Sex With Emily - Squirting Is My Love Language (& Other Ways To Play)

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

So you want to try a new kink? Well, you’ve come to the right podcast. On today’s Best Of show, I answer your questions and help open your mind (and body) to all things kink and BDSM - from squirting to nipple-gasms.  Pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone can lead to enhanced intimacy and heightened pleasure. All you need are the right tools, compassionate communication, patience and plenty of lube.Show Notes:6 Kink Styles (& How To Explore Them)Tickets to Book Release Event with Jen FreedPlayground (get 15% off first order with code SEXWITHEMILY) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I tried to like guide the finger there, you know, and it gets pushed away. Yeah. So I don't really, I don't know if this is like, you know, a deal breaker or not? Yeah, well, so. Okay, here's the thing, Jeff. So you're 31 years old, a sheerage as well? She's 28. Okay, so here's the thing.

You've been together five months, you know, I think you have to have the conversation about sex outside the bedroom. Because if you're telling me she's not that adventurous, it's not that likely that she would be into it you leading your finger toward your ass. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.

So you want to try a new kink? Well, you've come to the right podcast. On today's best of show, I'll answer your questions and help open your mind and body to all thinks kink and BDSM, from squirting to nipple gasms, because pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone

can lead to enhanced intimacy and heightened pleasure. All you need are the right tools, compassionate communication, patience, and plenty of love. All right, intentions with Emily for each episode join me in setting an intention for the show. I do it. I encourage you to do it. What do you want to get out of this episode?

My intention is to help you expand your pleasure beyond the ordinary, because even if kink is just not your thing Just talking through new types of pleasure can bring you and your partner closer together and have a whole lot more pleasure Please rate and review section the Emily wherever you listen to the show my article six kink styles and how to explore them is up at sexwithemily.com. Also check out my YouTube channel social media and TikTok. It's all at sex with Emily for more sex tips and advice. Want to ask me questions? Leave me your questions or message me sexwithemily.com slash ask Emily or just call my hotline 559 talk sex or 559 8255739. Always include your name, your age, where you live and how you listen to the show, and of course, totally cool to change your name

or choose to remain anonymous. Oh, one more thing. Super excited. I'm doing my first live event since 2020. It's gonna be in Los Angeles with my good friend, Dr. Jen Fried. As you know, she's been on the show. She's a psychological astrologer,

and it's gonna be to celebrate her new book and it's at Dynasty Typewriter on Friday, October 7th at 6pm. Please come join me. I'm really excited to see all of y'all. We're gonna be stressing her new book a map to your soul and just talking about how to nurture yourself, live your potential. Join me, go off on a lot of great conversations that I know are gonna inspire you. I'm going to put a link to tickets in the show notes. Come say hi, I'd love to see you. All right, everyone, enjoy this episode. Bondage. People always want to know, like, what does it mean to tie my partner up? How do we consensually tie each other up?

So bondage means to be as restrained for erotic purposes, essentially, the B in BDSF, which is bondage, discipline, say, no massacres. I like being tied up. And also, even during my wedding, actually, so my husband brought, he, yeah, during our, because we got married in Hawaii, but he said he was going to bring some rope. And of course, it's not like your typical rope, you guys. It's not like your, you know, the kind you see

that looks like it would hurt you or something. No, you could even use something that's like material that you would use for like yarn or something like that. It doesn't have to necessarily be your average, like you think some rope you used to tie a boat with or something. Oh, thank God. Yeah, both of us seem tired.

Exactly. Exactly, both of us. Not boat broke. It seemed hard. Exactly. It was hard, not like that. But yeah, so he used to actually this very, like a yarn. It was almost like a yarn. It was very soft. It felt very nice, because he knows they don't like things that would scratch or anything. And he tied up my breasts.

And so that he basically put it down the center of them and then tied them apart somewhat, so it didn't hurt so much, but it was more like tying them so they were separated almost like it was a bra in itself and it was like a halter, it was very cute, I'll have to show you pictures. But yeah, and so that was kind of like a bondage that we would do. Like that night and your hands were also tied? Yeah, so that's the thing, it tied to my hands as well.

Oh, so it was very. Because you have breasts. Right, it has. Like for me, I mean, I have some but you couldn't, that would work for everybody. Right, so it's very because you have breasts. Right. Like for me, I mean, I have some, but you couldn't that would work for everybody. Right. It's that. It's not. I don't know. Breast fingers. But bondage is a very popular kink for people. Right. And I think, yeah, we make it so difficult. Like just use some string, use some bondage tape. We actually have some bondage tape here, which Nick, are you there? Are call skinner? I really want to tie you up in

New York so badly, but we were so busy that I didn't get to. And I wanted to use this bonded shape because it's so friggin cool. Have you seen this before? No. So let me tell you why I love bonded shape because it sticks. It looks like duct tape and it comes in different colors. There's like red and black and purple and it's reusable.

But also it sticks to itself. So let's say I had my two hands here. Oh, this is nice. Yeah, it's really nice. So give me your hands. I'm gonna tell you about. So you go like this. And literally you guys, it is my favorite thing.

I think I discovered this like 14 years ago when I first, I was like, that was still my favorite thing. So there you go. Look at this. So it sticks to itself. You can just break it. You can use your teeth. But it's almost like a decal. Okay, there. It works. But you can just break it. You can use your teeth. Yes. But it looks like a decal.

Okay, there. It works. Yeah. But you could even make it tighter, right? Right, right. So you could wear this around your, you could do it in your hand, you could do it around your, I could blindfold you. Right. I could blindfold you.

I got to stand, Mike, and do bond it. I have to tie someone up while being on the mic. This is the first. Okay. So you know what I'm saying? And this is it. I have to tie someone up while being on the mic. This is the first. Okay. So, turn around. So you know what I'm saying? And this is it. So watch, she's got a blindfold.

And this tape is like 12 bucks a roll. And it's reusable, if you want to. So what are doing great by the way? And it doesn't stick to its hair. It doesn't stick to the hair. It doesn't stick to your self. Look at her. She's not sure.

Is it like you're at home or something? Is it like your husband? Is this fun? We're either going to kidnap her. You could do it. Is it like you're at home or something? Is it like you're, is this fun? We're either going to kidnap her. You could do it around their mouth. You could do it around the next. And it's for you. How great is fun?

So easy. And you're all like, I don't know how to do it. Do you want to come out of this? OK, but don't you think it's cool? Would you use it? You're very good subject. It's actually really awesome. How easy that came off to.

I do. That's actually what I love about it too. Look at how it's so good. It's that came off to. That's actually what I look at it. You know, is that it's not like duct tape and it actually doesn't stick to your skin. So it doesn't feel like you have something that's so sticky. Right. That you would be it would hurt you. It actually is not doesn't hurt any at all. No, which is nice. It doesn't. Yeah. I put over your hair. She is this long. Look, see Christine as hair She's the most beautiful luge every day I stare and I go how is it her so perfectly long and that there are highlights and the things and the thickness Good genes, but yeah, you just do it. It's really easy. I think in our mind we make it We think it's a big boat rope or we think it has a locking key and you got to like lock up the handcuffs

But no, it's just so easy to do. And it's just hot because you're feeling, right, restrained or you take away eyesight, then everything else becomes more heightened. And so I think it's, you know, popular for a lot of people and that's how you want to talk about like beginner bondage. So you want to make sure you've consent. You don't want to just like whip out the bondage shape. Be like, hey babe, I'm just gonna, you want to talk about it ahead of time. You want to pay attention to your body. How does it feel in the moment? What are you enjoying about it? Can you let go?

I mean, I think that great thing about playing with bondages is that you actually get the person who's being tied up gets to let go a little bit. You let go in the sense of you're not doing anything, but also you are feeling much more in your body. When you take away movement or eyesight, you're feeling more, and you're also feeling more connected that for people like ADD and their mind wanders, I'm raising my hand, is that you sometimes you're in a power play with your partner, so you're just feeling it's also can be really more intimate.

It's not as disassociative. A lot of people kind of go in their minds like fantasize during sex, but this is like a very connected intimate, intimate act. Definitely. Right. With your husband too, you feel like... Yes. 100% it's more intimate. That's what I think I love about it.

And we switch so I can tie him up as well. That's the thing, it's like we both get to see how that dominant and submissive relationship can be and switching because he's so dominant in his work and I'm so dominant in my work, we like being submissive both. But we also like to dominate. Had you always had a sense that you could be both switching

done? That's the thing. I always thought I wanted to be submissive. And then Nick got it out of me. He was able to pull out for me being more into my dominant side. And what's so funny is all my gay friends said, we knew you had it in you.

And I was like, oh my God, I had no idea there was this other side that I could do that too. I love it. I mean, I feel like in your marriage too, this is what I want. I want all of you to go a little bit deeper in your relationship just because you think something isn't possible.

I could never go there when you're with a partner where you feel safe and you're actually having really healthy, helpful conversations. And you feel safe to explore that. You're like, let me try to explore the dominance out. If it didn't work, it would have been okay. Right. And then in him giving you permission to maybe it's awkward the first time.

It was like standing up there with a whip. No, no. You didn't like, right? And now I have, I have a vlog. Now she's got the vloggers and the wits, not the first time. So I think also you guys another thing you can use is a spreader bar. It's not only great for like binding your feet, but it also adds in some like power play. So you can use is a spreader bar. It's not only great for binding your feet, but it also adds in some power play. So you can put your...

Michelle was using it earlier, that you can put this around your legs. I can't do it. I should do it. I'm wearing a dress. You're wearing shoes. Okay, so you put your ankles and the heels of my shoes. I take out my shoes.

I put it to your wrist. Hands. Yes. Michelle, don't shoot up my skirt. Okay, that doesn't throw my toes. But so a spreader bar is hot because you guys, it's sort of like it's power play. You have your hands, you can't, we've never done that. I just get you ankles. Don't worry.

My ankles and their spreader part and it's another power play that you said you've a spreader bar right? Because you're at home. I have a battery doing this. I have multiple. I have a battery doing this. I have a battery doing this. I have a battery doing this. I Because you're at home. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this.

I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this.

I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this.

I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot of you doing this. I have a lot's just for your legs, so it actually just keeps them spread. And so that way, it's almost like in a way, a little painful, which I'm okay with. And then having to like, you know, stay in that position while you're trying to have intercourse or sex or, you know, being dominant semis. So what part of it is painful, the actual,

your legs are because they're spreading, because it's all spread. Right, so it's kind of like, you are open, open like your partners essentially saying by you wearing the spread of our like you are open to me I can take you in any way. I can leave you I can come back and then I can move again Exactly. Yeah, that's really hot. Hey guys. This is all um hot stuff. This little beginner bondage 101 All right, we have Katie who's 24 in California. She wants to know how to be more dominant in bed Okay, what's going on? Tell me. Um, so my husband is dominant in bed, but he sometimes wants me to be, and I'm just, I get really shy, and I don't know what to do. Like how I should go about tracking

it. Yeah, it's a great question, Katie. So, because why would you know if you've never done it before? And so, you're in the position that a lot of people are when our partner tells us they want something and we're like, I don't know what that means. Like, I'm not sure when it means to be dominant. So, my first thing would be to ask him and say, can you walk me through a scenario or show me what you mean? How would you like me to be dominant?

Because that also looks different. Because you want you to time up. Does he want you to spank him? Does he want verbal domination? Does he want you to time up, does he want you to spank them, does he want verbal domination, does he want you to verbally use dominant words. I think you get to totally ask here and say, you know what, I would love to get to know more about this. Tell me what that looks like to you.

So there's nothing wrong with you, don't know. And I was gonna ask Christina here, because Christina, her husband, you weren't into being dominant, right? And then he kind of taught you, you didn't know what was gonna be your thing. And then how did you guys learn that? That might be helpful for Katie.

Yeah, I actually did exactly what your advice is. Is that I asked him, what is it that he liked? I asked it if it was something that he, and he told me he likes to be humiliated. Okay. And so that's when I discovered, oh, okay, and then what is that kind of thing that you wanna be humiliated, but do you want?

He's like, I don't wanna think of you being with like another man. Okay. And tell me what you would do with him, and that's gonna humiliate me. And so he just wanted me to talk more to her. The verb of me, okay. See, right?

How would you know? You didn't know if he wanted handcuffs and to be spanked, but it was verbal domination. You want him more verbal domination. Okay. And he does like, now it's progressed to more, like I can also, you know, do bondage and I can also

do other things with him, but it gets more as they, you know, we both discover together. It actually very beautiful. It keeps expanding. That is really beautiful. I love all the layers feeling back with Christina sex life. So Katie, does that make sense to you? Does that could that be helpful to have just some more conversations? Maybe can show you some porn that he likes and have some scenes in it that show what he's

into, but you in no way have to be nailing this right now. Yeah, I think I just, because I get shy and embarrassed almost. So I think asking would probably be better. I just don't know what. Of course, I'm telling you you shouldn't, you don't have to know, Katie, you shouldn't know, don't beat yourself up.

If course you're embarrassed, you know? It's okay, like you're shy, you haven't done it before. It's a new skill and it's okay to ask a lot of questions All right. We have Carmen 64 in Arizona who wants to ask about anal toys Hey Carmen. How you doing? Hi, how are you, Dr. Annell? Hi, I'm coming. Thanks for calling I wanted to thank you because thanks to you. I've had the first talk ever about sex and toys. And it was so wonderful. We're going to go to a store to buy some toys.

And in the other clothes, are you have no idea how amazing we've been dating two years and it's just gone up our level of, you know, closeness. So thank you for that. Yes, of course. I remember you're 64 right Carmen you're 64 and how old is he? Yeah but just by listening to your program just being amazing

what is even better. My question is I about you know okay because I had anal sex with my ex with my first husband and considering we were very tipsy and I really enjoyed it, but I never wanted to do it again. Right. I thought it was, I don't know, perversion that I was young. I can.

Yeah. And so then with my boyfriend, the few like 10 years ago, I really tried to let him hear the environment. Right. Well, here's the thing, it's mostly people have bad first time experience like that.

They're drunk and they're like, Oh, no, wrong hole. It goes in or you know what's going in, but you don't use Loub. You don't go slow. So the most important thing is for you to be turned on and warmed up to use a lot of them. Actually, you're asking about toys. It says that there's the the B vibe has a beginner anal kit and it has different size butt plugs to build up

It has amazing lube. It has a lube shooter actually to help move the lube long So that might be it has a beginner guide to anal that's literally the best beginner guide I've ever read it's like very easy to read those pictures. I would start there because for many women Carmen They don't realize they can actually have pleasure through anal because they just had a bad time, they had a bad experience, they never tried it again. It can actually give you a lot of pleasure if you do it right and slow down. How about that Carmen? I really, well the only time I was the first time, but I didn't want to do it because I thought there was a mental block on this is not good. Right.

Taboo. Oh my god, I'm a bad person. Yeah, but I really enjoyed it. But I never wanted to. But then now, 10 years ago, when I tried it again, I couldn't get to like it. We tried it a few times. Okay. Great.

But now you're going to try it, right? Carmen, okay. Well, now you'll try it. Try it. You'll be getting it. Okay. Awesome, thanks, Carmen. All right, we have a Cindy 55 in New Orleans that wants to ask about squirting. Hey, Sydney, what's going on?

Thanks for calling. So I have a question for you. I'm very, very lucky. My husband and I have a wonderful sex life. I'm multi orgasmic. And about four or five years ago, my husband was able to get me to squirt, and now he is obsessed. He wants me to do it again, and I've been like, no, no,

I don't want to try this again. I don't know what I did that caused it to happen. It just, it happened. So I'd like to go ahead and fulfill his fantasy of having me do that again, but how does it happen? I mean, what did I do? I mean, a lot of times it has to do... It's gotten...

Yeah, you know, it is... It is like, did it happen? Was he using his fingers or were you having sex? Was he using a toy? Do you remember what was happening? And I think maybe I can explain to you more. Sure. He was using his fingers.

Okay. And I was standing and he was sitting on the left seat. Oh, okay. Well, this makes sense. So if you were standing, it means that your legs were closer together. You were probably tensing and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. And you were probably clenching them together a little bit tighter too. So when you're standing, I actually, that's a really great way to squirt.

I've squirted that way. And so I think that's probably why you were squeezing your pelvic floor muscles. He was using his fingers to penetrate you going in and out and hitting your g spot. Maybe try that again. It really is just continual stimulation of the g spot helps to already be aroused to have like a clitoral

orgasm first. For some moment it helps to like kind of rub over the pubic mound like right above your clitoris. Using the magic wand vibrator kind of works for a lot of people. Yeah. Use that over your pubic mound. Have him use his fingers and then place the magic wand on your pubic mound. But that's where you pie pressure with it. I'm telling you it's been like this. We had the the owners of magic wand a few months ago. We love them. And I'm like, have you heard this a lot too? They're like, yeah, all the time. So that's what happened.

I was at the nurse for years. Yes. Before I ever even discovered you, I was reading up and found one and I thought, this is a good toy. I don't know when you got it, but they have one that's wireless now, a cordless. Oh, yeah, it doesn't even need to plug it. Yeah, you don't need to plug it in.

And it's just as powerful. It's cordless. I know. It was huge when that came out four years ago like we had a parade It was only in our office, but we were excited So that's what it is. It's all g-spot play with the toys play with his fingers and stand up straight that all makes sense to me I was trying to recreate that Okay, awesome

Don't do me you and again don't feel pressure Sydney, but you know why not see how it goes again. Thanks Sydney After the break, I'll answer more of your questions about kink and BDSM. This next one comes to us from Terry who's 43 in Ohio. She writes, my husband and I are looking for recommendation for nipple clamps. We've never used them before and really don't know where to start. Are there beginner nipple clamps? The choice of clamps depend on level of sensitivity or desired sensation. For me, I'm super sensitive and can actually orgasm with nipple stem alone.

Who knew that was possible, right? Any product recommendations? Thanks. Oh, Terry, we knew it was possible, but we haven't had one yet here, it's actually only. I love that you have nipple orgasms. Nipple orgasms are a very common orgasm that women can have really, can be a lot easier to achieve,

but a lot of women don't take the time figuring that out. And nipple clamps are a great way to start. So here's the thing. There are some really cool ones that you can vary the sensitivity. I like the Bound 2 Please Nipple Clamps. If you go to our website and you click on the store, what's really cool about these, just like putting nipple clamps into our store because they have screws on them that are connected by like a removable chain. And so you can tighten the grip just from very, very light to intense.

So you can play with them, your partner can play with them by just kind of moving a little screw that gets them a little bit tight and a little bit tighter. So you can actually play with them and they're really sexy looking. They have a few pairs that are great. So yes, absolutely get ones that you can vary. You can go from sensitive to, you can go from tight to whatever, whatever I said. The ones that you can go from light to intense. So I think that'd be a great solution.

And then also, I think you some lube, if you haven't tried that on your breasts, that feels amazing. Oh, by the way, speaking of lube, if you haven't tried that on your breasts, that feels amazing. Oh, by the way, speaking of lube, I'm obsessed with playground. You know how much I love lube, and it takes a lot from me actually recommend one and say, like, this is what I love. Well, playground is new. It has all these incredible ingredients, especially if you have a vulva. These are the ingredients you'd want to put inside of you,

but it's for everybody. It's great for partnered sex. They have four different essences. You have to check it out. It's helloplayground.com and all of my sex with them and listeners get a special discount, 15% off your first order using code sex with Emily. Go check them out. You'll be obsessed. Let me know what you think. Okay, and then let's talk to Jen. He's she's 32 in Minnesota. Jen writes, hi Emily, here's my question. My husband and I have a great sex life. We love sex, I love exploring together.

I really like to have him choke me during sex, but he's scared of hurting me. We're fine with other BDSM play, but for some reason he's worried about the choking thing. Are there any tips or tricks or techniques that we could try? Thank you. Yes, this is a great question, you guys, because breath play, autorotic fixation and breath play are serious work, guys.

You have to know what you're doing when you want to choke your partner. I get that it's really hot. We see a lot in porn right now. And the thing about choking and the attraction to it, is that it really is more about a domination submission, like role playing, power play, than it is more than the not breathing. And so it's important to be conscious of this

and to be cautious of this, because maybe what you're looking for is maybe just more of the domination part of it. So first of all, you always wanna start with a light touch. So you can put his fingers on either side of your neck, like I neither side of your esophagus, not on the front of your neck where you could choke actually and stop breathing. And he could just do it really lightly and make sure, again, that his hands are not on your throat and maybe whisper something in your ear or just like use more aggression with his hands, grasp around your neck. Because

I think that people can just like do this wrong and I think that you want to be safe. You also want to make sure that you are using a clear mind, you're not using too much alcohol, too many drugs. You can also take a class, like there are classes online, you can take and like learn like what is the proper way to touch my partner's neck? Because you just want to start really gently,

like I said, either start with a suffigagus and figure out what pressure works for your partner. Because when you do push on the neck, that's where you gather the breath. You'll start coughing, it's not sexy and it's dangerous. So, play with his fingers around your neck and not blocking your pathways. I think that's the best way to do it. And I get why he's worried because he should be. Be careful, be mindful, play with it. So this next email comes to us from Chris, who's 26 in Illinois, he writes, hi Emily,

what does your take on couples who masturbate together? And how can I bring this up to a partner? Wow. Chris, hello. I'm so happy to get this question because I am obsessed with mutual masturbation, which I just talked about. I think it's amazing, and I think it, again, variety.

It's a way to connect with your partner. It's a two-for-actually because when you mutually masturbate with your partner, it's hot because you're actually looking at them please themselves. So it's hot. It's like visually stimulating, but then you're also learning. It's educational. I can't tell you how many times I've mutually masturbated with a new partner. It sounds funny, but I've had a lot of times where I'm like, oh, I didn't know that he put his

hands around his balls and then he takes his hand up and over the tip of his penis. So then I knew that that's where he's sensitive. He likes to go to my hand to go over it when I'm giving a hand job. And when you're looking at your, if you're with a female partner, like, oh, I didn't know that she put fingers inside of her. And so it's a very, I think it's a really sexy hot thing to do. That's one thing. So I'm a huge fan of her. And so it's a very, I think it's a really sexy hot thing to do. That's one thing. So I'm a huge fan of it. How you bring it up is outside the bedroom to your partner, talking about your sex life or whatever's happening and say, I've had these fantasies lately and I thought it'd be

so hot to see what you do when you masturbate, when you pleasure yourself and I could do it at the same time or I could just watch you. Would you be open to that? I think it would be really sexy to see what you do. I think that'd be hot. The best way to ease into it is if your partner says, no, I'm really embarrassed and really shy, because you're right that is the question that they're going to ask. They're going to, that's a common reaction. Is telling more what part about it makes you feel shy and getting some more information, getting some more clarifying questions. Well, I don't know. I feel like I don't really know and you wouldn't think I was sexy if I was doing it and you might judge me

if you might think it's weird. Okay, well, I'm telling you now, you know, okay, let them say that. Well, yeah, no, I think anything you do is hot. Like, I think watching you in pleasure and then I could learn more how to please you and I just think it'd be so sexy. And then I feel like, no, no, I think it's weird

or whatever, you could say, okay, well, maybe we could try it over our pants or maybe we could, I could do it and you could watch or maybe I could masturbate you, you know, just, or if they say, no, just say, okay, like bring it up again, maybe in another way. Like I think, ask getting a little bit deeper and getting some more clarifying questions around, and answers around why they don't want something would help. He's it along. We have Jeff who's 31 in New Jersey. He wants to know how he can ease his new girlfriend into the idea of wearing a strap on. Oh! There you go welcome. Hey Jeff thanks for calling. Did you like that wordplay? It'll ease on in? Yeah ease it on in maybe. I loved it. I love everything about this. Tell me more.

How long have you guys been together? Okay. So we've been dating about five months. She's great. You know, I love her to death. Beautiful, smart, and like the whole nine yards, but not very adventurous in bed. And again, five months is, you know, I don't know for the long or short, it's it's about time to talk about what you guys want in the bedroom. Yeah, and I kind of hinted at it and it was almost like a no-go. I tried to guide the finger there and it gets pushed away. I don't know if this is like a deal breaker or not.

Okay, here's the thing, Jeff. So you're 31 years old, a sheer age as well. She's 28. Okay. So here's the thing. You've been together five months. You know, I think you have to have the conversation about sex outside the bedroom.

Because if you're telling me she's not that adventurous, it's not that likely that she would be into it. You leading your finger toward your ass. Because she's, and it's, you loved it. Jeff, see, everyone's yelling at me for laughing, but I just think what stuff is funny in general? That stuff is funny, people love what I've done. No judgment, I just think it's funny.

Yeah, it is funny. Thank you. But Jeff, I think it's kind of like outside the bedroom, you could say, you know what, I'm so into you, I think you're how I love the sex that we're having, and I'd love to be such an amazing lover to you. So I want to know, would you be open to figuring out together what we could do to really turn you on,

take our sex life, you know, take your orgasm to the next level. Like make it about her pleasure, make it about all that and then we can kind of like ease into and this is what I would like. But I think the more that you open her up and she starts to feel safe with you and the only reason she's not adventurous

is because as you probably have some judgements around sex and being adventurous. It could be her religion or something happened to her, her friends are judging. We don't know, but she's not opening up it or that's probably it or it could just be that you know, she literally hasn't had enough experience on the planet. So she doesn't even know what it what's on the menu to be adventurous. So it's a matter of like you're gonna have to do another question. Okay, Jeff. When you guys, I don't know how old you are, but like when you were younger and stuff like that, was that something? Yeah, I've always had a younger woman not to say that I'm looking to date somebody 10 years older, but like you think is it an age thing? Like a juice, you know, the women or she may be still figuring that stuff out of this?

Well, I'd love to say yes. Well definitely younger women in their 20s early, you know, 20s who just, you know, haven't been having sex as long. There's definitely a learning curve for sure, but I'm telling you, I have women who call me every single night in their 40s, 50s, their 30s who still have not figured it out. Most women are not invested in their pleasure, they're not invested in their sexual health, their sexual wellness and their pleasure,

they don't even know it. So I would like to say it more skews younger, but we hear from people every single day. So but in this case, it might be that she's 28 years old. She hasn't been in a lot of relationships. And when she has, she was having a straight-old missionary in and out, guy pounding away, or like a jackhammer. We don't know, but I'm assuming that might have been

what's been going down with her. But also, I feel like a lot of men are adverse to butt stuff on themselves. And so it's like a conditioning that we adapt. Cause like there's guys that I've been with who are open about that and want that and then other guys are like very adverse to it even though they may like it if they tried it.

There's a judgment around it. For sure. But she could have been like absorbing that information unconsciously as well. 100% did, she's probably, cause you said she's not adventurous, she, you're a hundred percent right 70s. She probably has never, like, one guy answered that.

One of the biggest, I want to figure out. One of the biggest, but is he gay? Yeah. Um, that's so weird, you know, so she probably doesn't really understand it every single day on the show I'm informing people and I'm giving them the information to understand that like, yeah, guys got a prostate. They can have killer orgasms. It does not make you gay.

It just makes you smart. Okay, come on. Did you realize, whoa, shit, I can have another kind of orgasm? Like, if I was a dude, I'd be like, sum me up all the time. So if there is a big learning curve for this, Jeff. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ That's it for today's episode. See you on Friday.

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