Sex With Emily - Squirting Secrets w/ Deborah Sundahl

Episode Date: June 19, 2021

Who is ready for a hotter, wetter summer? Today, I’m joined by squirting expert, author, and educator Deborah Sundahl, a pioneer in female ejaculation and G-spot (or g-area) anatomy. Deborah and I discuss the difference between squirting and having an orgasm, a step-by-step guide to tapping into your squirting potential, where the G-spot (aka female prostate) is located and how to find it, and the best sex position to achieve a mind-blowing orgasm.We answer your top questions about how to squirt and what ejaculate consists of, and the best ways to make sure you and your partner can relax and experience all the pleasure and release of a full-body orgasm.Find Deborah Sundahl here: https://deborahsundahl.comFor even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Women have to know they have a prostate. All the studies done on women can orgasm and it takes us longer and you need 20 minutes of foreplay. This is the news when you relax and you just touch the prostate. It fires up like this, your arousal. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on days. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and live right. The conversation around sex. Today's show, wow, I love this interview with Deborah Sundal. She is a pioneer in female ejaculation and the G-Spot anatomy. We talk about the G-Spot or the G-Area.

As the female prostate, yes, it is true that vulva owners also have a prostate, which is connected to the skin's glands, and we get into all of that in this episode. We talk about where the G-Spot is, how to find it, and how to build up to a deep and satisfying internal orgasm. Yes, yes, we get into all of your questions.

I know what you're thinking, the difference between squirting and having an orgasm. What is female ejaculate? How to guide your partner to find all your hotspots? And the best positions to make sure you or your partner can relax and experience all that is the internal orgasm. You might want to listen to this episode twice and please note that I was talking to Deborah on Zoom and so in some areas she was actually walking me through. We both had our Volvo puppets up. She had a literal puppet and I had a Volvo puppet and we were looking at each other and she was really slowly and carefully showing me and explaining to me what happens in her workshops.

I think if you really listen to it, you're going to be able to pull out a mirror, take a look at your own vulva or a special vulva in your life and find your spots, look inside, take some time, breathe and go slow. So for each episode, join me in setting in intention. I do it. I encourage you to do the same. What do you want to get out of this episode? How could it help you? My intention is to let every vulva owner know, or if you have a vulva in your life, that you do have an internal G-spot or G-area as I like to call it, you can get to know it and especially enjoy it. Doesn't have to be a mystery.

Alright everybody, enjoy the show. Deborah Sundahl is the foremost expert in pioneer when it comes to female ejaculation and the G-Spot. She's the author of the seminal book, Female ejaculation in the G-Spot. She's the author of this seminal book, Female Ejaculation in the G-Spot. Her 35 years of groundbreaking contributions to this field include a line of videos titled, The Female Ejaculation Sex Education Series, which Deborah produces in hosts. She lectures and gives workshops in North America and Europe and has taught thousands of men and women in all genders how to integrate the G-Spot and female ejaculation

into their erotic lives. She continues to be a spokesperson for female sexuality and an advocate for sex education. You can find Deborah Sondal at DeborahSundal.com that's D-E-B-O-R-A-H-S-U-N-D-A-H-L. Welcome Deborah to the show. Thank you. Tell me first, Deborah, how you got into this work. Feminism. I'm a women's studies person, and I left there with my partner.

We moved to San Francisco because we wanted to create things around sexuality and there was nothing. Nothing. Yeah, there wasn't even any information on the clitoris then, right? No, there wasn't. What brought you towards the G-Spot and female ejaculation? Well, in 1984, we did a magazine called On Our Bags, which was the first magazine by women for women about sexuality. So that was our answer to Playboy. And so every topic imaginable on women's sexuality, we covered body image, gender bending. That's what we called it at that time SNM, fantasies, how to communicate,

that we called it at that time, SNM, fantasies, how to communicate, we covered it all. We had photographers, writers, nonfiction. We even had to create our own ads. And distribution was very minuscule because a lot of, we felt through the cracks. We weren't porn, but we were erotic. And nobody wanted that. Well, yeah, they still, I still fall through the cracks because now they want porn, but we were erotic. Nobody wanted that. Well, yeah, they still fall through the cracks because now they want porn. But what I'm thinking is in the last, so I've been doing this for over 15 years.

And I realize that in the last, probably 10 is when really the questions about female ejaculation or squirting have become more prominent, have become more popular. It's, I, I attribute it to the fact that you can now get porn on your smartphone and it's everyone's pocket. Have you seen a change? The last 10 years. The porn has put those topics, all kinds of sexual topics into the mainstream. So I would attribute it to porn.

Let's talk about what are the biggest misconceptions around female ejaculation. You you said, there's so much confusion around it. I can tell you, we have a bunch of questions that have come and two people want to know if it's urine, can every woman ejaculate? Why can't I? Is it real? You know, just all the things. Yes. So all women can ejaculate because the G-spot is the female prostate and female ejaculation is prosthetic fluid and all women have a prostate just like all men do. It's fully functional, just like the male prostate as a feminist and we're very used to hearing about diminished women's experiences. Well, this is a classic case.

Yeah, it is a classic case of this. So let's start with the G-Spot because in reading about your in-person seminars that you do in-person workshops, you actually sit with women in a room and you introduce them to their G-Spot and you teach them how to ejaculate. and I think that even the fact that you've been doing this for 30 years I've tell you some news that women Unless they've taken your workshop or they've done their own research. They still don't know how to find their G spot They still don't know. I mean, I'd love to say that it's changed. I don't know what the numbers were then But I still think it's really really confusing. I it the G area, because I think when you say spot, you're like, oh, it's this

one spot. So how would you describe how to find the G spot? G spot is an unfortunate name. It was a name after the famous book, the G spot by Wippell and Perry, sexologist and scientist. G spot is named after Grafenberg, the urologist from the 30s who knew about female ejaculation, who knew about the female prostate, but his work was ostracized. And so an academic tradition, Whipple and Perry built on his work and they're for named,

you know, named him on that cover of that book. Okay. Fortunately, GEO also stands for Goddess Spot. Oh, Goddess Spot is so much better. Yeah, I like Goddess Spot. Yeah. So people, I think there is all this confusion about, well, let's talk about the literal orgasm

versus the G Spot orgasm. How would you describe them? Well, first of all, G Spot is the female prostate. The female prostate surrounds the urethral canal. It starts at the outside opening of the body. And its 32 duxing glands are sprinkled along the urethral canal and the vaginal canal share the same wall, that means you can easily access the prostate through the roof of the vagina. You can easily feel it. It literally hangs down through the roof of the vagina.

It's a prostate. It's not the clitoris. The clitoris is primarily erectile tissue. We have the little nub on the outside of the body full of nerves. But as feminists, healthcare, nurses, Rebecca Schocker, and Susan Gage in 1982, redefined the clitoris.

They said, hey, it's not just a little nub on the outside of the body that feels so good. It's actually erectile tissue that extends four to five inches inside the body. They thought these women were nuts for 15 years. Well, now they've seen this structure in the cadaver. Right. Yes.

The stuff is little puppets. You can buy a little. Wait, women have made the. I have the vulva puppet. So you have the vulva puppet and this is clitty. I like the clitty puppet. I don't have the other puppet. Yeah.

But yeah, here's her little, you know, and here's her wings and her bulb. She has these parts of part that surrounds the urethra and a part that surrounds the vagina. Yeah. So the G spot is actually the female prostate plus its erectal tissue. Yeah. Is it kind of like internal, literal nerves in or would you just say even before that? It's a prostate, but I always tell people it it's all connected, I guess, is what I'm saying. It's all connected. You see, the clitoris has a different nerve than the G-spot. And again,

we get this from Wipple and Perry. That was one of two major discoveries they made and why they wrote a book. Okay, two nerve theory. The pedendal nerve goes to the clitoris penis. to nerve theory. The pedendal nerve goes to the clitoris penis. The pelvic branch of the vagus nerve goes to the prostate's male and female. Two different nerves, two different orgasmic experiences. So we all know the clitorial penis orgasm. Panty, fast emulation, whether it's for a guy on the penis or for the vibrator with the women, and hold your breath, and you have, you know, a good orgasm, you clench up your body, and sure, it's a good orgasm. G-spot, prostate orgasms, okay, are the opposite. Long, slow breaths because we're dealing with the vagus nerve, okay, which I'll explain

in a minute. But it's long and slow breathing. You relax instead of clenching. Do not vibrate. The prostate, it is an organ of the body. And if you vibrate it, you kind of click in that pedendal nerve. And so it's not so easy to access that G-spot nerve if you're vibrating away. Also you move the body, okay? Because you're building this huge orgasm, which is full body starts in your toes,

spreads up your legs, makes your legs shake. I mean, it comes out your head. You can see stars. It's a powerful physical orgasm. It's not your bliss orgasm where, you know, if you're in touch or Eastern traditions, you're doing the circulating breath, which is mostly from the pelvis up, from the stomach up, okay, and you can kind of ride this wave of energy or gasm. No, I'm talking as a feminist body, as a woman thighs, right? Burthing, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, Sounds good doesn't it does sound good and do you think that so where do we start with that? You know where I start with that I start with the anatomy. Yes my power points are anatomy Women have to know they have a prostate. I mean we have a missing body part All the studies done on oh women can orgasm and it takes us longer and you need 20 minutes of foreplay. This is the news. When you relax and you just touch the prostate, you know, it fires up like this, you're

a rousal. Our a rousal is accessible. It's immediate and it's powerful. We just have not known. We have a prostate and we haven't known how to touch her. So in reading your book and I have not take your workshop, but you talk about this workshop where the women take a mirror because I'm always telling them

to just take a look at their volva. But I don't often talk about them going inside, but how you push out your pelvic floor and you can see the ridges of your G spot. Yes, and all women who are listening to this, you can do this. This is your homework. Can I tell you? Is you sit down on the floor, you need a mirror.

Not not your little lipstick mirror, ladies. Okay, nice big eight inch mirror, prop it up on a stand or lay it against a pillow, which you place as you sit on the floor between your legs. Then two fingers on each hand, place them gently one on each labia, slowly spread your labia part, push out with your pelvic floor muscles and see if you can see the ridges, the famous ridges of your G spot. Okay. Some women will see their... literally. Some women just do that and they're like, oh there it is and they're completely shocked.

Some have said, I thought that was a pro-lapse.. It's like, it's not. Okay, this is alarming, I know, but it does happen. Maybe we'll get into that later. Maybe we won't, but, you know, but other women, they're going to have to practice this three, five times, you know, take a break, try it again, because number one, for many women, well, they've never did this before. Some women never even looked at their evolve before. And then some women haven't really used their pelvic floor muscles to push out like that. So right away, you have three things you've never done before. You just practice, ladies, that's all. Keep at it. And some women have more

meaty or smaller labia. And so it's a little harder to pull apart or it's a little, you have to peer a little deeper in if they're more meaty. But all you have to do, you can see it is push out. Look for that your rethral canal, because remember the prostate surrounds your rethral canal, it's right there, the outside of the body, from the outside, just two inches in. So look for that your rethra, and then when you push, you're going to see her peat out from underneath that year rethra and then when you push you're going to see her peek out from underneath the year rethra you'll start to see her little ridges. Hmm. So you see her little ridges and then and then what do you do there? You see it come out. I think everyone has to do that. That's all. That's all.

I just want to see it. Okay. First step is they said it don't exist. Well guess what? You just saw it. It's a prostate. Okay. First step is they said it don't exist. Well guess what? You just saw it. It's a prostate. Okay. Suddenly you're changed. We're talking about confidence. We're talking about yes, I know where my G spot is. I've seen it. Has every woman been able to have a G spot orgasm from your class? Yes.

Yes. Oh my God. Oh my God. Because they get to know her. She's not vague. People have said you don't exist. It's like, you don't exist. She has a little, you know, she doesn't exist. She's not real. I can't do it. Oh, right. She's broken. It's like, oh my gosh. This is the work that people, we all need to do it. I mean, I do this in grad school, but not to this degree, so this is incredible.

All right, we're going to take a quick break. Thank you for sporting our sponsors who help keep this show free. When we come back, I S Debra, if all vulva owners can ejaculate. Let's talk about why women, this isn't happening through penetration. It could. Oh, that's... Tell me your perspective on that, why so many women don't, because they've denied it, they haven't looked for it.

Mostly again, the speed. Yes. This is the vaginal orgasm. This is what the vaginal orgasm is. It's the G spot. And women haven't had the vaginal orgasm because they're going too fast. Yeah, to slow down to have that orgasm is we just said with the biggest nerve, got to go slow.

To slow, right? And so for some women who maybe are having orgasms that way, it's probably rubbing, I was just like, your clitoris is maybe rubbing on your partner and that's what's going to happen, but it's not internal. It's not the D spot. It's slow, like slow, slow, slow. It's slow, like slow, slow, slow. If anything's in the vagina, fingers, toy, penis, you're stimulating the prostate. You cannot not stimulate it. It's right there on the roof. So it's always getting stimulated. It's just, it's numb to out, due to the way we make love in Western culture, which is to ram ram ram ram. So we're talking like slow, well slow and steady, slow and steady, rhythmic in and out. That's how you breathe and relax, move your body, you know, with the rhythm. So it's a dance, it's not a mechanic. It's an art,

right? So it's body talk. Okay, so it's not your mind saying, but you please hurry up. You know, nothing happens. I want you to do this, that, the other other thing is like, no, you have to breathe. You have to move your body. This is think of the word build. You build building pleasure throughout your body. And you do that with the breath and the movement, right? And this is basic tantra. Actually, this is where tantra enters the picture with the G-spot orgasm is

tantra teaches to move your body to breathe because what they're doing is they're breathing this arousal pleasure all around the body They're feeling really they say they're feeling their cells with pleasure. You are their cells with pleasure. And you are. You are. Yes. You just build it until you just, you have that orgasm. Those muscles are going to push out.

Those powerful pelvic floor muscles are going to push out. And you'll just explode into an orgasm. Yeah. And you push out. It wants to push out whatever in your vagina. Right. So take the toy out. Take the penis out.

That's it. That's exactly like my kind of orgasms too. You push out, but we always think, oh, it should be happening with the penis or what's a good position for this if we're talking about penetrative sex? What do you, what do you, best to learn is to kneel next to your bed, place your upper torso on the top of your bed, or stand up, place your upper torso on maybe counter height or even a table. So that your upper torso is supported and secure because you got to move your hips and you do it from behind. Yeah.

Oh, do it from behind yourself. Yeah. Head is straight up. Because you're supporting your upper body. So it's secure and you're lying on one arm. So you're free here to do it from behind or even from in front. Even if you're with the partner, what if you're with the partner?

Same position. Okay, same position from behind. And women are moving their hips, women are feeling that pleasure. Yeah. And they have more control too because they can also jump off the penis. Okay, this is so great.

I wanna go back, there's so much here. There is, can I just say that for a minute? There is a lot to it. It is not a simple little thing, but it's also not hard and I make it accessible. You really do make it accessible. And this is the area where I I just think it's it's hands on literally and it's just rewiring our brains around what is possible. I mean, I, again, I know this because I've taken the work with so many of us having or we just focus on the clitoris. So let's get to squirting because I know a female ejaculation.

We asked our Instagram and we got like 50 questions within like 20 minutes. So when you squirt, does that mean you orgasmed? Orgasm and ejaculation are two different functions. Ejaculation is a release of fluid. Orgasm is as we know, pleasure. So and you could also orgasm without ejaculating and you can ejaculate without orgasm. Yes. Okay. You can ejaculate before orgasm during orgasm or after orgasm or not

ejaculate at all. Right. So can all women squirt? That's the next question. All women can ejaculate because all women have a prostate. Female ejaculation is prosthetic fluid. Therefore all women can ejaculate if you want to. Okay. Are there certain positions to hit the G-spot better? The best position to hit the G-spot is to know where she is located. Find her right, then you'll know your best position. Exactly. You position yourself. Exactly. So this brings me to the next question. I have a hard time explaining to my boyfriend exactly how to hit my G spot and then actually make me squirt using his hands. Can you explain in simpler terms? Well, that's like Nancy backward and high heels. I mean, he doesn't need to use his hands for you to ejaculate. That's

his hands for you to ejaculate. That's something that porn started and it's gotten way out of control. I mean, he uses his penis. That's why a man's got a penis, you know. So mostly he just needs to slow down. And when you're ready to ejaculate, he needs to come out of your vagina, your pelvic floor muscles are going to push them out because your body is full of ejaculate. Your muscles are just going to take over and push it out. That penis has to come out. Most women cannot ejaculate with something in their vagina. 30% of women like the on top position and they, for some reason, can ejaculate in the on top position. Yes.

But most women can't. Right. Because they're not doing that. Exactly. Because then it's kind of coming out of you. My wife can only squirt through oral. How can I help her do it during intercourse? Awareness.

Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Awareness. Use the penis, no one want your touch in with your penis and awaken penis on an awakened g spot is going to be electric. How to get over the feeling that I'm going to pee and stop that sensation.

So this is why we don't do it because we're so afraid we're going to pee. So how do we touch that? That's right. We mistake the urge to ejaculate for the urge to pee. How do we know we just practice? We've been told that female ejaculation doesn't exist, so if we feel that pee urge, what else is it? It's pee.

Well, because we haven't known that, no, it's ejaculate. And as you ejaculate, you get to distinguish between the two, but it is subtle. If you are a rouse, and you're having intercourse of one type or another, penis, toy, fingers, and you feel that urge to pee. That is the urge to ejaculate. Just let go.

Let it flow. Let go and let it flow. And if it is, well, how about this though? What's the liquid made of and where does it come from, a women's sport? Everyone wants to know, is it pee? Isn't it pee? There's been all these studies. And I'm always like, who the hell cares? Does it feel good? No, it's howled down. That's right. I don't get caught up in it. But

you tell me what would we will ask you, what is it made of? Is it pee? What's your answer to that? Gmail, Jack, it is prosthetic fluid. Therefore, it's 90% prosthetic fluid in 10% glucose. What's in prosthetic fluid? just the same as what's in the male, prosthetic fluid, it's the food, and the nutrients, and the protective environment, I.E. alkaline, for the sperm, when they get their way to the egg. Okay, so is female ejaculation?

That is its biological function, is to protect that sperm. So it's full of vitamins, nutrients. So what about the traces of urine? I'm just going to ask. Oh, that happens sometimes. I mean, mostly women who are first learning, if you have traces of urine, don't worry about it. The best analogy isn't the the prettiest, but you know, it's like a palm that needs to be primed. And I mean the water that first comes out isn't the best looking. Be nice to yourself. Just forget about the whole urine thing until you have this working in your body.

Also, women are pushing too hard. They want that ejaculate to come out. And so they're pushing too hard. So it's better to relax, let it slowly build. And then it'll just kind of come out of the body. Yes. Yes. So how about this? How should you talk about it with a partner and prep for cleanup in a way that's still sexy? I get a lot of the clean up questions and it's too messy. Do you have any recommendations? Well, this is a thing with when you ejaculate, you've got to prepare. We don't always want to prepare for sex. And you step hang ups around it like,

oh my God, if I prepare, I spoil the mood. Well, you get one of those beautifully female ejaculation blankets, invest in that, and throw it on the bed. It's beautiful and comfortable, And that's what you do. Yeah. And then you put in the wash. That's right. Build the ejaculate along with the pleasure.

You can actually feel that the ejaculate building in your body. Sometimes it goes out. That it's just like the tide. It just went out. It doesn't mean it's not there. It's there. And it's going to come back in with more pleasure, you know, until one just explodes out with the orgasm.

The biggest obstacle to women not ejaculating is the sphere of letting go, the sphere of pee. Yeah. Okay. That's the biggest obstacle. The second obstacle. Well, that has to do it. The orgasm is letting the wild woman out. This is not your tiny Victorian orgasm. No, we're like, it's those deep, federal, yeah. Women around with the wolves, you know, that great book by a youngian analyst, Claire Sepinkola, Estee, women around with the wolves. This is your wild woman, you know, and that Vegas nerve is emotional by nature So it's also an emotional orgasm. You got to scream. You're gonna Emote your pleasure, you know, and sometimes you can yeah, I laugh and cry and it's emotional women love that that's there That's it. It's a release. Yeah, it is emotional I feel like as I've gotten more accepting

and as I've matured to my life, my orgasms are so much louder and so much more powerful. Right. You have to be with a partner that, like that's the thing. It's like we, you have to be with someone that you feel safe with that you can let go and trust.

And if you're not and you're worried they're gonna judge you and there they have judged you, then that might not be your person. That's right. So therefore you can't say I can't do this. It's like no That's not totally accurate. You just don't have the right circumstances. Right. It's a circumstances of patience at time and partner and the right partner. So we could read an email from somebody having 45 New Jersey. I want out my younger girlfriend in her 20s had to be a vaginal squirtor. She wants to do this for me

and I want to help her. Where can I learn this technique and help my partner achieve it? And then we got another one from a man and a lot of men want their partners to do it. It's all that these men's obsession but their partners have to be on board with it and it starts with the role.

That's right. That's right. Sometimes guys, you know, it's not a shiny new toy, you know, and sometimes their woman will ejaculate and they want her to do it over and over and over again because you stimulate the prostate. It's a crease. It's a secretion gland, you know,

so you can ejaculate over and over again, but hey, you know, the same as shiny new car. This is an organ of the body. So like, be respectful, lay off. You know, this is also inherently about connection with your partner. This is about love. This is about love and ladies, especially the younger ladies, respect your body. Don't give in to that male pressure to perform for them. So like forget it, chill. Tell them to get into their own prostate, okay? Exactly.

And someone else says it's squirting orgasm, the best orgasm you can give a woman. Yes. You say yes. Yeah. It's pretty amazing when it happens and I haven't been this conscious about it. But I really saw it from our early on. It's like it's really just starting with that, with slowing down.

It's not going to, me maybe it'll magically happen through in a course, but I don't know. It really is this snowing. You got to learn how to drive the car first. You could go out, you got to learn the, how the machinery got to look under the hood. Let's talk about penis size for a second because people think it has to be a very large penis that's gonna, and it's not.

Some women like pressure, you can have a large penis. It'll apply pressure on the G-spot that will feel good but let's get clear that's just pressure that she's liking she could also learn how to enjoy the massage massage let's not call it stimulation because that's like connected to the fast buzzing let's call call it massage to the cheese spot with the penis Yes, it is a massage. That's how it happens after the break Deborah walks be through how to find your cheese spot be right back Okay listeners, this might be a little repetitive, but Deborah, say I'm at one of your workshops. How do you actually help all the owners find their G spot? I take them through like a meditation practice to slowly identify the head, the body, and

back of the prostate with their finger. I'm like you saw it now with your eye. Now slowly go around the meaty area that surrounds the urethral canal. Put your finger very slow, very tender. Everybody wants to rub it and go really fast. It's like, guess what? Millimeter by millimeter. Ever so slow.

Well, everything changes when you do that. And from the urethra, then you go with your finger slowly down to the vaginal opening. That's all the prostate under that tissue there. So it's just at the opening and just two inches in. What is that? That's the first knuckle. Yeah. You will think it's so deep in a hat. Yeah. Right. We're going way in there and pounding away at her. Like, no! This is what I've been saying for years.

The pounding pounding, it's not deep inside, out of the belly button. It is an inch and a half to two inches inside, and I think people are still even going in. They don't get what that is up to your knuckle. And then when I discovered mine, I was like, oh, it's just right. It's literally like, it's that, why we always say that, come ahead, their motion is because it's like going toward your belly button. It's like

that little, you just feel it's right there. It's like on the, it's right there. It's like it's like it's, yes, it's right there. We thought it was this tiny spot that's somewhere in the deep oceanic recesses of the vagina was a spawn and some women had it and some women didn't. And only the right man will come along and find it for us and blast us off the planet. No, it's just a total myth. To total myth. Oh, we gotta find it first.

He'll be like, oh, we gotta teach sex ed. And when women come to me first, like, oh, how do I be a great lover? I'm like, first, you gotta do the work on yourself. When you become a master of your own body in your own domain, then you can share that with a partner. Or you find a partner, and I love it in your book, Female Adjaculation,

and the G-Spot, you could do it with a partner. Like there are tips in here to do it with a partner, but if you don't have a partner, your partner's not in, I think it's less pressure, perhaps, it's on your own. So now we're inside and we've seen it peek out, and then we you're just saying, we touch it with a finger, then you'll become more. Yes, because it's a process of awareness

Once you know and see and have felt with your finger Okay, I saw this G-spod stick out Now I shut my eyes and I locate that with my finger I feel what it's like to touch it with my finger. And I feel what it's like to have a finger touch my G spots body. Right. This is all awareness. I do not go fast.

Right. I take women through this very slowly. I don't think I even ever really looked at my vulva puppet in this way that like, there's exactly. I never knew I vulva puppets, jeez, but I just, I know. We find our jeez, but no pressure orgasm or to ejaculate, but no, this is awareness. Awareness. The first day is awareness.

We're finding it. We have a bit of a way to go to orgasm yet. We have performance issues. We have impatience issues. We have to go, we are trained to go really, really fast. We want that pleasure now. We want this now. It's like, nope.

Okay, so we're articulating something that has not had a name. It doesn't exist. That is what I do. We're gonna articulate this millimeter by millimeter, you will have no doubt about your G-spot after that. You will own her forever. That's empowerment, yes, me.

Think so too, get responsible for your own orgasm. We are responsible for it. I mean, I gotta be, I rushed through it some times too. If I'm asking you, yes, you will feel more because you're relaxed. That's the thing to do. You're relaxed. Yeah, we're go oriented and get me there. But yeah. Yeah. When more woman relaxes, she feels the rousals, something like that. Yeah, it's true. Because it's okay to go fast. There's more. Yes, there is more.

So then we find this, we're still going here. We're still on it. And then we start to get a route. It starts to swell, right? It will, it will, but it's not instant. This is just awareness and location. So we're just going to locate her inside the body now. Inside the vagina just with the first knuckle. So that we know that body, okay, I can feel her

ridges. Oh, and she kind of hangs down through the roof of the vagina like a half moon. hangs down through the roof of the vagina like a half moon. So on each side of that half moon is kind of like the little canal he's like all of them. So you know okay I can feel on each side where she hangs down and now I'm starting to notice oh the body's kind of squishy. Oh, in the temperature, temperature is cool. Some women it's warm, some women it's hot. What is the temperature? And what's the texture? Is it rough, is it smooth, is it rough like a cat's tongue?

So we noticed this temperature, texture. We all have a G-spot, just like we noticed this temperature texture. We all have a G spot, just like we all have a nose. But everybody's nose is kind of different. But the nose is in the same place on the face. The G spot is in the same place in every single woman on the planet. Say, and so, so that's the body. And so we go a little farther back, staying connected to her. By that I mean, don't lift up your fingers.

Stay connected so you know where you are at. Okay. And as you go, I'm knuckle and a half back, your finger's gonna start to curl. And it's gonna curl around the back as this organ and hangs down through the roof of the China Sea. Now here's the thing. On the back, you can have either round and firm or you can have one that's ramp shaped and fluffy. And I mean fluffy like clouds fluffy. So we go back now millimeter by millimeter from the body

ever so slow millimeter by breathe and relax relax our body Relax our fingers we carry so much tension relax relax now millimeter. Oh right now. I'm coming to the back Oh, yeah, my G spots brown and firm. What about your G spot? Emily is yours ramp shaped and fluffy like cotton candy. I think it is a little bit more fluffy like cotton candy. Yeah, it can be amazing feeling of fluffiness. Yeah, you've noticed the structure there. We noticed the temperature was hot.

And mine is hot. Could be cool for another lady. And so then we slowly, ever so slow. Draw our finger from the back across the body ever so slow. And then we slowly come out, let our finger fall from the vagina ever so slow. And then we cup our vulva with our hand. Love the cupping. Yeah, I use wax our vulva into our hands. Okay, and then we send our G-spot, our beautiful prostate.

Big thank you with the breath. Yeah, now we slowly come back into our space here. Sure, you know, you can go right for it, but I'm not teaching that. Emily, I'm teaching tenderloving care because she needs that. I'm teaching that. I'm teaching the slow way down

because that's what the vagus nerve needs. The vagus nerve is the meditation nerve. Right. The antidote to the fight and flight. So that vagus nerve slows us way down. That's why we breathe and relax. So that's the nerve that goes to the prostate. That's the orgasm you're going to have is from this powerful vagus nerve from just continuing and breathing and stroking. Debra Sundahl, your book is female ejaculation and the G-spot. So everyone should get this book. We're going to put it in the show notes so people can buy your book.

But tell me, people can still take your classes right now. Are you doing them virtually? Are you going to be doing them in person? Oh, yeah. I've been doing them online. Mm-hmm. Okay. As soon as we're able, we can start up again with workshops. I would love to have how many women can be in a workshop.

I think 18 is the best. If I have good assistants, I can do more, but I like to give women more personal attention and not just big things. Deborah, you're incredible. You are the goddess here. And this things. Deborah, you're incredible. You are the goddess here. And this is incredible work that you're doing. And I want. Oh, it's great, Emily.

No, thanks. Yeah, thank you. Oh, glad you're there. It's incredible. And there aren't many women doing, I'm talking about it specifically, but you are doing the hands-on work and teaching women. I always say what responsible for our own orgasm.

Oh, I have to ask you the five questions we ask all of our guests, too. Okay. Okay. Number one, they're just quicky questions, they're quick. So what's your biggest turn on? The G-spot. Did I just say no? Did I just say no?

Did I just turn off? Fast. Yes. What makes good sex? Eye connection. What would you tell your younger self about sex and relationships? Slow down. I'm both couched.

What do you wish everyone knew about sex? That women have a prostate and that it's just overflowing with pleasure and effervescent ejaculate. Thank you so much, Deborah for being here. You're welcome. How can people find you the best way to find you is on your website, www.debrasundale.com. That's correct.

www.debrasundale.com. S-U-N-D-A-H-L. And this will all be in our show notes. Thank you for being here. You're quite welcome. Pleasure. Happy your gas. Happy your gas. That's it for today's episode.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to podcasts and share this with a friend or a partner. Believe me, if you got something out of this episode, they will too. We released two to three episodes a week, find me at Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. It's all at Sex with Emily. If you'd like to ask me a question about sex or dating relationships, email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com or sexwithemily.com slash Ask Emily. And check out my website. We have so many great articles that I've been deep into topics like

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