Sex With Emily - SWE: CAT position & doggie style

Episode Date: March 16, 2012

Emily shares the biggest sexting mistakes guy makes and whether you are a doggie style person or a CAT person. CAT position is all about clitoral stimulation in Missionary Position, whereas doggie style is more rough and animalistic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Emily You got a boy, because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way?

What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm on film. I'm on film. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where your sex life will improve just by visiting the site. This is our free Friday show. We're on series XM 165 Extreme Talk. We love being on series XM Super Fought on Fridays. And it's a free Friday show for all. As you know, we do three shows a week.

If you want to become a friend with Ben if it's a member, we would totally appreciate your support of the site. You can figure all that out and you can follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily. Hi, Menace. Hi, how you doing today? Happy Friday.

Happy Friday indeed. It's awesome. I'm just figuring out our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our, our It is? Yeah, did you do anything? And I'm Irish? I didn't even know that. Yeah, you don't know. It's crazy. I know, I thought you would be like, I thought you'd be like prepping for weeks. I don't know, the area that I grew up in, I was the only white kid, all my friends from Mexican.

So, Sinko de Mayo is actually a bigger celebration for me than the... Oh, that's right, we put on that drunk last year and Sinko de Mayo. Yeah, I have a, I might have a, Oh, tell me a video of that night. No, no, no, not a video of that night. I might have a party on saying it to my wife

that I have to do in San Jose, California. Oh, so I'm not gonna go. I was talking about that today. I don't want to go to San Jose, but let's do it again. Like at an annual I want to go out. We went to Mexican place. No, that's a lot of, it was a lot of fun.

But which is rare for me. I just just I really want to do a party in San Jose. I feel that's where the core. I know that's where your heart is of my being is in San Jose, even though I've never actually lived there, but I just have so much love. I know you love it there. Why do you move there already? It's like Vegas for me for some reason. I know that's so funny. I wish you were coming to Vegas with us when we go to the end of the month, so anyway, we're also gonna be there. We'll be there the 26th to the 28th for conference. Well, I wasn't really invited until I invited myself. You're invited, but it's a Monday through Tuesday Wednesday. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I didn't know if he wanna come.

Yeah, I can't do that. But I wanna do the fun. You purposely do that all the time. Oh, I really wanna invite you to this party at my house, but it's during the weekend. You think my entire life should revolve around your laymas? No, but I'm just, but you know, it's during the week. You think my entire life should revolve on your lame schedule, because you get up at 3 a.m.?

I'm just saying, you know, who has been by your side for many years? You. Supporting you, you know, making sure the show keeps on going. You got fans on week-up. Maybe you can just play in one F and party on a Friday. Maybe.

Where I'm available. That's all I'm saying. I got it. I'll play in a party on a Friday. And maybe a Vegas trip on the weekend where I'm available. That's all I'm saying. I got it. I'll plan a party on a Friday. And maybe a Vegas trip on the weekend when I could go. Okay. Maybe to sell that out there. We're gonna do our wasted Vegas party soon.

We'll read a lot about alcohol and do the show. This'll be on a Tuesday. Excess, so no, honey, sorry. This is an ILS conference, International lingerie show. We're going to talk to some sponsors, lingerundry, Sex Toys, all that stuff. Today's show, we're going to be talking about the top sex positions. What you need to know about and why you should do them. No, that's not an a list.

The top sex positions that you can actually do, that you should do and why you should do them, and we're going to explain how to do it. And also texting mistakes you might be making. Some texting, etiquette, some text debt, etiquette. I mean, DTF is like not the first thing you might be making. Some texting, etiquette, some text that etiquette. I mean, DTF is like, not the first thing you should send them. No, not everyone knows what DTF do they? Oh, is it from Jersey Shore? Yeah, but everyone knows DTF.

Oh, I don't know. I didn't know until you brought it in. DTF? No. You don't know what it is. Now I do, what I did before. Oh, okay. I didn't before.

They put it in the mainstream, but DTF has been out there for a while. Okay. Yeah, I get it. They're the mainstream. Or UDTF. Who isn't DTF at some point? Um, yeah, but in the text message, I don't know if it works that much, especially at 3am. Are you DTF?

I delete. I delete. We've got some good things. You should say some bad things you should say and some things things you should say, and some things you shouldn't do. For example, I have a friend, this is a story that just came up, she called me and she's really worried because she just had sex with a guy for the first time the other night. And they didn't have the birth control talk. We just did a show on a ejaculation etiquette this week which you, which should totally

listen to. But not only did he not ask her if she was using birth control, he just stuck it in for like three pumps and then pulled out and then you put a condom on and she's like, dude, you could have a disease. I give you pregnant. Like, why do you guys just stick it in without protection? I know it feels so good. I know you can't help yourself, but it's not smart.

Well, because I don't mean to be Debbie Downer here on the protection, but... Condoms are for punks, that's why. No, menist don't say things like that. He believed you. I know morons believe me. Yeah, don't believe menist when he says dumb things. I say to be funny. He knows they're dumb and he's trying to be funny with quotes. Okay. Condoms are not for punks. No, you should not just take it in with a woman unless you want to be paying child support for the next 18 years, I'd say you don't do the pump-in, pump-out.

Unless she's like, she's really good-looking. Unless she's super hot. But he was totally distressed. She was totally distressed by it because she's like, what if I have a disease? She's young, so whatever. But you gotta be careful. You can't just stick it in.

No. And then today's show is actually brought to you by Good Vibrations. If you use Cubanko GV-M-L-E-15, you get 15% off purchases at good vibes. That's good vibes. They've got lots of good vibes going on. They just have the 35-year anniversary in San Francisco.

They had some crazy party in San Francisco to the night. I was just to go, but I couldn't go on Saturday night. But you could buy any sex toy lingerie. You could buy, I mean, you could buy, not lingerie, but sex toys. And you could buy DVDs. Like, if you want to buy porn for each other, porn for couples, porn for women, they'd have the best products. So it's GVM-L15 at Good Vibes for discount.

Did anyone use the vibrators from the vibrator museum on the anniversary? I don't know if they did, because they have a vibrator museum at Good Vibes in San Francisco. Yeah, they have like crazy looking antique vibrators that look like hair dryers that people or like drills Right, they would use it. Yeah

Yeah, they've been taking it. It's pretty cool. It's crazy. I don't understand how women even use that back then Yeah, it's like early 1900s Well, I know and like a psychiatrist used to like penetrate their patients and stuff Yeah, just for fun. Just for fun. For fun. I've done your ear laying down on my table naked. Yeah, and so we've got a little bit of a sex in the news today. Unless you, what are you gonna do this weekend? Anything good?

Besides, I don't know. Same Patrick's Day, you're not gonna do. I'm not a big go out drinker, beer check. I know, I committed myself. I'm probably gonna go out because now that you told me, and I'm Irish, it's, it's man to talk. I'm glad I brought it up. But I committed to go buy some Girl Scout cookies

that's like an hour away. Oh, I just did that too. How much does it cost? I went to see my, I do know that I drove over to Marin County over the Golden Gate Bridge to buy 10 boxes of Girl Scout cookies from my goddaughter because she emailed me and she's eight and she's like, I love you when you buy Girl's Huggies.

They just like, they sucker you in. They sucker like I know. They suck your life, I know. So it's a young girl. Can't she mail them to you or can't they come visit you? You're gonna dry schlep out to the East Bay and advice. Yeah, but it's my old hometown, it's fine. I'm gonna do that.

Okay, you can do that. Yeah, and the Girl's Huggies. That sounds fun, Girl's Huggies. They've been around for a hundred years now. I know, I still Girl's Huggies, Girl's Hugg. I know I sold Girl Scouts cookies, Girl Scouts cookies, but I got kicked out of Girl Scouts. Oh, really? For what?

Because I was in third grade and I was talking too much. Is that a shock? Yeah, I kept talking. I keep talking. If you talk one more time, you're out and I was out. I could have gone back, but I didn't want to go back. I've got to get kicked out. 86th from the Girl Scouts.

Yeah, from the Girl Scouts. I thought you were going to do something sluddy or something. And when I was eight, no. And I didn't even get to sell the Girl Scout cookies. I didn't get to do anything. And I, and I, she's like, you're dismissed. Don't come back next week. And then I was like, I don't want to go back to that place.

They won't let me talk. So that's why I do this for a living because you all let me talk. And I got good things to say. Maybe not in Girl Scouts, but I, you know. That's an amazing thing. I know who gets kicked out of Girl Scouts. I have never met that person until I know. I know.

So it's not my thing, but I still support them with the Girl Scouts. But we had way too many in the office and we ate them all and we were all kind of sick. But check this out. I went to one Boy Scouts meeting and then I knew I was like, oh, that's so funny. I was like, this is wack. I cannot see you in the Boy Scouts, but I'd love to see you in the uniform. It's funny because I have friends that are like, Eagle Scouts, you know, the highest ranking.

You do? Still? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, they like take young boys. No, they just, you get certified as like, I don't know, you get a special card in everything. I don't know. No, no, no, I don't know. I'd wonder if you need to go scout. I don't know, but it's good on your resume.

To be in Eagle Scout. Yeah, I guess it shows you responsibility and staying power in some ways. Good for college and stuff, I don't know. I don't know if I'm gonna get on your resume. To be an Enigil Scout. Yeah, I guess it shows you responsibility and staying power in some ways. Yeah, I guess it's good for college and stuff. I don't know. I don't know. When you're like graduate from college and you need everything in your resume that you can get, that's what you might do. Yeah.

Okay, I've got a little bit sex in the news. Do you get any good celebrity stuff going on today? Good celebrity. I know somebody just, I got a message that somebody just had a break up after 11 years. It was Kate. No. Damn, it's all right. It's okay. A Jenny Garth. Oh, yeah, from 902. Well, no. Yeah, and Peter, whatever, uh, split after 11 years. Oh, wow. They've got kids. So that's full is going to be paying so much money in California for three kids.

Yeah, it's true. 11 years is a good run. That's about right. 11 years. Yeah, I think it's good for people who are together for life, but I think 11 years is in Hollywood, that's not bad. Why? Why are you just saying, oh, that's all good. But I just, I don't know.

Three kids together. I feel bad for those kids, because they're gonna be in serious therapy like all of us are kids' forms. Why do you think marriage is all they have great runs? I don't. I just know because you know why? You never, you're never like that. Because people are so hard on themselves when they go through breakups and they go through divorce.

They think it's the worst thing in the world and they failed. And I don't believe that any relationship is a failure. I believe that relationships are a work in progress that you learn from every relationship. You're in it for a reason for a time. You meet that person. They come into your life for a reason, but sometimes it just doesn't work and it's time to move on. I don't see it as a failure. Would a life for a relationship be better?

Of course, that's amazing. People bring together for 80 years. I salute them. My hat goes off to them. But 11 years, pretty good. Don't be mad. Don't be yourself up. Didn't work.

My grandparents. Hard for the kids though, because you know, look at me, we're both products of divorce and look at us. My grandparents have been married over 60 plus years. That's amazing. Crazy. Are they happy? Yeah. They're happy. How fun do you see them?

Never. Once over. Where do they live in Reno? Oh, you go. You go to Reno. Is it your grandparents? I did. I did. I did. Recently. No too long. They'd be so happy to see you do they love you

No, why because about Eight or nine years ago. I was on a morning show and they did a morning prank on them Oh, I'm prank called them pretending to be me and they'd like totally believe that it was me Oh, it was so bad. That's me. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset.

And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset.

And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. And they got really upset. My other grandmother would have thought it was funny. Right, well you call the wrong grandmother.

We call the wrong grandparents. And she's still mad at you all these years? Oh my God, they didn't talk to me for a couple of years. Oh my God. Yeah. Well, you gotta be careful who you're pranking. You can prank me, I wouldn't care. But you know what, it's my grandparents,

they should just get over it and still love it. They should, you're their little baby. They don't mean to be close to you. I'm the only boy in the family too. They won't carein' on the name, bitches. I know, that's right. You better bow before me. I know all the boy in the family too. I'm carrying on the name bitches. I know that's right. You better bow before me. I know all the other menaces that you're going to create the little little things. Yeah, all the other ones are it's all chicks. No one to carry on. I know. I'm here to carry on the name. Do you know that my name's going to die?

Because there's three nieces. I have three nieces and then myself and I'll leave one brother. Our name's going to die more scone. You gotta tell your brother to get working on that. Another kid? Yeah. I think they're done and done. Really? Yeah, done. Let's call him right now.

I love that guy. You do? Yeah. Oh my god, should we call him? Yeah. Okay. Wait, let me, let me fund the Skype. Oh my god, he will be hilarious.

Okay, let me do it. Then you got to, you got to, I love my phone. I love talking, brother. Your brother's so much fun. I know. Don't you think he's the best? He's hilarious. He's hilarious. One needs to get to come visit again.

Hopefully in a few months. That'd be good. All right. You're texting him. So if anyone that's listening right now, Emily has a brother who's back in Michigan, who's living her normal life. He has three children and he's married.

How long has he been married? 18 years. 18 years? All right, I'm gonna look up his number on your phone. Okay, but how do you find it from the text message? Can you find it? You just up there on the top? Oh.

I love that you know how to do that. It's crazy. All right, I just talked. Are we getting in triumph? Yeah, up there on the top? Oh. I like the contact. I love that you know how to do that. It's crazy. All right. I just talked. Are we gonna try him? Yeah, we're gonna try him right now. Let's see if it works. He's gonna say something about me.

We can talk to him about the secrets to a successful marriage because he's been together for 18 years. All right. Let's see if he picks up. He never picks up. Why? I don't know. Because he's in the work I'm Friday, do they?

Maybe he has things to do. I love calling people. We should call my mom after all right He's attached to his phone. He's Friday. He wasn't going on a town He just doesn't want to pick up Michael Morris. Oh, yeah So mean come on, okay. So mean. Come on. Okay. So let's move on to sex in the news.

Maybe we'll try and back later. Okay. Okay. Montreal is the best place to have shower sex. If you read shower sex, you talk about this. Isn't some girl pass out on you? Yeah, I was down in Palm Springs, California. And if you've never been there before, it's like the desert.

It's just extremely hot. Right. And I was having sex with a like the desert. It's just extremely hot. Right. And I was having sex with a girl in the shower and the shower was hot and then I don't know where she just faints on me. I know, because you're that good. I thought I killed her. Yeah, maybe better.

Like seriously. And I would have to go barrier in the desert. That's hilarious. I like, I thought she was joking at first, but then I was like hitting her in the face. You gotta hydrate her before you bang her in the shower. Yeah, like suck up some of the shower water, chick. Like, what the hell?

Well, a survey conducted by the Canadian Institute of Plumbing has found that 60% of Montreal residents are regularly engaging in shower sex. The more conservative prairie provinces of Alberta and Skulls says, sketchy one only choked clocked in around 40%. The survey was conducted to raise level of awareness about water consumption, and while the institute recommends spending less time in the shower, they acknowledge that people having sex in the shower

had other things on their mind. I have got a great chapter in my book called Hot Sacks, which you should all buy, Hot Sacks over 200 things you can try to know, you can buy it in Amazon. And there's a whole chapter on how to have shower sacks successfully, because a lot of you will have it unsuccessfully. Like they do things it's too slippery. They weave like special hand movements and movements different things you can do But I'm just saying if you're in a couple of relationship

Next time she's in the shower. He's in the shower jumping with them. So each other up. It's a it's a hot thing to do Yeah, it's it feels really clean if you're yeah, if you're one of those uptight about smell people It feels really clean. If you're one of those uptight about smell, people, sense people. No, just me, I just don't like to get the sheets and everything dirty, you know. Because you want me to pour like an entire candle into the middle of my bed. Exactly. And who's going to do the sheets? I got to tell you that this, okay, this is what we're talking about.

There's this amazing massage candle by Jimmy Jane. In fact, JimmyJane.com makes beautiful, beautiful sex toys and they have this massage candle, which is a great thing to do. It's a weekend. Go buy one right now. JimmyJane.com. Use coupon code Emily25 for $25 off your purchase. So what the point is, the candles smell amazing.

They're regular candles. They burn cooler than most candles. And you pour it on your lover's body and it turns instantly into misogyoeil. But not drippy sticky misogyoeil. It's like a goes right into your skin misogyoeil and menace me through the under the ear. Can I bring the candle into the shower? Yeah. Now it'll go out. But after the shower, you cut, yeah. You can create a pool of wax and then you can take it in and you give your partner a massage. And it smells amazing and I just think everyone should own one.

Can I pour the candle wax into my hand and throw it at her while she's in the shower? No, you can't. But just put some plastic tarp down on your bed or something. Jesus, just use it. Okay, a new mom porn tops the US best seller charts. If you remember, I've ever wondered what porn. Mom porn.

Okay, so 50 Shades of Grey, the first in a trilogy of explicitly erotic novels by a previously unknown author, has already sold out its first run of paperbacks in the US prompting publishing to order 750,000 new copies in April. A British, she's a British writer whose full name remains a secret, started writing the book as a fan fiction extension of the Twilight series revolving around Belle and Edward. But once it gained popularity amongst middle-aged women, she rewrote the characters and storylines to become a new trilogy.

So I guess it's mom porn, like MILF, so I guess. I don't know. F. that. I'm all about hunger games. Why is everyone talking about hunger games? Hunger games. What is the deal? I've been on it for way before Erdney went

on the other spot. What do you mean you were on it? Like I knew it was going to be like the next Twilight. Okay, well why is it such a big deal? Who's in it? Why is everyone talking about it? Because it is a book, it's a book series. I know.

And everyone's waiting for the movie to come out. And it's, who's in it? Um, who is in it? I don't know. Why, but it to come out and it's who's in it? Who is in it? I don't know. Why, but it did come out already, or it's coming out this weekend. It's coming out this weekend. That's why everyone's going crazy for it.

I've gone to one crazy, I'm just like, I don't even know where it is, but I'm maybe I'll see more in this. I'll probably go see Hunger Games this weekend. Oh really? Let me know if you go. Come, we go to movie on the weekend. Will you go, will you talk through the whole movie?

No, I will not talk to the movie the hunger games people will Kick your ass one time I talked in a movie and men is likes to twice you talked in the Two times really bad movies and I talked I'm sorry, okay I'm sorry. I talked there was bad movies. So what even if hunger games is bad you can't talk through it Okay, I promise I'm just if you could get me a large popcorn I talked there was bad movies. So what even if hunger games is bad, you can't talk through it. Okay, I promise. I'm gonna say, if you could get me a large popcorn. Yes, for me.

You don't have to get it for me, but it'd be nice if you did. I'll give you a few dollars, you can just buy it. Awesome. Okay, a fair-with-college girl kills a 63-year-old newspaper editor, guess how we died. While having sex. Banging her, we had this, we had this in the sex

in the news the other day that it's not a shock, but older men are more likely to die having sex with their mistresses, okay, because they are, you know, trying to prove themselves being virulent and then they have a heart of tax and die. So Robert Caldwell, he's a longtime editor of the Oregonian and a Pulitzer Prize winner died from a heart attack last weekend after having sex with a 23 year old student. He met the guard at Portland Community College several years ago, has been buying her books and other school supplies in exchange for sex. Initially, the organian reported that he had been found dead in his car, but later changed his story when he does emerge

and the student herself began talking to the brass. It's one of those sugar daddy relationships that I should have found that in college. I was weightlifting. So what do you think about small dogs or whatever? Like you want to call them or wait here on the date but don't like be texting to start a whole conversation. Yeah. I'm so tired. Somebody's texting gets exhausting. And I really think that the call is the holy grail. When the guy picks up the phone and calls me, I'm totally fine. Well, you know me on all like writing. So I'm always on the phone. I know. I love the U.S. call, and now we G-Chat. We, yeah, we video chat.

It's so fun. How much do you love that? I love it. I get to see a little pretty face. Thank you. The last and final thing, do you want to guess what men shouldn't do? Ask them at their DTF.

Don't do that, but the winky face. Don't use a modicons. You're not in middle school anymore. Modicons. I love emoticons. Do you not use emoticons? I am guilty of maybe using a modicons. Yeah, you do the smiley face. Because you just you want someone to know that you're joking. There's no other way to do it. You want to be cute. You want to be fun. It's become punctuation. It's fine. I don't think a guy's a pussy if he does a little smiley winky face. Well, maybe his butt just let go. But not because of the emoticon. I swear to God, it was something else. It was something else. It was not the emoticon. So that's what we got for you in today's show. This has been

awesome. I'd be proud of you. I got to talk to your family today. It's Friday. I want people to drink but don't drive. I have a good time. We're here at the Stitcher Studios in San Francisco. If you don't know what Stitcher is, you just download it for your phone. And it's free. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you?

Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. But if you're not doing anything or you have to advertise, you don't necessarily have to be. That's true. You're right. A lot of people I know are not promoting anything and they're just showing vacation

photos and stuff like that. Yeah. My brother says he can't, sorry. Ah. So your brother just texted you. We were trying to get him on the show. We're trying to get him on the show. We're trying to get him on the show.

We should talk to your mother about it then. About staying together, married for a long time. You feel like calling my mom? Well, no, I just want to call her. I want to call her and talk to her about continuing the name, the Morris name. I know, you're right, you're right, you're right, okay. Well, you want her number shall answer.

Okay, we'll call her. Maybe. Why is your family, they don't want to talk to you today? Tap on. I don't know because I feel like, I don't know, my mom, we can ask her about caring on the family name, but she's, oh, she's not, she's not a mom.

She's a morse, she's a morse, but she just feels like, what? I don't think she cares that much, she's gonna, you know. She doesn't care. No, but I kind of want to care the name. So if I have kids, can I, well, if your husband's a pussy and he'd be like, oh, yeah, of course.

That sucks. I never thought my family names would have died. Bobby Christina. Hello. Hi, I'm Jessica. I used to stay on a San Francisco area code. Exactly. What you're on the air right now. I am? Yeah. We're live on the radio show, so don't say anything embarrassing. We had a question for you. I wanted to talk to you.

It's Menace Mom. Hi, Menace. Hi, how you doing today? Good, thanks. Are you busy? No, no, no, I'm just... No, I'm not busy. I'm fine.

You're eating. Okay. I just wanted to know, do you want her brother to have a boy to continue the Morris name? I've never thought about it. Do you think... I think you should have a boy. Do the Morris name. I've never thought about it. Do you think I think you should have a boy? Do you think you should have another kid? I think physically it's impossible. Really?

Oh, yeah, maybe he did something. No, oh, did he? I think so. Okay, what about? Okay, let's flip it on Emily then. You think I should have a boy mom just to carry on the name Although it wouldn't be my name would be the guys Yeah, she doesn't care

She doesn't really out the matter to me. I don't think that's any reason to have a child or not have a child Okay, mom, I was just gonna get pregnant over the weekend. Yeah, but Emily was planning on getting pregnant over the weekend Yeah, just to how about. No, just kidding. What would you think about? Do you want Emily to have children? You know what? It's up to whether Emily wants to have children. It's not up to you know what I don't think about it.

I really don't. Between you and me, she's not in the room anymore. You do. Do you want? Do you want her to have a kid? I know. I don't care. I really don't care. Why are you supporting, why?

I really want her to have children. If she wanted to have children, then she felt like it was fitting into her lifestyle. It would never be very easy. My child is sex with Emily. Why are you supporting her lifestyle? Oh, stop it, menace. Mom, nothing's right for me.

I want her to find fulfillment of be happy wherever she's at. Her life, it's her life, not my life. Oh, man. See, my mom is very rational. She's like, she gave up on you a long time ago. No, she didn't give up on me. Mom, so what's the secret to giving up? I think Emily looked her life on her own terms.

And that's how she's fulfilled. And she's happy then that's all I ask for. Exactly. I don't have, I would honestly let us, I don't have expectations on what my kids should do and shouldn't do. I don't let their lives to please me. That avoids a lot of arguments. Exactly.

We never fight, right mom? Mom, before we go, do you have any good secrets to your youth and married a really long time and you, I'm wondering what's the number one thing that keeps it together? That why you think you're still together after all these years? Because we were talking about how there was a relationship, some celebrity's getting divorced up for 11 years. I'm like, well, that's a good run. Like, I don't think it's negative, and it's a failure.

But you've been married for, you've been together like 30 some years. 17 years, but we've been together 27 years. Right. Okay, so Mom, what's what's the secret to your success? You know what? I think we still really enjoy each other's company. Right. And we play well together and we're really independent.

We give each other total space. That is so important. Do you take separations? Yes. All the time. Wow. Yeah. So crazy.

I think that's great mom separations. She's so smart. That's so smart. That's the key to life is that of course we were all thrown up a wing at each other, but you know what? We don't tell each other what to do or how to spend our money or we're just, you know, we'll risk Emily have a lot of respect for each other. I heard you have to bury your best friend. That's where everyone says you got to marry your best friend. That's where everyone says you got to marry your best friend. You have to, you want to tell Emily and I really, really, you have to really like to hang out together. Right. You know, go to the mall together, go to Target together. You know, I mean, and, and also have other friends.

It's really important for them to have girlfriends and that depends there has been to fulfill all the needs. But I don't trust those girlfriends. I don't trust those girlfriends. They give bad advice. Menace, that's bad. Mom, I think you're right. I, I, he's so not true. Menace, dated someone. I do poke him.

I do poke him. I do poke him. I do poke him. I do poke him. I do poke him. I do poke him. Mom, but don't you think it's true also? And what we talked about this earlier in the week on another show that we did is that if you are dating someone,

it's such a red flag, either if you're dating a man or a woman, and if they have no friends, red flag. I think that's a red flag. You've no friends. I don't want a dating boy that doesn't have friends. I know, it's a really bad thing. I don't trust their friends. Oh, that menace, don't say that.

What? Because we actually got an angry email about that. Oh my God, people take me so seriously. I know. We're getting some angry emails. You know what? Because it's true, but you're not because they just they don't realize you're kidding. Oh my God. Okay. Do you realize that I'm kidding? Yeah. I know you're kidding, honey, because I know you. And most people don't. They think you don't like women. No, I'm asking your mother. Oh, mom. Do you think men is kidding? Do you think that I'm kidding when I say things? Or do you think I'm dead serious?

I don't know All right, she's listening to us lately. Okay, mom happy Friday. We love you. I talk to you. Bye. I know what's almost Friday. It's Friday Okay, bye come visit come visit. Okay. you, mean. All right. Bye. I like when she's in studio. I know my mom's awesome in studio and my brother was awesome. I can't wait till we release that show. Yeah. Okay.

That was a little side track into the Emily land. I know, but she still had some good advice. My mom has good advice, but it is true that the people without friends are a nightmare. So that's just a good tip from this week. I've got some emails. All right. From the people. We can come from the people. So everyone you can email us feedback at sexwithemily.com. We answer all your emails, especially if you're friends with benefits member, your emails

go right to the top. I'm your personal sex therapist and answer all the questions that you need to know. Answer, give you the answers you need to know. It's Friday, everybody. We're drunk. It's Friday. I wish we were drunk. Next Friday. Okay, this is about lasting longer. Emily, I came across your website and iTunes and iTunes application by coincidence, but you can't imagine how much I loved it. I listened to your free show on Friday and then immediately signed in and became a member. A friend with benefits member. Thank you. I'm a guy in late 20s and currently don't have a girlfriend, so I often have sex with S-scorts on call visits

for like an hour. Previously, I used to have sex once a month, but in the past couple of weeks, I'm feeling that I need to have it every two weeks. I'm not sure if there's something wrong with my health or body. Also, when I have sex, I normally have normal erections, but the problem is the first shot I usually

ejaculate quickly like in three minutes. I usually fear for the doggy style, so the first shot I usually ejaculate quickly in three minutes. I usually favor the doggy style, so in order to delay the ejaculation, do I need to change the position or see a doctor, for example? Thanks, that's from Hachau, Aize in New York, he's a premium friend of the benefits member you can be one too. Okay, so here's a deal. You can always see a doctor. I think it's great for men.

I don't know how old you are, but you're in your late 20s. I think it's great for men to always go for checkups if you're concerned about it, but I do think that premature ejaculation is a big psychological issue for men. And a lot of times it's in your mind you thought, oh, last time I came quickly, this time when you came quickly. And I think that you just need to focus on the sensations and the feeling in your body and you have to practice. You can do your kegel exercises.

They help men stay harder longer. If you want to, you can download my app called keglet camp in the iTunes Store. It's for men and women. Their exercises that you exercise your PC muscles and I get into this all the time, but it really helps men. Also, there's a book called the Multi-Orgaz McMahon. It's amazing and it also teaches men how to masturbate so you can train your body not to jackulate so quickly.

But I, sure, go for a checkup, do what you need to do, but I wouldn't worry about it. And you're not worried about seeing Escort, so I'm not gonna worry about it. I was just checking this old Escort website to see if it was still around for the people if they visit San Francisco anytime. Lovings.com, it's still around. Oh, which one? For the people if they visit San Francisco anytime. Lovings.com, it's been around forever.

Lovings? Lovings.com. Is that where you go? That's where I go to get my escorts. Do you go to get your hose? My high end. Yeah, that's skirts. It's the high end ones.

I know I should do that. Not the Craigslist ones. That'd be kind of fun. I'd be a good high end, that's work. Because I get a lot of those people have super chatty and good date. Yeah. Good and bad.

A lot of them don't even want to have sex. They just want to have some in here. I'll go with those guys. Yeah. Well, they still buy me shoes good date. Yeah. Good and bad. A lot of them don't even want to have sex. They just want to have some of your health. Oh, those guys. Yeah. Well, they still buy me shoes and stuff. Yeah. Perfect. Done and done.

Okay, the next email we've got is on losing virginity. Dear Emily, I've just recently started having sex. I thought it was supposed to feel wonderful. It feels like nothing to me. Help. One of my doing wrong. Thanks a bunch. Valerie from Destin, Florida. Well, first of

all, I want to say there is nothing wrong. You just started having sex and to be honest, it gets better as you get older. I don't know anyone whose first time was earth shattering, groundbreaking, and amazing because the first time, just like the first few times, or the first few years you have sex, you really don't know what you're doing, but how you can speed up this process and make it more enjoyable is if you really start to focus on your own pleasure. You masturbate, you spend time alone, perhaps you buy a sex toy somewhere, or you just don't need a sex toy, you just masturbate.

Whatever it is, you have to know your body won't make you feel good, because then the next time you have sex, you can move in positions that you know make yourself feel good. So I just think that Valerie that you just haven't done your work yet and what makes yourself feel good. Because that's a women bring to the table when they're having sex. They move in ways that feel good to them. Because guys it feels good in every way. Yeah, they don't care.

They don't care which way you move in. As long as it's in, is it in? Then yeah, but I would just say that you should spend some time committing to yourself once a week or twice a week, you're gonna masturbate, you're gonna figure out your body and figure out what makes you feel good. Now you might already know this, but I still don't think you should be disappointed

that it wasn't great, you're not doing anything wrong, you said, help what am I doing wrong, you're doing nothing wrong, it'll get better. Was it amazing your first time? No. Mine either. No, I don't even remember it, it was like, I remember the moment just being like,

ugh, it's uncomfortable, it hurts, I don't even remember it. It was like, I remember the moment just being like, oh, it's uncomfortable. It hurts. I'm done. I'm hungry. It's nothing like that. And it was over. Yeah.

Okay. And today's show, just coming up, we're going to be talking about the top sex positions and some texting mistakes that you might be making. And you shouldn't make anymore. Okay. This email is about the four agreements. Dear Emily, I found your podcast last weekend.

iTunes. Listen for a couple of hours and that was all I needed to become a yearly friends of benefits member. Your show is like a fantastic breath of fresh air after drowning for so many years. At 32 years of age, I feel very lucky to have found your program.

Thanks so damn much. I'm not trying to promote a book I've been reading. I'm curious if you are listeners have ever heard of the four agreements by Don Miguel Rez With your show in this book my awareness is exponentially increased and I'm Don't damn excited to the days ahead This is from premium friends with benefits member Nick from sacramanow much love he says The four agreements have you ever read the former agreements? No, okay, so the four agreements are very interesting. Is it on DVD?

It's a book. Okay, So you can probably download on Amazon. But it's been around, it's for, you know, I don't know how many years, I've been long, long, long time. It's been around being taught. And there's four agreements that that's all it's about. Is the four agreements you should make yourself for for better, happier, healthier life. And the first one is be impeccable with your word. So everything you say you should have to be careful what you say. These are like four of the things to live by. I know people who study this like, they're therapy. Don't take anything personally.

So never take anything personally. Someone says something. It's usually about their own crap anywhere. Don't make assumptions. Don't assume, don't make assumptions that you know what someone is saying and that you, because we all make assumptions, and a lot of times we assume the negative,

we assume the wrong, it's not true. And also, and so just don't make assumptions about anything, just find out the facts. And then the last one, that number four agreement is always do your best. I like this. Isn't this amazing? Yeah.

I'll send it to you. It's, you should read more about it. So be impeccable with your word, the words that you speak, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions in life and always do your best. And if you always do those things, those are the four agreements of life, you will live a happier life. And Nick, thanks for pointing that out. I always love reviewing that. I think that I almost live all those.

Do you? Yeah. I think you're right. I think that you are, yeah, impeccable with your word, maybe. I think that you don't think that you think things personally. You're pretty good at like just letting things kind of slide. Yeah, I don't care what people say about me. I don't think you assume, you're not a gossiper, you're not assuming someone means something that they don't.

And you work really hard. So I'd say you always do your best. Yeah, just number one, the whole speaking thing just doesn't really come out well. No, but you're impeccable and packable doesn't mean, it just means that you are that you speak the truth. Oh yeah, I keep it real. It doesn't mean being peckable

be particularly articulate or use big words. It means more like just what you say should be what you mean and keep it simple and don't say things you don't mean. Keep it 100. Keep it 100. I've never heard that. I learned so much from you.

Yeah, keep it 100. It's your predictionary. What? The menestictionary. Just laying from you. Yeah, keep it 100 minutes. It's your addiction area. What? The men's addiction area. The slang addiction area. Yeah, I know there already exists online in what apps, but if you did your own, that would be really cool. Yeah, people know what keeping it 100 means.

Keeping it real. Yeah. I get it. I just never say it. Okay, this is about sex drive. Hi, Emily, I'm a 50 year old woman who is engaged to be married for the first time. Oh, it's my brother. Oh, really?

She talked to him. Yeah, Pro and speaker. Hi, Mikey. You're on the air. What's going on? Oh, you can't hear me though. Can we call him back? Yeah, my my good. We're gonna call you Wait, menace can't hear you. We're calling you right back on yourself My, my, my, we're gonna call. Wait, menace can't hear you. We're calling you right back on your cell. Fine.

Alright. That's my bro. And he's amazing. Yeah, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, Do you need his number again? Or do you got it? I need it again. Okay, so we go here and then here.

Just find it in the context. Okay, so I'm 50 year old woman who was engaged to be married for the first time in my life. My fiancee and I have great sex until last year when I had a mesh procedure done and my libido seems to have diminished. I'm very sad because my fiancee feels he's not doing the job for me. Can you help me with any suggestions? Thank you Lisa.

This is about libido issues and we'll go back to it after we get in touch with my brother. Did you call? I didn't call because our computer, okay, I just almost had a mini heart attack. Oh, you thought the computer went down? Yeah, that our computer went down. That would be a bummer. We're talking to the entire family today, my mom, my brother. Well, my brother loves you.

Does your daughter, sister-in-law feel about you? I don't know, you can ask my brother. We're different. We're different. I love her. I love her, but we're different. We're so close, but we're very different. So I don't know what you're doing. Hey, what's up? How are you, man?

When are you coming to San Francisco? Hopefully soon, I really want to come. Yeah, I want you to come hang out. We had so much fun. That was a riot. That was a riot. I was telling Emily, you know, maybe June, but I'd like to do it a little sooner. Yeah, that'd be cool. We really want you to come out and visit again. You came up in the conversation because we're

talking about kids and you got three kids. You got three little girls, right? Correct. And I was talking about carrying on the family name. I suggest that you have one more kid and try to have a boy. What are your thoughts? Well the vasectomy kind of got in the way. You got the vasectomy right? If I didn't have that and I had to get a new wife because my wife doesn't want any more kids. So you think that happened. So Emily might have to have some kids. We have some boys to carry out the name. Yeah, that's what I thought. Like she just married some guy, some pussy that doesn't care about carrying on his name. She has a couple kids and then just has the more a slash name.

Yeah, because the name's going to die, Mikey. Maybe one of my kids will keep their name. I doubt it. They don't seem like a baby. Maybe they will. I would love it, but that's still no one ever does that officially. Some people do it. I just don't have a kid, so who's named you yet? Do you have a dehytonated or a baby? Oh, yeah, that's true.

That's true. Okay, well, there's still hope, or I could have a kid. I don't know. What do you think of Emily's lifestyle? That's kidding. I know, we've talked about it. I know somebody who is trying to have a kid. She's 42 or 43 right now in our second marriage. 34-year-old guy and they're trying to have

a kid as we speak. Oh right now they're having sex. Lots of sex. And how's it going? And turkey basting is going on. Oh all the turkey basting stuff. How's it going with that? Um, I think they did it for the first time. They're working on it. So, okay, she's trying to get pregnant. She wants to have another It's not like your brother's there with a clipboard. I thought he was watching. I just wanted to know. Um, so, okay So do you think Emily's gonna have a kid? Yes or no? Probably if not if he okay now. So do you think Emily is going to have a kid, yes or no? Probably. If not. If he, okay, I was about to say if you had to put Vegas bets on it.

I got a dog and I got a radio show. Oh, the dog is a nightmare. No, the dog is cute. We love the dog. I mean, you know, she married some rich dude in the next few years. Maybe they care about some, you know, some, some, some, some ofamal and rescue. I can have a baby stop. So, um,

some Guatemala and rescue child. She's the marism guy that has kids already. Yeah, then she's not even responsible. She's not going to pay attention to them though, but. Yes, I will. I would never be a bad stepmom because Michael and I had

the worst stepmom's ever, right, Mike? That's true. We would have been a price for that. We would have made it through. Well, we really want you to come visit. I appreciate the call because my voice messages get typed up. So you guys call that for some reason my voice now picked up your conversation to talk about shower sex and whatever. I'm not in transcript on my email. No way. Voice messages. That is so funny. OK, I forgot.

I probably didn't hang up when we called you. That's so funny. I'm glad you called in. Are we glad we got to build a whole review? I'll talk to you later. Hi. Hi. Oh my god.

That's hilarious. It's crazy. He's got like at the beep. We will transcribe your message and you heard us talking about shower sex. Okay, we gotta keep moving here. No way, that's cool. That's cool, isn't it that funny? Yeah, my gosh.

You should get that, the transcription of the voicemail, because rather than having such a Holiness voicemail that you have, he's got a message that goes on for two minutes. He doesn't on purpose so people only have messages, but you could do the thing where it's transcribed. And then- Yeah, but it's just my mom that leaves messages now. She's the one that still leaves messages. That's it, no one else does. I know, no one leaves messages anymore.

And then she's saying, hey, call me back. That's it. Oh, mom, you know. No. Then I see him, Ms. Call, I can call you. Exactly. Yeah, and know. But I see him as call. I can call you. Exactly. Yeah, I'm just going to listen to your message.

Okay, so I just read an email before we talked to my brother. So I'll paraphrase, but she's 50 years old. She's a 50 year young woman who's engaged. She married for the first time in my life. Her fiancee and I have great sex until last year when I had a mesh procedure done and my libido is diminished. I'm sad. My fiancee feels he's great sex until last year when I had a mesh procedure done and my libido is diminished. I'm sad, my fiancee feels he's not doing a job for me, can you help me with any suggestions?

Thank you, Lisa. So Lisa, here's a deal. At the symptoms persist of your low libido, there are many topical estrogen projects of products available for application. A lot of women are using estrogen. They're also you going on prescription testosterone in hopes of experiencing like a rapid improvement in their libido.

However, testosterone and estrogen should only be prescribed through your doctor. So I would definitely say you should go visit your doctor. There does not seem to be a simple pharmaceutical fix for women with low sex drive, which is kind of a bummer. For years, drug companies are trying to conduct like a viagra-like medication for female sexual things issues, but there is no bad magic pill that provides consistent results for women. So I would say, I don't know if you're on any other meds

and it's moving on any depressants or blood pressure medication that can also affect their libido. So I'd go check up and talk to them about estrogen or testosterone. That's what I gotta say to you to you there Lisa and good luck to you And then we should a little da kilo wouldn't hurt Most of the kilo might get you to get get a cup Once it hits the lips. It's just so good. I want to kill it now.

The libita goes crazy The libita libita libita. I really really could use some tequila right now. Really? Yeah, I'm just feeling like I could use some. Okay. Everyone needs to kill on a Friday. I don't drink enough tequila. How's it nice to kill I about you? It's good.

You're even drinking it? I don't want to kill it by just a tequila. I just want to kill it. You save it for special occasions. No, I actually drink it all. You drink it all already? Yeah. And drink it all.

Was it good? It was good. Did you think about me? It's just like Patron, yes. With every sip? Yes. But just to let people know, you have to drink it out. So you blocked out? Yeah.

You have to drink the clear dequila, because if you drink the brown de quila, you're going to end up in prison, okay? Because if you drink too much of the brown dequila, you're going to go crazy. Why? Drink the clear. I don't know. It does something chemical to people.

Where they go crazy and rip their shirts off, and then they go and beat up a cop or something. It's like, I don't know, something's wrong. I didn't know that. Okay, when this weekend do the clear to Kila. Okay, these are some of the best sex positions out there that you might not have heard of. If you've just been doing doggy style

or you've just been doing, we've got actually doggy style tips here, but if you've just been doing missionary or you've been hammering or home with the Jack Rabbit sex, that's not what we prefer. What we'd like to tell you is about some new techniques that will help her have better longer stronger orgasms and hit those spots.

The cat, the coil alignment technique. Okay. This is a really popular one. If you don't get what I'm saying, we're gonna post this on the website, a diagram of it. The Quital Alignment Technique produces more orgasms for women than any other position. And it's not that hard.

Basically, he lies on top, resting his full weight on her, rather than propping himself up, so he's kind of like lying on her, no propping up. Scoot forward, about three inches forward from your usual missionary position. Cup her shoulders and make love to her while the base of your penis is rubbing her clitoris.

So you're on top of what you're moved up more. His legs should be straight. And this is an orgasmic position that is much more up and down than in and out. So you're going up and down, you're not going, or it's more like a circular motion than in and out. Wrap your ankles around his calves to lock him in place, if both of your legs are tight, then both of you grind in tight feel good circles.

Does this make sense to you? Yes. Okay, keep your clitoris pressed against the base of his penis. Don't speed up to orgasm, but maintain a steady even pace. You will love this because clitorial stimulation has catoral stimulation and it's necessary for women to orgasm and there's more of a chances of a simultaneous orgasm with this position than any other. So it's the cat, the coitalignment technique, menace I can give this to you if you'd like to check out this again. Is it in your book? It is in my book. In your book is?

Hot sex over 200 things you can try to night, buy it on Amazon, it'll improve your sex life. Yeah I and that's all like pretty much sex position. Yeah, it's all sex positions and sexy things that you can try and it's been Rocking people's sex lives since it came out in October. Yeah, was it in Korea? Yeah, I got the Korean edition It's in seven different languages. That's crazy. I know everyone you should go by my book Okay, the doggy style. We all know doggy style, right? Man's behind.

There's something very primal about doing the deed from behind. A lot of men are able to orgasm a lot easier. Some men actually delays orgasm. But we're talking about the women. So basically the guy kneels on all fours. He kneels or stands behind the woman and penetrates holding her hips to move back and forth and keep her stable while he moves in and out. You can vary the technique by lying face down, flat on the bed with your legs spread apart

while he's on top of you impenetrates from behind. So you know when a woman can lie flat or she can have a rough back arched, both feel really good. So what you want to do specifically with this position is the front wall of the vagina is very sensitive, which is why rear entry feels really good for women. So that's why it's the front wall of the vagina. It's the best position for deep penetration and the front behind position is altered the angle and give them a direct shot at the G-spot, making your orgasm extra intense. He also gets to watch his penis going in out. Do you watch your penis going in out when you're doing that? I feel like

you're only on top. Oh, but not when you're from behind. that? Um, no, I'm not on top. Oh, but not when you're from behind. Not from that. No, it's kind of hard. You got to come down. Yeah. Okay. Here's another hint about the doggy style. By bringing your feet close together or crossing them with the ankles, your vagina, her vagina

will feel it's tightest. So bring her legs together and squeeze and it's good to make your vagina feel tight. It feels good for you. It feels good for him. It's a win-win. Have you ever invented a position you think? I shouldn't meant a position, shouldn't I? It should be called the Emily. Oh, God. What would it be? What would the Emily be? The Emily? I know you're going to make a joke, but you can't go ahead. No, no, no. I was just going to say I don't know what it would be. It would be, I can tell you what it won't be, but it won't be like Jack gravity.

It'll be really slow and sensual, and it'll have to do with a lot of kissing my neck and teasing me slowly, undressing me slowly. Is that a position? That's more of an act. Yeah, that's an act. Okay.

I'm gonna think about the Emily position. I should have met my own position because I'm in a good position to do so. Yeah, I want mine to incorporate flips and cartwheels. Really? Yeah, but she's doing all that stuff. How about you should get a swing in your room? A sex swing?

A sex swing. I don't even see how those things work. I know, I don't really get it either to be honest. If you're a sex swing manufacturer, semi one, I'll review it. I get all the toys I've never gotten sex swing. I got offered one once. I'm like, we're having to put it like,

oh, I don't install it yourself. Like like Kardashian. Laurie Kardashian fell. I had to broke it. I know, that's hilarious, but they're heavy couple. Yeah, but no, she's not that heavy. She just looks heavy because next to her sisters. Right, but she's big or bone.

Shut that. I've met her in person. She's the same height as me. Right. She looks, right, maybe it's because her sisters are smaller. Yeah, their sisters are super short. But Lamar Odom is, isn't that who she's going to do? He's super tall.

Yeah, there you go. OK, women on top. We all know women on top. There are many positions to practice by having sex, but if you really want to make her orgasm during sex, let her jump on top, we all know women on top. There are many positions to practice when you're having sex, but if you really want to make her orgasm during sex, let her jump on top and take control. Because men love this, because they can lay back and they can watch her boobs bouncing up and down.

I've rarely found women that can orgasm on top, though. Really? Yeah, it sucks because then when they can't do that, then you gotta as a guy, you gotta do all the work. You gotta do all the work. Most women I know are getting, not most, I don't want to say that, but a lot of women are more likely to do it.

I love those women. Love those women. You got to find those women. Okay, so, we'll go to that boy. Exactly. I'm just going to zone out here a minute while you grind away. Women on top is a great position for her,

because she can find the perfect spot and pace to grind herself on you. She knows exactly how to move. So that's why she would do this position. It's one of the only positions where she can get tutorial stimulation without a helping hand. However, she can also lean backwards way you rubber clitoris with your fingers. Men like that when the woman leans backwards, it's kind of not all the way, but like you see your boobs and you can rubber clitoris. It's a perfect position for that. Here's a hot

hint though about women on top. Just switch this move up, she can face the other way, reverse cowgirl, and lean backwards on your chest. If she leans back far enough, you can caress her breasts during sex, which is always nice. I feel like men forget to caress the breasts. And while she does the control movement, some thrusting on your end will feel good

and help her take her where she wants to be. So the deal is that women on top is great for a lot of women because they can move exactly how they want to move for her clitoris. So for the women that men date, men date, men states for some reason, they're all. No, I love the ones that take you day. I know. Why doesn't kind of find you guys need to just like, there should be like a special badge on Facebook or something. I know. You think all the dating sites would be like, how do you orgasm? What positions do you like? God, they or something like this. I know. You think all the dating sites would be like, how do you orgasm? What positions do you like?

Oh my God, that'd be so amazing. I agree, like a sex survey. Once you make that site. Okay. Here is how I do a sexually. It's on my list of things to do. Because that would take out so many weird conversations and everything like that.

It'll just get everything out of the way. I know, so you know before it, oh, he wants me to blindfold him and slap him on the ass. There's something. Yeah, it's a good, they have websites that they like, FET life, they have different websites where you can, where you screen your stuff sexually. Your fetishes.

Yeah, you can forget your fetishes. I'm not talking about fetishes, I just like, I just want to know what makes you feel good, babe, before you get here so I can rock and roll. Yeah. I get it. Okay. Or maybe that's like a survey, like a piece of paper, a little survey that you can fill out,

and then you just hand the survey back to somebody. Yeah. I've seen these sex surveys on the first day. Yeah. I've seen these sex surveys, and I think that they are very interesting. You know what I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, You like so much one of the biggest problems with sex is that people don't expand their horizons. They don't ask they do the same positions over and over again and they don't realize that there's actually more to try more to do by my book. Yeah, and I also was trying to campaign

for a couple of years on the show. You probably don't remember, but how people should have sex before they go out. And they would have so much more fun. Oh, it's a good point, but they're not drunk enough yet, as you would say. Yeah, maybe. Some people have sex before they go out. They would have so much more fun. Oh, it's a good point, but they're not drunk enough yet, as you would say. Yeah, maybe. Some people have sex before they go out. Yeah. I think it's always a big anticipation towards the end of the night. So much anticipation and stuff like that. But why don't you just have sex before hanging out with them? Because we'll dress and ready to get out. We got to make up on a redress. We don't want to get naked

again. Unless you shower together, like we've been talking about, and then you get dressed together, and then you've sex after you shower, but then you got to kind of shower again, if it gets messy, but whatever. But if you're taking it more complicated than it should be. It doesn't have to be, just bang before you go out and bang when you get home again.

I love it. Okay, we got a little bit of time here. We're gonna move into the texting mistakes guys make after first date. Oh, yes, so I want to hear this. Don't you? Yeah. Okay, there's So I want to hear this. Don't you? Yeah. Okay.

There's general texting errors that men make, which is why you probably didn't get a text or a call back. General psycho behavior. Sending a good morning beautiful text at 7 a.m. the next morning is a nice gesture, but if it looks like you sent this immediately after waking up, it's a bit over eager. You might not agree with all these. Pussy. I like if a guy said, good morning, beautiful,

but if it's at 7 a.m., maybe right after, you should wait a few hours. Yeah, I gotta do it like in the afternoon. Okay, no morning text. No morning text. Sounds like you just woke up and you may have been obsessing about it all night. Okay, seizing poetic license on pet names.

We've talked about this prematurely pet naming somebody. In the first text after the kiss night, it's strange to be dropping nicknames, even if it's something as general as beautiful. It pushes things beyond casual way too fast. I agree, when guys are like, hey babe or whatever after the, hey lover, hey beautiful,

although I love to be called beautiful. I don't think guys care about this stuff. Well, you guys, oh Ray and I love this stuff. We all wear a lot. We sent our texts out to like three of our friends and we were like, what do you think you meant by good morning? Yeah. We analyzed everything.

It's very true. So dumb. Okay, a text novel. If you're shattering character's limits with three to five long texts in a row, you better be hoping, helping your date right in essay. Otherwise, you come off as a maniac. So don't type too much.

Don't get into like, it last night was really fun when, and I thought that, well, when your chicken Parmesan came to the table or whatever, just like, keep it short, sweet, simple. Okay. Over aggressive texting, not giving the girl enough time to respond to a text. You need to at least create the appearance that you have a life.

Yeah, if I text a girl and she doesn't text me back right away, I won't text her at all. Ever again? No, I'll just wait for her to text me. Right. But don't do it twice in a row. No, no, no. I just text you. Did you get it?

Maybe a couple months later, if something comes up, that's really... If you've been dating for a while, I think that's fine. But after the first date, if you aggressively tax the person, then that's like a few in a row. And even if she liked you, here's the thing that I gotta be real about. Even if I really like a guy, if he is like way to, like calling me texting me, when are we going out again,

like right away, even if we both agree, it was a great date, it's too much too soon. Yeah, totally. And like, even if a girl started texting me right away, I kinda get a little, do you? Yeah. A little hesitant, like,

maybe this chick's a little too needy. And I can't be able to take, I can't take needy. I can't take needy chicks, that's so not for you. Okay, forcing a date. It's good to make plans for the next date, but don't pull the now or never card or pressure a girl into seeing you as soon as possible. Especially if she says she's busy that week.

Better yet, don't plan a second date through text. Call her. I totally agree. I had a guy, I think it was on the show. He was like, I asked you out once. I can't remember who it was. And they were, I think it was on the show. He was like, I asked you out once. I can't remember who it was. And they were like, this came up on the show. And I said, I'm really busy for two weeks. You should call me after. And then I ran into me a year later at a party. You should call me in two weeks. And he's like, you were totally blowing me off.

And I was like, no, I really was busy for two weeks. And I would have gone out with you. But he was assuming that I was Making assumptions, never make assumptions. That's one of the four rules for agreements. So he made an assumption and he's wrong. So and also I think there's nothing, we're talking about texting. Sometimes it's really nice to pick up and make a god damn phone call.

Call him, it's not. If she says no, be like, hey, what's up with you? Then you can also tell by her tone of voice, maybe she's not that into. Or whatever it is. Crazy though, some women just get thrown off by the call so they're like, oh, he's calling. And then they deny the call just because he's calling.

And then they text you like, oh, hey, what's up? Yeah, you're like, wait, are you calling me? People don't. But then I call them on their shit and they love it. I go, I'm not a teenager, I don't text. So if you want, when you want to call me, you don't text? Yes, you do. I text, but like, if it's go, I'm not a teenager, I don't text. So if you want to, when you want to call me. Oh, you don't text? Yes, you do. I text, but like, if it's something that I'm like,

really into, you know, I pull the card of like, oh, I'm not a teenager, I don't text. Right. We can talk later when you're ready. Right. And dude, believe me, they, The girls come running. They eat that shit.

They beat your pants down. That's amazing. Yeah. Cause any like beautiful woman is usually, They need that shit. They make your pants down. That's amazing. Cause any like beautiful woman is usually used to men kissing their ass all time. So if they, if you call them and don't cater to their, their crap, they're going to be kind of interested. When are you sweet to women? When does that part come in? I'm sweet to women all the time. Like if a woman's with me, I'm going to be, I'm going to treat them like gold.

You're going to tell her she's, you gonna say, hey baby, hey beautiful? Yeah, of course. Oh good. But you know, I can't do that with any old hoe out there on the street. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know you don't do that. Okay, the next is, hey, this is something

you should not do when you're texting. Don't just say, hey, it puts the burden on the girl. Now she thinks she's just, I think it's something to say. This also goes for for how are you? I've had a lot of guys be like, what's up? Yeah, but they just really want a bone. They're just like what's up? And that you know that read the line? I want to bone you. Yeah, so just say you want to bone me or give me something good, but hey, how are you? I'm deleting that. Hey, what's going on? Hey, what's up? Do you really care? What's up? Do you want to know?

What's up? I'm texting some other guy right now who's a better text with you. OK, the conversation starter, if you're really reaching for an excuse to text someone, it will come across like, you're just shouting, I need to start a conversation now. I intend to start a conversation now. So you should not just start off with like, so what do you think about small dogs or whatever?

Like you want to call them or wait you're on the date but don't like be texting to start a whole conversation. Yeah. I'm so tired. So when is texting gets exhausting? And I really think that the call is the holy grail when the guy picks up the phone and calls me, I'm totally fine.

Well, you know me on all like writing, so I'm always on the phone. I know. I love that you always call. And now we G chat. We, yeah, we video chat. It's so fun. How much do you love that? I love it. I get to see a little pretty face. Thank you. Okay the last and final thing. Do you want to guess what men shouldn't do? Ask them if they're DTF. Don't do that but the

winky face. Don't use emoticons. You're not in middle school anymore. Motocons. I love emoticons. Do you not use emoticons? I am guilty of maybe using emoticons. Yeah, you do the smiley face. Because you just, you want someone to know that you're joking. There's no other way to do it. You want to be cute. You want to be fun. It's become punctuation. It's fine. I don't think a guy's a pussy if he does a little smiley winky face. Well, maybe his butt just let it go I see but not because of the emoticon. I swear to God it was something else. It was something else It was not the emoticon. So that's what we got for you on today's show where this has been awesome I got to talk to your family today. It's Friday. I want people to

Drink but don't drive exactly time. We're here at the stitcher studios in San Francisco If you don't know a stitcher's iter is, you just download it for your phone. Yep. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com.