Sex With Emily - SWE: Embarrassing Sex Stories

Episode Date: March 13, 2013

Emily is Las Vegas bound and wants to go to the shooting range. Strippers are the best talkers, orgasms at the gym while using the thighmaster, and your first time having sex will probably be horrible. It’s perfectly normal. Guest Barbie Davenporte, writer for LAWeekly's sex blog AfterDarkLA, tells embarrassing stories about balls and a threesome with two men: one gay and the other engaged.  Please support our sponsors: Max4Men, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Max4Men. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them a bygone Hey, Emily you got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heartbroken. He thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand. Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexthemely.com where you will get all your sex questions answered and you'll be very entertained. And you'll get laid automatically. And you'll get laid automatically. Maybe we did that dial a star thing. Yes, see you got to do it. I know there's some website. I was just walked in the studio and men's was showing me what's it called dial a star. Yeah, it's dial dash a dash star dot com. And like TMZ was just talking about it. about that I'm a star for reals But you could call me and talk but if you would you pay ten bucks an hour we could have a great to our minute

Ten bucks a minute like some of these people are making thousands of dollars an hour It's crazy. That's crazy, but don't you think we'd have a good chat? So maybe I should do it if you guys all want to talk to me I mean I would talk to you for free, but it'd be nice to make a living at some point. Okay, so today, today's show, our guest is Barbie Davenport. She's a writer for the Village Voice Media Sex Blog after darkla.com. And she's going to talk about sex toys that she loves and embarrassing sex stories. So apparently she's got these really embarrassing, crazy sex stories. And she's going to share with us. She's a writer, she's hilarious. We've read all of our stuff. Cool. Isn't that awesome? and she's going to share with us. She's a writer, she's hilarious.

We've read all of our stuff. Cool. Isn't that awesome? We're going to answer your emails and we're going to do sex in the news and we're just going to have a blast. I want to know if she can actually make money writing a blog. That's my interesting. Yeah, you can ask her that.

I have a question because I mean, I write blogs for work, but you know, there's a lot more things I have to do. Right. So I actually get paid to do blogs, but solely, I want to know if you can make a living being a blogger. Yeah, it's hard. that I have to do. So I'm gonna actually get paid to do blogs, but solely, I wanna know if you can make a living being a blogger. Yeah, it's hard, it's hard to do. But if she has juicy stories, I'm sure she's getting some...

Yeah, she's got some good stories, exactly. So we're gonna talk about that. And then Kelsey and I... It's very sex in the city. What? To be a sex blogger? Yeah. I know, I guess people say that I'm like sex in the city

with my sex podcast. Yeah. I mean, we blog. Toads. Toads, man, totally like that. When you're gonna start hooking up with like some really rich guys, so like I can go on lavish trips and stuff like that. See, that's very sex and the city. Soon, soon.

Please. No, honey, I promise I'll take you. I'll take you with me. You're coming up with me when next time. I wanna go somewhere. Yeah, you just gotta look at their watch, they say. Private thing. But my watch

is very this watch fools you. I'm wearing a watch right now that I picked up at Nordstroms and people who have millions of dollars that I've run into say, Oh my God, that's such an awesome watch. Who makes it? I bought this watch for $20 at Nordstroms. It's called tight. The label's titanium and they're like, oh my God, that's such a nice watch. That is a nice watch. $20. A stripper told me once who's on the show, they're shooting.

Well, a stripper's trying to really know what. Yeah, they look at guys watches and that's how they know if they're gonna get the big box. So if you are going to strip club and you want the stripper's attention, it's where a really nice watch. Who cares about the stripper's attention? Some guys do want stripper's attention.

That's a waste of money, guys. I told you that. Yeah. Do you go to strip? You don't go to strip clubs in there. Do you? Hell no. We're not probably going to do that. But they are the best talkers ever in Vegas ever. I know what they make so much money. I went with the old boss one time and he gave myself and his brother $3,000 each because we're going to go go strip club in all night and they I was like man, I'm gonna hold on to this three thousand dollars like there's gonna be no yeah you're like yeah yeah, the strip club not yeah I'm just gonna like but like the strippers there are like top-notch quality like professional talkers like they they'll put in the time and they'll get the money out of you

yeah that's true So how much did you come home with? I? And I'm coming home with like 1500 and it's better like 1500 just like throwing up money everywhere and like what a lot of it was because you can drink and trip clubs are right So a lot of us drinking You can drink it's so clubs here. Can't you? No, you can drink at strip clubs here When they don't get naked when they don't get fully naked, they can get topless, but not completely naked.

But though, if you want to go to ones where they're completely naked, you cannot drink. Right. And it's funny because one time I thought the the loss changed for some reason because I was sitting at a show club. I brought some of my interns with me. And I'll show them a good time. I was really into it. And then the cocktail waitress comes by

and she goes, would you like a beer? I go, a beer? It was just, I would like a beer. Yeah, because the women in front of me were fully new and I was like, I don't believe I could get a beer. So I get the beer, she brings it to me and I drink it. It was the nasty thing I ever drank in my life and I was like what is this? It was not an alcohol. Oh, well, they don't tell you that she didn't tell me see you can't trust them. You can't trust them. You can't trust them.

You can't trust them. You can't trust them. Um, that's so funny, but I don't know. We're talking about Vegas. We're so excited. Kelsey's never been. I know. Oh my God. What are you gonna do? I don't know. Your friends are gonna hook us up. Yeah. I area tweeted you guys. Oh, I've hooked up one of our interns in the past hook us up. Yeah, I area, Tweety's you guys. I've hooked up one of our interns in the past. She had an amazing time. Right. So make sure you guys follow through.

We will follow through. I don't know what you guys are. We're trying to plan our outfits on the way over here. Cause like, how sexy slutty, like, is it every night? People in Vegas are going out crazy. Oh, every night people are going out. Like, Monday is like a Friday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, every single night.

You should really hook up with one of my friends, DJ Greg Lopez. Greg Lopez. He's a really cool guy. Okay, cool. I put them on the tweets with you guys. He's not as active on Twitter, so it might take you a while to. All right. But let me know if he does again. Touch the. Anyone else going to be in Vegas next week? Let us know. We'll be there money Tuesday Wednesday. I know. That's crazy. And I've wanted. We've been trying to plan for years for us to go. First, you plan a trip without me again You go all the time without me menace, but we'll do it. Maybe we should do a show from there bring our little recording I would love to do that. You can go I'm actually going again

Soon probably in April, but you can't come with me. Why why oh, I can't come with you, but you can't come with can't you I can't come with you, but you can't come with, you are mad at me. No, no, no, no, I'm just, you know, you don't. I'm fun, what? Yeah, you are fun, but it's just gonna be different groups of friends and we're gonna go places you're not gonna wanna go. You're gonna want my friends, you don't think I'd like

your friends and they're gonna like me. No, no, I'm sure. That's cool. I'm sure it would be a great time, but it's just like, we would probably go places that you would not. Like, where would you go that I wouldn't wanna go? We're probably gonna go to like really, what. Where would you go that I wouldn't want to go? They're probably going to like really,

what I suggested the other day, I was like, oh, if you go to Vegas, you got to go to the gun store and go shoot guns. You're like, ah, I don't want to do that. That's something that we do every time. I want to know how I change my mind. Oh, did you change your mind? I want to go to gun shooting.

I do. Kelsey, do you want to go gun shooting? Yes. I want to go. Now see the scene. Let me break something down real quick with the gun shooting. Break it down. Break it down. I know there's people with a lot anti guns. I am not a gun owner. I don't want to go buy guns or go shoot them, but it's it's it in controlled environment. Okay, and it's funny because every time I go there and we'll have like

some females with us, they don't want to go. They're like, oh, it's gonna be too loud and all this stuff. But the moment you hand a woman a gun, like a handgun, and they start shooting it, they go crazy. They love it. They get lots of them. Is it right on the strip? The gunstar?

It's like a block off the strip. Okay, I haven't been to Vegas in like years, probably five years, six years. Who's changed, probably changed a lot. Oh yeah, there's a, it's totally like revamped in the, in the middle of the strip, where there's a ton of places, my favorite hotel ever, Cosmopolitan, you gotta go there.

Okay. Amazing food, amazing drinks. Everywhere is amazing food and drinks, I feel. Yeah, it was. No, there's not much shady sketchy places, but there's like some amazing. Yeah, you kinda don't wanna go towards the mirage and Treasure Island, unfortunately, because

those used to be really awesome, but it smells like a sewer over there. Oh, really? Good to know. You got to give us more tips where we go. It smells like a sewer, Kelsey, write that down. But we're going for the ILS International Laundry Show, and then we'll be, and there's a lot of sex toy people there and all that stuff. So we're going to meet all of them and have a good time.

So I've got a little bit of sex in the news for ya. What do you got? I love the first story, because I can totally relate. No vibrators required women have orgasms of the gym. Ladies, if you've yet to fulfill your new resolutions to work out here's another reason to hit the gym, you might just have an orgasm. Kinsey found out in 1953 that at least 5% of women

climaxed during workouts, but recent research at University of Indiana showing the number may be higher. Survey showed that of women who's orgasm, 45% orgasm after multiple sets of crunches, and what is known as a coregasm. Coregasm. 20% experience pleasure on the exercise bike, 10% for climbing, lifting weights, running blah, blah, blah. Okay, here's a deal.

I used to, I told you this years ago, but because we've been talking about this in the world But no you haven't told me I used to have orgasms the gym all the time No way you're lying. I'm so pissed that I can't anymore I actually look at this machine finally and I it's the one where you put your legs down and you spread them open You don't have a thigh with the thigh machine and you can do it reverse like when you push out with your thighs and and I would have an orgasm every single time like every morning and it was amazing But it doesn't happen anymore and I'm pissed. I look at the machine I'm like, oh, it's like an ex-boyfriend. I don't want to do any more. We such great times with Jim

But it is kind of it says that women are embarrassed the many of the women surveyed actually express a kind of embarrassment I'm not embarrassed. I'm psyched type of orgasm with a gem. My gay gem, no one paid attention. Maybe that's why you got the gay gem. No, this was years ago at my straight gem. Yeah, but you said it doesn't happen now. Maybe because it hasn't happened in years. But maybe the workout equipment is just not into women. I think my body changes.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. No one of that gem's into women. They look at me like I'm dirt. No, just kidding. It's nice actually the gay gem because no one cares that gyms into women. They look at me like I'm dirt. No, just kidding. I'm just not. It's nice actually the age of him because no one cares about me. Okay, so Chloe and Lamar on the rocks. Do you see this coming? Manus first the sex swing, now the marriage. Everything is falling apart for Chloe Kardashian and the maro. I know. People are just mind everyone to be unhappy, which is so stupid. So, I was saying Lamar is furious that Chloe refused to socialize

with the Mavericks players and their wives, even bailing or getting involved with charities connected to the team. Whether this diva behavior comes from her being a diehard lagers fan or diehard narcissist as anyone's guest. So he's pissed that she won't talk to the best. I don't believe it. Don't believe it. Okay, you think they're happy? Um, I'm sure there's there are a lot of adjustments moving to a new city and stuff like that. And then she's used to having her family around all the time. But I don't believe that she's the daughter of the rock. The daughter of the rock. I'm so like that. I honestly don't have the daughter of the

diva though, right? No, I mean, she's very outspoken. Right. But I don't believe she. Okay, that's our Kardashian story for the day. Okay, Lee knows about Kim Kardashian, baby. Right. I was reading that she was dating Kanye West. Amber Rose, whose Kanye West's ex-girlfriend says that is true, that's the reason that they broke up was because of Kim Kardashian. Yeah, he said that they say he's in love

with her, I read it the gym this morning. So, we'll see what happens. I can be funny. It's funny because they're not really public about it. She's very public about everybody that she's dating but for some reason, not about Kanye West. Yeah, the story is that he was in love with her and he'd do anything to get it in Miriam.

Why would you want to marry her? Seriously, she's started to marry three times, didn't work very well. Yeah, I don't think he, but I see Kanye West as somebody keeping her in line. Yeah, he's got his own stuff going on too. Yeah, Kanye West, he's very strong headed. Yeah.

Okay. And that's actually it, people always ask me, if you get an interview, anybody in the world, who would you interview, and I would say Kanye West? Why? Because I feel say Kanye West. Why?

Because I feel that I understand why he is the way he is. Which way, in which way? He, people will say, you know, he's very arrogant. And, you know, he does all this stuff. He's very cocky into himself. And I believe the reason that he is that way is, when he was coming up and trying to be famous and trying to be a rapper, no one gave him a chance.

Like, people signed them to the label just to make beats for other rappers and stuff like that. They didn't really want him to come out with an album. They didn't believe in him. So when he became a success, now he's like, look at me now, look at me now, no one believed me. Look at me now, you know? So I think that's the reason why he is today.

Okay, well that's what happened to a lot of celebrities. They don't make it. They don't make it. Then they make it. Yeah. But I think that he still holds on to that a lot. Right. And that's why he comes off. So you're going to break it down with Kanye West when you get to interview him. And I'll see. See if you see. Dude, I feel your pain. I understand you. Is that what you're going to say to him? No, I'm going to be like, this is why I think you act the way you do. And tell me if I'm right or not. And see what he has to say. See what happens. Sorry, but I don't think I ever happened. He doesn't. He doesn't. No, unless you're like super famous. Okay. Well, I'll work on that for you.

Leonardo DiCaprio is a bit of a stinker says gal pal. And is bid to save the planet. Leonardo DiCaprio is apparently causing quite a stink by only showering a few times a week, refusing to read deodor other end which he considers a natural and letting recyclables pile up in his kitchen he's not only turning green he's turning off his model girlfriend Aaron Heatherton sources say she's warned him to be more hygienic but his love for mother earth may win out in the end yeah yeah I know people like this I do too it's it's tough it It's a men smell if they don't wear deodorant. Yeah, and it's just...

It's more the natural deodorant. Doesn't really work. That doesn't work at all. I know, but at least it's something. Oh man, yeah, it's hard because they're like, oh, I don't want to put chemicals on my body, but what do you do? I'm not that uptight.

I'm not that uptight. Can you do that crazy? You smell what I'm smelling right now? No, they can't. They can't. smelling right now. No, they can't. They can't. They have to. No, you can't smell sometimes. It's really strong.

You can't. You still really make an effort to smell yourself, and even then you don't smell as bad to you as you smell as bad to everyone else. It is, yeah, it's pretty bad. And I wish that there was a natural way of taking care of it, but none of that natural stuff works. It does, that's what I hear.

I just use, or I use chemicals and everything. I eat on healthy. Now I'm pretty healthy, but I eat junk, whatever. I'm not worried. Like I'm referring so tight. Yeah, and it's funny because all these people, we have to save the planet. I understand that.

And I recycle sometimes. Look, you're not, you're not gonna live forever. And I know it's probably gonna prolong your life a bit more, but what is, what kind of life is there if you're always worried about things, you know? I know. You've got to have some fun, man.

Yeah, and again, it's going to probably affect your painting life incredibly. Exactly. He's going to lose another model. So I worry about him. Okay, Katy Perry Biopic is on the way. Can't get enough of Katy in Russell Drabba. If you can hold out 2013, all your dreams will be answered. And the film Katy Perry Part of Me. It's a 3D biographical film that promises to dish out all the dirt on the star's failed marriage.

Perry's upcoming album is also re-wood to unleash a lot of Katy's pent up Russell rage. Why would she have pent up Russell rage? Why would she be doing that? I don't know, because he shes like the way he handled the divorce. Well, it might be a little bit of karma because her ex before him was so hung up on her. Like, he's still affected about her. Like, she kind of just broke up with him

and this guy was like super in love with her. And it was like, it was very public on how broken up this guy was. Wow, I don't remember this. His name is Traviem McCoy. He sings in Jim Class Heroes. He's really, he's actually a really popular singer. He has like a bunch of hits on the radio right now.

And a lot of songs were like about her and he heavily got into, I'm assuming, I'm not saying that it really happened that he got into drugs. I mean, I know that he smokes a lot of weed because he's very public about that. But, you know, maybe maybe it's karma. If you treat people a certain way, it's going to come back.

That's true. I'm going to get a lot of trouble one day. A lot of karma. A lot of dudes. I have a lot of I have a lot of believe in karma. A lot. I believe in karma. Yeah.

Like if you treat people a certain way or you do things. I do too. I try to be a good person in the world, but I have hurt a lot of men in my past, not on purpose, but just breaking up with them. Because of your past. It's because of my past has ruined everything. I know my past has ruined my life. But no, I've broken up with a lot of men

that I know I just wasn't ready to move to the next level and get married or whatever, move in together. And they're a hard broken. They were hard broken, but they all move on. Everyone moves on. Yeah. But I think I didn't a really nice way.

So I think I still have good karma. I never was mean to anybody. I thought no one's listening right now. You were like, ah, they're gonna call me. She was a bitch. I'm glad no one can call in right now. Okay, so let's move on to some emails. You can always email me at feedback at sexwithemily.com.

You can follow me on Facebook, Twitter,withemily.com. You can follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily, and you can follow menace and white menace in all those places. Everything. I've got a lot of sex with Emily listeners, been following me on Facebook and Instagram. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. It's so busy on Instagram. I wish you would follow me on Tumblr too. I promise I'll do more Tumblr updates. Okay, I need to do my Tumblr update. And then we've got to do Pinterest and then... I'm on Pinterest. I'm on Pinterest.

I am. Are you? Yeah, I'm on Pinterest and I don't really use it. I don't have time. Who's got time to pinch it all day long? I don't know, but I'm really into to path, but I can't get any more friends because they have a hundred and fifty friend limit. I'm already at my limit, but I really enjoy it. So you guys should download it. You would have fun. Okay, sounds good.

All right, we got emails. All right, Emily, I'm pretty, I'm pretty into the program and the Emily Morris experience, but I love your show. My first time was pretty recent. New Year's Eve 2010, and as a guy,

the vagina that I was in did nothing for me. It was a lousy lay, and of course, I didn't tell her that, but the sex eventually get better. Gordon from Madison, Georgia. Georgia? We've been getting a lot of virgins writing lately, or people who are new to sex. Yes, it gets better.

I promise you, it gets better. I want to know how you know she was so lousy if you've never had sex before. She was so lousy, he said it was lousy in general. He said the vagina that I was in did nothing for me. It was a lousy, if you've never had sex before. She was a Lousy, he said it was Lousy in general. He said the vagina that I was in did nothing for me. It was a Lousy lay, and of course, I didn't tell her that. Yeah, that's every vagina in the beginning. You're like, really, that's it.

That's what I've been waiting my entire life for. But exactly, I mean, you're new at it. Sex gets so much better. In fact, that's one of the good things about getting older is that sex actually gets better and better and better, especially for women. But men too. Men, you know, I wouldn't worry about it. It sounds to be great the first time.

If you had amazing orgasm inducing crazy sex the first time in your woman, let me know. If your guy and your first time was great, you can let me know. I've never- I've never heard that from anybody like Like, oh, I had amazing sex. My first time. No, it's the first time. You get out of the way. Everyone says it's lame.

Yeah, it's kind of like going to the doctor for a check. It's like, it's almost like, I don't even know what, analogy I can't think of on right now, but it's just like you gotta go through it. It's like a rep was it, prerequisite to having great, to good sex eventually. You gotta go through the first time, but it sounds just to be great.

Yeah, and then just, you know, find some chick that has some experience to show you a couple things and then move on to the next one. Yeah, day and older woman maybe. Not really. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman.

Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman.

Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Not really the older woman. Emily, I love your show. This is my first time writing in. My boyfriend of one year is a new medical resident. I understand he's busy, but lately I've been resentful that he hasn't been reinforcing me in our long-distance relationship. Hawaii to the mainland. A month ago, I told him it would be nice to have more support. He said he does not believe in doing things to be romantic. Ingeishans set the bar too high for the future. Instead of making crazy demands, I've gone, oh, okay. He says he does not believe in doing things

he romantic and gai shins at the bar too high for the future. Instead of making crazy demands, I've gone out of my way to show through example how nice it is to have someone go out of the way for you, IEA Center, a care package, I tax with a few reasons that are important to you. It's gotten me nowhere. How do I bring this up in a way that seems reasonable?

This is from Emily, another Emily from Honolulu, Hawaii. So this is a chick doing this to a guy. Yeah, and they're in a long distance relationship and she wants them to be romantic and do things so that she knows that he has feelings for her when they're apart. And I think that he's got to stuff it up a little bit. Yeah, I mean, guys don't really think this stuff is too sentimental as you want them to think it is. You know, when a girl sends me a card or send me some things, I go, oh yeah, that's cool. You know, but if it was reversed where a guy was sending it to a girl

like she's like, oh my God, she would think it was so sweet and she would probably call her girlfriend and say, amazing was, she would probably tag a photo of it on Facebook and tell everybody, but a guy just don't do that. I mean, you shouldn't really take it too much to the heart, but... I want to know exactly what she wants. So she sent him a care package and texted all the reasons she likes them.

But what do you think? I think it's a compromise here, Emily, that she's gonna look at what, what do you be willing to do? Like, it sounds like he's not the care package guy. He doesn't like romantic silly things. But what would really make you feel good? Do you just need him to say nice or things to you

when you're on the phone, the compliments, or do you need him to be like, I miss you, is he not even using that language? Because a lot of women feel good about that. If you're in a relationship, you want to hear, like, I miss you, I care about you, but not everyone goes into the care package thing. So maybe you're not, I don't know, I wonder if you're getting the verbal

reinforcement that you need. I wonder if that's enough because you can't force the guy to do something like this. I kind of want to go to the library. But how hard is it for guidance and flowers? Me too. I need a beach vacation. I've even had one in years. I need some sun. Me too. Mexico. No. We're so close. I'll end up in a Mexican prison. There's no Mexico. No. We're so close. I'll end up in a Mexican prison. There's no way. Probably.

You ended up in Disney prison, so you might as well as a Mexican prison. No way, I don't want to go to Mexican prison. No way. I'll be in prison so quick. But she can bring it up. Okay, so wait, she asks me, how do I bring this up in a way that seems reasonable?

Well, I think Emily that you should have a talk with them and say, you know what, I'm really feeling like, and you should really spend some time thinking about exactly what you need. Because maybe you're feeling like he doesn't miss you as much, and he's not matching your emotions. So think about what you need and won't make you feel good. If you really do think you need flowers once a month or you need something, I mean, I have a lot of, I'm not like this, but I have plenty of girlfriends who are like, would tell guys, like, I need to feel special. You need to do something for me. And when my best friends tell this guy that she's like, you need to like,

bavvy flowers or bami jewelry or like, do something that makes you feel special every once in a while, and they would start to do it. So I think you could just say, I want to feel special. And these are the things that are important to me. And tell them, yeah, really go deep and figure out what it is that you're lacking. Is it really the flowers or is it more like reinforcement?

And I heard dating who wise. Terrible. Really? My assistant, she lived in Hawaii for two years and she's like, there's only like a couple hundred people you could date and everybody's slept with each other. It's like San Francisco. It's like San Francisco. The problem is, the thing is with San Francisco, you can go outside the city and date if you

want to. But you're stuck in the line. Is that all these all these girls are boning are they from the East Bay South Bay South Bay East Bay South Bay all around the Bay. It's like except for North Bay. I sleep with girls all around the Bay Not North Bay. Not nothing. We know from Marin. Why not? Because I'm telling you People that are Not from the Bay Area. Not from the Bay Area, if you're listening. We have the East Bay, the South Bay, and the North Bay.

And I just don't go on the North Bay. North Bay is Napa, Marin, all that stuff. Beautiful. It's very beautiful. It's just a different vibe, different type of people. It is a different vibe. Yeah, I get it. I get it.

It's just not me. It's not your peeps. It's not my people. But you're being in girls who are mostly out of the city. Don't live in the city. Yeah. Or are are from are originally from that area. Got it. Like no. Okay, just curious. I don't really know. I know, but also I don't date anybody that's just recently moved to San Francisco. No, right. Because because they have to go and do all the, you know, I just moved to San Francisco. I got to go hang out in the Lorses Park and get to run. The Lorses Park is fun. It is fun, but it's just like people come here and when they move here and they just do

the same things like, oh, I'm going to get into. What's wrong with that? What if you weren't going to go to the beach? What if you weren't going to go to the beach? Yeah, that's cool, but the thing is alcatraz. It's just it's not I want to really know who they are. It's just like people just follow the same pattern when they move here from another state. They go. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna go hang out in the mission for a while and be a mission hipster. And then after that, you know what? I'm

gonna go bro it up in the arena of San Francisco, you know what, I'm gonna go and grow it up in the marina of San Francisco. You know, they just go through. They just go through. They just go through. They just go through. They just go through. Every neighborhood is their own personality and it's never to go. Yeah.

So I think that people usually pick a neighborhood and stick to it, no? No, I think people progress and they go through different phases. And I would like to meet them at the end of their phase. I have a friend who will not date anybody who lives in certain neighborhoods. Do you have that?

He's like, I won't date a marina check. Like anyone who lives in the marina, he won't, he's like, if she tells me she lives in the marina, I'm not interested anymore. No, no, I don't, I don't know. You don't do that. You don't, you don't know. I know, they do have different personalities though.

People that you date in between. For sure. Okay. Sexually moving on after relationship. Dear Emily, so a couple of months ago, I got out of a four year relationship, my only sexual relationship. I love sex, but I'm nervous about sexually moving on. Is this normal?

I mean, it's probably cliche, but I never planned to have sex with more than him. Kind of exciting to try something new now, though, because he was really small. What's your opinion? From Savon, she's from Modesto, California. She's a premium friend of benefits member. The 209. Hello, Modesto. Okay.

Um, four- desk though. Okay, for your relationship, okay, it is, okay, it's totally normal to be nervous about moving on sexually, especially if this was your first guy that you're with. But if you're excited, I know that you said you didn't plan on having sex with more than him, but that's what you think when you're young and you're having sex for the first time. But you're excited, you're saying new, he was kind of small,

does the way to get out there and you see other penises, they're not all really small, there's some big ones or some wide ones, you can just go experience penises. But let me tell you, it's that Savon, it's totally fine. Do we nervous, don't jump into it, tell you ready, don't force anyone force you into having sex, and just stick with yourself, and don't. You can find a bigger penis.

Find a bigger penis. Yeah, that's a good news. Downside small penis, outside new relationship, bigger penis, baby. I know her area very well. I have a lot of friends that live out there. What's the penis is like? I don't know their penises, but that area is actually,

you're 20 something you got a kid. Are you, you know, you've been a jail a couple of times. It's like the dating out there is kind of rough Okay, yeah, I didn't know that she's a friend's benefits my my my so God speed Good luck to you so I maybe she moved San Francisco and sleep with people who are a bunch of hipsters All right, let's call our guest Okay, Barbie Davenport. She's a writer for the village voice media sex blog after dark LA and she's got some crazy embarrassing sex stories,

and she knows all about sex, sex toys. We're gonna talk to her in a minute. And she, yeah, she's ready for After Dark LA. She's got sex stories, like, for example, she had a threesome with a gay guy and it engaged dude, yes, it's possible. That's one of her titles. No, okay, hold on, we'll call her real quick.

We just gotta, damn, I just called it. Sorry, try again. How'd you even hook up with this? We hooked up with her through, you know who we hooked up with, with her through my co-author of my book, Hot Sex, which I haven't talked about lately. I wrote a book with Jamie Waxman called, Hot Sex, over 200 things you can try tonight

and you can buy on Amazon right now and That's she introduced us and she thought that Barbie would be a great guest and here we have it. All right. Well we're calling her right now Let's do it Hello, hey Barbie. It's Emily. I'm good. How are you? You're on the radio. You're on the radio. You're on live right now with me and Menace. I basically live with my life as if I'm always on the radio. I love it.

I didn't even tell you. What even happened? You'd be the same person. Okay. So Barbie is so excited. We've been reading your blog and we know that you've got your stories on afterdarkla.com which are great. And then you also see even embarrassingursing sex stories which some of

you write about so what is your like most what's your go to most embarrassing story because we haven't heard anything yet well it's kind of hard to choose because it really depends on who the audience is because like you get those sort of embarrassing stories involving bodily fluid and you're like no I don't know if I want to really share those but the one that we've always come to mind was, I happened to fornicate with a porn star a couple years ago, no big deal.

But I really wanted to make it my mission to sort of show him like, did I'm the BJ queen? Right, of course. You know, and he's been blown by do Zen Girls. and I really just was convinced that I could show him that hey They all of them they can just you know, of course, of course my mouth is like a fucker. Yeah So I go for it and it's all good doing well. I've happened to be pretty good at it So I'm told right and I go for the you know, off forgotten and um... i go for the you know off forgotten

area of the ball region but what in my mouth and then he jumps up jolt and yelps almost picked me in the face as if i had maybe like to judge something but but i think that is not on fire like it was so bizarre and so i am and and and me on still there and like the left ball is

hanging out of my mouth full Like the reason you're okay like what's going on and He is up to me goes oh, I'm just a little sensitive and I look at him like are you fucking kidding me? Like I'm just a little You're really fucking sensitive. You almost knocked my expensive teeth out, right? But I really like I had already followed through and so I Was gently removed it from my mouth and then once for the other and then Really just I guess my own stubborn nature. I just kind of kept going and every time I would touch his bones

He'd kind of like kick me in the face of a wall and wow going because it was like if I had left I would have failed my mission exactly no you had to take it through first Yeah, but some guys just don't like it Don't let the balls touch men. It doesn't like his balls touch and then I've tried Yeah, I haven't tried Everyone else they ever talked to is like oh my god What the fuck would touch my ball? It does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem like it does not seem? It does not seem like a- No, it does not seem like a- But then this is weird. So, menace is not your normal dog. Hold on, hold on. Like, of course, if you tell a guy,

I want to touch your balls, I'm like, oh yeah, go ahead, touch my balls, you know, you can't get an honest opinion. Just not every single guy is into it, that's all. Yeah, but he's a porn star, isn't that a prerequisite? Like, balls, chess. Yeah, but it doesn't matter if he's a porn star, it doesn't mean he does everything. Yeah, it does. Doesn't mean if you're a porn star doesn't mean he does everything yeah does i don't know if you're sorry to do everything

okay totally true right you get it you're like you have all people would like your ball socks so you finally gave mcciller bj though right even except for the little ball incident you have a bunch of times and then i let him have sex with me a few times just because was he good what was that my bucket list exactly he was he was good i, he's definitely good. It was more like I was looking up at him being like, I'm having sex with this guy.

It was kind of like an adonis statue, but it's goofy. And I'm just, this is just weird. And it was a little bit strange because you were always wondering, it's kind of performing right now. Right. Exactly. That's what I would be wondering. I'm like, he's really into it, but whatever. But if he was good, I guess I wouldn't care. And I'd just take my ego out of'm like he's he's really into it but what i would be good i guess i wouldn't care and take my ego out of it

pretend that he was really into it because he was really good exactly getting banged and you're probably having a record of the goal and that's cool that's good what else is on your bucket list that you've crossed off that i have crossed yeah i don't know just one of the stories

well i ended, let's see. I did the gate. I did the porn star. I did the gay porn star thing because he was sort of like, he swung both ways. Okay, so you got the word. Yeah, done. I managed to, and it was a total accident, um, have a sort of three way with an older gay man and an engaged straight dude. Wow.

Which is terrible, but I was already going to hell a long time ago. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, OK. Yeah. And it was just one of those things where really just trace amounts of booze were involved. And one of them was totally sober.

So there's no excuses. The gay dude really got off on the idea of watching the straight dude go to town on a straight girl. When he met me, apparently I fulfilled his entire like, she's the one totally. And then we happened to be in one room, three of us together talking about something like business related, which is not sexy in any way. And then, the thighs were touched and this happened and then blah. And so, like, that was off the list. And then, at the same time, I also sort of had a little thing on my bucket list of like being sort of a in-power like, like, DOM situation,

but without violence or pain. And basically, like, the two dudes ended up sitting next to each other on the bed, like, just watching me not do anything even remotely sexual, it's kind of like stared at them a lot. Right. I did take, you know, I did take my top off, whatever, but I didn't touch one of them, either of them,

and like, they both did their thing. And so it was like, stare them in the eye. Wow. Right. Right. So that that is so cool. That's awesome. So what do you think about the fact that you write about

sex? I mean, I talk about sex. You write about sex. Do people feel like do you feel like men or women who ever your wife have certain expectations of you? Like, well, how do you deal with that? Because I find it to be. Totally.

Right. They're like, oh, sex, that means. So you're going to see with me now and you're probably a prostitute and whatever. So how do you deal with that? Because I don't know what the hell to do. I'm just kidding, yeah. I don't know, I don't know.

I want to always say this, it's open communication and also being very willing to say, go get the fuck out. They end up for crossing a line. And honestly, I don't even mean that in a sexual way. What has happened a few times on the dating scene is one dude saw my Facebook page, which really

has a lot of articles. I've written a lot of it has to do with sex ed and sexual health. But he approached me and was like, hey, what's with all the kinky sex shit on your Facebook page? And immediately I should have been like TTYL, but I didn't because it was kind of attractive. So we hadn't even gone out yet. So I explained, it's not kinky sex stuff.

It's actually education-based, if you read it. Right, exactly. Wait a minute. Does that mean there's some kinky sex freak? And then I was like, uh, and I still should have said fuck off. Right. And so I explained, well, no, it's my job. And I'm a journalist, and this is my topic of choice.

And then he goes, well, then wait a minute. What's your take on monogamy? And then boom, like explosion. You're an idiot. Right. It's good. It's easy because this was the topic that she was about. I was untrustworthy.

I was polyamorous and totally irresponsible and crazy and some of Kinky, you know, Rico who God does God knows what, you know. Emily still would have won out with them. I would have gone out with them maybe by mistake. I would have just probably dated for six months. I've been like, okay, here's my number. And then I would have been like, I've really never liked him and then dated for six months. But that's my problem. Yeah. I've done I've been there Emily I understand like I what I'm doing with saying you know I just don't even I'm not interested in meeting with you the fact that I've already defending something I shouldn't

have to defend the red flag to that. But then like seven months later he managed to convince him to go on a hike with him and meet face-to-face and like chalk it out and he ended up being this very overweight like lump and I out hiked him and he was sweating all time and trying to sort of almost defend himself and make it seem like there he had reason to believe that those things and I was like are you fucking joking, dammit, we're on the side of a mountain. Right. And we're homicide if I kicked him.

Right. Totally. Exactly. You gotta be careful that Who goes hiking on a day? Who goes hiking? Oh, men. This is anti-hiking date Like that's all men. It's got out of that. He's like he's just like really you made someone hike People I used to go on hiking days. It's so weird. I think that's weird That we do it all the time. I think that's like so like you have to size you get to look at birds Why is that we do it all the time? I think that's like so.

You get to look at birds. I think that's like, oh, I'm gonna bear you in the middle of the fucking forest. That's true, maybe not a blind date hiking. I don't know. Blind date hiking is a bad idea. Blind date, exactly. Don't do a blind date hiking.

That's okay. If you learned anything from the sex on the show, you learned that today. So what about you also read a lot about sex toys. So what are some of your new favorite toys out there? Anything we haven't heard of anything new coming around the bend that I should own right now? Honestly, yeah, there's something that I haven't even received yet, but I've done so much writing and I have so much I've so many colleagues in that side of the industry who have just been raving about it that I can't wait for my into coming the mail It's called fixation. Okay. If I X as in fam mail. It's called Fixation, F-I-X-S as in fam, Asian.

And it's basically a putter of vibrator that you wear while you have intercourse. Oh, cool. Just something so unlike all the bullshit, like jelly butterfly ugly things that you can buy at novel piece stores. There's paint dummy little bug that's supposed to be cute. It's just a really effective aeronomically shaped

bean that is held onto you using lingerie like belts. So it's like a little lace belt. Oh, that's cool. So it stays in place. Right. That's cool. I've never heard of it.

Okay. I love it. I've never heard of that one because there are like the wee vibe. It's supposed to be like the couples vibe ready. You can do this during a sex. But I like that this one just stays on and stays in place. Then you go to your business. Yeah. Yeah. There are lots of problems with somebody's dual youth vibrators because they assume that every woman is the same size and shape. Right. And often that stuff never ends up hitting the spot. You need it to hit. Exactly.

And at the end of the day, the spot you really need to hit is your quit. Right. And you know, who gives a shit about spot you really need to hit is your quit. Right. And you know, who gives a shit about the G spot honestly because you can angle yourself and have, you know, assuming that the dick is in there at a hard, it'll hit your G spot on its own. So these types of items are really useful because they don't move and don't get in the way because they're really... And that is so cool.

Okay, when you get one, you gotta tell us how it goes. I'm gonna get one too. We'll just, uh, I'm excited. Really? Okay, what else? Anything else? What is this rock box that you were talking about? So something really exists that's strong. You wrote about this. The rock box. That's another crazy thing. Um, I haven't tried it and I'm actually not interested in trying it only because I am not at the point where I need that much power in order to get off. Okay, you're so lucky. I was thinking it sounds good.

More powerful than the Hattachi Magic one. See, that's one I'm saying. It's so much more powerful. That's why I'm, that's what I'm very hesitant with the sex toys because I just feel like, and it's balls. You know, you're just gonna need to go bigger and bigger and bigger.

It's like, it's like a drug. It's like a drug. That's a gateway. It's a gateway. It sounds like if I get the rock box, my, like my, my, people my the walls are so thin in my part building that like my neighbors think there's like an earthquake or something. They already do with the attach. Yeah, it's so it's so loud. It is so powerful, but it

really is so effective for women who find that the in most of them love the ones the attach you want is like there, you know, second little adoptive's child, whatever, and they, you know, keep it safe and keep close. And this is sort of like, it looks like a power tool minus the sharp object at the end of the power tool. Oh my God. Oh, I know. And it has this sort of silicone tongue-like attachment that just, it's thick, but it's the motor is so powerful that even the thick silicone starts to wiggle and wobble. Okay. And there's like, I think five or six speeds and the six speed, their video is online, actually

is a video on my site because I wrote about this. It goes so, it's so powerful that the woman is holding it in her hand and it's practically jumping from hand to hand. Oh my God. Let's see, that sounds like two. That's great. That sounds like you're explaining like an engine for like a crane or something like that. Yeah.

Yeah, I kind of am. Exactly. Can you buy? Okay, so what else is coming out that you can buy? You know, one of our sponsors is Good Vibrations. So lots of toys you can buy at Good Vibrations. Dot Good Vibes.com and you use QPUNCO GVM-LE 15 for 15% off. Most purchase from Good Vibes.

So what can someone buy? What's some more mainstream things that is out right now that you're loving? Some more mainstream. Well, I was going to say something that is starting to become more mainstream friendly. I don't know if you've heard of, you know, electrostinulation or electricity. A little bit. Yeah, I have. I have. Of course, yeah. It's something that I don't know. Yeah, it's very kinky and it looks really creepy and kind of scary, but there's a company that came out with something called the twilight wand and they made it really easy to just have

To it's like a longer wand made of glass and at the very end of the glass Tip it just sort of sends out a little bit of static electricity shock Okay, and it really just feels like a little. Just like how a vibrator hits you. It's literally hitting your skin with an offset motor. And what the twilight one does is it just hits your skin with a different kind of stimulation. And it's really easy to make it super light or more of a heavier feeling. And it feels like little tingles. And it's a really comfortable handle and a really easy to control

cool setting so you couple they're actually using it together because a lot of times couple just sort of like I'm looking for the next thing exactly electricity to wait doing our own that's also cool even though yeah I mean I mean for mainstream stuff like regular vibrators for women who really need a lot of power and love their hotachies, but it's kind of loud and they're kind of obnoxious looking. Yes. Ju-ju, which is this really cool British company. You might be familiar. Yes. It'll go by like them. They have something called the Mimi, which is a little pebble vibrator.

And it's seamless and it looks very sort of stylish and high-tech modern. It's got a really powerful motor and I forget how many settings but I make four or five different levels with some pulsations and that will definitely get the job done. Oh good. And hand held that it's really nice against your body so you could even use it on muscles, on the underside of the balls and the underside of the shaft. Yeah, the Mimi. Okay, that's cool.

I like Shazoo. They make those keggo balls too. I have a few balls. I have to keep meaning to use those balls. Thank you so much, Barbie. You're awesome. People can find you at AfterDarkLA.com. Yeah, yeah.

They can find me on Twitter at the... the david port or after dark l.a. is also on twitter and i'm on facebook and i'll answer any questions you've got as long as they're appropriate and well-worded you have to use good grammar okay perfect will let me have this all in our website as well thank you so much barbie will talk to you soon good get your best go for more stories you can share go do some other stuff that you can share with us

Oh, I'll start thinking let's start thinking okay, perfect. Okay. Bye Barbie. Have a good day Okay, yeah, I would have more I know isn't she awesome. She's a great writer. You got to check out her blog and after dark L.A. so you.com, you should ask her how she makes a living, you were going to ask for that. I was, but you get a word, yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't really do that. Walking. Okay, so, uh, walking in talking. Okay, so that's what we got for you today on Sex with Emily. Anything else you'd like to add, Matt? Uh, yes, we're here at the Sitcher Studios in San Francisco, California. If you want to listen to the show on your mobile device,

your smartphone, your Android, your iPhone, they have iPad app. There is a desktop version, which I don't know if it's too public yet, but download the app, it's totally free. And then once you download the app, you just search Sex and Emily and you can listen to Sex and Emily on the go.

And you should become a friend with benefits member. We do three shows a week, you get lots of perks, even more perks coming. It's 4.99 a month, it's like 23 cents a day and we totally appreciate everyone who supports so because if you're listening to the show, we need your support. We're giving you better sex so we appreciate it. You feel me? You feel me? Okay everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily.

Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemely.com. You feel me? You feel me? Okay everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemlee.com.