Sex With Emily - SWE: Backyard Sex

Episode Date: June 16, 2013

The sun is shining, the flowers are blooming, and you’re getting it on in the backyard. Emily talks about having sex outside, whether you want to get down in the public bathroom or at the beach. Good luck not getting sand or dirt in your junk once you get off the beaten path! Emily talks about women who want sex more than men, because that actually happens all the time! Forget all the stereotypes about women not wanting sex. Also, how to keep an erection and how to get rid of your crazy ex. If you want to change your love life and are interested in backyard sex, check out my sponsors: Crazy Girl, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Crazy Girl. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys, can I see a question? How are your balls feeling right now? Are they super clean and dry? Does your partner complain or is not always willing to go downtown? If so, I've got something for you. I've just launched a new product called Down Under Comfort for my brand Emeline Tony. It's really unique. It's a cream to tap yoga powder formula that is designed to keep men fresh and clean down

under or wherever they need. And girls can use it too, under their brass, the lower back, anywhere they want to stay fresh. powder formula that is designed to keep men fresh and clean down under or wherever they need. And girls can use it too, under their brass, the lower back, anywhere they want to stay fresh. So how keep this podcast free and your balls dry? Use code Emily to get 20% off your first purchase. Check them out today at Emily and Tony.com. Trust me and you're welcome. I Look into his eyes

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a bygone way. Hey, I'm a link you got a boyfriend because my man E here you just got his heart broken he thinks you're kind of cute the girls got every standard Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but only? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com.

Go there right now. You can listen to all of our podcasts, but most importantly, I've got a brand new report out called The Five Biggest Mistakes Men Are Making In Bed and The Five Biggest Mistakes Women Are Making In Bed. And I've been doing this show for 10 years. I figured, you know what? I can help a lot of people with this free report. So just go to my website, put in your email address, we will not share it, and you'll instantly

get this free report, which is changing people's sex lives as we speak. Also check out the podcast, check out my Twitter at Sex with Emily and might like me on Facebook which is facebook.com slash sex with Emily. We've got tons of new podcasts coming out every week. We've got stuff going on on our website videos. I've got a book, iPhone apps, check it all out. I'm here with my favorite co-host on the planet, Menace. Hi, Menace. Hello, Emily. How have you been doing? I've been doing very well.

How have you been doing? I'm doing good. I'm here in San Francisco. The weather is beautiful. Where did I go recently? I was somewhere, I forget. I don't know. I've been hanging out here. I'm going to Vegas soon and Disneyland soon, you know me.

And oh, I got it, I know real quick though. I got a, before I forget, I got a shout out all our listeners that are on Snapchat. It's just a Snapchat is this app. It's like this new like social networking app. Okay, that I've been using and I've been Bombarded by sex with Emily listeners. What is it snap? It's crazy. Is it should we talk offline about what it is, but okay, that's cool. Yeah, yeah Just real quick if you don't know what it is. It was kind of pop it got kind of popular because

People would send naked photos of each other on it. Oh, Jesus. Okay. I mean, that wasn't its intended use, but what happens is it's, you know, you can send a photo or a video to somebody and it's only 10 seconds long. So once you watch it, it disappears. Oh, we've heard about that. Okay.

Yeah. So wait a minute. Oh, anyways. Okay, go ahead. So anyways, I was like, okay, well, you know, I'm just going So that's it. Yeah. So wait a minute. Are there any ways? Okay, go ahead. So anyways, I was like, okay, well, you know, I'm just gonna start using it. And Emily, I talk about it on the radio. For every time I talk about Instagram or Facebook,

I'll get like a couple followers. Every time I mention Snapchat, I'll get like 100 times more followers. Oh, no, Lee. What's yours? So how do we find you? Okay. So how do you just menace me? N-A-S-D? No, I wish I was, but I'm just menace FM. Menace FM. Because people sometimes can't spy your name. He's like menace like menace to society, which he actually is. Yeah. So menace FM is Snapchat and then you at-menace on Twitter and at-menace

on Instagram. Yeah, correct. And your sex with Emily all across the world. Oh yeah, and I'm sexually on Instagram too, which I'm going to do more of, of course. Snapchat, if you've been telling me more. Yeah, for a year. Tell me about. But yeah. Okay, so what are they hitting you up? What was the number one most memorable thing that someone hit you up about? One of our listeners. What did they say? Well, a lot of listeners, they'll send me little clips of them listening to the show and they'll, because you can write text on the video or the photo and it says, oh, listen in sex to Emily. It's pretty cool.

They just let me know that they're listening to the show. I love it. That's so cool. We have so many more listeners. We've been doing this for almost 10 years, menace, sex with Emily, and it's just crazy how many more listeners we have every day. We've got hundreds of podcasts. And the thing is, I would tell you, is that we are always really seeing more.

Some of them are our best of, and they're evergreen though. So if you see a podcast, it says best of, and you're like, whatever, like a blowjob, giving you advice about oral sex Six months ago and if you hear it again now It's the same thing and you're gonna learn because our show is very very smart and funny and educational for example today show We are going to be reading the emails that you sent to feedback at sex with Emily calm. We love hearing about you We're gonna read an email some of the topics are about getting and keeping an erection.

Some people said they want to know the next email is about how to deal with your partner's ex. And then also how to do with your partner has another. If your partner is still, what is this? Not divorced yet and there's already a new relationship. The topic of the show today is outdoor sex because it is summer and I've got a great road head story. I thought we should give you creative ways to have sex outdoors, but not just like randomly

like go do in your park. I'm giving you specific positions that work for each location. So it's a chock full show today. Yeah, but you've been so anti road head for years. Have you changed your mind? I'm bringing it back. I'm not anti road head. I just know what people to get into accidents. Can't you pull aside? You know what I mean? All right, because I used to be a strong supporter of it on the show when we would bring it up and then you were so anti. No, no, no, I will get we'll get into that. we'll get to that in a minute.

And then I also want to say that, yeah, we've got lots of topics and lots of things that we're doing so you can check it out. We, I was gone. OK, so I haven't talked to you. So I had a birthday. I think we talked a little bit. I had my birthday, but I went away

to Palm Springs for the weekend. Did we talk about this? No. I stayed at the voice, at the state of the voice right hotel, which is one of my favorite hotels in Palm Springs, California. It was really beautiful. And the thing that was so remarkable was that there were so many couples there that you could tell were like married or been together, you know, they'd wedding rings on.

And you know, they were there getting away from their kids or their family and it was that big weekend getaway that we always talk about like, you know, vacation sex. But it seemed like a lot of couples just don't connect. Like, it's like those couples you see in the restaurant who are like staring around the room and not looking each other's eyes. There's all these couples who are like not touching, they were like reading, and they didn't seem that connected, and I was just wondering, like, I don't know, like I just hope if you go away with your partner on vacation,

that you like, here is my biggest issue, men's. I was at this beautiful pool, and everyone was sitting around on their cell phones. There were four couples and eight phones out, and it made me, I left my phone in the room, believe it or not, because I am actually on this antiphone kick, like when I walk my dog at night, like I'm living by the beach right now,

like I'm at the freaking beach, I don't need my goddamn cell phone. So I just think it's good to have times with your partner if you want quality time to say, you know what, honey, let's leave our phones in the room, we're gonna go sit by the pool. So that was just something interesting, that I just see it more and more, we're so addicted. I mean, men, as you are addicted, even more than I

am to your cell phone, right? Oh my God. It's crazy. And you know what? You just gave me an idea. Tell me. Because I got to go on, I got to go on a lot of vacations. You do. I have 13, I have 13 trips planned. And shout out to you. If you fly a lot or go go on trips a lot Download this app. It's free. It's called trip it and it'll keep you completely organized I love it, but so that's why I know how many trips I have coming up and I just got a brilliant idea See the reason that I'm obsessed with my phone. I take it with me everywhere is I love I love taking photos of things You know I'm a on Instagram, right? So why don't I, I can buy this little no, uh, uh, uh, icon camera that I can put in my pocket.

This is like size of a credit card. I should just get that. So then I can just, when I am on vacation, I can just leave my, my phone in my hotel room and then I'll, I'll, I'll post the photos later. Exactly, man. That's exactly what the photos later. Exactly, Menace. That's exactly what you should do. I can't tell you I've been doing that a lot lately. I've been just trying to have,

even if it's like, oh, I'm walking my dog for 20 minutes or I'm running to the store, I don't need my phone all the time. Like, we don't have to be connected 24-7 and I think it just, it clears our head. You can think about other things, connect with yourself, read a book. I just think we're getting too, you know too crazy, but so yeah, that's good

You should do that menace and then don't they have don't they have phones and we don't they have Cameras now that you can directly upload like you can directly upload to Instagram anyway From the phone Well and you're up. They do not here. Okay, so you have to be you have to be in like a Wi-Fi area. Okay, so here's another thing I want to say is that I was in my bathing suit for three days. It was a hundred degrees at the beach. And I like freaked out. So you know how we have all these sponsors that we love. And I only promote products or tell you about products that I actually believe in. Like I'm not just like, oh, this is good. You should try it. I never have.

So I'm at the beach for the first time. I lived in San Francisco for a long time. I don't have a tan. I don't even own bathing suits. Like, and we don't go outside. We don't sit by the pool. So I use this crazy girl wanna be naked intimate shave cream. It's like this infamous, they used to call it the kuchi cream,

or they still do in some of their lines. It's the most amazing thing in the whole world this infamous, they used to call it the kuchi cream or they still do in some of their lines. It's the most amazing thing in the whole world because it prevents ingrown hairs, shave bumps and it's good for all those tender places. So I was able to shave and for the first time I had no weird bumps and it's just the coolest product but they've got tons of products on their website. Go to crazygirlproducts.com, use coupon code Emily25 for 25% off anything at Crazy Girl Products. They've got like, it is like 13 bucks and they've got this orgasm gel.

They've got diva dust. They've got max for men, which is their men's line. So just check them out. I just love when a product like works and I'm excited and I just wanted everyone to know. So that's my bikini. I looked not only good in my bikini, but I was all, I was unbumpy. Because don't you ever look down there and girls are bumpy and you're like, ew, do you think that? Yeah.

You thought that. Oh yeah, of course. Anyone thought that, I know you thought that. So I've also been, as you know, doing Love Line radio show on Thursday nights with Dr. Dupinski, it's every Thursday you can watch it, listen live, or wherever you are at LoveLineShow.com. And it's amazing, menace. You know how you and I both love Live Radio because that's how we started and you still

do Live Radio. But like, oh, the colors we get, like, oh my god, the F the f1 after the next and it's so interesting and like like so many like young guys Calling in about like you know, it's just a lot of younger kid. You know younger ish like 18 to 28 People who are problem with orgasms and people who got married too young and how do they bring night their sex drive? And just you know, I just love hearing from the people but interesting topic we did the other night And I thought we should talk about for a second is we do this thing called open form at 11 o'clock and it was what do you do if your partner has a higher sex drive than you specifically women. So I feel like it's always been a stereotype in our

culture that men have higher sex drives like men always want it and women are like not tonight. How do you have got a headache? But it was interesting like all these women called in that they have higher sex drive than their partners. And I'm wondering, like, if you've heard that lately, because I feel like, I feel like I've heard that for years, from women, more from women than men, that they want more sex than their partner. Like, do you hear that from like guys that you think, or their guy friends of yours are like, dude, she wants to have sex every night, and I'm exhausted. Yeah, I, uh uh... that guy from scrubs the main guy from scrubs uh... forget his name jesus he

he had a movie that he put out got all that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's uh... was just on how her stern and he was talking about how his girlfriend has a bigger sex drive than he does. Oh, that's interesting. See, it's everywhere. And so I think for these couples, I think that that is really common.

And what you have to do is talk to your partner about it because what happens is people want to look elsewhere. And it's like, you know, a lot of times men don't, the reason why men don't want to have sex is because even then, my women don't want to oftentimes men. You know, they're feeling like, like, maybe they're stressed at work, they're stressed about money, they're stressed about kids, whatever it is, men who experience stress or anxiety in their life, which is a lot of people these days, it can have a direct impact on their sex life.

So it's something you can talk to your doctor about, also medications. But that's interesting, Zach Braff. Yeah, I love him. Yeah. He's got his new movie coming out, huh? some medications, but that's interesting, Zach Braff. Yeah, I love him. He's got his new movie coming out, huh? Yeah, he raised about $2 million on Kickstarter for a movie that he wrote and wants to direct this called Wish I Was Here. So it's supposed to be out by next year.

Oh, that's amazing. I've heard about it. And then people were like, pass that he raised money through Kickstarter, but whatever. I think that's great. So what? Didn it and then people were like pass that he raised money through Kickstarter But whatever I think that's great So what? Didn't you hear that? I read some article that people can't do it because they can't do it But you know what Kickstarter has raised more money. I heard for a creative products than anything else So another thing menace before we get into everything else and is So I'm answering some questions for a very popular women's

magazine. Asked me to answer a bunch of questions for their, I'll let you know what's on New stands, but I'm not going to say who it is for yet. But first of all, I'm going to say, I totally appreciate that. It's called, it's a women's magazine, but they did sex confessions from men. And I wanted to get your advice on how you would answer this. If a guy says, these are confessions from men. I want to threesome with her friend.

In your expert opinion, they ask, I just want to know what you think men is. Forget the part that it's with her friend. Just think the guy that wants to threesome. I know my answer but why do you believe a threesome is such a reoccurring male fantasy it always is the number one fantasy for men and I just want to know being a man and I don't even think it's your number one fantasy I don't think you even want one or you've had him but you didn't like it I can't remember but but why do you think that is. I can't remember, but but why do you think that is? I mean, if the if it's possible and the option is there, I mean, who wouldn't want to do that? Why? How does it find that extremely hot?

I know, but why? Why? Why? I mean, this is what I said. I think that. Yeah. I think it's okay. Well, yeah. I mean, I certain point in males lives, let's say early 20s when their sex drive is huge, I mean, I think that would be an ultimate goal. There's a like, oh, I can't, I don't have to just have one. I could have two at the same time, you know?

Right, right. I think that for men, like their fantasy, is to watch two women together, they love watching one woman, so watching two women making love to each other can be a massive sensory over the top turn on for men. And then I think it's like three. Oh my God.

Oh my God, three, yeah, it's amazing. And then the other question I have for you, what did you say? Imagine three women. Oh my God,. Yeah, it's amazing and then the other question I have for you what you say Imagine three women. Oh my god three men crazy I'd rather do three women at the same time because then I want to have to like Pay you know, I wouldn't be afraid of having to pay attention to one more than the other because at least two of them can take care of each other Exactly while I'm working on one. I mean, you know, you got to have you got to have higher goals people I know I have to bring it exactly just a fun orgy No, but I have a lot of guys who were like yeah, I had a three-stom and was overrated because all I found myself was really busy

Trying to please two women and I can barely please one woman. So that's something else I've heard Okay, the other question I have for you men is because you're helping me as I already wrote these answers But I'm like this is so for menis. It's about recording. This is a confession from a man. He says, I want to record us doing it and then watch it later on. And the question from the journalist to me was, why do men have an interest in it? What is it about watching themselves that is so hot? So menis, you as a proliferate as a prolific,

sec hoe DIY sex tape maker at your house, I don't know if you do it anymore. But menace has done a lot of sex tapes with women. He doesn't, he doesn't, he has not posted them on TMZ yet. But why menace? Like seriously deep, this is a real question. Don't make a joke. But like in your heart, like why is it, because you like watching it, you like making it's like what do you watch them again like it's explained to me what goes on like what why you desire this so um well I think I think it's a lot of it is like guys love having memories of having sex with women because they feel like it's such an accomplishment. So, also, they want to have the videos because then they think,

okay, well, I may never have sex with this person ever again. I love to have a memory of it, and then also I can, you know, use it for masturbation later. Right. And do you use it for masturbation later? Yeah, I never watch, I never? Yeah, I never watch I never watch any I never watch any porn. I watch if I want to watch a video I just watch ones that I made myself. Right. And you do that often you bring the ones for rotation into rotation. I mean when you're girlfriend's on. I mean when you're girlfriend I mean when I No, but I'm saying when I wasn't having a partner regularly then yes I would bust out the archives

Okay, the archives, you know, but I would never I would never watch I would never watch any other Like website or anything like that. Okay I would never watch any other website or anything like that. Okay. Just curious what you had to say about that, Menace. And then what else would you, anything else that you have to share? I miss you, I haven't talked to you, but I think I'm going to be there in Stanford just going a few weeks.

Really? What else do I have to share? I don't know, I just miss you and I love you, tell me. Oh, no, again, just more traveling. August, I'll be, what's up to all our listeners. In Chicago, in Philadelphia, I'll be out there in August. Great. And I am, I, oh, here's my newest obsession.

I know it's, no, it's not very sexy. But my new obsession, because it has everything I love is Buying stocks is what buying stocks Stock stocks, you know of companies. Yes. Yes. You're playing the stock market Yeah, because it had I didn't I never realized this but it has everything I love I Love spending money, right? I have a really bad problem of this loving, I'm not very frugal at all, right? Right. So at least I feel like I'm spending money on something, I'm getting something in return and it feels like a

little bit of gambling, which I love, you know. Right, right, but you gotta be smart about it. Living, yeah, living in San Francisco, you don't really, there's no really too many options where you can just go gamble right away if you want to. This way, I can gamble every single day. I love it. Yeah, exactly. Oh my God, that's cool. Minus, look at you making money. At least I, at least, with this, you know, I get to keep a little bit of my money, too. Right. I wish I was doing this, I was doing this earlier. Well, you had to pay off your debt and all that stuff, but you did. I had to pay off debt and then I got so messed up in the head that my parents never let me spend my own money.

Like, any time I've been working since I was like 15 and a half, 16 years old. They made me save all my money, all of it. Wow. And then just have a little piece. And then once I got the hands, my hands on my own money, I never learned anything from saving all the money. I'm like, damn, I finally have money. Now I can go get the things that I wanted.

You know? Right, right. Good. You're making decisions. So I started going crazy. Oh, you've been buying everything. Well, I'm proud of you. You're making money. And that's all good. You're making decisions and you're in doubt. It's so I started going crazy. Oh, you've been buying everything. Well, I'm proud of you being making money, and that's all good.

And then it's truth is that money is a big thing in relationships. So I think it's smart that you're hurting. It is, totally. Money sucks, kids, and I think those are the biggest three killers of relationships. Not that the kids are so bad, but how they deal with the children.

And money issues, couples don't talk about money issues, and how they handle money. so that's, you know, it's good to have a healthy attitude about it. I think people are cheap as hell, whatever, and I look just like, you know, if a guy has a lot of money, then I have no questions as long as you spend it on me. Okay, let's move into it, not kidding, you know,

they don't have to buy me money. Although one of our listeners does want to send me a pair of shoes, size seven, again, which you know that I love. Okay, let's get to it. I told you to make an Amazon wish list and put it on the Sex with Emily website and see if anyone gets it for you. Should I do that? Okay, I'm putting up an Amazon wish list.

Will you help me, Menace? We can put stuff on that for you. Yeah, just be interested, interesting just to it regardless, even if people don't buy anything, what your, what things does Emily. Oh my God, what I got. Well, I don't know. I don't know. You're like a total hippie.

I don't see, like, I know you like fancy things and like shoes, why is like East St. LaRont and Gucci and all this stuff like any other woman. But it's funny other than that Like I have I would absolutely have no freaking idea of things that you would want in your life. Oh my god You think I'm a hippie It'll be an interesting insight. Yeah, wow. I don't know I still don't even understand what you do with your day I know you're very busy all the time and you work towards your brand, but outside your brand I do not know what you do with your day. I know you're very busy all the time and you work towards your brand, but outside your brand, I do not know

what you do for entertainment. I don't, I just work all the time trying to build my brand. I don't, I'm working on having more fun. I live near the beach and you're right. And I've been a workaholic building my sex with Emily Brand, which is doing very well. And you're right, I don't know what the hell I do. But I would like a new iPhone, which I haven't gotten the new one yet, the six or the five or whatever's

the one that I don't have. Whatever, we'll talk about it. Yeah, it's just a five right now. But I definitely don't need sex toys because here's the problem. So my, as you know, I have a five by five storage unit that I had to rent just to fill with all the sex toys that I have. Because every company sends me every day I get boxes and boxes and boxes and it's hilarious. Like I'm gonna do something for our people, for our listeners where I'm gonna be giving away just some of these sex toys as we often do,

but I'm gonna do a funny video of people coming to my storage unit, picking up their sex toys. So those will just be like for people in the Los Angeles area, but I'll also do it for listeners. But I think I mentioned this, I don't know if I mentioned it yet,

but there's like a huge deal. You know the original, you know the Hitachi Magic Wand is no longer Hitachi. So Hitachi sold, Hitachi was part of the whole, you know, like television, whatever. It's now called the original Magic Wand, and they've actually improved it.

It's like the Mac Truck of All Vibrators plugs into the wall. They have improved it. It's brand new and it's called the original Magic Wand. But it's a little better now. It's a little stronger. It's got a little, it feels a little differently. It's much more intuitive. The user experience is better.

So go to goodvibes.com. Use coupon code GVMLE20 and you get 20% off orders of a hundred dollars or more. Or just visit my products page. Go to sexathelmy.com, click on good vibes. You can see all the toys that I pick. If you don't know what to buy your partner or if you're looking for a beginner vibrator, I pick all, I list all the best ones there. That's goodvibes.com. One of my favorite places on Earth. Okay, so I'm gonna get in some emails because you love hearing from the people.

Okay, dear Emily. Oh my God, oh my God, I'm sorry. What, go, menace, time. Before I forget, you have you seen, you're living Los Angeles now, but there was this video, I mean, ladies might find this attractive and funny and not while some parts aren't funny But this completely naked man

was terrorizing people inside the bar station Which is our you know our subway system in San Francisco and He just went absolutely nuts and was doing acrobatics throughout the whole subway system. And it's gone completely viral and come to find out this guy was like a circus performer. And I mean complete like backflips totally nude. Oh my god, I think I heard about that. And it's like side cartwheels. Yeah, it is insane. If you're on YouTube, you didn't hear about it because you live on the East Coast or somewhere else around the world.

You gotta go on YouTube, type in Bart Crazy Naked Man. It is absolutely freaking hilarious. The only part is he does, he does like chase after some women and, you know, some old men and stuff like that and scare them a little bit. Okay, so he's a little perverted. He doesn't harm them at all, but he does freak them out and he just does like these insane handstands like completely naked. Oh my god, that's crazy. Okay, I'll check it out.

Yeah. Send it to me. I decided to share that. Okay. I love it. I'll send you a link. Okay. So um, okay. Deer Emily, over the past several months, I've had trouble keeping and sometimes getting an erection. I have a very beautiful wife who is

very sexy, but sometimes during sex, I lose the stiffness. I used to be able, I used to be able to any in all the time, but now I just don't know. Can you help this 43-year-old man? Due to work schedule, probably we'll miss your show. Please respond by email. Thanks Fred. Sorry Fred, I'm responding on the show. First of all, you're 43 old man. It's more common that way, you know, for men in their 40s. So the first thing I would do is talk to your doctor about the problem. He might want to prescribe a medication for you, although I don't always say that's the first bet, but he'll also be able to look at your diet and the effect of any other medications that you're currently taking. Like blood pressure medication, antidepressant, or if you drink a lot, or smoke pot, or smoke cigarettes, I

don't know whatever it is. There are a lot of things that can impact that. Also, when this happens, there are things exercises that you can do. There's like the stop, start method, there's a great book called the multi-orgasmic man. It doesn't mean that you need to have multi-orgasms, but that it does teach these exercises that men can do. Not a lot of great things on the market. I mean, if you want to take Viagra, I don't know. I don't like to resort to medications. So I would say the first thing is to talk to your doctor,

but also a lot of times. I don't know. You said it just over the past several months, Fred, that this has been happening. So I'm wondering like if you have some extra stress in your life, a lot of times in men are experiencing like financial stress or stress with work or emotional turmoil,

it will have an impact on their sex life and therefore their penis. So that's what I gotta say about that. And remember, just because you can't keep hard or you have premature ejaculation, which is, or you lose a stiffness, which is kind of a bummer, sometimes when you take your mind off it and you turn all your attention to pleasing your partner. Like just decide, you know what? I'm not getting hard right now and you get in, you perform oral sex on her, you use toys, play some games. If you let your mind drift to making her happy, you'll get your mind off of thinking about

how hard you are and you might just surprise yourself by getting a hard penis back again within 20 minutes of pleasing your partner. So just because you can't, doesn't mean that she can't have fun as well. Don't forget that. A lot of time to manner her head and it's all over, but believe me, if a guy couldn't get hard, but he was like, Emily, I want to give you a back massage and perform all the sucks on you for six hours, I'll be pretty good. I'm happy.

Not six hours, but you know what I mean. So you know what I mean. So you know what's crazy? Okay, you know I love Gawker, right? So anytime Gawker, anytime there's a sex tape that comes out, Gawker puts clips of it on Gawker.com. So there was the video of that team mom who I absolutely cannot stand it. I do not know how Dr. Drew even deals with her her name's Farah. She's a completely a complete freaking moron. Okay. So she she came out the

sex tape to try to ponder off like oh it was a leak tape but she totally just had it made with this porn star. And so I looked at the clip and this it was weird because the guy the guy's Penis wasn't completely Erect it was weird. It was like erect halfway and then the rest rest of it just seemed like it was just hanging there So it was like just flopping around like crazy. Wow, and I was like, you know, I Don't know how many how many Penises have you dealt with in your life where it was just halfway there,

instead of just completely, you know. Where it was half hard? Yeah, yeah. I think that that happens a lot. What, that men are hard and they're not hard or they can only get half hard, half erect, half mast. I think it's really common that men go in and out of erections Like like they're really into it and they stop and get a condom or she gets up to pee and then he gets soft again

So I think it's really common. Is that what you're asking? Yeah, I just I I don't know I never encountered that before where you know I and encountered that before where you know I just does Viagra should take care there I guess but I'm sorry I missed the first part where did you see these penises that weren't hard and they were going hard again where did you see them it was on gocker on gocker okay yeah well maybe it's because he had a videotape a video camera on them that could be also but no he was a per he was a professional porn star he was okay i mean i just think it

happens who knows he could be taking drugs but a lot of men i think that the men who get turned on by seeing their partner have pleasure as well can bring it get their get their get it back on and i think that once you get inside they can get you they can get hard again they get a bone or again by seeing their partner and a lot of men get orgasms when they give their partner or get hard when they see the partner giving or as that orgasm or they get soft while she's trying to get the condom on but then he gets hard

again when she gets it on so i think it's common that it fluctuates totally common don't forget about it. And I do believe again that a lot of premature ejaculation issues or a lot of staying hard issues, keeping interaction issues, have to do with the mind. And have to do with like, oh my God, it happened last time, it's going to happen again. And what I want to teach men, and I'm trying to think of some kind of like, like some kind of like MP3 I can create, for men with premature ejaculation to listen to, like a meditation, but it's all about your penis. And it's like, get out of your head and how you, I know I say that all the time.

And people are like, but what the hell do you mean? Cause a lot of us, especially when we're with a new partner, we think about like, does she like me? Does she think I'm attractive? Is my penis big enough? Am I doing the right thing? She's thinking do my thighs look fat? I wish you turn the lights off.

We're in our heads. And so what you have to do in that moment is go back to your body and think, what am I feeling in this moment? And go back to like, okay, my penis is inside of a vagina. What does that feel like? Oh, I'm getting these tingling feelings in my spine. She, you know, and for women, like just get out of your head. We're always in our heads.

And maybe it's just because I'm neurotic. I don't know, a lot of us. We're in our heads, the phone's going off. You gotta just go back to your breath. And if you can't even do that, just focus on your breath. Because it'll take you out of your head and into your heart and your body. How's that?

That's what I feel. Okay. Because that's a big one, minus. I'm always telling people to get out of their head and they don't know what I mean. So I had to just explain. Dear Emily, you said on the love line that you feel a person needs to cut all ties with an ex in order to move forward. I've been with my boyfriend for six months now and he is a bartender. When one of his exes comes to the bar, he is forced to interact with them. I trust him, but after hearing your comment, I'm having second thoughts about our feature,

signed Dan. Okay, so Dan is with a bartender and I, okay, this is the thing. I think what I was saying on Loveline, what I always think is that if you're with somebody, let's go through a painful breakup. I want to hear what you'd say about this, I mean, I think we agree, but you'll never know with us. But I think that if you, the relationship ended and you know that it's over, and you want to move on, and you can't seem to move on, you have to cut off all

ties with this person. Whether it means deleting their phone number, defreading them on Facebook, not going to the places that you know they're going to frequent. Don't become a psychostocker, don't ask your friends if they ran into them. You really need to cut those ties. Now, I'm not saying that you can never be friends again, but I say just for six months, it's like a detox. Like you almost become addicted to your family. You might have been with them for six months, a year, 10 years, and it's just hard to get them out of your system. So you have to just build a really full life

without that person and it's hard. But if you want to move on and you want to heal, the people who like talk to their exes every day and like it takes them a month to get all their stuff back from the apartment after they broke up are not really dealing in reality and the sooner you get over your ex and the sooner you take measures, the sooner you'll move on. But with this guy and with this guy who is a bartender, I mean you can't exactly like, you know, if they all live in a neighborhood and the X comes in the bar, he can't say you can't come into my place of employment.

So I don't know Dan. Does he seem, is he flirty with this guy? He's thinking of breaking up with his boyfriend because his X comes in the bar. But unless you think there's something going on with them, if he's just serving him a cocktail and that happened to be a hangout for all their buddies, I don't really think you need to break up with them. If he's just serving him a cocktail and that happened to be a hangout for all their buddies, I don't really think you need to break up with them. But if you notice some behavior where they're flirty or something's on wrong, then I, you know, I would have a talk with them. But basically the theory that you should end it with your ex, I'm not, I'm you know me, Mattis. I'm friends with all my exes. My ex is the baby daddy to my dog 10 years later. But you have to just,

I think to heal emotionally, you need to just cut, cut, cut, clean break, amputate. What do you think? Yeah, totally. I don't know. Well, it's kind of hard also with social media these days, right? I know. That's why you got to get them on your Facebook page.

Not to cut. It's hard because, you know, I mean, some people, some X's you are completely cool with, you know, I just didn't work out. Exactly. You guys are cool. So your friends on social media, but with Sucks is like, you know, you're dating somebody and they happen to know that these people are your X's. So even if something is completely innocent, and they're commenting on some photo you took or something like that, it does make the other person jealous and then think there's more going on than just that. I know, we've all become a city, we've all become a world of professional stalkers.

I can see every ex-boyfriend's vacation and baby and whatever like I don't need that And I mean those are my ex's I'm so friends with but if it's a recent acts you don't want to see what they did last night like you really don't believe me Get them on or you can even blow you don't have to defreand them you can block them all their postings from your feed, right minus? You can't yeah, but they also I don't know they pop yeah. Okay. They also, I don't know, they pop up. Okay, they do pop up sometime. All right, so here we go, okay. Ooh, this is good. Dear Emily, my wife doesn't like be going down on her

because she's so dry down there. If I can't go down on her, what are the forms of form play can I do? She complains that there's not enough for play. However, not being able to go down on her is like taking away my best weapon. I've been able to do with past girlfriends and I've had success with it, please help. Okay, so here's the deal. A lot of women, okay, first of all, I believe that every couple needs a bottle of lubricant on their nightstand, okay? It is not, so what if she's dry?

If she probably feel there's a stigma attached to dryness in women. And so I think a lot of women are embarrassed, they're like, oh, he's gonna think I'm not turned on, I'm not into him, but there are like a dozens of reasons why women are dry. And they can be very turned on, but they're like, oh, he's going to think I'm not turned on, I'm not into him. But there are like dozens of reasons why women are dry. And they can be very turned on, but they're still dry. And so I think you should always have a lubricant nearby.

There's lubricants that taste good. So if you really want to perform oral sex on her, you can get a lubricant that has like a little taste to it. Or, you know, I prefer tasteless loops. I prefer ones that are just like, you know, you can't really taste it, but you can still perform oral sex at her. I like the mask oral strips.

You know, I think they're amazing. That's sexualflavors.com, F-L-A-V-O-R-S. They're these like, listarine strips. They put in your tongue that mask the taste of semen, whatever, those are just fun to play with because it could feel tingly on her. But as far as a lubricant goes, I actually have, okay, so I have tested every lubricant on the market. And in a month from now, I have a lubricant coming out that is what I believe is the best lubricant that's ever been made on the planet.

And it's not just because I made it, it's because I partnered with one of the smartest people in the business. If you go to Emily and Tony.com and put in your email address, we will email you when the Loub is ready, which is in the next month. So men is okay, so he wants to know what other forms of for-play he can do. So you can't perform oral sex on her, you could play with her breasts very softly. I find that couples who are together for a while. I feel like a lot of men just kind of go right for the vagina and they forget that the

breasts, the nipples are really sensitive. The second most common type of orgasm is a nipple orgasm. I'm not saying she can have that, but you could give her her massage. You could use a massage candle. You could warm her up in a lot of different ways. You could also play with sex toys together. Hopefully, you're not one of these guys who's got a stigma using sex toys because most women need the couturel stimulation. If you go to goodvibes.com and use coupon code gvmly20, you get 20% off any toys.

They recommend the best couple vibrators. I love the Lilo little vibrators. I love the Jezou vibrator, the Mimi. So these are all different forbites. Take a shower together, get warmed up. And it's sad, I don't know how old she is, but she's dry down there. There's also could be something going on with her hormones

so she could get checked by her doctor. But I just think you gotta get creative and ask her what she likes. Maybe she likes being kissed on the neck, the ears, whatever. Buy my book, hot sex, over 200 things you can try tonight. There's great things there. Buy an Amazon. So that's a deal. Menace, have you been with a woman and used to spec if she's dry, you think that you

haven't turned her on yet? What do you think that she's not you haven't turned her on yet like what do you think? No, just women sometimes are naturally dry and learn that from you. I love when you learn this from me. I know, man, it's so cute. I know it's very rare, but I do listen to them all. You do listen to me. Oh my god, I miss you. Okay, so let's get into our topic. Those were some great emails. Again, you can always email me at feedback at sexwithemily.com. So I figured outdoor sex, it is summertime, lots of people taking road trips, which you love taking road trips, so when you are in the yard, you fly everywhere.

Yeah, I got one planned at the end of the month. Okay, good. Are you coming to LA and not calling me just so I can prepare? Yeah, that's why I didn't say LA. That's cool. Whatever. Yeah, but it's like 24 hours. I don't got time I would eat whatever you do. Okay, whatever doesn't matter. Okay, so road had funny my friend just came Call me this morning and said that she was dating this new guy. They were driving from actually San Francisco to LA And she gave him road had road had and he was so excited that he came in two minutes and he came all over himself and they had a pullover and he had to wash off. But he came in two minutes. It's dangerous pull over to the side of the road. Don't do it while you're driving but wouldn't that be kind of fun if a girl started performing roll sex in you? I'm the side of the road and then you had to exit. When was

the last time that you were driving and then you exit the highway so you don't lose control of the wheel I don't want anyone to get an accent because I said you should perform roadhead I think you should you know be able to control the vehicle. I mean if it's at night and it's on a freeway where There's really no one around. There's there's something here in our area where it's just like absolutely dead There's no one there You don't really have to pull over then you're super suspicious, but you know, I don't know I'll play with each other you could you could stick your fingers inside her I See the safety. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just trying to be safe sex person But whatever if you can handle your operate operate have your machinery and get a blowjob good for you

So outdoor sex what What did you say? I don't know. That's kind of messed up though. She'd let him, you know, get all over himself. That's that's stupid. Well, she didn't realize she would swallow, but she didn't realize that he was about to have a cab and see happens. He happened so fast. He was so excited anyway i mean i went i don't know what i don't know she should have it just got me thinking about roadhead okay it's not a great story but it's about roadhead and roadhead is fun and you can also like you know play with her if she's driving so

it's not it's an equal opportunity thing women can get roadhead to you can perform roadhead on her. Yes. OK, outdoor sex is the summer. Yay. OK, so outdoor sex might not be legal in all places, probably most places, but you can be discrete. And you can also, it can be really like a just a way to spice things up as long as you're

going to be outdoors the summer having fun. It's really hot for a lot of couples. And it's not because it's just because it's something different. It's sort of the unknown. What if someone catches us? But you can also use discretion as you plan your outdoor exploits because it's generally, like I said, not legal and not appreciated by a lot of pass or buys, but if you're worried about getting caught, I think you can just experience the

thrill by fooling around on your apartment's balcony to start. On your backyard or garage garage or a pool. Just make sure the fence is high enough so the neighbors don't get a free show. From there you can then add more scandalous spots. So women to prepare sure we're a skir with no panties or a little sundress or whatever and guys need pants that unzip so it's easy to make a quick and at least semi-cloth getaway in case you have to make a mad dash for it. So if you want to pick a place, the beach is a good place, although I have a problem with the sand getting in places that I don't want it, so I would say you could go in the water.

Your weightless in the water which provides the perfect cover for friskier activities. So the beach, you know, you could go on a sand, but bring a blanket, but also like the beach and like the shallow water. Have you done that? Hot. You could also try something grittier like a public restroom or in your favorite club. You could choose somewhere safe and secluded and put a blanket or a jacket between you and the paint job for comfort if you're on the hood of your car. I was saying I was going to say you should do it on your car.

Getting off the bean track, you might be overtaken by feelings of passion went out on a hike. I did this once with this guy I was dating. We would just start dating. We were in our honeymoon phase. We went on a hike in beautiful Northern California, and we had a little picnic plan, and we kind of moved the picnic off the beaten path and had sex in the woods, and it was sunny and beautiful, and it was really, really hot. So no one saw us, we went off the track, it was fun.

Yeah, it was really fun. I mean, I was like, I don't know. I mean, it's just like, it's hot. I will always remember that. I will always remember that experience because it was just something different. So you can also go on a camping trip, a ride at camping trip, find it like so again, find a spot that semi-remote obscured by trees behind big rocks.

You could also set up a rustic but romantic campsite with a comfortable air mattress in your tent and do something like that. You could do it in your backyard. So let's just say you don't want to go outside yet. Your home turf is a great place to experiment. The beauty of the backyard is it offers all the sensory benefits of an outdoor experience while still giving you privacy, especially if you get behind a hedge or a fence. So a great position if you're doing it in your backyard is reverse cowgirl.

Have them sit in a lounge or a launch chair with his legs outstretched, then straddle him so you're facing his feet. Place your hands on his thighs and plant your feet on the ground on either side of the chair then move up and down to stimulate the sensitive nerves at opening of your vagina. Another option, have him recline so he's lighting line down which allows for deeper penetration. So there you go, I just told you all to have a hot summer night in your backyard if you have a fence and the neighbors are watching your turn of the lights. That's kind of hot.

Have you had sex outside, men? Outside. I'm trying to remember if it's ever been outside. I mean, it's definitely been like public bathrooms and stuff like that. Yeah, I never wanted to do that. I don't want germs. Out in the actual wilderness, I do not believe that has happened, but in the cars definitely happen numerous times. Right. Yeah, just not... This is not one with nature has happened. Right, so you'll give you new ideas.

Here's another thing. In the woods, next time again, next time you're hiking, but I'm going to give you a position now. Next time you're hiking, you're mountain biking with your guy or or girl stop and work up a different kind of sweat. There's something very wrong primal about having sex in nature, so a good position is doggy style. Lean on a big rock or tree for support while he enters you from behind. This will keep sticks. This will keep the sticks from getting up your butt.

His hands can stroke your other hot spots and you can arch your back for deeper penetration. I like that idea. Again, water, not just the ocean, but shower. So getting wet can be wild. Being immersed in water or standing in a stream of it feels pleasurable since your skin can become more sensitive to touch when wet. So whenever we're wetter, like whether it's through water or lubricant, it just feels more sensitive. So it's really great to use water as your lubrication, but sometimes it can wash away your natural lubrication, which is when you can use a silicone-based lip.

But the best position is standing up. So if you're in the shower, wrap your legs around his waist. Have him lean up against you against the wall and push your swimsuit bottom to the side for easy access. Throw your arms around his neck while he grabs your butt to control the pace. That could be in the water. And then finally, which I think is so peaceful on a boat or a raft. Again, water is super sensual, soothing, hot summer night, instead of taking an actual dip

float above by having sex in a boat or a sturdy raft on a quiet lake. I was on a raft in it was so nice like I wanted to have sex but like I wasn't with someone to have sex with but I was on a raft when I was at the hotel in Palm Springs it was so peaceful and all these couples I was like why don't they like having sex and like doing it because they weren't touching I told you that's how I opened the show but I was thinking the water is a very central place. So just think of some fun things to something to mix it up this summer when your outdoors having fun. That's what I got for you on our topic. Would you say? I said hell yeah. Hells to the yes. And then what else, menace? We'll be doing

a show again next week. We've got lots of shows coming up. Yes Please download the sit your app. You can listen. It's totally for free You can listen to sex with Emily on the sit your app. It's for your iPhone for your Android for your tablet It's STI TCHER just type in sex or type in sex Emily or just Emily Morris and you can stream it on the go. It's the best app ever. People, because a lot of people don't realize that they think they have to download it from iTunes. I mean, you can just have this app, Stitcher, and you can listen to all your favorite podcasts, which hopefully mine is a top of list.

It's awesome. So yeah, download Stitcher and that's a great thing. And then Menace, you can find Menace at White Menace. I mean at Menace. And then your website, do you want to give out a website right now? You're always changing your things. Yeah, I just follow menace on Instagram.

That's my favorite. And are all the people on Snapchat? There's apparently a ton of our listeners on Snapchat. So Menace FM on Snapchat. OK, I'll check out Snapchat too, I think. I love everyone, I love my listeners, I love hearing from you, I've been getting so many emails, you know, menace we always get a lot of emails with questions from listeners and I'm trying my best to get to all of you and because I just want to help the world

have better sacks, because that's why we're all here on the planet when we have better sacks we're in a better world. Remember, go to my website, sackswithmlle.com. Put in your email address. I will not spam you, but you will get the five mistakes you're making about if you're a man and a woman you can select. And I think you're really like the report.

Let me know what you think of it. And thank you so much, Menace. I adore you to pieces. And thanks everyone for listening to Sacks With Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of massage oil candles?

Okay, so get this. I always like candles when I'm enjoying glass of wine with friends. And recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emily and Tony. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See, these candles are really aroma therapy massage oils that were warm like a candle.

They melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating. It leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself. You can use during for-play and you know me, I'm a firm believer in for-play. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and fuzzer. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at emelenetony.com. And you're welcome.

Help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at Emily and Tony.com. And you're welcome.