Sex With Emily - SWE: Escaping the Friend Zone

Episode Date: July 25, 2012

What do you do if you like, "like" a friend? Emily works through the problem of a lovelorn, friend-zoned listener while she herself starts to date a longtime acquaintance. Do you perform "the reach" in a restaurant on your second date? Emily points out why you should - and don't worry, it won't get you thrown out. If your oral sex routine is getting a little yawn-worthy, Emily's got some oral sex tips to keep things exciting. Also, learn how to communicate about condoms, and how you can stop dating losers once and for all. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Better relationships equal better sex. Sinclair Institute, the leader in sex education products for adults, has been saying it for over 20 years. I've seen some of their DVDs and I highly recommend them. Find Sinclair's ad on my products page on my website, sexwithemily.com, and say 50% off any one item when you put an Emily 50 at checkout. Enjoy the show. I promise your sex life will improve.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mark our sacred institutions. Betrubize. They call them in a bike on day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. Hey girls, gotta understand.

Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but only? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Evelyn is not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to our podcast on it for mailing lists. Find out how to follow us on Twitter and Facebook and all that good stuff. Thanks everyone for listening to this show. We love being here during the show. Don't we, men? Yeah, we do. It's been like such good times. It has been good time. I know. I'm just

so happy. I was walking here thinking we've had some good times. It has been good times. I know. I'm just so happy I was walking here and thinking, we've had some good times and I get excited to see you every week, men. Well, thank you. I wanted you to know that. I really enjoyed our last podcast. I know. Those were great guests. We're going to have a lot more guests in 2011.

Yeah, I booked. You can find them on Stitcher. Greg from Fernando and Greg just searched Fernando and Greg on Stitcher. And you can listen to their podcasts. They're hilarious. And so feel like the one of the most popular morning shows in San Francisco.

And so Greg is going to come by. I can't wait in a few weeks, right? Yeah. And so we are going to be having more guests like we used to. If you know, we've got 190 some other shows. And so a lot of them, we have guests, some we don't, but there's going to be more shows and more guests in 2011. So today's show, we're going to be reading your emails

that you sent to feedback at sexwithemily.com. Some topics include condoms and communication. If you're in love with a friend, what to do, do you tell her? Hand jobs, ejaculation, and so much more about sex. Plus, we'll be giving you some hot new sex facts from 2010. What were the hottest sex facts of 2010 and some sex in the news. And that's what we're doing here. This is the 45 minute show. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Family.

What's your plans for the weekend? My plans for the weekend. You usually go to, hold on, don't stop me. You usually go to a cabin somewhere with just friends and consume wine. Exactly. So what are you doing this weekend? This weekend I'm staying in town in San Francisco and I actually have a date. Really? Yes. Who is this person that I can analyze?

Can you analyze and break him down? He's the guy I've actually gone on a few dates with with old friends. It's an interesting scenario that we've been friends for a while. And a bunch of people said to me, you should date this guy. You should date this guy. Why don't you date him? And then I finally, I was like, OK, I'll date him.

Because I think he's awesome. But we never thought about dating. And now we just started. We've got a few dates. I never thought about dating. It just never. Honestly, we were friends. And it never occurred to me.

He's always wanted to date you. No, I don't think so. No, not possible. Why not possible? Because guys don't think that way. You think that he's always wanted to date me. Why wouldn't he have asked me out? Because maybe he's a pus. No, he's not.

Who, how did this going out eventually happen? Because your friends kept on suggesting literally it was you couldn't do it. You couldn't pull the trigger. Three friends of mine in a matter of month. Three really good friends. Let's call him Joe just because they said to me One friends has to me friend number one Emily Why did you just date Joe and I'm like Joe and then friend number two? You'd be great with Joe

Joe and then friend number three you should go out with Joe So that night I met a party with Joe and we're all there group because we have a same group of friends and everyone left But the two of us it sounds like there's a set up going on. I don't think there was a set up Are they all mutual friends? No, they're not on mutual friends. They're all friends of Joe They know yeah, but he did not set them up for it set up There's some no they didn't know what has happened. No, no, no honey. Oh, and they all left No, that just happens. He and I have, no, no, honey. Oh, and they all left. No, that just happens. He and I have gone home together before, like not to go home, but we've shared, we've

party, we've hung out a lot. So these were all three random friends who they all do know each other, but they in random time said it to me. And then finally, I was like, oh my God, maybe, but I never thought that he was interested in me. I don't know. So just been, we've spent a few times going out. I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with the plot. I'm just saying you

You prove the plot don't play it like there wasn't a plot going on I don't think there was a plot going on. I think that my friends Secret meetings with these people and he was like the plant the seeds. No, I think that it was just really random and organic and that I finally said huh Okay, Joe so then we're driving off in this party this one night and he drove me home and we made plans to go on a date. Really? Yeah, and so we've gone on a few dates and he's swell. Okay, tell me the fine restaurant

that you'll be going to this day. Well, we are going to, we have a 9 o'clock reservation tonight. Yes. I don't remember where, but I'm very excited because it's a long day. It's been a long week. It's a reservation, so you know it's a classy day. It's been a long week Reservation so you know it's classy a classy place Exactly, I appreciate that then you don't have to wait in line

And it's gonna be good food so I've got that and then tomorrow I'm going to a golden globes party on Sunday with all my girlfriends I'm not so into the golden globes, but I'm into getting there with my girlfriends and drinking wine and watching all the people What they're wearing? So I'm gonna do that on Sunday and then oh, Saturday night. I'm into getting there with my girlfriends and drinking wine and watching all the people with their wearing. So, and we did it on Sunday and then, oh, Sarah, did I am going to a comedy festival thing? What? Sketchfest? Do you know this in city?

Oh, yeah. It's just to be funny. It's going to be lame. I'll let you know next week. What are you up to this weekend? Well, I canceled. I was going to go see the green hornet at Pixar this evening, but I canceled it to have my date with you. Uh-huh.

A weekly date. Uh, I'm gonna go and visit my friend in Modesto, California. Okay, that's far. Really, not a fun place to go. It must be a girl who's gonna do something. No, no, it's me and my buddy. Really? Like him that much?

That he does it? He does a syndicated radio show and we are going to be working on a project. Okay, so I'll be there and I'll weekend so we can hang out this weekend. Time in my life. And yeah, this will all be okay. I'm not going to go out much. I'm planning I'm trying to move into my own place.

Good. And hopefully that works out at the end of the month. So I'm been focused nearby here. Yeah, it's like five minutes from our rehearsals. Oh, honey, that's so perfect. Yeah, so I'm focusing all my energy on that. Yeah, you got to moving as a big stressor. A big time-soc. Yeah. Moving. That's why I'm never gonna move again. So a lot of things that have been going on like just notes because we haven't recorded the show. I guess it's been oh, we we can have. So I start to collect, I start to collect notes and stuff and things and I was like of all my friends

that they tell me but I was thinking that here's a few little points that I thought were very telling from that came from my social world this week. Okay. One thing is my friend went out with this friend another friend of mine. I didn't really fix him up, but they've known each other. We all know each other. And he was bombed because on their second date, she did not do the wallet pull. She didn't pull for her wallet. Gold digger.

No, she was like, second date, he's gonna pay. He asked me out and he was like, you know, I really liked your friend Emily, but she didn't even offer to pay. And my friend, he's well off, he's fine. He doesn't need to pay But he just wanted the gesture. Yeah, so I just started feeling like Kind of bad because I do the read he wanted her to do the reach. Yeah, he wouldn't have accepted her vat her visa

But I was gonna say vaza Her vat but he was like and I'm like really that's your problem like it's your second date I think that's why that she didn't offer to pay on the second No, no, no, no, you really you want to do the reach? I want her to do the wallet reach is what I'm talking about Oh, I Put your I will pay for every meal from now till the end of time, but you just wanted to reach I want her to do the reach Okay, sorry, and I've had girls like that too where they don't even acknowledge They just let you know there's the girls they don't even acknowledge they just let you know

I know there's the girls who don't even say thank you. Yeah, have you been out with those women who don't even thank you They're like of course you paid and I'm not even gonna thank you. That's me is real Go out that bitch again. No, never gonna have I know and every guy that I go out that pays I'm always like thank you so much for dinner. I really appreciate it But I think the second date he made the plan they went out like she wasn't gonna do the reach What did she what did she did she mention? What did she think you I don't think she did anything and he was like that was his only negative.

Yeah, but I just thought that was like she should down the reach. I don't think she's on the reach. You stopped doing the reach, but at least four or five days in, not on the second date. And then yeah, I guess so, maybe you do the reach four or five days in, but on the second date,

I agree he prematurely wanted her to reach. No, no, no, no, she does the reach for five dates in but on second date. I agree he prematurely wanted her to reach no No, no, no she does the reach for the five dates and then she can stop doing the I don't know. I disagree, but I think I stopped just doing the reach lately, but I'll do the reach now I'm gonna do the reach tonight because I feel bad. Yeah Hi, okay, so listen here's another thing so my friend I'm not reaching for the wallet. Sometimes after,

but you know, a lot of times I'm just not even paying attention. I'm really gross in the conversation and the bill came and then people, I do, I think I do the reach. I think I'm like, oh, he's like, don't worry about it. He's like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'm like, okay, thanks. I'll get it next time. Because there's a good, be a big glowing sign above your head, gold digger. You don't do the reach not true Just a lot of men want to pay. I know what you were saying though You're saying that you want to pay but you also would like her to do the

I guarantee men will pay 95% of the time, but you got to do the reach I'm gonna do the reach tonight. All right, so then another interesting thing that happened is one of my best friend lives in New York He's old old friend of mine and we talk about sex and relationships a lot. And he is a good friend that he used to live in LA and I used to stay with him all the time and no sex, never fooled around with him. That would be a nice question. I've never ever seen him naked nor have I fooled around with him.

But he is one of my favorite people on the planet. He's like, I live with him. Like we're super tight. And when we talk about sex, I could tell that he, and he's even told me that he doesn't like performing oral sex on I could tell that he, and he's even told me that he doesn't like performing oral sex on women because he doesn't, he always made it seem like, oh, I just don't do it, I don't do it, but it turns out the reason he doesn't do it is because he

feels like he doesn't know what he's doing down there. And he kind of in his mind was just saying to me all these years, oh, I just don't do it, I don't do it. I'm like, well, you're lame. But what happened was he said to me, the truth is Emily, I don't know what I'm doing. So he was with this woman recently. And he started to do the typical male thing where they were hooking up. He started ripping her clothes off to have sex with her. And she said, whoa, whoa, back up. Don't you want to know my body? Don't you want to touch me? And don't you

want to do other things? And don't you want to like, stop. Don't you want to know my body? Don't you want to touch me and don't you want to do other things and don't you want to like? Stop don't you want to go don't you want to like go down on me and he said you know what? I got to be honest with you. I don't know what I'm doing down there and here's like a 35 year old man like he was like I Because he was nervous. He's never had a woman say to him stop what you're doing stop the presses and go down on me So he's like honest with you. I don't know what you're doing. Stop the presses and go down on me. So she's like honest with you I don't know what I'm doing. So what she told him which I thought was great advice and he said that it was amazing She said just make out with my vagina

Like you're kissing me vulva vulva just make she actually said pussy. That was the word that she said Sorry, but I took quote. I was writing notes. She said just do it like you're kissing me. That was the word that she said. I'm not a classy lady. Sorry, but I took quote. I was writing notes. She said, just do it like you're kissing me. That's what you should do down there. And he said to me, it was so amazing that he hasn't heard those noises since Star Wars. OK.

He's like Emily. She was like, he said, make out with me. Make out with that area like your French kissing. And he just said that it's changed his entire sexual experience. Like now he's psyched to go down on women. So I wonder how many men just have this fear that they don't know what they're doing

because every woman is different. And so I thought that was a good tip. I mean, it's not gonna work for every woman, but I think it's true that a lot of men, either when they're going down on a woman, they perform it all sucks on a woman, they either do too much pressure, too much sucking, too much. But if you like make it like a kiss, it's kind of nice.

I thought that was a nice little analogy. Why are you rolling your eyes? I know. They're going cross-eyed right now. I'm saying like, I don't know. That's an amazing story and it's awesome and I hope it works out for it. But just that one moment where she goes, hey, hey, stop.

You can't pass that. It sounds like a nightmare. You're like, you would kick your ass one moment where she goes, hey, hey, stop. You can't pass that. Sounds like a nightmare. You're like, you would have kicked your ass out. You would like, stop, stop, stop. And yeah, get out of here. You would have told me. No, no, no, I don't want to tell her to leave, but I would have been extremely afraid at that point.

He was afraid. And what it went two ways. Right. And it went an awesome way right there. Right. Or it could have been. Because he's a good guy. And he was like, you know what? I'm going to face my fear. My 30, 20 years I've been hooking up with women and I don't go down

on them because I fear and it's funny because I'm his best friend. You think he could talk to me about it, but it looks like it took this woman that he really wanted to let he really like to do it. And so anyway, I just wanted to share that story because I thought it was beautiful. So yeah, so let's get into some emails. Okay. How do you feel about that? I do like that. Can I mention one thing? Sorry, sorry to throw everything off. I got to tell you a funny story before we got in the studio here For the past month and you might have emails about this because we've had some in the past about Ejaculating on the face. Yes, we've had a lot. So the guy has been messaging me on Facebook on I am.

And his name is somebody's name that I know, right? And he's been saying, hey, I've been wanting to do this with my girlfriend and blah, blah. And I've been getting some tips. And then he goes, oh, man, I finally did it. It's awesome. She loves it. And this is so cool. And then he's been messaging me about it all the time. This probably been going on. I don't I don't even know. So he listens to the show and then found you on chat on Facebook chat. And so he's been talking to me about it. All this stuff, right?

Just before we got in the studio today, I clicked on the profile because I thought it's been one of my old interns this entire time wasn't my old intern just a whatever random list. So I've been like I was wondering because I was talking to him about like other stuff and it's like he's not responding right to just some random guy where did he live. I didn't even realize it wasn't one of my old interns. Yeah, he just happened to have the same Name oh first and last that's so funny. Yeah, well that was nice to you to give advice to our listeners so they can find you on Facebook chat Facebook slash Do chat on Facebook. I rarely do I rarely do I'm not on there I use another program that updates my Facebook. So if I am not responding to you

Most likely I'm not really there, right and I'm not from that responding to you I'm reading your letter on the email on the I'm the show So that's what I try to do. Okay, so what else you just brought up something that I was gonna say But anyway, you should bring those things in if people do email you so I could read them. Okay So this is from a TN he writes us a lot So here's some of his experiences, he has some feedback because he loves the show, high-emily, love the show after 175 episodes. Wow. Just amazes me. There are many things you take as the truth that are not my experience. So there's some things that I've said that he does not agree

with. Number one, condoms do make a big difference. Making love with a condom is like reading braille with gloves. There may not be a perceptible change to women, but there's certainly a change when I do feel my penis's skin sliding in a woman's vagina. And yet in the name of disease prevention, I use condoms and thoroughly enjoy my time.

Number two, vibrators do absolutely nothing for me anywhere. I've tried hoping that I might enjoy the same pleasures with a vibrator, nada, nothing. Because we've talked in the show that some men really enjoy, like if they're using a vibrator during sex, that when it does vibrate on them, it feels good. Number three, communication is not only done through words.

Often body language is far more revealing than conversation. There are times when silence is far more intimate and chatting. It is much easier to lie with words than it is with physical action, so extremely important to pay attention to your mate to sense where they are in the world of pleasure. So there are a few things I have learned about sex in my 50 years of being a horny guy from Ed Tien. So he's saying condom is like, he doesn't love condoms what he's using them. That's what we've talked about how condoms aren't great, right? But you have to use it.

Yeah, this mandatory. It's mandatory, like mandatory. Like there was all this seven paper recently too, how there's all these outbreaks, like you got to use condoms. So anyway, and biobaders do nothing for him and communication, you should listen to your woman or your man's body language. So you know what feels good.

You don't just have to talk about it. You can. Could I ask you something? Please, have you heard of the tuxedo condom? No. Why is no one heard of the tuxedo condom? I don't know. What is it?

It's just a black condom. But it's called the tuxedo condom. It's like when you get dressed up, you're like tonight's the night for the black condom, anything. Yeah, the black condom. It's just, I don't know, it's having this conversation the other night because the Tuxedo condom was the first condom I ever used. Oh, I've never, ever heard of it.

Is it a California thing? I wasn't born in California. No, it's made by a direct. I think. Okay. Directs are trojan. One of them. No, what do you like looking down and seeing your penis with a black condom on it?

No, but I'm just saying I was just joking around about it and no one's ever heard of them. No, what do you like looking down and seeing your penis with a black condom on it? No, but I'm just saying I was just joking around about it and no one's ever heard of it. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. You never heard of it either. Sorry and I feel like I know a lot about condoms. Yeah. Okay, well speaking of condoms and sex, let's do a shout out to our advertiser Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve is awesome. You go to Adam and Eve.com because I think if you haven't tried a sex toy yet, you want to try a sex toy, there's one that you know that you want. It is the perfect time to do so, because Adam and Eve is offering 50% off most items

to sex with Emily loyal listeners. They'll even throw in three adult DVDs and a free gift plus free shipping. So you go to Adam and Eve enter coupon code Emily if checkout. It's that easy. You can get a Hitachi Magic Wand. You can get a vibrating ring,

which is great for men and women during sex. You can get a clitoral vibrator, like a pocket rocket. And if you're looking for a special gift, you can get, you know what I love about the website is they break it down into toys for couples, toys for men, toys for women. So you can explore. It's not overwhelming. You can be like, oh, I want to get something for couples. And then there'll be a massage kit. So you can find anything in Adam and Eve just use coupon code, Emily at checkout, and then there'll be a massage kit. So you can find anything in Adam and Eve, just use coupon code. Emily, check out and you get 50% off most items. So thank you to Adam and Eve.

Love them. Love them. Okay. Hey there. Happy new year. I love your show. I've learned so much listening to your shows, tips and info. You will make the perfect wife since you love sex. Anyway, I want to come in and sit on the show some time. You menace our awesome sign can. Thank you. Anyway, I want to come in and sit on the show some time. You menace our awesome sign can. Thank you, Ken. Thanks, Ken. I don't even. Yeah. Oh,

reminds me again. Sorry on Facebook. I had another woman message on my on my wall. And she said that how much you love the show. And she's another married woman that loves you hitting on me. Wow, I don't like that. You don't like that face. Thank you for listening to the show, email Emily. Exactly, email, you can email me feedback at sexwithm.com or my fan page is sex with Emily on Facebook. I'm not gonna talk to a married woman.

He doesn't do married women, I know. So she's like, hi, I'm married, what are you doing tonight? No, no, she's very nice. She was just saying how much she loved the show. Okay. She was just making fun of how she's married and she's a fan of me. Okay. Story of my life. Everyone's a fan. No. A lot of people like you. You love you. No, they like me. Oh, come on. Oh, they love me. No, they like me. Okay. Deer Emily, I just started listening to your podcast a couple of weeks ago and I'm still trying

to play catch up on previous episodes. Recently, I've dug myself into a bit of a hole regarding a friend of mine. I've been in love with this girl for well over a year now and I cannot get up the nerve to ask her out. I know going from friends to lovers is a tricky thing and I don't want to mess it up. So my question to you is, should I tell her how I feel and risk the friendship or just stay in the friend zone and Joy would already have. Your new lawyer, listener Ray R.J. from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. Wow. Wow. Canadia. Canadia. Hello, R.J. Okay, we've talked about this before. It's really hard when you're dating a woman or when you're friends with a woman and you are in the friend zone. You've picked her up with her car broke down you've helped her run errands

you've I don't know what you've done for her picked her up from God knows where I always think men are doing driving errands but the thing is is that if you Think that you're fear about presenting first of all she might feel the same ways you she might not But how much longer you're gonna be able to say friends without without actually saying hey, I think we should try it I think you try to make out with her one night. I think that you should just go for it and make the move because you will kick yourself forever if you don't try it. If you don't try to move out of the friend zone, you don't want to be in the friend zone,

you got to move out of it. Is it that ideal? Ideally, you would have just moved right into the relationship. However, maybe you didn't know that you liked her at the time, but that happens a lot. We become really good friends with someone and then eventually we see them in a different light. So I would say don't worry about ruining your friendship. If you already have a strong friendship, there's nothing wrong with you saying, hey, I was

thinking that maybe you and I could go out sometime. And I say this all the time. And if she says no, you're not going to die. You are not going to die. And in fact, it's good for you. Yeah, nothing bad is going to happen to you. It's a very to die. And in fact, it's good for you. Yeah, nothing bad's going to happen. It's a very good, it's a very good experience for you to try this out, try communicating. And because so many men, I think, issues that men have around sex comes

to their fear, their fear of not being taken seriously, their fear of rejection, their fear of, you know, so many things that you just have to conquer your fears by constantly doing it asking women out when you find them interesting when you find them attractive to do it. Go for it. And another thing, yes, dear, we have the recap because we did, uh, two podcasts ago, that asked a grown on date. I had a cancel on her and then we were supposed to meet today. Oh, that's right. You asked for it on the end during the year and I had a cancel Why? I had a cancel and then we're gonna meet up today We had a plan and then she had a cancel on me So you haven't seen her yet. I haven't seen her yet. Wow But I have to go do like some DJ thing and tonight. No, okay

Eventually, so you're gonna invite her so who have you been having sex with this week? This week, yeah, you know the usual. I don't know what that means. What do you mean? What does it mean? I want like baseball playing cards a bit of the women that you sleep with baseball playing cards Well, not baseball. I want like your date. I want like I want cards that are like baseball cards But if all the women the stats like the women that you didn't just go through them every week, like the deck of cards, all the women. I don't know why you saw baseball cards because I thought that'd be cool. They still make them with the gum in it. I love those. I don't think so, but let me tell you something.

Tell me something. If you're friends with the woman and you're dating another woman or you, I don't know, I want to tell them about it. It's not a good idea, because that woman is just gonna, your friend is just gonna analyze them and not say anything good about them. Wait, back up. This is the woman that you're interested in.

You don't know if you should tell her that you're dating other people. No, not that. Oh, okay, then what? No, no, scratch that. Okay. I'm just saying, if you're friends with a woman, friends with a woman, yeah. Okay, like, then what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, looks like a, she looks depressed, she looks like she has body issues, no just kidding, I wouldn't do that.

But why? That's gonna benefit me in any way. To show me, it would benefit you. Or, right, okay, maybe not. Not until I started like really getting serious and bringing them around. Yeah, probably won't help, but it would just be for my pure entertainment value.

Yeah, I'm good at that. And I think that you should entertain me sometimes and I don't think that'd be a bad thing, but you don't have to. Maybe we'll stay a little late and go on your Facebook page Okay, okay, this is from Jason remember Jason writes his lot from Baltimore He's still caught up on the hamburger thing Hey, I'm catching up on podcast a little behind. I'm thinking you could combine the Wendy thing with the ham and the hamburger thing if you dress up like Wendy And use the stockings with the wig like you said you did when you were kid. I mean

burglar we're gonna have to describe it. I mean burglars and bankruptpers put stockings on their heads right so you could kill two fetishes with one stone. Me if I had to pick and we're keeping it with the fast food thing I tell men is to ask you to dress up like Sonic girl Do you have sonics out here out there? Their employers still deliver the orders to cars on roller skates That could be a combo of a Sonic girl and roller girl from boogie good boogie nights LOL well, hope all is well Jason from Baltimore Okay, so recap is that for some

God knows reason men is an eye a few weeks ago, we're in the studio talking about what we would and would not do in the st. Let me bring it down. I'll bring it down. I'll bring it down a little bit. Bring it down, bring it down. I said, what about if you found the dream guy, he's perfect in every single way,

everything that you've ever wanted, and you always bring up on like, oh, you gotta play out your fantasies, and you gotta do this, you gotta dress up, you know you got to do all that. And I go, what about if this guy, when he was a kid, he really liked McDonald's. He was the biggest fan of McDonald's. That brought him so much joy for some reason, for some reason his fetish, his fantasy would be for you to dress up as the hamburger. And you said, even though he's my dream guy, everything I ever wanted, I wouldn't do it.

I would laugh my house off and be sweaty hot as the hamburger off or two. I'd go, okay, okay, fine. You won't be the hamburger. And I go, that's kind of messed up of you. How about you be Wendy from Wendy's? And you said, no, because you had a wig issue when you were a child.

Right. I had a wig issue where I was read the end and the I show and the wig fell off. Yes. And now we want to be Sonny girl, but I like, yeah, that's, so that's the story. And this has come up. People love this. But listen, here's the thing. I love the idea of roller girl from Boogie Knights. I was actually her on Halloween one. So I would totally be roller girl. I've got like tight shorts and cute things, but that's get enough side track here. Yeah, that's I mean that's that's sexy. We're talking about things that are not sexy Am burglar with his crazy eyes and his like is good goggles and

He's a burglar. Okay. Okay. Okay. what about the burger king guy? There isn't even a burger king guy. Yeah, there is He's not the king. He's a king. Yeah, you just like mask. He has He has a beard. He has a way too much about fast food. He has a crown You can buy it for Halloween How about I buy masks the the King King mask. You should Google it. I'll go on the Google for it. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what fast food I like, like I would be like the big boy. Remember the big

book? Do they have big boy? Does everyone know what big boy is? It's a chain in the Midwest. He wears a checkered suit. He's kind of fat. Okay. I'd be dairy queen. Do they have something? I love dairy queen. Do they have an icon? No. Okay. Okay. What about Jack from Jacketabox? You got to just wear the head. You know, just wear the head. You're completely naked, but you wear the Jacketabox head the round head with the pointy yellow yellow hat dream guy just wants you to wear the jacket while you're having sex dream guy is psychotic no it's just something you know I know and I would be open to discussing first why he's obsessed with Jack in the box and does he want me to jump out of the box or just

wear the hat like we'd have to work it down you're saying he doesn't even want me to jump out of the box see to me that's a bummer jumping out of the box would be the fun part. No, you don't actually jump out of box. The whole thing is that you wear the red white head and you're completely naked and you're having sex. What's wrong with it? It's so I don't so don't feel hot or sexy in a big white. It's not about you. It's about fulfilling his fantasy. Okay. What would he do for me? I'd have to have to get him back And I'm dream guy he does everything that you want Honey my dream guy does not want me to dress up with a hamburger or nor does he want me to dress up like Jack in the box

I'm just saying what about if you encounter this? What are you gonna do? I think we've got time for saying never answering I'm answering I'm answering I'm just saying I'll be open to it, but you're really not. I would be open to it. If he had a really good reason for why, like, oh my god, my whole life, like I used to go to Jack in the box, and master weight in the parking lot. I don't know.

I don't know what he did with them. We rubbed the french fries over his nipples. That would hurt. Oh my god. OK, I think that we could get into some sex in the news. Okay. I mean, we have tons of emails too. How about we do one more email in the news section?

That's a great idea. Okay. I will do one more because there are so many. And thanks everyone for emailing me feedback at sexwithemily.com. Okay. Hey, Emily and Matt, it's just one to let you know that I'm 16 and I've been with my girlfriend for one and a half years and I will be marrying her. I love the show and we have great sex life.

She's amazing lover and I hope that I am as well. That wasn't really a question. That was just a thank you. Oh, thank you. For William and Victoria, Australia. We have so many listeners in Australia. Love Australia. Never been there but it looked cool on TV.

Totally. Okay, so that might be just a shout out. Just a shout out. We love that. We love when you love us. Okay, I think I'm just gonna, I get too many, can I be honest, I have so many emails that I'm gonna do another email show after. But right now, let's move into some sex in the news. Go for it. Because there's lots of stuff. There's so much sex in the news. Okay, ready? It's either babies are cheating. I need something new. What do you mean babies are cheating? It's either somebody's having a baby or somebody's cheating on somebody. There's nothing like scandalous. Okay. What do you got? I'll bring it for you. Okay.

Okay, this is scandalous. All right. David Beckham denies under oath having sex with the prostitute. Did you hear about this? David Beckham swears under oath he never had sex the prostitute claims she had a threesome with him in 2007 she claims that in August 2007 he committed adultery and other prostitute by playing for by paying for sex the two of them then by the month later he says she did it again blah blah blah he denied under oath he did a test a what's it called light detector? Yeah, yeah, yeah, where's under oh, or swears under oath he didn't do light That was another story swears under oath that he didn't affect the prostitute. I didn't even hear that he had sex the prostitute Why is he swattering under oath? I mean, I don't know why maybe because this woman's really coming after me

He's got a $25 million lawsuit against this woman and so he's for under her. He's suing her. She probably didn't or maybe he did. He's a really good prostitute if she has $25 million. I know well it'll be like I don't know what I'll be from but do you believe like all these scott who knows if he did like a lot of me think of like oh he's on the road all the time like maybe

he did ever through some but if he's going under oath I don't know you're not gonna lie about that. Okay so there's a scandal. They have but I don't know. You're not going to lie about that. Okay, so they're just getting under oath. They have, but I don't know. Would you go that far? Would you set a lot of court? What would you do? I don't know, but I think all these, I mean, I have so many friends who are like obsessed with dating athletes and they just want to me. I think the athletes just like get around a lot of them and they like I have friends who are obsessed with them. They came Kardashian will only like date. I know. Are you bummed about that? Would you want a date or?

I've met her. She's very sweet and nice. Was she hot? She's extremely hot. All of a sudden. But she's almost like too hot. She's almost like tries so hard to be hot. She's like, you always got her breasts everywhere.

Like lots of makeup. And I'm not saying she's not attractive, but it just seems like she's not just a robot. Oh no. But she admits that too. I know. You're right. I guess no one does really suffer me. I'm here with my hair wet and I just roll out of that.

But um, yeah, but they're they're all, uh, I wish I would get them in cause they're hilarious. They're very open about sex and I know. Let's get them in. Let's get them in the show. We're gonna be doing it five days a week soon. Mm hmm. I can probably make a call.

We can swing that, producer Menace. Okay, so do you remember I talked about this a few months ago that there was gonna be a sex toy drive through opening in Alabama? Well, it's finally opened. And it's like taking off. Business, business, business is brisk, with cars lining up three deep

and a new drive in through Alabama that fought the law to sell adult items including Vibators, lubricants, lingerie and sex toys to customers who seek privacy and convenience. Sex toys can be sold if they're needed, so they kind of found this loophole that it's a legal to sell sex toys in Alabama. So their loophole was that if a toy toys needed for medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial, law enforcement purpose, then you can buy one. So people have to fill out a form checking that they have issues or that they have one of these conditions and they can buy a toy. So it's crazy. There's like cars lined up and they're selling tons of toys. And they only drive through place like it in America that they know of.

Wow. I can just imagine, I couldn't just imagine, I hope that it's like a fast food drive in. Like you have your menu, where you look at it, you're like, oh, I was like a number 11 today. Exactly, exactly. You know, and then you go up to the window and you just pay.

You just pay. You have to go inside. There's no sketchiness. There's no one trying to sell you a huge vibrator that you don't want. So that's interesting. Good go Alabama. I'm surprised there's not one here.

A sex toy drive there, but we have like the actual buildings here and stuff. Okay, so then we have great sex is all about intimacy and connection. Believe it or not, here we go again. Trying to sell this. Put away your vacuum pump and edible underwear. A study released argues these are simply simply kinks in the road to great sex. So the study suggests that sexual fulfillment has far less to do with technique and perfect bodies, as people often think, and more to do with such factors as presence, connection,

and erotic intimacy. Play the harp. Unfortunately, popular culture tells people that great sex is about varying routines, trying new positions, buying new sex toys, which is what I say all the time. All you have to do is stand in line and then check out counter and see magazines

that are blaring these headlines. But there's plenty of evidence that most you will believe that the secret to sexual fulfillment is technical. But however, what the study found is that there are a components that significantly contribute to sex, and that is being present, connecting, looking into the eyes, in sync, intimate, and uninhibited, and it turns out that intense physical sensation orgasm

were not a part of it. So orgasms, Royce-speaking orgasms are really good. Got to have an orgasm, got to have an orgasm. Didn't even come up in the study. People just want to feel connected. Really? And loved and they wipe in the eyes. What if the boy band and sink have to do with this? What do you mean? I'm just kidding.

It's a joke. Oh, because I said it'd be insane. Yeah. Oh my God. Sure, you know, JT has given many women orgasms. Yeah. But people say, you don't even know who I'm talking about. No, what do you think I want? JT, Justin Timberlake. Oh, Justin Timberlake has given many women orgasms. Yeah, but people know what I'm talking about. No, what do you think about? JT Justin Timberlake. Oh Justin Timberlake has given me and that same orgasms are important

I'm just saying yeah that they did this five-year study and the factors were about intimacy and connection and not about With doing some crazy sex tricks. Although crazy sex tricks probably don't hurt. So that's what we got for sex in the news I like that. You like it honey? Mm-hmm. Okay. So we've got a little bit of sex tips here. Here's some, just some random hot new sex facts that came out in 2010. I'm just gonna share them for you. There's just like a list of them. Okay. Do you say 2010 or 2010? Did you slip right there? 2010. Can you say 2010? Yeah. I like saying 2010, but everyone's like, Oh, you got to say 2010. I don't know what the correct way to say it. I say, Oh, 11. Is that wrong? Yeah. That is very wrong. Okay, so no, this is in 2010. These are like hot new sex

backs that came out this year. I'm just going to read some because I thought some of them are very interesting. Okay, women place a higher importance on looks than men do when looking for a casual sex partner. What do you think about that? Women are looking at looks more than men. Oh, that's not a lot. I mean, that's not. I don't know. I always think that men look at looks more than women for women with our brain being our largest sex organ. How many times have we gone over this where it doesn't matter to like a woman will get laid no matter what. Okay.

Well, I don't understand why they're so hung up on looks like, Hey, if you're a woman, you want to go get laid, then go go outside. However, here's part two to this though, but that may not be that smart to go after looks. One poll found that computer nerds make the best lovers with 82% of IT geeks claiming they put their partners pleasures above their own. So maybe you should date a geek. Forget not that geeks can't be attractive, but if you're just going after looks in the superficial, you might want to find a guy who's home at night like logging, you know, whatever makes you know, he's making websites because you

know what he can be a billionaire one day. Man, he's gonna sling some, some disnack for you. And some mean. See, that's why I don't get like all these chicks, all these Hoochie mamas that are in the club with all these sleazy guys with gold chains on and ponytails. Like, I don't know why you're there. You need to go to the coffee shop where the guy is sitting in front of the computer.

I have to say the geeks. I love them. I'm just saying the young generation right now. Young generation, go guy is sitting in front of the geeks. I love them I'm just saying the young generation young generation go ahead with the geeks. They love they love dating losers I know you know how many time how many beautiful women that I know that They lose quality guys that just date Guys who feel like they've got game where they say the right things or they've got all the right trappings of what seems like a good guy but really they're not. I agree. And I bring those, I tell those women like they bitch and moan and how they can't find a good guy and all this stuff but they always go to the wrong places. And I tell them like come with me to dot com party. You're gonna find a cool guy that has his

ish together. Exactly. You're right. And half of them are open to going. We did a show once on geeks white geeks make better lovers. I've heard this before. Okay, here's another little hot new sex facts. Get it on the night before you need to bring some great ideas into the office. According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, sex triggers brain chemicals that can improve creativity at work. So if you've got a big deadline at work

and you've got to come up with some creative new idea, just have sex the night before because it's going to stimulate those brain chemicals. Really? Yeah. You're like, at work, you got to come up with some creative new idea just have sex night before because it's gonna stimulate those brain chemicals. Really? Yeah. You're like it at work and you're like oh my god I got to come up with this great new presentation for tomorrow just have sex. I don't know what it says. I know it tells it's disgusting. Don't wait to feel turned on before you make a move. Most women experience arousal after the fun has already begun. This is so true that women a lot of times,

men are easy, more readily available for sex than women. They can get turned on a lot quicker. A lot of women get turned on in the act of getting turned on. So the foreplay, the kissing. So you just don't have to wait to feel like it. So basically, the saying of women wanna make the first move and you're not really feeling it, just start going through the motions and you'll get into it.

Not always, but a lot of times. It's true. I've done that. I've been like, oh no, it wants to have sex with me. And then I get into it. Yeah. How about that? I like it.

Oh, speaking of hot geeks real quick, for the guys, the one check out a hot geek girl, check out the cover of Maxim Magazine right now. Who's on it? Her name is Olivia Munn. Oh yeah, she's a geek. Oh yeah, she's on all the, she hosts all the geek shows like on G4. Oh really? All the stuff and she goes to all the Comic Con stuff.

She's like really super geeky. Didn't know that. Yeah, super hot. Super hot. I didn't know she was a geek too. Yeah. Oh my god, I hate her. Just kidding. I'm a geek. Google Oh my god. I hate her just kidding. I'm a geek. I'm a

podcaster. I know this towards the end of the podcast. I want to know if you listen all the way to the end of the podcast. Yeah. Do you miss all the way on? Email me if you checked out. I live you on. Okay. Email them. Where do they find you? I know email. Feedback it. Sex them. We got to reply. Men doesn't reply. Okay, single women are more attracted to men who are taken than to those who are available. I don't think this is a 2010 fact, but whatever. Okay, watch a short porn scene before hopping in bed with your guy.

Research has found that 58% of men and women who regularly use porn felt more comfortable with their sexuality intending to their partner's sexual needs. So instead of men watching porn alone, bring it into a relationship. There's theme. If you go to Adam and Eve, for example, they've got female-friendly porn, you can find porn for couples, porn that's more appropriate because many women like different kinds of porn.

So, just saying, if you want to spice things up, watch it for 10 minutes of my increased your sex life. All right. All right, how about that? I like it. Okay. Then we've got athletic women say their sexual performance is better. All right. All right. How about that? I like it. Okay. Then we've got athletic women say their sexual performance is better.

And maybe that's because female pro athletes have both clitoral blood flow and higher sexual satisfaction than women who don't exercise. So you don't have to be a pro athlete just exercise. And I've read this across the books that people who exercise more are healthier and obviously and they have better sex life because their blood is flowing to the right parts, they're healthy, they're in good shape. I finally, I went to the gym all this week. You did?

Yeah. Every day? Yeah. Good for you. And if I feel good, it does feel good. I went today. The gym's awesome. And I can't live without the gym.

I, uh, I'm starting in, uh, slow, you know, 25 minutes a day. Perfect. And then I'll move it up. I am starting in slow, you know, 25 minutes a day. Perfect. I'll move it up. That's how you start, you know, don't be yourself up. It's good. 25 minutes is awesome. Okay, almost 53% of women have used a vibrator. This was a big sat that came out last year. It was in New York Times. If you haven't tried it, start with a small one that won't overwhelm you. Like a little tiny pocket rocket, you know, is my favorite. Like, Snooki. Snooki has a thing called the Cermet.

And it's the size of a bright lipstick. Really? Yeah. I don't know it. It's kind of gross to me out thinking that heard using it, but it was. I only want to hear about Snooki's sex life. And I know Snooki, as believe it or not.

Snooki. Snooki. Snooki? Yeah. Snooki? No, Snooki. OK, almost 50k. A study of college students found that over two year period, both men and women had twice as many hookups as first dates.

So they're not dating college. But that has that changed. Did you date in college? OK, those are just a little bit of facts I wanted to give you. Oh, having sex once a week can improve your immune function by 30%. So you'll be healthier if you have sex once a week. I like that.

OK, so there's just little facts I wanted to give to you. So yeah, God, great show. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily, anything else you need to add, Manus before we take off here for the weekend. I haven't checked my blog. I need to bring the paid views up. I haven't like. Okay, so what's your blog?

It's go to whitemenace.com. Okay, I'll go there too. And I'm redoing my website, so I'm going to add it prominently on mine. Sweet. I know I can talk with that for all, but it's really happening. OK, everyone, thanks so much for listening to the show. And remember to check out all of our other shows.

You've got 100 and almost 200 shows. So they're all there for you. The Taken, thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback in saxophonic family. Talk. MUSIC

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Remember, your biggest sex organ is your brain, so learn something new to do that. Click on the Suclair Institute ad on my website and check out their adult sex education DVDs, sex toys, adult DVDs, and other sexy projects. You'll save 50% on any Suclair item when you put an Emily 50 at checkout. You'll save 50% on any single item when you put in Emily 50HK.