Sex With Emily - SWE: Her Orgasm

Episode Date: February 15, 2014

Most men: "Oh my god I'm the greatest lover in the world!" Most women: "I faked another orgasm." Men are clueless about female pleasure and women are not communicating their dissatisfaction. Tantric Master Lawrence Lanoff and Emily break down all the myths about female pleasure. It's a myth that women do not want sex. Women are just fed up of having bed sex and are starving for touch. Lawrence teaches men how to stop grabbing and start touching, and how to turn your touch into her mind-blowing orgasm. Special offer for Sex with Emily listeners only: click here for a Free Report that reveals 10 Ways to Touch a Woman and Drive Her Wild With Desire. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of misogyny candles? Okay, so get this. I always like candles when I'm enjoying glass of wine with friends and recently they were over and I lit three candles from my new line called emilyntowning. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See, these candles are really aroma therapy massage oils that when warm like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself.

You can use during foreplay, and you know me, I'm a firm believer in foreplay. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and fuzher. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at Emily and Tony.com. And you're welcome. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our secret institutions Betrubized they call them in a bygone way Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kinda cute The girls got a hair stand, oh my The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrinks Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god. I'm on fear of sex. Oh, god. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you have to enter your email address

because we're going to be giving away lots of cool free things lately in the coming future. So check it out. Today's show is brought to you by Good Vibrations. You know how much I love Good Vibes. And let me just tell you, they're celebrating in their 36 year of pleasure. They've been in business for 36 years. I actually bought my first sex toy there. I love good vibes. And they've got an amazing offer for all my listeners. Just use coupon code GVMLE20 for

20% off all orders of $100 or more. You can also go to my site, sexwithmlle.com. Click on the banner. You'll see all my favorite toys because I've got a lot of them. And you know, you can check out like just a million toys they have for men and for women. And I think you'll have a good time there. So go to goodvibes.com. They make me happy and I know they will make you very happy and give you much pleasure. Okay. Today's show, very excited for my guest.

He is the president of pleasure. Can you imagine having that title and good reason for it? He's a tantric master. He's a creator of tantra x university. We're gonna talk a lot about Sex today like I know some of my shows begin to relationship We might touch on that a little bit of course you can't have one without you You can have one without the other is the truth But he knows he's a master He made in his life work to understand the female orgasm and how you can provide endless pleasure

for women, which let me just be honest, a lot of you aren't doing it. I've had a lot of really good sex in my life, but mostly not so good. I've been with men who don't know what they're doing, who don't take time to understand the female organs at all, what women want, what the desire, and we're going to break down some of the myths today around female pleasure and orgasms. And this by like, he's a master. I was blown away by everything that I've seen. You can check him out at tontradashx.com slash Emily, and we're going to have some special

offers for you so you guys can all learn everything that he knows and rock your partner's world tonight. And if you don't have a partner, the next woman that you're with, you're gonna blow a mind. If you just listen to us for the next hour, I promise you that. So I am talking to Lawrence. Hi, Lawrence.

Hello, Emily. I'm so good to see you. Yeah, you too. Get to be here. It's so fun. It's really, really, really excited. I know, I'm really excited too because I was watching all your stuff

from reading all your stuff, actually getting turned on and getting angry. Yeah. I'm kind of pissed. Okay. Because I feel like the, and you're going to talk a little more about this, but, but what you've done is really like study women and so many guys are just like, I don't get it. Does she have an orgasm? I don't know. I don't care. I got off. I pounded her. I did. And, and men don't ever, many men don't care, I got off, I pounded or I did. And men don't ever, many men, don't take the time to understand women. And I feel like you've got this vast of knowledge that will help so many men. And I just, I'm so honored to be speaking with you today. Thank you. Thank you. It's really good to be here.

And I'm going to jump right in by telling you, there is a reason why. Okay. So guys, here's the, this is, we will go circle back around. Yeah. So reason why guys oftentimes don't know and don't care is because they don't know what they don't know. Exactly. That's the biggest problem. Right.

They don't know what they don't know. So they're walking around. You know, girls are faking orgasms and they're thinking like, Oh my God, I'm the greatest lover in the world. And they don't realize because we've been playing this game, men and and women where women are not communicating how dissatisfied they are. Exactly. So this becomes an interesting thing. Anyway.

No, I think you're right. I think that women do not, they do fake it. First of all, don't ever fake it. Women might, my female listeners, I say, do not ever figure orgasms because you are misleading men down the wrong path. Because so many men I talk to, it was like every woman I've ever been with have had orgasm every time I'm like oh my god They're lying! They are so lying to you! So why do you think it is that men why don't they know this stuff? Like why don't they have people to start afraid talking about sex? I mean that's what I think I always say Communication is a lubrication and you're gonna have better sex if you talk to your partner about it

But no one wants to talk about it yet. If they do talk about it and they do learn these skills that you teach, they're going to have the most mind-blowing sex of their life, which is what life is all about. Yes. Absolutely. So here's, this is my take on it. Okay. Basically, you have the sexual cycle, the way I see it, in America.

We have little boys who, where do they learn about sex? They over here some stuff, right? Or what else? They talk to other little boys and they're like, oh yeah blah, blah, blah. She likes the, the dirty Sanchez, you know, I mean, these crazy, right? These crazy things that are just like don't happen in reality. And the third way is they look at porn. Right. So they go online, they look at porn and they're like, what, what, what guys do not realize is that porn is shot for the viewers pleasure. Not anything to do with the performers, right? So if you were actually to speak to a porn star and she was to tell you the truth, she'd be like, uh, yeah. That's a good fight.

What's a good fight? Right, because it's not about that. That's why like, you know, it's weird. Like I've heard women complain. Did they feel like they're like a frickin' wishbone or a chicken, you know, because she's like, I was laying there in my thing and I was only old my leg up and turned me over and started

fucking me like a horse. And so it's like these things that happen because guys are getting trained by porn. So they, you know, and the women are like, oh, oh, oh, doing the porn voice, the porn music. Women are learning from porn too. That's her size. They're like, I sat with her. She sounded like a porn star. Like she didn't even know what she was doing, but they knew her noises. Right. And porn, I mean, nothing not the best porn porn. I love porn. Some love the person yeah but I say I say the exact same that you say like do not learn how do if you want to actually please a woman you're not gonna learn anything from

porn if you want to get off and you want to and you want to masturbate and you want to have a good time watch all the porn you want but if you actually want to learn skills to make a woman feel good in the bedroom you should listen to Lawrence absolutely and not watch porn okay Okay, right. So that's how people are learning. And there's really no, so why don't they, so they don't ask, because they don't have to their lovers about it typically, or women lie about it, or women don't, and I'm not blaming men, so many women do not spend the time getting to know their own body.

That's the key. They don't know their own bodies. They don't know how to have an orgasm to be like, maybe they don't know. I don't know. And I'm like, how do you not know? You got to spend the time. They don't know their own bodies. They don't know how to have an orgasm. They don't know. Maybe they don't know. I don't know. And I'm like, how do you not know? You got to spend the time. Women need to spend the time figuring out their own bodies as well so they can share that

with our partners. So it's a man and women. None of us are doing, some are doing the right things, but not everyone. So we're going to try to teach you that today. Definitely. And that's really the thing. So number one thing, if you're a woman listening to this, number one, communication. I love what you say.

Communication is the lubrication. Right? Communicate. It's the strangest thing. I will tell you a quick story. Please, I love stories. I love your stories. Well, thank you. So I'm in this, I'm hanging out with a bunch of swingers. Of course, why not? And, and we're thinking about having like, you know, we're sort of like, you can tell that the vibe is there where something really exciting could happen. But what I really wanted to do, which I always do is just have open communication, you know, what are your safer sex needs? What are your, you know, when was the last time you got tested? What kinds of things are you concerned about? What are your boundaries? What are you interested in? What would be the most amazing thing that could blow

your mind, right? And these are the discussions like my girlfriend and I we openly have these discussions We love to have these discussions and if somebody is coming into our play space We will be having these discussions, right? But the swingers were like What's like what this was like the weirdest it was as if I had dropped down from another planet Right, and as if if we were like calling too much attention because their lubrication is not communication, it's wine. So that's, so I was like, okay, wait a minute.

So drugs and alcohol is what you use instead of communicating. Now for me, that has never worked for me in my life. I have always needed good, awesome communication. I need to know that we're on the same page. I don't wanna be leading somebody down a path. They're thinking one thing and I'm on another thing. No, I wanna talk about this stuff.

Now guess what? If you're coming from which most guys are, if you're coming from like there's not enough in the world, like there's not enough women, there's not enough sex, there's not enough of, you know, then you're just scared. You don't wanna say anything that could make her go like, I'm not interested. But if you realize you shift from scarcity and you realize which I know and now you

listeners know, uh, women love sex, but it has to be good sex. That's the thing. I know this, which means that there are women who you know right now in your circle, women who you look at every day, who you may be totally into, but they are also into sex. So what I'm saying to you is there are women everywhere who are, there's an abundance of both men and women who are into sex and good sex. That's the framework that has to change. That's what begins to establish communication because if I say something to you and you go, that's not my thing I'm not interested, who cares? Because there will be

somebody else who is. Right. Like why be with someone that you're mismatched with? I always say like mismatch libidos. There's I mean, I get hundreds of emails from listeners and you can always email me your questions to feedback at sexwithemily.com. But I have so many listeners who are like, why I want sex about time. My girlfriend doesn't or vice versa. A woman who wants sex all the time.

Her boyfriend doesn't. And I think it is a big myth out there. And you mentioned this on your website that women don't want sex as much. Women don't like sex as much. And it's kind of a, you know, the women, they can take it or leave it. And I think that women don't want sex as much. Women don't like sex as much. It's kind of a, you know, the women they can take you to leave it. And I think that women just, they want good sex. And I can't tell you I've talked this endlessly with my girlfriends. I hear from my listeners that they're just not having the sex that they deserve, that they want, that man

are kind of fumbling around down there and they don't really know what to do. And they don't even know if she had an orgasm. I got the worst thing. Did you come or not? Do you have an orgasm? Like you just want, you want to be on the level with someone where you know. Like you know, like she didn't fake it. There's no way. Like you know the stuff. And people are just not. And that's why women are not, I mean so many of my friends are like nine or ten experiences

with a guy and not so great. And I think that's the state of sex in the world. And that's why we're trying to change it. Because we want men to learn some of the key things that you teach and that I've been teaching on the show. So on your, so let's talk about, let's talk about your background and how you got into this because I know you've studied with the sex masters around the world. Like you really like had an experience that like rocked your, you hit a rock button sexually, right?

Yes, I do. You share a little bit about that. Yeah, I mean, it's, I know you don't love to talk about it, but. Yeah, yeah, it's, I mean, you know I know you don't love talk about it, but yeah, it's I mean You know There've been so many times but one of the experiences was finding the woman of my dreams in my bed and just Like just failing freezing and failing and that kind of thing is just so intense It's so rock bottom. It's so like wow, you know the very thing that I wanted is now here and I don't know if I can get nervous to get your head.

Absolutely. Can't get can't get hard right. All those things that happen to men yeah offense. So that was your turning point. That was my turning point because this was in college and this was kind of like the woman of my dreams in college. Somebody who I had fantasized about, you know. And so when that happened, I was kind of like, okay, I need really to get this down. It was that important to me. I mean, it really was because you realize that your life is going to do one of two things. If you don't get this down, you're lonely, you're masturbating yourself to sleep, you know, you're feeling alone, you maybe alone the rest of your life. Honestly, because at some point women are going to be like we do not need this bullshit anymore

And so the guys who don't learn are going to spend more and more and more time alone Right or with porn and the guys who do learn the guys who like go you know what? Wait a minute. It's time we get our heads out of the sand See we've been we've been in a culture We're female sexuality has been feared. It's been feared for easily a couple thousand years Certainly with the advent of Christianity specifically It's been feared and so it's been marginalized and feared and shunted aside and so we're pressed for sure exactly So guys have no experience. We've just kind of been going along with this thing don't talk about it

Don't think about it. Don't think about it You know blah blah blah kind of play these games, but guess what? Times are changing right because of the internet because of porn because of women talking to each other because of global Communication women are like I don't need this bullshit. Right. I'd rather be on with my vibrator than have beds Back to this guy that like you know doesn't ever pay attention to my what turns me on and what makes me feel good. I can't tell you how many men I always say there's many love with the vagina and many don't love the vagina and if you're one of those guys That's fine

You might be with the woman who doesn't really care and you guys have good and there's many like it Like this is what I always say like they like it. They want to have sex with you But they don't want to like get in there. They don't want to perform oral sex on you They don't want to get to know it like I do it. They like oh my god. You got waxed. You got this. You got that. They know it. They're like in there And then there's guys are like just want to pound away at you, right? Yeah, there's two guns a minute and I don't know. Can you do you think that man can transform like in your work And what you teach that men can learn to love the vagina? They don't love it right now. Yes. Yes. Here's the thing There's so many so much work that has to be done because there's the psychological component.

A guy who says, you know, I don't like the vagina or has some sort of weird thing. They met a lot of men don't like perform or all sex on women. And I think it's because they don't know what to do. Well, they don't know what to do. But let me tell you what else. Yeah, tell me what else you do.

No, this is what's really going on, okay? Culturally, we have a thing that is like, fear the vagina. We have so much stress around the vagina Right because they're all different exactly right and so the reality is I know very few guys In fact, I don't think I've ever met a guy who doesn't love the vagina But he loves it when he's looking at pussy on In porn and doesn't have to be seen

Loving the vagina right and so they so there's a difference between like looking at, you know, being open and going, man, I'm turned on, please spread your legs. I want to look at your pussy. I want to like get turned on and I want you to see me getting turned on. But because we have this equation that sex is dirty, which comes from all this stuff we've been talking about, you know, it's like dirty, it's bad, it's wrong. So there is a actual cognitive psychological block that comes in and goes, oh, I can't like that. I can't be seen. And so that's what that's the deeper work that will have to be done. It has to be done. And I do

address that with people. Great. Yeah. Do you coach people? I do. Okay. Great. Okay. You've coaching. Like you talked to men. Please coach every man in the world. I can send you all my ex-boyfriends Because they need coaching especially, but there's like I guess there's a cognitive blocker They are they're confused because their last girlfriend went can't work as in this way and they're new girlfriend They can't figure it out or partner lover or whatever and so I just think it's it's confusing So it is but guess what what you and I have this amazing other tool That is not just a pussy and not just a cock. It's an amazing thing and for some of your listeners this is going to be shocking.

I know it is called your mouth. You have the ability to communicate. You can speak. You can ask questions. You can be like, how would you like to be touched? Would you like softer or lighter? Do you like it when I do this or even better? This is how I love to be touched.

Right. Communication is the tool that we have. We have to get out of the dark ages. You got to turn the lights on in the bedroom of your mind and say, no, we are going to speak openly and directly. None of this puts a cock of mind reading. Right. This is ridiculous.

You can't mind read, yeah, the vagina or the penis. You really can't. I don't I don't think. I mean, I think that but so many couples have a hard time. I don't know what that block is either because you think that sex was one of the most amazing things in the world and brings you and this plot can bring you and this pleasure that you'd want to talk about it all day long. And you might think about it. You know, men think about it. They say all day long, but they don't ever, they don't know how to talk about it. So like, how would you suggest couples, like, spiritually down to the nitty-gritty, like, you're with someone for the first time.

Do you think that's too soon to talk about what you want? What? No, that's the time to talk about what you want. Right. I agree. Right, because you want to, you want to weed, I look at it as a weeding out process, right? If you as a woman are listening to this and you talk to a guy and you say, Hey, you know, I really would love it. It works for me. If you go down

on me first and I love to be, you know, I love to be licked or touched or fingered in this way. Right. I love hand sex. So why do you warm me up with a little bit of like, you know, labial massage or, you know, or or just I like so many women do need that. I mean, women, that's, that's why biggest thing is like foreplay. Like, I feel like if I could go on a mission across America and drive a bus to come back and get my Emily sex drive across America, which is what I'm planning on doing at some point. I just want to say like foreplay is so important because women, we don't get turned on, we don't get warmed up like like, like, Mendy, you guys are ready to go and you're like, oh, I'm just gonna stick it,

I mean, I can't tell you, I mean, I have personal experience. So I'm ready, she must be ready. We are not ready, we are not even close to being ready yet. So you need to guys must take the time warming women up and for play and they don't and women don't want to ask for it because they want to be like, you know, a lot of people are taught, we're taught, I think,

from young age and I was taught that it's about pleasing men. It's about me looking good for them or them having it or our mind will come later or he'll figure it out. Or I used to believe that it was a men's job to figure it out and I didn't have to communicate that. So, so foreplay is so important. And so you are like the master of the vagina. I feel like you know all the ins and outs,

no pun intended. You have special tricks and you talk about the ins and outs. No pun intended. You have special tricks And you talk about fingering and an armature of friend of ours It's mentioned something that you know a lot about fingering women. I do okay Doesn't matter because I feel like fingering when I feel like it's hot and guys don't do that anymore I feel like it's like when you're younger. I okay, so for years I've been doing sex with them leave about nine years now and we had this whole thing called a handjob debate Menace who's my co-host in San Francisco. I was like I think we should bring back the hand jobs

Hand jobs are awesome like he doesn't have to be instead of the blowjob But a hand job and I think it's the same thing for women like why not like get in there like touch or juice But like figure it out. Oh, yes Yeah, guys are to that. Well, you have to the most beautiful thing is first of all your finger in terms of size wise is Just like it's it's part you're not gonna have have any issues immediately. Like, you can just gently, gently, like, I love to put my hand just kind of right on, just kind of on the opening of the pussy, but on the outside, right? So, like, my, I'll cut my whole hand and I'll just let my middle finger just gently, gently caress, like a little tongue, like a little, right, that's just, just, just, just,

it's slow, right. Slow, man. Slow, you know, and maybe I'll be playing with her breasts or I'll be doing something, but my hand is just keeping this like gentle pulsation. You feel the tissues start to expand, you feel the wetness start to appear, right? These things take time.

By the way, I don't even use the word for play because it just has so much negative connotation. It's like for guys, it's like for play. Oh, right. We should change it. You're right. When you say such a bullshit word, it's like you got to think I like it's just it's just right. It's just play. Let's play and and you know, and let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. Right. Because warming up, they're really I don't feel like, here's the problem with four play the way we talk about it. It's like, okay, we're going to four play to get to the goal of me sticking my penis inside of you,

that's the problem. It's so goal oriented. Exactly, it's so right, it's so, this is the appetizer when really it can all be dessert, delicious. And in fact, Dr. Ruth, who I've worked with and who as a mentor of mine, Dr. Ruth used to say to me, rodent, you should say, for play is when the sex ends,

this is the beginning of for play of the next time. So this like cuddle period, you know, like taking times a cuddle and, you know, feel each other and connect, she really saw that as a continuum. So you know, like taking times a cuddle and, you know, feel each other and connect. She really saw that as a continuum. So you kind of roll, that would be the beginning of the next time you got together. Right. Keep it going all the time.

Keep the sexual energy flowing all the time. How do you do that in a relationship? You're in a relationship. How do you keep the sexual energy flowing? Well, it's, first of all, it's, you have to bring your awareness to it. A, you have to value it. B, you have to be honest about what your needs are. Z, you have to be able to communicate about what those

needs are. And guess what? It changes. So you have to be willing to flow with the changes. Things that were really a turn on at one time in your life may change. Other things may develop. So it's this constant adjustment and reinvigoration.

So can you give me some examples and you don't have to talk about your own relationship but give me an example of these discussions where you talk about communication, people discussing what their needs are. Like what, what, what are some of the things that people could tell their partner, for example? Okay.

This is a common one. This is one that guys will come to me with. They'll be like, first of all, they'll ask the normal question. Isn't normal? It's XYZ, right? So let's take the case of like, let's say a guy is listening to this and he's got this big foot fetish, right? So he may not be sharing that with his girl, but he may be jerking off to that to porn, right? He just may be like, oh, I want to look at feed and I got this foot thing, but with her, I'm going to treat her like the woman that she is blah, blah,

blah. So the first thing is to realize this, to start your, to own your own sexual desire, right? You have to get to know it. Well, what turns me on? How does it turn me on? And really start to be honest. And then slowly, because you can't go from zero to 10, like one conversation but slowly you can introduce something and say hey it'd be really awesome if we would you be open to me like sucking on your toes for example right now typically if you have

communication if you have connection already your woman's gonna be like of course right feels really good by the way of course it feels really Feels really good, by the way. Yeah, of course it does. It feels really good. You can shower together if you're grossed out by the feet and you're not a foot fetishist. Take a shower. Exactly. Yeah. That's right.

And of course it does feel good. Plus a lot of things that we're into. And I say this also to women that I work with. It's like the things that you're most afraid of. Like those are the things you have to touch and start to bring in. That's how you keep the energy flowing. Because you continue.

What do you mean the things I'm most afraid of? Okay, let's say in your private space, in your fantasy space, you have this thing of like, I wanna get fucked by two guys, right? Now for a woman, you know. What's all due? No, no, I know. Well, I was reading your diary.

So, no, but that's the thing. Like I know the female brain. I know how, you know, awesomely dirty and naughty it can get and how amazing, you know, it can be. So I know like any woman who is alive at some point is like, I don't want, Lizzie, I've got two hands, I've got a mouth, I've got a pussy, and I have an ass. Hmm.

How many men does that take? Right. You know, it's just not, of course. I mean, come on, I've got a pussy, and I have an ass. Hmm, how many men does that take? Right. You know, it's just not, of course. I mean, come on, come here, right? Right, so if you start to tap those and say, you know what, like you don't necessarily have to go do them, but in your mind, your mind is this vast canvas of eroticism.

So your body is one thing, but your mind is, so the body is like physical, but the mind is the erotic mind. And so you can start to bring that into the bedroom Baby, you know like I would love wouldn't it be hot if and you and for woman, you know starting to bring your fantasies in now Here's the thing If you say I really will be so exciting to have two guys and he goes You know the record scratches You you know, guess what?

You guys may not be matched. And that's just the reality. And at some point, you have to decide what do you want. That's the biggest question a man or a woman could ask. People don't spend the time figuring out what they want. I can't say if any women are like, I don't know what I want. I don't know, I never think about it. I don't know.

I don't fantasize. I don't, and that's why I always show women, I'm in, but women sometimes have more challenge with this. Spend some time alone, do whatever you need to do to think about it. Like fantasize, when you're masturbating, like set the mood, fantasize, really think about it. Read a radical watch porn, whatever you could do to kind of come up with what your desires are.

Because I think it's weird, but some women just don't know. Well, they don't know because it gets very suppressed. But here's the thing, what I ask you to do is open that door because I know something that you may not know, which is I know, even if it's not going on in your conscious mind, it's going on in your unconscious mind. So therefore, we can open that door fairly easily.

You just have to kind of take a deep breath and say, okay, you have to go to the places they scare you. You know, for example, let's just say you, you know, you love sucking on feet. Let's say you love that way that feels and you just go, no, I really want that. I want you to suck on my toes while I play with my vibe and you hand-fuck me. Right. Right. Like cool. But guys also I think would love to hear that because they want direction. You're like, oh, this is going to turn you on. Let's do it. Let's do it yesterday. Why are we waiting so long? So yeah, so it is about talking to your partner. So when we say talking to your partner, that's what we mean is like sharing your

Fanacies and there's a way to do it. Yeah, and if you're a foot fetishist, I do hear from a lot of them. Starbursting, can I suck in your toes? You don't have to be like, I'm a foot fetishist and I'm dead. Yeah, that's true. You don't have to be like I'm a foot fetishist and I'm Did it? Frequent. Now, but say like I'd love to do it. Just grab your toes and stuff on. I'm just gonna have it. I had a guy do that to me a few in my life and I'm like wow that's awesome. Right. It's hot.

So I don't care if you're a fetishist, you're gonna suck on my toes. I'm down. So I'm cool with that, you know. So what are some of the, so you talk about what is this this Tontra okay, the this website Lawrence's website is tontardashx.com slash Emily where you're actually which is so cool. You're going to give away a special free. I am. It's a guide. I have to say this is this is so cool.

Thank you. Yeah, well, it's really important to me because this is my top 10 sexual touch secrets for men that I'm gonna give to your listeners only Okay, this is like some this is like jam packed with my like like guarded secrets I normally sell this thing, but I'm gonna give it to you guys because I think it's I think it's really important They need to know and how to touch women It's how to touch them like for like massage or like orgasm or everything all of the things. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't awesome. I can't wait for that. So what are some of the, like, like, why do men, you think they don't, you think touch seems to be like, yeah, I know how to touch a woman, but they, they really don't. Like, there's so much, I mean, the fact that you've written like 10 touch touch, you could say, like, what do you, there's, there's more than one. I mean, so what are some things in there that just a little highlight? Okay, well, rule number one, let me just tell you this, if you don't get touched down,

if you really like, you guys who are listening to this, listen to me, you don't get touched down, touch down, if you don't get that down, you are hurting yourself all the time, you have no idea, okay, why? Because I'm gonna say this word to you, and I wish we could take a picture of your face. It is grabby

Grabby are are are how much do you love that so Emily was just like I'm telling you when guys like they think you're turned on or the first time we together the first thing you've seen So they were and they grab me and they grab my breasts and then they go right for my genitalia I'm like, oh, I'm so not even with you right now. Yes. I miss you. I haven't seen you But but don't grab like you I think that a lot of women would agree. Sometimes you want to quicky and you want to throw each other against the wall And that's fine. Typically you want to be you want to warm her up slowly moving to it. Don't grab exactly. So touch secret, right?

Grabby take off the plate like just remove it Like you can never go wrong with removing grabby. Who wants to be grabbed? Think of a guy walked up to you and grabbed you. You'd want to fight him. You know, women don't feel, they feel the same way as like, who are you? Right. That's not the way to touch. Grabby is not sexy.

So, what is sexy? Something that I call, you know, any kind of gentle touch, right? So if I touch you like just right on the surface of your skin, he's touching me. I wish you could all see this. Yeah. And love it. Exactly. And all we're doing is, and it's a beautiful connection, by the way, and all we're doing is I'm just touching the surface of your skin just on your arm. But how can no one touches that way?

Because they don't know. But how go no one touches that way because they don't know they don't know I guess I've tried to you know express that I can't even talk right now because this feels really good what you're doing to me Yeah, and it feels good. Just touching my arm everyone don't get get your mind out of the gutter, but It feels amazing because I think That a lot of people prefer that slower touch at the beginning and then you can move it. Then you can even grab, maybe do whatever you want, but you need to start with a lighter touch. And lighter touch, like, what I'm noticing, I can't sure. I might slow down, stop talking so fast, that would be interesting.

What's so interesting here about this, so I'm just touching your arm right and your skin is responding like so you're doing it It's like you're just these tiny little hairs are kind of like going like Oh, it feels so good right and and that's the thing I am touching your arm But it's my arm people and it's I'm getting turned on exactly. So why is it? What are we gonna teach guys that they don't know right now? We're teaching them something very profound, which is what you just said. I'm touching your arm and that there

is turn on that starts because your arm bone is connected to the rest of your body, right? That's the beautiful thing. So if I'm touching you like this, your mind already knows like, oh, this is the nice kind of touch that's going to feel good on other parts of the body. Exactly. He knows how to touch.

Exactly. He's gonna touch me in the ways that I want to be touched. That's it. And we could literally do this. Like you want to talk about foreplay? Yeah. Just touch right here. If I did this. He's touching the back of my arm, like the upper arm. do this like you want to talk about foreplay yeah just touch right here if if I

did this he's touching the back of my arm like an upper arm exactly that what is that like my tricep yeah like your tricep exactly like if I'm just touching your tricep and I'm and there's all kinds of beautiful places of course there's the crook of your elbow right and just tingly these little places your bot guess what foreplay has started. Right. Right. It has already started. It's started.

We got to turn this off. That's it. But it's true that I've lost my turn in a thought because that feels so good. No, that foreplay is about, or that whatever, you hate that word, but the touching is, it's so crucial to starting everything in motion. And people don't, what was I just going to say?

I seriously lost my turn in a thought. Of course. And guys who are well, I was just gonna say seriously lost my transness. Of course, and guys who are listening, I want you to understand that. Do you understand that you just did what he saw? You know, like I lost my train of thought. Right, because it never happens. It doesn't happen, but what's so interesting is that your body is responding and that's because

this is my experience. Women are starving for touch. Right. Right. Starving because I- It's so easy. Like it's not even like hard, like I'm not saying like you need to go down and lick me in this way or do this to me, you seem to like touch. Exactly.

And men can be touched too. Women can touch men in the same kind of way. A lot of men love being touched in that way, right? Don't we have it? Well, right. Of course, all the techniques that I teach, like that are in, like my Tantra X University and all itself, all those things that I teach are things that are like you could, you could reverse them.

Like if you understand them, you can teach your girlfriend and she can then do the same thing that you use. Right. Exactly. Right. So, so that's great. Like that thing that just happened in your brain where you're just like, whoa, that's the beautiful thing.

It's the simplest thing. And guys, you know, this is from Moment One. Like take grabby. So your listeners, like I've never really done this before like this, but it was a perfect demonstration of exactly what I'm talking about. Exactly. You know, it just is like you get that touch right. And I love touching by the way, not only is it great for you but it's awesome for me and already I feel like I know you better just by how you've responded to the way I'm touching you

I'm like oh okay well I I know something I know a couple things genuinely right like I know I already have a sense of of how your orgasm would appear like oh wow how would my orgasm appear you like orgasm reader well in a way right because I'm because I'm noticing that you're extremely responsive to subtle Yeah, right? So that tells me like like I'm sure there are moments where you would love to get bounded away at But the bottom line is is that the majority of your time is going to be far more interesting if we're taking our time Absolutely, right if we're exploring the territory of we're expanding the touch and we're interesting if we're taking our time. Absolutely. Right. If we're exploring the territory, if we're expanding the touch and we're like, oh, let's slow this thing down, which, hey, here's another great tip for your listeners. When in doubt, slow down.

I always say touch or five times softer than you think. Exactly. Yeah. Slow down. Absolutely. Slow down. Like we're all in this crazy rush for I don't even know what first that I think met I feel that the reason why it meant are so Russian excited to get their penis in your vagina is because that I think Part of it is that they're like oh my god. I can't believe it's gonna happen

I might be rejected. I'm my penis my my my my erection might go away. I'd be gonna do now I don't know like that there's like this urgency like this is my chance and I got to do it now or time turned on. But it's such a twisted way of thinking because it's just I think it's what most women, I was just talking to my friend the other day and she's just finally with a guy who did the same thing touched her in such a soft way. They had their first date and they were in the car making out and he like just touched her over her pants in this really soft way and she had like an orgasm the car. And she's like, oh my God, I've been sleeping with these guys who come over

and just pound away at me and leave. And I have an orgasm in months. And this guy just touched me in the car for half hour and I had two orgasms. You know what I mean? And I was like, oh my God, I know, I know, exactly what you mean. So it's proof that we need that.

So I have to take a little break here for a sponsor. What we have to talk about about mask sexual flavor strips. Okay, I get tons of emails from you guys and you're like, my girlfriend will perform oral sex on me, she doesn't like the taste, she only does it on my birthday if that. And or from women saying like, I don't like the taste of semen and what is wrong with me.

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Oh yeah. Okay, so 50 shades of gray, if you do not know this, if you've been living under a rock, is this huge phenomenon, right? There's been 20 million copy sold or something that I didn't know. A bit novel that women, it's like a rottica, you know, that women are reading, it's about, you know, a young girl who gets taken by her billionaire lover and they get into some kinky stuff. And it's like, you know, women are like, they're calling it mommy porn and they're saying, you know, it's, I've been on the doctor's TV. I've been on a time TV show talking about it because everyone's freaking out about it. But what do you think that phenomenon is about? Like, why are women like, shunning their husbands and turning the doors and whatever, and they just want to read this?

Because what do you think it is about that book? I will tell you exactly what it's about. Okay. It is about giving permission for a woman to have her erotic mind stimulated. Right. That is the thing that we're talking about. So earlier you said something and I didn't get to respond to it. You were like, you know, well some women don't like sex. When you take, who, like seriously, what woman do you know if I say to you, hey, guess what, we are gonna have hot juicy sex for three hours, you're gonna come five times

and your toes will curl and you're gonna feel good for a week. She's gonna go like, no, I don't want that. Right, I don't want that. I don't want that, no, I'm not really. I'm asking you, why would you say no to that? And that's what I'm saying, right? So, women don't know, women don't have reference points and guys don't know.

But Fifty Shades of Grey is like this opening of that erotic door, right? It's a taboo door because we're talking about lots of kind of, you know, kinky things, not too kinky, but, you know, stuff that's outside of the normal, guess what, that door is opened. It's a best-selling book. Other women are doing it.

It's okay. You know, so it's a best-selling book. Other women are doing it. It's okay. So it's like a permission to go into those erotic places and start to open up those doors of fantasy that the erotic mind allows. Right. Am I always here mind or brain as our largest sex organ? It is. It's your mind and it takes women to these places and showing that women can get around and they do want the stuff in their men and the guy should read this book. Why don't they reading it? I think about what I was doing, I'd be like, oh, I better read this book.

Well, you have to read it. The same thing that we're talking about now is that men don't want to, but they don't know to take the time to learn the stuff and to study female, the female orgasm. So what are some of the other secrets of the female orgasm that you can share with us? Well, I mean, I think one of the most important things to understand is that women love orgasms, right? This is how the clitoris, you have the clitoris, which is basically one organ. We are the only mammal, and I know you know this, but a lot of guys don't. The clitoris has only one function, which is pleasure. So here you have these 8,000 nerve endings that are just for female pleasure. 8,000 people, nerve endings. Yeah. That's what's going on with the clitoris, right? So if you start to understand that you better know that thing.

Now a lot of guys think that the clitoris is just that little tiny little spongy nub right that you know just under the hood they think oh that's the clitoris. Well no it's not because the clitoris has these long legs and roots and you need to understand anatomy right. It's basic anatomy but how do you learn? You study some anatomy, you talk to your girl, how fun is that? I mean, that's the beautiful thing about sex education, specifically. It's like, how much fun can we have? Learning awesome stuff with our liver. Right. Like how great.

How great. Like learn it together. I mean, I wrote a book called Hot Sex. So we're 200 things you can try tonight. You can all order it on Amazon right now. And that's some ideas. You can flip through the book and just say, hey, honey, let's try this tonight. Let's try that tonight. There are great pictures and anatomical pictures in the book and reviews, sex toys and positions

and all that stuff. And I think that there are so many tools out there and that you should become a student of sex. Like we all are. Well, I think that's it. And here's the thing. Like, okay, as much mastery as I have, as much as I know, I know enough to know.

And I'm not even bullshitting when I say this. I know enough to know that I don't know. So therefore, I will ask, therefore, I'll pay attention when I touch you, see how you respond. Therefore, I will listen to our communication. I'll pay attention because I touch you see how you respond therefore I will listen to our communication. I'll pay attention because I am learning and it is not of a genna is not one size fits all. It's like it's unique her you know I like to call her her her you know her flavors change her taste change I might go down on her like on a on Monday and things might be a little you know kind of like tangy

And on another day's like sweet nectar. It's just things change your pleasure changes the intensity of sensation Is going to change you might like it really rough one day and then you go like whoo. No, no today. I want it like Super light touch, you know That's just the way it is. Things change. We change. Our moods change. Our energy changes. So, you have to know that you don't know.

There is no one size that fits all. And a lot of people try to pretend that there is. There isn't. Right. They think like my last partner like this. So, my current partner is going to like this. And that's just the wrong way to go. Yeah.

We never did get into the, oh, do we get into the fingering? We did a little bit about it. We just do spot, but is there anything else that we were gonna, because I got off on the hand job thing, which I think is important. Hand jobs is less a loop. It's awesome. But the fingering, there was something else that you were, was there just the G spot, finding the G spot, the finger is a great way to find it. A lot of men, like I've like penis issues or whatever they think that we, and they actually say like using a finger or a vibrator is a great way to find the true spot. Yeah well hand sex is great and your fingertips are so sensitive so using a lot of lube and taking your time you can go in and I like to use my middle finger my ring finger and my middle finger. And then just as I end and just put them really like right at the opening of the vagina specifically and just kind of rest there.

Because because you're you're pussy when she's ready, we'll start to suck fingers in. Like I don't have a penetrate, right? She'll just start to go like, oh, I want this. You know, you might scoot your hips down. you know, literally the swelling starts and there's this kind of almost like this suction that happens. Slow, slow, slow, slow. Right. And suddenly your fingers are just inside the opening of the vagina and there right at the at the top of the the backside of the pubic bone is this lovely tissue that swells. that is the G spot, and again, go slow, try things.

You might like circular movements. You might go to the sides of the G spot, which open up this, there's reach sensations because the sides of the G spot will also stimulate the legs of the clitoris. So just understand that you have this thing. Right, understand this people off. This is so important. Yes, understand that this is an organ for pleasure. Please her. Pleasure. Please. Because you'll also get back as the other thing.

I think I was like, why is there so much I'm pleasing her? I just want to sex and get off. Well, if you want to have good sex and you want to have a people performing sex with the same person, it would be who you to learn a lot of the stuff that we're talking about. So what about your Tantra X University? What is that about? People here, Tantra, and they think, oh god, I've got an orgasm, an delayed orgasm for two days.

I don't get it. Like, there's so many different kinds. But I think a lot of it just has to do with your breath and connecting with your partner, right? I mean, how can we just talk about the mental health and sex? Let's talk about tantra. Okay.

Just quickly. So the way I like to teach tantra is to get rid of the bullshit and kind of deal with the science. The thing about these many, many ancient techniques, yoga included, these people studied this stuff and did discover things, but they miss, they

miss attributed causation, which is what we do all the time. We think like, Oh, I did this and then that happened. And it's not really about that. It's like, if I look at into your eyes and I'm open and we connect with our breath, right? And I'm not talking to you in like some creepy way. I'm just saying like, I want to just connect with you. So I want to look at you. I want to keep eye contact. That's tantra. That's the how I teach it. I'm I consider myself like a tantra rebel. I don't give a shit about history. It doesn't matter to me because history is a lot of times people are just

misinformed. So just because, you know, oh, well, the elders did it this way 3,000 years ago. Like, who cares man What do we know now we have the benefit of science and we have the benefit of understanding so I know for example May I touch you please? I'm waiting for him to touch me again. Please pay attention. I just asked your permission Right does that make me a pussy? No, you don't you just respect me because I'm because I asked for permission to touch you. Do you see what I'm saying? These all of this stuff is what gets in the way of us having awesome sex. What I asked is permission. May I touch you? Yes, you may. Thank you. So I'm going to put

my hand right here. Okay. Just on your chest. And as I do this, so right away your body is responding. It's so interesting because you have a lot of sensitivity in your breasts. All over. Yeah. Well, I can feel like my hand is actually tinkling just from your, just from feeling like what's going on around my hand.

I'm just touching your breastbone right now. But, but just this simple touch. Now check this out we've already dead air so dead air is not good okay so I'm breathing yes we're breathing and now check this out now your eyes are closed but just for a moment just look at me so me. So now I'm just touching you and we're just, you know, just looking and adding a little breath and it just feels good. It's like I can, oh, it's like, oh, wow, look at that. I can see your high color and I can start to notice some things and I'm like, oh, wow, you're actually really, like, there's a really sensitive, really deeply sensitive woman in here. Oh, it's our telly one. Oh, sorry. Oh, my God. Oh, sorry. Wow. So, yeah.

Right. So, it's such an exactly, right? And I can feel just in my own way. So, how do you explain what just how? Like, you put your hand like above my breast, but he was not touching my breasts per se. I will gladly touch your breasts. Oh, we can do that next. We have a few more minutes. But, um, no, but then our breath, we connect with our eyes. I kind of have to breath. Oh, we can do that next. We have a few more minutes, but no, but then our breath, we connect with our eyes. I contact is so important too. I mean, let's say you just stare at your lover

the whole time and having sex with your together, but it is a great place to ground you and connect you with your partner, right? Yeah, and I think that's the thing. So I'm gonna give you your listeners one more thing, which is to practice opening your eyes, experiencing pleasure, right? Because if you can open your eyes, more thing, which is to practice opening your eyes, experiencing pleasure. Right? Because if you can open your eyes, experiencing pleasure, you are being

vulnerable. You're saying, yes, I'm letting you see me have pleasure. Now, this is the thing. We have to read, especially guys, we have to retrain our brains because we're looking at computer screens jerking off. And of course, we, you know, we want eye contact with porn. You want it, we want eye contact with porn. You want that, you're like, oh, I want to see it, right? But as soon as you're with a real woman, and there's eye contact, all this shyness and embarrassment comes up because you're not, you know,

guys are just not used to dealing with that interaction. And it's so intimate. It is. So practice, practice, that's how you do it. You're a practice, you take a deep breath and you say, okay, I've got my clothes on and I can still touch you and keep eye contact. But make touch and sensation and eye contact

start to connect those things because it's hot. It is hot. It's sexy, it's intimidated, it's stimulating. And it's for the women too, like women, a lot of times too, they don't, they don't, couples have sex, they don't want to, like, open their eyes so they don't want to feel that intimacy. And I think people go to their own space and they're trying to,

I don't know what they're thinking about, but their eyes are closed. So it's like, yeah, they turn the lights off or, right, whatever. Yeah. So, and then what about breath? I always say that breath is such an important part of sex. A lot of people, women and men hold their breath for themselves, or be the best orgasm in that can prevent them from actually having orgasms. Like a lot of sex. A lot of people, women and men hold their breath for themselves, they're about to orgasm and that can prevent them from actually having orgasms, like a lot of women.

So what do you think about women who are, who say they can't orgasms or not, who are, do you believe like there's some people are like, every woman can have multiple orgasms or every woman can have, you know, whatever. I mean, have you been you the sexual master that you are? Have you ever been with a woman or you're just like, I've tried everything I can't? Never had that happen.

Yeah, it may have been, it may have been a bit obtuse. Typically, if, typically if a woman is not having an orgasm, I just look at it as, I'm not creating enough safety and relaxation for her. Oh, that's a really good way of looking at it. Right, so she doesn't feel safe. She doesn't feel relaxed. She's not feeling safe.

It's so important to feel relaxed and safe for the man. Like if you and to relax on him, because so another thing that really kills the orgasm for a man and for women is stress and the thoughts in our mind that is racing, like, oh, gotta answer this email and the kids are crying and I gotta finish laundry and I gotta go to the end of more thinking during to go to do it and we're thinking during sex

And that's we're thinking about are to do this and I think that by focusing on breath and eye contact like there's no space for that stuff You will relax. Well, right. It will. I just did it to you. I just by touching you I I Short-circuited your you know, I've got to do this and what time and how much and I got to talk about these things right? That's that's the short circuit. So guess what? That's why I'm giving this free gift. You know, that is why I want you guys to pay attention to this. Oh my god, that's really cool. That's 10, it's the top 10 sexual touch secrets for men. It's tantrax.com forward slash Emily, right? Yeah, Tontra-ex.

Oh, Tontra-ex.com forward slash Emily. You can also find this on my website, sexwithemily.com. I've got one more thing to say though. It's about, oh, not one more. This is just one of my sponsors. It's called Max for Men. Max for Men, it's Max, the number four men, is a product line which is so cool, Lawrence just came out.

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What do you do? Do you've men who talk to you about that? They have arousal challenges. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, because because we it's so easy to do. It's a big one. Yeah, and you can get wired to a certain kind of stimulation. So I think it's really important to, you know, I, I, I, I,

You do get wired. Yeah, right. Yeah, so, so for me, it's really important to kind of keep changing things up. I think it's really important to break routines because what you really want to, if you're going to be wired to something, just be wired to expansive pleasure. Not just one form. Practice things, try things. In fact, a very good friend of mine, once her system is like, she'll get together with

her lover and they'll just have, like, let's just do an exploration thing. We're not going to chase orgasms, not the way to go. Don't chase orgasms, we're not going to get from A to B, we're just going to chase orgasms, not the way to go, right? Don't, you know, don't chase orgasms. We're not going to get from A to B. We're just going to explore. Let's try this. What happens if you're on your back in this way? What happens if you're doing downward dog and I come up behind, you know, like, what, what kinds of things?

Right. They just try. It's like a laboratory, you know, and you just make it fun. Like, I, I think it's really important. You talked about adding energy into the relationship, experiment, try things, communicate, grab your book. You know? Grab my book, yeah.

Open a random page. Exactly. I just try to see the couples. I'm like, you don't have to sit down with your real things. But it's a honey, just like flip it open. Let's try this. So that's a great way to do it. So that's a great thing that you said about exploring because I hear from a lot of couples

who have been together a long time. You know where this is going, and they no longer have sex. So they no longer feel like they have that attraction or the sex has become kind of boring to them and it's not as frequent. And so I always tell those couples to take sex off the table and why you just spend a week just exploring again, you know, spend a night making out, spend a night touching each other's body. So that's a great way of learning again, like learning new tricks because you're with someone

for a while, you're like, I know he's gonna touch me here and then I'm gonna touch him there, and then Albanyl or his own Hello Orrism and then we'll fall sleep or we'll turn on sports center or whatever you do. But if you take sex off the table and you're like, it's not about having more sex, it's about having more, learning more about your partner

and exploring more. That is a great exercise to do today. Tonight we're not even going to chase or I like not chase the orgasm. Talk to me about that. But like we have so many erogenous zones that are untapped men and women that we don't even know about. They blow your mind like seriously. Like I feel like so many men who are missing out because they don't know.

Like and you just let stuff you can't explore in you. I think you might need a partner who's interested in learning and you might find out that like the back of your kneecaps can give you mind-blowing orgasm. You didn't know it, but if you're on your deathbed and you die and you didn't know that you fucking could have an orgasm from the back of your knees. That would suck.

That would suck. Right? That would be so bad. So what you can do, by the way, that's the cool thing. Human beings, we have the ability to sexualize literally anything and everything. And that's the beauty. I one time had a man that I worked with who is a quadriplegic. And what I started teaching him, which he already have an understanding of, is like the energetic orgasm to let your whole body have an orgasm, right? That's possible. That's part of what Tantra is about by the way. Okay. Yeah. Right. So where you where you where you

ship the focus, let's say, from the head of your cock or from the, you know, that little spot on your clip where you're just like, ah, right. Yeah. Right. Where you start to spread that out and you say, okay, how can I expand this pleasure into my entire body? So that's there that's why we're we're get so intense where you can literally have a full body Or this is what you teach at your time. Oh, yeah, this is this person. You teach this. Yeah, yeah, you can like anyone could do this Oh, yeah, I could do this. Oh, yeah, I don't think I've had that. Yeah, I'm gonna be honest. No Well, I want one. I want that. Yeah, I want to go to your university I'm gonna be honest. No, well, of course.

I want that. I want to go to your university. I want you to be my teacher. So, man and woman can learn to have that full body. It's just about breath and letting go and practicing and signing up for your university. How hard is it? Like, what do they have to do? Like, is it like an online course?

Or would you? Yeah, it's part of, it's basically part of, you know, tantrax.com forward slash Emily, right? I mean, it's part of that whole, like, that world that you start to enter this world of just great, awesome sex. And part of that for some, some people are going to be like, okay, I've scratched the surface and that's enough for me. It gave me what I needed. But some people want to dive deeper.

And that's what the deeper materials are for. You know, where you really want to go, because you might be having like what you think, and it probably is the best sex of your life right now. But I feel like sex is so expansive, and it can just always get better. Well, right, anybody who says that, I know that they just have you would never say that if you had your windows open, as it were, If you had your mind blown, you'd be like, not so much. Nothing wrong with it, but you would have new reference points.

You go like, yes, it may be the best sex of my life right this second, but there is more, because there is. It is literally pleasure is infinite. And every time that's why I say, like, I'm always learning because like just like I just noticed just in touching you like I was like okay cool there's I just notice something how how it just affects your body that's a little piece of information that would help me understand how to help you have a full body orgasm for example right. I don't know I didn't know that before today right but I can see that we could start right here with your arm and we could start to go on this whole journey through your body, right? And that might be different if you were just used to

having your clip, you'd be your pussy lick to a certain way and you're like, I like it like this all the time. You'd be missing this whole freaking universe of other possibilities. That's why it's important to change, communicate, try different things because we don't know what's possible. And I hope I have not had the best sex of mine. Right. I hope it never stops and just getting better and better. And it is through touch and you're so right. And I feel like what you said was a really good point

that men and women need to pay attention to their partner. Like, if you got, that would be so hot if I was with, you know, if I was a man who noticed those little things. Oh wow, I grabbed her arm, so therefore I mean, this and that, take those mental notes with your partner of what works, what doesn't, what that can mean, do it again, if it feels good, ask questions, everything that we're talking about today. That's right. It's so important. Yeah, it is. It all really starts with just vulnerability. Honestly, it's like, I hate that. Really have to be vulnerable. What do you mean exactly? Well, what I mean is like, it's kind of a joke. People think I'm not

vulnerable. But I am vulnerable. Wasn't it vulnerable? You are. We, whatever believes that is just they're not. I am, you guys know that I am. I am. Okay, so Lawrence, you are gonna give this 10 sexual touch secrets for men. So it's only for men, that's fine. And women can download it too and give it to the part, I'm gonna download and give it to the next guy's sleep with. TontardashX.com slash, forward slash Emily and they get the free thing and they can also check out your

your video News that are about what video letter about what the tantra is and it's not I love you know what I love about you that It's not I was like oh my god Tontra like people are gonna be like my list. You're like oh my god I have no time for that. People think it's like you orgasms for seven days or whatever But it's it's really just simple things that you see. Simple things. We just did Tantra. We just did Tantra. I just did Tantra. Oh my God. I can't believe it. I'm so excited about that.

Okay. This is great. Any other final points? What about anything? Any final tip, like a specific tip that we could give our listeners about women that they might not know? Yeah. I mean, the bottom line is, is if you give her the space and you get rid of judgment you will discover the most naughty, delicious, awesome, incredible, open, bad-ass lover that you've ever known. Just create safe space and get rid of judgment. Nobody wants to be judged for their pleasure. How do you think guys can make women feel safe? Oh my god I've got like 50 different things,

but number one how I touch you. Start by touch. Touch starts the first second you meet somebody. You meet somebody you have eye contact you have touch. That starts to communicate safety because if my eyes are darting all over the place, I don't know. Right, we're not connected. But you've always been doing this between mad. Lawrence, I met recently, and your hugs are amazing. Like, you're good. You just, you connect, probably, with so many people

wherever you go. Well, I like to, I mean, I enjoy it. So I mean, that's the thing. I enjoy it too. I'm like, Lawrence is going to be there. I'm going to get a hug. I'm so excited. Yeah, and start finding pleasure in those things.

Right. If I were to tell guys take one thing away Stop trying to take point a and insert it into slot B. Oh, I love it. Okay, Lawrence Thank you so much and thanks everyone for listening to such with Emily remember to check out my iPhone app apps Kegelcamp how important are Kegel exercises? Oh please. Oh my god It's for men and for women to remind you dear exercises exercises. Check out my book, Hot Sex, over 200 things you can try tonight. And my latest iPhone app is called Sex Drive. If it's for couples or if you're just dating someone once twice, it doesn't matter.

It'll give you some good tips to spice up your sex life. So thank you, Lawrence, and thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. It was a good for you. Email me. Feedback at sexwithemleague.com. Hey guys, can I see a question? How are your balls feeling right now? Are they super clean and dry?

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