Sex With Emily - SWE: Dating Disasters

Episode Date: May 14, 2012

Emily announces that her Reality TV Show on Bravo "Miss Advised" will air on June 18th at 10 pm. In the first episode. Better tune in.Menace returns from Las Vegas and unsurprisingly did not get laid. Emily shares not only being best friends with your ex but making him your dog's baby daddy. It happens.Also, robot prostitutes, throwing sex toys at cops, and getting married so you can register and get new knives.From the Chameleon to the Co-dependent, from the Serial Dater to the Serial Liar, find out if you are dating one of the seven deadly dating personalities and how to get out as fast as you can. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes Then the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mark our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them a lie Golly hey, I'm only you got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken He thinks you're kind of cute the girls got a He's so nice the women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common, Moly? What do you mean, like, laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God. I'm all for some. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. It's Monday, everybody. It's Monday. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can get all your sex questions and answered and figure out your entire life. What's going on?

You just had a freak out right now. What happened? You're looking for something? I'm looking for something. Some content for the show. Some content for the show that was not where it should be, but we're looking for it. So anyway, happy Monday. I know.

What's up? Oh my God. a lot of people. We've got a big announcement to make. We'll call the one saying, can you, the papers are too loud, I can hear it totally. Okay, go ahead. So we've been talking about this Bravo reality TV show, Bravo TV, and I got a call yesterday morning

from the network Sunday morning 10 a.m. And they said we just want you to know that tomorrow it's gonna be going out to the press that your show misadvised is airing on June 18th on Bravo at 10 o'clock at night following real housewives of New York. Huge. Huge mongo people. It's finally here. It's been over what a year and a half in the making. I mean, yeah, two years in the making maybe when they show up, yeah, it's been a long, friggin' time. So I'm really, really excited.

And no one believed you that the show was coming. Oh, it's a pilot or what, you're on one episode. Oh, that's like, yeah, they're like, what, what, what? Is it a solid, not bitches? It's a friggin' deal. It's eight episodes and menace will grace every episode more than once, which is kind of scary. No, he's awesome in it.

And I'm really excited to that kind of floored my day, which is kind of scary. No, he's awesome in it. And I'm really excited to that kind of floor my day, which is exciting because we thought it was going to be September, but it's June. So you guys are going to love it. It's called Miss Advise. It's about three single dating experts in different cities. Do we practice what we preach? Yeah. I always believe there was going to be in June. Yeah. To be honest, after not to say, you you know That you're hilarious and awesome what you are but out of everything that I saw that was gonna be out there I felt like it's it's they're not gonna wait till September to air Yeah, they're gonna throw it on early and some people's yeah, so I think you I think summer is good people watch TV the summer Monday nights Yeah, right? They do it. So that's very exciting. What's cool about Bravo? They run run stuff like crazy. Over and over and over again. They're gonna keep repeating it.

So hopefully, yeah, so everyone get your DVRs ready. It's gonna be very exciting. You're gonna laugh your ass off. It's really funny. It's gonna be awesome. So that was that. And then Friday started out when we went to Jimmy Jain. That was super fun. Yeah, it was. I was I was only there for a little bit. I know. Help you tape something, but it was really cool to see how they do the whole process like from sketches to models and everything.

Exactly. Jimmy Jane, as you know, is one of our sponsors. We love their Basin San Francisco, their homegrown company, and I've known the owner, the creator for a long time, Ethan. And we wanted to go tour where all the magic happens. They make the most amazing sex products. We love them. They make the massage candle and the Form Three is amazing. So if you want to check out any of their products, you go to jimmyjane.com. You enter code spring and you get $25 off purchases,

$100 or more. And you can also scroll my website and click on the Emily's picks page for Jimmy Jane. You can see everything that I love there, which is most things. So that was fun. Thanks for shooting that with us, Menace. Yeah, and do you know real quick,

the reason I said I left you early because, and before the show I told you, there was something I wanted to talk to you about. I was looking at your Instagram, and it must have been when I was flying, but you Instagram a little bit, and you were showing some cleave. I was?

With some photos, yeah. I showed cleavage. You're showing cleavage in your Instagram, yeah. I didn't realize that there showing cleavage in I'm fighting night right in your Instagram. Yeah, I didn't realize that There was cleavage in that photo. Oh, yeah, whatever. That's what they all said It's I'm wearing that blue dress with the sparkles on it. Yeah, I know I realized that and doesn't look that good even like It wasn't even like good cleavage. It was weird cleavage. Really? You thought I think it was And then someone said you're not that cute. Oh, burn. Can you delete comments from people who think you're not cute? No, but yeah, you can follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,

sex with Emily, and menace is white menace. Yeah, it was just, the photo was really blown out. Because you know me, I don't like using flash. Somebody used a flash on you. And they put it. Made you look like a ghost. I was at a party. But you were showing cleaves.

And you're Instagram. I was at a party. You were with some fellow, some tall fellow. He's my baby daddy for my dog. Yeah. How's your? He has her now. He has my dog now because it's a very busy week.

How does the current guy you're dating deal with this? I don't know. Oh my god, they're like BFF, they love each other. We're all going to Mexico together. What effing planets you live on? I live in a planet where you date guys, you break up with them, they become your best friends and maybe your baby daddy to your dog, and then we all live in happily ever after. What the heck?

Oh my God, my baby daddy was on vacation just now and he was texting my current guy like all these pictures that he thought he'd like. They're super tight. That is just insane. I think that's healthy. No, it's not healthy. I think it's totally healthy. It's not healthy.

It's not healthy that my boyfriend. Take a survey. Take a survey. Okay, people, is it healthy that my ex boyfriend, who's one of my very best friends we dated eight years ago, is not big. Only eight years ago, I can understand like maybe you were a high school boyfriend and girlfriend. No, eight years ago was like so years ago, and then we're still best friends. And then my current guy, and they get along really well, and he doesn't want to be the

baby daddy to my dog. My current guy doesn't even like my dog, I don't think so I'm not any like somebody doesn't love her So anyway, he's got the dog right now, which is awesome My mom's company town on Thursday. We're going to Sonoma for the weekend Which will be great of course, but I did put cleavage right I told totally Sonoma We're gonna go to Sonoma mission in I'm gonna have a little spa. Yeah, your followers are gaining on there I just I looked on my way over here. Yeah, your followers are gaining on there. I just, I looked on my way over here. Yeah, you got like 625.

That's pretty good for somebody to just start it. You never take pictures? How many do you have? Like 2700 or something like that. Oh my God. But I've been doing it for a while. I know, and you do a lot of Instagrams. Yeah.

And then we've got that, and then we've got to mention that that's what we're gonna mention. Okay, how is Vegas? Vegas? I'm surprised you showed up and you're not in jail. I know, I loved it. I went a little too hard in the first day, because I was,

Dad always happens, this is your rookie move. No, just I was tired. I didn't get a chance to eat. The moment I landed, we went and saw Elton John in concert. In concert and it was effing amazing. Wow. He just played hits after hits and it was funny. The first thing he gets on stage while the band is playing.

The first thing he says, I just like to tell everybody that I fucking hate my management and they're all fucking fired. And then he goes and he sits down and he starts playing the piano. But he's joking. Oh, okay. And then there's like a, you know, when you see comedians and they have like a stool with some water and ice and stuff like that. And then there's like a, you know, when you see comedians and they have like a stool with some water and ice and stuff like that.

And that was like off to the side. So after he places his first song, he goes there and he takes this stool and throws it across the stage and ice and water flies everywhere. And he goes, that's how I feel about my management and then he starts playing again. And then he gets up just randomly during songs and throwing the stool again.

Like he had, like people would go and clean it up and then set it back up. He did six times throughout the show. Why though, I don't get why. It's just, he's just been funny. It's funny, he's funny. Oh, he's hilarious. He's so nervous.

He had to say, I love when they play their hits. Yeah, just nothing but hits. I don't want you like, I don't want you to be a new shit. No besides, it was just all hits. And then I saw Circus a la Elvis It was all Elvis. It was all Elvis music. Where was that not the oh aria? Okay, the new aria and all Elvis music and these guys I don't I don't understand like There's no like padding. It's just like imagine

Trying to do a back flip on To it while you probably love this but try and imagine three guys standing on top of each other like on their shoulders right. Three guys high and then they take this like little guy, they throw him up in the air, he does a back flip and land so it's four guys high and there's crazy. It's like imagine like doing that on like a wood floor. That's what they're doing. There's no like. I know. They're amazing. I've seen Cirque du Soleil a bunch. It's crazy. Insane insane And then I went to the wicked spoon Which is a top notch buffet, you know at the cause of Paulton you got to check it out

And then I went to Freemontry old Vegas never been there before and it was amazing. That's so cool And then I'm going back next week. Did you meet any babes? No babes. I was I was with my friends. We weren't really. Any girls? I was with two girls. Oh, that you hook up with? No. Just girlfriends. Just girlfriends. Okay, and you're going back next week. I could not do Vegas two weekends in a row. Yeah. So I'll be back and then I'm going there for a bunch of billboard awards stuff. Oh, fun. And you leave on Friday. Yeah, but this time, it was a nightmare. I haven't not taken a non-direct flight in over 15 years. And then since I'm doing eight flights within this month,

I was like, oh, I'm gonna save some money and try a non-direct flight. F and nightmare, man. You stopped in a layer, something. Guess where I stopped? I stopped in F and Phoenix, man. Oh my God. I was like, oh, I can do this.

No, no, it's bad. Because you're like you want to get there you want to get there Yeah, and you want to get home is crazy. There was so many stuff. I won't even share it But it was just you would be Discuss it with some people I had it's it next to my god, but at least you made it there's one guy I seriously almost punched them in the face seriously It was a 20 year old kid. Really? Why are you shooting the notches? Okay.

So I get on the fly. I'm sitting on the aisle seat. I get on there first. And this kid comes up and he goes, oh, I'm sitting over here. I go, okay, cool. So I get to stand up and try to walk into the aisle and he's blocking the aisle. I go, move out of the F and wait, dude. So I can get out of the way.

And then until I was like, a fuck it, I just jumped over my seat, like I walks in and then the guy that's sitting in the middle, he walks in right after him. So we all sit down. We're sitting down for a minute and a half. Then the kid goes, sorry, everybody, I gotta go pee. What?

After a minute and a half, then he goes, yeah, then he goes out and he goes, he comes back and then we're getting on to the runway. This guy decides to start picking up his phone and calling somebody and then the flight tenant goes, hey, can't do that. Yeah, we already said he's never flown before. No, no, he's just a freaking idiot, the world's most annoying person. Then he starts dialing, starts trying to call somebody and the flight attendant's like, hey, you can't do that. He goes, oh, okay.

Then once a flight attendant walks away, he tries to get on the phone again, and the flight attendant comes back, he goes, hey, you can't use that right now. Right, now little. It goes, okay, okay, he's still trying to talk on the phone, and then finally, he got the guy to stop, right? Right.

Then we take off, we're 10 minutes in the effing air, okay? Then the kid says To me and the guy sitting in the middle goes hey Hey guys, can I can I ask you huge favor and you can totally say no, it's cool But can you buy us some alcohol? Like if you man, I'm ready to murder you vitally. There's no way I'm gonna let you know No, I'm not gonna buy this A hole. Right. Oh my God, that's crazy.

Yeah, yeah. What do the other guys say? The other guy's like no way. No way, you sure, guys. That's annoying. I can't stand people on the airplane. I have a rule. Yeah.

When I fly, I do not look left. I do not look right if I'm in the middle. Whatever, I don't talk to anybody because I do not want to make friends on the airplane. Because it's by one time where I can get a lot of stuff done, my phone's not ringing. I can focus and I don't talk to anybody because I do not want to make friends on the airplane because it's my one time where I can get a lot of stuff done. My phone's not ringing, I can focus and I don't want to make new friends and I don't want to talk to anybody. Really? No, I love talking to people.

I hate it. I don't want to know your whole life story, never see you again. I don't care. Oh. Because I'm Uber productive. I just want to take like a 15 hour flight. Everyone can think you're stuck up. Does people try to talk to you?

I can't shit. I don't know. I don't pay attention. But if I could fly for 15 hours straight somewhere, I would get everything done on my to-do list because my phone won't be ringing, my whatever, and I love flying. And for that reason.

Man, no, but I was, I befriended this old couple. They were cool. We talked about it. You're nice person, stuff like that. You're nicer than I am. Yeah, yeah, totally. Right, not really nicer than I am. No, I'm nicer to everybody else.

Just, you know, I give you a hard time and you take it to heart, God. I know, That's what people like making fun of me, I think, because I do take it. Yeah. I take it so deep. So today's show, we'll be talking about seven dating disasters, the type people that you should not date, we'll also be talking about some sex in the news and some emails from the people. So I went to a party at Stern Grove, I'm Friday night. Have you ever been out there? Stern Grove? Isn't that in Los Angeles? No, it's near where you went to lived.

Where you used to live. It's on 19th and slow. Really? Yeah. I think there's a place in out like called... Stern Grove is like, is all this music festivals, but they have this like house. Oh yeah, yeah.

Isn't it like super cold there? Yes, but it was indoors. Thank you. Because I wasn't gonna go. I'm like, I don't do outdoors in the evenings, in San Francisco, ever. Yeah, yeah. And it was fun. It was a birthday party and I wasn't gonna go. I'm like I don't do outdoors in the evenings in San Francisco ever. Yeah, it was a house and it was it was fun. It was a birthday party and I wasn't invited But I went with a friend who had a plus one. Wow, whatever it was really fun And I drank and I needed to get out of the house because I've been working my butt off

So it was fun. It was a good time, but um, but I don't know. I was just sharing that because String Grove. That's really cool. Well, that is really cool. So I'm trying to think there was something else. I don't know what it is right now. So I can just get into anything. You do anything else over the weekend? Yeah, I was Friday night. I went to that party. Saturday night, Saturday day, I went to the office all day long.

And I worked. Really? Yes. And I, Saturday night, I worked as well. It was not very fun. And then Sunday, I went to the Louress Park, even though it was cold. The Louress Park is like this park in the city that everyone goes to. It's just getting packed, man.

It's packed every weekend. But I went and met some friends, had to do the dog extra, had to hand the dog off to the baby daddy. So we had some wine. How does he deal with that? For all my friends are going to like stop drinking for a month. So I don't know. Really? Again. So I don't know how I think about that because I'm not a big drinker. But I was thinking of doing that. So then we drank yesterday a little bit so it was fun It was a nice weekend and I'm just excited about all the good things

Yeah, man You're gonna be on TV, dude. That's crazy a national television show. I don't even know how to process that on a popular network Like it's not like you're gonna be on some local television station or something or like a network that people don't really watch. Like Bravo is a pretty big F&N network. Anything that I blog about Bravo is huge. I know. I know. I know it's big. Today Bravo sent out, you saw the press release they sent out. They described the first episode where I say monogamy is an epidemic. Yeah, then my brother comes to town. Oh, can you read it? Do you have the press? Yeah, I can read it.

I can read it personally. So are there the press release for people? Are people to people care? Yeah, while you're pulling that up I want to say what's up to Brianna who I actually went to high school is she lives up in Seattle and she hit me up on Facebook says she found the podcast and she loves it No way. She just found it and didn't know is you? I don't know how she found it. No way, she just found it and didn't know it was you. I don't know how she found it. I mean, you know, I don't know how she found it, but she found it. That's awesome. I'm trying to think how she could possibly find it.

How would you run with people like sex? Okay, here's what the press release says for misadvised. It's just coming up right now. It's from by NBC Universal. Yeah. Wrote this press release and it says, Bravo Media premieres misadvised, a docu series about three

single relationship experts who make a living dispensing dating advice but struggle to make their own love connections on Monday, June 18th at 10pm. Partnering with Relativity Real and Ashley Tisdale's Blondie Girl Productions, the series files Julie Allison and Los Angeles, Amy Lawrence and New York and Emily Morrison San Francisco, as they maneuver through the dating world disregarding their own advice, which is not true. When it comes to falling in love, these experts seem to practice what they preach. In the premiere episode, dating calmness Julia Allison makes a big move to Los Angeles on

the quest to find Mr. Wright with a 73-point checklist to guide her. Julia is ready to settle into a storybook romance of her dreams. Matchmaking Maven Amy Lawrence has built an empire in New York City by bringing perfect matches together all thanks to the rules. But when an old flame comes back to town she struggles to follow her own guidelines. Finally, radio host and sex expert Emily Morris is on a life mission to help people have better sex. She proclaims that monogamy is an epidemic, but when her happily married brother comes to visit, Emily admits it should be open to falling in love.

That's the first episode preview. Nice. Nice, and menace is in the first episode, give me shit. Funny. What? No. It's true.

Nothing but a sweetheart. You're amazing in the show, actually. No. You're hilarious. It sucks because you got to see a lot of the footage. I did. I got to see a lot of it I get to see any I know but you well

Okay, we're gonna have a screening party too in the city if you're around, but I don't know where yet All right, let's get into sex videos Okay robot prostitutes. It's only a matter of time sex robots Will revolutionize the sex tourism because they do not spread disease and they can't be sold into sex slavery. These are just two of the advantages of robot prostitutes will be edging out their human competition in the sex tourism market by the year 2050. Many believe there is no way sex robots can replace sex workers because there is no way to duplicate sex. However, according to research, sex tourists will shell out about 10,000 euros for services ranging from massage

and lap dances to fall on robo inner courses. Who the hell didn't want to receive the robot? But the same people who are going to want to sleep with a average fake vagina. Yeah, yeah, people are doing dolls all the time. I don't know if you ever go on this thing called YouTube and you type in some robots. What is the suit that you speak of? But in Japan, they're making some pretty insane stuff. And there's like life.

It's like we're all looking. Yeah, they're life-like robot women and guys and stuff like that. And they look pretty legit. And well, they're talking about 2050. That's a long time away. That's a little while away. But right now, it's still pretty, pretty lifelike. I know people do what they have.

And the question is, would you have sex with the male robot if a robot would be able to? I have to say it's penis first. They must, if they're making a male robot, he must have a nice robust penis. I'm sure he does. Yeah, I don't think I would. It's on my list.

It's on my bucket list, but for research I would. Yeah, but what about if the robot just like complemented you constantly? Really? Do you think they could program to say is on my bucket list, but for research, I would. Yeah, but what about it, the robot just like complemented you constantly? Really? Do you think they could program to say that you're really hot? You look pretty nice, Rack, that kind of thing?

Oh, you look amazing today. Oh, maybe it would. Yeah, and now I'll see you later open. That's it, it's much. Yeah. And it's so funny, because my ex Baby Daddy was telling my current, like just compliment her all the time, like he was saying the same thing.

I love compliments, what the hell? And, and you know what, what's cool about the robot, you don't have to ever feed them. You don't cook. You have no food in your house. It's perfect. It's a match. I had no food mass. I was starved yesterday.

It's a match made in robot heaven. That is a match made robot heaven. Okay. Women violates penal law. Okay. Upstate New York police are buzzing with anger after a woman through a pink sex toy that hit an officer in the head. The cops went to the home of Lisa aged 47 on a complaint of an unwanted person in the

home. Anderson threw a pink sex toy towards officer Jonathan Pitts and struck him in the forehead. The cop was not injured but he handcuffed Anderson in charge of it with a misdemeanor. Okay, I want to know what kind of sex toy it was. It could have been a Jimmy Jane, because a lot of their sex toys are pink. Well, she's lucky that she didn't get shot, man. Why was she masturbating like why'd she have a sex toy

in her hand? Maybe she just had it like laying around and she just threw it at the cop. That's crazy. But yeah, she's lucky, man. She's just trying to be more than shot for less. I know. Oh my god, I have an awful story

that I might share after this. Okay. Study says men like cuddling more than women. Not for less. I know. Oh my god, I have an awful story that I might share after this. Okay. Okay. Studies says men like cuddling more than women. I was shocked by this one. I like cuddling. It's just like at certain points.

I just don't like. Men is like cuddling for 35 seconds. No, I just like it. I like cuddling when we're not having sex. After sex, I don't want to cuddle. It's just too hot and sticky and get the f off me, man. Well, experts at the Kinsey Institute recently conducted a study of straight middle-aged couples and long-term relationships. Among the findings was a surprising fact that frequent kissing

and cuddling was a major predictor of happiness for the men in the relationships, but not for the women. The study also revealed that men who had a higher number of sexual partners were less likely to be happy with their current sexual situation. That just shows that we have too many options, too many sex partners and it's reading people's sex life. Yeah, so you should get married. But I'm surprised, I might. I'm surprised that.

Oh, you might, wow. I think I'm married one day. Wow. I just want to, I just want to write a story and get new knives or something. Oh, that's what's going on. You want all the benefits? I just feel like I've get new knives or something. Oh, that's what's going on. You want all the benefits? I just feel like I've been to so many weddings. All my friends got married.

A lot of my friends are not. That's not true. Half my friends are married. I've thrown them parties, bachelor at parties, bought them presents. It's fun. What the hell have I gotten? Nothing.

I need new knives. Toaster oven. You can be like a Kardashian. Just get married for like 40 days or 70 days, whatever it was. Right. Just do that. And you can keep all the gifts. That's just for like 40 days or 70 days, whatever it was right to do that And you can keep all the gifts. That's what I feel like I should get the gifts But I don't know that I want to get married. I got to turn on the fan. You keep on talking. Okay women injured during sex on business trip gets workers Compensation wow she was injured having sex and Australian female one compensation for an injury sustained while having sex on a business trip.

The Australian federal court ruled she was entitled to a compensation claim for a facial and psychological injuries. What? Suffered when a light fixture fell off the wall and on top of her in a motel room where she was having sex. The woman suffered injuries to her nose, mouth, and a tooth from the glass hitting her face because the woman had been on a business trip that judged me the decision to commentator for the incident.

Uh, this is a bunch of crap, man. Would you ever want your boss to know that you were having sex on a business trip and then the chandelier hit you on the ever-ever hell of a wife? Well, I'm a guy, so it's probably different. Like, my bosses were probably gonna be props or something. You've been waiting to be the weighty of the lady that I know. were probably give you props or something. I'm sorry. I don't believe that she should have gone after her work. I think that's totally wrong. I think she should have gone after the hotel that a chandelier that wasn't properly installed. I know. Well, that's true too. And she probably didn't

have to mention she's having sex. She could have said she was lying on the bed reading a book. Yeah, but maybe she was pulling on the chandelier. Maybe it's her fault. Maybe she had a sex when he attached to it or something. Yeah, but I think that's wrong. Yeah. Yeah, I think so too. I just wanted to share that. Do you have any other sex than using

anything pop culture you want to be? I had something. Honestly, I flew in, got home at midnight and then I had to be on the radio at six. That's crazy. All my friends hear you. They're like, I heard menace on the radio this morning. I'm serious. All my friends hear you. What? They're like, it's menace on the radio. That's crazy. All my friends hear you. They're like, I heard menace on the radio this morning. I seriously?

All my friends hear you. What? They're like, it's menace on the radio. That's crazy. I know, isn't it funny? You don't listen though. I don't know how to wake. I'm in disagne.

If you were on radio. I listen, but I never wake in time. If you were on some radio station, I can just pop on and listen. I would listen. I listened to the podcast. You don't listen to the podcast. You listen to the podcast after the podcast? Not right after. I have to go back. So I'm going back and like, I would listen. I listened to the podcast, you don't listen to the podcast. You listen to the podcast after the podcast? Not right after.

I have to go back. So I'm going back and I'm going to post a bunch because it'll be 433 shows. And only like 136 are available now. So I've been going back to the olden days and looking at the old timing podcasts with you and I at all of our old stuff and they'll be funny.

There's some good shows that those will be available to people soon. And you're gonna let your ass off. You can kind of see the progression of our old stuff and they'll be funny. There's some good shows that those will be available to people soon. And you're gonna let us off. You can kind of see the progression of our relationship. And I used to not talk, that was better. Okay, then I'll just stop talking. I'm just kidding. No, it was awesome.

Okay, we've got some emails. From the peeps, my favorite. Yeah, thanks everyone for emailing us at feedback. It's sexwithemily.com. Oh, I gotta apologize. I know people are emailing and trying to meet up with me in Vegas. Oh, yes, someone emailed you.

I apologize. Was it for this week and always it for next week because I mentioned I was gonna be both weekends. Oh, do you respond to the email? I didn't have a chance to look at it because I was really in a rush to get out of town. Someone was like, oh my God, my boyfriend's obsessed with menace.

And I apologize. Maybe you should just let him have the illusion of not actually meet you. Why? I'm a party when he meet me. I'm obsessed with menace. And I apologize. Maybe you should just let him have the illusion of not actually meet you. Why? I'm a party when he meet me. I'm just kidding. But yeah, so I apologize if I if I missed you in Vegas over the weekend.

If you're going this weekend, then I am willing to do some meetups. There's actually gonna be a lot of listeners from like a bunch of shows that I've been on that are actually gonna be B in Vegas this week I'm going for concert. I'm going for the billboard thing. Yeah, yeah, and then so so it just happens that a lot of people are gonna be in Vegas So I think that you should go to should just come out my mom's here this weekend let loose bring your mom She wouldn't like it. She'll be a party. She wouldn't like it. I'll take her to all the great places

That'd be fun. I'll take her to Man'll see Manolo. Donnie Marie are playing. Mary Manolo. Yeah. I love Mary Manolo. Yeah. Oh, Mandy. When you kiss me, stop me from shaking. See?

You guys have a grand old time. And Donnie Marie. I know I saw them all over Vegas when we were there. God, I love to see that. Everyone just kind of dies and ends up in like, Lil' Osce, they get paid. They get big a lot of money. But it's like, you don't go to Vegas until your career's almost over.

And you just cash out. You just cash out big time. That's fine, whatever. I'll go there. Well, did we do it? Menace and Al, we're doing it from Vegas. You and Parkas. Well, that's the dream for-

That is our dream. On the road. I mean, I kind of came a little bit earlier. You're gonna kind of go on the road. We're gonna go on the road. I would love to do the dream on the road. I mean, I kind of came a little bit of it. You're going to kind of go on the road. We're going to go on the road. I would love to do the podcast on the road. I mean, let's say, you know, you do the television show, it blows up in millions of people.

Don't worry, we'll remember the OG. I'm going to remember our dreams. The original, the new people that we don't know. You know, people that just jump on, but we'd love to do the show like on the road and just have people come out and watch it and we can actually like drink and party and it would be a good time. I know.

I'd love it. We'll get drunk. Yeah. At the time we did that other show drunk. That was fun. What? No. Yeah.

We wasted. We were wasted. Okay. But it was a good show. I listened. We didn't sound dumb. We didn't sound that dumb. Really? You did a little bit. I didn't. Well, you're trying to keep me in check. I was being a little more vulgar than you. You were like, oh my God. What did you say? I was talking about like dropping loads on chicks or something like that. Yeah, you were just crazy out of control. Okay, emails. Dear Emily, I'd like to preface this by saying that I agree with menace I'm probably 85% of the issues you two disagree on

Don't you know it's a trend lately of like I don't know why I'm reading this but I don't agree with his definition of hooking up Well, I think it can include sex it does not necessarily mean sex for me It generally implies everything that is more than kissing and less than intercourse But it seems that definition is evolved over the years to include sex also I do agree with him however that it is something women used to remain ambiguous about the details of their sexual endeavors goddamn right keep up with the good work love the show Rob from New York New York he's a friends with them yeah okay that's who the hell agrees with you 85% of the time?

A lot of people. I mean, I won the hook up battle on Twitter. No, you didn't. I got way more people tweeting saying that hooking up is sex more than hooking up. It could be just making out. I don't think you want it. I did.

Do you want me to tell you tweets? No, don't tell her. I have extra time on my hands. But we have this issue that like if you say I hooked up with this person, doesn't mean you would intercourse or does it mean you just like felt their boobs or something? Boobs. I think it's first, second and third base. Yeah.

Whatever. Okay, hey Emily, I find it hard to, or get to come, ejaculate during intercourse or oral sex. Hands jobs usually work and sometimes she is on top that works too. I have no trouble getting and staying hard but we usually both wear out before I get there. Any advice I've seen two doctors and all they've done is prescribe sealis. This is incredibly frustrating. I hope you can help. Okay, so it's kind of common that men are unable to orgasm during intercourse or oral sex,

but it's nice that hand job is work for you because hand jobs can be great and will make you give you a hand job, you use lots of loobs both of our hands, and I would just wondering if there's any, how are you able to orgasm during masturbation? I'm wondering if you're able to masturbate yourself to orgasm and then if it's only a problem in the bedroom because a lot of time to get in our head, it's sort of a psychological issue and you're so afraid you won't be able to come, that you won't be able to come, that you won't be able to come because it's in your mind. So I would say practice while you're masturbating and see like what you do, like what are the moments when you're about to masturbate other things that you could do

There's nothing wrong with having sex getting her off pulling out having her give you a Handjob or something and then you orgasm like a lot of women can't orgasm during intercourse, but There's other ways to do it men go down and or whatever But I think it's good that you've seen two doctors. I would see two more I don't know if you don't want to take any meds, Seattle seems to work, but I don't know that Seattle is going to help you orgasm. I'm sure this is really frustrating and I understand. I would just say that you got to work, you got to work. Have you ever happened to your men

that you weren't able to orgasm? No, you probably are always able to orgasm when you drink too much. I've had that much. Yeah, probably drinking too much. But I didn't have whiskey, we know I was able to stay erect. I just, you know. I was with a guy once who just took him 45 minutes and that was a thing. It just took him that long or an hour.

And it is kind of frustrating. And I think that in your situation, just like women who can't orgasm drink in a chorus have to use a vibrator. They have to have their partner go down on during intercourse have to use a vibrator, they have to have their partner go down on them, they have to do other things. I would say for you that there's if a hand job gets you off, then pull out, have her give you a hand job after she has an orgasm or however you get her on, you find. Flasio. Flasio, what? Does Flasio does a work either? Oral

sex doesn't work for him. I got look into this more. But I think. Yeah, I guess I think what actually turns a modern and start thinking about that because. Can you start fantasizing exactly during sex? Is, are there, what do you think about when you're masturbating? Because that's the key that I need to know here. Are you able to masturbate and get off in 10 minutes? Five minutes.

Guys, can you usually get off really quickly during masturbation? Yeah. How quick? This quick is a really wanna go. How long do you should go? It just varies. It depends on like how long you want to go. If you're like, oh, I only got like a couple minutes. Okay. Then you just knock it out. Right. So if you can master, if you can think about what you think about when you masturbate or some other fantasies. Also, maybe there's some other stuff that you need.

Maybe there's a kinkier side to you. Maybe you want to be dominated. Maybe you want to be the dominator. Maybe you want her to be the submissive. Maybe there's other things you could do. Maybe there's some of your fantasies and you want to bring them into real life. Maybe those will get you off. Maybe you just need a little more stimulation.

What was I going to say? I was trying to think of another way. Doctors don't going to say? I was trying to think of like some... Dr. Stone, no. Doctors don't know. Yeah, I was trying to think of another way, but we've pretty much recommended everything you can do, yeah? Yeah, I think so. That's a lot of recommendations. And I do, again, so much of sexual issues are in our head. Our hot rocks are awesome. Yeah, maybe try some hot rocks.

Hot rocks is amazing. It's a natural libido enhancer. It's hot rocks, R-A-W-K-S. They have a 30-day money back guarantee and it gives men more stamina, harder erections and more intense orgasms. It the pills take a little while to kick in, but I've been taking them and I've definitely noticed an increase in my libido. So check it out, 30-day money back guarantee

you've got nothing to lose there. Or try ejaculoid. No, that doesn't, that doesn't even exist. I can't remember it does I mean I've never seen a person but they sold it in the cash row and one of my co-workers saw it and we started talking about He's like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna just try it and then he bought it and he said it increased his In his load, but he's having a problem actually going over and have a hard time. Yeah, but I'm just thinking if you're backed up, it may be easier. We're trying to work it out here. We're trying to work it out here, John. John, we're doing our best.

John's from Chicago, Illinois. Oh, my favorite love Chicago. Chicago. Okay, hi, Emily. I just want to say thank you for putting out your iPhone app for keg-al-actor sizes. It's great to see the reminder and do my keg-al at work and with headphones. It has helped improve my sex life and awareness of the different muscles around my groin, perennium, and prostate and get better with using them.

I've also started dating a sex therapist. More than dating, I've become poly along with her and her husband and having her secondary primary partner. I think the work you guys do in the field is monumental. You truly help improve lives. I do have a question for you though. Have you thought of either creating a new app or adding onto your kegdle app some sort of tongue exercises? Having a daily reminder guided exercise and increasing difficulty levels is very helpful. I struggle the most with remembering to do the exercises

if you did something like that out there. I would definitely pay for that product. Much love and thank you for you all have done and helping me along my journey. Best wishes, Aaron. Oh, that's so sweet. I have an app called Kegel Camp. It's for men and for women, and it strengthens your PC muscles, which actually might not be bad for John and Chicago, Illinois, with his issues. But Kegel exercises, doctors prescribe them.

They're good for men and women. And the best thing about my app besides the sound of sound of my voice walking you through it is the fact that there is a daily reminder it says every day time for kegel camp and you do it for five minutes and your sex life will improve. That's what I've got. I'm still working on the dunk dunk truck everybody I've gotten I've gone thousands of emails. No you have not gotten thousands of emails.

About the development of the sex toy that I'm coming out with called the dumb truck. And the fire issue is gone, but now it's just trying to find the power to last. That's so sexy, the dumb truck. Yeah, I really want to try to go green, maybe some solar power. Yeah, solar power and solar power. I've heard of solar power vibrators, but that's...

No, hey, what they probably have to to have a solar power stand or something. Yeah, minus, I think you should do it. It's a million dollar idea. It's time to do it. Let's do it. Stop talking about the dumb truck and just be about it. All right. Okay, so we're going to talk about the seven dating disasters.

If you find yourself dating any of these seven types of people, you should run for your life. Now, I'm not saying you should run and you should totally break up with them, but just notice, are you dating anyone with these traits and it could be the problem? So first is the karma chameleon. This is someone who changes themselves for every relationship based on the other people's influence. Unfortunately, some people tell lies are exaggerate to seem better than they think they are or appear more likeable. They pretend to be more honest, more successful, kinder, younger, and non-smoker when they are a smoker

and more empathetic than they really are. So how do you recognize this person? This is the kind of person who, you know, you just notice that you bring them with your friends, they're one person, you just come to your boss, he's another person or she's another person. So have you ever dated one, you kind of change in all different types of situations?

Yeah. They get the odds. Yeah, I hate it. Okay. The next is who's the boss? This is someone who feels that the way they think and operate is the right way to live. Anyone who doesn't understand this can't fit around their lifestyle and opinions of how they think others should behave towards them is wrong and needs change.

These people are overly sensitive to their own needs and they think they are incredibly kind and caring towards others. They will gently or otherwise demand that you act the way they think you should and if you don't, they sulk or shout you out and tell you apologize and come by the way they're thinking. These are like, more like traits in people. Yeah. I work with people like this in my life. I talked to somebody just recently and they're in a relationship and they're trying to figure out living with each other because one of them is not really into compromise. But they haven't, that person hasn't lived with somebody before. They don't know how it works.

Yeah, it's you have to learn. You have to be able to compromise. You have to learn. You have to be able to compromise. It's all about compromising, and it really is. And so many things, everything's right, their own way, like I can't stand someone like that for more than five minutes.

I don't, you know, I think they're always right. You're kind of like that, but. Yeah, but I'm at least I am right. Oh God, this is the problem. Don't date menace. No, just kidding. Okay, the aesthetic seeker. This is the type of data who chooses the potential date based on

coveted covertly analyzing via Google or Facebook that their dates, their dates partner suitability status. Finding out if possible, the person's credit score, arm candy score, social business and lifestyle status and their vulnerability to psychological manipulation. Their catch cry, how can this person improve my lifestyle ambitions? So this person's only after you for what they think you can offer, and they're not really into them, they're not really, they're like using you.

Yeah. So how do you spot this person? They know way too much about you on the first date, and they're always trying to like come along with all of your issues. Or they just, yeah, they bring up things that you do and they're like oh, I love to go Yeah, I want to go with you on a beauty you want to whatever don't let them use you Okay, I know I can spot those a million months away because I'm around them all the time

So people who like suck up to you because they think that you can do shit for them. Yeah, that's annoying Okay, we don't like those people the co-dependent. This is a big one The person is constantly seeking your approval and reassurance that you like them and want to be with them. They look for ways for you to pay them compliments. Ask for your opinion, and as they don't seem to have a solid one of their own, they call text or email you excessively prior to the first day, if you've met online. It's sweet in the beginning, but these people are space invaders.

You will soon get sick of their catch cry. Hi, it's me again. So co-dependency is a much larger issue. And it's when one person has certain weaknesses and the other person sort of gets off on them. So it's like, man, it's if you weren't alcoholical, and you're dating, and I would be like, make my life your alcoholism, like that would be my problem.

And it's a really unhealthy way to attach people because you should keep your own dependence and not make the other person's problems your own. It's okay to have concern or empathy, but when you become like that, like ever present force, that's just like constantly obsessing on something. Yeah, no. And then you totally screw up your own life trying to help them and then two people are after. Like I've gone through that before where I want to, I see somebody that I'm wish like struggling through something and I'm not focusing on what I have to do to get by. Exactly. And I'm trying to help them. So you were codependent then. You were being the codependent trying to have that person.

I've done that actually like two times. Yeah. It's a common look at obvi people. If you think you're in a codependent relationship because there's actually like support groups like AA it's're in a codependent relationship because there's actually like Support groups like a a it's like called like codependence no more. There's a book called codependence no more and it's really Drug issue, but it was just like drugs is the first thing they can't know in my mind But it could be anything. Yeah, I was just like oh somebody in their The career or they're like going through school or anything like that and you're like help them like finish their projects There's something like that and you're like fuck,. You want to help them, like, finish their projects or something like that, and you're like, fuck, you know, you have a full-time job.

Right. You have things that you have to do too, and it's like taking away from that, and then that screws you up. Exactly. And sometimes the absence of your own pleasure, you almost, in a codependent sort of, they don't want to look at their own issues, so they want to project it all, like, oh, I don't have any, I'm just going to look at your issues, so I I take care of you, my partner, and not my own stuff. So it's just not.

And I went through it once like hardcore, and I learned my lesson, and then I was going through it again in another relationship. And then what's cool is I learned from the first one. So I just knew one to bail. That's so good. I mean, so many people keep dating the same type of people over and over again. And we're going to do a show on that too. We have in the past, but also relationship patterns. That's a good one. So, okay, the next one is liar, liar. This type of data is emotionally dangerous. They tell stories and have truths to conceal what's going on in their life.

They won't discuss in detail their past and their life is supposedly full of huge money making opportunities they are working on, frequently dropping names of influential people they know to make themselves look important. Keep you away from meeting their family and only introduce you to a select group of their friends in a way to ensure you don't get the story on them. They usually avoid prolonged eye contact

when in conversation and when questioned or pulled up in inconsistencies, quickly change a subject or bring up a diversion. Usually something that you have done wrong in the past. Their catch cry is, how can you not believe me? I dated this kind of guy. He was like a liar. He was making all this money, blah, blah, blah.

And like I never met any of his people. And he was total free. It was scary as I feel like I have some of those traits. Not the lying part and not the looking in the eye part. But it's kind of hard because, you know, if you're working entertainment, yeah, you're around Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa or Katy Perry and stuff like that.

And it feels like you're, if you're not talking to somebody that works in the same industry, it's that you're name dropping, you know? And it's like, how do I talk about how Katy Perry came into my work and drew a dick on the bathroom stall? Like, how do I do that where it's like, how do I talk about how Katy Perry came into my work and drew a dick on the bathroom stall? Like, how do I do that where it feels like I'm not name dropping? You do name drop.

How do I do it with that? How do I tell a story of what's going on without feel like I'm name dropping? I guess, well, if that's the only thing that you're not doing. This is what I do for a living. These are the people that I'm around all the time. I know, but you like talking about it. I do like talking because I think that's a funny story. That is a funny story. But if I met some, if I make this Matt Katy Perry,

and there was like nothing to talk about, but you're not lying. This person frequently drops names of influential people that they know, they probably don't even really know them. Like you really met Katy Perry. Yeah. I don't think you're a liar, liar. No, I just, yeah, I just, I don't know.

I get accused of that sometimes when I'm talking to like my old friends that, you know, do different things for a living. Right, they're like dig and ditches and you're like meeting Katy Perry. Yeah, I'm like, dude, I was like Kanye showed up and blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, no, I go, you like Kanye, you know?

I'm like, I'm trying to share a story with you on something that happened, but then I get a hard time about it. Yeah, but this liar liar is more about just like keeping you in a distance. You're not meeting their family and they tell stories of half truth. But I don't know how you don't slip into that.

How do you don't slip into me? You just have to be careful when you start dating someone that's some, because a lot of these people that were talking about can be very seductive. They know how to manipulate people and they know how to get you into the relationship with them and they're actually dangerous. So I think like the person that you like flip over right away,

everything's amazing and you're moving in together, there's a problem. In fact, I have a story that I wasn't going to tell. I'm not going to get in trouble in details, but I'm going to tell a little bit. All right. So there's a woman that I know and I just heard the that I wasn't gonna tell. I'm not gonna get into all the details, but I'm gonna tell a little bit. All right. So there's a woman that I know,

and I just heard the story yesterday, it's horrifying. She's two big dogs, like the big dogs. Like bull masses, almost like. Yeah, like the huge dogs. She was getting this guy, they fell madly in love with him a month, and he moved in with her.

Yeah. And one day he took her dog for a walk, one of her dogs. And in the middle of the night, the dog started having convulsions. And then the next day, he took the next dog for the walk, and the dog went missing. What?

Come to find out, the first dog was fed a patty with a hamburger patty with antifreeze in it. He didn't like the dogs. Kill the dog, and the second dog was found behind a dumpster with sticks in his eyes. What the f- True, this is all true. No way. Kill their dogs. Wow.

Isn't that crazy? It's real. It's true. Like my friends were like, that's not true and it's totally true. Damn, that's crazy. I know. So just watch out for the people who want, when it moves quick. I don't think that it's ever a good idea to move in together for a month. Yeah, that's insane

I know isn't sad. Okay, you know sick man people are sick of the world It's crazy because it's kind of do background check. I mean it is kind of hard to You know get a vibe like that some people you know you can't even tell at all some you get a vibe right away You're like okay, this this person's kind of freaky, you know? But yeah, it's scary, man. It is scary. Love is blind. That's why my mom always said love is blind.

And what they mean by love is blind is that we are think we're so in love and our hormones are racing and the serotonin. And you can't actually see that this person is insane. And if a girl or a girl says, yeah, I'm kind of crazy. She's telling you straight up, she is crazy. If a girl says that, yeah, she's crazy. If a guy says, oh, you know, I get crazy sometimes. That's a warning sign right there.

Don't tell you who they are, you just have to listen. Yeah, don't just like let it blow on by. If they say that, it's like, hey, you know, maybe this is not a person I wanna. That's true, people will tell you who they are, you just have to listen. Yeah. Okay.

Then we've got the serial data. This type of data is barely out of one relationship and looking for another. They hate being by themselves and see companionship at virtually every waking hour. They seek to get into a long-term relationship very quickly. The relationships are usually short-lived as they haven't dealt with why the last relationship didn't work or the one before that. There was always something wrong with the last partner and it's never their fault. They will look to have commitment from you quickly and appear to be extremely caring, giving, interested in you and your dreams. However, when they feel they have

secured the relationship, they become quite dismissive of you, dismissive of you, and what you're trying to communicate So just watch out for the person who's Really should move too quickly. Okay, that's what we got for you today. What what what what okay? Thanks everyone anything else we want to talk about oh, I know I was gonna say that one more thing is Yesterday was Mother's day right? Yes.

And I try calling my mom twice. She didn't pick up. She called me after. Oh, good. I'm glad you shocked your mom. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't get to talk to her yet. Okay.

I was flying. So it made me think, well, I talked to my mom. I said happy Mother's Day. And I was kind of freaking out because I was telling you what the TV show. But do you know that we've had this age-old debate about how women don't perform oral sex on men once they came here?

Okay. Well, there's this product called mask, M-A-S-Q-E. It's like a listering strip that masks the taste of semen. And for some women, it's the taste associated with phlasio that can make oral sex less and enjoyable. So they take this mask strip and it remains active for 15 minutes and finishes with a cool minty note. Comes in four flavors, chocolate, strawberry, mango, and watermelon, and the goal of mask

is to bring you and your partner closer together inside the bedroom out. And I have a bunch of them in my office. They taste awesome. And seriously, I have a lot of friends like this. They just don't like it. And if it is the taste at all that you don't like, just pop this strip in. Masked the taste of semen. That's how to kill it yet.

No tequila flavor, but I'll put it in a request. So thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Family. It was good for you. Email me feedback at sexwithfamily.com. Thank you.