Sex With Emily - SWE: Anal Sex Tips

Episode Date: August 16, 2013

Anal Sex Month is here and I'm celebrating with a bunch of anal sex tips. If you're new to anal pleasure, this show will help you get comfortable with the idea of having something up your bum. Don't worry, it's not that scary. It's actually quite pleasurable if done correctly. Relaxation, lubrication, and communication are the three most important elements of anal sex. Although anal sex might not be the most peaceful activity, it will go a lot smoother if you move slowly and do it with someone you trust. If you think about it, there's perhaps nothing more intimate than letting someone inside your behind. So, why are men so obsessed with anal sex? Is it because it's taboo? Because it's an act of dominance? Or is it just because it feels good and guys love butts? Speaking of butts, the male G-spot is the prostate. It's about time guys start exploring their own anal pleasure. I'll tell you how. I also answer people's emails about getting over an affair and moving on when someone just isn't interested. Then I help a woman find her G-spot so she can potentially have orgasms in more than one way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of misogyny candles? Okay, so get this. I always like candles when I'm enjoying glass of wine with friends, and recently they were over and I lit three candles from a new line called Emelene Tony. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed.

And here's why. See, these candles are really erromotherapy massage oils that when warm like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself. You can use it during for play and you know me. I'm a firm believer in for play. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa, and fougère. Not just that, they look great in your home.

So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at EmilyAntoni.com. And you're welcome. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a bygone way. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got everything.

Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but all right? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. What do you mean like laundry? It's drink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm gone. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts. Sign up for a mailing list which you really should do because you'll get a free report

at the five biggest mistakes men are making in bed. And the five biggest mistakes women are making in bed, which you kind of want to know. And we're going to have some more products coming your way as well. And there's a lot happening on our site. So check that out. Also, follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily. Today's show is all about anal sex. I know you've probably heard about you know There's a lot of things going on But what you didn't know is that August is anal pleasure month brought to you by good vibrations in San Francisco

They also are the same people that brought you masturbation month in May. So if you missed that, you know That'll be come around again, but this is anal sex month and I'm here here with menace. Hey, menace, how you doing? How you doing? How is this? I didn't warn you that today's show is about anal sex. How is what? You didn't. And how is it just not anal sex month every day in San Francisco? Yeah, that's true. In San Francisco, it is anal sex month every month. Yeah. But, um, but now it's because here's a thing, man. It's because people always ask me and I was thinking about this before the show and it's like, people always say, Emily, what are the trends in sex? What are the latest trends?

And I always think about one of the top things that come to my mind is anal sex. And I even think it like, it was like anal is the new blow job. Now, this has been going on for a while, but I feel like it's like tab, you know, it still is that taboo and that people are kind of obsessed with anal sex. I mean, look at Howard Stern, right? Every guest who comes on the show,

I'd never try anal. Like even on love line, like they ask me like, what about you and anal sex? Like people are obsessed with it. And so I thought, you know, good vibration is having anal pleasure months just to celebrate.

It's a lot of things on their site if you go to goodvibes.com. But also just like tips to enjoy it, why people are so obsessed with it, what are the right ways to do it. I'm going to get into some of those tips today. So if you're curious about anal sacs, I'm going to give you some gateways, how to get into it, and to do it right. I'm also going to be reading your emails and all that stuff. So that's what's going on. Are you a fan of anal sex?

Am I, what about anal sex? Sorry. Are you a fan of anal sex? Of course, I don't think there's any guys that are against it. No, they're armed. I've met, well exactly. So the women, I think that women really are sort of a lot a lot of women and I think that it's because so I was asked recently by Cosmo Magazine why men love anal sex and these are some of the things that I thought that I wrote and I want to know what you agree

with and what you don't agree with because also that I've actually been with men several who don't like it they're like it's not my thing. I tried it once and wasn't into it. So I don't know that every man likes it, but I think a lot of men are really into it. So I think that men like it because they see it as taboo, which can be thrilling and daring and very sexually exciting for men. So do you see that more than it feels good, men? So it's more like, ooh, it's a taboo.

It's her ass. I get to put my dick in her butt. You know, what is it? Do you agree with that? I guess it's just the taboo and then you're like, go, well, it's probably you know, a little bit tighter, so it feels better. Type of thing, you know? Right. Right. Okay, so many men see anal sex as a gift from their female partner something rare and special. Oh really a gift Yeah, a gift like it's a gift like it's like hey, she's gonna give me her butt like I have a friend who's married And she's like when I get married and she's a married for five years now She hasn't done yet, but she's like then I'm gonna have anal sex with my with my husband and she's still afraid to do it Oh see she lied some guys like

Just lie-ish and cheaters no tricks. There's not true medis Also demonstrates a sense of no, they're not okay. I'll get into more of these later Let's just talk what's going on men. It's what's new with you in your life that I need to know I just got back from Chicago lovely weather in Chicago for law Laplusa music festival It sucks because sex family listeners always hit me up to hang out and I'm, you know, I'm at a festival with like 100,000 people. So I can't meet up with anybody.

I don't, you know, so. Right, he's working or otherwise, he would totally hang out with you and talk about anal sex all day. Yeah, but, you know, thank you. And I love the city. I love, I love the Midwest. I love Midwest women, um, Chicago, all that area in between,

in between the coast, basically, because I don't know. I see this time and time again, beautiful women, just with, you know, normal, looking guys, right? Just, just like, it gives you help. It gives me, it does give me hope because like it seems on the coast like he's either on the west coast. I don't know how much on the east coast, but definitely on the west coast, coast, Los Angeles,

uh, Sarasisco, the, the, the application of being a man, just, oh my God, on your resume. Okay, does he have a good job? Does he drive a nice car? Does he work out every single day? I don't see. And then a chick might hang out with you. I see in the middle of the country it just normal hardworking guys maybe like factory workers with like bomb shell hot women you know it's crazy but those those women those women if those women were in los angeles san francisco area oh my god you know they would expect you know men to buy them

you know shanelle bags all freaking day long, you know? Yeah. Well, that's your interpretation of women on the West Coast and the East Coast because I don't see that. What do you mean? What do you mean? Come on, stop playing. Stop playing. I'm not playing. You tend to date women who want you to buy them Chanel bags. I swear. I remember asking I had to buy me a bag, although when he does buy me a bag, I'm really appreciative. Yeah. But I didn't ask for it But I didn't ask for it. I didn't ask for it.

But I know what you're saying. The Midwestern, I mean, I'm from the Midwest. So if anyone gets offended, whatever we're saying, I feel like there are good Midwestern values. Like we're good people. We're not so caught up in that stuff, perhaps. It's not as bad as in San Francisco. I'm just kind of saying it, but yeah, I'll definitely lost Angeles.

It's insane. Lost Angeles, man. Los Angeles is a whole another world. I mean, the men here are it's so much about like the arm candy and the older guy with the younger women. I mean, you don't see that in San Francisco as much. Like here, it's like they're all aspiring to be, you know, actresses or whatever. I mean, it's like with a cliche that everyone says about LA, but now that I've been living here I see it all the time. Well the epidemic in San Francisco is the sevens think their tens with women. I told you that.

I came up with that phrase. There's so many. The sevens think their tens. Well, oh yeah, you told me that. But it's not just you. A lot of people say it's seven, the seven think their tens. It's crazy. Right. Because this is what happens in our area in San Francisco. I know there's a whole other country and people that listen,

listen around the world. Maybe you can relate to this. In San Francisco, I, I got to think of all the attractive women that I went to high school with. They all left the area and they went to Southern California or somewhere else, right? And all the weird and outcast chicks stayed here and they went to Berkeley or San Francisco state or they were kind of nerd. So they went, you know, they went to Stanford and all this stuff. The most attractive women that I went to school with did not stay here.

And it seems like all, there's a bazillion attractive women in Southern California. And it seems like they stayed there. And all the outcasts and, you know, the nerds. And believe me, I'm friends with outcasts and you know the nerds and believe me I'm friends with outcasts and nerds I like those type of people and I seem like they all came from Southern California and they came up here. But the thing is that's the pool of people that we have to date here. So the women that are maybe a seven think they're tens because guys, you know, they're like, well, this is all we have to choose from around here, you know?

Well, I don't know. I think that there's a lot of beautiful women and smart women and cool women that do move to San Francisco. I just think that you come to Los Angeles and you're like, oh my God, the woman, every single woman here is hot from like the waitress to the dry cleaner to the person washing my car to the person making copies of the you know at the At the copy store or whatever like everyone's hot. Yeah, it's true But I also think what they say about it, but I don't think that I'm attractive women and so but the thing is

What I'm trying to say about the rest of the country is There's a beautiful women way hotter than in is there's beautiful women way hotter than in northern California that just don't know that they're hot and they just don't act like it, you know, they don't have a chip on their show like, oh my god, you know, I need to take selfie pictures all freaking day and post it on Instagram and get satisfaction. Well, because people love you, I think what you're saying is, and what it's known is that every girl, they say, this is what my friends in LA say. I might produce her director friends, whatever. That like the hottest chicken, every high school class in America, like the top five hot

checks or the top two hot checks from every high school, everything, well, small towns in America, or in the world, really, but let's just talk about America for the sake of the story. And they all moved LA because they all think they can make it because everyone's like, wow, you're working at Costco but you should really be an actress. You're so pretty whatever and then they move out here and then they're all trying to make it right and some people make it and some people don't. It's tough. That's why I got into radio because my looks don't really matter, right? Of course. Of course not. I mean I did a little dabble here on there on television but you know what I'm saying. But it is true.

So how is your dating life? Are you gonna share one thing with me that I didn't know before? That you didn't know before? Just listen. Yeah, I know nothing. So that would be good for you to tell me one thing. I mean, nothing.

I don't have a wild and crazy drama-filled relationship. I'm not like you when I go up in I cabin with a bunch of people and my exes are hanging around or anything like that. I know, my exes, my exes do make me happen, but that makes your life that you should share more because the sex that I'm going to show is way more interesting than than my dating life. It's because you put yourself in situations and you feel or I mean at least you tell me that it doesn't matter that you go with a current boyfriend to a ex-boyfriend's cabin and you're all hanging out together like you tell that to an average person out there they would think oh my god that's drama filled,

and that's pretty freaking interesting, you know? I think it's not, right, I think it's really healthy for people to be friends with their exes. Like, my exes my ex from years ago. And so, I happened to bring my last boyfriend with my current boyfriend, not only to be with his, might be my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend at the time who's now my ex boyfriend,

but we all went, not only do we go to his cabin, we all went to Mexico together. Ridiculous. But I'll have you know, and I don't think I shared this with you, Menace, is that when my ex-boyfriend, now they're both my exes. So how do I explain this? The ex-boyfriend who arranged the Mexico trip, and then my boyfriend at the time, we all went to Mexico, right? There was like 15 of us. And my ex's girlfriend

was very jealous by about me being on the trip. Like she didn't like that I was on the trip. So there was some ramifications, even though I was there with my new hot boyfriend, she still was very threatened by my presence there. So it's not everyone is cool with it, not everyone gets it. And I don't think that you can necessarily be friends with all your acts is however We had the same group of friends and he knows me really well And I think a lot of times if you can like and we weren't friends right away It's not like you break up with your acts I'm not telling anyone if you break up with your acts of the next day

You'll be sitting around having coffee talking about who you're banging But it takes a few months like I was really devastated when I broke up with the ex, you know, and we took us a few months until we were friends again, and now it's been like, you know, six, seven years, and we're really good friends. But yeah, that is a weird story. Here's another weird story. So I went to a dinner party the other night, right? Because I'm in LA, and I don't know that many people.

I was dating a guy for a while, which sort of took up a lot of time, and now I'm not dating him anymore. And I figured, you know what? I'm just going to, I mean, my mean, it's like when I was on Bravo misadvised and I was like, say yes to everything, I'm just kind of like saying yes to every invitation that I get. So some guy messages me on Facebook, who I'm friends with.

And what the hell is it with Facebook PS by the way that they always turn chat on now, like whenever I go on Facebook, chat is on. I don't chat with people. Okay, I don't know. Okay, anyway, so my chat keeps getting turned on. Maybe that's just my technical issue. So, some guy chats me who I look at,

a first I have to look at who he is and I met him. I barely know him, but I met him at Sundance Film Festival years ago and he looks like a nice guy and I remember meeting him and we all of our mutual friends or people that I think are cool and normal. And he says, I'm having a dinner party. Next Friday night, please come, bring a girlfriend if you want. It's going to be like 20, 25 people. I've got great views. Come to my party. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to go. Just say yes, right? It's two weeks away. I said, yes. So I go to this party last weekend. And there was a lot of

young women like in their 20s and 30s and a lot of older men, maybe in their 20s and 30s, and a lot of older men, maybe in their 50s and 60s who were in the entertainment business, right? Like heads of studios and whatever. And the women were a little bimbo-ish except for me, and then the men were all like a little, you know, older and established. I'm like, is this the LA dynamic? Like, it wasn't all like that, and there were some really nice women. And turned out, that was my first impression, And I sat down and I talked to these guys,

not in a romantic way, but they're all really interesting men. And they don't all work in entertainment, but they're all more established, right? And you could tell a lot of the women and their little dresses and whatever were like trying to cozy up to them. It was just the typical L.S. store, L.S. right.

But there was just one guy and I gave him my card because he was interested. It was like more, we were having a work conversation. And I gave him my card and he said, oh yeah, maybe we can grab lunch some conversation. And I gave him a card and he said, oh yeah, maybe we can grab lunch some time. And I said, great. So I wake up at Saturday morning at 8 AM and there is an email from him.

A long email, wow, you were the highlight of my night. So nice to meet you. Then at 9 AM, my phone rings and he calls me. And I answer because I don't know the number. And I don't know why I answered. Because usually I don't answer. I don't know the number and I don't know why I answered because usually I don't answer I don't know or I was like, no, I am then he texted me so I talked to him. He's like, let's go out Then he texted me an hour later. So in a span of 12 hours of meeting this guy He called me. He texted me and he wrote me a long email

Wow, then I didn't answer and then he texted me again So I was like down boy down down down. This is like now I'm all four guys calling like I love when a man calls, but don't email and call and text and write and send smoke signals And you know God knows what else he was gonna do and it was so aggressive in my mind I was like whoa relax like he really wants a lockdown and date and then the next day texted me to lock down a date And I'm not even interested in them to me, I gave my card as a business thing. So now I need to tell him that I'm not interested in him. He was a perfectly nice guy until he delusional with every single form of communication that he had in his at his disposal. It's crazy. Don't you think

that's too much? It's a little too much. Yeah. This guy has some social problems. But he was very successful and like he's older, whatever. What? I was, you were just explaining the demographics of your party is because women that are not in their 20s or 30s in Los Angeles are already married and divorced. You know? And then they're dating, they're dating younger guys younger guys So you to get married and divorced soon and then you can just like live off the divorce money and then date like you know

I know see that's what I should have done I actually didn't do that young ladden studs like all the all the chicks from Orange County Real housewives. Yeah, that's not me. I know. I really, I really regret not being married into worse right now But who would have known just kidding people's but who would have known like if I married a rich guy or not like But it would be nice to have some you know, alimony or child support But I don't have that now and it's okay. I'm making a nice living with sex with Emily sort of Everyone so here's the thing so we're gonna get into anal pleasure month in a minute because we're gonna give you some anal sex tips But I also want to tell you about, I'm going to read some emails from the people first.

So I'm going to get into that in a minute. And then I was going to tell you that this show, anal pleasure month, is sponsored by Good Vibrations. So use coupon code GVMLE20 for 20% off orders of a hundred dollars or more which is an amazing deal and I'm going to give you some anal sex toys that you might like if you're into that kind of thing in a little bit but if not check out there's a jazoo line of vibrators and a lot of you have been emailing me and they're like what did you say? And it's jazoo j-e j-o-u-e I love everything in their line they're beautiful products they work really well're really powerful, they're great to use with your partner, some of them, they've been amazing rabbit vibrator, so many things, check it out.

Okay. Here's a quick question though, what's going on with your love life? Oh, other than that. Well, okay, so I am single again. I was I was dating this guy that I liked and it just didn't really work out. I think that Getting sick was a really like if I were in the Listen to the podcast a few weeks ago. I was in the hospital and I got really sick Which is crazy because I never get sick but it was sort of a wake-up call like I always friggin hate when people say everything Happens for a reason in life and blah blah blah like when you're in like the depths of despair and they're like

It's all happening for a reason that someone broke into your car or that, you know, whatever your dog got, you know, run over or whatever. But it really, it really was a wake up call for me to like look at clarity in my life and what matters and what's important. And I just felt like he wasn't the guy. That's what I say. And as a result, since then, I am not dating anybody right now, unless I go out with the guy who stalked me within a 12 hour period, but I'm not going to go out with him. But I do have an interesting online dating opportunity coming up. In a few months, I'm going to be doing some serious online dating. So I'll tell everyone about that. It's with one of our new sponsors, Menace, you're really going to like this.

But right now I'm just, you know, I meet guys and I'm like, wow, but I'm just not, I'm more like reconnecting with friends. And I don't know. Nothing exciting, really. Gosh, that's so not interesting. Because I'm constantly like reading, doing the show, studying sex, all that stuff. So I'll keep you posted when someone new comes in the picture. But right now, actually for show, studying sex, all that stuff. So, I'll keep you posted

when someone new comes in the picture. But right now, actually for me, menace, as long as you know me, doesn't there usually someone in the rotation? Of course. But there really isn't, like honestly, there isn't, and I think this is really healthy. Because I, and I know, I think people can relate to this.

I used to be the kind of person that jumped from one relationship to the next. And it wasn't on purpose, it wasn't like, oh, I can't be alone. It was like, I meet tons of guys. And I, you know, I was like, oh, I like this guy, I broke up this guy last night, and I broke up with this guy. But now I'm just like, God, I really do want some breathing room. Like, I really don't need to be in a relationship right now.

And I'd be happy just like hanging out with my friends or going out with the guy, but not getting really serious about anyone right now. All right, good. And that's about anyone right now. All right. Good. And that's what I've always, all right. You prove with that. Yeah. You down with that.

You probably heard me say that before, but this is real this time. Like when I was on my mandatoryum and I didn't have sex with any guys for six months, that was the big one. But I'm not going to do that again. Okay. I'm going to read your emails from the people. This is email me feedback at sexwithamily.com. I love hearing from all of you.

Okay, hi Emily. I've been married for four years this fall. My husband and I are completely in love and have a very caring relationship. Before we were engaged, I was unfaithful, but we stayed together and ended up getting married. When it comes to sex, we don't have it. We engage in flirting and then when it gets gets close to getting intimate, it usually ends up with me giving manual stimulation or oral for him. At this point, we only have sex three to four times a year. We have talked about it, and he says we need to be closer emotionally before we become more intimate. I am wondering if

this is from the infidelity and how do we ever get to the next step? He won't go to counseling,. I am wondering if this is from infidelity and how do we ever get to the next step? He won't go to counseling so I am stuck. Help. Thanks Eden. Okay Eden, I don't know what it is. You've been together for four years. It is true that a lot of times when couples stop having sex, it has to do. One of the biggest, there's like three main things, but a lot of it is they people say they don't have time, they have kids, and another thing is underlying issues. Like maybe he still really is upset with the infantility. I don't know what happened, but he needs to go to counseling.

I do not approve of, if your partner says to you, we need to go to counseling, you need to go to counseling. I don't know what everyone is so afraid of about going to counseling because it is the miracle cure for relationships. Either it will get everything clear because think about it. You're in a relationship, you've been with your partner for four years. You've been trying to have this conversation, you're trying to improve your sex life,

and it's not budging. So you know, definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again. Sometimes you need to bring in a third party and an accounts there that's going to help you. And if you can't afford it, there's always sliding scales, there's always like community services, but you guys need to go. It's imperative. Couples cannot get past things on their own. And it's true when a man or a woman feels emotionally disinformed, the partner they can't connect sexually. And it's been four years. So that's a really long time. And the more time that goes by day by day by day it's just going to get worse and worse. So he says he wants you more closer emotionally. It sounds like it's not

you're not able to bring you guys there so you do need therapy and it might be from the infidelity. He might not trust you. He might have his own insecurities. I don't really know what it was and I love that you were completely in love before. So maybe you can get back to that stage but he might not trust you, he might have his own insecurities. I don't really know what it was. And I love that you were completely in love before, so maybe you can get back to that stage, but better that you go to therapy and figure it out now. So that's what I think about that. I mean, don't you think menace have you been in relationship

or like you're having a motion, not that you have emotional issues, because you're always so happy. But no, like when something goes wrong or you're fighting, like it's just hard to connect them sexually sometimes when you have issues. Yeah, when I'm upset with somebody, I don't want to have sex with them. You know, most guys like, ah, whatever, I just, the more I get nagged or I have issues with somebody, the less I want to have sex with them. Exactly. Exactly. So that's just happens, like emotionally you get shut down. So I would say counseling would be your first step. You've been trying to do it for four years.

We all try to solve things on our own and sometimes you just need to help. That's all I gotta say about that. Okay, dear Emily, first off, love the podcast. I've been listening to it for a few months now and really enjoy it. I've greatly benefited from it as well. I have a problem though. I met a woman online about a week ago. Things seemed to go well so we exchanged numbers.

Then about a day or so later decided to go on a date. Last Sunday we decided to hang out at a bar and have a few drinks. Maybe play some pool and oh wait, I think. Okay, let me wait a minute. Okay, last Sunday we decided to hang out, have a few drinks, maybe play some pool and get to know each other.

It seems like things were going great. We were both engaged in the conversation. Let's end it here. Last Sunday we decided to hang out, have a few drinks, maybe play some pool and get to know each other. It seems like things were going great. We were both engaged in the conversation. We were flirty and never really seemed to have any awkward silences which can sometimes be an issue in first dates. We left there, on the way back to my house, I asked her if she wanted a chill and maybe watched some TV and she said, I guess so, but I have to do it early for work. For some reason, once you went inside my house, it became extremely awkward for 45 minutes, and then I decided we should end the date. I gave her a hug,

she left, I even sent her text asking if she was okay because she seemed uncomfortable. She replied, yes, I'm sorry I got awkward. I really don't get it. I sent her a message earlier and have yet to receive a response. Response, what should I do? I really clicked with her and I want to see her again but I don't want to see Needy thanks Matt. Okay Matt are you sure that it was awkward? I want to know why you think it was awkward. She could have been nervous or being in your house the first time but I need to know more details and if you haven't heard from her it probably means that you need to move on and she's just not that into you. If you tax it are already twice and you haven't her back, maybe she just got uncomfortable. However, I know a lot of women who get uncomfortable and maybe she was

thinking there was an expectation for you guys to like kiss or whatever and she wasn't ready for that yet. So, Wayne see if you're her back from her and if you don't, you got to date other people. What do you think, men? I totally agree. I mean, you should reach out to at least once and then if she's not responding, then just move on. Yeah, people when women don't respond or men don't respond, you could defy in a million different ways, but it's hilarious that book he's just not that into or she's just not that into. It's so true. Like they didn't get one over a car. They're not in the hospital. They're not sick. They don't

have to work late. Like we all know that in this day and age, if you want to get in touch with someone, you send a text. It's really easy. So just, you got to move, people got to move on quicker. Okay, dear Emily, I've been seeing a guy 11 years older than I am. He's 33, I'm 22, he has a nice size penis. I like him a lot. And the sex is, that's awesome.

And the sex is great. The only problem is I've only orgasm from my clitoris. I've tried to find my G spot. And even though we almost came close to me having a g-spot orgasm, it didn't work. He asked me the other day if I enjoy our sex life because I never get off when we have sex. How can I find my g-spot? Please help. Thanks, Abby. Okay, Abby. So here's the deal. So you said that you have clitoral orgasms. Do you have them during intercourse as well? I know you want to find your G-spot and the thing is 75% of women require

clitoral stimulation to orgasm during sex. So that's really common. You can also bring in a vibrator. Again, I love the J-Ju Mimi M-I-M-I-M-I which you could get at good vibes. So if you're interested in G-spot stimulation during sex, I always say doggy style is a great position to explore, but also you really need to explore your G-spot on your own.

So or he can use his fingers. So sometimes the best way for a couple to get the woman to experience her G-spot is to first have him use his hands, like to stick his fingers, like one of his fingers like in a cum-headler motion, like up of his fingers like in a come Heather motion. Like up the 2-3rd wall of the vagina and then there you can feel the G spot. I'm sure you probably know this, but it's the G spot is that little, it feels like a round little, like a raspberry pit or something. Like it feels like a peach pit, but it's a lot smaller. And sometimes you need pressure on it. So you just need to play around with what feels good for you.

Use lots of lube, use his fingers, spend a day in bed looking for your g-spot. And then when you have inner course with him, it'll be easier to guide his penis so it's hitting your g-spot. But don't be all bummed out about it. At least you're having orgasms. And you said that it almost worked the other day. So I would say, don't worry about it. It's common, no pun intended, but spend some time

without his penis in your vagina trying to figure it out. That's what I got aside about that. So let's move into our anal sex month, unless you have anything to say about g-spot stimulation. No, it just is a difficult thing to do, so don't get frustrated if you can't do it. It is, right? Don't you think, like, do you feel that that most women you probably don't know exactly but like

you know do you guys ever talk about it the G spot Clitoris you're just happy to head Norgazam right? Yes. Okay so that's most man. Well we're happy that all you're okay so what do you say? Like most men. Most men I know. Okay so it's anal sex month.

Okay, so anal sex month, what does that mean? Okay, so I think that I was saying earlier that I think it is sort of a trendy thing. Not trendy like as in the last six months, but probably in the last 10 years, I don't feel like people talked about anal sex that month. That's why I always say anal is the new blow job. A lot of people wait till they're married to give it

or a man are fascinated by it. And I started to read some reasons. I'm going to get into some tips for it. But men, you know, I think that it demonstrates some men think that if a woman, if he's anal sex with a woman, that it demonstrates a sense of love and trust from his female partner, that she's willing to give all of herself to him. To her false menace. True. True.

Okay. Here's another one. Many men just love the female behind and want to be close to it. Really close to it. Chew or false. True. Okay. Next one, it simply feels really good to many men.

True. True. Okay. And it's uncharted territory, going back to the whole taboo thing. Yeah, I don't know. Guys, get off that it's taboo though. It just seems like the term that you're using is, I don't know, it's like what chicks used to describe things, you know, I don't see a guy, guy really tripping off it because it's taboo. Right, but it is sort of something different. He's so used to the vagina and now he's like, wow,

there's something kind of different and it's like it's for bit in and not every woman does it. Yeah. But you know, maybe not. So, um, Akira's a quote from Carol Queen, who's a sex educator, expert we love, Carol Queen. She says, well, ain't her pleasure is widely enjoyed. It's still considered taboo. So access to clear and accurate information about it is sadly limited. That's why good vibrations declared August to be anal pleasure month away to illuminate the subject and make information available to interested adults. So, um So it's fun and it's fascinating. So, okay, so here's the thing.

Anal sacs, here's some tips, should be pleasurable and not painful. A lot of people, women in particular, are kind of freaked out. And we're not talking about gay sex here too, but gay sex, gay men, obviously experience, these are a lot of tips that they can use as well. A little knowledge about anal sacs, which is what we're trying to do here, it makes a lot of difference. There's also anal toys for beginners and experienced players. So some of the anal toys that you might have heard about are like butt plugs. Have you heard of a butt plug? So they're designed basically to be inserted and held in place by the anal muscles. So

they're not like an in and out, like a slim little dildo that you can use. And many people use butt plugs. I'm sorry, I'm explaining this because I get asked all the time about butt plugs. Many people enjoy the sensation of fullness, especially when they're doing other activities like oral sex or intercourse, they like to have a butt plug in them. It just feels really good. And also during orgasm, the anal muscles contract along with the vaginal muscles and penis, so butt plugs can intensify the entire experience.

As far as other products, if you're a man and you want to experience some things, there's the anal sex for men. It does not mean that you're gay. A lot of men like their prostate stimulated. It's called the male g spot. So max ferment, which we love, one of our sponsors, you can check them out. Max g stimulating prostate gel, if you're just starting to explore the male g spot. If you want to try any of their products, max ferment.com, that's max number four, and use coupon code Emily 25. They've got amazing products from N

and it just might help you explore the prostate. And there are a lot of men who don't even realize it and they think, oh, it's gonna make me gay, but I'm telling you, there are a lot of men who like a finger in their butt or a little vibrator. The vibration feels really good and it can give you an incredible orgasm. I've seen it happen and it exists and you're not gay. Okay, here's some tips for anal

sex. Okay. The first tip is relaxation. The most important, okay, first of all, the three most important ingredients to anal sex play is relaxation, lubrication and communication. Okay, so first you got to relax. Everyone's got to chill the F out. It's made of two separate muscles, the anus that are about a quarter inch apart. The more you relax you are, the more relaxed the muscles will be. If you have stress and anxiety and you're worried that it's going to hurt and what if I have to go to the bathroom, it can make your anus tighten. And that makes it less pleasurable and possibly painful. So first, I always say, if you're starting with anal sex,

start with a finger and start with lots and lots of lubricant. Like you want to be lube because like the vagina lubricates itself, the anus does not. So if you start getting turned on, you know, doing other things that your anus might relax because you're already feeling turned on. So you can also try, you know, inserting like I said, a finger or a toy, vibrations are great. A little vibration, start off with something slim though, like a slim little toy

and don't force or rush it. These are for first time anal players. They often need to get used to these feelings, so go slow, okay? Slow, slow, slow. The slower the better. And anytime you want to chime in, menaceibes, doom and uvete anal sex. But maybe not. Okay, so lubrication. Unlike the vagina, doesn't produce lubrication. So everyone needs lube. Even if you're only playing externally, the lube will enhance your experience. And by the way, lob enhances all experiences. I sexually, I have a lubricant line coming out, go to emilyantone.com, put in your email address.

I made the most killer lubricant that I'm going to be giving away samples in two weeks. It's coming out. So check it out. But generally, for anal sacs, thicker lubricants work better since they create more cushioning service to protect the sensitive issues. Water-based lubricants, which is what most people use, they're a slippery texture but they tend to dry out and you definitely need a lot of lube. So if you use a silicone lube, they never dry out, but they're harder to get off because they're waterproof. So just figure out what you want and what feels good to you,

but you always want to use a condom. There are many diseases, there are things you can catch during anal sex. And I know it might be a bummer, and people don't love condoms, but you gotta use a condom during anal sex with the lube on top of it. Agree? Do you use lube menace?

A lube in anal sex? I mean, you kind of have to. You have to, but do you use lube in general lube in general no okay I know I'm gonna send you all my lab and when my Emily why you want everything why I know I know women love loob and sometimes yeah you do need it but like why do you want it like flopping all over a place with Loub? Right. No, honestly. Why do you want to be like...

Do you think it flops all over? I think like... Because it feels good. Slip it all over a place. Why don't you keep... Guys want to keep stuff nice and tight, you know what I'm saying? I know but it doesn't use too much Loub. Don't pour half a bottle down her vagina but sometimes it just helps if she's lubricated and then she goes away, you know sometimes you have sex and she's really wet at first and then she's not wet. There's nothing wrong with like whipping out some lube. It feels really good.

I feel like it always feels better. And I get wet, I'm wet, but sometimes I just like a little extra lube. And sometimes it's good for like if you're fingering your partner or whatever, you can put all of her body. Lube's awesome. So the next thing is communication. Talk to your partner about anal play. Make sure you're both enjoying it.

Are they comfortable? What sensations feel good to you? So people who are like new to anal play, they might, they might not know. They might not be able to say, well, I like it when you stick it in this way, because they've never tried it. So just try different options and see what feels better to you. So you can try a bunch of different things.

Like I said, there's butt plugs, there's slim little vibrators that work, and you might benefit from that before going straight ahead with your penis. So choosing an anal toy. Their great way to explore, like I said, different sensations, start out with something slimmer, there's glass toys, there's dildos, there's butt plugs, you can check them all out at goodvibes.com. Safety tips. Okay, you've got to be clean. It's more of a concern for anal play than other types of sex.

Make sure that any toys are cleaned and covered with a condom. So even if you're sticking a toy in your partner's butt, you've got to cover it with a condom. So even if you're sticking a toy in your partner's butt, you gotta cover it with a condom. You can disinfect them afterwards, but be sure that you use a condom and use clean. Make sure that they're clean. Even calluses and like fingernails, like, you know, I hate this, like when guys have weird fingernails

hang things like, do they have hay nails? You gotta be, you gotta make sure that your hands are not too rough and there's calluses and all that because that could really hurt. Yeah. So, that's another tip. So, anal sex, this is another tip.

It can be enjoyed even if it's been consistently uncomfortable in the past. So a lot of people have like one really bad anal experience and they're like, oh my god, I can never do it again. And so chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort during sex. So tension can be relieved if you touch the anus and you become more familiar with it. So a lot of people if you masturbate with you probably do you can start playing around with your anus by yourself. You can stick a finger in there, you can stick a toy in there where you're taking a shower or a bath to see how it feels. Like start exploring it again because you might have had like post traumatic anal sex disorder.

If you had someone who just tried to shove their penis inside you and you're like, no, no, I never want to do it, try exploring it on your own and see how it feels. You can also breathe really deep. That affects the anal muscles. You can tense them and then relax the anal muscles. It's another way of letting go. So that is a really good tip, breath and relaxation. And also anal stimulation provides so many kinds of pleasure.

They're the highest concentration of the nerve endings or around the anal opening itself, which is why sticking a finger in can be really effective. So and there's also other pleasures involved when the penis is inserted beyond the anal opening, but we will get to that in a minute. But that's the most sensitive part. And also, people always want to know, mannus, they always want to know, can anal sacs lead to orgasm or anal stimulation? And there is a minority of people that respond orgasmically to anal sacs

without direct genital stimulation. So orgasms from anal stimulation, they think occurs mostly when the people get, it gets like absorbed through their sensations or their fantasies or they're really thinking about it a lot and they're had and they're having these fantasies. And that could, that could, you can have an orgasm that way. Also, if you're touching your genitalia and something's in your anus, that can also cause an orgasm. So those are some of my tips. And oh, another thing is it can be safe and beneficial. Even

if it's taboo and all that stuff, and there's risks of sexily transmitted diseases. There are many people with chronic mental problems, like anal medical problems that have restored their anal health by challenging their negative attitudes and they've learned to love their anus and love having their anus penetrated. So that's what we got for you for anal pleasure month. And I hope everyone in six fours or anus, and you know what? If you don't have anal sex, next time you're masturbating, just use a little lube and stick your finger in there and see how it fails. That's all you got to do. I'm just asking you to do that.

I'm not asking everyone to have anal sex. I'm not even saying you should ever do it. I'm just saying play around with it because, as I often say, our bodies have so many erogenous zones that we don't even know about. And life is too short and not to explore them. Just do it today. Do something different with your sex life this week. Something a little bit different, not the norm. Do something different, Menace. I think you should have some anal sex to speak if you haven't already.

Okay. Okay, how's that? Sounds good. Anything else? Download, sit your to listen to this show. That's always a good thing. Or are we wrapping up, I'm sorry. Yeah, I guess we'll wrap this up.

Okay, I'm sorry. I don't know. Oh up. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Well, just the thing is just think is just don't force it that I mean, bring it up that you want to do it, but don't like Try to force it on somebody because when you try to force it on somebody then it's never gonna happen, you know when you try to force it on somebody, then it's never gonna happen. You know, bring it up. Exactly. Maybe have a couple of drinks, so bring it up again,

oh, wouldn't that be funny? And then just take your time with it. Don't just try to shove it in there. Don't shove it in there. Make sure she's prepared. Make sure she's prepared. Make sure she's relaxed. A lot of times it works if she's laying on her side

like in the spooning position and an amen can kind of work it in that way but that's a great point, menace. Like guys who are like, I'm just going to stick it in. We're really drunk and I'm just going to f you from behind and you're in it. Like that is a way to get a woman running for the hells. Like you really want to like, again, start with a finger, start slowly. Just even when you're having sex and you're like, I wonder if she didn't be into this or not. You can just like stick a finger in there or start like rubbing the rim of her anus and seeing if she pulls your hand away.

Now even if she pulls your hand away, it doesn't mean that she might not ever want anal sex. It just means maybe it's new to her and she needs to warm up to it. So I feel like again, like the less aggressive you are as a man trying to anal sex with a woman, the more chances you are likely to find a woman who actually wants to have it. Right? Of course. Of course.

And like, you leave and communicate and all that crap. It's all really important. All that stuff. It's all really important. And I just think that it just comes up all the time and I want to help people have better anal sex, especially during the month of August You know everyone wants to do that. And that's what I got everyone wants to do even if they say don't they don't want to They're not everyone. I mean, there's some guys, but I always wonder there are men that I've dated in recent

Tantra recent time. They're like nope never had it not into it. Mm-hmm And I don't know why that is you'd think they would want to have it once. But some guys just don't because that's what makes the world go around right. Not everyone loves anal sex and not everyone whatever. So I just want people to try new things and have really great sex. That's what sex with Emily is all about. I like it. You like it, men? I miss you darling. It's so good to talk to you. I know. I want to get back to Los Angeles and we've got to do a show together in LA. When you come in. Man, that I'm available. I don't know yet.

I just come in town for a couple hours. That's always. Okay, so you're a manist. They can find you on Instagram. And download Stitcher. As Stitcher, there's a totally free app that you can download for your smartphone or your tablet, and you can listen to the show, totally for free, just type in sex, and it'll pop right up. Exactly, it's so awesome. You can listen to it on your smartphone.

Like I always listen to it, and I'm driving a traffic, which is all the time I listen to all the podcasts they have. They have so many podcasts. I mean, mine's the one that you really want to listen to, but they have like how many, like, hundreds of thousands of podcasts. Something like that.

Okay, thanks, Madness. Thank you. You're awesome. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? E-Mommy. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Have you guys heard my news?

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