Sex With Emily - SWE: Cheaters, Selfish Lovers & Fake Orgasms

Episode Date: September 13, 2013

Things that I don’t tolerate and you shouldn’t either: cheaters, selfish lovers, and fake orgasms. Don’t fake orgasms! Don’t try to put on a sexy face and give a porn star moan when you don’t mean it. Instead of faking orgasms, find out how you can really enjoy sex. It helps if you have a tall, dark, and handsome companion, but you need to do the work on yourself to find out what feels good. Show him what you like, instead of putting on a show to satisfy his ego.How do you know if your boyfriend is cheating? If you have to ask whether your boyfriend is a cheater or not, then he’s probably a cheater. I’ll show you how to know whether he’s a cheater or not, without going through his cell phone in the middle of the night.How much should you talk about sex on a date? As a sex expert, I probably talk about sex more than the average person. I can’t help bring up sex when I’m out on a date, but should you talk about sex on the first date? Also, what do you do about a selfish lover? If he’s not going down on you, what is the best plan of attack? Withhold oral sex from him? Steal his video game controls? Or maybe you should just communicate with your partner that you want oral sex? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, I'm Dr. Emily Morse from sexwithemily.com. Do you want to last longer in bed? Promessant is the only FDA-approved treatment for premature ejaculation. One of three men suffer from premature ejaculation, but they don't have to. Go to promessant.com to give the desensitizing spray that will allow you to have the sex you deserve. Book into his eyes. Then the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a fight on me.

Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so shrinkage. Isn't it common, all right? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I'm so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between for more information go to sexwithemily.com. And listen to all of our podcasts. You can also find them on iTunes or podcast one. Super awesome place to find podcasts or on Stitcher. People can download them and listen to a Stitcher. It's an app put it on your iPhone, smart phone, listen to any podcast you want.

I'm here. This is part of the San Francisco series. I am back in my homeland with men. Yes. Hi, men. I love seeing you face to face. It's amazing. It's just like a whole day. I know it's so fun. I know it sounds a little bit better. One word together.

It's easy. Sorry to our listeners that it the sound, whatever. You'll know some people don't notice as much maybe, but yeah, no, but I'm just like getting to see you face to face instead of like trying to listen to you through headphones and do a show. And my bad headphones. Yeah, it's a pain the ass. But we're here together. We're doing a show and And my bad headphones, like, yeah, it's a painly ass butt. They've been Los Angeles, yes. But we're here together. We're here together. We're doing a show. And we're going to find ways to like try to see each other

for the first time. I think that's a really good plan, rather than doing it in a janky way. Yeah. It's very, it's very hood, the way that we do it. I know, because I met them doing a show together for many years, but this is your first time in the show. And so I've moved to Los Angeles recently temporarily.

I have to get back out of the way. But so we do it, we still do it, but it's, we're not in the same room. But the sound sometimes, my fault, not as great. But you can still hear me, you can still, your sex life will still improve on listening. So I'm sorry, but menace is a sound snob. Oh yeah.

As you should say, which is why I love him. I love him for many reasons. But I was just thinking about you menace because you will be very proud of me. I did something very technical on my own. But I, okay, so this is going to connect. I swear to God in some way, but I changed. I never thought I would do this like I changed my phone service. So there's this new service called Ting.

T&G, go to emily.ting.com and you'll check it out. But basically, it's this amazing plan that you can go on there and be like, how much money would I save if I went through Ting? And they, because we pay for so much stuff with our other carriers, so you go to Ting.com. You use there, they have this sales calculator that you can put in your, the current service that you're with. So I can put in whoever I'm with, they can access my account into savings calculator. And it showed me how much money I'm saving like 75 bucks a month from

my old plan. And I could always pay too much because I'm like, oh, I would have used too much data. And it doesn't charge you for what you don't use. And it rolls over into the next month. You have to be on the sprint network. But it's different because there's no overcharger penalties. You get credits on new service. So I said it rolls over. And there's no over-tarder penalties. You get credits on a new service, so I said it rolls over. And there's no other than those mysterious things in your bill where they're charging you for stuff you don't use. It just makes sense because they check it out every month and they tailor it. And you just pay for what you use. It's amazing network. And I am buying new shoes. So I thought you'd appreciate that.

Did I decided that since I'm saving so much money every month, which is very significant savings that I am going to spend it on shoes. And I'm just curious. So check out Ting again, it's mle.ting.com. And I was like, yeah, whatever. But when you see how much money, most people on the planet are wasting because they don't think to look at it,

it'll save people money. So shoes. I'm gonna buy some more towels. It's crazy, but it's also on the, now you got me, because it's on the sprint network Sprint network right which I I'll disclose that I I actually have stock in sprint this is the first time I'm I'm very even you should do to support men. Yeah, it's funny because I mean this is the first time me hearing this That's really cool because I'm actually friends with the people at sprint to so I go to all their

I'm actually friends with the people at Sprint 2, so I go to all their launch stuff when they have something new and when they're building new towers. If you follow me on Instagram or on Twitter, you'll see me always talking about Sprint. You love Sprint, you have always, but I never thought right. Yeah, because I'm friends with them, so they take me out and they take me on top of buildings and look at their new antennas because that's how geeky I am. You are such a geek, I love that. That's really cool. That's cool. So it's crazy. I love that. That's really cool. I like it.

So, it's awesome. So, check that out. And then, today's show, we're going to be reading your emails that you sent to feedback at sex with L.A. dot com. Because I just want to try to answer all of our listeners. We get so many emails from you. And I just want to keep improving everyone's sex life. We've got so many podcasts that you can listen to.

And I love hearing from you. So, feedback at sex with L.A. dot com. Today's topics will include, okay, I mean, this email, she's like, she wants to know if her boyfriend is a cheater or not. And this comes up a lot lately because people discover things. And I'm thinking if you got to ask,

you probably is, but we're gonna get into that in a minute. So do you think your boyfriend's cheater? This is a guy, he's got low confidence. He wants to know how we can help him. Low confidence with checks, give him some advice, which we are very good at doing. And also, another woman, we had this in a podcast recently, she's sexually frustrated. She's open, she's independent, she wants to have great sex, but she also wants a good

relationship and thinks that guys are only in it to bang her, because she's open sexually and she can't get a guy to want to commit to her. So we'll talk about that. Women are more sexually, this reminds me of a conversation that I just had. So I always with a bunch of women last weekend in San Francisco, NEPA, NEPA with Alma girlfriends. And so we talked a lot about a lot of different things, but we talked about sex and of course, and it's interesting because pornography's been coming up a lot lately.

How porn has changed the way that people Men and women for different reasons the way they Look at sex experience sex how they learn about sex like I'm hoping that a lot of guys and women listen to this show and they are learning About sex the right way because porn well it serves its purpose. It's not necessary Technically the best way for guys or women to learn about how to sex because it's like made to look, you know, the actress in there is doing something to make it looks good visually, but doesn't necessarily mean that when you're going pounding it or like a jack know, it's funny because it keeps coming up because I have a guy friend who, it's how many of you've noticed this with women. He's a little bit older.

Maybe he's like 42, let's say, and he's dating a woman who's 25. And he said that she has sex like a porn star. Like she, her movements, the way she moans, the way she talks, the way she moot, like that he felt it was like a porn star thing. And that's how a lot of women are learning about sex. I think like younger women, they just,

and so then he felt he just started watching more porn to kind of do the moves that she wanted back. So, and I've also heard it like vice versa that a lot of guys too are like, you know, expecting things for like anal sex or whatever things that they've seen in porn that they would ever. So do you find that women, ever you're like oh my god she's not really being sincere she's just trying to add to porn star while trying to do these maneuvers like you ever have sex on your like oh

she doesn't seem really into it like I think it was interesting like it maybe it was just a general kind of like yeah but the the thing is with the I don't think that in the actual sex act, it's like trying to be trying to be sexy. Don't try to be sexy, but don't you think? Don't try to be sexy around me because I'm just going to laugh because I think it's funny. And that's what I'm out of women. I'm sorry.

Because women don't get discouraged because a lot of guys are going to be thinking it's hot. For some reason, I just automatically start laughing when a woman tries to be sexy. Like explains me that. Like what would she do that would make you think that she was faking her sexiness? You know, like trying to take her clothes off like slowly

and like the sexy face and you know, are like trying to mone. What are the things that the porn star moneys? Yeah, the fake, when you know it's like, I'm barely even touching you and you're just like moaning like crazy. Then I think that's comedic, you know? Right, so that's what they're saying that people,

and I just think that if you're learning about sex, you should just have other avenues. And if you're a woman, you need to figure out what makes you feel good, and I'm really focused on that when you're having sex with someone. Think, am I getting my needs met? Is he moving in the right place? Or is she whoever you're having sex with someone. Think, am I getting my needs met? Is he moving in the right place?

Or is she whoever you're having sex with? Can you move this differently? Do I need to touch myself? Devon orgasm like, you know, communicate with your partner and don't learn everything. Everything you learn about sex you should learn from my podcast, not from, or other places, but not from porn. That's right.

Not the same thing wrong, porn. Man, I can't get on the internet right now, but there's a movie coming out that's actually about It's with Jordan Gort Joseph Gordon Levitt. Uh-huh. He's a guy from 500 days of summer right probably got that wrong, but he's an actor anyways He there's a movie and it's all about how he loves watching porn on the internet I love it. He's obsessed with it and his significant other finds out about it. And then like there are going over. Well, that's a not whole other thing with porn too, is that a lot of guys, you know,

hide it from their partner or when a partner woman find out about it, they feel very threatened by porn. They feel that it's because he doesn't think that I'm attractive or he needs something else. But I think that a lot of times men, what I've come to know, is that men, even if they could have even the best sex of their life, that makes them want to be, watch porn more, because they're so turned on.

And it's just another outlet for men. It doesn't mean that he doesn't want to be with you and that he wishes that you look like a porn star. It's just another release for men that can be completely innocent, innocuous, or whatever, that he keep you to get off. Women are the same, they feel threatened. I think a lot of young women too don't understand it.

So I just think if he's got a healthy porn white, what even one today is fine. And it's like a hundred times a day we can talk, but what's the issue with that? And yes, what's funny also, like they show in the trailer of the movie, she's like, how can you watch that trash? And he goes, well, how do you watch those trashy, you know, movies that you watch, talking about like chick flicks

and stuff like that? She goes, they give away awards for those movies. And he goes, they give away awards for porn movies, you know? They do. It's funny that you said that. Yes. Because you know the porn awards, the AVN awards? Yes.

I'm the keynote speaker this year I'm not way How can you tell me? I forgot because we're talking about on the show But yeah, if anyone's gonna be in Vegas in January, I will be the keynote speaker at the avian would Convention which is the same time of CES do you go? Actually, I'm Planting on going to CES this year. There you go. We're gonna be there at the same time You knew Vegas, baby. I'm going to have the dip on over.

Dip on over, baby. I'll get you in. That's it. Okay. The movie that I was talking about with Jordan Gores, the hit is shorter name, A-hole. I know. It's called Don John.

Don John. Don John. So look it up, people. Okay. It's a movie that just came out. No, it's about to come out. Okay. I'm going to go see movies. I'm going to go out and see you. I'm going to go out and see you. I'm it's movie that just came out. No, it's about to come out. Okay, I'm gonna go see movies. End of the crowd.

And you know, a relationship dealing with a guy that loves porn. Okay, so I don't even remember how he got on the porn topic, but that's just been on my mind lately because even when I'm hosting Love Line, which I do on Thursday nights with Dr. Drew, you can check out LoveLineShow.com. It's another podcast and live radio show. Lots of women last week called in about their porn watching happens with their boyfriend and their upset, so it's on my mind always. Okay. So dear Emily, I started this relationship with this guy recently. We were supposed to have gotten together in high school, but he

met someone else and he left me. In my resentment, I sent a message to his girlfriend after he messaged me about getting back together with me. I told her I was planning to come back to me after she moved. He knew I sent it and held a grudge for a while. He now claims to really like me and wants to be an exclusive relationship with me. It's very sketchy because he's very affectionate and loving, when we're alone, but not in public. And he talks about sex a lot. We haven't yet because I still think he is up to some type of revenge. Even though he always tells me he really likes me and wants me to trust him, but I'm having a very hard time believing him could it be that he's up to

something or could he be genuine? Sign Nancy. Oh Nancy, this does not sound good to me at all. You're probably in high school. It sounds like our figures are high school. And he left you for a girl and then texted you and said, we're going to get back together when I dumped this girl. This guy is bad news. He's still with the girl. He's still with the girl right now. Yeah. This is what happens. You get blinded. You think, oh, he's coming back to the thing. You got to just Nancy. You got to cut this. He's trying to find out if he can hook up on the side. Yeah. That's what he's doing right now. Yeah. He's not really want to get with you. He wants to see

if he can hook up on the side or if they're about to break up, then he can just move on to you really quickly. Exactly. So I think. can just move on to you really quickly. Exactly. So I think- But not move on to you really quickly. I mean, he can have somebody where he doesn't have a period of time where he's not having sex. I'm not saying where he wants to have

like a long-term type thing. Exactly. So I mean, I think there's always going to be jealousy issues with this guy. He might seem like a cheater, but I think you're always going to worry about it. And you just want to be with someone that you don't trust. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is blind when people make crazy mistakes and like marry people and she because you're lost. You are lustful. You're infatuated with this guy right now and you're not going to listen to me. So why am I even talking to Nancy? She's not going to listen. Nancy, just know that I'm right and listen to me. That's something that I've learned later on in my age, that no one effing

listens. Like they want you to, they want to ask for advice all day long about what they should do in their relationship and you tell them like, dude, do not mess with this person. And they go, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they go mess around with that person. It's a freaking disaster. And then they come back to you, oh, I should have listened to you. Yeah. Hello. This is why I don't waste my effing time anymore. And then they go and they go back and they just want more and more information on why they shouldn't date that person. Yeah, like tell me again, why is it not good? Right, no one listens.

You just got to write them an email and then tell them to keep reading it over. I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I. Dear Emily, I'm a new listener to your show and have maybe a fairly odd question. Usually I'm a pretty confident person and I feel good about who I am sexually and my performance in bed except with regards to one person, my ex girlfriend who's also my best friend. While we were dating, she was definitely the less sexually adventurous one.

At the time, she claimed she didn't even masturbate. After we broke up, we tried to maintain her friendship, she became more sexual person and started to really explore her sexuality. During this time, I found out that she never had orgasm with me and was faking it. Needless to say, some of this rocked my confidence. And we have tried several times to rekindle our relationship

because we have a deep emotional connection. I feel like she compares me to her post sexual awakening partners. I know I am too available and there are two, and two there for her, even when she's with someone else. Is there anything I can do to try to rekindle this relationship all these years later? Or is it just time to throw in the towel?

Signed Andrew. Okay, Andrew, I always like God, I wish you put it in his age, not that it's 100% matters, but I'm just curious that Regards on person X girl from my best friend like how long were you dating you said it's been a while the point is I'm assuming you're in your 20s early 20s. I I think that first of all Do you even really like this person or is it since you found out that she was faking her orgasm that you just need to have her back because you feel insecure and you just want her back so you can rock her world and then lever it's like an ego thing because that is no reason to be with her.

And you say she's comparing you to her post sexual awakening partner, so I think you're just your ego here. And you said you've been trying for a few years to rekindle in. It's still not working. It just doesn't sound like a recipe for success. She sounds like a war does move on. She's not a horror. She's going through a sexual awakening. I love that. I guess, Skank throwing the gutter get another. Yeah. Exactly. No, but I'm not saying you don't need to be with somebody that's like hurting our feelings like that. She shouldn't be rubbing it in with you and saying she faked her orgasm. Yeah.

Whatever. And if you're young, I'm just assuming because a lot of people in their 20s and early 20s don't know how to have orgasm. They don't know, they don't know their body. So Andrew, this has nothing to do with you. Exactly. And I have to say that I was guilty when I was 24, I broke up with this guy. And I remember even telling his friends from a bed of wedding, this was bad.

I got drunk and I was like, I never had an orgasm. I was just stupid. I regret until this day. like, I never had an orgasm with them. Like thinking it was his fault, but women should never, this is the bottom line. Women should not blame you because they didn't have an orgasm. It's actually their fault because she could have told you what she needed to have an or, and you said she never masturbated when you were together.

Well, you want to be with a woman now. You are, L guys who has masturbated, who has had orgasms or maybe you guys do it together and you help her figure it out But a woman who doesn't know how to get herself there You're not gonna be able to do it if she's never I mean maybe a mirror. Obviously it'll happen But a lot of women needs time alone masturbating figuring out their bodies so that they can then tell their partner what they need and then she can have orgasms Now I'd be mad at you Andrew if she the whole time was like listen out their bodies so that they can then tell their partner what they need and then she can have orgasms. Now, I'd be mad at you Andrew.

If she the whole time was like, listen, you need to lick my clitoris for us for five minutes in that tone, 20 minutes, and you didn't do it. And then I'd say, yeah, you're a schmuck because she was telling you what she needed, but Andrew, she didn't tell you so don't put your set up. You didn't fail as a man. Your penis isn't too small, whatever you're worried about. And I'd move on and find someone else that you should be with. That's what I think.

Totally agree. You agree? I love when we agree. It's amazing. Okay. Um, another woman's sexually frustrated. Okay, sexually open, but relationship frustration. Dear Emily, I love your show. I listened to every episode.

I just came out of a serious sexual relationship. It didn't work out, but now I have found myself only finding people that are fun to have sex with. I like them more than that, but it has become hard for me since my primary sexual relationship to move past the point of just having sex. I like them more than that, but it's become hard for me since my primary sexual relationship to move past, so she's trying to move beyond just having sex, whatever. I love to have fun, and I feel like if it's the right time to have a sexual relationship, then go for it. But I really want to find something more whatever. I love to have fun, and I feel like if it's the right time and if it's actual relationship, then go for it. But I really want to find something more sustainable.

I want to be in a relationship, but I feel like there's a vibe I'm giving out that I just want to hook up. I'm completely into sexual exploration and trying new things and I'm open. I feel like that puts out a vibe that I'm just into sex and nothing else. How do I change that perspective?

I want someone to share my life with and my sexual life with. I like talking about sex. I have fun joking and teasing, but maybe that's my problem. Your show is maybe a better lover to others and to myself. Thanks, Kristen. Okay, Kristen, what? No, I'm like totally ready to jump in. Go jump. Let me tell you something. Once you just tell, you start talking about sex with a man, like they can't get that out of their mind. I'm sorry. You might have to like keep that in a little bit. If you're a relationship, you're trying to be a relationship focused because once a woman starts talking about blow jobs, a man just thinks like, man, I really want to try to get a blow job for this chick. I'm sorry.

But he can't lead. He doesn't look at you as a relationship material. It's not really. Well, not that they don't look at you for relationship material, but that's like, that's just like a number one thing. Right. You said blow down the slicey. It's blow down the job. It's not, it's not your fault, but that's just, you know, how men are wired. Like, if you're talking about sex, they're like, oh my god, they're just focused, you

know, they don't care about if you like going hiking in Los Angeles and the hills. Like, man, she likes, she likes boning. I want to get down and bone with her. Maybe it'll be cool to go to the movies with her later, but I'm just focused on boning, you know? Totally. And it's cool, you wanna be free and just be able to talk about sex with them and all that stuff.

But maybe just kinda hold off if relationships in your mind. But if you're just a woman out there that's looking at bang, talk about sex all day long You know, so you think a woman she shouldn't bring it up on the first second third day. So you're saying never I mean I That's my problem about it because I bring it comes up because of my job and then guys just want to bang Yeah, it's true. You don't be I've changed my career. Yeah, they just I'm sorry. You're right. You can't get it out their head So you know focus on relationship stuff first and get in with a guy that you really like

and then go, you know, super into like, oh, this is how I like it, this is how I want it. Exactly. So maybe don't prematurely talk about sex and don't prematurely have sex with anyone. I just, I do believe that people should wait as long as possible to have sex with a new partner. Like I think, Kristen, if you really got to know the person.

Is this a good person? Is someone that you're attracted to? But then, do I want to be a relationship, spend time with them, do they have same morals, values, whatever it is, we want the same things in life? Because oftentimes, they get into the sex part too quickly, and then they no longer, then they think, then it's all about the sex, and they become obsessed, and they don't even look at the person for who they are. So I would say maybe delay talking about all the things you want and bad and all the stuff you've done,

even though you're a free spirit, open woman, and delay and I would delay sex as long as you can and get to know these guys. And I think you'd be, maybe they wouldn't look at you as just a hook up or they wouldn't look at you as just a, you know, someone who's that they're thinking that's their next blow job train. She's on the blow job train. Yeah, like Emily, look, perfect example. What? Once you just mentioned that you're from sex with Emily, what are the conversations usually after that?

People just like, let's go. Let's get a hotel room. No, guys are like, no, it's true. And I don't want to lead with the fact that I have a sex talk because I think guys get intimidated or they think, oh, she's gonna be crazy. We're gonna have sex and I'll be swinging from the rafters. Yeah, it's hard. I'm telling you, Kristen, you don't want my, you don't want my dating life, okay? You do not want, because someone Googles me and

it's as ex-family and I'm a prostitute, which I'm not. So I would just dial it back. I don't want you to change who you are, but maybe just change your topics of conversation, how you approach men. You laid it all out here from honey. I think that you know what's going on. And so I love that you're sexually open, just maybe, you know, talk about other things and let him know other size of yourself before you reveal that right away and then see how that goes for you. I think that is a great way to do it. You can also explore yourself sexually. You don't need a man to do it. You can buy a sex toy. You can go to good vibes. .com, which is my favorite place to get sex toys. I have an entire garage full of sex toys in Los Angeles, Emily at goodvibes.com.

You get 15% off. It's amazing deal. And I just have to say, I'm obsessed with the new Jésus, J-E, J-O-U-E, Feefe. It's like the most beautiful, like, rabbit vibrator. It's like one of the rabbits that used to be popular like 10 years ago, but they've made so many improvements on it. It's waterproof. It's just beautiful. It has just like really powerful little nubs on it. Hit your clitoris, hit your g-spot. I just love the J.E. J.U. Mimi. And the Fifi. Well, I always talk about the Mimi, but the Fifi is the latest. I'm sort of having an affair on my Mimi vibrator. We just actually great one to use during intercourse

and to whole intercutters, but I also love the Phoebe. So Emily at good vibes.com. Emily, keep on quote Emily at good vibes.com for 15% off. Now people need to go to sexathamlee.com and listen to the past couple shows because we've been recording them here in San Francisco. And I don't remember if it was the first one or two shows back or the last one, but every time you bring up Fifi, I give this image in my head from high school, people talking about Fifi bags.

Now, I finally, I just looked it up on the internet wall, you brought up Fifi again. And so Fifi bag is a real thing. It's actually used by prisoners who want to, it's basically making your own fake pocket vagina, right? Right. And it says that they use a plastic baggy containing, now this might be kind of gross for you, raw liver or jello to use for sexual gratification.

Now we're talking about prisoners, okay? We're not talking about, you know, just people on the open. And it's actually prison, prison slang. So that's what a fee fee bag is. So for the people that listen to a couple shows back, I'm like, when you say, okay, so they have sex with the vagina. Yeah, they make their own vagina out of possibly. Right. I have a solution for guys doing that.

Okay. Get a fleshlight from good vibes.com or get a tanga masturbation sleeve. They feel really good. It might feel like a vagina view or whatever you want. You can just suction. It can, it has more pressure. And a lot of guys like you put a little lube in it. It feels really good.

So there are sex toys for men at good vibes.com as well. That's funny. The Fifi is a pocket bag. It's a real thing. It's a homemade pocket vagina. Fifi bag. Stop. Okay.

I imagine like when people are younger, like, you know, everything they stick to penis is into. It's crazy. I know like pies, they really do that. Like, would you stick your penis into it when you're younger? When I was younger, man, what are you sick of my penis? Honestly, nothing comes up off the top of the head. We hear about stories of guys sticking their penises into, in between picnic tables and

stuff like that. Like crazy stuff. There was this story, it's pretty bad, but it was all over the internet a couple weeks ago that this guy for sexual gratification was trying to stick the end of a spoon through his urefa, like the small part of his penis. Ouch.

Like people, I don't know. I don't know. I know, really. Like it's okay to masturbate, but I'm aware of it. Guys do crazy things. Well, when he started, you know, start tweaking the penis with, you know, metal objects. Oh my God. That just hurts.

I can't even, I'm like, so distracted. Okay. Yeah, be careful with your penis guys. Just have sex with one of these good vibration things from men. Go on the website, search for mentors. It's going'll be fine. OK, this email just in actually, like literally just now, I just liked it.

I get so many emails from you. Feedbackatsex.com. And this one's like jumping in the top, because it's my favorite topic. Do you know what it's about? Your favorite topic. I'm not even looking at it. You can't see.

It is a female going down on a female. Oh my God. And that is you know me so well. Yes, I love us. I love us. I love us. We should get married or something if we like each other that much. Okay. Dear Emily, my boyfriend and I have been dating for eight months and he's never gone down on me. And I want him to. I really like him. I've dated other people but I've

always felt embarrassed if they tried to go down on me. And I want him to, I really like him. I've dated other people, but I've always felt embarrassed if they tried to go down on me. I always grabbed them and pulled them up to my lips and I can't get enough of them. So here's my question, how do I get him to go down on me? And how do I get over the embarrassment, the embarrassed feelings and nervousness? Okay, it's for Rihanna.

Yeah. So I think that a lot of women, young women who have embarrassment about their, like, you know, hygiene and it doesn't really like it, does he really want to be there. And now she's saying, okay, I'm coming around to it, but how can she not be embarrassed and how can she get them to do it? Like, they've been together eight months and he's never, he's never done it. So I would say, first of all, have you performed oral socks on him? I'm wondering if you have, because you should be reciprocating by now if he hasn't.

I think you could also guide him and just tell me, nah, you know, it feel amazing. If you kiss me down there, I really like that. You could have a talk about it when you're not having sex. You can just ask about it. So is that something, you know, or when you perform oral sex,

to be like my turn, to say that? I mean, how would you want a woman to initiate you going down on her mask? If you hadn't done it, what would you, what would make you want to do it? Yeah, I know, even though I know you don't like it. You don't want to do it? Nothing. Nothing, but yeah, she can just bring it up.

Just say it, but when? Just when? Just be like, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, never, I never, I never, never, I never, never, I never, never, never, I never, never, I never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never,'t you think not embed? Like, baby, go down to me. Do you want that embed? I mean, I at least want, no, no, I want to mind him bed. But at least I want it to be, and I don't want it to be at like the dinner table or like that or, you know, we're just hanging out washing TV or anything like that.

Play this podcast in front of him, we're on it. I just tell him to do it. But I think a lot of guys are insecure. So you could tell him, maybe you know what? It really makes me have crazy orgasms or what makes me feel really good is when I play with my clitoris, do you wanna see how I do it? And then you could show him how you touch yourself

and be like, you wanna kiss it or feel really good if you kiss it or just go down on me. I mean, I think that he might need some guidance as well. Maybe he hasn't gone down on you because he doesn't know if you'd like it. And maybe a lot of men don't know what they're doing. Yeah. And tell someone shows them. And then each is different. So you got to learn new every time anyway So I would just talk to him have a conversation with them

Especially if you've been going down on him and he hasn't gone on you that pisses me off Can people get like tickets for that or something? Is it illegal? I should do that stuff So and you're embarrassed by it and you want to know how so how do you get to go down and you recovered that? How do I get over the embarrassed feeling and nervousness? Honestly, I would lie back, I would breathe deep, and I would focus on the sensations that you're feeling when his tongue is on your clitoris.

Like if your mind starts tripping out, you know, take a shower before if you're worried about hygiene, make sure you feel clean and fresh, and then just keep going back to the sensation if your mind wants, it's like a meditation exercise. They always tell you a meditation like control your thoughts and let watch your thoughts come and go let them pass. It's sort of like that, like you just if you're getting neurotic in your head, go back to wow, that feels really good and just breathe

deep and enjoy it because it's oral sex is amazing. It's amazing gift to women and it's my favorite thing to talk about. So there's that. Okay, that's what we because oral sex is amazing. It's amazing gift to women. It is. And it's my favorite thing to talk about. So there's that. OK, that's what we got time for today, everyone. Check out my iPhone apps. I've been talking about this in a while. So I've got an app called Kaggle Camp.

And it is for men and women. And PC muscles are really important to strengthen them. Doctors tell you to do it five times a day, five minutes a day. You never remember to do it. So my app, Kaggle Camp, you set a reminder every day, it says, and men have been emailing me, forget it's the men more than the women who are like, oh my god, my orgasms are stronger.

I can control my ejaculation, five minutes a day, Kegel Camp, and it's my voice walking you through it. It's very pleasant, it reminds you of it. And I also have another one called Sex Drive, Emily Sex Drive, which will spice up your relationship. And then my new brand, Emily and Tony.com. Yeah, you have to check it out. I've got amazing products.

Menace's balls smell really fresh right now. I have something that will make your balls fresh and clean, called Down Under. And a lot of men and women are thinking of as high-fiving as for this product because a lot of men's balls get a little. So, I'm sweaty. They use talcum powder, things like that. It doesn't make them, doesn't keep them fresh. And it's actually carcinogenic.

So, it gets all over the place. This is like a cream to a powder. Just go to Emily.com, check it out. I have beautiful massage candles that your partner, she's gonna freak out the scent of these candles. You pour them on her. It's luxurious and amazing. And then I have the best lube that you've ever tried

in your life. I worked on this for two and a half years. I trusted every leave on the market. And it's all at mleintoin.com. If you love me, you love the show. You will go buy some products there. Because it'll change your sex life just like sex with Emily. OK, Mattis, great to see you.

Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. I'm Emily from sexwithemily.com. Crazygirlproductily.com. at next.com.