Sex With Emily - SWE: Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Episode Date: April 30, 2012

From your  sex "number" to how much you hate their family, body, and job, Emily lays out all the things you should never share with your significant other.Emily and Menace share bizarre early sexual encounters, German nymphomaniacs are running riot, and everyone's losing friends during a breakup.Also, an older man who needs to pay more attention to foreplay and a game of "I've never" goes awry. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that lock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a bag on me Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand, it's so nice

The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common, Emily? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink. And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I'm off here. I'm so proud.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between go to sexwithelmy.com for more information and for all of our shows. We've got hundreds of them that you can listen to. And yeah, we so appreciate you for listening.

And for being our listeners and for being here and listening. Today's show is brought to you by Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve use coupon code Emily. You get 50% off most items but they have a new offer, right? So you get for a limited time only, Adam and Eve will let you pick three free adult DVDs with your order. Plus, you get 50% off an item. You can choose a new adult toy, a loop, or almost anything from over 18,000 adult products. You use Cubunko and L.A. checkout. And again, when you're checking out, you can choose your

own DVDs. They've always given you DVDs, but now you can choose whatever you want. They've got thousands to choose from your own free DVDs. AdamMovie.com, keep on going Emily. Hi. Hi, how you doing? How you doing? What's going on? Happy Monday.

How was your weekend? It went by too fast. Yeah. Yeah, it went by so fast. I spent a lot of time with my dog this weekend. Really? I went to the dog park and she played with her best friend Betty and I went to some parties and hung out with friends and it was really beautiful and I did some work and it was a very

nice, I don't feel like hungover or like I was pretty healthy, went to the gym. That's cool. And I planned a trip. You're going on a trip. I even had a vacation that did not include my family in years Like I'm going to Mexico with a group of friends in November Mexico. Not till Thanksgiving. What? But my friend gets a house there every year and he invited me and so I'm going a bunch of us

ex-boyfriend But like be it best friend best guy friend. He happens to be an ex-boyfriend, but there's like 15 minutes going. You're already going into that territory again. Didn't we just go over this like two weeks ago? Yeah, it's fine though. Everything's cool. No one cares. Your current guy does not care.

He's I think he might come. Oh, you think you might come. Wait, it shouldn't he be coming with you already? He is coming. He is coming. He is coming. He is coming. I'm bringing you guys. I'm bringing you guys. You're ridiculous. I'm not ridiculous.

I'm ridiculous. So I'm going to land the beach and I'm going to have the best time ever because I need a friggin vacay. Who doesn't have any needs of vacation? I don't take vacation because you're working for yourself. I'm very happy that you're going to take vacation, but good luck with your situation. Thanks. But when you work for yourself, it's like, I never feel like I deserve a vacation. So I need one.

The better question is, I've never taken a vacation in so long without my family or ex-boyfriends. It's true, actually. It's kind of true. Every time you go somewhere, you're hanging out with an ex-boyfriend. Because they're all really good guys. I just didn't want to marry them.

Can't you be friends with an ex and not Monomerium? What's the problem? Now when you're dating somebody, you don't hanging out with the next boyfriend. Because they're all really good guys. I just didn't want to marry them. Can't you be friends with an ex and not Mono Mariam? What's the problem? Now when you're dating somebody, you don't hang out with them. Yes, you do. My ex likes my current guy a lot. Well, that's great. I know. Give him a high five.

I will. How was your weekend, honey? My weekend was cool. Friday didn't do anything. Then Saturday, my radio station, the celebration number four is still on a concert. So we had like a ticket on sale thing. And we, you know, we're never sure like how many people come show up and buy tickets.

Four thousand people showed up. Wow. Yeah, it was really cool. The concert already happened. It hasn't happened. Just the buy the tickets for the concert. Four thousand people actually came and showed up somewhere. Yeah, four thousand people were there. It was insane.

It was really cool meeting some listeners and stuff like that. That's really cool. Yeah, so it was fun doing that, but I was only there for a little bit because I told you I had a friend who had a niece that couldn't go to prom. Right, was that this weekend? That was this weekend. So I made some calls and they were able her inner day were able to screen a private movie for two in one of the Pixar movie screening.

That's so nice. And I'm telling you, this is like top of the line, better than anything you've ever seen in your life, movie theaters, like super, like their, their projectors are more than for our, you know, it's like, it's super sick. So we gave him a tour, did all that, and then a limo came and picked him up. We took some pictures of them outside the limo in front of the big Pixar screens. And it was like, it was really cool, yeah.

Really cool. So then we were done with that. And then me and my buddy from Pixar, we went and we went and started drinking and stuff like that. And then we went out to eat and we're like, oh, we gotta take a quick nap because we got invited to this after party that Red Bull was throwing.

And Red Bull throws like sick. Crazy parties, yeah. Crazy parties. So then the party's about to start. We go over there and the party's just jumping, right? And then it's just like open bar. Like whatever the hell you want, you can just have. I have two drinks, I'm there 15 minutes, I'm like, yeah.

And you leave? Let's go home. That's not not like, were you with a girl? I'm tired. I was with a girl, but I didn't want to leave because I was with a girl. I just, But did you go home in a sex with her?

No, it's where I got. I don't believe you. It's where I got on. You were with a girl at a party and you left early after 15 minutes and you didn't go home in a sex. Yeah, no, I didn't believe you swear to God. You were the girl at a party and you left early after 15 minutes and you didn't go home and have sex Yeah, no, I didn't why because I was tired I want to go home. She come see my your house. Yes, and you had denied intercourse. Do you know of course the next morning tired? Nope

Did not have it in a friend? Huh, so she's just a friend No, we have sex, but I just didn't I was tired man I know you don't have sex in time. When I'm tired, I'm, I just wanted you to have sex in this time. I'm tired, I'm tired. I'm like, I don't give a f.

So you were just tired of this show. Yeah, I'm not like a guy I need to get laid because I can get some for time. So the party ended when you left because you are the party. No, no, it went on, but it just shows like, I just don't, I just don't care, man. You're over the party, see?

I'm over the sex thing. I just want to go part. I don't either. That's why I hang out with friends, my ex-boyfriends. Well, see, that's not a good thing either. But it was so funny, because so Sunday, I had to do grocery shopping.

And I've been getting pissed off because I need a good vacuum cleaner that can suck up the shit, right? Right. And I bought two, because I have a small place, you don't need a big vacuum cleaner but the small vacuum cleaners didn't work as good no they don't know so how to get a big vacuum cleaner it's like 150 bucks for wow would you go target yeah torsier and I tweeted while I was getting this vacuum cleaner and I said I wish I can go back in time and tell my 16 year old self that buying

a vacuum cleaner on a Sunday would be enjoyable. Right. And a lot of people responded to that or laughing their ass off. Yeah, it's funny, because it's like, it kind of isn't drivel. I would like to go talk to my 16 year old self and say, hey, you know what? One day.

One day, you're gonna go to Target on a Sunday where you probably usually be skateboarding. And you're gonna buy a vacuum cleaner and you're gonna think it's amazing. Exactly, that's amazing. Exactly. That's amazing. That's true. I appreciate those little things in life too.

I like running errands crossing things. That's why I did a lot this weekend. I did a lot of errands crossing off my list, like went to the bank, went to the dry clinic. It's not that interesting though. But you're right. It was satisfying. What would you tell your 16 year old self right now? Oh my God.

That's a great question. Like one thing, like over a weekend. Over a weekend. Over the weekend, you'd be like, you could go back in back in time and tell your 16 year old self, say, hey, when you're this age, you're going to be doing this. You're going to be organizing your sex toys, which has been a two month project on a Sunday afternoon, because you're going to have so many that you're going to be organizing your sex toys, which has been a two month project on a

Sunday afternoon, because you're going to have so many that you're going to spend hours daydreaming about ways to store all different sex toys, books, and products in my home and coming up with new solutions for storage. Wow. And what would your 16-year-old self say? Pysate, what's sex toy? What sex? I never even masturbated until I was like 19 or 20.

It didn't even occur to me. I've told you this. Never even. Yeah, but you knew of sex toys when you were six two. No, they didn't have sex toys then. I mean, they had them then, but no one knew. I don't think I knew what a sex toy was when I was 16. I don't even think I really knew what they were

until I was in college until some guy bought me a vibrator. What? I knew about sex toys when I was like eight years old. Really? Like what kind of sex toy did you know about? Like Dildos and stuff? I was kind of, I wasn't sheltered. My family's not religious, they weren't controlling,

they weren't in my face of them. We do whatever I want really, because they weren't very good parents at the time. But I never knew what a sexer was. That's weird. Do you know what's funny is actually in my younger age I was really aware of sex. Right so you said the first time you walked in your parents when you something was having a war.

I saw a corner when I was like six. And you knew that what I'm at. Yeah I knew about sex toys that are really young age and it's's funny. And I have a flashback too of, I was in summer school, because I would always go to summer school because it was cheaper than daycare. You know, my parents would only send me that. Oh, that's how you're so smart.

Hate it. Yeah. Right. It really paid off. But I remember it was so bizarre. During the day at lunch break, these teenagers go out in the middle of field at an elementary school and start having sex.

They did? Yeah, in the middle of field, while there was like hundreds, maybe even a thousand kids. How old were you? I was probably, I would say like six grade. And you saw them having sex? Yeah, they're having sex in the field like out in the open out of nowhere

And then like we call them yard duties or whatever not X whatever You know the people who are on the L.E. for doing so yeah, they you know They're in their like late 30s 40s and they had to go and stop the teenager from having sex It was in plain view that's so with a kids that went to your school No, it was it was kids that were either from a high school or something like that. So dumb, but you watching them have sex? Dude, everybody was.

It was so weird, right? That is weird. Who would do that? Would they probably get arrested or something? I don't know, but yeah, the Yardoodies went in, like, made them go away. I thought so funny. I mean, I don't think that I really knew, I don't know, that much about sex, I could never came

up. I had fooled around boys and stuff like gave a blowjob when I was 16 and had braised up. What? No, you never told me that. I had braces and the guy was dating at the time was like, I want you, you give me a blowjob or whatever, you say that. Yeah, sure, what?

And I was like, sure whatever. No, I was like, I have braces. say that yeah, sure what I was like sure what I've no I was like I braces like yeah Like it hurts to put over your mouth like over there. Yeah, and I did it for like a second But then I heard braces you get work. I don't know why you would want that. I could I could have ripped his dick off Well, do you know what's funny is There would be girls that had braces like on the inside so you can even see them right on the lower Uh-huh. Oh, that would hurt the penis. Oh, yeah, I've had that like had twice in my life had that had that happen Oh, that's even worse. Like

Why does it feel like there's razors on my penis? Oh my god, that's awful. That's awful I don't even know I think that you should not so you know You just gotta fight through it should be illegal to perform all sex when you braces on. Okay, today's show we're going to be talking about what you should and shouldn't tell your partner. Also tomorrow is the first day of masturbation month. Do you know that May is masturbation month? No. Okay, so everyone I want everyone to

to increase the number of times, the amount of times they masturbate per week, and we're going to give you some tips and tricks for, like, what, mutual masturbation, masturbation tools, madness is going to try out some things that he doesn't know about, and, uh, yeah, that's this month. We're going to be highlighting every week. We're going to have a special masturbation show. And I also have a game for us to play today. Oh, I love games. I know. So we're going to play that and we've got some sex and news and some emails and it's Exciting stuff all around and also

You can download my iPhone app kegel camp It's beginning tons of downloads lately. I don't know why helps men and women improve their sex life Maybe somebody talked about it someone talked about it somewhere, but it's a keg camp go download it now And then rate it with like lots of stars and say you like it on iTunes many many stars Have you heard about the African fruit diet? No. Thanks for asking. It's like mango. Because you know, you're all into the natural supplements lately. Oh, yeah hot rocks.

So there's this new fruit mango from Africa that's been like all over the news and it was on Dr. Oz and apparently you lose like 18 pounds in a month. From eating a mango? Yeah. All you eat is just one may after you make a... No, no, you just eat. You don't really change up your diet too much but you just add this to your, you just

eat this a little bit. Oh, this fruit just makes you lose weight. Yeah. I want one now. Well, you don't need a lose weight, sure. Oh, that's true. You want one now. No, I don't. I'd be like, where's my food? I'm going to be talking to you. No, I never heard that. Well, you don't need a lose weight. Oh, that's true. You want one now. You'll be all wrapped out.

I'd be like, where's my food? Nobody talking to you. No, I never heard of that. That's so weird. Yeah, it's just recent. African fruit. Check it out. Okay, everyone.

African mango or something like that. But, you know, make sure you get it from a reputable place. Right. Well, you can also, now that you brought it up, you know, hot rocks. I've been taking hot rocks now for almost two months. It's hot rocks, R-A-W-K-S hot rocks.com. It's an organic certified affordygiac for men and women. And it gives women more energy, stronger orgasms.

It helps men with stamina, heart, erections. But here's the best part about hot rocks.com. There's a 30-day money back here in T. So if you try it for 30 days and you don't feel something like I feel like I definitely feel like I have more energy, I definitely feel more orgasmic. And it's worth, and I was kind of doubtful. I was like, I don't need supplements, I'm pretty healthy, blah, blah, blah, but I think

they're amazing. So try out at harox.com and you'll like it. How's that? Or go out eat a mango from our car. Mango, yeah. Mango. This is not about weight loss. This is about a natural organic.

Hey, man, when you lose weight, you tend to get laid a lot more. It's true. You know, a, mango. This is not about weight loss. This is about a natural or, or, or get it. Hey man, when you lose weight, you tend to get laid a lot more. It's true. You know, a health issue. Unfortunately, I know, I suck. Health is a huge, it's true though. It helped, well, not because you're not getting laid, but just helped me, it helps you if you are exercise and you're healthy, healthy weight,

then you enjoy sex more because you can just, you're in dolphins and all that stuff. You can just go to pound town for an hour. You go to pound town for an hour. You can go to pound town for an hour. Okay, ready? Sex in the news. There's a Munich Nymphomaniac claims second victim. A few weeks ago, we did a piece of a Munich woman

who was questioned by police after locking a man in our apartment and refusing to let him leave until he'd satisfied her eight times. Then, proposition the police, when they arrived to rescue the man from her balcony. Well, men of, men of munchen, the threat level just jumped to red because she struck again. Her latest victim in African man was found weeping on the side of the street after 36 hour or a deal. I met her on a bus said the man. She invited me back here. Oh, God,

it was hell. I can't walk. Please help me. Oh my God. You never hear that it's the woman. The woman will lead you 47 as now been detained in a psychiatric hospital for observation. Wow. She locked a man in her apartment, made him sex three times in this other guy 36 hours.

What? You know, in the man was crying. That's so sad. You don't never hear that women are the one, the insiders. If this was a man, this wouldn't be so so tongue and shake. Yeah, people want to be laughing about it.

If it's a man, you don't know. No, she gets in a psychiatric hospital, like most men, if a man did that to a woman, he could jail. Totally, for life, life. Yeah, but whatever, I think I went back to our apartment, but not, doesn't mean anything. She can't lock the door enough, such as them for 36 hours.

Sounds like a good TV movie though, our character. Okay, delivery deaths double because of obesity and delayed birth. Birth. OK, fat old ladies are dropping like flies and London's delivery room these days as a number of delivery deaths has doubled in the past five years. Researchers are technically blaming rising rates

of obesity and mothers waiting longer to give birth, both of which complicate labor. It could also point to a relative lack of midwives in the city as England's birth rate is jumped to whatever the case numbers are renewing calls for women to get on the treadmill and out of the bedroom soon everything you have in kids doesn't say what age women are in kids, but yeah, fat old ladies are dying because they're fat and having kids old. So just lose weight and have kids in your thirties. Don't have kids.

Get an African mango. Eat an African mango and then get pregnant. I'm sure you don't have this in these. I like this next one. What? What is it? Does it have to do with Colleen Lamar? Do you have any Colleen Lamar?

No, I have no Colleen Lamar. It's all up to you. I heard. Tell me. I'm very sad. I know. The Kardashians just signed a $40 million deal with E but the news breaks today That clothing Lamar is canceled. I know. No, they didn't can't they said they didn't want to do it again

Which I which I think is cool because I think really right now Lamar needs to focus on Basketball he doesn't need to be doing a reality exactly But they made $40 million. It's been just for keeping up with the fans. It's crazy. But that split up against among all of them, but still. But it sucks because, you know, this is probably the top.

I love building the mar. Yeah, I did. I love the mar. And it sucks because I think what really made him stop is just the time right now, a really difficult time for the mar. And difficult time for Lamar. Right. And it's all on camera.

And he has a job. That's it. No, he decided not to not to play because he got traded and then his game wasn't up. So they were going to put him down on the minors and he was like all the biggest basketball team in the world. Why wasn't he doing well? Why do you leave? He just wasn't.

He didn't want to make hers, but then he went to Dallas. They went to Dallas because there was a strike for a long time, so he didn't really stay in shape apparently. So then he went to take Texas and his game wasn't right. He's playing with new people, you know, whatever. They didn't want to give him time. They want to put him down in the minors. That's embarrassing.

So he decided not to play and just become a free agent after. And you probably thought they'd get that doing that all on television would be embarrassing. Yeah. I understand. So look at Caleb. I'm sorry that it'll be very sad. I never got to see it. But real cost of a breakup is eight friends.

What? A typical adult loses eight friends when a long-term relationship ends a study found today. Researchers from HewBee.com surveyed 2,000 people and found that taking of sides and the circumstances of the split are the biggest reasons for broken friendships. Around 1 in 10 people said their fed up friends had stopped speaking to both of them and their former partner after the breakup. More than 20% of people even admitted to staying in a relationship longer than they really wanted because of the fears about the impacts it would have on their relationships.

Now, as we started the show, I'm friends with all my exes and all my exes friends. So I don't have that issue, but do you lose friends typically when you break up with someone? I didn't lose a lot. If I can see that long-term relationships, you kind of do have to pick sides. Yeah, but they weren't really, they weren't really like my friends. It was just friends that I became friends with because of people I was dating. Right.

So they're initially their friends. Right, but then they became your friends and they say your friends. Because that's always a tricky one too, if you break up with someone and then your friends are... That's actually only happened one time where I stayed in touch with some people because I really, really liked them.

Right. And then we just never discussed my ex ever. Right. You can't talk about that. You can't talk about that. You can't talk about that. You can't talk about that. You can't talk about that.

Exactly. We're talking about things you should never talk to your partner about. That's our topic today. Okay. Don't be a boob. New bra allows you to stash iPhone without a purse. Cleavage has been a natural storage device for cell phones since the dawn of time, but two Seattle students have one opt evolution with the Joey Bra, which features a side pocket

under the arm that can hold iPhones, credit cards, or MP3 players. After surveying 200 students, they put together the prototype, a leopard print retailing at 1999, and we presented in 19 sororities of the University of Washington. I mean, I cure a huge purse wherever I go because I need everything in it, but I guess if you're in college, you just... You see money? Yeah, but that'd be uncomfortable.

I'm comfortable. You need money condoms in your iPhone. Yeah. But your iPhone is like under your boob and you're sweating and you're dancing at the bar. I don't know if that's a good thing. Yeah. Under your boob is sweaty iPhone?

No, I'm sure. And we it's under your armpit, but still. Yeah, actually, this girl that I was hanging out with her the weekend, she saw a picture of this prototype. Okay. And she agreed that it wouldn't be a good place to put the iPhone. Not a good place.

Do you know what I'm bringing back? Bring it back, the hand job. Not the hand job, because the hand job must I. I am bringing back pages. Pagers? I bought a pager. Why off eBay? Last week I Know why you just bought a pager. How much is it it was 25 bucks? Oh my god? I bought the pager that I bought when I was a teenager the same exact one

What and I found a place where you can get service for shut up I'm just gonna get connected just so I'm gonna start having people page you. Yeah. Just the fucking just that's what page me. Yeah. Like, you know, it's like free at Facebook and just page me. That's so annoying. D. B. B. B. Yeah. Yeah. Call the person back. Yeah. It's like a text message now is now the page. I know, but I just I just want to like wear it. Are you going to wear and clip it to your outside that you're going to clip it to your right. And then we decided at work also where another friend of mine, she's going to get a page or two. So whenever we like see one of us from a distance talking to somebody,

we're going to go run and page them. So the page will go off in front of that person. I can't even remember what they sounded like. Will you bring it in? Yeah, it was like, baby, baby, right? Yeah, every day. It's going to go off. I'm going to page your day because I hate Will you bring it in? Yeah, of course. It was like, beep, beep, beep, right? It was like, every day. It's gonna go off for a crazy. I'm gonna pay you a big day.

I hate calling you because I hate your voice, Mal. And then also I bought last week. I'm really, I did have a pager back in the 90s. So did I. But it meant, yeah. I don't know, for some reason I want to buy everything that I couldn't buy in the 90s. So I also ordered a pair of Reebok pumps. Pumps? Yeah, Reebok pumps. You remember, you know, they pumped up. They

pumped up. They just like have a little pump. Yeah. Yeah. About a pair. I found the pair that I wanted in your size. Oh my God. So they still look like, was it anything? It was really effing hard to find. I even found a. No, this other special suit. So you pop them up before you wear them and then you. No, no, you put them on and then you pump them up because then it like But no make you run faster and jump higher I remember those Reebok. I don't even know what happened to Reebok Reebok. There's still around. I know we never see him Yeah, so cute. What else? Yeah, no, I'm just like really into, I just wanna buy a bunch.

You're like being nostalgic. I wonder what that means for you emotionally. Are you feeling nostalgic for your childhood or for your youth? Are you feeling like you're getting older? What's the deal? No, I just, I don't know. You have to party with an open bar

when home and didn't have sex. Do you wanna talk? No, man, I just, I just really just wanna get the things that I wasn't able to get when I was like, what are the things you want now? Well, things I want now, I'm not as crazy as I was back then when I was a teenager. I wanted everything. Right, right, right.

But now there's just a few things I want and I pretty much have everything that I want except for one thing. What? I want to buy a real. There's this new Samsung television, 60 inch LED TV that I really want. How much is it? About 1700 1700 well when I make it big I will thank you. It's called a smart TV

You can actually turn out the volume by just wave in your hand and change it in channel Are you serious? You can just go like you can just go like that or just like turn out the volume Like just wave your hand. Oh, that's really cool. Yeah, it's how cool is the TV? I bought not that cool It's cool. You gave me a budget. It's a really good TV like Yeah, you gave me a budget and we got the best TV. It's a sharp, which is a really good brand. Yeah, okay good Yeah, why are you been saying that lately? Somebody did so many make comment that you're just wondering. Because no, I literally met it's not I had never had a TV and forever I've never had a TV. And Mendison's high school and Mendison,

I went to Best by a year ago and bought this TV and it was just like you pick it out, you set it up and then I didn't watch it for six months and then I just started watching it. Yeah. Because we're gonna be on TV soon. I know, if you don't know. If you don't know, there's a new television show coming out on Bravo TV you've to cable

But I guess you can also download the episodes probably for my tune. It's called misadvised and it's two words misadvised And it's a reality show based on my life in San Francisco my life in my work Do I practice what I preach and menace isn't it significantly? Fortunately and unfortunately all really he's kind of mean to me. They loved him. They loved him during shooting, because menace was, and it's kept a real during shooting.

What are you talking about? Menace was hypercritical of me on camera. For national television. Oh, right, hypercritical. I was the same person. You said that I wasn't and I was. You weren't. You were not you.

No, you wanted me to be nice to you on On camera. I'm not Choose my way we're in a sample that's effing true, isn't it? Is it true? I'm a soundproof both and I can hear you walking in the door now I know that was a tamed this thing you say to me Anyway, everyone's all coming soon to tell me Maybe you love you and hate me anyway, so I know I don't care about love you I told you I can't say more follow don't care about you. I love you. I told you, I can't say more. Follow me on Instagram, please.

Oh yeah. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You can follow me, sexual, I'm on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, and Menace's White Menace at all those places. Did you really blow up your dog?

You showed me a video before we showed. There was a video that my friend made of my dog blowing up, and I actually wanted to blow her up. I kept looking at that. Did she pee on your... No, she's not peeed again in the house or pooped. She isn't pooped in three days though, so she's having some issues because she had a it's a long story that I don't want to get into it because I'll sound like a

parent. I fell in love with the dog when I was a weekend. I posted a photo on Instagram. Oh. It was King Charles. They're like, they're called King Charles something. And no matter what age they get, they always look like a puppy. And I absolutely loved it. It was just... Oh, would you see it? Well, my friend sister brought it and my friend actually has two of these dogs already.

What kind? The King Charles. Oh my god, we have plenty of sex yet. Yeah. Does anyone care? No, it's good. We're good. I love us.

Oh, I'm having a party. The Kegel Kegger. The Kegel Kegger. We just said a date. It's going to be May 31st. It's a Kegel Kegger. It's with good vibrations. Oh, that's a Kegel Kegger. Bucky. It's a puppy. You guys want to see it. I'll send a photo to, for Emily's website, secerown.com. Perfect. Yeah. What was I saying? You were saying that you're having a kegel. Oh my God, a kegel kegger. Yeah. I think it's gonna be, I'm pretty sure May 31st,

and details to come, it's gonna be, with good vibrations as a partner, it's a kegger, but with the loss of the other alcohol celebrating my app and just my birthday, actually. Oh. It's a third day though, because we couldn't, it's hard to get the place that we wanted whatever, sorry, you're gonna have to go out.

Oh, no. I know you can't go out during the week, but you have to do anyway. Okay, e-mails, what? I'm sending you... Rocky e-mails, what do you want? I'm sending you the picture of the dog, so everyone can go to a certain... Thank you. Don't forget to post it because people like pictures of dogs.

I'll post it. They do. Okay. I want to read an. They do. Okay. I want to read an email. Okay. From the people. Thanks everyone for emailing us at feedback at sexwithamlee.com.

Emily, please give me advice on how to attract a woman. They all think I'm wonderful. Like a brother, a great friend, sweet, cute. Mainly I hear it's not you, it's me, cliche. Occasionally they'll screw my brains out. Awesome, I must admit, but they won't date me. I want a girlfriend. Confidence?

I've got it. I have a graduate degree and make six figures. Slim, athletic build, run five miles three times a week. Was it jeopardy, contentioned? Have lots of males and female friends and drive people. What is wrong with me? Mom healthy, called good looking, bought, and here's the butt, only 5-2.

Short girls are under no obligation to date short guys. In fact, the tall guys sweep them up easily since they're so, I don't know, adorable, toy-ish, whatever. I'm about to give up. Shytas, go to a desk, just get a desperate male-order bride, Ted from Asheville, North Carolina. Ted. desperate male order bride Ted from Asheville North Carolina. Ted. Ted.

Do you know what, Ted? I agree with you because I'm like, I'm really into short girls and I'm not super tall. I'm like 5'10". And the tall guys just come in and like swoop on all the short girls. It's true. It's some bowl-ish. And I say that I date tall guys and I um I um how tall are you? I'm five two five two and typically I date guys who are taller but you know what I've had uh girlfriends that were like

four eleven five foot and they've they've dated guys short in me too. Yeah so it doesn't matter so here's a thing Ted you're super confident you say all the stuff I don't think it's because you're short that you haven't met someone yet. I don't, you don't say how old you are here, but it sounds like, I don't know, maybe you're in your late 20s or early 30s. I'm saying 20s. I would say that I know guys who are five two,

I know guys are five two. Five two. I'm five two. Dude, I know there's a guy that I work with. He's probably like five, three, five, four. And he got so much game, so much. I seriously think that we all think it's the confidence and you say you have confidence

and I believe that you are a great catch, except for the high thing. And I think that you've got to take that out of your equation. Your height is fine, you got to live it, you got to embrace it, you got to just be it. And I think that you're always worried in your mind that a woman's going to dump you because of your height. And you know what, those are the women

you're going to want to be with. I promise that you will find someone, but I believe when you say you're confident that you're not, because you're still worried about this one thing. I could spend all the time worrying about my insecurities too. We could all do that and people who do that never move further in life.

So you just got to posit them. You got to focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses. And this is even emotionally, I'm sure you're not walking around telling the girls, I'm only five two, but in your brain, you're projecting that, the more you believe it and the more you're worried about it, the more you're gonna manifest it and it's gonna become problem for you.

So I just say, don't worry about the five two thing. It's like if you have small penis, guys shouldn't worry about that either. What are you gonna do about it? It's fine. Yeah. There's nothing you can do about it, so embrace it. Let it go, embrace it. We got all, that's what getting older is about. That's another thing

you asked me what I would tell my 16 year old self and I would just be like, get over it. Don't worry about your weaknesses, focus on your strengths, focus on what you're good at. I mean, when you're 16, you got to focus on everything. But I would just be like, everything's going to be okay, little Emily. Little lamb, everything's going to be okay. That's what I'd say. Okay. Dear Emily, I've been listening to your podcast of your show. They're great. In the Getting Your Mojo Back Show, you touched on delayed ejaculation. Well, gotta tell you, I was hurt. I guess it's all my problem. This is what I took for the show, from the show. Cheat me like a queen, compliment me

often, perform hours of foreplay to get me ready, don't neglect the breasts. Then when I'm ready, you should have a raging heart on her already. Do me firmly. But by all means, not the jack of it. Oh, and not a two-stroke joke, but God, don't hammer away me for an hour. So that sounds like about nine point four minutes, so I can calm, but I may not, and that's okay, done and done. How about the man? I'm 50 tomorrow.

I've never been quick to climax. Interactions aren't as automatic as they were 30 or even 10 years ago. As we age, foreplay becomes more important for both men and women. I think more information for ladies and how to pleasure a man other than his penis is in order. And Igor Burtis and Benouwantz enjoyed pleasure receiving and giving is my biggest turn out. My wife enjoys massage and I enjoy giving them.

The touching and rubbing always leads to better orgasms for both of us. Signed Eric, Eric Plankwell taken, he was listening to a show where I was probably talking all about foreplay and pleasing the woman. And maybe we don't, we're assuming here, you know, maybe it sounds like we're just giving advice to men because I think, you know, men we hear from more men, but we do give a lot of tips towards the women. And I think you're absolutely right that that firm man sex is not just about the in and out that there is

I know men love central massages and some men besides men It's like their balls touch and like their legs touch and like to be tickled around their peanut like their stomach and kissed all over And kissed on their face and their neck and all different things that they like that women like as well And I totally agree with you and we should do a show that emphasizes that shortly I feel like we always talk about doing about four play, but he's kind of saying that I was all about the woman in that last show. And I probably was. Yeah. Of course. She's like that every show. Don't take offense to it. But I get some hot rocks too. Hey, get some hot rocks. Hot rocks. But he's not a premature ejaculator. I know but but if you are a premature

ejaculator you can go to hot rocks.com. That's r a w k s dot com and get these amazing pills that I They don't work for you. I don't have a penis, but they worked for me as far as the stronger orgasms 30-day money-back-carried team your hor horny level is at 11. I'm at 11. I'm at 11. That's how horny I am. We're going to get into our topic a little bit, which is what you should tell your partner, but your significant other.

I thought men is that you and I would play a drinking game first. Yes. That's what we don't have drinks. It's a sex drinking game that I actually got at good vibrations. It's giving other plenty of good vibes. Goodvib vibes.com. You can buy sex toys, you can buy games, which I think are super fun and spicy for sex life. You're going to see how.

And use Cubanko GVM-L15 for 15% off, anything from good vibes.com. Okay, these are, I never cards. Remember, I never the drinking game when you'd say like,'ve never had an alcoholic beverage and if you have, then you drink. So we've got to answer these questions truthfully and honestly, but you do, like I'll do one to you. We have to eat your card. So read it. I have the answer to you. I guess we both have to answer it and drink. Go. drink go. I have never sharded when farted in the little extra came out. No. No. Most of them were sex related except that one. Nice nice one. Sorry. Next one. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. The most of them are in about anal. I never made out with

more than three people one night That is not true. So you said drink something. So I know so it's not true Is it true? Have you have you made out with more than one night? Then you tonight don't drink so I do drink you do drink. Okay, if it's true No drink. Okay, if it's true no drink. Yeah, okay, okay I got a drink now you know drink you know drink with you. No Okay, I've never had so I'm just gonna read some of these I've never had sex with someone I met on the internet Would you drink to that? I've never had sex with someone I met on the I've had sex with somebody that I made I'm not like you know casual encounters anything

So these are just fun games you could play but again I don't know that you'd want to play this with your your partner, but there's some things in here that I think are too much information, but I love sex games. And if you go to good vibes.com, I grab these when we were there because they were fun. I would take out the starting card. I'm sorry that was the first one. That would be very sexy if you're... Most of them are not.

That is literally the only one that does not have to do a sex and you picked it. I've never had sex in a public bathroom. I'm gonna have to take a drink. Me too. I've never licked or eaten food items off my partner's body. No drink with me. No drink or drink.

Too messy, you never would. I've never had sex on a water bed. I've had sex on a water bed. I've had sex on a water bed. I've had sex on a water bed too. My first time was on a water bed. Yeah, you were, yeah. Yeah. That was big in the 80s.

Yeah, the same in the 80s. And it was, it was a, it was a, it was a holdover. I've never had sex in the bathtub. I think I've had sex in the bathtub. Yeah, for sure. I've never got a blow job while driving. I have have. Okay, I've never been in the back of, yeah, for sure. I've never got a blow job while driving. I have have. Okay, I've never been blindfolded during sex.

I've never been blindfolded during sex. Oh, I have, so I would drink. I've never talked dirty while having sex. I do. Yeah, you have, see if you're drinking. I'll be so drunk right now. You'd be so drunk, aren't you just fine? When these be fun with friends, I've never thrown up in a bar.

You have. Taking shot right now. If this was shots, that's just fun. When these be fun with friends, I've never thrown up in a bar. You have. Taking shot right now. If this was shots, I'd be dead. Would be dead. I've never been kicked out of a bar. I never have. I have. I've never been locked up in a police station.

I mean, I had to go there to testify. I mean, I know to give a statement. Okay, I've never been locked up in a bar. They were gonna arrest me. They were gonna take me, but I ended up going there because I wasn't home when the cops came to pick me up. Close then, you don't have to drink. I've never had sex while standing.

You've had sex standing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I've never used handcuffs during sex. Never used handcuffs during sex. Okay, I have, so I would drink. I've never had sex while someone else was in the room. I have I have to yeah, and it was it was dumb. I was in college and we had a loft in our room and our In our dorm room and I was having sex with my boyfriend on the loft and his roommate was sleeping down below Like don't you just do stupid shit like that college like he could hear us having sex for sure. Yeah, yeah, it was so dumb. Okay I've never had sex in the first date.

I have. I have to. But I don't recommend it. I don't think you should have sex in the first date, everyone. Really. I've never had sex with someone who didn't speak the same language as me. That's all you. I have.

I've never been outside of America. I've never had sex with someone whose last name I didn't know. I have. I've never been outside of America. I've never had sex with someone whose last name I didn't know. I have. I have too. Okay. So those are some fun games, okay? Look who's the prude now. I had more I have than you did.

I've never had sex at a football tailgate. No, never. I don't think I have either, but I've been there. I don't know. Okay. So that's a fun game. I've never had that. You're the prude. Why you always giving me crap

Like I don't do anything and I had more I did that before than you did really yeah, no, you didn't have more Well, I've never been a fan. Yeah, I did As in turn did you win are you the drunker one now? Yeah, okay, who had more yeses? Oh Jesus I've never had a blowjob in driving. I've given a blowjob to someone. Okay, okay, okay. That was fun.

Okay, if you're listening to this podcast, email feedbackofsexamely.com, count all the yeses versus the next one. Right, we don't have 10 account them all, but- It was so Emily can delete your email. I'll delete your email. She hates it. I hate people, I hate people don't agree with me. Okay, what you should and shouldn't tell your significant other.

Okay, in general, it's good to be open and honest with your partner. There are times that when you should not tell your partner what is on your mind. Okay, I believe that couples need to be honest and open. And there are a lot of things, like I think communication, like I always say is a lubrication, but there are just some things that you could share with your partner that they will never get over, that they'll never forgive you for, that it's just not worth sharing. So, as we think, you fall in love with someone, we become one, we need to share all of our

deep, deep dark secrets and all the sex we've had in the past, and it is a bad idea. Their instances of telling the truth would hurt them, and there would be nothing good that would come of it, and it might have permanent damage to the relationship. So, there are certain things, number one, things that they have no control to change, you should never tell them. For example, they're height, they're penis size, they're boobs size, I guess they can change that,

are they're intelligence? If there's something that really bothers you that they do have the power to change, it will only make them insecure and resentful. For example, weight issues. If you think you're power to put on some weight, I think we should go on a diet together and those pants aren't very flattering are huge no-nose. So you gotta be careful how you approach a partner.

And remember, you don't end up breaking up with someone and you're like, oh yeah, you're really short anyway, and you don't ever want to do this stuff. Number two, don't ever talk, don't ever say negative things about their friends. Nah, yeah, you can't. Don't ever talk shit about their friends, even if they say mean things about their friends. It will come back to haunt you. It's kind of like you can't talk shit about anyone's parents. Because they'll throw you on the bus on it.

Like women, they just don't think. Like you tell them a little bit of information. Oh, she, you think her friends are bitch, whatever, blah, blah. And then when women get in arguments, it just like she didn't like you either. You think she to pitch and it's funny because when your girlfriend gets in a fight with her girlfriend, it's not like they're never going to talk to each other again. Right. So they're going to say all this stuff in the moment.

Chad, throw you out of the bus like they always do. Right. And then then there can be friends again, 10 minutes later, but then, should I say, and my boyfriend doesn't like you. Yeah, and now you have to stick around and deal with that. Exactly. So, keep it to yourself, man. And also, when your girlfriend breaks up with her boyfriend

for the third time, don't trash the boyfriend because they're gonna get back together again. Yeah, of course. Okay, never talk about good memories of your acts. Never. They only want to hear about the good memories of your acts. Never. They only want to hear about the bad things about your acts. That's true. I honestly, I didn't want to hear bad things

or good things. I really don't want to hear anything because it's kind of like that watching a train wreck thing. You ask your partner all these needling questions about their past and wish you better than me and better wish you better than me and bad. And you just can't get that out of your head. And it doesn't matter. So let me ask just can't get that out of your head. And it's so,

let me ask you something. Read that again one more time. Good memories of your acts. This is different than me. Oh, it's different. Oh, it's totally different. I never talked about good memories of like, oh, when I was dating so-and-so,

I'm just like, you were good friends. I'm never like, remember that time we were dating when we had great sex in the woods? So I'm sure you have nothing to say about your ex that you're going to go hang out with in Mexico. He's not even my ex. I mean, he is my ex, but it's so long ago that we're all canceled out now. So if they love your life and nothing wonderful or magical ever happened before you two

were together, everyone else pills and comparison to them. This is especially true about sex. Just don't go there. So don't talk about your ex, the great sex you had, even if your partner asks you, I don't share just because my exes are all, not only am I friends with all my exes, but my exes are friends,

we don't sit and talk about that time with each other. Look, I'm just telling you right now, if I was dating somebody, I don't care who the hell they were. And I told them that, oh yeah, I'm gonna telling you right now if I was dating somebody I don't care who the hell they were And I told them that oh yeah, I'm gonna go to Mexico hang out with my ex you can come if you want Hey, I'll know that he's coming. He's coming if that ever happened ever They would never never It just that this X is is more my friend like we've been friends longer than we were dated. So I guess he's an X

He's a baby daddy to my dog. We're like best friends He shall remain nameless though. He's very private He'd kill me if I mentioned his name Emily what why are you just gonna just have a clean slate man? What do you mean get rid of all the X's yeah? Let's do it. I love them. They're part of my family. My family doesn't live here. You can talk to them once a while, but going and hanging out with them on vacations is not cool.

I don't care what planet you're on. We had to talk about this on Friday because I invited an ex to meet my current guy in the park and menace was there and it was a mistake. I'm not making you feel bad, but I'm just saying. I'm bringing you to reality, man, like I don't understand.

But that's not related to our show topic. Okay. Okay, so don't talk about all the good men. She doesn't want to hear, he doesn't want to hear about the gay marriage or the acts. Negative things about their parents. Don't insult.

I have a friend who's married, she's been with her husband for eight years, she can't stand his parents, she doesn't tell them. Because people can't hear that she's about their own parents. If they're very close to their parents and you're like criticizing, criticizing, whatever, they're not going to hear it. They're constructive ways to talk about this stuff. But if you say, you're just like your father, you're turning into your mother, like those

things don't work, don't criticize parents. Okay, other things you should never tell your significant other, certain aspects of your sex life. Don't ever, ever tell how many of you have left slept with. Oh, no, never. That question comes up. I don't know why couples like to have this conversation. It's the dumbest conversation you can ever have. The worst thing you can say is that your partner doesn't turn you on anymore.

You can talk about that you are not that you feel like you want to work in your sex life, but to say you don't turn me on anymore, what hurt. Everyone likes to think they're getting bad, far better than anyone else. They've been with focus and try to get the passion back because you had it once. Give your partner positive encouragement and suggestion to make your sex life more interesting. So if you want to work in your sex life by telling your partner that he or she doesn't turn you on anymore, you're not attracted to anymore, is not the place to start.

It has to start with, what can we do to spice us up? Like I always say in the show, talking about your fantasies, talking about what turned you on, but don't tell me they don't turn you anymore. Okay, talking about work. Now you can talk about work sometimes. So you don't want to get into the nitty-gritty

of what goes on in your job, don't say too much to them about what you think might be going on at theirs. So, I wouldn't, the way I'm saying here is, you don't want to give, unless they ask for it, your partner much advice about their own job. How would you feel if you were dating Grunge? You're like, man, you know what you should do? You should tell Emily to f off, or whatever your job is.

No, I don't listen to chicks when it comes to my work at all. Okay, the next thing is that you think that they're sibling is hot. I had a- Don't tell them that they're sibling is hot. Do you ever tell a girl that are sibling is hot? Yeah, I do. When I want to date their sibling. Have you ever dated-

That's another question that I have to give them? I've made out with them. I'm better I told you. I brought up this topic. If there was a girl that You dated to say let's say there was a guy you dated like I don't know 10 12 years ago and now that guy is engaged But you're like oh his brother's always kind of hot, you know, I would do it. Yeah, of course you put why why am I even asking? I would cover it. I would go run a pass my axe and be like you're engaged Congratulations, can I make a make-out with your brother.

Can I hang with your brother? Nothing you did. No, there was this girl that I made out with her sister a couple times at a nightclub. Okay, that's okay. I think I wonder if I ever made out with siblings. I don't think I have, but I would. No, what I've never had sex with siblings. No, I don't think so.

You have to think about that. Okay, and the final thing is, there are vulnerabilities. Whatever it is, your partner feels vulnerable about, vulnerable about. If you think they have good reason, keep it to yourself. If you think they walk funny, don't agree with them. If you think their voice is weird, tell them it's not. I mean, okay, this is kind of extreme. But nobody wants to be reinforced about, I mean, those are kind of silly examples.

But it's important to be honest and open but if they haven't in securities You want to try to build them up and feel better about it. You don't want to greens. Yeah, your ass looks fabulous jeans You know, yeah That's what we got for you today. Oh man. Oh man. Time just flies. We haven't a fucking great time He had us. Thanks everyone anything else. Do you you gotta say at this moment? Ah, this moment we are in San Francisco at thestiture.com studios. Stitcher is an app that you can download for your smartphone. It's really simple, it's free. Great way to listen to the podcast. Yeah, it's STITCHER.

Right. And once you download it, all you do is search the sex of the Emily and then you can get the show. It's so easy. It's amazing. It's amazing. And check out my book, Hot Sacks. Hot Sacks, over 200 things you can get the show. It's so easy. It's amazing. It's amazing. And check out my book, Hot Sex. Hot Sex over 200 things you can try tonight. You can find it on Amazon.

Okay, everyone. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me.