Sex With Emily - SWE: Backdoor Sex

Episode Date: May 15, 2013

Emily talks about cheap date ideas, from the childhood activity of flying a kite to slugging back some beers at a pub. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a good time and try something new. Speaking of trying something new, Emily discusses people’s obsession with anal sex. If you’re interested in having backdoor sex, Emily shares how to talk to your partner about trying it and how to make it pleasurable (not painful!) for you both. If you're interested in backdoor sex and improving your sex life, check out my sponsors: Crazy Girl, Masque, and Good Vibrations.Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Crazy Girl.Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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They come in delicious sense like creme de vanilla, cocoa and fujer. And they're hydrating, and they leave your skin feeling super luxurious. We even have a product for the guys called Down Under Comfort that helps keep their balls smelling fresh and clean and dry all day, which is exactly what you want, right? So guys, if you take care of your balls, your partner will take care of you. So help us keep this podcast free. Use code Emily to get 20% off your first purchase at Emily and Tony.com. Trust me, you'll love them, and you're welcome. Book into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on me. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta have a stand. It's a lie. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I'm off here. So, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Avaline's not the kind of girl you just play good. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information go to sexwithemle.com. Hey, man, what's up? Hi, how you doing? I'm good. How are you doing? I'm really excited because I actually, I was on my way to Pixar yesterday. Sorry, just to dive into a story, but let's just do it. I was driving to Pixar to go check out Cars 2.

Everybody goes to it because it was amazing. And I plugged in my iPhone and I streamed the Sex with Emily's show through the Sitcher app. We record the show at Stitcher.com. Right. And I really enjoyed the show yet. I know, so did I. It was really good. I liked it.

Not to chewed our own horn and stuff like that, but... Well, it was funny because I liked it. I don't tip it. There was a lot of pussy talk on it, that's what I was like. A lot of pussy talk. Now, look how easily it rolled up your tongue today. Well, I just want to throw out once. When we were doing the show yesterday,

it was at like 15 to 20 times in a row. I know. But you were uncomfortable by your face turn right when you said pussy, but just now you said pussy. Like you're saying now it's embarrassing me because I hear various. You were embarrassed yesterday. But it was funny because men is actually, I got home from a party. I went to a friend's book party last night. Sounds amazing. And I came home and I was like, I'm going to watch, I'm going to check out the show because I don't typically watch a show, but since it's a new format and I was watching it and I'm like, oh my God, it's funny.

And then men has called me, he's like, I was just listening to the show. And like you just mentioned, Stitcher is an app for any smartphone that you can download and stream the show so easily. Yeah, you have to be a friend of benefits member to get the full show. So just go to sexwithendlin.com, sign up,

and then you'll get your password and then you type in your password on your mobile phone, and you only gotta do it once, and then it just stays saved in your phone. And it's amazing, because I just plugged it into the speakers of my car, and I was just like, you're like, we're funny, right?

Were you like, we're funny? Yeah, I was mostly about my jokes, because they're hilarious. So I don't laugh at you. Yeah. But yeah, everyone wants to become a friends with benefits member. You get full audio and video episodes anytime on demand.

And if you're saying yourself, oh, I've been getting it for free and why should I pay now? It's like millions of people have helped their sex life through the scene to the show, by listening to the show. And we've been doing it for free for the last six years and we want to make a living out and do it full time. So we just appreciate you supporting us and supporting the show and the friends benefits. So believe me, we've tried every single avenue to give it to you for free

for five years and this is what we have to do. And if you're upset by that, I'm sorry. And if you don't want to pay five dollars, I apologize, but this is what we do. 495 to keep the show going. Exactly. And then we're bringing you so much more content every day. We've got blogs, we've got videos, we've got interns doing amazing stuff, sex story reviews. As we talked about yesterday, they're so excited about their sex story reviews and porn reviews and lots of fun stuff coming up. So how was it a sexy book?

It was a sexy book party. It was a Gump's which is a department store in San Francisco which is a beautiful department store. My friend, I gave her a shout out a few weeks ago. She wrote this book called Eco-Amazon's all about women doing amazing things and she had another book party last night that I went to. Okay. Yeah and her name is Dorka, Keen. If you want to check out her book, if you care about the environment and women who are doing great things. Yeah. And that's what I do last night and then I went home and I was watching the show.

And then you tell- If she's part of the thing that's in town right now. What thing? I'm sorry if it's in your sex and the news. But they just released a story today about there's like an eco sex convention this weekend in San Francisco. Did you know that- No, but my one of my sex school friends just texted me about it. Yeah.

So apparently- There's a vehicle. How do I not know this the how did I not know this I'm gonna go because you're all into that hippie crap so I figured that you would already know okay she said I don't have to say what she said because I already I know the sexuality thing it's seven I should go yeah you should go I so this is what I heard about it. It's like all weekend so like these people they're like green like all weekend. So like these people, they're like green, that are, they get off on having sex in nature and like being with nature. And like some of them even like married the earth and like Mary Snow and like Mary, there was like a bunch of other stuff that they were married. I love it. It was cool though. They're just like, yeah, you know, they're

really into just like having sex in the middle of fields Yeah, we talked about that all the time sex outdoors. Yeah, but there's like nobody's like a religion Yeah, they get off on it. Right crazy. Yeah, which I just think it can be uncomfortable and you get sticks up your butt Oh, so maybe we should go to the convention and something speaking of Speaking about your butt today's show It's anal sex Friday. We're gonna be talking about anal sex. Today's show, it's anal sex Friday. We're going to be talking about anal sex today on the show. Yeah. And which I know that menace is probably excited about. And then it's a huge topic with all the fellas. Oh, it is. Do you hear friends talk about it?

No, we don't talk about it. I don't talk to my friends about sex. You don't ever? No. Do they ask you for advice now? Because you should be an expert too, but by having sat hair for five years. No, they don't ask me for six months. It's a good idea. I'm kind of relieved. Not in the bedroom or anything, but I give them advice on how to deal with certain situations in the relationship.

You do? Yeah. Oh God, poor friends. So. No, my friends, dude, they love my advice. No, I'm kidding. Your advice is good sometimes. Okay, so. My advice is take no shit. From my advice. I'm kidding. Your advice is good sometimes. Okay. So my advice is take no shit.

From my nice, be nice. You know, be respectful, but don't take no shit. What kind of shit are you talking about? I'm saying if you, if you are a man, you work every day, you provide for your lady. And you're not, you're not, you're not a dickhead to her. You treat her with respect. and then suddenly she's trying to get all crazy with you and give you crap about something. I'm telling you, don't back down and kiss her ass, stand up and be a man.

So you have friends who have issues, they're the provider and the women are... Taking advantage. How so? How are they taking advantage of them? I need specific details. Because they don't treat them with the same respect. That's why that they they give them what do they do? What do the women do? What are they women? Example example of maybe He wants to go out with his friends and go to a bar, right? And then so she starts getting freaks out and starts being crazy

a bar. And then so she starts getting freaks out and starts being crazy. That's what we're knowing. I think you have to give men their time. You have to give men and women their time with their friends. Yes. So that's what I said. That's just one of the things that we're going to be doing. We're saying women are drama right. Right. Right. Right. And it goes, it goes both ways. Totally. You know, right. You accept it. That's just my attitude. It's like be respectful. Be nice. Be cool. but once somebody starts trying to take advantage of you, you gotta like nip it in the bud like immediately. Yeah, I guess so.

I don't know, I guess I don't know that many women or men, I don't know, I don't have that same situation. Like, I don't know, I'm not like that, I don't take advantage of that. Because your friends are hallowed drama, you tell me the stories all the time. They're not drama, they're just funny, they're not drama, they're not not like I mean my man take care of me and I'm not you know it's not like that like I'm not like that yeah friends that want to text guys and tell them how much they love that the guy's spooge in them like five times yeah I don't have friends like that that's funny it's sexting oh my god I got a

million responses yesterday I put on Facebook do you want a sex or do you want to have phone sex or sex what would you prefer and it was it was It was 50 50 I think 50 50 yeah people are to sexting and phone sex more Sucks down on the phone. Yeah, sexting is so much better. So it just comes naturally to me though I think I'm a professional, but I can just do it. I can like oh, yeah, I can just snap the back I'd be so afraid that you were recording me like you would be saying such such outlandish things And then getting me to say something and then you would be like I would never record you I would never record you I've never recorded anyone illegally unlike you although it

wasn't illegal you just tape them and I don't see people on the phone no but you take them having sex and then you have a library I keep thinking of you being like that movie sex lies in video tape like you have I don't have a hidden camera in my room somewhere no I was like a guy once where I I was wearing the hidden camera no I was having a hidden camera. No, I started freaking out because it's kind of creepy. He's the same guy that I had sex with. I told you I had Coachella outside. When I first started seeing him, I hear something about him

that was a little sketchy. And I really had this moment where I'm like, I think he's got a camera in here. That's from the time to end the relationship when you have feelings about someone. Something's not coming. I don't think there was. I probably by now was years ago five six years ago But I've one time I asked him like I just feel like there's something freaky in your apartment going on

I was like Are you taping out cuz he was Bad so easy to spot hand cameras though at least for me When you could like do do do do yeah, you can track it I wouldn't I'm so not a detailed person that there could be like a whole crew and I'd be like really oh they're they're taping on it. Yeah. No, I'm like not paying attention to details. Okay, so yeah. Yeah, what's going on with you? It's Friday. What's going on with your DJF baby? My weekend is I'm going to a birthday party tonight. Have you been to

the new Phoenix Hotel yet? How they changed it? Do you remember it was back? No, I keep like getting invited to go. Yeah, tonight there's like a birthday party for like four friends there and it's really fun. It's a really I know, I know. I know, I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I he's planning it because I told him that I just Don't bring that to the table. I don't bring planning

No, not to ever say that again. Yeah, probably he's like what do you want to do? He's older. He's older. He's like how does he not know that by now did not ask the woman? What do you want to do? Well, we've been dating for a while, so he's just like, what do you feel like doing Saturday night? And I'm like, I don't care. I don't care. You just decide, you just decide, please. Is it going to take you somewhere riveting,

like a, like a, some science fair or something? No, I think we're done with that. But speaking of which, we do have some date tips coming up. Since it's the weekend, we thought we should give people some ideas about some fun different kinds of dates you can do this weekend. And some of them might seem cliched to you but be like yeah I can do that but really people are so boring they get so stuck in their routines that I'm

just gonna name some fun things that you got you can do that you haven't done before. Oh they better be good I'm gonna rip them. I know you are a manist and you just have to be kind because people get stuck and rotted the same thing like let's run a movie let's order pizza let's do nothing let's just sit home and not have sex like here are some fun things you can do like go fly a kite we're gonna be talking about that things you can do, like, go fly a kite. We're gonna be talking about that in a minute. Flying a kite? Flying a kite.

Flying kites could be fun. Yeah. See, there you go. You have to find the right girl that's into flying kite. Yeah, it's hard to do. It's hard to do. I'm not saying it's easy. You are not a flying kite girl.

No, I'm not, I'm not a big flying kite girl. But I would, like, if a guy was like, oh, I guess, if we were already there, like. Yeah, see, that's our, your first oh, I guess if we're already there like yeah See that's our your first response. I guess and then boom I'm trying to think of like my best dates. I've ever had and I just Can't even think like what was like a great. I think it's more like about the connection like I feel like I don't care Where we are for connecting and we're doing something fun and we're talking and like always talking about connection Like do you not know what that means? No know what it means it's like it doesn't you know what I'm saying yeah but you're talking about places to go well I am

giving people because some people have been together for so long that it's like or or even if you're new for state and you want to try something new we have some ideas that we're gonna give to you but I feel like if I try to go back into my mind I'm doing like the the mental flipping of all the dates. The best ones are when I actually like the person, and we were just at dinner or seeing concert or something like that. Something fun.

All right, what you got? Okay, this is what I got. In mail today, we're going to be talking about foot fetishes, good sex, and bad relationships, what to do about them. How do you know when you're a boyfriend, girlfriend, and SNM, and on today's show, you're also finding everything you really wanted

to know about anal sex, but we're afraid to ask. Cool, it sounds really good. I already got a bunch of ideas and things I wanna talk about with just the list that you provided. What do you mean list type, oh, oh, of all those things? And then we've also got some, yes, sex in the news, of course, and some sex tips, some, you know, some dating tips, dating places to go.

Cool. That kind of thing. And then we have this poll that we have. Okay, so here's our poll that we had this week. At sex with Emily. At sexwithfamily.com. We need everyone to go vote on these polls. So this was the poll we were asking,

are you happy with your sex life? Okay. 13% said I would be just happy having any sex. 20% said yes, but I want to start trying new things. 23% said my sex life is great. I'm having plenty of sex these days. So 23% of people are happy, but 44% said no I want more. So almost half the people are like not having enough sex. They want more. Those were guys that just want to have more sex. Maybe, but it's not always a menu. Do you know that's a myth that we took yesterday's show is all about the breaking sex myths? That there is a myth that like men have this huge sex drive and women don't want sex, but I can't tell you like I think it's like when you get a little bit older, maybe like in your 20s, maybe in your 30s, I feel like

I have so many women who dating guys and they're like he does one sex he does one sex because I think that men get bored with sex when they're with someone for a long time typically and so maybe they stop or they're sex that's when you have to start to spice it up. I have been noticing a lot recently that the women that at least that I'm around are worse than the guys. What do you mean? About just like going out and getting laid What do you mean the worst in the guys? They're going out getting laid a lot there Yeah, they're drive to go have that happen is like I Guaranteed like twice as much than the guys. What do you think that's about? What do you think that's testament to no?

20s late 30s just like yeah No, mid 20s late 30s just like yeah, like they're like I just want to get late I just want to have fun. I friends were like I'm literally I just need to have sex I just need to I just want to bring I think I just want to break it down as Their teens early 20s they might have had a boyfriend or girlfriend for a couple years and they're really serious and they're in so In love and then they broke up with them. They're like, oh, I just want to have fun, you know, and they could have been doing that earlier in life instead of being locked down for you. See, I locked down. I always locked down. I was a serial monogamous from like 18 to like 28. I had boyfriends always, two and a half years, two and a half years, two and a half years, and I was just like,

done. I was like, I don't want you to do more. That's why I was so crazy. Why? Because I was always locked down. But I were so down. You didn't have your fun earlier. I know. So I'm having so much fun now. I'm having way more fun. Like my friends are like, are you like 20? Like, what are you doing? The way I live my life.

But I think that's fine. I think I'm doing it in reverse. And I'm loving life right now. It's amazing. So here's the new poll that everyone has to go answer. And we talked about this last week on the show. We did a man's escaping, women's escaping show. How do you feel about hair below the equator?

No preference on natural is best trimmed. Please are full Brazilian wax no hair so people gotta vote on that Okay, I thought you already had that vote though. No, we didn't do that on that shot. We didn't do it on the poll No, this is the new poll we posted today. We're posting three polls a week Okay, sorry. We talked about it just recently, so that's why I was talking about it. I know. It's okay. It's totally fine. So then we've got some, yeah, that's what we're doing.

So we got some sex in the news. Okay. Okay. Well, first I'm going to get into the data ideas for the weekend. The data ideas for the weekend? Yeah. Okay. So because they're here.

Okay. Okay. You could do whatever's in front of you. You're like, effort, I'll read it. Okay. So what do you got? Cook a meal together. That's a fun thing to do.

So, cook a meal together. That's great. So, when a guy comes over your house, cook a meal for Emily. I just got myself in big trouble. I am not saying this is me. Because I didn't point. How are you trying to suggest that to other people

when you can't even cook next? Order and pizza and have a candle it dinner. That's what you can do. I can do all these things. I'm just saying Go on a hike bike ride kite flying a long walk bring a picnic. That is so fun bring a picnic. I thought fun dates like that. Oh, no picnic nature a picnic. I thought fun dates like that. Oh no picnic nature. What is a picnic is fine. Kite flying is a stretch. Kite flying came up today. One of my interns said the guy was like let's go kite flying and she was like no thanks. Okay yes. Yeah but it didn't work for her but it came work for us. But then my other intern Aaron was like oh that'd be really fun. So see what I mean. I seriously have like a little mini focus. Should we? I know it's like a little mini focus group in my office every day

I'm like who's on this who's done this and it's amazing because they're all different, you know, so it's great Okay, where was this time you went out dancing? Dancing's fun We were kind of dancing when we went out last week drunk in the Castro. Yeah, I like dancing Down on dancing. Yeah, that's fine bubble bath and a jug of wine. This was our most wow. Yeah. That's awesome. No, we all love that one. Like taking a bath with a guy is hot. Is that real life or is that real life in real life? You can take a bath. I'm amazing cloth foot club. Top in my house. Like do a bath in there. Okay. Play a game of hide and seek in the house or at the park. Who's gonna do that? Okay. Hi, I'm Pei Odie or something. Movie night. Knock off movies on your two watch list.

I need to do that. I need to sit home. I just want to be locked up in a house for like two weeks watching movies. I haven't seen any movies in like ten years. Wow. I don't know. Understand what you're doing with your free time. I know.

We neither. I don't. I don't understand. I don't like that. You don't have free time to watch some of this stuff. I just busy Busy doing what? I don't work at museums. Yeah museums. Not having sex really. Okay go to the pub and watch a game. Go to the pub and watch a game. Yeah, no lately like I've been running into a lot of see the thing that sucks is I have to fake that I like sports Right, you're one of those guys. That's a very San Francisco male thing I can't never put you in the typical San Francisco male category

But a lot of men in Sanford live and my friends are not in sports. It's not like a sporty town. I was when I was younger Right, but I played baseball or something, right? No, I played soccer, right? Which is not really a sport, just kidding, for all our listeners around the world. I don't want to piss you off. But I was really, yeah, I was really into sports. Sports team, I collected all the cards and all that stuff in the early year sevens, right? Something, but now it's just, it's a time thing. I don't have time to say watch a game forever. But some people are really into a go-to game. Going to a game is super fun fun even though baseball is so boring

So I love going to our giant stadium. It's so fun. Yeah, I don't like Feel trip. We're gonna do a field trip there basketball games are amazing basketball games are super fun I grew up going to Detroit Detroit pistons basketball games. Yeah, they were really good team I'm but I yeah, but no What I was gonna say is there's a lot of like smoking hot chicks that are in like die hard in two sports. Yeah, I'll tell you this. Here's a little secret that if you guys don't know what the hottest ones are into hockey. They love the hockey players. I know. I got friends because of

the they get off on the violence like all the fights. No, the guys are hot. No guys are hot That's what I think I have friends who are so into hockey players and date them and sleep with them Like I've those there's a whole group of women who are just like into dating hockey groupies. Yeah, totally. I'm not into that But the violence I hate it. Oh, don't want to watch but that's what I hear the hot chick So maybe you should go to hockey games and pick up chicks. That's a great great point. I know like some You know some tens that are like really into hockey. That's like their number one sports. Wow. Yeah, I know I know a lot of women who like hockey too Okay, make a trip to the farmers market a flea market. I like going to the farmers market boring Video game tournament invite your friends. Yeah, you love video games do Do you have video games? Are it openings or museums?

I'm telling you, these are people, like, when my guys was like, the guy that I'm dating, what else was like, what do you want to do, Sarah? No, I was like, I don't know. Like, nothing, but these are some ideas. Volunteer together. Volunteer together or start a project together. Dress up and go see an old movie or go to the drive-in.

That would be cool. Make a trip to an arcade or appear to play games. Those are just some ideas that you're just gonna be a be a summer time. If there's alcohol involved, then all those things are fun. True. Man, I think you have a problem. We should send you to like meetings or something. I haven't drank since last time we drank. Really? Not one sip? Not one. That's so weird. Why? No. Because I don't want- Because I think you binge drink. I don't binge drink. Maybe? Well if you only drink once

we drink a lot. If I have- if I have something- Do you want to talk about this? Yeah I'll tell you right now. If I have something- if I have a ride from one place to another- Right. And I don't have to work the next day, then I will. So what are you doing this weekend? Are you going out tonight? Not tonight. Tomorrow. I am going to. Oh, a bunch of my friends, old friends from my old town are going to come up and we're just going to drink around my neighborhood. Are you going to go fly, Cite? We're not going to fly. You know, you can do any of these things. Okay. So my go to Britney Spears after though. Britney Spears. I want to go to Britney Spears. Do you these things. Yeah. Okay, so. My good British spears after though.

British spears? I want to go to British spears. You tickets? Yeah. But somebody's asking me to go. Oh, check. Yeah, but it's like a work thing. It's a work thing.

They're all work things, whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Okay. Sex in the news. All right. Now that everyone knows what they're doing this weekend, UN Gay Rights Protection Resolution Pass, hailed as a historic moment.

So this is a huge deal that the United Nations issued its first condemnation of discrimination against gay, lesbians and transgender people, transgendered people hailed by supporters, including the United States as a historic movement. And so the quote from the US ambassador says, you just witnessed a historic moment at the Human Rights Council,

and within the UN system with a landmark resolution protecting human rights of Lesbian. It's the first time it's happened that UN is stepping in. So that's a big deal for gay and lesbian rights. And we didn't understand what this is going on. Yeah, it just means that the UN is now paying attention to it. All the different countries and different states, we've all done our own legislations, but now it's like the UN is like, we're there with you.

And we didn't understand, we were like the first city to have gay marriage and stuff. So we're kind of like, yeah, welcome to the club. Yeah, it's a big deal. Okay, man allegedly had drunk sex at 85 miles an hour and got busted. Okay, break this down for me. Okay, ready? Yeah. So okay, the latest allegation and the okay, at the time of collision, the defendant was going 85 miles an hour having sex with a female driving admittedly drunk and partially or totally in the backseat of the car. So he was driving, but he was partially, he now denies he was driving. He was coming from his 21st birthday party in Baltimore. What?

Oh my God, there was someone else in the car and he says there was, yeah, so it's a little of the 28, yeah, exactly. The plaintiff, a 28 year old cab driver seeking damages. There was like a plaintiff because they got in an accident and um So he was kind of having sex I guess I mean must have been having sex as they pulled him over It's kind of a sketchy story, but it says that that's what happened I could see how that could happen. How could you have sex at 85 miles an hour in the car driving But you're halfway in the back seat. I'm thinking of the logistics um

Okay, so if he was laying down all the way on his back and he was using his feet as the gas and brake and not watching the road. No, but then the girl sits on top of him on his on a greener and she's driving. Oh right. See, I figured it out right there. Yeah, right. That could work. That could work, but he wouldn't be really quick on the break. Yeah, why not wait to get home? It was his 21st birthday, my 21st birthday. Yeah, he was well. My 21st birthday, there's pictures of me being dragged into,

oh god, like 400 people at my college house that I was living in. Literally 400 people, like a million kegs. And it was, I was like, I want it. And I've never gotten sick drinking. And I was like, tonight I'm going to do it. And I still couldn't't but I did pass out and I there's pictures of my friends dragging me to my bedroom Like by my hair nice doing shots I'll show those photos there. I'm on sex family.com right now Should we if you want to post it? I don't mind their back in Michigan. They're funny pictures

I'm not that mess because I don't get that drunk I have issues with it. I Mean I want to but I can't sometimes I mean I have yeah, but I can't sometimes. I mean, I have. Yeah. But I don't get like sick. 21st birthday, though. It's sex to strenuous, first strenuous, for men's hearts. It's a typical movie scene. An older man has sexually beautiful woman when suddenly

way on me as a heart attack. That's me one day. So, should men be concerned? Yes and no finds a new study in the Harvard men's health watch. Fewer than one in a hundred heart attacks are linked to sexual activity. For healthy, 50-old man, the risk of having a heart attack at any given hour

is one in a million. Sex doubles the risk, but it's still just two in a million. In fact, the review highlights research that suggests sex is actually good for men's hearts. So it's actually good for you. One useful gauge of a man can't comfortably climb several flights of stairs he should probably avoid knocking boots. Well, I guess I should never have sex ever again.

Who do you mean a flight of stairs? Who doing the entire amount of flight of stairs? Yeah, but are you like, taking a break after like the fourth step? No, I'm not taking a break. Just maybe after the seventh step. Okay. Maybe you should be having sex. But you're still young.

Yeah, whatever. Sexually, okay, so it's ultimately though, experts seem to agree with just a few Maybe she's in the same way. But you're still young. Sexuality is the... Okay, so it's ultimately though, experts seem to agree with just a few caveats. Sexuality is a familiar partner safe, even good for the heart. So, you know, you always hear stories about like, that's how people die.

But I think that's quite a way to go. If you're going to go, like, if you're going to die, and you're like, go and die during sex. That would be the best way. People are... I'm looking over it because I like to respond to people that are watching. There's a bunch of people watching us online. Yeah, I know. Sex should get into some emails. Okay. And yeah, okay, no questions, you're Emily.

No questions this time. Just have to say I love the new format with video. Emily, you're a super cute and fun, and you guys both clearly have more energy just like you said you would. Proposal San Francisco for being the most promiscuous city, I think Nashville would probably be the most guilt-ridden about sex.

Ha ha, sign Marvin. He's a new friends with benefits member. And I'm currently masturbating to the video. Menace is on a big kick for every time I'm asking. Yeah, it's right. You didn't read it. There was no PS.

There was no PS. So yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, for the San Francisco is the most promiscuous city. And I feel like I had something to do with that, not personally, but the show. And we're all so sex focused in San Francisco. So anyway, it's awesome. Everybody's wing woman. You're getting everybody laid. I get everyone laid. I do. All my friends, like so many of my friends, I would get laid. All of them. And I get you laid. I get anyone laid seriously. I feel like everyone

in life, the biggest, one of the biggest challenges in life is trying to figure out what your skill set is. And once you have a skill set, you kind of move towards that. And then you hire people to do the other stuff that you're not good at. So I'm good at getting people laid. So I just just want to say that's that you put in your work for yeah I feel like my friends are yes okay hi I'm okay this is for you minus okay I hope you're okay with this okay with anything I don't care I figure you are I'm curious what happened to menaces engagement a couple years ago we talked about this a bunch of times. Yeah, but I know. I know it's been a while.

I don't know if it's like, rip in the wounds on, rip in the scam off the wound. I am totally, it is fine for me to talk about. Okay. What happened? Oh, that was it? That's only a question. What happened? I am constantly working and she didn't like that and caused issues.

And it's either I don't work as much. And in my thought process, because I've been through this before, where I started putting my relationship more over my work, I ended up getting let go for my job. So. That's why you're so obsessed because you got let go early on from a job. Job because I started focusing more on women.

On my relationship. Right. And then so once she started giving me crap all the time about being at work, I told her that it's not gonna change. And this is who I am. That's what I do. That's what I do. And then it is she just wouldn't agree with that.

So I said, all right. And then that was it. Right. And you jumped into it a little too quickly. You got engaged like on the second day. Yeah, but I think I would have been fine with it. It's just that it's... Do you ever talk to her anymore?

No, I don't talk to her anymore. But I think it's just like a... It's a hard thing to find to something that can deal with having your significant other not be there at all. It's hard, right? And it's like the people that I try to give with people that work in the same industry as me. So they at least understand right they get your obsession Yeah, and then but when I don't do that and I do people they always go When I take it with me to like a concert or something like that they go

Why don't you like hanging out and stuff like that? I go kids when I go to concerts like working right not having fun and drinking beer, right? I mean sometimes you do Then I go, kids, when I go to concerts, I'm working, not having fun and drinking beer. Right. I mean, sometimes you do. Right. Barely. Okay. But you haven't dated anyone seriously since then.

No. Right. Okay. Princess Emily, I'm an avid listener to your show and have a question for you. Princess Emily, I like it. I like it. Yeah, totally. Of course you like it.

It's attention. Dude, exactly. You did it up like crack, okay. I do. I do, I love it. Who doesn't love attention? Find me one woman on the planet and he's like, I don't like attention. I know how you would live without it.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't even choose a life like that. Yeah. I'm an avid listener to your show and have a question for you. I'm a single 48 year old male living in Kansas City. I'm currently seeing a beautiful 31 year old woman. I have a passion for the female foot. Buying shoes, pedicures, and food worship and it is cool with a foot, whichever is cool with that. But for some reason, within our relationship that has lasted so far three years,

I can't seem to have normal sex with her. I don't seem to hold a steady erection unless she is, has played with me with her feet. She loves being dominant in the bedroom and that is cool with me, but without her feet, I can't seem to perform in the proper manner, any ideas, Stephen. Real quick, before you go into something. Yes. God damn it.

I've been begging for a foot fetish guy forever to email the show, and please try to diagnose himself to think, what does he love about it so much that gets him off? Right. But he didn't do that. He didn't get into that, but there was a bit of just, just they have an association with the feet.

It's like anything like having a fetish, but you want to know specifically like what it is about the feet that you don't get it. Like if he should figure out like what. Right. I think it's just, a lot of times they tie fetishes into early childhood things. So if a man has a certain, like something good

to happen in his childhood with feet, like he could even have been abused by someone kicking him and he could have a foot fetish that translated into that. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what his feet are like so vainly and, woo, they're gross, man. Okay, so there's many men, right?

So Stephen, so there's many men who do find it arousing. Yeah. We haven't seen it arousing. Oh, really? And so there's so many women who would enjoy having their foot massaged or something. You could start with a foot massage. Women would be totally down with that.

I think I don't know. But I would kind of like the data foot So the real problem though is his erection. Yep. And I think if it's a revenge, well, if it's a revenge, I think it's a revenge. I think it's a revenge. I think it's a revenge. I think it's a revenge. I think it's a revenge. I think it's a revenge.

I think it's a revenge. I think it's a revenge. I think it's a revenge. I think it's a revenge. feel like you don't care about other part of their anatomy. Yeah. So you have to be kind of careful with that. So the real problem though is his erection. Yep. And it's a whole new fix as well. Well, if it, the fetish person, if it prevents him from having normal relationships with women, then he should see counseling. But if it's not a problem, and he can get off by just like massaging her feed

or like maybe she likes her feet like up over his head or something, like you know, those positions where you put her feet up, have you ever done that? Yeah, the pretzel. I don't know what it's called. Okay. feet like up over his head or something like you know those positions where you put her feet up have you ridden that. Yeah, the pretzel. I don't know what it's called. Okay. The feet, like maybe he's holding him is enough and he doesn't have to, but if it's like a problem and he's not getting enough and that's all it is and it's like an obsession

then he could seek help about if it's ruining his relationship. But there are ways like like a foot massage. Like I don't know how much the level of intensity that he needs. But again, like massaging it or just trying to like Not make it so obvious. I mean because a lot of women could freak out by that Of course, but if you like start again start with the massage or hope you need to hold her It just needs to be seen then the whole time, but it's not like totally apprusive, then that's fine But again, he can just get a blue he can get a blue diamond and it's all good. Oh, what a blue diamond

So I just know so many street terms that you don't even know. Yeah. Blue diamond, Viagra. It's a blue diamond. Oh, right. It's a blue diamond. Yeah. No, I wouldn't say Medicaid.

I wouldn't say that, Stephen. I would say, just, I would, I would talk to her about it eventually. Do they've been together for, what are you stretching? I thought you were like punching me or doing something. Or does it like look at a like, JC Penney's catalog before? But he's saying he's like feeling like he can't have normal sex with her at all like it's not normal so he could talk to someone about it because there might be some deep-seated issues but if it becomes a

problem so okay hi Emily I really enjoy listening to you what are like zappos is like porn for him like for me is that was a porn for me pornography just goes that's what he should do just like you know just like go through that. No, but he needs, but when you have a fetish, you need to like have the feet, like he needs to be engaged or maybe he needs her to play with his penis with her feet or something. Okay. You're like, okay.

But if a foot fetish is listening right now and you'd like to email us about your deal, that would be awesome. You can email me at feedbackatesectionthumbi.com. And it's also a lot easier right now. We've got a Q&A section on the site, and you can just click and there's a page where you can just, it's an Ask Emily tab actually, and you can just email me there.

It's really easy. Hey Emily, I really enjoy listening to your show in the variety of topics, keep it up. I know you've had a segment on good relationships, bad sex, but what about the opposite, good sex, bad relationship? I recently got of a two-year relationship that was very emotionally difficult and stressful most of the time, but our sex was really amazing.

How is it that two people can connect so well with physical and emotional intimacy between the sheets, but struggle so much with their regular communication interaction and relating outside the bedroom? Thanks, Octavia. Well, this is a very common issue. Like the people, they would say that the people you have the best sex with, you don't end up marrying. There's a lot, because the thing is common issue. The people, they would say the people you have the best sexuality you don't end up marrying.

There's a lot because the thing is, a lot of times what makes sex great is that tension that you keep with each other. Some kind of turmoil up and down emotions are fighting a lot and you have makeup sex and break up sex and get back together sex and I'm mad at you. It's because you're so emotionally up and down. Sounds like a nightmare. No, but that is, I mean, that's how it happens, but you're just not compatible.

And it's a bummer because that's what, like there's part of having really good sex, what's conducive to that is sort of keeping tension. So when you have that tension with someone, that is what keeps it exciting. And after you're with someone for a while, you no no longer Have that tension and then the sex becomes dull and boring Which is why I always tell you always to keep it interesting So it's very common that you could have the most explosive amazing sex with someone that is just and you're not compatible

It's just kind of a bummer because then you're always searching for that person and I still am that you can have amazing sex with and be with forever Yeah, yeah So that's I've maybe ever had to that? Have you ever had a good relationship? But great sex, bad girl that you didn't love. Not a good relationship with great sex. No. I don't believe so. No.

I'm trying to think if I had, oh, I for sure have. Because if you're just arguing problems are out the door. I've had guys that I just like to sleep with, but not. Like I knew that it wouldn't go anywhere. They were crazy, but the sex was amazing. Yeah. So, okay. Dear Emily, I love your show.

I've only recently started listening. I need some help. I'm 22 and I've been single my whole life. I've been on dates, but I've never met anyone. I felt interested enough to pursue a relationship with. The last year I actually met someone. The only problem is I'm not sure what we're doing. He's, he's not my family.

And say, over my parents, house with me, and I've hung out with his friends.. He's not my family and stayed over my parents house with me and I've hung out with his friends and he's introduced me to his family and we all went on a day trip together. He confides me, listens to me and treats me well. We're very compatible and there's a strong attraction. The only problem is, ready? I know where this is going. Is that I asked him to my boyfriend and he said no. I'm confused and when I bring it up he just skirts on the issue and says oh, it's a lot of Responsibility, but I don't get it being in a relationship is practically what we're doing especially now that I move back to San Francisco for school And he's been staying over all the time and even keeping things in my place. Please help Danielle San Francisco

Shout out to Daniel and San Francisco. I'm down. Okay, Danielle. Here's a deal. You're not getting what you want You're not getting what you want in this relationship. He sounds very non-committal. You're not getting the cow, dude. That's what's going on. Can I just... Yeah, go ahead. So, I just think that you're not getting what you want and a lot of guys are, you know, you're 22, it's young, you're non-committal. He says it's a lot of work.

It just sounds like he's not the kind of guy that you want to be in a relationship right now, even though you are acting in a relationship. This is a very common phenomenon that goes back and forth. It's like, we're everything but commit. And I think I've done this to guys. They're like, we're everything but together, but you don't want to be my girlfriend. I'm like, exactly. And so you should run from people like that. No, but it's like the commitment thing.

He sounds like, you know, he doesn't want to commit. He's got issues around relationships and he's still young. And Danielle, you have to pay attention to what you want. I think a lot of times in relationships, more often than not, women are trying to change men, a matter of trying to change women. But let's look at your situation since you're a woman. You're trying to change him. People do not change unless they want to change in a relationship.

That is like the most key fundamental thing that you can learn about relationships. You could want him to change and getting into a relationship with someone thinking they're going to change is wrong. It's never going to happen. People are the way they are. And maybe eventually he'll come around and I think that's what you're thinking. He's going to come around eventually and he's going to want, but it's not going to happen. Like he's telling you right now straight and forward that he's not, doesn't want to be

in a relationship. So I would say, if that's what you want, then you need to move on. Yeah, and I totally screwed up what I was trying to say. I said, you're giving the milk, you know, when they say, oh, the cow, milk for free. What is it? Given them, they won't buy the cow. They get the milk, you know when they say oh the cow yeah for free. What is it given them? They won't buy the cow if they get the milk for free. Yeah, but what are you saying? I mean that she needs to cut off the for the genus apply that's the only reason that the guys stay in around I don't know where you get your information from. What do you mean?

If she needs to stop having sex with him she needs to play mind games with him and stop playing mind games with them But that's I'm just saying that's why he is sticking around because he is getting laid that's what guys do but he probably really likes her and he probably just a fear of feeling like sir he would be with her yeah but he sounds like he's with her everything but the commitment that's great but he wants to see with other people no it doesn't sound like that's the deal what do you mean uh we've talked about this this is the same reason you won't put your status on Facebook because you want to leave your options open. That's the same reason.

No, it's the same thing he's doing right now. He does not want to put a label on things because he wants to leave his option to open. It's a pretty great thing. Okay, maybe he does. And she wants more so she should get out. Yeah. Just get out.

Done. But by, if you're not getting what you want in a relationship and you're expecting them that you're going to talk them into something, it's not going to happen. And maybe leaving him, maybe he'll come back and realize, you know, whatever, but you can you're not getting what you want in a relationship and you're expecting them that you're gonna Talk them into something it's not gonna happen. No, and maybe leaving him Maybe he'll come back and realize you know whatever, but you can't bank on that I'm sure if you do leave them then he might attempt to come back sometimes they do people like rejection But don't bank on that like we don't want to tell you that like I want you to go on and find a guy who wants exactly what you want

And if you do that and he tries to come back after two weeks, like, it don't fall for that crap. Like, cut him off for a long time. Go, you're in San Francisco. You play games, man. There's just a lot of words on here. How am I, how am I in mine, F.R.? I'm a realist. No, I'm like, oh, oh. I'm like, oh, oh, oh. I'm like, oh, earlier like so are women and guys. I know but I just don't mind

saying this guy is using you to get laid. I'm saying cut off your vagina and move on. That's all I'm saying. And I said that too in a different way. How's that playing game? Because you're like then, she'll come back and don't go don't go back too quickly and yeah, I guarantee you you probably hit you up because he's not getting laid after a couple of weeks, and then you're gonna be in the same position that you're already in. We do that in relationships.

We say in the same positions, and that's how I was gonna start. I was gonna say, say, said a deadline and be clearing your intentions. I always have done this with friends, and if they're complaining to me about a relationship, this happens a lot more with women, I think, than men, because you guys don't sit around

and talk about your relationships. I don't know what you talk about, but you don't sit and you're not like, a women, we process our relationships. That's what we talk a lot more with women, I think, than men, because you guys don't sit around talking about your relationships. I don't know what you talk about, but you don't sit and you're not like, women, we process our relationships. That's what we talk a lot about. And it feels like I have a lot of good friends that we talk about our relationships. And if the same issues come up over and over again, then eventually my, one of my friends and I started this years ago, because I was dating this guy for like two and a half years,

and I was not in and she'd like, okay, Emily, we need to set a deadline. She's like, if by just three months from now, if by December, seven, I remember writing this down, she's like, if by December 17th, you do still feel the same way. Three months, we're gonna check in, you gotta get out of it. Cause I was not changing, I was saying, cause you don't realize that you get in the months,

go buy and you're still living these issues. So I committed to those three months to really working on my issues that I have with this guy and like figuring out, and at three months, she called me, like it was in the calendar. She was like, what have you decided? And I really made progress. We went to therapy together and decided that we didn't want to be together.

So anyway, it was good. It was like a good, it was good having a deadline. So even it's a month or two months, I do this with my friends all the time. I'm like, okay, we need a deadline for you. We write it down. I think it's a good system because your life goes by and you're with people that you shouldn't be with. That happens.

Hey Emily, I absolutely adore your show. I thought I'd let you know that you've got listeners over New Zealand. You are stunning and you have a gorgeous voice to boot and now I finally see Mense's photo and I know he's as cute as he sounds. How single is he? Even if it's just for my little daydreams over here. He's single. He's single.

She wants to know if you're single because she wants to fantasize about you. She has a double checking. She's a she. Okay. She's from Brazil. Brazilian will. No, she's from New Zealand. New Zealand. I don't know anything about New Zealand, but I'm sure you're beautiful women also. So she wants to fantasize about you and he's single. Yes, you can fantasize about them. All you want. Cool. Thank you. And oh, do you know why I got mixed up with Brazil because I wanted to mention a story right author's email is I there's a Brazilian listener. They're saying how they're a huge fan and they really want me to follow them on Twitter. But they don't like have any like I don't follow random people on Twitter that don't have a photograph or any like bio. Oh, okay. So I have no idea who you are. Right, you know, so that's why I'm not following you But I see your messages and thank you. Thank you very much for Just follow him give me a bone

He's a listener follow him. What's your problem? He's about follow him then he might be sitting then you do follow and follow him and you can find me a Section of Emily on Twitter by the way P.S. Okay and Facebook section then we in where do you wait menace calm? I'm just white menace calm you find everything But the the other thing is I just use Twitter for like news feeds and stuff like that. I get a lot of news off it That's all I'm really big into Instagram. So if you have Twitter You might have Instagram get Instagram hit me up on Instagram and I'll follow you on Instagram. It's only for your iPhone That's only for iPhone right now. Yeah

My iPhone drama carries on I I got to get my phone. Okay. We haven't even gotten to her question yet because we got off on how if you're single and she can fantasize about you. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. So you can. I think you're doing something amazing. Letting women know it's okay to have a passionate sexuality and to embrace it.

I feel like the more I talk to different women, the more I find out that they are scared of different parts of their sexual selves. Whether it's physical or emotional, I'm gingerly putting my big tone to the SNM lifestyle, which I think was inspired a lot by your show. I just thought, why not try it out, see if that's my thing, and if it's not, if it's not, no harm, no foul. Listening to all those people who push the boundaries of what is considered normal, and hearing you learning about so much new stuff really gave me the conference, try it out. Tessa the Kiwi She's Kiwi I got to look up New Zealand the only thing I know about New Zealand is

What what is that that TV show all you don't even know I do know it's a flight of the Concord's fly the Concord Yes, see you would know because it's all like hipster and My hipster now I thought it was, so it'd be cool to like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like Laughing so hard making like this should be illegal. This is the funniest friggin thing I've ever seen in my life. You don't think it's funny? No, I think it's cool for people to think it's funny. No, I laughed my at like it hurt. I was laughing so I watched It's not your humor. I watched it entire first season and I probably laughed one time. Okay. It was not funny. I don't know funny. Watch Dave Chappelle. That's funny. Well I don't know funny watch Dave Chappelle. That's funny. I know I could yeah yeah he's funny too. You're right you're right I think that fight the conference funny. Let's move into some anal sex tips. Yes do that. anal sex. anal sex Friday. I walked in the office and I was like it's anal sex

Friday. Okay so we get a lot of em oh I haven't emailed the read about anal sex before we do that because we're gonna lead into it. Well that's what you really have to do're going to lead into it. I can't believe it. Well, that's what you really have to do. You got to lead into it. Exactly. You have to be careful. Anal sex tips. OK.

You can't just dive right into it, you know? Exactly. OK. My wife and dear Emily, my wife and I seem to be in an impasse when it comes to a particular topic in our sex life's anal play. In the past, we both used things like a butt plug, but then we stopped for a while.

But now I find myself more and more turned on by anal eroticism. Are you laughing about that? No, after you read the email, I'll want you to explain what a butt plug is. Okay. Anal eroticism, whether it's touching, licking, using toys, et cetera, and for both giving and receiving. I've been trying to persuade or explore this a little bit more with me. I've been reading a lot on this, and I try to be gentle, use lots of lube, and I make sure to warm her up first. Yes, yet this is to no avail. We've talked several times about it, but we always end up at the same roadblock. She said she hasn't, she said she had it in the past and it always hurt a lot. She says the only

way it's going to happen, if she's can, oh god, I don't even want to read this. The only way it's going to happen is if she's completely, completely loaded on alcohol and I'll just be able to have my way. But I actually wanted to enjoy it as I enjoyed that way. So I'm just because you date rape, just kidding. Okay, I shouldn't even make jokes about that. And not interested in it for the conquest. Can you help us with this impasse? Should I just say forget it to cheek-score on our own? Thanks, John. Okay. So it's great that he's reading up on it and it's great that he should read up on as much as he can. There's a lot to

learn about it. And if she's had painful before, painful anal sex before, it might be hard to try to persuade her again, but we're going to give you some tips here. We're talking about it and here's some things I think that might resonate with him, but he could work on. Okay. So first, how to introduce it. Because we get a lot of emails about anal sex. I cannot answer them all, but this is gonna be a blanket answer for everyone. Ready? How to introduce it. Bring it up in a conversation or during sex,

see if she's open to the idea. So just like bring it up, be like, hey, or you can also get closer to that area. This is what happens a lot, I think, rather than talking about it. They try to, yeah, don't move in, don't just move in, but like play with that area. Like use your fingers, use your mouth, see how she responds.

You're really into the, the, ask the mouth. I don't know. I've got a whole section on eight, Aino Lingas. Yeah, Aino Lingas. Can we, can we, why? Because you never explain what a butt plug was. A butt plug is a sex toy that you can get it Adam and Eve Dot com, okay, and it's it's a toy that goes in your

But and it can feel good The people and there's different kinds there's like a core it's like a cork And there's like ridges there's ones that are like ridges There's ones that are big and small and they've like little balls on the end like little ridges that go in and you can pull it out Yeah, but there's also but but a butt, like little ridges that go in and you can pull it out. Yeah. It's a trail beads. But there's also, but a butt plug is just a plug that goes in your butt and it just stays there. Yeah.

Cool. Cool. I should give a shout out to Adam and Eve. It sounds amazing. But there are a lot. I actually wish that I brought in because they Adam and Eve.com is our sponsor. We love them. If you want to get anal sex toys, they've got a ton.

You can get anything else that Adam and Eve. They're often 50% of most items to sex, that many listeners, they throw in three adult DVDs and a free gift and free shipping. Everything you want, Adam and Eve.com. Use coupon code Emily at checkout. Do they have a bug plug for menace? Do they have a thing called the anal ripper because I went into a sex store and then they had the anal ripper there? They probably do. Maybe you should guys search that. Google it. I don't know. Go to Adam and Eve. It can sort by anal toys. So does she so when you're getting closer to that area during sex, so men like explore with their finger, do whatever. Does she tense up? Does she moan? Is she into it? Does she like jump? I mean start to just, you know, gradually get into it. Exactly. It's not something that you only do. It could also, you know, men could also a lot of men like anal play themselves.

It's not something that you only do it could also, you know, men could also a lot of men like anal play themselves Yeah, and they might not even know it So it's the same thing women can play around with a man's ainess The first time that I I don't like the word ainess that much either just like I didn't like the word vagina the other day I don't know ainess. I was reading them. I had times to say a nice, but the more you say that's fine So I'm gonna say but I could say but but I this is like technical. We're like getting into it So I'm using a nice so I don't know why I've issues with words my friend texted me this morning because she listened to yesterday's show And she was like I hate the word crotch too because I didn't like the word crotch. Yeah, I don't use crotch And I can't believe that you said snatch too

Like I wouldn't even bring up snatch. I didn't did I yeah, he did I'm damn you guys call it snatch out on the street. What do you call it? I don't know you street Yeah, I remember I remember I remember but Going back to ainolingus and no not in the lane. Oh, that's not with you and asked them out of hold on Astamount is awesome. It's a way to start. It's a way to start. You don't go right with your penis into her Inus. I know the first You don't do not penis to anus right away. Yeah start with your mouth or your fingers

Okay, or a butt plumb. Yeah, it was the it was the movie road trip Mm-hmm, and that was the first time I even heard or even saw about the The milking the prostate procedure, right, you know, and then that that Told me that guys were into that kind of stuff, you know, and then that that told me that guys were into that kind of stuff. There's so many men who are into anal play. They might not even know it. Like my friend, I was talking about last week who bought the strap on with a dildo. She's going to. Yeah, we'll talk about that. Why is it? Why is it? Oh my god, one of the most successful, like two guys out there. It's called it's called bend over boyfriend. This,

the Carol Queen, who's a local sexologist, made this film like years ago, bendendova Boyfriend, and it's so popular, and it teaches women how to penetrate their boyfriends. Yeah. A lot of men are into it. Because it feels good, like they're prostate, like for men, it's very sensitive in there, and a lot of guys are like, the things that this is going to think I'm gay and da-da-da-da, but if they just let go and they might really like it, a lot of more men than you can realize are into it.

And you might be too and you just don't know it. Or maybe you are, I don't know. I am totally, I am. You're not. Use your lips, kiss your lover's anus and then lie around it. Why don't you drop on it's like the size of a you go? You're a strap on, you don't need to strap on.

You don't have to say in the one that's used on me. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay, use the flat of your tongue, press it against your partner's anus. Use the tip of your tongue, wiggle it around, slip it inside, moving it in and out, or wiggle it around in circles. That's what you can do, analing us and try it out at the beginning.

Oh yeah, just dive right in. Okay, preparing for anal sex. Read about it. Don't try to learn about it from porn. So don't ever try to learn anything about sex from porn, everyone. That is my, if that, you take one thing away from the show today, that's what it is. Porn is a visual median that they're making that men fire women, or visually something looks good,

but it doesn't mean that's the right way to do it. So, do you like some kind of dressing they put on it before? You know? What do you mean? I don't know, some kind of sauce or something, are you just... Dressing on the what? On the anus. Lube. Is it edible, lube?

Lube's are edible. There are lubes that are edible. I'm talking about Ask the Mouth right now. Okay, are you just going out without... You can use a Dental Dam. Without any dressing on it. It's just... Well, you could shower together.

I think that if you're gonna experience anal sex, that you should start by showing together. I don't think you've ever done it. It's just, well, you could shower together. I think that if you're going to experience anal sex, you should start by showing together. I don't think you've never done it. So, so, uh, let's consider just like anal sex too. What is this? Asked the mouth. No, that's not like, I mean, it's anal play. Okay. Yeah. All right. But it's okay. I'm just trying to explore let's stick to you ask them out real quick. Okay So no dressing no no dressing I'm not joking. I'm okay. I'm asking seriously. I don't get the question. What do you mean? I'm saying do you flavor it up first? Do you put like chocolate syrup on the Apple? You could be careful. No, no, you shouldn't It's not gonna be spring. I get it. I get it. I get it. No, no, you

should not put chocolate sauce or whipped cream and all that stuff is not good because you can get in the woman's vagina and it can understand what I'm talking about. Is there stuff out there? There is leave out there that's flavor. Yeah, Adam and Eve.com. You can find flavored Loub and you should use lots. Loub is very, very important. It's essential because the a is it's okay. Theus, I just was like, what? The anus men is talk to me. What are you saying?

The anus does not have any natural lubricants. So you have to use lubricants. Yeah, well, they have to use lubricants. So you have to make sure you use lubricants. Like Loub is your best friend if you're trying anal sex. You've got to use a lot of Loub. And you have to use a condom.

That's understandable. Highly recommended with a water-based lubricant. So the latex condom does notube and you have to use a condom. That's a nice little. Highly recommended with a water-based lubricant so the latex condom does not rip or break. Always use a condom. Always, always, always. Because you can just get diseases, there's problems you could get that digestive tract. It might also contain harmful microorganisms

that can be spread during anal contact. So you just should use a condom. Don't use sticky petroleum-based products like Vaseline. People always think you can use Vaseline or cooking where I like, don't do any of that. That stuff is bad for you. Try taking a shower together before, like I said, and make sure your bottle's emptied before.

If you're nervous about it, and you're first time, yeah, you gotta do that, because you still know what's gonna happen. So if you don't warm or up properly, if you don't do the warm up, wait, what, what, what, no, no, I just had a flashback about something I'll mention after this. What was it? The TV show entourage that girl Michelle Gray, not Michelle Gray, something great, the porn star turned actress. It doesn't matter. Something great. You can look her up on YouTube, but she actually did a whole video on getting prepared to have anal sex.

Great. I'll send it to you so you can put it on the website. That sounds great. Please do that. So if you don't warm up properly, if you go silly enough, you'll probably hurt her. So you have to be so much warm up, so much for play, so much gentle, like get her into it, get her turned on, like do other things, and then you can move into it. Now, there's a lot of...

So if you, again, start to touch her closely and see if she's moaning or tensing up. Okay what you shouldn't do don't never never ever enter without permission. Don't ejaculate inside her if it's requested not to and don't slam or jackhammer before slow. It has to be a really slow ease into it process like it's slow slow slow slow. Okay like I had a friend so she was dating the sky recently and when they were having sex he had to in order for him to orgasm like orgasm he'd stick his finger in her butt and that would make him orgasm every time and he would just like jam it in and it really bugged her

and it's not that she's not into anal play but don't just jam it without any like that wasn't good. They're not dating anymore. That's what he had to do. Yeah. That is so weird. It's not anything. It's not it's not that weird. I mean, I think there's guys who are well, everyone's got their thing.

But I'm just saying he was like jam and she'd be like not prepared because he wasn't doing any in a play. So just be careful. Yeah. Yeah. How about that? Okay. These are some positions that are good for anal sex. Okay. Doggy style. Obviously. Missionary position though is actually the best beginner position for anal sex. It allows the receiver to fully relax the anus making penetration easier. So with the man on top, missionary.

People think doggy style only because like anal, but yeah. Missionary is actually an awesome way. Side anal. This is another really popular position when you're laying on another, you know, laying on their side and they receive it that way in the rear. Yeah. And yeah, that's why I got an anal sex. All right. I'm sure that's going to cause a lot of debate. What do you think? I don't think so. I think it's like you've got to warm up, you've got to go slow. Yeah. You have to remember just like, I think that a lot of people want to get their partner into it and I think a lot of women and men are like terrified by it. So it's just like have lots of lube on hand, start something small like a finger or you know a butt plug from Adam and Eve and then move on to the penis or penetration.

Okay. I've got to talk about something in new segment that we're having next week that people have to start emailing us right now. Okay. It is a 20 questions game. So people are able to ask us 20 questions about our personal lives, the UNI,

and we have to answer them. But they have to go on and click, go to sexlamy.com and scroll down to where it just asks the question. So for example if you want to know if I've ever played a part in role playing or if menace has ever, what's the best sex menace has ever had, we have to answer. So make questions and I'll mention that you have a question for my 20 questions game and we'll answer them next week. Ask me anything, don't be shy. All right. Will you answer anything? Yeah, I don't. I didn't ask you about this first, but it was okay. You know me, I don't care. And't ask you about this first, but it was okay.

You know me, I don't care. And then we're going to do a giveaway to the best question. We have a sex toy that we're going to give away for the very best question. So please email me and find me at sexfamily.com. It's really easy. Now, you can still do feedback at sexfamily, but again, it's really easy to go through the website. Is there anything that you've been dying to know about men, men's life, my life, or anything

about anything? You can do emails, 20 questions. It's life, my life, or anything about anything. You could email us 20 questions. It's going to be super, super fun. And then thanks everyone again for becoming a friend of the benefits member. There's so much stuff happening on the website and we just want to thank everyone for their support. It means a lot to us. Truly, truly, truly.

Okay. Anything else, Menace? You got to say, this Friday? Happy Friday everyone. See you on Monday. See you Monday. And yo, and I'm sorry, but IU was so geeked out of listening to the show and stitch her the yesterday through my car.

I know. It was amazing. It's the show, the show's on the go. Show on the go, sitcher.com. You got to go there and download the app right now. The app is free and then just become a friend's advantage and it's a member type in your code and you're good to go. You're good to go.

It's the best way to listen. That's how I've listened in the past. So thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemlead.com. Sex toys aren't just for women. Go to sexwithemlead.com slash flesh light to discover the best sex toys for men.

The flesh light. A lot of guys say it feels even better than sex and it helps build stamina, meaning you'll last longer in bed. Go to sexwithemleadly.com slash flashlight to see my Flushite recommendations and get one tonight.