Sex With Emily - SWE: Dirty Talk

Episode Date: July 3, 2012

Honesty may be the best policy, but honesty in relationships are like deep sea diving: if you want to survive, you’ve got to know your limits. Today Emily lays out the five things you don’t want to know about your partner’s sex history.Then it’s back to basics, and why you should just pick up the phone and ask her out already. A man whose wife just admitted that she's never had an orgasm with him, and Menace lays out his tried and possibly true method to getting over performance anxiety. Craving oral sex tips? This episode’s got ‘em, as well as one night stands and the basics of talking dirty.Please support out sponsor: Masque: Sexual Flavors Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is brought to you by one of our amazing sponsors, Mass Sexual Flavor Strips. They enhance your sexual experiences with a taste of strawberry, mango, watermelon, or chocolate. It's kind of like a mystery strip, but for sex. So if you like sex and you want to make it even more enjoyable and you like hearing sex with El Me For Free, check out Mass at mask at sexualflavors.com. Enjoy the show. I promise your sex life will improve. They call them in a bag on me. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my!

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Avaline? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, Emily's not the kind of girl you just playing with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.

For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to our podcast, sign up for a mailing list, RSS feed, and look for some new special news coming soon. We got some big news coming. So, pay attention to that. Today's show, this is our 45-minute show, and we'll be reading the emails that you sent to feedback at sexwithemily.com. Some of the topics include a wife admits to her husband, she's never had an orgasm. Happy couple writes in about their sex life and how they make it work. An oral sex tip for women.

Performance anxiety and one-night stance. Those are some of the emails. Plus, we'll be giving you some sex tips. Five things you don't want to know about your boyfriend or girlfriend's sex history. We left that as a cliffhanger last time. We did. We never got around to it. Did we, Matt?

No. Hi. how you doing? I'm great. How's your week going? My week is really, really good. It's busy. What are you been doing? I've been doing a lot of. Or who have you been doing?

Who have I been doing? I haven't been doing it. Oh, God. I've been doing. Oh, Billy. I've been doing some sex, yeah. You've been doing some sex. I've been doing some sex.

I've been doing some of the sex. Yeah. I have to say that I have been doing some of the sex How's that been going? Yeah, it's okay. Do you think you can teach someone to talk dirty? Can you teach somebody to talk dirty? Yeah, is it a man? Do you think that it's something that you're born with? Okay. Well, here's the thing I was out with a friend last night who's married and he was saying that he really wants his wife to talk dirty And he's like she's assigned to it. He's like she used love. And he's like, that's not a really good dirty talk word.

So I was like, I don't know if you can, because then I've been with this guy, and he's like, doesn't like dirty. He doesn't know it, doesn't get it. Can you event, like, I think I'm a natural. Yeah. It just comes to me. I don't want to talk.

It's one of my gifts. No, that's different. Oh, okay. We think a trucker is good at dirty talk. They're good at swearing. Yeah. But I think that dirty talk I'm just a natural. I've picked it up over the years. I've had several sex partners. I wanted to and Take that part out. I've had several sex partners. No, I believe that

You can teach a man, but you can't teach a woman Really? That's the sexist in me, but I believe that yeah but you can't teach a woman. Really? That's the sexist in me, but I believe that, yeah. You can't teach a woman, because they might have some hate. They're not into it. They're not into it, but a man, I think a man, they are just not comfortable with it, but then they could get into it. Right. I wonder why this guy amdees like, yeah, I'm not that into it, I don't really get it.

So I'm not like going to teach him. And then this guy's wifey tried and she was like I love you. I love you I love you. He's like that's not hot. That's not that's bad. That is bad and So there's that and then I also We some announcements coming we big announcement coming in a few weeks, but we are gonna be doing more shows and I love people we're gonna going to start. Okay. So I get all your emails. I read them all. As you know, all the emails are people sent me.

I read. I don't necessarily have the opportunity to answer them all in the air, but I'm going to be writing some answers to them. So if people email me and they put Q and A in the subject line, I'm going to post it on Facebook. That means that you're cool with it. I won't use your name. And then we're going to start a forum on my Facebook page, which is Sex with Emily.

And my Twitter is also Sex with Emily, by the way. I just tweeted you. You just tweeted me. What's your information? It's white menace. That's so easy. White menace across the board. And now I'm almost sex with Emily across the board.

Yeah, that's good. That's good. Thanks. I've changed things. My social media expert. And so yeah. So okay. so I was also wondering if this my friend called me and he was like, he's doing some, he's a photographer and we're actually doing new headshots for the website and we're doing all this stuff and he was like, I really have, I've been flirting with

this woman that I met on Facebook and I want to ask her out, but it's been going back and forth. And I was like, just pick up the phone and call her. I feel like that, that, that the phone call used to be what we had to do, right? Before the internet and all that. And now when you get a phone call from a guy, it really makes a difference. It's like this novel approach. And I was like, just pick up the phone and call. I think it's like bold, like it says something because no one makes the phone call. Look, the phone calls become like this, this like other thing.

You know what I'm trying to say? What's the word? It's a, it's become like the special, like it's, it's become a statement. It's become like, if you, if you pick up the phone and call someone it's bold move, that's what I'm trying to say. It's like a bold, like don't do the emails and the, the tweets back and forth and the, and the, and the, uh, texting. Mm emails and the tweets back and forth and the and the to texting. And the text and the texting.

Yeah, pick up the phone and call like lately. I've had guys who have just picked up the phone and called me and I think that's so hot. Did you answer the phone every time? No, I think that's what the guys are afraid of that you're not going to pick up. Then you're in this weird zone because then you fear you fear that you look like a weirdo because you call twice in a row. Well, don't I didn't say call twice. I know, but I said to call once. Yeah. If you don't call twice. But then I get in his own like, damn, now I can't call her again because she didn't pick

up. Right. But a lot of times I don't pick up on the first time. And I don't and I don't leave messages. It's just a miss call for me. Really? See that's not good. I'm not gonna leave a message because I'm gonna sound like good tool. Why do you say that? I never leave messages do you? No, because I sound stupid. No, you don't. Hey, so I just wanted to call you because Because you're you're not prepared to leave a message. I'm not saying that you should ask her out in the message Just be like hey, it's menace. What's up? Call me back.

Blah, blah, blah. 555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 And here's my number. Yeah, I just can't think that that was really good advice that I gave to him and he was like, you're right. And he picked up the phone caller and they're going out because he's been emailing her for weeks and like, just call her get her numbers. They got her number number. I'm like, ask for her number and then call her because lately I feel like the phone, the phone call for a while was just like, you don't do it. But now when you do it, it means something special sometimes they.

And then in other news, I've got a building, an apartment building that I live in, and there's six units, and it's been overrun by lesbians. Yeah. And it's awesome, because they are all having sex all the time. Yeah, what do you tell them? And I don't think that people on my floor are having sex with the people below me,

but there's lesbians next to me, and there's lesbians below me. And the ones, I can't tell, it's hard in my building to tell if it's the ones below me or next to me, but there's lesbians next to me and there's lesbians below me. Yeah. And the ones, I can't tell it's hard in my building, tell if it's the ones below me or next to me, just the way the acoustics are. But seriously, they have sex all, you know, you was here about like lesbian bed death syndrome, how lesbians moving together and they, you know,

they don't have sex anymore. These lesbians are going at it. I mean, it's hot, like it's turning me on. Yeah. Like they're like having like orgasm after orgasm after orgasm and then there's like slapping. Like, I think they're into like, S&M. Sweet.

It's totally spiced up my whole life. I'm sure you have. So I come home, I'm like, when are the lesbians gonna get down again, you know? You should have a TV. So I'm like, hey, when are the lesbians gonna have sex again? You should have like a potluck in this meat everybody.

You think I should? Like, hey, you know, we're gonna have a class of one. I'll watch you guys have sex. Yeah, but everyone hates me because I'm really loud. Yeah. I'm the one with the five-inch heels. The lesbian's next door to me, always knock on my door and they're like, can you please take your shoes off?

Cause I have five-inch heels, so I think they hate me. But they're like hot, they're all hot. I can't believe it. So it's made my life a lot more fun. Interesting. Interesting. I think she'd become friends with them. I am. Say you need to do research.

I need to do research. Yeah. I'm not saying you have that sex with them, but at least, you know, get some war stories for us. Well, it's really interesting how the women having sex mean, obviously, I've seen like women having sex, like porn or whatever, but like they mean literally these these sex sessions go on. There's like the middle of the of the day like Saturday afternoon I'm cleaning my toilet and I'm hearing like scream like or like literally like one of the woman women goes and she'll have like three or four and then another woman has like three or four orgasms and it's just awesome. Wow. I know. And then you go those

tourist attractions. You're like those bitches having three orgasms. Seriously okay that's a whole another discussion. I should be a lesbian because I seriously think that women just know each other. We know the body. Oh, isn't that funny because maybe that's what I've been trying to say the whole time with the whole hand job debate. What? You just got caught right now. No, I didn't. We mean no other women. That's why I'm just saying I feel that a man would know how to give a hand job to

Himself better than a woman because he knows himself better No, no Boom shot the hat Know that's so different. I'm just saying you should have writing Variety no you're so wrong, men. That is one. We can put it to bed. Then we can't put it to bed because I can't tell you how many, oh, I'm someone's interviewing me.

Someone has a podcast and I can't remember their name right now. I'm sorry, I will plug you next week, but they're interviewing me on their podcast Sunday night and they're like, just want you to know, it's a dating podcast they have. And I think they live in the East Coast. It's like a husband and wife. And they have a dating podcast and they're like, we're on it But we just want you to know that we side with men is on the hand God damn right they do

Oh my god, no one understands why I'm right then because I am right. I'm not saying it's the old we're gonna Get into it now. Okay. I need one to get into it right now. So that's uh, yeah, so what's your nut week like? My week is Just full of work. I went out last night though, for dinner. It was cool. Just had a dinner. With a girl?

Yeah, with a girl. They would, I guess you can call it that. Did you have the cheese suck on your pizza after? No. No. No. OK. I take a slow with the ones that I like.

Yeah, but maybe she doesn't take a slow. Maybe she don't take a slow. the ones that I like Yeah, but maybe she doesn't take it slow, huh? Maybe I don't take it slow. So she you like her. Yeah, but where'd you take her to dinner? Some starbucks Starbucks Turkey right again. Look I don't know when you are your starbucks diet five minutes. That was good I wish I could do it, but I had to go to a bunch of parties right it was I love starbucks starbucks is amazing I love starbucks. amazing. I love Starbucks I'm not they don't sponsor me right. I wish they sponsored me

That would be an awesome sponsor but to get back to it is I'm not gonna go Out with a girl that needs to go to place that needs reservations. Oh God. I don't ask these men to Don't I you know it. Oh oh, here's something that came up. Okay. So here's another thing. So the sky's been dating. He's like, we've been dating on, well, we guess we've been dating for a few months.

And he is like, I just want you to know that I've planned everything that we've done and you have never made a plan. And I realize that that's true. And we're still in the early stages of dating. He's setting himself up for a disaster as well. I was like, dude, I don't plan anything. I'm not a plan. And I realized that that's true, and we're still in the early stages of day. He's setting himself up for a disaster. I was like, dude, I don't plan anything. I'm not a planner. I don't plan, and he was like,

I just like you to plan something. And I'm like, what do you want me to do? You can never ask, oh no. Which we go to Alcatraz for the day. What do you want to do? He is setting himself up for a disaster. You never can ask a woman, hey, what do you want to eat? I don't know, wherever you want to eat.

But he's saying after a few minutes of dating. That would be the you want to eat. But he's saying after that, that will be the response every single time. But he's saying after a few months dating that I have not made an effort. Made an effort? No. To make a plan. I don't think it's that. It's just natural that women, you don't ask them where to go. He's saying I shouldn't initiate. And be like, hey, why don't we go to the museum today or maybe we can go to the aquarium? Oh, no, so I didn't do that and I got in trouble. No, he's not he's just like whatever and I was like listen to it

I'm not a planner. I'll do a lot of other things. I'm really good in the sack. I feel like it's like you want to go in the sack Or do you want me to like take you to the zoo? What do you want? Yeah, you know, so I think in the sack But what am I gonna say? What was his response to that? What was his response to that? He was like, I said, listen, he's like, why don't you make a plan tomorrow? And then he called me in the morning,

because I said, so did you make a plan? I said, listen, I do not make plans. No, I didn't make a plan. I'm not seeing you today. I'm seeing you disaster every single time, fellas. Do not do it. I'm not sure.

Wasn't it a picnic, but I mean, the whole thing thing plan and I'm not a planner because I'm so busy And I'm always working all the time so I was like I'm just gonna see the thing is with women that would drive me Ethan crazy is Where do you want to go eat? I don't know anywhere. That's fine. Okay. We're gonna go here Man, I don't really want to eat there. Okay. Where do you want to eat? Uh, you know, just anywhere but that one place. Okay, let's go eat here. Uh, no You know where you want to have an eat. No, I don't know. I do. I do have an idea in your mind. I don't. I don't. I do. Men who are planners. I don't plan it and I don't care and I'm fine. I'll eat anything. Anywhere that takes reservations. Okay.

Well, that's a nice there. Those are the better restaurants home are they yes? No, it's all you walk into a place and it's empty. It's all really want to eat there It's all show empty show. Why isn't anyone doing there? I'm sorry. No, it's empty. You should watch that place over there. You need a Resurations here. It's empty. Yeah, let's have something. Yeah, I'd love to have some chicken. I should watch pen and tellers bullshit and they have the I'm sure you're not going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to And they're drinking and they're like, oh yeah, this is so good. And it's like two buck chuck You love this story. You've told this one about the two buck chuck and the wine and the thing No, I see you never listen to me. I'm just saying that I'm a fan of two buck chuck and now you're saying that I don't You've told me the story about how they're not this particular story about how there was like a wine tasting and then people think they know wine Maybe it wasn't you. It wasn't me. But I've heard that before.

Okay, let's move into some sex in the news. Go for it. We've got a lot of sex in these. And I appreciate a lot of listeners send me sex in the news, which makes my life a lot easier. So thanks everyone. You can always send me stuff. Feedback at sex with Emily dot com.

Okay, casual sex. Men and women not so different after all. There's new research that suggests women turn down offers of casual sex for one good reason. They suspect with some reason they won't enjoy it. However, these women are saying that when women are presented with prosper with proposals who are equivalent in terms of safety and sexual prowess, they will equally

likely as men to engage in casual sex. So it's saying that men and women women are more likely to engage in casual sex. However, the difference is that this whole evolutionary thing that focuses on, so for example, women are more choosy about their partners because they're looking for men who are likely to stick around and provide support during their child-waring years. Men, on the other hand, have an evolutionary sense of to spread their seeds. So that whole evolutionary thing. So they're saying that women are really open

to having casual sex. However, they don't feel as good about it after, but they're open to it. Like they feel like, oh, this guy maybe wasn't so right for me or whatever. Well, yeah, because they can be more choosy. Because they can, women can have sex whenever they want.

I know, you always say that, but. It's true. It's true. That is true. They can have sex whenever they want, so that they can afford to be more choosing. But guys can't. But I think that the whole notion of those study was that like women they meant you kind of assume that men are more down for casual sex but the same that women are down. Yeah, they're just down. They're just like. Yeah. And do you think even in this day and age more and

more so? Oh yeah. There's a bunch of flusies out there. Right here. What's up? Check please. Okay I think I already talked about this a few weeks ago but whatever did I think I did but I like this story anyway that a man is more than twice as likely to continue dating a woman if she has cheated on him with another woman then if she she cheated on him with another man. So this was because this was in the New York Times at a big piece on it. So I figured I'd bring it up again if I already did bring it up, which I don't remember, but I think I might have. But the point is, is that a man is not upset if a woman cheats on him with another woman. Yeah, that's hot. Okay, here's my question. What if you're not there, but she was like, honey, you know, last night,

man, you know, your friends, I don't know. I think it would depend on the situation. No. What's she cheating? Is it cheating if you're hooking up with someone? Do I know that she has a pass with hanging hooking up with women? Yeah, you do. So I already know that maybe it's not a heavy pass, but she's got a sprinkled past She has a sprinkled past what she had cupcake. Yeah, okay. She has like one or two And then all of a sudden she was at a party without you. She has a sprinkled past. What's she a cupcake? Yeah, okay. She has like one or two. And then all of a sudden, she was at a party without you. She had a party and she was with the chick. Yeah, I don't,

I think I'd be more open to not being as mad. If it was a dude, if it was a dude, she would be cut off. She would be done, being over. Right, okay, I'm just curious about that. But I'm not saying that I still want to dump her

because then I feel maybe at that point, she might just leave me for a chick anyways That's how my mind would probably work. So I'll probably just have to But maybe she just likes to but maybe if I saw the other chick and the chick was super hot Then I'm like, all right cool. I understand you're like next time. Yeah, yeah, let's hang yeah I'm just wondering what I had a conversation with a guy that I was dating about this too And I was like, well, do you would you care if I hooked up with a woman? And he's like, you know what?

Yeah, I would. He's like, that's still cheating. He's like, that's still, you, we've decided that we're, let's say, for a second. Well, this guy being serious? Yeah. He's like, we're, let's say that we are exclusive. Which will never happen. Yeah.

Go ahead. Oh my God. It will happen. It will. I will be. It will. I will be exclusive one day. Yeah. Uh-huh.

So, um, so he, um, so he was like, yeah, if you hooked up with a woman, we decided that we were going to be exclusive and you would often had sexual relations with someone else that is cheating. So I wonder how people feel about that. I don't want to plant this guy live on God you don't like anyone I date you've never met up many of them because the stories that you tell me there's tools, man They're not tools. All right, you're just not my dude. I just don't understand That statement I'm sorry. It's so hard for me to understand. It's okay. Okay. Penhouse 3D porn channel launches in Europe. Did you hear about this?

Yes. Penhouse magazine has decided to roll out the world's first 3D porn channel in Europe this week. It's no secret that the porn industry has been pushing the boundaries of technological innovation for years now. So it's a, yeah, 3D. Would you watch 3D? Oh, you're not really that into porn, but 3D porn. No,. I would probably check it out for like the technical stuff. I would just see how good it was. I'd be into it. I got to watch more porn in 2011. Okay. It's on my list of resolutions which I haven't met any of them really. Oh one of them sort of. I can't get into it now. Okay this one got emailed to me a bunch. Northwestern students treated to live sex in class. Did you hear about this Northwestern

University? A professor has stirred up controversy by holding a demonstration in which hundreds of students watched a woman get penetrated with a sex toy by her boyfriend. The class, which treats human sexuality as a subject for scientific inquiry. It's a human sexuality class is taken by more than 600 students. Scientists are secretly having way more fun than those lab codes and nerdy safety goggles would indicate. So yeah, so these, so this woman and man, like with her boyfriend, they went and they said everyone in the class, they said, the students, if you want to leave, this is going to get graphic and you can

leave. And they got, of course, nobody left. No, some people left. In fact, there was an interview one of the articles as this woman said, I was uncomfortable and I left. I didn't want to see it. I would so stay. Yeah. I would so stay.

I'd be like, I'm saying overtime. Can you do that again? She goes uptight. But people are really, really upset about it. Put her on the do-do-not date list. They were shoes with her boyfriend. No, I'm saying the one that left. Oh, the one that left. Yeah, you're like Europe type. But I think some people were just like, yeah, Northwestern and

the Midwest Northwestern University, right? Yeah, Chicago. Anyway, I never took human sexuality in college. But now I'm now I haven't talked about school in so long, you know, I know I was I was just thinking that because I took off a semester because I got so what Starting again, I already took off a semester, but I I have so much school work to do So I just couldn't but I'm starting again in June for a month And it's gonna be tense and everyone's gonna be hearing about all my Sex stuff. So again, so don't think that I'm not doing it because I haven't parted up lately It just means that I've been super busy. Okay talking to you. I'm gonna be on you about that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Cuz I love sex school and I have all these friends. All my new sex friends. Okay,

let's get into some. Hold on. One new story you missed. Oh, okay. Tell me. It was just out that the BYU basketball star got kicked out because he had sex. he admitted that he had sex and so they kicked him out. We bring him in. Yeah, the star basketball player for brimming on I say BYU because I can't say it. You can't say bring him in. Yeah, he admitted that he had sex and they kicked him off. Because you're supposed to be a virgin. That's crazy. Still in the stay-and-age, they expect that all those students are virgins. Yes. And they all are. Except for him. Exactly. Exactly. I can't believe that. I did see that. Yeah.

I forgot to put that in there. I saw that. That is crazy. Oh, here's one more funny sex story. Anyway, I can't believe that bring him young university. I mean, like, I understand the Mormons, whatever. I dated a Mormon once. That's a sad point. I get it. But seriously, like that's such a false world to live in.

Yeah, oh, he was a fallen Mormon. So he was raised Mormon, but no longer Mormon. And he's got some issues, but not around sex. He's awesome, but he was raised Mormon. Like you're not supposed to drink, you're not. So his whole family, like no sex. Well, I have my family's Mormon, so I know all about it. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. I remember that. Why are you, that's right. Yeah, I remember that Why you shocked that you remember something about Because everything that happens in here is like a vacuum bubble And then it goes away. Okay drunk priest offers sex to police hell. Yeah, did you hear this? Many people have been drunk and many know it's it's actually a priest He offers sex to police so So many people have been drunk. Many have talked to the police drunk.

Some have even had the misfortune of talking to the police drunk from the back seat. But when you're a priest who gets pulled over for drunk driving, you might want to quit while you're ahead. Father Ignatius Curry recently forgot this last tidbit of information. And when a DUI landed him in jail for the night, he became desperate to get out blowjob desperate special thanks the officers for whipping out the video camera instead of pressing charges

So he like offered them sex the police officers and he was drunk a priest not good. That's like so not good all around Wait to get the he offered a blowjob to get out of it. Yeah, what's wrong with that? I have no idea, but it's probably not a good thing and you're a priest Yeah, but not that the priest I mean it's not like priest sir, you know, they're all not sex right please can have sex right no, I don't know anything a priest can have sex can they? No They can no

Boys sometimes no, don't say that they do What are you talking about they do not you But they're not told all of them. Not all of them. But it's in the paper all the time. You're really stories. I don't want to get into that. Okay, we will get into that. Would you like to get into some emails? Yes, please. Why don't we get into that? Okay. Okay. All right. Emily, hello, I'm married to my beautiful wife of 8 years. Though our sex life is good, it's not great. Over the last couple of weeks after dirty texting with the wife is when she disclosed, okay, let me read this, this is the important part, I'm going to read it again.

Over the last couple of weeks after dirty texting with wife is when she disclosed that she's never had an orgasm through sex. And I was shocked. Do you know specific positions to achieve this school? I've tried the legs out with the pillows, no success, to no success. I don't mind bringing in toys to make our sex life exciting. I mentioned our home flick and she sounded gay to make our own home flick and she sounded gay. I've sort of listened to your show over the last two weeks and I enjoyed thoroughly.

Menace is funny. Whatever. Yes. What is pre-gaming? I think I spelled it wrong. Skeeter in Atlanta. Okay. Well, it's in your name, Skeeter.

What? Pre-gaming. Pre-gaming. He's a guy. You know, Skeet is a street term for ejaculation. No. I didn't know that. You and I have such disparate knowledge on things,

which is where we come together as a whole person. Yes. Right? So first of all, we'll look at the pre-gaming in a minute. But the first thing we have to address is we've been this way for eight years, and she just admitted via text message that she's never had an orgasm.

So during intercourse. So first of all, I'm curious, the responsibility of the orgasm lies on the woman. It is the woman's responsibility to communicate how she needs to get, you know, what she needs to have an orgasm during sex. I think that we were all raised, at least I thought this for a long time, that the man is supposed to be in charge of giving you orgasm. But if she's not communicating it, I'm wondering how for eight years she had sex and not had an orgasm. So he said he's trying positions and he's putting her heads up over her feet up over her head. And the truth is, I would just kind of pull back and wonder, like, does she ever, has she

ever had an orgasm? Like does she know? Because the woman's likely not going to have an orgasm during intercourse if she doesn't know how to have one herself. So she could, show him does she you know masturbate does she know how to have an orgasm there's ways to incorporate that and maybe a lot of women only 30% of women can actually have orgasms during intercourse so that's not such a shocker that's not weird to me this part is that she's never told them and he's been thinking that she has so then I'm wondering is she been

faking it did he not ever pay attention? I don't know, but I would just kind of take some time exploring each other's bodies have her show you it feels good and sure bring in some sex toys. I think he mentioned that. Sex toys are awesome during sex. You get a little bullet or a little a little um pocket rocket. Uh huh. There's those vibrators that are made great that are great for sex. for sex to use during sex. Oh my god Did I tell you the bullet story? No, you have a sex toy story. No, I was over at a friend's house and I was helping her make her bed put it together and I was like getting all the pieces and then I look over and I see this like silver objects, right?

And I'm like a black tip on it and it looks like a bullet. I'm like this is the bullet. She's like Mortified right now. I was like She's like no, no, it's not I'm like dude. It's the bullet. I'm like look And like and I turned it on and it started vibrating. She almost died. Oh, I'm sure. She's not someone that you're sexual with. No. Right.

She is embarrassing like her vibrate. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's lost it if though.

Um, so, okay. So I think you guys have to have a lot of a lot of talks and eight years together. And you just, I think this is exciting. Those skater because you have a whole great chance to start over right now. Like, just relaunch your whole sex life. Like, make a home sex flick. You said you want to do that, bring in sex toys, and start talking. Start talking about your fantasies.

You know, you got to just blow it up. And you want to know what pre-gaming is, Menace. Well, first off, before that, I want to say that you should sit down her vagina and say, look, you're going to have an orgasm. When you just talked to her vaginam when you just talked to her Yeah, just talk to her for a gin and say look this is gonna happen. I wish I wish it was that easy I would talk to mine all freaking time pre-game me will go into the pre-game me now It's just basically

Giving yourself some time before you have sex. I'll say a good couple hours Where do you masturbate. That's pretty much it. Right, it's so men don't have, a lot of men have issues with, they orgasm quicker than they'd like to. And when that happens, sometimes if you masturbate before you have sex, you'll be less likely to have an orgasm.

Right away. Okay, but speaking of sex toys, we gotta talk and give a shout out to Adam and Eve. We love Adam and Eve our sponsors. And everyone's been writing in, they would get some great shout out to Adam and Eve. We love Adam and Eve our sponsors and everyone's been writing in and they've been getting some great sex toys from Adam and Eve. So you can get like, they have every sex toy under the sun, they have laundry, they have DVDs and there's a huge discount that they're offering it and it's the perfect time to try it.

You get 50% off of most items to all of the loyal sex with Emily listeners and they throw in three adult DVDs, which are super sexy. They set me one today just as a gift, and I was like, whoa, I'm gonna go home and watch it tonight. Happy Friday for me. Just go to adamaniv.com and enter coupon code Emily at checkout. It's that easy.

So take advantage of this deal today. Everyone go buy a sex toy already, buy a pocket rocket, buy a bullet, buy a vibrating ring. I think I'm gonna buy a vibrating ring for the sky that I've been dating, because it's birthday, and you know how much I love the vibrating rings. So it's a gift for you.

Yeah. Okay, cool. Is that bad? Yes. I think he'd like it. I'm sure you would love it. He'd love it. Okay, that sounds awesome.

Yeah. Another thing is you mentioned lingerie, and you said you wanna talk about this on the show Okay, and I speaking about mortified I Have a special fan from my other radio show that's been sending me letters and Saying that they would like to go out with me and all this stuff right and today, just before you got to the building, I got another package and you can explain more. So I walk in to see men is at the station and he's like, Oh, look what I got. I don't know what to do about this. And he pulls out, it's

a package. And he pulls out some lingerie that someone a woman, I assume it's a woman who has a question. I sent you lingerie, which is interesting, because does she think you're gonna wear it? You're gonna wear it with, she's gonna wear it with you. I don't know what she's thinking. A red little like teddy thing and these, and I'm gonna actually, I'm actually gonna take it because it's cute and it's small, it would fit me. And a box of chocolates.

You're crazy. Medis was afraid to eat the chocolates because he's afraid she's trying to poison him maybe. Yeah. But I ate them and I feel totally fine right now. That's cool. I got a package with lingerie and chocolates that doesn't even have a return address. Yes.

It has a zip code. It has a zip code. We looked up the zip code and it's in Walnut Creek. That's great. I do not have one. Why is she sending you a lot of stuff right now? I don't know. She sent me some letter like as she wants to go out with me and

she loves my voice which I don't know why because my voice is bad. No, it's not. And I don't I don't know but it is hilarious. She said you lingerie. It's crazy. No, it's crazy. But I love the writing in it looks like like a preschooler wrote in it. Uh-oh. It's crazy. She thinks she's in jail. I don't know

I do use to write me email. Oh my god. Do you remember that from Alcatraz? Yeah, not Alcatraz Wait, you just jog my I'm not Alcatraz. Oh my god. You jog my memory because I do on my other radio show talk about a women's prison a lot Because every time I mention a city, I talk about the women's prison there and I go, what's up to all the lovely ladies in the women's prison? Really?

Yeah. I don't know. But should we check that there's no lives? Are we hiding like no razor blades in the chocolate? I don't. Actually, one another one right now. No, I don't I don't okay That's there okay speaking of laundry though Yeah, this is was my part of laundry is that so this guy likes that I'm seeing likes lingerie

Mm-hmm, which I appreciate because you don't I know not that it ever affected me because we've never been together but I don't really have that much. He's like oh, I like the matching matching and blah, blah, blah. So I like went shopping and get some stuff and there's like, that's all kind of cheesy out there. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I know you always say that. It's true. It's like leopard and lace. I don't think it's changed since the 80s. I know. I know. So I was like, where did you, where are you going to go? I went to Victoria's Secret because that's what it was right by my office. It's why you see just decent. Victoria's Secret is decent. It's decent.

I should go to like, like, naming markets or something. Blooming. Blooming Dells. I bet Blooming, you know what? I'm going to go to Blooming Dells. I love Blooming Dells. There was a guy who used to listen to the show who wanted to buy me shoes. Do you remember that?

Yes. I so wish I took him up on that. Just thought about that. Oh, God. Okay. Hello, Emily. Like you, I will keep this email short and sweet. Ah, that's nice. I write you from Calgary, Alberta, Canada,

and I recently discovered your awesome podcast. Where have you been my whole life? I'm playing catch-up to get through all 200 podcasts you have. I want to quickly throw my two cents, Canadian, that is. I wanted to quickly talk about foreplay and hand jobs. Me personally, I love 4 play. It's the best part. Nothing is better than going down in a woman. I absolutely love, love, love it. More guys should do that. As for hand jobs, I personally love them too. For me, it's a way to get off without my own hand, which always feels great. I don't need sex all the time. I'm a happy camper just getting off. Key up with great work and

love your sexy voice. Your newest and biggest Canadian fan Warren K. Thanks Warren. Canadian. I love men who love for play. I just think that like I said, this is my my married friend that I was out last night. I was saying there's men who love I've said this before the show and I don't think I've said in a while and I'm going to say again, men who love the vagina, men don't love the vagina. There's men who are way into oral sex and they want to do it and there's men who don't. And again, just like can you convince a man to start talking dirty, can you convince a man to love the vagina?

And I think it's an intimacy thing too. I think men who have intimacy issues are not as comfortable with oral sex. That's just what I'm putting out there. I don't think they're comfortable with your vagina. What, not mine, mine's awesome. What do you mean? No, I'm just you know, they're not Selected with the vaginas that I talked to you personally really yeah That's all look

We're not getting done here. We know but we have to get not to cut you off But we have to get into those five things. Oh my god today is like Reasing but but okay. We're going to move into some sex topics. Here's the five things you don't want to know about your boyfriend's history. This applies to five things a guy doesn't want to know about girlfriend's history as well. So just use this interchangeably. Ready? You don't want to know his number or her number. Oh yeah. You know the number. Yeah. Don't want to know how many will they stop with. And I can't tell you we've talked about this before. You

know that whole saying whoever you sleep with, you're sleeping with whoever they slept with. And if we extend that logic every time someone has sex, it's going to be like it's like the entire world they've had sex with. So just like guys don't want to know, no, you're number. You don't know theirs. But I feel like no matter how common sense this is that there's always that conversation. They're like, how maybe you stop with? Like never, ever tell us, never a good idea. And if a girl is pressure me, I'll never, ever, never tell.

I was talking to this guy about it, and he's like, if a girl does tell me, I just multiply by three, because she's alive. Yeah. Do you think that's true? Totally true. Yeah, I would lie for sure. I would lie for sure, and you for sure

should multiply by three if I ever tell you, but I'm not gonna say it. Yeah, and then a for sure. I would lie for sure. And you for sure should multiply by three if I ever tell you. Yeah, and then a guy multiply you should divide it by three of a guy tells you to exactly right? Because the guys like to inflate the woman play their number down. Okay. Number two, what his last girlfriend was like or boy for what her last boyfriend was like in the sack. We do not want to know. We don't want to know what the sack was like. This is one of those loaded questions. Guys, don't want to answer because you can turn into a competition between the woman you're dating and the woman you really don't want to think about anymore who doesn't even know

the competition is happening. The worst is when you meet your ex and public with your current girlfriend who's trying to top her in the sack, it makes it already incredibly awkward interaction just that much worse, especially if your girlfriend goes into the woman's room and your ex with your ex to grill her for tips. So what to ask instead, what he likes in the sack? Always a safe topic, not what the last girl was like in the sack. You never ever want to know that. You don't want to know what the girl was like. The guy was like, I don't want to hear about it. Don't ask. Okay, you don't want to know what

kind of porn he looks at. Number three. Yes, your boyfriend's likely looking at porn. Porn and it's cohort whacking it are the same as eating a small bag of pretzels for a guy when he's hungry. It's satisfying briefly, but it'll need something better later. More to the point, it's inevitable guys will, and their porn starts searches, stumble upon something bizarre.

Seriously, there's some suddenly weird stuff out there, and you watch it because you can't quite believe there are people into this kind of thing, and it'll be hilarious to tell your friends about later. But as a result, just it might sit in your browser history, don't search on his computer, he's probably looking at some porn, and he don't want to know what it is. What to ask instead, what he likes to do when he's going solo, you can pick up some tips for when you get a handle on them if you know what I mean Okay, another thing you don't want to know where he learned the thing that thing that you like I really want to know where he picked this up or from who?

Think about this for a minute. He could have learned it from from long experience or maybe the internet or maybe you learned it from that Dushbag friend of his you hate imagine every time I love that word dushbag. I do not use it enough Yeah, do you embrace it, I do not use it enough. Yeah. Do you have to embrace it? I need to embrace it. Imagine every time he does it, things on the Irving image of that person doing it to them. So it's a two way street.

Guys don't want to know where you learned your tricks either. But, no way. No way. But do you ever wonder for girls really good and bad? How is she so good? She's good. You put it out of my mind.

You're like, I'm psyched. I'm getting a great oral sex treat right now Yeah, what what to ask instead what things do what things you do that he likes? It's a good way to figure out what else to try Okay, and finally I think this is number five. Yes, you're ranking First of all guys actually ranked their girlfriends according to sexual prowess. They're being an ass Secondly, you don't want to know where you fall on the list, not that you will ever know because they'll never tell you. Even if you're not number one, he's not going to lie.

He is going to lie unless he's stupid or wants to hurt your feelings. And it's a mute point anyway. Great sex is great sex, but it's hard to get it wrong in the first place, blah, blah, blah. So what to ask instead, if there's anything you'd like to try, catering to your partner's needs is how to get great sex. And don't forget, he should be doing things'd like to try, catering to your partner's needs is how to get great sex. And don't forget, he should be doing things you want to try as well.

So those are things you should not ask about. It's common knowledge. Common knowledge. Okay, and I should- Do not give up your number no matter how many times he or she asks you. Never. Never, don't do it.

Okay, I also have to give a shout out here. Never, seriously, the number I did in my youth, I wouldn't, but the number wasn't as high then. So, okay. Tune up media is another one of our sponsors. Yes. And I love Tune up media. Everyone, they've been getting a lot of people,

a lot of our listeners have actually been signing up for Tune up because it's awesome. It's the number one selling plug-in for iTunes and Windows media player. It fixed all your mislabeled music, like those annoying track zero ones, unknown artists, and bands spelled five different ways, which is so my iTunes, my iTunes is a disaster. So it clean intelligently, identifies and fills in missing information using acoustic fingerprinting the same technology that powers Shazam for the iPhone.

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thanks so much for listening to the show. Great to chat with you today. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. How do you forget the ending every time? Ha ha ha. You've been listening to Sex With Emily with your host, Emily Morris. Have a question about sex relationships or anything in between.

Email Emily at feedback at sexwithemily.com. Want to add Emily to your Facebook or Twitter page? Visit Emily's website, sexwithemily.com, where you'll also find the latest sex with Emily News and podcast. Archive Podcasts can be downloaded from iTunes. From the Stitcher Studios in beautiful San Francisco, California, you've been listening to Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening.