I see because we don't create the content. It's all user submitted And so every time I log in every day and something And there's you know, I think the only consistent theme is beautiful photography of wonderful women And what they want to do with themselves and how they want to express themselves and it's so buried

People seem the perennial themes that I see are tattoos people love like show me your ink, right? And people love nature. People love girls running through the field or by the stream, which I think is quite charming. That is pretty. Yeah, that's nice. And then there's also like, women that know. Yeah. Cold.

And then there's also like more political prizes. Like, I'm upset about NSA wiretapping. I'm upset about this note in Revelations. And the fact that we get spied on, create a set that captures that feeling of being intruded upon or spied upon and surveillance. And. So there's like women standing there like,

what, like about representing that theme, like they're being spied on or they're- Yeah, like there's like creeper surveillance camera photos. Right, like, God, there's everything. It's interesting. Yeah, that's really cool. So then in the community, it's a community that you've built. And then they're all, they all know each other. I mean, online and they're chatting.

Well, people have made best friends on our site. There have been people married. Any community has this. And so that's one of the things that's really special as you find out about these long lasting friendships that get built. That's really cool. I like that. So let's talk about the Free and friendships that get built. That's really cool. I like that.

So let's talk about the Free the Nipple campaign. OK, so let's give some background if people don't know. Yeah, sure. So I met this wonderful woman, Namelyna Esco, who made a film called Free the Nipple. And she gave me basically the rough cut of it to watch. And she put up a, it's not Kickstarter. They use some other platform, some crowd-raising,

crowd-funding platform for it. And they raised not enough money, but I was actually really surprised that she didn't raise a ton of money and that people weren't really super motivated to back this project because the project was about, you know, being able to expose our breasts in public in places like New York or places

where they're arresting women for being nude. And it's a fictional film, but it covers a very real issue about female breasts and sort of society's relationship with the female nipple and how it's unfair that men can be topless pretty much everywhere. And you can take your shirt off right now in minutes and just try to do that. She never has. That's right. Yeah.

But if I walk outside I guarantee you I I guarantee you, I will be stopped. I will be harassed. People will treat me very differently. And so the movie, it's activism is a form of art, and they made it. And so what happened was it slowly started to take off where we hosted a prize for Free the Nipple. We had a lot of our artists doing it.

And then we started seeing more and more people on Instagram popping up. And then all of a sudden celebrity started attaching to it, which is really fantastic. So like, Miley Cyrus was one person. She posted an Instagram photo of herself holding a nipple. And you know, she's like, there's no reason why this should be shameful.

And then, you know, rumor will start walking around like, like, hoppalous in New York City. And before we knew it, like, Facebook actually started to unband photos of women breastfeeding with babies So while that's not perfect, right? It's like a step in the right direction Definitely we need to be and I don't understand what the big fear is overseeing like a female nipple I know so if you go to Europe, there's like nipples everywhere. You're like where's a nipple? Why aren't you showing your nipple? Your eyes explode like what's gonna happen? I don't really understand. No, no, I'm on your side.

100%. Like I do believe that it's a double standard and you should be able to do whatever whatever you want. But when it comes to you, when it comes to online and Facebook, like we, we don't own Facebook. So they can make whatever rules that they want. You know? So like the same thing happened with Rihanna. So Rihanna was posting topless photos on Instagram, right? Those photos were hot. Yeah, and they were taking down. And what? Did they cancel our account?

They just took them down, right? Instagram just took them down. Are they told what I'm gonna come down? They took them down. I think they like closed their account for a second. I don't know all the details. Right, I'm scared. But you know, they just don't allow it.

And that's up to them. That's like, you know, if you don't agree with their rules, then just don't use their platform, you know. And then so she went to Twitter, which does allow it. And just, in this- I know, but for now, like you know, that- And they said, oh, they're in Tumblr and stuff like that. But it just uses a different platform that agrees

with your thoughts. Well, why do you have the right to do it? It doesn't make it, I still think it's wrong. Yeah. As a private entity, obviously, you can do whatever you like. And I don't believe that there should be a law that forces Facebook or any of these companies to allow nudity but I think from a just sort of thinking about society and their impact on society and what this is causing is causing people

women to be treated as second-class citizens when it comes to nudity in our bodies and our agency over ourselves and it actually permeates all the way through to how we treat prostitution, the media, and the MPAA, and how they give ratings to films. And it all starts with just whether or not we can handle the image of a breath. And I would much rather see, I'm not saying that even pictures of violence should be banned. We should still see violence.

I actually think we should see that too. But I think we see so many, like I go through Facebook and my feed, and I'm seeing like dismembered kids in Gaza. And it's killing me. And yet you can't see a beautiful picture of a loving couple, you know, in an embrace to remind you that there's still some love in the world. Exactly.

It's a double-standard. It's so pure-tinnable. Totally. But yeah, we spend our money in this country on porn and everything else. Like we're so repressed, but yet it's everywhere. But we still are the only country left that's like cracking down all this stuff. And you go to like France or Europe anywhere.

Like you see nipples and all the advertisements, the photography, it's just messed up. Yeah, no. And again, I totally agree with you. It's just, that's how I feel on the whole, the online, because I know it's a battle between on Facebook and Instagram to be able to share these photos. Well, I've heard this argument before, if you don't like the social network,

go to the Southern social network. But I think when a site reaches the enormous network effect, I know. I know. It has, you pay, you pay a toll. There's a cost. My friend, Laurie Penny, who's an excellent journalist wrote about this when Facebook did their happiness experiments where they turned on more sad content for some people and happy content for others and basically used a bunch of people as guinea pigs to determine whether or not the information you get changed to your mood and people were upset. So everyone was like, you don't like a donny's Facebook.

And Lori wrote, the cost to that is like, you miss out your cousin's cry for help at three in the morning, or your relatives who are too old to use any other platform. But it gives the touch to it, and they're like changing the formula. Yeah, but there's no alternative. And we're silencing people. And while I can't force Facebook to do this,

the only thing that you can do about speech is more speech, and I think people need to stand up. And they're gonna have to eventually listen to their consumers You know because if they actually do fear that we're all gonna leave I mean I guess we could have a mass exodus and that would make them fearful But you know if there's only a few million people who do it. It's a drop in the bucket right for them Look it happened in my space. It can happen to maybe It can happen but my space was replaced by Facebook Pretty much. Yeah, and then Facebook can be replaced by some

news. Like, Zivity, if you, I mean, if you actually, I mean, you, you guys probably have fan pages and stuff like that. Which I, which I've had threatened to be. I'm sure. Yeah, many times, but you probably know, like, how many people you're actually reaching on your page these days, you know. It's not really that much. So. What do you mean? Oh, because they hold back? They hold back. Like, you only, well, last they talked about,

you only reach 10% of your audience. Yeah, they don't even show everyone anything. And then they, I think they're about to throw down to about 3%. Because they want you to pay him by an ounce. And then they, you just, you got to be there. We've had them and they don't work. So you just find, you just find other ways.

And I have to find other ways to get referral traffic to my website. And it's just going to happen. Well, we hear Instagram still effective. We heard that from another artist who told us that her sales are up and her business is booming because of Instagram. So I still feel like even though Instagram is cracking down on like, you know, racy images as well, because of Instagram. So I still feel like even though Instagram is cracking down on

you know, racy images as well because of now and by Facebook, but you can still run a business on it and get referral traffic and without ad promotion at least right now. Yeah, so you hear what I'm saying. I'm on your side. And your site really is beautiful. Everyone should check it. I mean to cite the photography and we're also gonna potentially do some kind of joint like my site. I should check it out. I mean, to cite the photography. And we're also going to potentially do some kind of joint. Like, my site, I do blogs every day. We talked about this, but using some of your imagery, because it's really beautiful on our site as well, because we write a lot about sex relationships.

It might be nice. I love it. People might be into your photos on our website. Yeah, totally. And I'm going to come out and hold a whole thing together. Yeah, because you guys are in your cell in San Francisco. Or I'm at. So I was just looking today. And then we'll come out and we'll hold things together. Yeah, because you guys are in your cell in San Francisco. Right, Matt. So.

I was just looking today. I saw somebody saying that it's like a national holiday for I think like BDSM. BDSM? I should know this. Don't know how many of this. Yeah. It's today's BDSM day, and I don't know.

Yeah. How is this possible? My friend just posted a lovely photo of her. Do you guys have a lot of that on your site on your site as well? It's my more finished. Yeah, it's hot. It's international. Come on guys I'm just saying on her site like role-playing bondage is like yeah, I mean, right. I get it I mean

I came out to my parents on national coming out day and I had no idea it was a national Oh, no, but I was a national holiday. No way. But I was like, hey, sweet. You came out to them as bisexual. Bisexual, oh really? On that day, you didn't even know it. I didn't know, but there's all these new holidays. I know.

It's like an anal sex month in August, did you know? Coming up in 10 days. Who knew anal sex month? I was that big month for men. Coming out to your parents as bisexual. Because I always talk to my friends that come out. Is that a big story? That's just telling. That's just gay, but bisexual, they might say talk to my friends that come out. Is that a story?

That's just gay, but bisexual, they might say, oh, you know. So it's pretty funny. When I was a teen, the first time I asked my dad, what's a lesbian? He was like, honey, it's a very sick person. It's like a person I hope you will never meet. And then a few years later, I was like, mom, would you love me if I was gay?

At that point, I'd figure out that I was blind. She was like, of course I'd love you, honey. You're like, you can't help it. And I was like, what if I was blind? She was like, no. Right. This means fun by sexuals confusing. And she was like, yeah, because you have the choice to live a normal life.

And you'd be throwing that away. But years later, they just became so much more accepting that it was like, oh, cool. We're so glad I have a girlfriend, sweetie. We're so happy for you. That's good. They're just happy that you have someone to them well. Exactly.

So you have a girlfriend and you see men as well. So you're in like a polyamorous, yeah. Is that whatever you want to call it? I don't know if everyone calls something differently. Open relationship. Yeah. And how's that for a long time? So your whole life you've been that way?

No, it happened when I moved to San Francisco. Oh, always. When it happens. When it's easy, you catch. I moved to San Francisco. Oh, always. When it happens. You catch when you do. I find things I'm weird here. I'm like, not that I'm in, I don't know what I'm in. I'm in a bunch of different companies. But yeah, San Francisco's place to do it, right?

Everyone's like, cool. It's cool. They're in Santa Cruz, California. Yeah. That's why I think SF was a perfect city for San to launch Zivity in because it was just so open-minded. I think it is. It was a very progressive city. It was a great city. It was a great city. Even here, LA is and because it was just so open-minded. I think it was a very progressive thing. It was a great, it was a great, so even here LA is a little, you know, different.

It's open-minded, but it's more like, can we get money on this? Can we sell it? Can we get it? I think seriously, it was the most open, closed-minded city in America. Why closed? I was there the other day. Well, the only thing is, yes, they're very open-minded to, I would say, like, it's another thing that people would find extreme.

But the only problem that sucks about San Francisco is if people don't see your way, then they're gonna get the push. There's a very divisive, you love it that's you. Yeah, that's what kind of sucks is. Well, if you then, if you don't, if you're not into shitting your bags on the street or something like that, I don't know.

I was in a little, I haven't been back because I lived there for 20 years You don't, you know, if you're not into shitting your bags on the street or something like that. I got it. I was in the light. I haven't been back because I lived there for 20 years and I had to go back for a meeting just on Monday. And honestly, God, there was glue me, it was random. And I love, I mean, San Francisco is, I feel like I'm still always be a San Francisco, but I had to move here for work.

But I kind of felt like the city had changed and I felt like I ran into, it was like running into an ex boyfriend who got kind of like fat and not as cute anymore. And I had this relief that we broke up. That's how I fell about San Francisco. But I love it in my heart. I know it sounds bad,

but you know what you're into? And actually like, oh good, he's not that cute anymore. I don't wanna sleep with him. I was like, oh, I don't really wanna sleep with him anymore. So I fell okay with it, but then, so that's how I felt about San Francisco. They get to change a lot.

And it was like, crowd-wielding, and I forget how cold it is and how nice it is. But that's like the of it. I was crowded with me. And I forget how cold it is and how nice it is here. But that's like the superficial part. I miss my friends and my life there. But I felt like this was just a good change. I just think change is always good. I was there for like most of my life, so.

And then also the big comms have like really come in again in the past, like, a half years. Right. It's changed that I left. Right. You know, it took me an hour to find parking space, like by my house when I did it in three years ago. Oh, there's an awful that will silly parking space.

I know, I know. So shady. Really? Just before I moved there, I had two parking spaces, one by one of my offices and one by my house, together with $700 a month, just for parking. That's how insane it is to live in San Francisco. It's not, it's not worth it right now.

Like if you make $180,000 a year or something like that, you're like mid-level in San Francisco. It's crazy. It is crazy. But I don't know that you're like concerned poor. I know. It's crazy. What do you feel rich here?

Oh my God. For what I get here. I know you would be in a place. Yeah, it's five times as big. I have two parking spaces that I don't have the pay extra money for and guest parking. It's crazy. I know you would be in a place. Yeah, it's five times as big. I have two parking spaces that I don't have the pay extra money for and guess parking. It's crazy. I know. It's crazy.

And it's like a 96 degree. We're relaxing, but I do miss, you know, being around the city and so. No, I miss all my people. And then I left and I cried on the airplane because I sell my friend and I missed her. So like I went in going on. So you guys make out. You should have. No, she's not like that.

No, okay. No, but I would have told you about it. Okay. So everyone can find you guys ZIVY.com. That's right. And you can see some of the photos for free, some of the photosets and stuff. So what are you hoping, like, what's

your goals for the site in the coming years? Like, what do you hope people go there and check it out? Just to what is it? What would you like them to do? Well, quickly in regards to seeing pictures on Zivity for free, if you go to zivity.com slash gallery. They check it out, it's easy. Yeah.

Yeah, zivity.com slash gallery, we have 100 free images. We don't publicize this. This is like a special thing. Swared. Sex with Emily viewers. Oh, awesome. But in the coming year, I mean, we're looking at what a lot of companies like Kickstarter and Patreon are doing,

ways that people are continuing to support their favorite artists online. And we want to build more tools like that into our site, more ways for people to support their favorite artists. I can't talk about it because some of it is under wraps. We're moving forward. We just brought on a new developer. That's great. That's exciting. Okay. Well, I think it's great. Everyone check it out. I think it helps people too. Like body image and positivity. So is it more men and women that come to your side? It's all, would you say it's everyone?

Well, I'm probably predominantly male, but given the subject matter, men love pictures of women. But women love pictures of women. Right. Men learn the things that I often hear. Like women will stop me and say, I really love your sight because I found a woman who looks like me and the way she did her makeup

and the way she wore that lingerie, like I wouldn't have thought of that. And so now I'm inspired to go down to X-Wire Z store and buy things. No, I was looking at your site and I got this new, I went to Aegem of Rocketour and got some beautiful things and I was thinking of doing some For tag, well, it's a long story, but I was taking picture

I was wearing it and a friend of mine was taking pictures and I was like I don't know how to put like I didn't know how to pose in it and how to you know It was all go ahead this whole thing and I'm like getting some ideas about We're actually starting to develop artist guides for our models and photographers like how to pose How to shoot indoors? Yeah, I really need those tips. Cause I'm like, oh, I've gotta touch this up. You should totally go to Comic Con and dress up as like a Super Mario brother.

I wanna go, I do, it's in San Diego. Hand burglar. Yeah, it's in San Diego. I know. It's tomorrow. Yes, it's tomorrow. I can't. I'd like to.

You're gonna miss out. I know. Okay, well, we're gonna get, if you guys are welcome to say we got it We're gonna move into a little bit of of of emails and stuff, but yeah So feel free to chime in if you have any time in. Yeah, seriously. Okay Okay, but first I have a word for my sponsor. All right Okay, so as you know I

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Already? Okay, so that happened. So, you know, I was doing research. I do a morning show with a group of people. It's called the Woody Show on Alt 987 here in Los Angeles every morning. And so I researched a lot of news. And I saw a news article about somebody doing a parody porn of Weird Al Yankovic, right? And then so they dressed up as Weird Al.

He used to have a TV show called UHF. And they made the porn around UHF. Here's what the photo looks like. Should put a link up on there. Oh my God, it's hilarious, right? So I'm reading that and then I'm saying that, you know, I'm sitting at work and I'm just typing and working on stuff.

Guess who turns around the corner? Weird, out. Weird, out. So where the God? Did you go, did you go? Well, I, sorry, I didn't mention the porn Weird out. Weird out. Shut up. What'd you do? What'd you do? The God. Did you go? Well, I, sorry, I didn't mention the form because today,

he actually had the number one album in America for him is like latest album. So, I just thought. But you said hi? Yeah, I said hi and I congratulated him. I took a picture of it on my Instagram. Oh, awesome. Menace on Instagram if you want to see it.

But it was, it was so funny just to like, oh, I'm reading about like how there's this whole amount of. That's that's it. Well, you didn't tell me you were reading the important thing. But you said, oh, I was just so funny just to like, oh, I'm reading about like how there's this whole. Did you tell him that you were, well, you didn't tell me you were reading the porn thing, but you said, oh, I was just, I was just like, oh, no, because I just heard that he went number one. Right. And then so I just was,

that's cool. I mean, I can't believe he's still alive. So relevant because I mentioned, we're now to Emily and she's like, oh, is that the guy from like the 80s? I'm like, yes, he has still stayed relevant. Emily does not watch television. I am not staying all of them.

She doesn't watch television or keep up on pop culture at all, so it's not hard to believe that she didn't know that Weirdo was still around. But, if you want to see Weirdo porn, you should link it on such that Emily will come. I'm talking to people who would love that. We'll do that, Lauren. On your face.

We're gonna get it porn. We're all over that stuff. It's like at AVclub.com did an article on it. It's hilarious. Okay, thanks, Madness. Thanks for bringing me all the important news of the day. Of course. I appreciate it.

I'm trying to think who I met. I feel like, oh, I can't remember. Okay, so anyway, email subjects. We have, let's get into them. So as you know, I love hearing from you. Feedback at text with Emily.com. I do read and try to answer all your emails, and I keep them coming.

Dear Emily, I've been listening for six months now and love your podcast. I just listened to Communication is Libertation and Inter in Sex, Tour Review, and I want to let you know that I especially love the shows where your interns participate. It seems so easy to identify with them. I can identify with the perspectives and experiences

and still learn a lot. I find these shows extra special, wanted to encourage you to doing this more often. The discussion between three of you feels like a coffee shop chat among girlfriends. It's a great dish in your show. I love episodes of you experts, and of course, menace as well.

But these regular girls are easy to identify. It is the ads on your show. Congratulations to them as well as having the courage. At that age, just step up to the microphone with you and open up. Great job to you all, keep it going. It doesn't say your name. I'm sure they're. I'm sure they're so good because like your interns are probably all they do is hook up on

on Tinder all day. Don't they? I don't know what they know. It's going to boyfriend, but they've been doing some great shows then because as you know, we've always had interns, I've had a story of you. And then you can't always be here. And so we just sat. We've done a few shows.

We just did another one, which hasn't been released yet. And we did one a few weeks ago. And people really have like these shows a lot, because it's like, we're sitting around talking about, like, how was your first orgasm with this vibrator? That, because good vibes is our sponsor, and they get to pick out whatever they want on our sites, fun being a sex-dominant turn.

They always go home with goody bags every day. And yeah, she came and talked about it, and you know, it's interesting, because there's an age, you know, in their early 20s, tag my role sex, I always feel like guys, did you guys feel like men like knew how to perform role sex in the early 20s? Or even later? That men knew how to perform?

Men. Oh no. Right, one of my interns, I had to go to the hospital because some guy like heard her so bad with his tongue. And I just feel like, she's the guy that listens to the goddamn show. But it's interesting hearing her and her experiences of bringing toys into the bedroom and all that stuff.

So for the first time, because I give them to I don't make them do it. I don't say, hey, you got to bring this but so anyway, thank you for your amos sweetie. Okay, Kaggle Camp. Hamley, I love your show and I love the Kaggle Camp app. I use it every day on my way home from work. I need your advice concerning the clitoris. My boyfriend is very good at finding my clitoris with his tongue and hands, but whenever he's touching it the pressure is too much and it hurts. I've told him to be gentle, slow down, etc.

But it seems like no matter what we try, it's always too rough for me to have an orgasm. I'm able to get myself off all masturbating, but I can't get off with his hands or mouth. The sex is great, we are able to communicate with each other. He's given me plenty of gspot orgasms, but I still want him to get me off this way. Any tips so I can get my man from touching my clitoris so that it doesn't hurt? You're the best, much love from Austin, Texas, Caitlin. Okay, Caitlin, she loves me.

Okay, so I have an app called Kegel Camp. It's for men and for women, you can get an iTunes store. Let's just cover that first. So you guys know Kegel after sizes. I talked about it on the radio for you. I love you. I love you. I love you. You did? Yeah, fun. Just the other, we You guys know Kegl after sizes. I talked about it on the radio for you. I love you. I love you. You did?

Yeah, I did. Just the other, we started talking about Kegles and I was like, oh yeah, my friend has an app. Yeah. It's true. And I got to tell you a big thing in New York Times, I say people think it's for women, but for men too, there was a big thing about men's,

like prostate health and all that then. Everyone should be doing their Kegles. No one remembers, Dr. Dalk tells you do it and it reminds you every day. Okay, okay. Anyway, Clitoris. So she finds out that the tongue hands, the pressure is too much. You've got to tell him, but it seems like no matter what we try,

I think you've got to try some mutual masturbation. Caitlin, I think that you should have him watch you and you should watch him, and maybe he just watches you, because it sounds like you're the one having issues, and you can show him exactly what it is that you do, and then he can mimic those movements, because maybe just by telling him to slow down and move his hands, it's like maybe he's getting nervous to get direction.

Sometimes getting directions in the moment for a man can be really intimidating. And they just like they're messing up. So I would just say like, hey babe, watch me do it. And first of all, what a lot of women don't realize, which I've learned lately, always, is that they don't think that it's hot for their partner to watch them, but they're with a woman or a man to masturbate. And it's really a, can be the most erotic sexual hot thing when I'm like, oh my orgasm, I'm just doing it.

It's a really sexy thing. It's intimacy. It's bringing you guys closer together. But also, a lot of women are really, really sensitive. Their clitoris is just sensitive. And women just don't necessarily like to be touched there as much, but it sounds like that's what you do want. And you're already having G-SFET orgasms.

So I would just then focus on your clitoris show, because if you can do it, he can do it. He can learn it, I'm sure he's a smart guy. And so I'm trying to think what else. He told me if you gentle, slow down, but you need to show him, it looks like you just need to show him if the actual verbal cues are not any any suggestions They're probably obvious what no the verbal cues. Yeah, it's not hard. I just take his hand and show them or have him watch you

Yeah, I mean I used to work as a teacher and one of the first things we learned is that different people are different types of learners Visual learners kinetic learners Maybe he's a kinetic learner and needs to do it exactly. That's how I am, I'm a kinetic learner too. I need to feel things do it in the moment, touch it, experience it. So I've given this advice to someone before who had this issue as well and I know this may sound strange, but I told them to put their hand on a piece of fruit that has very thin skin on it, like a peach and rub it. And you know, be gentle enough that you don't tear the skin off the peach. Right. A bright peach. Yeah. You're not supposed to do that. No, peach is great example. Right. And for whatever reason, that like mental image and the thought of that, they don't

even have to go touch the peach. It's just thinking about like pressure and like the fact that rubbing could actually cause that friction and create that problem seemed to fix it for the person outside. That's great. That's a really good advice. Menace, how have you dealt with painful clitoruses? Oh painful clitoruses. I usually run the other way. My clitoruses even know that there is so many, I don't know why I'm talking to you about this in this moment, but that's cool. Okay, so let me go to the next email here. All right, so, it's a big thing.

Okay, this is called, come digest. God knows we're going here. Hi Emily, I haven't been sexually active for long. I've engaged in four play with previous boyfriends, but didn't want to fully have sex until I felt I was with the right person. I'm with a new guy now who never pressured me and told me he loved me either way.

And after 8 months we finally had sex and it was wonderful. My only hindrance so far in the bedroom comes down to blow jobs. I've gotten a lot better at them lately but I just can't seem to get myself to let him come in my mouth. I know how immature that my sound but it nauseates me just to think about it. I don't ever problem forming the blow job, I can tolerate the pre- sound but it nauseates me just to think about it. I don't have a problem with forming the blowjob. I can tolerate the pre-come. It's just the actual come that grosses me out.

Are there any tips you have or methods you know to help me face the come digest head on? I really want to know about it. I really want to help be able to give him the full pleasurable experience because he's the best boyfriend imaginable and I just want to do this for him. Especially since blowjob service favorite, thanks, Lauren. Okay, Lauren. I would say, Dequila, right?

What, Dequila, if she's still drunk and can't take, then she throws up all of them. No, I mean, like some, I don't know. Some girls do it and some don't. Like, why, I mean, is it a really a big deal? I don't know. I mean, honestly, I was, I was, I was, I was, because I just didn't know you shouldn't.

Like, I thought, I was taught, like, you have to swallow. Like, I was like, okay, like, I never thought, like, you really love me, you would, but I just thought, like, I'm, but a lot of women don't like it. Guys are so simple and stupid, like, they don't care either way, you know? They don't. So, that's it, clearly her boyfriend, okay,

Lauren, here's my question for you. They don't. Do you, is he telling you, honey, your blow jobs would be, I give them a 10, but they're only a nine, because you're not smiling, or are you creating this barrier in your head that you're doing something wrong? Because women are such, love a lot of women, and men can be such pleasers, but we're such peelers.

So I'm wondering, you're probably giving them a killer blow job. If you don't want to, that's fine. You could, if you want to try, I mean, you might have had a bad experience once. And maybe I think a lot of people have bad sexual experiences like one time in their life and they just swear things off forever. Thinking some guy had really bad com, right? Went up her nose and we know what.

It's like a shot, just do it real quick. I think you know. I'm really bad at shots, but I can't do shots. But also another thing is as she's like pulling away, she might be slowing down and messing up the process. This is what she's doing. Use your hand when he's about to ejaculate. Give him a great hand job with lots of lube

or make sure it's already lubricated. And let him finish that way if you don't want to swallow. But also, my website gives great tips on hand jobs because we actually had a blow jobs, but we had a great hand job debate going on for many years on the show. Oh, for years, yeah. Also, you could try mask.

This is a product we always talk about. Mask, M-A-S-Q-E sexual flavors. It's a strip. It's like those list of reinships that you put in your tongue at masks, the taste of semen. And you can get them, I think you can still get them in good vibes.

And it literally like, the blowjob will taste like cherries or what is it? Watermelon and strawberry orange. Aren't they based out of Santa Cruz, California? Mask. I think so. No, they're not. No, but they sell it at a good vibes. They're little strips.

But also, you know, you could also position the penis towards the back of your mouth when he's about to jack late and you might not taste it as much. But I would also check back in, Lauren, with your guy, because I don't know. I mean, I don't do. I can't imagine any guy that really actually gets upset by that. I mean, I mean, younger, I don't know what she is. I don't know. I think she's the most guys are surprised when it happens. When they do swallow?

When they do. Yeah, they're just like, wow. Like, so most women don't. I really like it so funny. This is my very first podcast. Most women don't. That was in podcasts ago. I remember, my friend Ed was on the show.

And he was like, you're talking about blowjob. He's like, I just feel like if a woman, as well as like, I don't want her to do it right away because I feel like it's an intimate thing. And I was like, I just, I learned that that- Like I was totally trying to sleep with you. No, he wasn't, and he was my good friend. He was like, I didn't even, I didn't see him.

But I was like, I didn't even, he's like, you're such like, it's such an ace, the Jewish girl like, that's what you learn. He's like, swallow, he's like, you're such a like, people please, I'm like, I just, I don't know, like, I didn't know you couldn't. I'm's what you learn. You like swallow. You're such a like people please. I don't know. I didn't know you couldn't. I'm like you just swallowing.

I think you're thinking in 2014 that most girls do swallow. I would say out of my sexual experiences, maybe like 20% don't. It's like 80% do. Out of the three women you bit with. Yeah, out of the three. What do you guys, so you don't, you don't, you decide every other time. Like you like it, you don't 80% do. Out of the three women you bit with. Yeah, out of the three. So you don't, you decide every other time. Like you like it, you don't, you do.

See? You don't never? I just, I mean, I just, I mean, I'm not super excited about blue jobs. Right, I got it. So many people are it. Like so many women just don't love. I did a workshop on this last week was part of it.

It was like how to learn to love it is what I wrote an article for. Who did I write that article for, Lauren, how to learn to love it, is what I wrote an article for. Who did I write that out of full or and how to learn love a bow job? Was that glamour too? I think so. You know, one of those websites. But the thing is also,

like we get emails all the time, and they're like, oh, she's not really at the blow jobs. I just don't think she ever will be, you know? So if she's really against it and she doesn't want to do it, and you forcer, like really like talk it to it. It's not though pun intended. It's gonna suck anyway. Right. It's not gonna be a good Force anyone to know that is very true. You don't want to force anyone to do it.

But I'm just again going back to women not liking things because maybe they had About experience but if you still like to penis, you don't take this. Yeah, but if they're open to it and they want to do better than yes They should take your workshops, but if they're open to it and they wanna do better than yes, they should take your workshops. But if they're not into it, just let it go. Same thing with anal sex. Like you're not gonna talk them into it. It is anal sex month coming up. Oh yeah. But you're not gonna, but no.

But if you like pressure them, trying to wear them down to get them to do it, they're not gonna do it. Maybe one day they'll just like, they'll bring it up. Just fine, just bring them around their friends that do anal sex, and they'll say how amazing it is, and then they'll talk them into it. I know, they're in here now.

Because a guy is now, we're gonna be able to do it. But the thing is, I was talking to my cathar, it's so funny, you know, my cathar would. So I host Love Line on Thursday nights with Dr. Drew in my cathar would. And so the night I was there, and I was actually just doing my podcast there without you, sorry, it was sad. But with the comedian, I was there and I was actually just doing my podcast there

without you, sorry, it was sad. But we had a comedian, it's a funny, we just posted Adam Ray, he's a comedian from a bunch of different things. You should check out the podcast. But after I was leaving Drew and Mike were coming and doing their podcast and Mike just walks in and says to him, he's like,

Emily, he's asked us open for business. I'm like, what are you talking about? That's how he greeted me. And so then I, he, they're, come on and do our show. So I went into their show and we were talking about it. I said, I think that the same thing I was just saying earlier about blowtops, there's a lot of women who think, who don't like anal sex, and there's just women

who legitimately don't like it. But there's also women who had really bad experiences with guys who didn't know what they were doing. And they didn't use lube, they didn't warm them up, they shoved it in, it was painful. And so they sweared off forever because Mike was talking about his wife, he doesn't like it. I was like, well, she's like, I want it, but she's, I'm like, well, maybe we could figure out if there's something behind that because you can reassociate whatever your associations

are with it and kind of try to make it like a good experience if it was someone who's like more of an experienced lover. Well, you know, I've been thinking about this a lot recently and in my experience, no one has ever treated me lesser because I was like, I prefer not to do this. Right. But recently, I was like, maybe I want to learn to become the blowjob master. How to do that? And I thought about a lot.

I asked my friends advice. And the advice I got was really interesting. It wasn't read about technique. It was read stories by women who talk about the psychological experience of doing it. Exactly. And if you approach it from that perspective, if you really figure out how can I make this fun for myself intellectually. It's true. Well, that's what I talk about. My workshop is it's a mindset. It's like you're giving them your own control of their pleasure. You're

you're giving them this ultimate, you know, pleasure that they want. But it also comes comes back to you because you're feeling like here's a person I love. This penis is an extension of them. And I'm gonna do something that's gonna to make them feel good and what comes around goes around and hopefully you'll what comes around. It comes right. Everything's a friggin' new and new and new on this show. So it's hard to talk about, yeah, tips. But no, you're right. And then there are other tips.

But the better one thing is always like enthusiasm. Like, you don't want anyone going down in you either as a woman who's just sitting there not into it, because you can tell you're like, I'd rather just have you go make me dinner or something and then do that. And so you got to be enthusiastic. But also there is a way to change your mindset to be like, and that's what I'm also saying for the first person we meld in, the woman who, that, by the way, I was like, Caitlin is like, she could listen to some of the stuff and think about it,

there's a way she can change her mindset around it around it. It's something that you love, it's extension of their body, and like that you are in control of their pleasure, and you can just say it make them feel good, and that makes you feel good giving, receiving all that stuff. Okay, so we got to wrap up the show. Thank you so much. I so appreciate you guys being here from Zivity. Sayonan Nadia, right? I said that right.

Nadia, that's, it starts, okay. Good, thank you. Zivity.com, anything else you guys and your website and your Twitter Instagram, anything you want to, all that stuff. It's all Zivity, so if you go to Zivity.com anything else you guys and your your website and your Twitter Instagram anything you want to all that stuff. It's all Zivity. So if you go to everything Zivity ZI the ITY Facebook Zivity Twitter Zivity so awesome when you lock all that stuff down Yeah, we don't have really any name so yeah, what does it mean? It's just I made up name. I like it That's why no one has it. Yeah, well you doing beautiful work, and hopefully we can do some feature collaborations. But everyone should check out your site.

I would love that. And Menace. Yes. I love seeing you. Oh, I started another Instagram account for people because you know, I love traveling. Just some small, little Instagram account called the best vacation photos. If you follow that, why would you make it separate from you? Just because a lot of my friends have like awesome photos and then so just like one place is sharing together. I will follow you. Check it out. Okay cool and great and

we'll do that. Follow me on Instagram Twitter everything and like by section only page because because you know what happened. You know when down with these people. So just do that and thanks everyone for listening to the show. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Hey guys, thanks so much for listening to the show. So you know, we're always talking about,

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