Sex With Emily - Stripper Pole Tricks & Oral Sex Tips

Episode Date: October 26, 2016

On today’s show, Emily is joined by guest co-host Joanna Angel and they’re tackling all your sex, love and relationship questions! Are you and your lover not on the same page when it comes to full-time monogamy? Feeling frustrated by your inability to orgasm with a partner? Perhaps you’re just hoping to pick up some tips for spectacular cunnilingus? Emily and Joanna have all the answers you need to put your sex concerns to bed (pun intended), plus advice on hot topics like threesomes, pole-dancing and secrets to sexual confidence. Don’t miss it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show I'm joined by guest co-host Joanna Angel and we're answering all of your love and sex questions. Need to know what to do when your partner wants to explore her sexuality? Are you struggling to stick with long-term monogamy? Feeling frustrated about your lack of orgasm? We've got answers. Plus, one of my favorite topics, tips for mind-blowing connoingus. Enjoy the show!

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Go to my store on sexwithelmie.com and shop the entire Joe collection, including the amazing natural love USDA certified organic family. Couldn't be any easier. Buy Joe Loop for now, take the survey to create my dream loop for later. It's all on sexwithm that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta have a stand. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Avaline? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I'm gonna feel so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, A know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information go to sexwithemily.com where you can find out all the ways to connect with us.

It's actually sex with Emily across the board on all social media, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook.com, sex with Emily, gosh, just everywhere. And we also really appreciate when you subscribe to the show. It really, really helps the show. And I'll make sure life easier. And also when you review us on iTunes, we love that too. So yeah, thanks everyone for tuning in

and I'm so excited to have Joanna back as my co-host today. Hi Joanna. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? You look so beautiful. Oh, thank you. You look beautiful. Thank you.

Have you been? Doing okay. It's been like a super busy month. What's going on? I've just been doing a lot of appearances. It comes and goes. Right. And I'm 35 years old.

I don't know how much longer these appearances are gonna last for. Come on. Come on. I don't say no to anyone. Who's that? Everyone's going to be doing an angel. For people who might not know who Joanne Angel is a Tom,

but who you are. Who I am. Who are you Joanne Angel? I call myself a porn entrepreneur. Porn entrepreneur, that's amazing. Okay, I love it. I guess I am a director and performer, company owner of a company called Burning Angel. In the adult industry, and I've been here for about 13 years.

Yeah, geez, times goes by so fast. I know for about 13 years. Yeah, geez. It feels long time. It's so fast. I know. Burningagels.com. Got to check it out. And Instagram at JoinAgell Twitter at JoinAgell. And you put a lot of sexy photos and what's going on with you

if they want to come see what's your next appearance. I will be, oh, it's going to be a crazy weekend. Friday night on October 28th, I'm going to be in New York at Sapphire It's a strip club and I'll just be there for one night and then the next day I take a plane and I fly to Vegas fun and I'm going to be at Chateau the nightclub I'm get there of Saturday night and then October 30th and 31st I'm at the Hustler Club. Oh, here? Oh, no. In Vegas. Vegas, okay. Oh, that's fun, Halloween.

Yeah, yeah, it's all me in Vegas, all of Halloween. Okay, so that doesn't suck. No, that doesn't want to be there. You should come. I know. I would give you a lap dance. You would? I could give you a lap dance.

Can we talk about that for a, do you do lap dances? I do lap dances. Okay, well, I have to tell you about my weekend that I just had. Did you go to a strip club? I did, no. I went to Sheila Kelly's S-Factor retreat. Do you know Sheila Kelly? I don't know.

Okay, so like 17 years ago, she started S-Factor. Remember when all the pole dancing studios were popping up and the suburbs were going, I'm going to get into my body. But she's really about women, our point is like women accepting their body, their femininity, their sexuality. And I just, you know, we've been talking about collaborating and some things,

and I just wanted to go experience it. And it was pretty cool. It was in Long Beach. I've never been to Long Beach either. As you know, I don't know my geography. I know, do you think not that far away? No, I don't really, I live two blocks away. And I go from my home to target to the office then

Occasionally home whole foods Like in this to the block radius. Yeah, the gym But yeah, so it was just really interesting and teaching about just women, you know getting into your body It's flying the curts. It's all S called S curve And it's about following the curves of your body and just all these women and these amazing stories about empowerment And it's the way they moved on the polls like can you do the whole poll thing? I can you know I used to be better at it. I've say I've been dancing for a long time I mean I guess yeah I

Dance before I got into the adult industry for a little while and then I kept dancing and Then now I've been featured dancing for a long time. Okay, so I'm not quite as good as I used to be because when I dance now I just go and I'm there for like two days. Right. And then I leave, you know, like a featured dancer. Right. When you are a featured dancer. I want to go see a featured and get it. I would love to get it. When you are a featured dancer, you only go on stage twice.

So when you are a house dancer, you're on stage all my practice. So when I was a house dancer, when it was slow, I used to just go on stage and practice pole tricks. I had like a pole in my apartment and I did take a couple pole classes. Okay. But now that when I dance, I'm only on stage twice and I'm not going to try out a new trick. Right. When it's like, I got my dance. And then put all the smoke machine. Right. Exactly. But you're welcome. You know, so I play it safe. But I can really, like with my eyes closed, like, no matter how drunk I am, I can very perfectly do two poll tricks.

Oh, I just do those two token ones. I'm gonna get one to be honest. And I'm gonna be honest. Oh, really? I know it's one of those things if I would have stuck with it. I probably could have been really good. Right.

Like I had a natural ability and I'm really good. Because I like I had a strong ability and I'm pretty strong and I like doing it, but I just you know, but here's one of those things. Totally, but here's the thing that I learned that these women are like, you know, it's really about, you know, getting feeling sexy and so much so many women shut down our femininity. We don't even know what it means to feel sexy and to be sexy. And even myself, I be a sexual person and I know I have a sexy. I feel like day to day life sometimes I might not be putting it out there. Drinking in general is about feeling sexy. Right.

Pulling on saying is about having up her body strength. Right, right, right. Well, stripping in general, you need both. Yeah. So it's, this is, it was more, it was actually, I was in the pull for five seconds. It was more about the strip movements. You know, that like following the acrylic. So you must have, I mean, you do it on your side and everything.

Yeah, I do it all the time. It is. It's a, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, That's the thing. And people don't look at that side of it. I'm not saying that. I had no idea what to do the first time I went on stage. I was super awkward. I was like, I don't know what to do. And someone was like, just pick your favorite song and just dance. And dance slowly, though, right? I mean, and then move your body. I actually, I dance kind of fast.

I look like a crazy person. But that's my own sexuality coming out in its own way. There's no right way to do it. Flip my hair around a lot. Yeah. Stick my fist in my mouth. and I kind of drool all over myself That's not dude. Can we see the crazy of there? Yeah, I felt like I could and you're your eyes aren't really open I felt like I could get into it. It's a really cool. Yeah, and I just It's fun. I want to do it. I really do like I'm not

I'm not a lot of it's just like music that makes you feel sexy Well, that's different for everyone Exactly. It happens to be like metal like makes me feel like I think it's just like music that makes you feel sexy. And that's different for everyone. Exactly. And for me, it happens to be like metal, like makes me feel like, I think because when I was younger, I used to like master me and watch like hair metal videos on MTV.

So I think that was like, I think the first thing I ever got a rouse by was like G6. And that's a big one. That's a big one. That's your only stage. When I like dance, I like to get that like out of me. I just put on metal because it like makes me feel like right like just like like I own this place, you know, like like I don't know It just brings the slut out. I don't know. It's not really like putting on the weekend or really slow

I like hip-hop I realized I didn't know it until she would play songs and you go up to the song The made you feel good and I was like, oh my god, this is my song Yeah, so it was it's all about whatever song. It brings it out of you. It brings it out of you. And I learned so much. I thought it was very cool. I thought it could be a really helpful. It's called S Factor. They have it all of the country. And you gotta let go. Let go. You gotta just like go. And the good thing was, I mean, when I did first start dancing, I was like, I don't know what to do. And then I just remember someone there was like, as long as you're naked, no one here is gonna give a shit. If you're

a good dancer or not. And I think that was like a nice safe zone for me. Where I was like, okay. As long as I get naked at some point, no one's gonna care. Exactly. It was their probably like, take it off and you're naked yet.

Or are they directing you? No, they really don't care. I mean, you know, when you're strippered all the money makes really up to you. So no one really cares if you don't make anything, you know? Right. So I just kind of figured it out And I made it up as I went along and it really does feel great

It it does it felt so great and I love all the women and so I'm gonna get a strip of I'm really our Madison. We're gonna get a pop I think that's my thing. Yeah, we're gonna do it. What song? I don't know it's like some Kanye song. I can't remember what it was She was like I loved it. I was like oh my god. This is it. I wouldn't know I could see it She was like, I loved it. I was like, oh my god, this is it. I wouldn't have known. I could see it. And she talks about these erotic archetypes. Like we all have our own like erotic creature.

And that we are, that we like, we figure out what it is. And I didn't know what mine was. But then I figured out that mine is the, that's fine. Yeah, what is it? OK, hold on, I'm going to find it out. There's, this is what, this might not make sense everybody, but there's's the joyful playmate. So what she does is she takes all of your emotions,

because no emotions are bad, right? So if we've got, there's basically 10 emotions. We've got love, joy, surprise, nurturing courage. Those are like light emotions, dark emotions, sadness, fear, anger, shame, disgust. And then she goes into these, she had people go on stage, because she's got all these dancers, and these women who work for, you know, who are

BIM there and they all like showed what that meant. And so there was the joyful playmate. They're like light, celebratory, playful. There's the naughty provocateur that's more about shame and rebellion. Rebellious provocative. It's like the way you dance. Chubblemaker. There's the dangerous challenger. If you're like angry, steaming, mad, raging, killer be killed. Deep soulful siren, you know, kind of like soulful music, magnetic, soulful, deep well of emotions of the women that would gather much more like, like feeling things. Right now. And then there was the shy reluctant ignigma fear, tentative shy vulnerable mysterious, but they're all sexy and they're all sexy and they're all

sexy feeling sexuality. It's true. So I am the naughty provocateur. Apparently. Nauti provocateur. So what does that mean? It means like I'm rebellious, provocative, troublemaker.

Yeah. Wants shame. I could some sort of like naughty provoking, I guess. Yeah. Maybe you're more dangerous. You think, Chandler, what would you be? Yeah, be? Are you soulful? I don't see I see it's more like a mad raging because you're like, because you're

like heavy metal. You'll probably want the I wish I could think of the songs that went with all these. Anyway, it was a fascinating journey to like the feminine because we so many ways that we do shut down the feminine energy, you know, our we do society does. And so it was interesting for me. So I'm now going to accept your lap dance and maybe I'll do one for you. Yeah.

But also it is Halloween. So all month long, we have been taking the freak out of freaky sex. Because freaky, Halloween, we know all that. But we are saying like people feel like freaky is bad. And there's so much shame, confusion, embarrassment are all people into behind closed doors. They always want to know if they're normal and I don't want anyone to feel bad about what turns them on. We are looking, you know,

we all month long, like, she's a human can explore. There's a sexuality as long as it's legal. As long as it's legal and it makes you feel good and I heard anybody or yourself fetish fantasy, you know, so check out our website and blog, we still have a week left and we're doing a month on giveaway. Just email us what's your hottest fantasy, like that one thing that just really started to do, that one thing, or that, or your go-to thing that you think about when you're masturbating, which I'm going to ask you in a minute. So email us feedback at sexwithelm.com for a chance to win one of the sexy, three sexy prizes. One will be a magic one original. Who doesn't want that if you don't have one?

Da. Okay, so do you, we've been talking a lot about this about how, again, a lot of us have core erotic themes, it's kind of like these erotic creatures, but we have things that we, our go-to fantasy that we've had for a while or that maybe it's changed over time, like when you're masturbating or getting turned on

is there like an image or a scene, even if it's something you don't want to happen, but do you have like a go-to? Um, is it, is it say something about my personalities? I usually... No? I think about, I mean I, I guess a lot of people do that, where you kind of like a little a spank bank, you know? Yeah, totally. You go back to like a memory. So you go back to something that's happened in the past?

Yeah, I go back to something that's happened in the past. Right. I don't imagine a fantasy that hasn't come that hasn't happened. But I'm also fortunate where I've had a lot of fantasies. You've had a lot of fantasies in my life. I think when I was really young, you know, before I had lunch to think about, I would just think about like scenes and like stupid 80s movies. Right, right, exactly.

But you've had an active mind like that. Like a lot of, I didn't really. Like I've had to really work on, I mean, I get turned on, but I don't have a go, think about women. Like I always like lesbian porn, girl and girl. Like that's kind of my, but there's not. Do you have a life to lesbian porn? Yeah.

Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah, don't allow to women. Yeah, I do. It's kind of made, that's my go-to always. But like, yeah, but I'm trying to elaborate on it. I'm trying to explore. Yeah. I'm't a lot of women. Yeah, I do. It's kind of made that's my go-to always but like yeah, but I'm trying to elaborate on it I'm trying to explore. Yeah, I'm doing a lot. This has been my year of I'm taking like training Somatica therapy to tell you about this it's sex therapy training. You know go in San Francisco next week

It's really interesting. It's a whole nother thing I've been learning I've just been you know you're learning you're just like you've evolved you've been doing yours for 13 years Your companies changed a lot. Yeah, you know you were performing mostly and now you're directing and before you know. So I'm just like taking pole dancing. Yeah. You're learning like all different sides. Yeah. The sex. I think it's really interesting.

But I think what, usually when I masturbate, there's like, I don't know one particular threesome I had with my, with my boyfriend. Tell me. Can you tell me about it? Yeah. And it just seems to be where I go to. I think it just kind of sucks. It happens. That's like, because it's a threesome with a partner.

It's like my like hopeless romantic side. Right. Get satisfied. And then because it was like a threesome with, you know, with another woman. It just kind of satisfies all like it was, it's like dirty. What was it about this sensual? Because it's not your first threesome with that.

I was assuming. So what was it about this thre it's not your first threesome with that. I was assuming. So what was it about this threesome? You know, I'm me and this particular girl just really, really, really attracted to each other. And it was very like, I don't know, my because I'm so attracted to her and my boyfriend is like really into it. So he was like super turned on when like me and her

were doing stuff. She's just also I like would colored this like three-some-pro because she was really good at like making up to people at once. I get like lazy sometimes. I don't have lazy the right word. Selfish, you know what I have sex with more than one person at a time. I tend to like kind of just sit back and be like, oh, okay, everybody do things to me now. I stop putting an effort. And she's cool. And she was like really like on top of like pleasing to people at once, like the entire time.

Oh my God. It was really, really awesome. She's available. I know, right? And she was really, I don't know, me and her were just super attracted to each other. And we don't even know each other that well. And that's why a lot of times when couples ask me for advice

about three sons, we're like, well, there's this girl. And we've tried to, we've been talking to her and she's been to dinner a few times. And I always think the best three sons are with, like, people you don't know that well. Right. I know. That's how exactly it is.

And sometimes when you know each other, someone really well, like the name. You'd rather not say that again to the friend zone. Yeah, exactly. No, it's true. I agree. Like, because when I've had three sums and it's true, it's always when it was someone I didn't know that well.

And they're amazing. It was so great when it wasn't, yeah, you're not attached. Yeah, I'm not attached. You know, everybody kind of knows what's going on. And it's just, don't pick your best friend. More about the physical aspect. Right. And he like, exactly. And he's what's going on. And it's just, don't pick your like best friend. More about the physical aspect. Right. Exactly.

Like mental going on. That just is what works for me. Do you get a lot of questions about three Sims? I do too. I'm sure you. All the time. What's your like best three-sum advice? Top three-sum advice?

Like I guess the question you get asked the most and then how you answer it. I think, I mean, I think I don't really even know what the, how to, I think the best advice I give people is just once it starts, everything goes. You once you start making like, every time you kiss her, you have to kiss me, every time you do this, you have to do this. Like, I've like talked to men who are very threatened by like the girl liking the other girl more than him or girls being worried that like, like, you are very threatened by like the girl liking the other girl more than him

or girls being worried that like the guy, like you can't start to like divide the time like on a score card, like you gotta just let it flow. It's a dance, it's like a dance, too. You can't let it flow and there might be one person getting fucked the whole time and one person, you know, like everybody has to kind of get off on the other people getting off and it can't be like,

a thing like, yeah, you're not taking like score. Once you get that place in your head, like oh my god what about me I'm being left out like it's a nightmare right it's not a fun threesome anymore and I like to tell people I've been there you know I've had three Sims with with different partners and I've had other three Sims with random people and and I have felt like that girl that felt left out and that didn't mean that because that's something, that just meant the energy wasn't right. Right, exactly.

I wasn't on the right. Does it mean you're like not attractive? It doesn't mean that person. No, and it doesn't even necessarily mean they did something wrong. Exactly. If anything, I did something wrong by choosing to have a threesome with people that maybe I shouldn't have, you know, whatever. And, you know, I try to make people know,

like I'm not some sexual superhuman. I've had the same quote, crazy feelings that all other women have. You know, jealous. You get jealous. You get upset. We get angry. There's some days we're in the mood to do things. Sometimes you're not in the mood to do things.

Like, I'm not, you know, I try to get the point across to all women that, like, I'm not, like, you're not super powerful. I wasn't born with so much superpower. Right. There is no such thing as you still got on stage 13, 15 years ago. Yeah. And that strip like everyone that you didn't know what to do. Yeah.

And cultivate your sexuality and your sexual feeling comfortable with your body. Yeah. But yeah, definitely with three times you've got to just once you start just everything goes. And you have to think about yourself getting off, but you also need to be excited about the act that's happening, you know, and like just don't be like-

Stay in the moment. Yeah, just be like, just get in there and have fun, you know. Good advice. And then also I get asked about finding a third. What? I mean, that's a tough thing. That is tough. It's just like when you're finding a relationship, you find it when you're not looking.

Exactly. That's true too. Just it when you're looking. Exactly, that's true too. Just know when you're looking. That's true. You don't want to be that couple that's like on the prowl. That's creepy, you know, like where it's like too much. Right. And then people get uncomfortable. Right.

There's good sites now, I guess. There are, yeah. I mean, I feel like now you can just kind of put it out there. Okay, Cupid, thank you. It's something on it. I mean, there's Tinder and Tinder. I mean, there's got to be, I'm sure websites that are specific. We've talked about it. Yeah, a lot of parties that are specifically. Yeah, there are parties. Sometimes the feelings just right. I usually

say if you are dealing with your with a heterosexual male female couple, just let the girl pick someone. Exactly. Just right. Don't. I'm sorry, you're a good guy. Sexist or something. It's true. You just let, you know, the guy, it's going to be okay. He's going to be fine. If she's attracted to it, you're going to be fine. Exactly, that's a very good advice. I'll find someone. Thank you.

I like it. OK, let's give it a quick shout out to our sponsors. Then I'm so glad you're here because we've got some really good emails. Yeah, I love emails. Yay. I love hearing what people have to say. Oh, I did.

They did. Helping. Big shout out. We'll be right back. I know there's more to life than looks. It's what's on the inside that matters. I've heard it, I get it, but I'm not gonna lie. A good hair day can make everything better.

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first color kit. Just visit Madison-read.com today and use promo code Emily. Okay, now we're on to emails. You know how much I love hearing from you. Well, now there's a few different ways you can get your question answered on my show, which is so fun. Go to sexathelemele.com. You just click on the Ask Emily tab and you felt the submission form so easy. Then on the submission form, you can select that you'd be interested in calling in and having your question answered live on my podcast. Joanna, this is the whole new thing we're doing.

Next time you come in, we're gonna take some calls. Is that fun? Yeah. Just like crazy. Video days, right? Yeah. You can also, days, right? Yeah. You can also, the third thing you can do is you can also leave me a voice mail, 818-ask-swe1-1.

That's 818-275-7931. A couple of ground rules. Keep your message to about one minute. Don't include your last name or the names of anyone. We're talking about, if anyone you're talking about. And tell us your age and where you're calling from. OK, that's it. How easy is that?

Can't wait to hear from you. And please, check that box. We'd love to call you. It'd be awesome. OK, you ready calling from. Okay, that's it. How easy is that? Can't wait to hear from you and please, like, check that box. We'd love to call you. It'd be awesome. Okay, you ready? Mm-hmm, I'm ready. Ready? Congratulations on your new system here.

Update, yeah. I know, it's fun, right? Yeah. We just tried it last week and it's just starting out, so I, uh, next time, be fun. I'd love to hear from the people, because there's more questions. You gotta be like, wait a minute, what do you mean by this? But we got some great emails. So, hey, Emily, my girlfriend has just recently asked me how I feel about her, hooking up with another

woman. She's never done it before. And when she asked me this, I'll be honest, I had a difficult time giving my consent. I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now. We've not had sex with each other. She is waiting for marriage. However, we still have an intimate relationship in the bedroom. He hasn't had sex with her yet. Another is waiting for marriage. However, we still have an intimate relationship in the bedroom. He hasn't had sex with her yet. Another twist. She's been living in Europe for the past two months, and will continue to for the next year

on a study abroad program. I trust her, but they do being intimate with another person, regardless of it's just innocent experimentation with the same sex, is difficult for me to imagine, especially since our own intimacy is struggling with the long distance. I know a lot to unpack here, but any advice on the situation will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much. Love the show. Josh, he's 25. This is a lot to unpack. It doesn't sound like a good idea. It sounds like what they need is a break. Yeah, and they already have that. And to revisit their relationship when she comes back home. Right. She's gone

for too long. He was about to say, when you first read the email and you were like, I've been with my girlfriend for, like, I thought he was going to say something like 10 years. Right. You know, like something where it's like, like, oh, it's been a while. Right. Like, we've been monogamous for so long. And now she wants to experiment like, yeah, over a year. And they have an attack. And who long and now she wants to experiment like over here. And they have an exact, and who knows how long she hasn't even lived here for. Exactly. She's been living in Europe for the past two months and we'll do that for another year.

Okay. Okay. Here's the thing, Josh. I know you love her, but she might be your first relationship or long term and you love her. And I know it's really hard, but you got it. I think you guys got to just let her. She's saving sex for a marriage.

So she's like religious But wants to like be like a swing or lesbian tie. I don't know. She wants it's not adding up here Exactly. I think it sounds like she's like kind of playing games with him I'm I'm not saying maybe she maybe she's saying maybe well that she's being honest about it though But she is she but she's like exactly but they're always are these contradictions Religion she might really not want to have sex, but she might also have some fantasy But then that's all see the not but so it is a woman not considered sex because Exactly, well, you know how these you know it is a penetrator. She's probably an anal maybe and not you know

I don't know. I mean maybe not just sounds like he's like she's not the right one. Yeah, Josh Right now you're not the right time I'm dating for a year and their intimacy is struggling like that. They're not exactly. They're supposed to still be like, like, fucking day. Josh, this is the good time. Yeah, they're supposed to be like, like, fucking all the time. You're not even in the same thing town for another year in the same country.

So yeah, Josh, you got to move on from this one, honey. Are we both agree? Yeah, maybe, you know, stay in touch. You're only 25. You could get back together when you're 26 or 20. Exactly. But I would recommend that you just do some dating. Unless she's gone.

Unless you want to like move out to Europe and be with her while she's there. The other thing is, Josh, even if you weren't having these issues, let's say this was just your scenario and you missed her. You're emailing me because you missed her and you don't want to do it. I would still say she's gone for a year. At your age of 25, I would say you still should be dating

around, you still should be, like not saving yourself for a year, not going out meeting other people because you're in love with a woman who's brought. I just think that it's a good time your 20s to date and experiment with the girl you are and you're not having sex with her right now and I just feel like, if she was the one, he would have like,

I mean no offense, you're only 25, like I'm sure you have some kind of job, but whatever it is, like if she was really the one you would have won with her. Yeah, you know. That's true, when you're madly like you could go there, and you would have gone, or he would have gone there for like a month, I don't know, you know, I know like,

it sounds like she's taking her in a kind of a trip. It's pretty, it's not that hard to pick she's taking her in a kind of right now. It's pretty, it's not that hard to pick up and go on your 25. Yeah, right. It's just not. I think that's going to bite me. Josh, I know this isn't easy to hear, but we're in here. It just doesn't sound like it makes sense right now.

Right. Right. It's going to be easy, but it is tight. Maybe you won't want to date for a while. That's okay. I just think that you've got to just be realist. Calling her your girlfriend might be a little bit exactly. It's all right now. Because you're not really in a relationship. You

have like a texting buddy or whatever. Well, they were together and she left. But yeah, but they get you love her. I love when you're young, you know, every age is deep, but just, you know, take care of yourself and let's look at the cold heart facts as she's not around and you're a veer old, 25-year-old male. Okay, let's move on. Thanks, Josh, for emailing Let's Know How It Goes. Hey, Emily, I discovered your podcast a few weeks ago and I'm hooked.

Not only are the subjects and guests interesting, but the sunshine in your voice is absolutely intoxicating. I do thank you. I've been with my girlfriend for eight years now. We have two kids. She's the only woman I've ever loved and I love our children more than life itself. Here's my question. Although I love my girlfriend, I feel the need to devour almost every woman I see.

I don't because obviously that would have consequences and I certainly don't want to hurt my girlfriend. It's to the point where I avoid interacting with other women because I'm afraid of eventual chemistry and or sexual tension. Also, it kind of goes without saying but with young kids, our sex life has been on a steady decline. However, I don't think the quality or amount of sex would change my problem. Would you have any comments or suggestions on how I can handle this? Thanks. Keep up the great work, Pierre. So he didn't say his age, but I'm just gonna assume in the beginning of the year, is the guy that had kids have 30s, maybe 30s.

Eight years, you love a girlfriend, and he's just having that itch. They've got two small kids. The sex isn't happening as much, which people, I just want you to understand, this is normal. This will happen in your relationship. If you have kids, your sex life's going to change.

It will never be what it was. And so this is something that you guys have to turn towards each other and talk about. What are we going to do to bring our sex life back to keep it going, to keep the intimacy going? Because this is what's going to happen. You're going to want to go out and see with other people. And unless you want to open up your relationship, you certainly, I feel like relationships shouldn't be opened up right when it's when things are bad. No, relationships, they open up when things are

good. Exactly. So that's when things get messy. Absolutely. So you don't want it open up here. You love your girlfriend. So what you have to do is all that energy and that's just toil in your mind about, I can't go out, I can't talk to women, I'm just going to want to be all over them. You've got to take all that and put it inward and towards your relationship and say, how can my wife and a girlfriend and I get back like get this back? You know, she might be having some hormonal things going on. You know, she's taking care of the kids, she's tired, but it's about talking about it and recognizing like, okay, we're not having as much sex as we once were.

Yeah, you have to just admit it, and you have to think about it. It's a difficult thing because then, if you over talk about it, then all the excitement is gone, and it's hard to force. But then if you don't talk about it, it becomes this weird elephant in the room. Right.

I think, I mean, I don't have kids. I've never been in that situation, but I've been in situations that were similar. Yeah, because you were someone for a while, and you lived with them? Yeah, and also, I mean, my boyfriend is a performer, and I kind of dragged him into the pool. I can't really know that.

Yeah, now he does porn. Does he do business cards anymore? Well, he does. He doesn't need to do business cards. I've had it like 10 years ago. He didn't do business know. Yeah, now he does porn. Does he do business cards anymore? Well, he does. He does need still to do that. I've had it like 10 years ago. He did business cards. Yeah. And so I kind of like forgot, like, guys who do porn, they have to like save their sexual

energy sometimes, you know? So, like if he has to be on set at nine o'clock in the morning, we can't have sex like the night before. We just can't. We could have sex, but him not come, but that's like not really fun, you know? And like, so when that started happening, when he, you know, when he first started doing porn, like, we, you know, we had to start scheduling our sex life,

you know, which sounds really unromantic, but it was kind of like either that or, well, we could just go by and we would have sex. And then I'd be like grumpy, and then, you know, and then it became this weird thing. So like, I remember a solution. I did, we found a solution. We talked about it, We were open about it.

And yeah, and I am not a jealous one, but I don't do that many scenes anymore. So he would have seven, eight scenes in a row day after day after day. And then I'm at home doing the business-y set. And then he's having sex. And of course, on Twitter, everybody's posting me, like, oh my god

I think great as sex today with someone so blah blah blah blah. I'm like that's a lot more woman. Yes. There's a lot. Even a very open-minded, you know, whatever woman so it but so and then to not be having sex on top of that we'll drive anyone in this. Yes. So it got you know we sat down and he acknowledged like you know it was a problem too and also he was he was kind of thrown into this and he's like I did porn because you told me Right and now I'm just trying to not embarrass you and do a good job I know so what do you want me to do? But I can't like like I can't shut it off all night the night before and then show up on set like I'm not gonna be able to get a boner

I kind of forgot girls can fuck all the time Exactly, they just can't like right there So we schedule it. Right. Schedule it. And we stick to that schedule, like, I don't care. You're like Saturday night. You're not working Sunday.

Yeah. Or it's just like, okay, as soon as he gets his call time, like, you have to be on set at 9 a.m. That means we have to have sex before, like, noon, you know, because nighttime sex is going to be on the question. And we stick to it. You have to. I mean, because, yeah, I mean, mean, I think like with Peter and his wife, like she might, you know, it's been on a set

of decline, you said, well, you have young kids. So you got to figure out when does she want to have sex? Like maybe she's thinking, you know, I never knew. But maybe in the morning, maybe there's time. You don't have to have like a three hour marathon. No, sometimes you can't. It's kind of sexy. It could be intimate.

I know. massage, it could be mutual masturbation. But you guys, there's like you got to do something to break in the middle of the day and just make sure that you're doing things to support her emotionally. She might not even know what she needs right now. You know, maybe I don't know how bad it's not bad, but you're saying it's going to say decline.

A lot of times couples, here's what you guys say. No, it gets worse and overtime. It will get harder and harder to talk about. So the sooner you nip it in the butt, you're like, babe, I love you. I'm attracted. What can we do? And your sex life can be renewed.

It can be rebuilt in a new way. You never thought it was before, but that goes with talking about what does she need right now. She might be like, I don't know. Nothing turns me on. Maybe she needs some more. Maybe you need someone to watch the kids first off for a night even.

So many couples have small kids and they're like, oh, the kids are 10, we've never spent a night away from the kids. No, you need like at least, if you can do that, have someone come watch the kids. There's just a couple hours. Yeah, some things. Some hours like go to like a nice hotel and like order room service and fuck. Right, exactly. Yeah, what makes her feel sexy? Maybe it was a take-in bath, like all these things, but you gotta find out, I'm sure you can remember

some things at the beginning that you did, but so it's really not about how handling your desire for other women, it's about handling, like how do we build the desire in a relationship here. Don't open up the relationship when the relationship's not working. It's gonna be terrible, your wife will be, it will make it, and she'll never,

if she finds out what she will one day, like she will literally, like, never feel sex. He again, you know, like, here, this is temporary. This is what I say, is that this is temporary. This is normal. I know often use the term normal. This is typical in relationships.

It happens. It's going to happen more so than not. So know that you're in that wave. Life is a cycle. It's the ups and downs in life. It was always up, you know, you're always having amazing. Life is a cycle. It's the ups and downs in life. It was always up. You're always having amazing sex like God. What are we all talking about?

And I wouldn't even think it was true because that is, nothing's great all the time. Life is, there's always going to be struggled in life. So this is where you guys are at now in your relationship and you're going to tackle the head on. That's what you're going to do. You're going to make this your priority because without sex you are just roommates and that you're going to do. Okay, you'll get through it.

All right. Hi, Emily. I love your show and everything you do to enhance sex positivity. I'm a 23 year old bisexual female who got out of my first relationship two years ago. Since then, I've enjoyed exploring a handful of FWB situations, friends and benefits, and I'm very happy doing so. However, I've recently noticed a theme emerging. It's nearly impossible for me to orgasm. When I'm on my own, no problem. But when someone else holds the reins, it takes so long that I am telling them to give up

before they're totally exhausted. I've always been difficult to get off. It can take me up to 40 minutes, but my ex managed to do so so I know it's possible. I'm also a squirreter, so I think that adds to my self-consciousness. I've been told to get out of my head, but that's easier said than done

when I'm so focused on this goal. Not to say I don't enjoy sex otherwise, but I notice it makes my partners feel inadequate. What can I do other than taking care of both of them, taking care of both them and myself in the same sitting to make things easier, get out of my head. Thanks so much, Laurel 23, Atlanta.

So bisexual, she got our first relationship, and she has friends with benefits. I'm guessing with men and women and she can't orgasm. Yeah, hello, that's normal typical too. Yeah, so she wants to get out of her head. She could do it once with the other person. She's a bit of a control. Yeah, how do you mean this is something that we talk a lot about on the show? And it really is. So what if you're a squirter? First of all, embrace that love. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, that's like that. And it really is, so what if you're a squirter, first of all, embrace that, love that out. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, that's great.

That's great. Yeah. It's great that you're a squirter. And what's wrong with like showing them what you need? Like I'm your 23 years old. I'm wondering if you're with the partner and you're not happening, like, maybe you take it in your own hands.

Are you place their hands over yours? Are you used toys? You have to know you're right, your angle. Yeah, I mean, you obviously know where it is. Right. Maybe it's just more like communication during sex. Exactly. She had what she's on her own, no problem.

So here's the good news, Laurel. Like we said, a lot of women struggle with orgasm. It's some different points in their lives or all the time. You at least have an art. We have a lot of them who've never had one. You know how to have an orgasm. So take whatever that is into the situation with your partner, whether it's man or woman. Is it your hands, is it lube, is it toys, is it watching porn together,

but it's never too soon to do it either. Even if you're dating casual right now in a friendship benefits, I mean, even a one night stand can be amazing when you communicate your needs. And just think about it. The next time, I wonder why I'm going to get over head. But when you're masturbating, like if you can get into your body and when you're thinking about like even from a cellular level and you're not in your head but you're like this feels good, that feels good. And you're like muscle memory and then you'll be able to like transfer that into the bedroom.

Yeah, draw a map. Draw a map. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. Handsome. sex, kind regards, Michael 61 Australia. Oh, you know what? A glad answer. Yeah.

How could I give a good woman good oral sex? We're all different. I got to tell you. You are all different. But so he's 61. I think it's always a good time to learn how to give oral sex. So first of all, you got to pay attention to her body. You got to slow down.

You want to figure out what, you know, what feels good or you want to rush to it, so make sure there's like a foreplay and you're kissing and you're like teasing her. And like the slower, the slower that you go making your way down to her vagina, the better. What would you say? I think when a girl starts twitching or whatever, like when she starts doing something, when she gives a sign, that's good, stay there, and don't move. Stay in that one spot.

Sometimes it's like someone can be in the right spot for me, and they just move over like a quarter of an inch, and I'm like, ah! Right! Move back! Move back! So I think when the girl starts like being like, ah! You know when she's starting to feel good, just stay there. Some guys like get over confident. They're like, yeah, and then they just start moving around faster and faster.

Or they go harder. Like, yeah. That feels really good and they go faster. Yeah. You're like, you know, that felt good. Yeah, that really impressed her that love faster. Yeah, you're like, you know, that felt good. Yeah, that's exactly what you're doing. Yeah, just keep doing it. And I think that's important.

That is really important. We were, it's funny that came up on the show a few weeks ago. I think Jamie was saying that who works here. We had to do a staff show and she was like, yeah, I just wish guys would just stay there. Yeah, that feels good. Doesn't mean move around. Exactly.

That means that they're there. But Michael also, I would say a big part of it is the build up, it is the teasing. So I know when a guy's like delaying, or you go over her pants at first, they just don't rush into it. And then you want with your tongue even too, you go slow. Like you go slowly, you can lick around,

like her wall ball, like her legs. I like all the teasing and build up. Now it feels really good. And then you go into it. Yeah, like butter, right? Don't they? The butterfly, the little like, it's a butter, I don't even know,

your tongue, like a light flicks. Yeah. Use your fingers. Flat tongue, use your fingers. I like fingers a lot. I like fingers too. But not all fingers. Some people go to aggressively with their fingers.

Yeah, like fingers to go slow first. Light fingers. Light fingers. You know, like the end of like, do you know where the G spot? You should. Michael, we've done where the G spot you should be. Michael, we've done a lot of shows on this too. And we've got a ton of blogs on our website about oral sex and kind of like this and all that stuff.

So, yeah, I just think of also another reason just get out of your head too. Don't like overthink it because if you're in tune with this woman and you're with her, she'll tell you you'll know what feels good. And you can have sex for a while. I'm sure communication is a lubrication. That's all we got time for. It says on the wall. It says it on the wall. Yeah.

So it's a good quote. It's a good quote. We've got quotes here. If you want to thank you so much. Oh, you think so fun. This is fun. I know. I like doing this.

It's like we're having like a slumber party. I know, right? So every next time we'll like see what we're going to do left. Yeah. Okay, so everyone check out Joanna, at angel burningil.com. Yep. Come see me if you're in Vegas.

Come to the Hustler Club on Halloween or on Sunday, October 30th. I love it. I love it. I think you must have killer costumes. I do. I do have some good costumes. I love it. Okay, well Joanne has going to be back.

So, to say in your last video here. Okay, everyone. Thank you so much for listening and was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexwitheviliet.com. Okay guys, turn your volume down for the next minute. I need to tell the lady something. Go ahead, trust me. It's very own good.

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