Sex With Emily - Swapping, Squirting and Ex Sex

Episode Date: April 28, 2017

Having the courage to ask questions shows that you care about improving your life; whether it’s your love or sex life, you’ve identified something that just isn’t going right, and you want it to be better. On today’s show, Emily is answering all of your quandaries to help give you the knowledge you need for a life full of loving—both in and out of the bedroom. This week, Emily is joined by Menace, and the two discuss proper nude etiquette when it comes to swapping photos with potential swing partners, the importance of foreplay (even though you’re wetter than a slip ‘n’ slide) and whether you should tell your fiancé about a sexual slip you made when you were on a break. Plus, there’s a scientific reason that sex with your ex just feels so damn good. Don’t miss it! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Vibratex, System JO, FT London and Adam & Eve.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show we're tackling your sex and dating questions. Topics include, Why does Sex with an X feels so good? Rules for swapping nude photos, How to Up Your Flirting Game, and so much more. Thanks for listening. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand.

Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, it shrinks.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithmv.com. When you're there, you can ask a question. You can subscribe to the podcast. We do like three a week right now. We're testing three a week. Typically do two a week.

And then all social media just follow us. If you want to see all the fun stuff going down, maybe learn a thing or two, check out menace who's here with me. So I want Snapchat, Instagram, at the end of the Emily Twitters. I know. Have you been posting any sexy photos? Because that's how I get your followers.

No, just once, but it's gone now. I've got another one from this. This is this. You're the Instagram page. They're gonna kick me off though. No, they will. It's that sex with Emily. Yeah, follow.

Check it out. See what's there. We love that bikini shot when you said that like months ago, God, I met this was like check out this bikini until this day. It probably is more loops more likes than anybody. Yeah, because. And you're like, if you listen to the end of the show and you you're like, if you listen to the end of the show, and you said, if you listen to the end of the show,

we're gonna know, because you went and liked that photo. So we should pick another one. It's great, yeah. We do, we could even, maybe, it's funny, I did that with my dogs Instagram account, and I said, hey, if you're listening to the podcast, go comment on my dogs Instagram, and people did it.

They did, that's what I said. Okay, so let's have them comment on something here, which photo would like them to come. Let me see, I'll take a look right now. Okay, so let's have them comment on something here. Which photo would like them to come? Let me see. I'll take a look right now. Okay, well, I'm doing this. So we're looking at Instagram.com. As I said, Emily.

Sex with Emily, just in case if you don't have Instagram, you can still see the photos. It's like going to a website, believe it or not. It is. Instagram.com. But what does it have Instagram? I feel like everybody has Instagram. Not everybody. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's a professional. All right, I'm, wait, how long I'm looking? Because you want a sexy photo.

Oh, here's one, you're in bed with your feet off. I mean, with your shoes off. So all the foot fetish people can check your hair. Right, so you want to see my feet. Yes. And we're not white, that's how my new bed. Yeah, this is a great photo. My new life.

All right, so this is the photo you're looking for. Okay, I'm menace. So you go to Instagram.com, slash sex to Emily, or if you're on Instagram, to search sex with Emily. And you're going to. All right. I'm Venice. So you go to Instagram.com, search, text, Emily, or if you're on Instagram, to search sex with Emily. And you're going to look for the photo that you're wearing some gray leggings. Yeah, I was already for that. You're up on the bed.

Your legs seem kind of spread apart a little bit. And then you don't have any shoes on. So for all you feed people you can see that and Then you're wearing some glasses. They're really cute. So yeah check out that photo right there Comment and say that you're listening to this podcast and one thing you learn and one thing you learned and you Once this photo you'd like to comment it on it. How about that? That's amazing. Oh my god. Yes It's you guys remember if you don't remember rewind and listen to it, you can take it easy.

I love it when you're rewind easily. And then if they subscribe to the podcast, it doesn't stay in the same place. Is that still true? That, I don't know. I love that. Because if I'm going to listen to a podcast, I'll listen all the way through. Right, you never stop. Beginning to end.

But I'm so ADDL, I'll listen to three at once. I know. When you do subscribe, it doesn't start back from the beginning. Yeah, I try to get you to watch a two minute video and you like two seconds ago. I was like, I'll snap it. I'll do whatever. I feel the bathroom.

So, I go and his Woody video is on YouTube. You gotta check him out. I was there. I was with you. Uh huh. Warrior. You know, I was. Two minutes I can do.

That's why you like to be in relationships with guys that just listen. So, you can just go off. Exactly. I had a day recently and he's like, you talk a lot. I mean, I like it. You're interesting. But you talk a lot. And I was like, yeah, that's what I do for the movie. But actually, I thought I wasn't talking very much. I thought he was actually talking a lot, which is funny. That's why you need a listener in your life. I need a listener. That's true. I need a lot. No, yeah, a listener, but he's got to be a good, when he does talk, you better be interesting, because then I'll just talk or tune out.

So now, yeah. Yeah. But I don't tone out to you, maybe videos. But it is great to see you, and we are now on the verge of masturbation month right around the corner. Again, already. Wow.

It's been a year. Every May, it's masturbation month, and we, I did not invent masturbation month, though I wish I did. And I masturbation month, we talk, did not invent masturbation month, though I wish I did. And I masturbation month, we talk, we give you a lot of tips, we talk about our favorite toys. And you're like, I don't need a tip for masturbation, but guess what you do. There's so many erogenous zones on your body, men and women.

And we're gonna be doing a lot of giveaways through all of our social media. And I should give men a toy before I leave, that you don't want one, I think you can call them right. And yeah, there's some fun new toys too. I've actually find my creativity coming out with the toys. I should give them as a toy before I leave. You don't want one, I think you can call it by my. And yeah, there's some fun new toys too. I've actually found my creativity coming out with the toys. So you know, I've been trying out toys for a long time and we have some new sponsors. Well, one new, one old with a new toy.

And I feel like I'm sort of like a chef with that because toys are not just for one use only, like just because this is a literal toy, or this toy is used for, of the prostate stimulation, you can use them in other ways, if you're creative, right? It's like people, do you ever see those websites dedicated to a key furniture, they're like, maybe you bought the expedite shoving unit, but it could also be used for ironing your clothes. So I feel like toys, not that I use them to hammer nails,

but I use them creatively, so we have a new toy, a new, we vibe, you know, I love the toys. They have a toy called the Wish. And I wish that it was with me right now. So I just wanted to close it. But I really was like, Oh my God, this is the most amazing toy. And I hate to say that, but because I love so many toys and I, you know, me and I'm a lover, but it stimulates the internal and external, literal nerves. So you know, 8,000 nerve-renics, you know, the labia, the lips, if you will, the inner and outer, I don't know why I feel like lips, but it's amazing. You know you're vagina, you've lips, you can mirror, look at it, your vulva.

It knows the way it lays in you, so it looks like a big squishy ball. Like one of those, it looks kind of like a tension ball. It's super squishy, but a little long. And you can just rest it right there on those nerve endings, which to me are always a huge churn in your clitoris. It extends all the way down and it's squishy and I love it. However, I felt I want it to just stick on those nerve endings and I used another vibrator from,

so it's called the Wish-Bet-Wive, that one. And then F.T. London, they make the coolest toys, they're design, they're functionality, and I met the guy at Trade Show, and like, I love him, he sent it to me, I thought they were awesome. There's one called the G-Ring. Fits on your, any finger,

so your finger becomes a vibrator, right? So I could like, be touching your, you know, when we're having sex, I could put under your balls, it feels good, or you could touch or clitoris with it. So I thought, I'm gonna use that one on my finger, and the other one just on all those other nerves. Yeah.

And I had to freaking explosive good time. Really? Yes, because I was like, I never thought, I was like, seeing the one, I wonder if I could use this toy with that. And it was just, it was a very creative moment for me, sexually and creatively, and in my house, because in my new house, I have a new bed,

and a yard, and no one can see in. So the sun was shining in, we're in LA and I realized I haven't been spending a time at home. So now like open the curtains, the sun, the toys, it was a good time. So masturbation month will be giving away toys and giving you tips. That's really cool. So you can give me that moment of me lying there. I'll be giving away everything.

But you can go shopping in the closet too if there's something you'd like before you leave. Do you know what's funny? You know how many, speak about the point. That's changed to me. I was like, I want to talk about my mix it up masturbation experience. That's great. That's good, yeah.

No, no, you've been talking for, I don't know, good year now, year and a half about the womanizer, right? Oh, yeah, amazing. OK, so. Another one. I probably sold so many womanizers on your behalf on the Woody show. Really?

Yeah, because so. Tell them to go to my website and click on the banner for it. All right. Anyway, they guess. The womanizer, go to sexfamily.com. SexLand.com click on the banner, but go ahead. I'll tell them that.

I'll tell them that's the only place you can get it. Exactly, it's like exclusive. Yeah, yeah'll tell them that's the only place you can get it Yeah, yeah, dude, that's awesome. Yeah, it's hilarious because So many people haven't heard about it and I just think it has a funny name So I'll just throw it in there you right and it is a funny name and then we have We have this game that we play called what's your weapon of choice right? We've been called into the show and The rest of the people in the show have to guess like what toy did they use on a regular basis, right?

So they're supposed to give us three options and so we don't know. We don't ask them sexual questions. We just ask them about their life, like what do they do for a living, what kind of car do they drive, are they single, are they married, blah blah. And then at the end of the questions, we have to figure out what sex toy that they use, right? And I've been doing pretty well because of the show. Yeah, so yeah, so there's the, you know,

they'll say the rabbit, the bullet, and blah blah. And you know, and then someone will say, oh, you know, I travel a lot for work. I was like, they're using the bullet because you know, it's some mobile, you know, I travel a lot for work. I was like, they're using the bullet because you know, it's some mobile. You know, I was like, I'm able to, I'm willing to, I'm willing to, yeah, I'm able to like, figure it out

because of the show. So yeah, see, look, I learned. You're like, you're matching, but you're like a sexual anthropologist or something. You're like, tell me these three things and I will match you to your toy. But it's so funny because then I'll just throw out the, because you know, people are listening off toys

and all this stuff. Oh, yeah, the womanizer. The the womanizer just I don't know if I've talked about it like out like lately But it's I mean, I think I don't know who knows bought Terrible name. It's like that. Yeah, yeah in college, but it was invented. It was you know It's from Germany the guy invented it. So yeah, they don't really care the now. It's a piece of it Maybe womanizer me who knows what I mean, But this toy, the reason why it's still isn't a class of its own is because, well, there are bullets and rabbits and literal vibes. This one is a literal vibe, but it uses

this pleasure air technology. It's never been, they like invented a new technology that it kind of looks like a sexy ear thermometer in a way that has this little suction around it. It's like pleasure air, So it mimics oral sex. Enough said. I love oral. So for a woman, it like gently like kisses your clitoris and blows on it like in a way that you would want in your dreams And you wish that the person you're with knew this toy knows

Wow, it knows the clitoris. Yeah, and it's they call it like a 60 second orgasm They say because a lot of women in the studies had orgasms If you're into that kind of thing from now, I'm gonna tell everybody sexelmy.com to pick up the womanizer because somebody texted in and they're like, oh, thank you so much for mentioning the womanizer. I think too. That's awesome, dude.

Look at you. See you can run, but you can't hide. Yeah. But yeah, so masturbation month, while speaking, giving, giving, stuff away, but also tips for mutual masturbation. My one of my favorite things for couples to do if you're like, want to spice it up,

or I'm not sure how what makes it feels good to his penis and what he wants to see, what I do when I masturbate, do it together. It's a good time. Okay, Menace, I've got some sex in the news for you, which of course some of these come in, and I'm like, I have to say this for Menace because we've got our own jam around this.

All right. So here's why having sex with an ex feels so damn good according to science. So men is for a long time has been just kind of perplexed or curious or fascinated by the fact that I'm friends with a lot of my exes. Not necessarily sleeping with them all. If I know the thing is I'm like if I'm not sleeping with them then why do I want to hang out with them? Because you're looking great. That's true. Men's views of male-female relationships are very different than women. Because you're with somebody, it's safe. You've a lot of your emotional needs met.

And I feel like if you break up with someone, and they weren't like an asshole, they didn't cheat, or something bad didn't happen, eventually, after you take that time and you cut each other off from all social media, so you're not obsessing, perhaps you could go back again and be friends. That's different. But this is about sleeping with the X,

which I think a lot of people can relate to, like, dip and back and it's like safe, it's comfortable. So it means that, so the study said that the reason why, you know, it's more pleasurable with the X's, because the connection's already there, you know, which again is obvious, I'll break this down more, but you've had sex with the person so many times, you have a deep connection that it will never go

any matter how messy the breakup is. So again, this is in no way saying you should see with your ex, but maybe here's why, and then look at yourself, if you're sleeping with your ex. And afterwards you're like, oh, but I feel like self-loathing, and I was never gonna go back to him, and you just regard it, you know,

you probably, you know, shouldn't continue to hook up with them. But here's the reason why it's so hard is because the sex with your ex feels better than the average person because they know your body, they don't mix you feel. They know what you like. And for women, a big thing about feeling comfortable during sex and having, even having orgasms

is when we feel safe and we feel comfortable. And that's why a lot of women like one night stands, like, I don't have orgasms or one, I don't know someone feels safe. So with an ex, you're like, oh, he knows me and I feel safe and I can have that orgasm. And when you're having orgasms in the past with this person, when they were your boyfriend or girlfriend, it releases all those attachment chemicals, those neurochemicals, like, you know, dopamine serotonin.

So we attach the person and we feel connected. So it means it's hexamore, enjoyable, and presentable, and they're familiar. But again, I'm not saying that you should totally have sex with them. And I think many women have different views on this. And I'm going to be honest with you, if this triggers something for you and you're familiar. But again, I'm not saying that you should totally have sex with them. And I think many women have different views on this. And I'm gonna be honest with you, if this triggers something for you and you're like, you know what, I keep voting sex with my ex, and that's why it doesn't mean that you should get back together

with them. It probably doesn't mean you should be together. It means you have this comfort level. And if you feel like sipping through exes keeping you from meeting other people and getting out there, then you should probably stop. But if you're able to detach from it and just have sex, that's emotionally not.

It's awesome, beautiful, amazing. Right, now I wasn't always saving my exes, I truly was friends with them, but I did go through periods where I deviled in the exes. Yeah, so I was there. I was available. You go back to the well while. Exactly.

Have you, you know, when you're done, you're done, right? With someone. Yeah, I mean, I've gone back in the past after like a really long time apart. And and then but it would always be like brief. It would last that long at all. We tend to put our exes on this pedestal too. I got like euphoric our brain we only remember the good things and the go my god but he was this or she was that and then you get back together and you have sat you're like oh yeah yeah and then also like nothing changes nothing changes from a guy's perspective maybe a young man perspective also if you're not like fully like head over heels like oh man I'm back because I super love this person

and your back just having sex. Then you're kind of like thinking of like, well, how many like penises have been in between me and you know, what's happening right now? Yeah, I think believe some guys. Yeah, maybe. All right, that's, that could see that. They're just doing it to do it

because they want to do it. But they want to mark their territory again, but they don't want to be with you because there was other penises in there. Yeah, I mean, unless they're like, you're talking about their history. Yeah, yeah. Don't answer the question. This is also for young people because I feel like in your early 20s, you don't really know and you play this game of like, how many other people have you been with and how many,

actually, how many people have you over slept with? And these number games and recalling past real things and things you've done since it's never helps because men can't get the image of other pieces and women get all, you know, same thing though. We're like, you're the other women kissing you. I'm saying too, like if you broke up and then you're back together after- Don't share. Large amount of time. Again, don't share, but a guy's not gonna think about that.

If he's like, he's like super in love with you. He's gonna look past all that and then he'll take about it, you know. So just, so sit out. You guys go in to this situation with your eyes open. We're gonna move on to emails. I wanna give a shout out to our sponsors. We love you.

We love everything you do for our pleasure and our lives. So thanks for supporting our sponsors and we'll be right back. Okay, now we're on to emails. If you have a question, how many answers on the show? I love that. You can easily submit them to sectorthelmy.com,

click on the Ask Emily tab, Ask Away. And Matt is just saying, you know, I've been taking callers without you, and it's really fun. People, a ton of people, because it's the box, and you can say, like, I'd like to be called. You don't have to, you can send emails

or leave a voicemail, but it's fun, because we can get into their stuff. Like, it starts as one thing, and then they, you know, they're girlfriend cheated on, but we find out it's about a lot of other things. And I think I'm, I love it when I'm like in some random part of the country and then somebody come up to me and they go, I listen to sex with only podcast.

They whisper it. Yeah, they're like, I listen. I like, I'm listening. Yeah, I'm like, wow, that's super cool. So I appreciate it. And you gotta be great to like talk to people. Yeah, it'm like, wow, that's super cool. So I appreciate it. And you gotta be great to like talk to people. Yeah, it's fun. It's fun because a lot of people download

from all over the country. That's why I love when you send an email, you say where you're from. It's always good to say your age because then we kind of know where you're at in life and stuff like that. And how you're listening to the podcast. So I want to know, like, are you listening on iTunes? Google Taze SoundCloud?

All over the place. There's so many friends. Like, I know with the Woody Show podcast, we even get like bootlegged and put on all these other like crazy, you're like, you have a podcast sites. Yeah. And you're like, how come you haven't updated

Randall app? I'm like, we'd even like submit to that app. Everyone take your feed and put it on there. Which, you know, hey, they're a fan, I guess that's why they're doing it. So that's cool. Thank you. I like that everyone's listening and we've tons of listeners in Australia, which we've said for a few years, but it just seems like there's more more. So hello.

Definitely on my list. Definitely on my list. So place the one. Let's go visit. Okay, so if you're in Australia and you can think of a way to get us there, sponsor your event conference, we'll come speak. I want to do that. And I definitely want wanna do the Vegas show

that we've been talking about forever. Is there like any, I just got chill. Is there any like, conventions coming up or anything like that? I used to go to all those sex toy conventions there. And I don't, we can create our own convention. Yeah.

There's actually a swingers club. I remember Holly and Michael, my swingers friends. Yeah. They just opened a new club. They invited me actually to go this weekend. I've not been yet. I'm not going. I can't go.

But they're, it's like, they opened a club in Vegas. In Vegas, but it's been a traveling club. He was explaining it to me because I got the invite. I'm like, I'll be there and then he's like, yeah. And then I read it and it was in Vegas. So that actually leads me to our first email. It has to do with swingers. Really?

And oh, so Vegas show yes. And I also have two venues where we can do it. You love Vegas. If you guys have, we did a show in Vegas Would you like make if you give you enough time? Would you come we'd sell tickets? It's not necessarily gonna be the swimmer club. We could visit that But because you might be like I don't want to go to a swimmer club But would you come to Vegas and see us in person ask your questions and have a good time? Let us know

I think I know the perfect weekend The I heart radio festival weekend cause I have to be there. When you're time? Yeah, I have some time in between, but it'll be perfect because people kid. What's the date? Uh, September. Ah, that's enough time.

23rd or something like that. But I mean, I can put, I can find like, you know, two hours of time that we could just record somewhere. So let's do it. And then people can go there and they can go to the music festival and do crazy stuff. Okay. This is the two fur. Okay, I swear.

Here we go. Hey, what's on it? Hi, Emily. Okay, so, if you say you're going to be there, we'll plan it. All right. If you, if we plan it, will you come? Hi, Emily. My wife and I started sharing photos of us online anonymously where other couples and

individuals do the same. It's really exciting, especially when the photos are by request or in response to something they sent us. Is there any etiquette you can recommend to couples doing this? Is it appropriate to slowly get more personal with another couple and ask out their lives? We have a growing fantasy of same-room monogamous sex with another couple. Blending, exhibitionism, and voyeurism. We absolutely love the idea of watching another couple be intimate and another couple watching and the other couple watching us. What's the best way to ask another couple about this?

Perhaps a result from an anonymous online friendship? We'd love someone vice in how to make this a reality and some tips on doing what to do if there's an impulse for soft swapping. Thanks so much, Sean 38 Chicago. In the Midwest, your favorite town. Okay, so Sean, this is really a great question because we do get a lot of swinger questions

and I, but I have some things to say here to you. Okay. First of all, when you're saying you're on this site and you're sharing it anonymously, I get nervous because you have to trust these couples and it's turning you on, you never know where these photos are gonna end up and I feel the same way about,

I will never change this, my tune on this, that you just should not send naked photos. I mean, maybe if you're married, and you're really super committed, but my problem is all these young girls, women, and men, by feeling it happens to more women, that's, and no matter what age you break up, the guy's mad, you get a fight,

or what your partner's met, and they post it, it happens. You get people gonna make a photo, and they post it, it happens to be, you get, people get a naked photo, and they, their impulse is actually go, oh, that's nice, is to turn around the closest person to them and show it to them or send it to them. So that's just what makes me nervous about you guys doing this. So be careful, even if they seem trusting and, you know,

amazing. But I'm down with you guys wanting to explore together. I mean, you're married, you guys are both on the same page, because again, I always say, it's not a band-aid for your relationship mean, you're married. You guys are both on the same page. Because again, I always say it's not a bandaid for your relationship. If you're like, the sex hasn't been great. So we want a super other people.

No. But if you're on solid ground, and we both get turned out, you get this a great way to test it, because you're interacting with other couples, even though we don't want to get out with the photos. So here's the thing. I think that there are some websites that would be great for you. So there's FET life, FET, LIFE. And so on those sites, I think you there are some websites that would be great for you. So there's FET life, FET LIFE, and so on those sites,

I think you can kind of get to know couples, you can meet with them in your town, and you can kind of see first, do we trust them? Are we into them? For that, it might be great for either the having sex in the same room, and you might want to swap. There's also Cassidy, K-A-S-I-D-I-E. It's similar to FET life, but less kinky.

So FET life is a little more kinky for couples, but if you're just kind of into swinging, Cassie's a great site, and again, voyeurism is included as like a checkbox, like we want to watch other people have sex. And you could also check out, like I said, Holly and Michael, they've got a great podcast where they check out this all the time.

There's groupdesire.net, and then also you're a local sex shop. So you're in Chicago, I know there's a lot of great sex positive stores there and so there might be, you know, if they find local groups that way, maybe their website has a resource page. Now I think this is a great way to go because you're vetting couples, you can like email with them online.

So let's say for everyone signed up for that purpose. And then once you're there, you can kind of figure out the swapping and if that works, if there's chemistry. So Sean, here's a deal. If you guys are both into other couples, I'm pretty sure that the instinct to wanna swap will happen. So what you have to do is you ask me for rules is to discuss with your wife ahead of time

what are our ground rules? Can they be kissing? Can they be penetration? Do you wanna watch? Do you want me to go another room? At least get on the table like what is your dues? What are your don'ts? So you kind of ahead of time know what to expect.

So if the impulse does arise, you know that you're not violating each other's standards, mark codes, you gotta get your head, like a dick, you know, another penis in the ground, and you'll freak you out. Now, do you think, like, looking for three sums is kind of a part of swinging, or is it? Yeah, you're fine.

Or is that has to be swapping? It does, it has to think about swinging, is that this is whatever Yeah, or like you know open relationships. Okay. Yeah, and a lot of these websites you can't find a third woman a single woman Yeah, so My friends who are in a band called man Kim I think I talked about this on a past podcast But on their YouTube page they made a video about field, the app field, which used to be called thunder, I believe.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So field. And so the whole video is them because there are a couple and they're looking, they're looking at people in their neighborhood. And there's like a lot of people active in on it. That's true. I prefer.

And they were like in the suburbs when they were taping this. So I can imagine a place. It's called the old. I'm so glad you, I forgot thunder, they were like in the suburbs when they were taping this. So I can imagine I'm playing. It's called field. I'm so glad you forgot. I forgot the render, which was like the Tinder swipey app. Yeah, yeah, but now it's called field. Perfect. That's perfect.

Do it at home swipe away. Yeah, see what's easy. They're like, I guess your name is a swing right? I always say that your neighbor's probably a swinger. Yeah. And now you can confirm. Yeah, so yeah, go check out their video. It's amazing.

On their YouTube page. So youtube.com slash Matt and Kim, or maybe you can put up on sex.com. But it was such a great video explaining it and showing like who's why. You really want it? Okay, we'll put it on our website. It will link. Okay, cool.

So check it out. That's awesome. So yeah, show it. Let me know what it feels all about. This is like a healthy, here's a thing, guys. There's healthy ways to go about this on how they and Shawn, you guys seem like you're cool. So let me, like you're in a good place.

So let me know how it goes. Okay, hi Emily, I'm a desperate need of insight to gain the man I've always dreamed about. For the past two years, I've coached University Soccer at a local high school and have had my eyes on the varsity coach. He's friendly, fun, outgoing, speaks of his family, good-looking but never as a female on his arm. Come in, then, problems? Two weeks ago, I casually asked him if he'd like to join my friends and co-workers for

a charity event which tends to be a well-attended party. As soon as he got there, he asked where I was and what plans were after. Before suggesting I got with him and his friends, we went to a very personal bar where six of us had a table, casual drinks, and conversation. The night ended well, and I felt chemistry and interest. When I saw him two days later, he asked how I was doing, proceeded to talk about whether the games, you know, he talked about the games that they were doing. For school. Once practice ended, he talked about the games that they were doing for school. Once practice ended, we walked to the parking lot together, talked for 10 minutes about everything but our personal lives.

I'm trying to flirt when I can, as well as remain professional as we coach a team together. I'm not sure how to approach situation or if it's, is there a situation? Does he just view me as a new coworker? I don't mind being a female that shows interest first. However, if I do show interest, I wait for the season to be over, so we no longer have to be professional. Heather age 26. So this is all about fishing off the company pot,

like pull up the company pond. Yeah, he's playing, oh, sorry. No, should you do someone you sleep with? We talk about someone that you work with. At least sleep with, yeah. Should you sleep with someone you sleep with? You know I'm a professional at this. And he is.

Man, it's a slap with everybody works. And the thing is, yeah, he's playing it safe because you do work together. So he's like, everything that he has done is a test to see if you're interested or not. Do you think? What is? Okay.

She says he talks about his family though. And I hope you mean his mom and his brother or something, or his wife. So you didn't, it sounds like he's that married. Cause she's a woman as I look everybody there's a there's a thing called the internet called Google. I'm sure you can find them online and see that's true. If he's a race relationship or not. But look at that.

Just say he's not in a relationship and he actually doesn't have the internet. Yeah. Right. And she wants to make the first move. However, what they were told he that. It's unprofessional. But you're saying he's probably just playing it cool because he's not your favorite. He's playing it safe.

Yeah, because what about if he makes a move, you're not interested, and then you're in a work situation. Exactly, which can be tricky. So I think you gotta hang out again. You should ask him to go to dinner, and you should just kind of say, you need to see him again. If you only went out once in a social situation.

He might not feel comfortable as well when you guys are, you know, their work, but I would say create another opportunity. I wouldn't just, you know, I'm all about communication, but I wouldn't come out and say, you know, hey, so I think we should go on an official date date because it's someone you work with. If this is someone you didn't work with, I'd be like, that was fun. I think that's a two-way shigwout. Yeah. Now, here's the other thing, Heather.

I don't know the rules about where you work in your school, you could do that. You could be like, I think the two of us should go out and see what he says. Like, we should just go out. I love seeing you here. I think we have fun going to this great new play, mention something, a restaurant you've been wanting to try

and opening a theater premiere, whatever it is. Maybe there's street fairs. I don't know where to live. You didn't tell me where you're going to. Oh, see, that's what I was going to do. I was like, no. So many times of like summer things happening, you could be like, come with me to this music thing

on Sunday afternoon, and then you can hang out again. I think you need a little more information. Well, she says there's gonna be a time period where it's gonna be free, right? That's true too. I mean, she wants to wait it out. You could wait till the summer and then it's just go. Do it. But I like that you're just,

that you're not wait, I like that you are cool making the first move, because as we always say there So surprised that she has an internet stock to metal Everybody in her next talk, but see that's been like the bane of my existence right now I'm honest because I'm dating got I'm meeting people online and in real life And they all go ahead and listen to the podcast and they say don't and they say for no they say they don't And then they drop some things that are like, there's no way you know this that listening. Yeah. Like this guy is texting with, he's like, how come there's not a Loub emoji? And I'm

like, how do you even know that I talk about Loub if you're super into it? Yeah. Of course, I want to leave emoji. It's my dream. Or they just, I know they listen. And I know even if we haven't met or we're just chatting, it could be our first message. And they're like, what do you do? And I try to, they go to listen, so there's my whole life online. However, you're a rare case. I'm a rare case,

and I feel like all the information is there, and I stop them too and find out. I don't, but they have nothing. I can't listen to their like feelings and about their last date and last time. I'm masturbated, but you can find out if they've got a partner. Yeah.

Okay, let's do another email. Dear Emily, I love the show. I've been listening for three years. I'm a first-time writer, and I have to say you've helped me a lot. My fiance doesn't know that I listened to the show, so it's pretty cool that she thinks I'm this sexual superman that's always got new tricks. I love this.

For our anniversary last year, I gave her 14 orgasms to the point where her legs shook like crazy, and she couldn't stand. Everything is going great, but by a year ago, things weren't. Uh-oh. Want, want. A year ago things weren't. Uh oh. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. A year ago, my fiance, who was a micro-friend, would have little bickering fights they turned into giant blow-ups.

None of our fights were ever serious, anything that's serious. We both decided before we called it quits, we should try taking a break from the relationship. Even though we continued living together. For two months, we didn't spend a lot of time together, and I know this sounds weird, but it was refreshing. I spent time on hobbies, and being with my a lot of time together, and I know this sounds weird, but it was refreshing. I spent time on hobbies and being with my friends and not fighting, but calmly discussing with my girlfriend the issues that we're just destroying our happiness. After two months, we gave another try. Ten months later, we're engaged, but there's one problem.

What? During this break, I slept with someone else. Oh no! Yep. During this break, we never said it was okay to sleep with other people, but we also never said sleeping with other people was off the table. I know she wasn't sleeping with anyone else.

I don't know what I should do. You don't know that. Do I tell my fiance what happened and potentially ruin our engagement or keep my mouth shut? I'm focused on her. I'm really happy with her, but I have guilt. And PS, the other woman and I have not spoken

since sleeping together, I'm a hundred percent certain. She'll never find out that we know what to communicate. Oh, PPS, you're a lot better looking than Courtney Cox. Also producer Madison as a sexy voice in Anderson and Minnesota great. Thanks, David Oakland 29. Tino's funny. What's up, Oakland 510?

I used to be a little out 35 street in Oakland. So close to my heart, but It was funny. I was why there was a TV that was walking by and there was Courtney Cox sitting on the couch I'm like wait a minute. She looks just like Emily. I mean But just recently yeah, whenever I was like wait a minute. I mean like it was I was a reason for me Corny Cox or was the friends cornycock. It was a friendly one. Yeah, that's when it all happened. And now it happens again and people say that.

But thank you. It's a compliment. Okay, here's the thing, Dave, my love, do not tell her. You don't tell her. I understand your guilt. I very definitively understand that. She's not going to find out. It sounds like it's murky anyway.

And it will hurt her. Like we were saying earlier, you can't get those memories out of your head. It sounds when you get back to your ex. And I just think that you didn't do anything wrong. You're on a break and she probably expects it. And she probably, maybe she might have set up a someone as well. I think women are better at this stuff.

Like they get away with it. She wouldn't find out. The point is, she wasn't even cheated. But women are better at everything. And I'm glad that you asked me this question because I'm saving you so much stress, anxiety, and potential ending of your relationship right now because she doesn't need to know,

everything you're saying here sounds like your relationship's amazing, that's what I want for my birthday is 14 orgasms from somebody else. You sound amazing, couples go through this, you are, how old are you, you're 29 years old, it's all good. Let it go. People might disagree with me on this.

Keep on keeping on. I understand that you want to clear conscience and I respect that, but you have to weigh both sides. It'll make her, it's not healthy for her to know right now. Ever. It's something that's just gonna be brought up for the rest of your life if you never want to get married. Yeah, exactly.

And then, yeah, I totally agree 1,000% because again, yeah, like you said, there's gonna be people like oh no You gotta tell them you gotta tell them it all sounds great in theory. It sounds great Like yes, it'll be liberating. It's a weight off your shoulders Eventually eventually it's gonna be so far in the past you're not even remembering And it's also kind of selfish because think of it this way is that you want to get your conscience But it's not gonna help it's gonna kind of selfish because think of it this way is that you want to get your conscience, but it's not going to help. It's going to make her feel worse.

Yeah. So it's going to make her feel worse. Right. And it's just going to put another wrinkle in your relationship. Your honor break, it's fine. You weren't out there cheating on her when you were together. It's okay. It's okay.

Keep going with the orgasms and she won't even remember that break up. Hey, Emily and Choms, I'm 23 and I've always had a bit of a problem with how would I get when I get aroused. I end up leaving a large wet patch on the bed sheets and I feel I get wetter than other women do and it's not just in the bedroom. I can be having dinner with a man and a touch or a conversation that turns me on ends up leaving me with wet pants and I'm a little embarrassed about it. I like foreplay and I like the kissing and cuddling and touching but being so wet makes a lot of men jump straight into sex. I'm confused whether I'm giving out good or

bad signals to men. What do you think? I look forward to hearing your opinion. Thanks. Rebecca 24 in London. It's interesting. It's interesting. Yeah.

Yo, hi London. Rebecca, so I think like squirting is like the new anal. I feel that it's become, I used to say that anal was a new blow job. 12 years later. And I feel like we talk about squirting all the time here in the US, maybe not as much in London. And also, I feel like in porn, we see squirting time here in the US maybe not as much in London and also I feel like in porn

We see squirting everywhere and there's a lot of guys who actually come they they want their partner to squirt But I'm gonna get back to your question Yeah, here's a label the The level popularity. I think squirting was like two years ago and now it's like like pegging is now Oh, you think pegging is transporting it Yes, yes. I think they're about the same. The recent mainstream pop culture that I know. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Sporting is probably been three or four years, isn't it?

Okay, it's wording and pegging. Pagging is when you penetrate your partner with an object, your male partner. Watch the vibrator. Watch broad city. Broad city. Yeah, they have a whole lot of absurd on it. Here's the thing about sex.

Rebecca, is that sex can be messy? It's not, you know, beautiful, that's hilarious. Here's the thing about sex, Rebecca, is that sex can be messy? It's not, you know, beautiful, neat and tidy, and everyone smells like roses. Sometimes you get wet, things get sticky. And I think that if you're enjoying the sex, you're getting really turned on, that's really hot, okay? And I think that to think in your mind

that it's setting bad signals, it's certainly not. I think that a lot of guys and guys that you wanna be with would be like, that's cool, you know? I think it's hot, it looks like you're really turned on and that makes me feel amazing that you get so turned on. So there's no problem here, okay? So I don't want you to be like, wow, do I stop the wetness? Because I think it's awesome. The other thing is if you do feel like you know that every time it's going to get wet, it's going to get messy, you can just say like, oh, I'm going to, you know, let me grab a towel or let me get a blanket

sometimes I get really turned on. And let me just tell you, that will send amazing messages to the guy, like, wow, you get to, you know, that's kind of anticipatory. It's kind of letting it so the wetness doesn't get in the way if you think that's kind of a problem with the wet spot. And I think that, you know, it's letting the guys know that this is gonna happen.

Sure, some guys can get a little, maybe they think, oh, God, so that's why I think if you tell them ahead of time, but I think most guys are like, cool. But, but. How many times have I said over the year that a lot of women just overthink everything? Everything. Guys don't, I so do men, but guys don't care.

They're so happy to be with you. Women, if you have hangups on your bodies, I'm telling you guys are not thinking about what you're thinking about. They are happy that you're having sex with them. They're so happy. He's so into the fact that you're right. They're happier in the room.

They're happier naked. They're happy to be having sex. They're not thinking, oh my God, she gained weight and not go to the gym and last week or whatever women worry about. Whatever you worry about, anything you're fine, don't worry about it. I want to answer that another important part of this question is she gets wet quickly.

And they're like, oh, she's ready for me, baby. So I'm just going to stick it in, which is like my biggest pet peeve ever when men skip foreplay all the time. You can say to them, yeah, I'm really turned on and I'm so hot and like you know, probably pulling their hand away from your pants and saying, I want to make out with you or like kiss my neck or just redirect them. And let them know you're not ready yet. If that doesn't work, then sometimes you could just say, listen, I get really turned on,

but I also love the four of play making out with you. It was hot or I want to keep thinking about you like going down on me and just say it. Stayed it because men have been talked or men think that you are turned on. You are ready and it doesn't necessarily mean that and not only that a lot of women Don't get wet on the other side of the equation. They don't get wet and they're also really turned on Some women get wet and they're not turned on so there's nothing California like the dryness level that it could be that there's gonna be a storm or something Or it's gonna be fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like oh, it's orange three because there's like a drought or whatever Uh-huh

I wish that for women there was some kind of indicator that we could be like, I'm a level four, I'm a level three because you can't tell by just the signs of a woman's body because there's certain times of months with a red and we're not. Eventually, there'll be a one-z with like some LED lights. So, tell me. You can be like, what does this, what does mean?

You're all good Rebecca. I love that you get turned on and you're in sex, so you're great. I think it's interesting, a lot of our emails, people just want to know, like, am I okay? Will you accept me? Will you still love me if I'm really wet? Is it cool that I cheated? Is it cool that I won anal?

It's fun. I'm wounding pegged. Most of the time you're cool, guys. You're good. Yeah, I know. You're all good people, and I'm here to tell you that, and give you tips. Yeah, Emily's here for you. Again, just go to sex.emily.com.

You guys make it so easy. We do. Just ask Emily. And then we've got all their answers there. Yeah, and if you're afraid here, I'm gonna give you a little tip. If you're afraid to go to sex.emily.com, don't be. All right, so you go to sex.emily.com,

get the information that you need, and then after you're done doing that on your cell phone, you go into your settings, and then you click web browser delete history. And there you go. Really? Yeah, just in case you're like, oh, I don't know. Why is it going to think I went to a porn site or my phone?

Yeah, or once, you know, to immediately, right after you go to the site, you've got to cover it. Delete your history. Or use, what is it, Bing? The search engine that's for porn. Mostly people use it for porn. Remember Bing? They do, yeah.

Apparently it's just for porn people just use it to search. That's it's more fun. Really? Okay. Yeah, I know being still a thing the thing for porn for us Yeah, so I didn't know people are using it for a porn show. Okay, there you go. Being yeah, they're so happy Okay, so thank you, man. It's great to see you Vegas with these people everyone loves to know if you want to come to Vegas. Yeah, I can I can figure that out I can do that. So excited. We finally had our 10-year anniversary show, but that was live sold out at the improv in two years, almost a year and a half ago. It's time.

I have an idea. I love you. Okay, great to see you. Everyone check out Menace's everything. My app menace. Does that menace? And follow my babies. They're in San Francisco right now. My two French bulldogs. My dog, Chiro and Chimie, the Frenchie on Instagram. If you're in French bulldogs, yeah. They're on vacation while I'm traveling everywhere. They're having the time of their life. They probably don't want to come back and hang out with me because I'm boring compared to what they're doing right now. They're having way more fun. They're very cute. You got to bring them back. I've been seeing little ones since you little. I know the Chimie, little baby. You're very cute. You got to bring them back. I've been seeing little ones and little. I know the chimmy. Well, dad. Okay, everyone. Thank you, menace. Thank you to my team. Thank you, Ken, Helena, producer, Lark, Jamie, and

Michael. Thank you for shopping at our store, checking out the site and just for being part of the Sex with Emily family and all of our new listeners. Menace, we've got a lot of new listeners. I know that's awesome. Thank you. So welcome and thanks for being here and telling your friends. I love you all. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me.

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