Sex With Emily - SWE: Casual Relationship

Episode Date: June 1, 2013

How do you know if someone wants your babies or if they just want to do it? Emily talks about casual relationships and the resurfacing guy or girl. You know, that one elusive guy/girl that texts you "Hey" out of the blue. How to change your expectations and come out on top in all your relationships. Then there's the guy who doesn't understand why his girlfriend doesn't explode with orgasms after a couple of thrusts. Women need clitoral stimulation and this podcast will show you how to give her what she needs! If you're interested in casual relationships and want to change your love life, check out my sponsors: Crazy Girl, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Crazy Girl. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes Then the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a bag on me. Hey, Emily You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair standard. Oh my the The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry?

It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god! I'm so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.

For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts. Sign up for our mailing list and you know what? You better do that ASAP because we have a special new thing on our website. If you give, if you sign up on our email and our, on our, you'll see a video there and I'm going to be giving away to everybody who signs up a report that I did, an extensive report, the five biggest mistakes women making bed and the five biggest mistakes men making bed. So just put in your email address, we will not share your information.

Um, we'll just, if you want to, we'll be sending some great sex tips and information to improve your sex life, which is what sex with Emily is all about. Because we love helping people have better sex. We've been doing it for almost 10 years now with my co-host Menace. What's up, Menace? How you doing? Where the hell have you been? Is the question. Oh my god, Menace. I miss you so much. But before I just wanted to give a shout out to you, man, I'm just, just because you're sitting there. But I just want people to know that today's show is about a very interesting topic.

It is something that keeps coming up. You know how sometimes I pick topics, like people are like, what are the big trends in sex? What are the big trends in dating? And oftentimes things are sort of like, oh, you know, everyone wants a threesome or everyone wants anal. But, but lately there has been this topic and that is the resurfacing guy or the resurfacing girl, the person who just sort of, you know, pops up and like, you know, the one you went on a couple dates with and then they fell

at the face of the planet and then they start texting you six weeks later. We're going to talk about what that's about. And we're going to talk about how to spot the traits in a person, how to recognize if someone is a person that you should date after only three dates. I think after the first date, but I'm going to give you all three dates to let you know if this is the right person that you're going to date. We're also going to be reading all the emails that you send to feedback at sexwithemily.com. I love answering your emails. And you can follow me on Twitter. We're giving away great stuff. And that is at sex with Emily and my Facebook page is sex with Emily. And that's why I got to say minus. Hi, darling. I just had to get all that out. It's all good. So where have

you been? What's been going on? I haven't talked to you in weeks. You just said, hey, I'm leaving tomorrow. And I don't even know where you went or what You just said, hey, I'm leaving tomorrow. And I don't even know where you went or what. You said, I'll be back in a couple weeks. That's it. Okay. Um, I know. I went to Mexico for two weeks on vacation, two weeks in Mexico. Have you ever known me to take a vacation ever? Although, yes, I did go to Mexico earlier last year, but that was my first vacation for real in eight years. Since I started like 10 years, since I started sex with Emily. So I went away and it was, I went away with a guy that I've been having some fun with.

And it was a very long time to be away with a guy that I'm having some fun with, but we had a really nice time. And I'm going to get into more details about that another time, I think. What? Let's just say, oh gosh, I'm not prepared right now to say what I want to say because like it's new, I'm living in LA, whatever I really like him. Vacation, it's so good for a relationship whether you've been together for minutes, four years, four years to go on vacation and just chill, turn off your cell phone, turn off your email and vacation sex, kind of rocks.

I just, I want to know more about this guy and what you do for two weeks. I mean, I would lose my mind. I can only take, you know, at most, three, four days away from work. Well, I did a lot of work. I did a lot of writing. I can only take you know at most three four days Away from work. Well, I did a lot of work. I did a lot of writing. I did a lot of writing I did a lot of work But I did a lot of mostly just chilling on the beach like seriously we were in Playa del Carmen, Mexico We stayed at a really nice hotel on the beach and we just Chilled out. I mean really like I didn't do I'm a I'm a workaholic right as we know

and I'm not a very good one because I'm sort of inefficient and I've ADD so it takes me a lot longer to get places in life but I am a workaholic and I've been working on sex with Emily trying to make him living in it for so long and I met this cool guy loves travel he's like let's go and you know me I'm like whatever why not so I found a place for my dog and we went away and it is very telling you learned a lot about someone spending Two I don't even know if I want to spend two weeks for myself, right? But we just like took walks on the beach we exercise we ate we like hung out

You know we had fun sat a casual sex where you don't really have to like like casual like there's no phones going off There's no emails we you know have a good time like there's no phones going off, there's no emails. We, you know, have a good time. And I like them and he's great. And I don't want to get into more than that, but I promise that I will in the coming weeks, I think. All right. But no, I just want to say for everybody,

like I started thinking about this because actually, while I was on vacation with this guy, and really it was great in relaxing and all that that that so many times I get asked by like magazines and you know for my quotes about what your couples do just buy stuff and we're like oh take vacations you know not everyone can afford a vacation okay I can't afford this vacation this guy took me away but anyway find a friend who has a house in their out of town and you say that you'll dog sit something about just mixing up the location and where you're at and not having the kids

in the phone and the TV and just commit to like, you know, bringing something new to that equation, whether it's a sexy piece of lingerie, playing a game, a fantasy, some sex stories, something fun and getting away with your partner and just something about moving the situation, like switching up that you're always a sex in the bedroom with a TV on the background and afraid the kids are going to come in. It really reconnects you as a couple. I think it's an important thing to do. You only go on vacation, menace for a work.

Right? You go on vacation, you travel, but it all work. But, but at the end of the year, I'm going to be going on a for realification that doesn't involve work. I'm going to with you. I'm going to the Bahamas. No way. Yeah, so I, at that point, yeah, yeah. But the thing is, that's probably my first vacation,

probably in 15, 20 years. I mean, I think I've gone on vacations when I was like 15, but that's it. Oh my God, you really, because you have been like a worker, huh? Yeah, but that's amazing. I'm always flying, I'm always going cool places. I mean, like work is amazing.

It's not, you know, I'm doing hard labor somewhere. I'm going and doing cool things. I actually just traveled last week I went to Chico Sacramento, Denver, St. Louis Missouri, Chicago, back to San Francisco. Well, no, I went to my sister's graduation in Chico. Oh, right. And it was amazing. She has this total party house with a pool and everything. There was, it was just flooded with people. Everyone just getting completely wasted. We popped a bottle of Dom Perillon.

Always buy it at Costco. It's cheap at Costco, people, if you want to celebrate. Okay. Classy. And then, this is the part that was held though. So, I was parting all day long with my sister, her friends, my family. And I had to be on a plane the next day at 540 AM in Sacramento. I took a flight from there to Denver, hung out

on Denver for a little bit, then got another flight, went to Missouri, was in Missouri for like day and a half, then flew to Chicago and then back home. But what was really cool is like, you know me, I'm always on Instagram and Twitter and all this stuff. So I kept on checking into all these places and all these sex with Emily listeners, kept on welcoming me to the area. So it's so cool.

They were all the sex with Emily listeners, they were like, hey, come visit. They're like, hey, what's up, welcome. You know, so that was really cool. Sex with Emily listeners, love you. We've been getting a lot of emails and people are like, menace rocks, just say hi to menace. Thank you.

Yeah. I've been getting a lot of funny quotes lately. Like because you run old podcasts like on Thursdays, right? Or when you do it, throwback shows. So it's funny when I get there are best of shows Yeah, it's our best podcasts. Yeah one which by the way, let me just say one thing before you remember what you're gonna say here I have to explain to people who are listening that we have new podcasts and we have podcasts that are a little that are like our best of But let me just tell you the bottom line. These podcasts don't go out of they don't they don't they don't expire. Oh, they're evergreen. If I'm telling you how

to give it, they're evergreen. If I'm giving you tips on oral sex today, it's the same as it was last year. So you know what? Listen to the goddamn show and don't complain. Go ahead. Oh, you've been getting some complaints. I don't get to see any of that. Not them. People don't get it. They don't complain, but they're like, why are you playing? I'm saying, if you haven't heard it,'ve got 800 shows so I'm just playing some of our best of that I think you'll really appreciate but the sequence of order can be confusing to people yeah I mean there's all there's old shows that you know of course the heart the hardcore listeners probably heard

before but you know what we get new listeners every single day Emily you're on freaking love line which is a nationally syndicated radio show. So Emily's getting brand new listeners every single day, like I said. So- Every single day. So they haven't heard all these bad catalogs. So I apologize if you hear something you've already heard

before, I'm sorry, but the show- And I'm right, we're sorry, but the show still lives on and medicine I will still be doing actually more and more new shows and the show is still free, you know? We tried it. We tried it. We're not we're not charging you. Yeah, we tried to charge people for a little while and hey, do you know what? You didn't want to pay. You complained. You said you wanted free. This is what we got to do to, you know, keep the show going. We play a couple of throwbacks here and there. Chill out.

Yeah, gotta make a living. Chill out, right? Exactly. Gotta make a living. Gotta pay the bills. Someone's got, yeah, people don't just pay me to talk to you for free, right? Of course.

So we're trying here, but thank you, everyone, for understanding. So what were you going to say, Matt? No, I was just saying thank you to all the listeners that are tweeting me in all the states and places that I was visiting. I love that. I'm doing think I'm sorry Yeah, I'm just doing this campaign for Ford I have one of their brand new Ford fiestas the 2014 that's not out yet

so I'm doing This thing for fiesta movement dot com that's fiesta movement dot com you click on agents and you see You see me on the number one agent on there And you see all my travels and all the cool stuff that I'm doing so Oh, that's really cool. It's not sex though. I'm sorry. It's not sex. But yeah, so I get yeah I get a car. I don't know. We haven't even talked about anything about sex. Can you tell me one thing sexually that you've done? That's interestingly lately. Well, I mean interesting. Well, I had sex this morning. I'm dead tired. I don't know.

Do you have this problem that you hear that women like having sex at night and men like having sex in the morning? Yes. Because men wake up with boners and they're like, well, I already got a boner. Might as well stick it in her. Yeah.

And that's, I like, I like morning stuff because I'm completely tired at the end of night. I don't even want to do anything. And then in the morning, I'm all, you know, I'm all well rested. I'm ready to go. You know, what? Why isn't that just a great way to start your day? It is.

I mean, for some people, so how does she feel about it? Oh, she's down. She doesn't care. But I shouldn't care. He just rolled over and stuck it in. Yeah, yeah. Right. That's why I think not but so

Men are not morning sex people typically. I'm actually not a big I was just talking about this like with this guy that I'm not a big Morning sex person because I wake up and my brain is like I gotta do this. I gotta do that. I gotta go to the gym I gotta gotta get to work. I got a conference call. I can't focus on my orgasm and his orgasm because I want to get the hell out of bed I'm just think God I woke up. Oh my god. It's not it's not like You're actually waking up in the morning anyways. You wake up. How late you wake up like in the after freaking afternoon I wake up at nine. I know I wake up late Yeah, but I work late. I was up last night to like 3 30 working late But I another thing I want to say you said morning sex. That is really interesting. Do you

prefer morning or new? And I think it changes, but after I love weekend sex, like seriously bring me bring me morning sex on a weekend. I'll I'll make that last all day. What about hotel? I can have sex hotels the best because you don't have to clean anything. Let's talk about hotel sex. All right, go for it. I just had Amazing hotel sex because we were at this beautiful villa in Playa del Carmen and we had our own pool Like I look like our own little hot tub that it's a pool But it's also a hot tub You can tell them if you want it to be bubbly or if you want it to be a pool. It was our own private villa and

So we had this hot tub at night and we could play, and just had room service come delivered, swim in our pool. And I have all these amazing, you know, I have all these new sex toys that are really fun, that I'm going to get into in a minute, but they're all waterproof now.

Like so many of the sex toys are waterproof, so you played with like sex toys in the water. It was really fun. Oh my God. Did you bring that all on? Did you bring that all on? Carry on or did you leave it in your bag? Dude, I checked my bag and I seriously had so many sex toys

because I'm so overwhelmed with all the sex toys that I get said to me that I really want. I'm like what better time to try them out than two weeks on vacation? So I brought like 15 of them. And my luggage was so heavy, I was afraid like Mexican costumes were going to open up and it was going to start vibrating. Yeah. I'm trying to remember there was a famous person just recently who got busted at the airport with the sex toy on carry on luggage. I'm going to try that looked

that up while we're talking. Okay. Look that up while you're talking. But why is that bad? Why can't you bring a sex trip for carry on luggage? I mean, it's not bad, but I'm sure it's, I'm sure it's not fun. I'm sure it's embarrassing. I always travel, I always travel

with a little bullet vibrator. I love those fuck, those bullets, they sell them at good vibes. Just go to goodvibes.com. So here's the deal. There's been a lot happening with sex toys So you know I always talk about the the the magic wand, right? It was formally called the Hattachi magic wand and it's like the Mac truck of all vibrators We write about it and talk about it way too much, but we love it You plug it into the wall to go out of this power long story short Hattachi the name the Japanese, has taken their name away from

Hattachi and now it's just called the original Magic Wand. And you can get it at Good Vibes. They just sent me, I'm the second person on the planet and I'm very honored to get the latest shipment of the brand new Hattachi. It's called the original Magic Wand. And it's from Vibratax, but you can get it at Good Vibes. Go to my, just go to my website and click on the Good Vibes banner and it's GVMLE20.

You get 20% off orders of $100 or more. So just go to sexathamely.com and check that out. But these little bullet vibrators that are waterproof, you can just like bring them to the beach, you can bring them to the, you know, throw them in your bag and you can like just start bringing them on the airplane, like they're little tiny vibrators that are powerful. I love them. I love them. Okay, did you find out about the couple? No, I kind of find a way to go out who it was, but there was, here's, I found five tips for traveling with sex toys, so that's pretty good.

So number one. I found five tips for traveling with sex toys, so that's pretty good. So number one, if possible, remove all batteries from the item. Yes, always remove your batteries because actually my assistant, yes, keep going. Choose a product with a lock feature, so maybe it locks on off something. Pack small devices. You don't need to bring my device that I'm working on, the dump truck, that takes up your whole suitcase, you know? Right. Menace has this elusive dump truck idea, which is super sexy.

I get a bone or just hearing about his dump truck toy. Yeah. So a packet between other items, kind of hide it. Don't just leave it on top of everything and If questioned answer honestly like if they just just say what it is don't like make up a story on you know It's a it's a back massage or something like that Right exactly. Just tell them I got caught in TSA in Las Vegas when I was coming back from the Sex Toy trade show And I had like like literally 30 toys and they just laughed are like hey no saying we see it all the time

They were not worried about it But I was gonna say that some great other toys to travel with I'm really into the fun fun factory Fun factory makes amazing toys Again, these are all good vibes.com. Go to my website, click on the banner, you'll get the discount. Fun Factory makes amazing water poops, small little toys.

Most women guys need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm during intercourse. They make these powerful suckers that you put in your hand, they're like oval shape. And you put them in the palm of your hand, and you can just put it on your clitoris while you're on top or bottom having sex or he can hold it and it's pretty good bang for your buck and it will get you there. And there's also

the J-JU, J-E-J-O-U-E Mimi, M-I-M-E, and they're both waterproof rechargeable. They will not start buzzing on the airplane and I love them. Nice. I'm just saying. I love them for sex. I love them on the airplane and I love them. Nice. I'm just saying, I love them for sex. I love them for intercourse. I love them for myself. And another thing I want to know,

minus another trend that I've been hearing about is, um, do you believe that the bush is coming back in any way? No, no, no, probably like the hippies hang out with, but the that is not going to happen. No one likes it. Men don't like it. I'm sorry. You get it. Maybe you find a small percentage. Maybe you'll find a small percentage, but that's it. Men don't like the exact men don't like the little bit of hair, like a little landing strip, a little triangle.

No, no, yeah, that's fine, but I just full on Wolverine because, you know what, I'm a feminist and I don't have to, I don't have to do that. I don't, because I don't have to. But what if it's just a pain in the ass? Like, what if I trimmed and I had a little bit of hair? Then that's fine.

And do you know what, check this out? It's still not gonna keep you from getting laid. So don't even worry about it, ladies, just do what you want anyways. Okay, well I just gotta tell you that I got laser, a lot of my hair is gone, but I still have to shave parts. But I was like checking it out in Mexico and we were discussing it and like people we were talking to

about it said yeah, women are starting to a little bit, little bit grow. But there's this, okay, so crazy girl. Also, again, go to sex something.com, click on Crazy Girl. They make this famous shaving cream that I like, talk about all the time and I've used it here, but I never use it on vacation.

It's friggin' amazing. It's called Crazy Girl, wanna be naked, intimate, shave, shave cream. It's also their infamous kuchi cream. It makes you crazy happy because it prevents ingrown hairs and shave cream. It's also their infamous kuchi cream. It makes you crazy happy because it prevents ingrown hairs and shave bumps. It's good for men too, especially good for all those tender places. So if you want, there want to be naked shave cream. And also they have this diva dust that you can put on your body and you smell really fresh and then a guy can lick it off

you. And they also have an orgasm, gel. Don't get me started. Use coupon code Emily25 for 25% of anything. It's called Crazy Girl. Just go to sexthemmy.com, click on the website. I had no bumps for the first time ever. I was very excited because shaving cream only cost 13 months and a wax is very expensive. So I was just wondering what you thought,

because we saw so many different bodies on the beach. We saw some woman with a little hair hanging out. I don't know if it's a thing. So I just wanted to mention that and see how you felt. And then another thing was, and I was gonna say that yes, everyone, it's if you haven't heard of the Love Line show, it has been around for, since 1984,

Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla started it. Dr. Drew is an infamous physician, therapist, addiction specialist, sex specialist, and Adam Corolla. And so every Thursday night, from 10 to midnight Pacific Standard Time, you can listen to the show wherever you are. Listen and watch at lovelineshow.com. But Menace,-incidentally is on live 105 dot com, right? Yes. In San Francisco, right before the show. And you can listen to menace. You can freaking listen to menace and then listen to me.

If you want to listen streaming online that way or if you're in the Bay Area, you can listen to it on your laptop. It's crazy. But being on love line, being on love line is so cool because I love talking to the people live. I mean, I'm going to get into your emails in a second with your pressing questions, but it's just so great hearing what people,

what's going on and the questions, and it's so fun being in the studio. And a lot of times I don't know the guests, you're right, but I try to Google them as they walk in the door. Huh. Oh God. Don't give me started. Yeah, that's good.

Don't even get me started on that. All right, can I share two other trends real quick that I've noticed lately? Please okay, well now one to trend and one is something that made me so freaking happy okay I have been making this debate in this argument for years for years That women do not look good with short hair. Okay, again, I'm not saying, again, I'm not saying, it's gonna keep you from getting laid. You're gonna get laid no matter what.

It is fine. I'm just saying that you look better with longer hair and other women are gonna say, oh my God, you look so cute with short hair, like your little pixie cut. That's because they like it that you don't look better than them anymore. Okay? Or only other women find that attractive. Now, there was just a survey conducted last week. And do you know what the results were? Check this out.

What? Guess, guess what was the percentage of men that preferred short hair out of 100? What? How what? That preferred short hair. Just take a guess. Okay, out of 100%, I would say that 85% preferred long hair. Oh no, no.

15% preferred short hair. Try 4%. 4%? Yes. I don't care. Okay. 15% preferred short hair. Try 4%. 4%? Yeah, and I don't care. Okay. And I don't care what a guy tells you to your face because they'll lie to your face and say that they don't care.

No, my problem with that survey is in theory, a man would say that, but he doesn't mean that he's not going to meet some hot chick with short hair and fall mald. Yeah, yeah. going to meet some hot chick with short hair and fall malted. Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying that chick with short hair probably look a little bit better with longer hair. That's all I got to say. And women would have been arguing with me forever about this.

And I even have her friend who is really attractive, cut her hair short. Oh, it looked terrible. And she thought she looked cute. And she goes, all right, we'll put it on your Facebook. So I took a picture of her with long hair and a picture of her with short. Ah, it looked terrible. And she thought she looked cute. And she goes, all right, we'll put it on your Facebook. So I took a picture of her with long hair and a picture of her with her short. And no, she told me to do it. And she got ripped a fucking new one on this. It was crazy. It was so funny. How short is short? Are you talking pixie cut short? I'm talking picked. Yeah, close to pixie. A little bit maybe a little past the ear type kind of stuff.

When men think, I think that's cute, it's not. And some even look bad. And it's not this way. Okay, well I have, I have, okay. Well, I know I was gonna move on to next thing unless you have more argument for that. Okay, no, keep going, whatever, we've done this, keep going. Okay, well that's just that.

And then now what I've been noticing in pop culture a lot with all these talk shows and everything that they've been bringing up more and more stuff about cheating. Like that's the hot topic. Oh yeah. Why is what's going on? Like people can't stay married forever anymore. What the hell's wrong?

No, they cannot. That is what I'm going to get into. Oh, really? That's kind of the topic of our, no, not next, but when I get to the topic of our show eventually, I think it is about this world that people just don't want to commit that there's always the bigger, better deal, the BBD, as we call it. People think they don't have to settle. They don't have to be unhappy that relationships don't take work and I'm telling you they do. And you also have to have your eyes wide open at the beginning of a relationship so you see the person you are marrying.

The first three to six months where we're in love with their, we're chemistry, we've got hormones raging. People are making bad choices and they are cheating more and more than ever I feel. And I think it's because they're just unhappy and they think it's that society will just trade it out, trade up, you know, whatever it is. And okay, well, what else are you going to say about that? Did you see a new study that came out on the cheating numbers? No, it just, it just seems to be the hot topic that everyone's talking about on all these shows, even freaking the today show, which is so vanilla in their topics. Like that was one of their big topics the other day.

It's crazy. What were they saying about it? They were just like, oh, why is this happening? And, you know, how can you prevent it and all this stuff? And my thing is, if someone's gonna cheat on you, they're gonna cheat on you. You can't do anything about it, really. I mean, what are your thoughts?

Well, I mean, I think you would have a help. Do you really think? I don't think no, no. I think if Well, I mean, I think you would have a health, do you really think? I don't think, no, no. I think if somebody's like got a perclivity to cheat or they're a sex addict or they're not, you know, whatever, but I think if you are in a healthy relationship and you're having good sex and you're having an expansive sex life and you're growing your sex life

and you're constantly, when people don't realize that sex is not a static thing. Sex is something that's ever growing, expanding. It's an end to teenier relationship that you should continue to explore and connect upon. And I think couples have kids, they get busy with their lives, they have sex for 10 minutes, they know, he comes this way, he comes that way,

we're done, let's flip on the TV and read our books or whatever. And that couples that aren't connecting sexually, you know, might be more willing to cheat or couples that don't communicate it. If it could have nothing to do with sex, it could have to do with finances. It could have to do with the way they're raising their children. Couples let issues similar. They don't know how to communicate. And I'm telling every couple out there that's listening to this that you can't do it on your own. And I do believe that couples that you can't do it on your own.

And I do believe that couples therapy, you can get, you could find a therapist in your area, if you can't afford it, that has a sliding scale. You could probably buy a book together. There's some good books that help you move, that help couples do therapy on their own, if you're that motivated. But seriously, it just takes work.

You gotta forget and work. And when couples stop connecting, when they disconnect emotionally and physically, they start cheating. I mean, that's one of the reasons. One of the many reasons. That's a big one. And some people just aren't meant to be monogamous. And that's what keeps coming up for me, men. So that's another trend. It's so funny that I literally, like, I'm talking to my vanilla friends, my friends who are, you know, single my friends who have married for 15 years, random people, religious people, everyone wants to know about swinging. They're like, so what's up with swinging?

Oh, God. Has that happened to you? Like, everyone's like, just curious. Like, is it really happening? How do they get into it? Blah, blah, blah. Do you ever hear about that? Yeah.

I mean, I think I noticed some people swinging that I even realized it, some friends of mine who's been together forever. And then I just noticed we were out at some event and it seemed like they were on other people. It was weird and I go, wait a minute, what's going on here? Oh, wait a minute.

Hmm, this could be a swing. But you wonder something funny. So there's this Playboy TV. One of the most you probably know this, I think, but you probably, I don't know if you watch the TV. One of their most popular shows is called Swing. And they bring a, but it's their third season. And they bring like, you know, like a vanilla couple who's always wanted to buy vanilla. We mean just, you know, a couple who has not experienced a lot You know outside the box and they want to swing so they go to the playboy mansion Of course for a weekend and there it's like Holly and might it's like swinging with Holly and Mike

And then all these couples are in there and they swing and they film it and they go through with their feelings and emotions and Jealousies if you heard of it. No, I haven't. So I'm going to be on the show, not as a swinger, but as a guest expert. Not as a swinger? Not as a swinger, dude. I don't think, unless some of the couples are hot, maybe I'll throw myself in. You're disappointing our fans, but not swingers. I know, I know, I'm sorry fans, but there'll be more opportunities to see me.

Check out my YouTube page too, because I'm doing more videos, sex with Emily. So, yeah, that's going to be on Playboy. And then the other thing I just thought of, which I care, I don't know. I think I should get into some emails. Okay. Yes. What's going on with you? Okay. I love hearing from you. Thanks everyone for emailing me me at feedback at sexwithemily.com. Dear Emily, I have been seeing this female friend on and off for three years now and she is dominant and likes me as a friend with benefits. However, every time we make arrangements for her to come over, she cancels at the last

minute. When she does contact me, she goes after a few hours and doesn't disappear in act for ages. I read on a website that this is a sign that a guy is being used by a woman. Is this right? And is this website, when on this website, when on to say it's a really big sign that a woman is not really into a man? Is this also true? However, I love her domination session and I want more.

I want a real proper relationship and I recently told her that I wanted more and she was willing to give me and wanted to end the show. And that I wanted more than she was willing to give me and wanted to end it all. My mom says I've done the right thing walking away. Do you agree with her at all? You're sincerely Stan. Stan, it's interesting that you write this

because what we're gonna get into later is the resurfacing guy or gala, the person you just kind of friends with benefits, they're kind of casual, they're around, you know, but they're not really wanting to make the commitment. The bottom line is, well first of all you asked if she, you want to know why she contacts you and then she disappears. I mean, I usually think this is very obvious as somebody who's not looking for a serious relationship. She probably likes you Stan, she likes rolling around in the hay with you, but she's got other life, she's got other men, other women, if she's bisexual, who knows. But you've let her know how you feel and she's not reciprocating.

But it's interesting that you bring up women using a man. Because we always hear about men using women, but have the tides turned. Do women use men just as much as men used to use women? And I think that with today's society, with women earning a lot more, not needing men to necessarily support them and get married yet at a young age, the women just might be exploring. I mean, I don't think you should get married before you're 30. Have as much sex and have fun as you want. So maybe this is a new thing. Have you ever felt used by a woman, Menace?

Besides me? Yeah, I get used by you every single week. But no, I totally been in the situation with flaky women where they hit you up, that I like make plans and then it just doesn't happen. And eventually, I just delete that person's number. that are like, make plans and then it just doesn't happen. And eventually, I just delete that person's number. I don't even wanna talk to him anymore

because I don't wanna waste my time. What I feel is what is happening is, this person wants to know that you're there if they need them, you know? Right, it's an ego thing. Yeah, they're like, oh. They're like, oh, I wanna make sure I get validation from all these people. Yeah, and then just like, yeah, we got to hang all these women want me, all these men want me.

Yeah, and then they're like, yeah, of course. And then eventually you just got to, you know, unfollow them on Instagram, delete their number. You know, well, that's like so true. It's like the breakup show. I mean, seriously, that was just like, if you really want to cut contact with someone and you're grieving You have got to stop talking to them. Yeah, there's no ways talking to them every day and having them in your face Like just block their number block all their posts on Facebook. You don't have to defriend them though a lot of my exes like to different me That's what I got to say yeah

X's like the different me. That's what I got to say. Yeah, you just got to flip it on him. Yeah, he wants a proper and let me just congratulate Stan here because Stan you sound like a really mature man because It's tough. He's having great sex. He says he loves the dominant sessions. They have and he wants more But he also recognizes like a mature adult that he wants a proper relationship. She doesn't want to give it, he cut ties. Do you know how many women and men hear these words from prospective partners who say, nope, I don't know what you want, I don't want the same thing you want, but yet they stay with them for another year, another six months hoping they're going to change them.

People don't change. Listen to their words, listen to what someone is telling you. She's saying she doesn't want it. She doesn't want it. Stan moved on. You're gonna find better. You're gonna find someone who wants exactly what you want. Can't wait for that, Stan, for you.

Agree? Agree. Okay. I thought you were going on to the next email. No, I mean, I could keep going on it. And I am gonna go on to the next one. See you around the league. It's kind of hard for us people to, you know, stay on our timing because I'm here in San Francisco

at the Stitcher Studios. Stitcher's an app you can download for free and listen to the show. And Emily, you're in Los Angeles on the beach. I'm on the beach. I'm two blocks away. We need cameras so we can see each other's face while we do this. I think that's the next step. We are going to start doing that. I'm two blocks away. We need cameras so we can see each other's face while we do this.

I think that's the next step. We are going to start doing that. I think that is the next step. Okay. Dear Emily, recently started listening to the show and I've started going back to listen to old episodes because they're informative people. During one of your oral sex episodes, you said that you said that statistically oral sex decreases after marriage.

This is a theory. This is a theory. This is a theory that we are biologically programmed to want oral sex and want to give oral sex to taste our partner to verify monogamy. Example, if you had sex with one guy in the morning and another in the afternoon, then your body will automatically ends up consciously make receiving oral sex a turn off. Conversely, if you've been faithful, then you want oral sex to prove to your partner that you have been. So where does that leave us with the original question?

Just a theory. Let me know what you think. Keyopathy Goodwood. Work. Ron from Alexander. Alexandria LA. I guess that's Louisiana. Okay, Ron, here's a thing.

I think that monogamy is complicated. And I also think that I've never heard this theory, but it makes sense with evolutionary biology. But I also just think that after marriage, people become lazy. People think that a lot of women don't love performing oral sex. A lot of men don't love performing oral sex

and they just kind of get into the deed. They've got 10 minutes, because they've got kids. They know how to have her orgasm hit, or gotten they just let oral sex fall off the table. But that's an interesting theory, because I do know that in evolutionary biology, they do talk about men and women always like, you know, came back in times,

when women were the hunter-gatherers of men, they would be checking, their men's penises are shaped with that little cup at the top, the tip, to pull out the semen of other men So that is that could make sense But I also think that if you like giving oral sex to someone and if you really enjoy it Like I know that there's a lot of people like I love performing oral sex in a man It turns me on and I know a lot of men who love it too

So I think that should never end I think in marriage or relationships people to get lazy. What do you think men? I I think that should never end. I think in marriage or relationships, people just get lazy. What do you think, Menace? I think, I don't know. I don't really, I was thinking about something else that I wanted to bring up on the show, so I apologize. Well, this is one more thing that I want to say is that taste is one of the biggest reasons why women stop giving oral sex. There were studies shown that women just don't like the taste of a man's semen.

They don't like the taste of everything down there. So as we've talked about in the show, I think the greatest invention on the planet literally is mask sexual flavor strips. That's M-A-S-Q-U-E. Just go to my website, sexualtaleeclang, click on Mass Sexual Flavor Stops. They're basically like those Listerine strips that you put on your tongue for breath, fresh breath, but these actually mask the taste of semen.

So you put them on your tongue right before you perform oral sex on a man. He doesn't even have to know, but he might find it fun because it actually has a little tingly sensation to it. They all have a underlying, they have four flavors, strawberry, watermelon, mango chocolate, but it has an underlying minty feel. So it could just be like, he might just think it's really hot. And you just gave him oral sex and it tasted like a milkshake. It's a win-win. So check out mask sexual flavors. Just click on my website. You can just click on the mask banner. You've tasted them

They're awesome. Yeah, it tastes like you know one of those one of those Mint trips or whatever they they're called I forget Exactly. Yeah, just like that. I am and I have to say that you know, of course I've used them because like I like steaming like I don't know I don't but I wanted us to see him. Like is that minty thing true? And is it really going to taste good?

And my partner, this is a while ago, could feel the tingle of the minty, like remember, remember Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton and the Altoid? Yeah. Do you remember that? Yes. So people who don't remember this, when, when Bill Clinton, when he was president, he had a fair with Monica Lewinsky and intern in the

White House. There was it was all were very well documented and he was impeached. Okay. So one of the things they did was while she was performing all sex and then she put an altoid in her mouth and sucked on his penis.

And apparently it felt really great. Have you had a woman do that to you? Yeah. It feels amazing. Right. So these strips have that same kind of minty thing, or you can also use an alphotoid. It's true, right? Yeah, and do you know what else? Awesome.

It's mint condoms are pretty awesome. Like, look into those. Yes, mint condoms. Really cool. Really? That's really cool. Yeah, I've heard about those. There's so many cool condoms on the market and everything like that. Okay, okay. Then what's up? Okay, this is sorry. This is why I got distracted because I started thinking about something that I heard the other day. And maybe it's kind of in the same realm, all right? And even you've been talking about this show on the show for years. So on the Howard Stern show the other day, I listen every single day

on Series XM, pick it up, you have to listen to it, Howard 100. How do you, can I just ask how you listen to it, do you have one in your car? I have it in my car, so I listen to it on the way to work, and then I also listen to it on my desktop, I have a login to listen online. All right, okay, got it. Go ahead. So I was listening. They had a doctor on and he said, all right, don't get mad at me. This is a doctor who said that when women squirt, it's actually urine. And you've been said.

It is not urine. So this is what I want you to do. You're gonna hang out with Dr. Drew later. Maybe soon. Yes. I want you to ask him if this is true or not true. There have been so many, I'm who was this quack doctor on the power start?

It's different. It's not when we're gonna get upset. I knew we're gonna get upset. I knew we're gonna get upset. So man man get your What is it your mass strips because apparently it's urine front not what this talk and let me tell you women it's it's their g-spot women can learn to squirt It is not urine. He's completely wrong. Of course that what is it?

Someone on the show that what is it is different? It's different fluids that come out of a What fluid that have a completely do it's it's um I will tell you exactly I will tell you tell me Oh, and let me tell you this first of all the women Guys think that when a when a woman ejaculates during sex that it means that she's having an orgasm It doesn't necessarily mean that she can ejaculate, she can ejaculate and not have an actual orgasm. Yeah, of course.

Basically, it comes, it's from the female urethra during or before an orgasm. And it's considered to be a different phenomenon, the exact source and nature of the fluid continues to be a topic of debate among professionals, but they also doubt that the G-spot exists, and I'm sorry to say that it really does. And it does exist. It is not urine, it is, it is, they've studied the fluid, and it is, it's fluid from there, it's like when they're sexually aroused, try to find this exact term for it so I don't

butcher this but it is I'm telling you it's um hold on. I it's a different phenomenon it's a clear fluid it's it's it's diluted fluid it from the it's there's nothing to do with urine, okay? It's a tears from other men What is it tears for men? Is it tears for men? Yeah tears from men. Yeah, yeah from other men. No No, they're wrong. It's different. It's clear fluid But I know that people argue about it, but I'm telling you that it is not just listen to me and men This is something that I have to tell you. What?

Is that I became a doctor yesterday, menace. Congratulations. So, I have to. Thank you. I am now doctor Emily, and I want you to know that, yeah, menace has been encouraging me all along. It's taken me a few years.

I finally graduated. I have a doctor of human sexuality. I'm so happy for you, Emily. You know, I've been, I've been pushing me a few years. I finally graduated. I have a doctor of human sexuality. I'm so happy for you, Emily. You know, I've been pushing for so many years for you to get that done. I know it's going to do so much for you. It's going to take you to new heights. Thank you. It feels really good.

It took me many years and I couldn't have done any of this without you, Menace, because I really started sex with them. We like on my own, just interviewing people in my living room almost 10 years ago about sex when I was just a newbie and then I read every book and studied and so yeah, I'm very excited and I will have more information on that soon. So here's one more thing about female ejaculation. Okay, it is not urine. It's actually near the exact minus the sperm chemical chemical construction as prosthetic fluid, which is the met and prosthetic

fluid, which is the male fluid. You may be thinking, but women don't have prostate, which isn't true. So there is a female prostate and that's where it comes from and women can learn to play with their G-spot or a man can play with the woman's G-spot and she can learn to score it and we should do a show on that again like we have in the past because people really like talking about squirting, except for people on Howard Stern. I don't like this guy on Howard Stern. Oh, but I am. Oh, oh my god. I have another thing to announce. Okay. I feel so like I'm sorry everyone, but I'm really excited because like I've been

doing this show like if you're just starting to list like because we're getting new listeners every day This has been like my life for 10 years just because I'm so passionate about helping people have better sex and relationships And I'm infinitely interested in it and I always bring on gas and I've got menist and we answer emails blah blah blah well, I am launching a product line in July I am launching a product line in July that I am so excited about that I'm about to lose my mind and the splash pages up. It's called Emily and Tony.com. Emily and D. Tony.com and put in your email address. We'll let you know when the products come out in July.

It's a friggin' the best personal lubricant you've ever used, a massage candle, and get this, a ball lotion for men so you will no longer sweat down there again. Oh yeah. So men sweat, men have sweaty balls, apparently, and they are very self-conscious about it. So they put a talkam powder on their balls. This is a mistake. Talkam powder makes you itch. We created a very special formula that turns a cream to a powder and it smells delicious and you never have to worry if a woman wants to go down on you that you stink down there

because you used emelene tonies down under lotion. Oh my god. I'm going to need some of that. Do you believe it's coming out after all these years? I can't believe it. You're a doctor and you have your own cream. What the hell? Everything's like really, everything's really happening.

I don't people. Okay, hey Emily, I've been listening to your show and I love it. I think I am your unique Brazilian listener, at least the one I know sending you messages. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for over three years, but our sexual life is frustrating. The thing is, I can't make her come with penetration. She has to combine masturbation with slow penetration to achieve it. I feel terrible for that, although she

says she likes it. The problem is the other girls I had didn't have this problem. We had what I consider to be a normal sexual relation. You know penetration and coming. I'm really patient and I don't rush. I really enjoy foreplay and I like giving girls some time to turn on. He means foreplay. I really don't know what I should do. I am her first man, so I think that could be the reason. Okay, so thank you so much for writing. This is the deal. Okay, most women. I'm here to tell you my new Brazilian listener, women can't or most women and I'm talking 70% of women cannot orgasm from penetration alone. They need require clitoral stimulation, which is why slow sex while masturbating works

for her. It doesn't mean, it just means that your penis, there is no way in heck that your penis can penetrate her inside and rub her clitoris in just the right way. There's many positions, it helps to use lubricant. There are some ways to make it easier, but typically women need to masturbate on their own. They need to be touching their clitoris

while they're being penetrated by a man, while they're having sex. You should not feel bad about this for a second. It's the way that's the way our bodies fit together. And I love that your partner, even though it's her first time, she knows how to make herself orgasm and she's touching herself. A lot of guys find that really hot and not frustrating. She's helping you get herself there. She knows her body. Like I would say this is a win-win If you guys have never used a sex toy again

You could try the Lilo NIA NEA great pick if you want something small discrete and quiet that she can hold over that you or she can hold over her clitoris Use cute go to good vibes.com use cute. B code, gvmly20 for 20% off orders. Or just try like a 20, but it sounds like her fingers are great. But what I don't understand is there's still this feeling that men think frustrated. They're just frustrated that a woman can't orgasm with their penis alone.

And I just feel like I need to start a national campaign, an international campaign, to let every man know friggin chill. A woman is psyched if she can get herself to orgasm, she doesn't care if it's your penis, or her a vibrator, or her finger, or your finger. We're just happy that we orgasm. It's like no such thing as bad pizza, you know, same thing. Don't be uptight about it. Do you agree, Minister, if you felt that frustration before? Uh, no. As long as I get the job done, I'm happy, but Jesus is so much work for a guy. So much work. I know. I know. I know. I feel bad. I understand. If you need an electric shock, a shocker or a stun gun to get it done, just do it. Don't worry about it. Or go to go to go to

sexwithfamily.com, enter your email address. I will send you the either you choose if you're a male or a female, and I'll send you the five biggest mistakes you're making in bed because you could be making one of those mistakes as well. But, as far as women, orgasming and penetration, all that stuff, it's really they need, they friggin need extra stimulation sometimes. Right, men? Don't you have a lot of women who need that that you're with?

To have what they need extra stimulation. Yeah, beside your penis, not that your penis doesn't rock because I'm sure it's amazing. It's the magic stick as 50 cent would say, I don't know. I know I wanted as easy as possible for me. I don't want to have to do actual work. But if the actual work needs to be done, then guys, you just gotta do it, you know? Just gotta do it.

Oh, you make it so hard for us. Why can't you just be as easy as us, you know? Five minutes, five minutes a day. This is what I've been trying to tell you for 10 years. I know, oh, I had a listener just the other day tweet me and say, that my famous quote that I always come up with is,

women are the Rubik's cube of life. Yeah, you're so true. The giants are the Rubik's cube of life. And I wish I was like Justin Bieber because that guy can solve a Rubik's cube within three minutes. He can. Yeah. When he's smoking weed on a segue. I don't know, but I wish I wish I was him.

I've seen you could learn that, man. Dude, Selena Gomez is so hot lately. Have you seen photos of her amazing? No. Yes. Amazingly hot. hotter than usual. Extra, extra hot. I think she's making it extra Extra hot. What do you think?

I got older. She's not. She's got like bigger boobs and she's like posing and bikinis all the time now. Yeah, well, because Justin dumped her. So she wants a she, I don't know. No, she's getting older. It's fine. Yeah. She's hot. You're right. She's hot. That's cool. I'm like lots of hot chicks in LA. I'm telling you LA lots of hot chicks my dog gets more attention than I do like I said, but I'm fine with that Um, okay, should we move on to the topic? Yes, the day which is um We're talking about the resurfacing guy or girl the one you went out a couple dates with and fell off the face of the earth Only to start texting you.

I don't know where, just a few weeks are moving a few months later. What is their deal and why would someone behave like this? And it seems like that this is becoming like I think with text messaging, it's made a lot easier because no one wants to talk on the phone. And my theory is that, and this isn't again, this is a stereotype, but I grew wants to talk on the phone. And my theory is that, and this isn't, again, this is a stereotype, but I grew up obsessed with the phone. I was on the phone, my phone was attached to my head from age like 10 to now.

I'm always on the phone. Men, not as much, I think. Right, men is too left talking on the phone. I like talking on the phone better than texting, but that's because I'm a crappy speller. But lots of guys, you're crappy spoiler, right? But lots of guys are like, I'm gonna shoot out 10, you know, different texts. So this is why I think guys, first of all, what is the deal and why are guys? I'm gonna say guys, but women are doing it too, just because it's easier than

saying he's she every second. Why does the guy behave like this? I think it's because he's most likely cycling through a bevy of phone numbers and texting several women at once so he has options to choose from. That's what I think. I think he's not ready to commit. It doesn't mean that he didn't like having sat to three weeks ago. It just means that, or maybe he's really busy with work. All of that, whatever the excuse is, he's just not that into you. And I think that's always the bottom line. He can't be that into you now.

He's into you as much as he can be, but he's distracted by work, other women, whatever it is. But you should pay attention to this guy, because he's sending you messages, and women think, oh no, I'll see you in one more time, and then he'll text me every day. Not going to happen. I think a part of this phenomenon is like the bigger, better deal with so many ways to

meet someone through social media, dating sites, whatever, that there are many more options than ever. And people feel they don't have to choose just one person because it'll always be a bigger better deal around the corner. What do you think about that? I don't know. What I think is, yeah, there's so much access to other people now back in the day. You know, you couldn't really meet that many people that easily.

And I think people that have arguments these days, and they automatically, instead of fixing whatever problem that they have, they start texting or hitting other people up on social media, not that they, not like they're gonna immediately go run off with this person, but they get some gratification that they can hang out with somebody else without having any drama.

Do you? Yeah, exactly. That's true too. They could just keep, yeah, like, just like, oh, this girl is giving me so much crap right now. Let me just text this hot chick that I know and flirt with her. And it feels better than dealing with, you know, the girl that's giving me a bunch of problems and pissing me off, you know.

Let me just have a good time with this girl. It doesn't mean I'm going to go sleep with them, but it at least takes my mind off dealing with the drama at the moment. Yeah, that's two two. That's great to have a distraction. Yeah, but. This will be perfect.

Guess what? But you're on the problems with everyone. Yeah, but then you're, let's flip it and you're on the other side of receiving that text. You don't know what's going on in this person's personal life. And then you just feel like, oh wow,

this person must be interested in me. They're just sending me up out of the blue, you know? And if you're a guy, you know, women have problems with their boyfriend every other freaking minute of every other day. And so you might be receiving a lot of messages that are just like, there's really nothing behind it. Yeah, I don't know.

I think also it just bottom line is that he's showing you that he's not interested in starting a relationship. He wants to keep you maybe on the back burner or maybe he was dating someone else and we're got bottom line he doesn't want to start a relationship. Okay, so it seems like this phenomenon is taking place during text messages because like I said and I believe again that the invention of text messages messaging made it easier for men. They can shoot out the same friggin text to 10 women.

A flirty text, well-craft and just see who answers. Okay, tonight I want to hook up with someone. I'm going to text five women or whatever it is. Like they just spread their you know words like men spread their seeds they're just spreading their text message to see if they can get laid. So I think also a woman who wants to know how to handle the resurfacing guy is their way to come out on top of the situation without falling into his trap. So I would say if a woman is looking for something casual and you really are looking for something casual Then you might like the resurfacing guy. I personally I've been the resurfacing girl I've gone through stages of my life where I wanted just to friends with benefits relationship with a few people and You might be okay with it. So mr. In and out shouldn't you shouldn't have high expectations for him the fact that he's resurfacing Should be every sign that a woman needs to make her decision.

He's clearly demonstrating through his behavior, he isn't looking for something serious, because if he was, he would have made... This is the bottom... This is the other, but I keep saying that, the bottom line. But this is the truth, Manus, and you can say this as a man, and I can say this as a woman that if I like someone, I don't care how goddamn busy I am, I have time to see them. I have time to make a phone call. I have time to see them in my busy, crazy life.

You just do. I think you've got extra time on your hands because I don't. What? I think you have extra time on your hands because I don't. But menace, that's a choice. You're choosing. You've been choosing for all these years to choose your work over intimacy. Yeah, because intimacy doesn't pay the bills, honey. Dollars, dollars don't fall from the sky. I'm a guy. It's harder. I don't have girls that take me out and give me free dinner. You know what I'm saying? I understand menace, but I also think that first of all, can we congratulate you on being debt free?

Thank you. Thank you. I saw your tweet and I was so happy. Oh, follow menace everywhere on the planet at menace, MENAC, right? Yes. What's your website? It's the best website. It's the best website.

I don't really use it. My thing is Twitter. Okay, menace Instagram. And men is on Twitter Okay, so anyway men is I saw that and I was so proud of you that you paid off Like your school that you've been you're you are the hardest working man in show business Men is when I met him was sleeping at the radio station Literally sleeping at the radio station and top of his backpack because he was homeless and he has achieved so much

Thank you. No, I like almost I almost like I did tear my eye when I read that. So what I'm saying is men is you do of the money that you can maybe consider slowing down a little bit with work and putting more effort into your relationships to see if you actually like intimacy. Yeah, but I mean, okay. What? You're not going to go there now. We don't want to do the menist therapy session. What's your not going to go there now? We don't want to do the men's therapy session. No, no, no, this is this thing. I, well, I was trying to flip it on you because you work just as much and you, you put work. I mean, you definitely have time. You definitely have time to go have sex and like hook up with people and hang out with people, but you never really ever put somebody before work in work in your brand and stuff like that.

So why are you giving me crowds? That's true. Well, I've been re-evaluating it and I not saying that it's this particular person, but I've been doing this, working my butt off and I think that a lot of us use workaholism or addiction or whatever it is in life to kind of numb us and distract us from really feeling things. We think we have, do we think we have to, but I think I'm getting better at it and I'm happy and I feel like I'm getting more open but I'm not there yet. I'm just as guilty as you total workaholic that I feel like I use to avoid myself from getting into

relationships, but I think I'm just at least the first step is recognizing it. Menace. And then seeing if you do have time for relationships because you don't want to be 90 and be like, but I'm still working all the time. Right? Okay, menace, we got to wrap it up. Okay. I want to tell everyone that I love you all.

Go to my website and sexwithelme.com. Put in your email address. Get the free report on the mistakes you're making in bed and lots of other cool free stuff will be sending you. to Thank you.