Sex With Emily - SWE: How to Flirt

Episode Date: March 13, 2014

If you're still figuring out how to flirt, you're not alone. WingGirl Marni Kinrys and Comedian Kristen Carney from the Ask Women Podcast join me on this podcast episode to breakdown the art of flirting. Marni is a professional wing girl- she teaches men how to flirt and start successful relationships. She reveals secrets from her Wing Girl Method, which will make women want you. Kristen is a professional sketch comedienne, actress and host whose work has apperead on Comedy Central, Funny or Die, TLC and her new YouTube channel: See You Next Tues Comedy.So many men fall into the dreaded "Friend Zone" because they're nervous and will agree with everything women say instead of setting themselves apart as an interesting person. Don't be afraid to challenge women's viewpoints. Speak up when you have an opinion. After all, it's not called witty banter for nothing. Most women truly value personality more than looks. A conventionally unattractive man can become sexy with a great personality and confidence. You'll learn how to show a woman the best version of yourself on this show.  This podcast isn't just for the men, Kristen and Marni also give advice to women. Find out which guys you should give a second chance to and which guys deserve the boot.  Finally, we all talk about sex! After you learn how to flirt, you're going to want to learn how to properly seal the deal.  If you want to learn more about Marni's Wing Girl Method for making women want you, visit sexwithemily.com/winggirl.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of misogyny candles? Okay, so get this. I always like candles when I'm enjoying glass of wine with friends, and recently they were over and I lit three candles from my new line called Emelene Tony. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed.

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So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at Emily and Tony.com. And you're welcome. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on date. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand.

Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithfamily.com. We can listen to our podcast, sign up for a mailing list, and you should definitely sign up for a mailing list

because I found someone's family and I want you to think about that, that you'll actually enjoy my emails because you're probably listening to this show because you want to have better sex than you want to have better relationships. So that's all I try to do in my newsletters to you. And I also give you a report of the five biggest mistakes men are making bed and women are making a bed. You can choose whoever you are, man or woman, we'll give it to you. Also file me on Facebook, Twitter, sex with Emily, and as always, you can email me

all your questions to feedback at sexwithemily.com. I do read all your emails, might not always get back to you, but I try to. And if I don't, I read them on the show and I do love hearing from you. And I love your feedback, what shows do you like, what don't you like, what made you happy, what made you cry, I hope I never make you cry,

but if I do, I'm totally cool with that, we can have a talk about it. Today's show I'm very excited for my guests here they are the infamous women from the Ask Women Podcasts. Hey, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us. It's so good to be here. I feel like we're like swapping. We are exactly. I was on their podcast last week, but you have to check out at podcast one. Yeah, podcast one podcast o any dot com, or you can go to iTunes and download ask women. As you were phenomenal. Thank you.

You did two episodes. You've only aired one of them, but it was amazing. Aw, thanks. I learned something because we spent the first half hour talking about the clitoris, where to find it, what to do with it. And it was really easy.

Did you learn where to find the clitoris? Yes, I what to do with it and it was really good video after the show actually Kristen finding her clips and finding her clip exactly I would start looking at my toes I really enjoyed being on your show. That's great. It's really you do a lot of things so first Well, I want to talk about who you guys are. So first, Omani is from the Wing Girl method. She is the constant wing girl. You know that you're your best friend that you bring to the bar and you're like, hey,

I want to talk to this cute chick, but you've made a life career out of it, which is amazing. Yeah. I've been doing it for over a decade now. I know. And actually, so now I'm the virtual wing girl. So it was really hard for me to be available to men constantly as being their personal wing girl. So now what I do is I have a website, thewinggirlmethod.com,

and I help men around the world understand women, so they can attract dates to do and get any woman they want. I love that. And if you were to sexceling.com slash wing girl, we also have you sign up there. Oh yeah, and you've got a free giveaway. My book, 10 Mistakes Men Are Making with Women, and how to avoid them. Oh, yeah, and you got a free giveaway my book ten mistakes men are making

With women and how to avoid them. Oh, okay. I love it because they're making a lot. Okay, and Kristen your comedian. I have a Fun, she's very funny. I do the opposite of a lot. You guys that's why you're good. That's why you're good You know crew. It's your comedian actress and host your credits include Comedy Central funnier die TLC Rinton work has appeared on some e-cards. Hello giggles, Comedy Central and Whiststream. So what in your YouTube channel? Yes, in my YouTube channel, which is something that my friend and I have been

really enjoying doing. It's our sketch group is called See You Next Tuesday because we're kind of conti, but we're actually not conti at all. We're all really nice. And it's like, see ya. Like, you know, it's more like, Comedy Tuesday, I won't be there. What? over. Okay. And it's like, see ya. It's more like, comedy Tuesday won't be there.

It's more like, it's like the abbreviation for a content. Like, it's abbreviation for a content. Oh, it is. See you next Tuesday. Exactly. Do you know the letter C, you know what?

No, I'm really slow. I got it. Okay, so YouTube.com slash see you next Tuesday, but it's S-E-E. See, this is why I didn't get it because I'm slow. Yeah, but unfortunately that link was already taken or that, you know, direction, but it's SE. See, this is why I didn't get it because I'm slow. Yeah, but unfortunately that link was already taken or that direction, whatever it's called.

I just wanted the CU Next. I know, I don't know. Everybody else wanted it. Right, I wanted actually. Yeah, so it's CU Next, Tuesday's comedy. Okay. Yeah, I work with Marney on the Ask them in podcasts and it's a good back and forth

because Marney has all the advice and she's really smart and actually this weekend People were asking me questions and I was like, what about email Marney? You know, what would I ask? So what kind of questions you could ask? Everything Okay, I see everything What are the top, because people ask me this all the time and I love that I can just ask the red bag to you What are the top questions that you could ask by your life?

The top questions are approaching women that guys are fearful of approaching so and and the friend zone Those are two huge topics for a lot of guys. What do I say, how do I approach? There's this girl that I want blah, blah, blah, blah. What do I do? That's the main question that we get from guys. Okay. And so what do you tell them about approaching women?

Just do it. Just do it, right? That's a short version. That's a short version. We're going to have a Nike of dating. The what? The Nike. Just do it. Right, exactly.

It's true. They think too much. They think way too much. Here's the thing. So we talk about confident people all the time. We actually talked about it when you were on our show too. And a lot of people think that to be confident, you have to be confident 24-7.

But you don't have to be confident 24-7. Right. You can sit and then cry. Yes, absolutely. And Jerry's, I guess it's chicks, but we're not gonna do. Even for men, they get down on themselves for a very long time

So if they approach a girl and they get rejected they can carry that rejection for 30 days 50 whatever it is Some progary are a lifetime a lifetime exactly and so the thing is with confident people confident people Just know how to bounce back really quickly. They have tools Which is what we provide them with is in their tool belt so that they can bounce back quickly and they don't live in this place of rejection and loneliness and disappointment with themselves. So yeah, so many of them do. And it's so true that, you know, or you always hear about the guys in high school who didn't have a game and they never, like they never got it because they got rejected so

many times. You see, it's like, after a while, you do, it's like, but everything's like practice makes perfect. You get rejected enough. Especially living, I can tell you in the entertainment business, Kristen, you know this two being entertainment. Like, I got rejected eight million times starting to section down. I mean, I still get rejected.

And it's like, yeah, I'm almost like proud. I get the points like, okay, I got the rejection. Like at the beginning, it was really painful. And now I'm almost like, yeah, because you can, but I'm cool with it. Well, you can wear it as a badge of honor saying, I did this this many times. And so based on that, I mean, it's like if you're for, you know, for your entertainment industry, that means you're getting up in the morning and you're actually doing what it is that you're trying to do. Right. It means you're not staying on the couch. And so

it's the same with guys when they're going out dating. If you're getting rejected, at least it means you're out there doing it. Exactly. Because so many other guys, they're just sitting on the couch, they're waiting, they're hanging out with friends, they're out there doing it. Exactly. Because so many other guys, they're just sitting on the couch, they're waiting, they're hanging out with friends, they're playing video games. I don't know what they're doing, but they're so afraid of you. Well, here's the thing with practicing getting rejected. It's one of the exercises that we talk about all the time.

Like to actually enjoy rejection. But when you're practicing, you don't want to practice doing the same thing every time with different girls. You want to start tweaking little things, seeing what works, practicing is like it can actually make it perfect. That would be creepy if you were doing the same thing every time. Exactly. Getting off on being a director. Exactly.

I don't want to do that. We talk about it on our show, like what to say, how to say it. The thing is you don't have to listen to exactly to what we say. We give you the guidelines and guidance and then you get to go out there and practice it and see what works. And that's the fun part. When it's not about okay, like my success isn't, I'm going to approach this girl and we're going to go home and have sex. I'm going to approach this girl and I'm going to practice approaching and get that down and be really successful

and then go on to the next. Because that will build your confidence. Absolutely. Absolutely. So what would be the things that you think that men are doing that are wrong? How is a typical man who gets rejected a lot? Why is he getting rejected? He's being a wimp. He's not asking for what he wants. He's not going after what he wants.

I call it a nice guy manipulation, where instead of being a bad boy or a jerk or, I don't know if I can swear on this show. Yeah, totally. What they're doing is they're setting aside their intentions and covering them up and what they do is they pretend to be really nice and really pleasing and when they're being really nice and really pleasing they forget to actually be themselves. They forget to state their opinion, they forget to say how they feel about things, they forget to speak their mind, they forget to be who they are. Right. And that's where the friend zone comes into play for a lot of guys which I actually call the fake boyfriend zone because it's not the friend zone comes into play for a lot of guys. I actually call the fake boy friend zone because it's not the friend zone. Right.

Because with your friends, you're hanging out with them. You farm for them. You call them out on their shit. You challenge them. You tease them. Whatever you poke fun of them all the time. Guys who are in the friend zone with women don't do that to women. And if they act because they really want to see for them.

And they like, yeah. And if they actually acted more like a friend, like when they're with their friends, they would get more attention. That's a really good point. So we would, because those are like, yeah, we don't think you're hot. We don't think you're sweet and nice. We want you to feel anything.

Yeah, I like to feel anything. At all, there's no challenge there. There's no excitement. There's no intrigue. There's no curiosity being built up. But who is this guy that can talk to me that way? Exactly. And I'm not endorsing being an asshole

and putting a woman down. But what I'm talking about is actually challenging a woman. So for example, if you're sitting with this woman that you really like and she's talking about her ex-boyfriend and crying on your shoulder, which, you know, most guys get into that situation, there's two different guys. One guy can sit and listen to her

and make her feel better and tell her how wonderful and how beautiful she is and blah, another guy can say, all right, like if you keep talking like this, I'm gonna have to charge you $150 an hour. Let's get up. Let's go out and go dancing. Exactly. Have a really fucking good time. Right.

Super sexy right now. And we're not wasting this. Right. And then you go out with each other. Exactly. That's way more exciting. That's how you fall into exactly. That just really made me want to gay male friend. Like, girl, you look hot and we're going to go shake it. Exactly.

Like the gay best friend. Yeah. And that's what they have. I mean, to the women listening as well, be aware that you're manipulating guys in that sense and know, look to other people in your life to see if you can get that fulfillment from maybe that guy that you're doing it to. If you do have the gay male friend, go talk to him.

You know, he doesn't care if he's in the friend's own. That's his purpose in your life. Right, exactly. It's really funny because Kristen keeps saying, I'm the one who gives advice, but she's gone really good at giving advice. Exactly. I'm learning.

Well, you guys are experts, and so I'm learning from the best. That's good. Well, you know, we learn from my experience too. You know, I didn't start out being like a sex expert. I started out just, I was talking about sex. Talking about sex.

Yeah. No, I was having some bad sex. I was like, I really like, I have to put it was a documentary filmmaker, and I was doing, I actually used to work in politics, and I thought like, really? I got to the point, was a documentary filmmaker and I was actually just working politics. And I thought, I love the documentary process of interviewing people. But then I was like, what if I'm going to devote my life to something, what is it?

And I thought sex and relationships. Because it's infinitely interesting. I wanted to understand how relationships work. I'd always seen that bad sex was a culprit. And I had had bad sex. I was having bad sex time currently which at the time that I started the show and I was like enough of this how can I have better sex was got even better ways and then I started interviewing people now like two thousand

shows later I guess I can say that I am an expert. You have to be funny if you like and then I started sleeping with people. Exactly. And that's where you get it in the mirror. Exactly. And that's where you get it in the mirror. That's it. But it's funny because it's one guy and it's so bad because that but his actual problem this

wasn't the only reason, guys, but he not only was he a premature ejaculator, have you ever been with anyone like that, a minute man? I actually haven't, but I have friends who do have that issue. So it wasn't even like, because you could say it's a minute or two minutes, but it was just that a lot of times it's just that they come before you want to or before they want to. And he never worked on it. He spoke a lot of pot because there's a lot of things that you could do

to kind of work on it. And he just wasn't pleasing, it was bad. But so, but that leads me to actually, promising, maybe think of my bad sex and why I started the show. Promescent is one of our amazing sponsors that helps us keep the show on the air. And it is kind of amazing. They are changing the world one premature ejaculator time.

Well, what do they do? Because it is a, so check this. It's a mild desensitizing spray that it basically allows men to less longer in bed. It's the only thing they're doing. What? They're creating lives because they're putting that sperm in the vagina,

other than on the belly button. In his pants before even on the right. Exactly. Exactly. So they're saving lives and creating lives love that. I should tell them that. That's a good tagline. I'll give you credit for that. Totally. Thank you. So I went to go for advertising. Did you? We talk after. Yeah.

So it's the only FDA treatment. So what happens is though, you don't so got so it doesn't get the woman now. And then you sprayed on the penis and. And they spray on the penis and it actually doesn't transfer it because if you wait five to ten minutes she won't feel it and she doesn't have no your using it but you last longer but it's not only for there's also this thing called you might have you might have this if you haven't been with the pre-mins or calculator which I thought interesting I've done a lot of studies on this too is

the orgasm gap so your typical woman takes anywhere between 15 to 20 minutes to orgasm really typical man Six to eight minutes. So even if you're less than six minutes, but she takes to break and dog years Right exactly right, so you want to last a little lot of guys can't last like you're like really like you orgasm in a minute I hate you well, no what's that? I'm doing it by myself. I can know how to make it faster but I'm with a guy. Yeah, I know I'm with my husband See I'm with a guy. Yeah, I know. Or with my husband. That's something great. Now, see, I'm not that quick. So it also just helps the last longer.

So check out, promessing. Go to my website, sexelmy.com, click on promess and check it, build up it. So that's how I started it being next, but I wasn't always the expert. And I think you are giving one full of ice to you guys. Do give great advice in your show. So that's the case.

We talked about the friend zone. That's a big one. One thing I do want to say to build on top of what you said. I remember there was one point where I was starting my business. And I started the same way as you. Right, you did. Where I was in an expert, I just had an opinion. And I would hang out with my guy friends

and I would give him advice. And the advice would happen to work. And it's something that Chris and I are really good at doing, is setting aside our own egos and not giving typical female responses. Like we dig deep to think, what do we actually respond to? Because most girls won't tell you. They're very uncomfortable saying, or they actually don't even know, and they're not aware of what they really respond to and how they actually act. They have these dreamy wants, and that's the information they typically relay to guys in their life. Like, guy friends or anybody else who's asking, that's the information

that they relay. So when I was figuring out, okay, I'm not an expert and got people in the media would ask me, why are you the woman to listen to? I wouldn't really have an answer. And so I asked my one friend and he said the way to really truly become an expert is by teaching information because then you're gathering and collecting information. So that's kind of very similar to what you did. And that's kind of what we were just talking about a minute ago by going out and practicing doing your approaches. If you don't know how to do something, you can find somebody to teach because then it puts you into an authority role where you're actually absorbing and

researching. Instead of being like the loser who you might think you are in your mind, going out and bothering people at malls. Exactly. Exactly. And you're beating yourself up, but you haven't even tried. So I think we all do that, right? And I'm bad at this. I failed at this once, but the more you do it, the more. Yeah, because you're here. And you can see how some guys think I was born with a skill. He's better at it.

They look at their friends, but you can learn it. It's a learn. It's a skill. That means it's a skill. And it is skill, that's a bit. It is skill. It is skill, that's a bit. It is skill, that's a bit. It is skill, that's a bit. What's interesting is that.

You're on. No, I'm going to choke. What I've realized is that from listening to Marney, a lot of the advice, you can not only relate to just relationships, but life in general. And that's how I started computing it. Because I'd never really thought or cared enough about relationships or dating or sex or anything to try to learn or think But all of a sudden it became Something that was relatable to me in my own life and not when I do talk to people like this weekend

I was talking to this girl I have taken that authoritative position because Marney's not there next to me, right and actually helped but it's because I'm understanding it in my own way from my own life experiences, not necessarily through relationships, but just from my own experience. Exactly. Well, but it's funny, because the other one I was talking to my husband who's having some difficulties in his sales process. And I always compare it to girls. Whenever he's like having a challenge in business, I'll always put it into the realm of, okay, let's say this was a dating scenario, how would you deal deal with it because he was great in dating? He was very confident with women

So if you got your sex. Yes. Yes exactly right, but he nailed me down No, but yes, but so like for him it's funny that both things dating and business skills or sales whatever you want to call it have very similar skill sets attached right if you're not a Sort of with women you're going to fail miserably. If you're not assertive in business, you're going to fail miserably. So whenever I compare it to women, he knows exactly what to do. But on his own, when he's trying to think what to do in business, he's like, what the fuck do I do? How do I write these emails? How do I reach out to these people? Because you let what you're insecure about and the experience get in the way rather than putting it in a perspective of something

that you've done before. Yeah. Yeah, no, just that, you know, Marney's husband having trouble in sales. It's because his nervous thoughts are getting in the way of him actually realizing that he knows how to do it. Right, and we all have our own answers.

That's the thing, too. Like we do all kind of know what to do, but we second guess ourselves. Right, and it's avoidance by asking questions and trying to not necessarily learn learning is good, but the asking questions and should I do the should I do that? It's avoiding doing what you know you should do. Exactly. And we all know deep down. So where do you think that women need the most help to? I mean, do you hear from women? I mean, you hear the ask

women podcast. Yeah. Yeah. I do. Where do you think that women are kind of falling short when it comes to finding their their their guys? Well, the truth is, I think that some women are putting off men without knowing that they're putting off men. And they're actually not realizing how challenging it is to be a man in the dating world right now. Because I think we have this fantasy as women that we are going to be with Prince Charming. We're going to be with this man

who is exactly like Matthew McConaughey, whatever the hell's name is. And 10 things. So whatever that movie was. But whatever it was where he just goes in, he has the 10 things. I don't even know if that movie was, but whatever it was where he just goes in, he has the right things to say at all the right times, he's super smooth, and the truth is that most men are not like that,

but once men get past that first interaction, they are solid, unbelievably amazing men. And a lot of women cut off men during those five minutes for a five-minute interaction. And I have to follow up with this this weekend. I was working at this event. And I had to figure out how to pack up all this stuff that needed to be shipped on a pallet. Okay, so that's like stuff I don't know how to do.

But it was, I was left to do it. And so I had done it on my own. I was like heavy lifting. And there were a lot of men there. And I had this plastic wrap that I needed. It was was giant and I needed to wrap it around the palette and I this just guy walking by who clearly worked With his hands who was working at the event just was walking and I just made eye contact with him And I just showed him the plastic. I go how do I do this? He came over and he started wrapping that plastic and it was like porn

Really watching me do that stuff. Like, oh yeah. And he had his little work belled on and he just, he knew how to do it and you could see the muscles and his arms going. And I really felt that moment. Because I don't really feel those feelings all the time, I really felt that throwback feeling

of when a man was a man and the woman was petite and didn't need help. Sometimes we just want a man to take care of. It's true, there's nothing wrong with that. It also was confusing for women to's it also confusing I looked at his hand would see if he had a ring on just you know because it was like yeah you did the you did the glance yeah cuz I was like fun you get like past age 30 I don't know I think your past and like I feel like it wasn't in my 20s I didn't even think about it but like past 8 years like it automatically me to guy go down to the yeah oh yeah yeah just think of it just like this automatic but I don't know if guys do that do

guys do that as much looking at the rain yeah like I don't know if guys do that. Do you guys do that as much? Looking at the ring. Yeah, I don't know. But then if they can probably ignore the ring afterwards. I've had guys say, oh, you're not married. And so obviously I know that they've done the glance without me noticing. Right.

This is the secret. Is he married? But you're like, why waste my time? Yeah, but going back to what women are doing wrong, is that they're not helping a brother out. Like I, exactly. Yeah. And they could. They're not giving a brother out. Like I exactly. Yeah. And they could.

They're not giving a second chance. If I'm not giving them a second chance, they're not being more open. They're not helping with the conversation because like I've been working, you've been working with men for a very long time. So have I. We talked to them on our show and we hear the challenges that they go through. The thing is that I get to work with a lot of men one on one because I do coaching with them as well.

And it's funny. When they're with me and they're in their element, they are the most freaking amazing men ever. They're super successful. They're very driven in their career. They have everything put together. They own a home. They have a great job. But when it comes to interacting with women for that first interaction, if they find a woman attractive, they completely fumble. And let me find different versions of themselves. So women don't get to see the put together version that I see. And if women could actually help, I know that women don't want to help men become more comfortable, but if they could help and assist a little bit and let men be more at ease and not give them such a hard time,

they would get to see that amazing man that I get to interact with. So don't let them have their chances. Yeah. But men always casting women off. Like don't men decide in three minutes whether or not they're going to sleep with the woman and then they, well, men are based. What I've learned from doing this show is that men not to say that they're super shallow, but in their not, but a lot of them are based just on looks. They'll see the woman and they'll say,

but what I've learned is that women are much more than the personality. So women won't look at a guy and rule him out in the first 10, 20, 30, 30. Well, there's so many more I will. There's in fact 18 attributes that women are much more into the personality. So women won't look at a guy and rule him out in the first 10, 20, 30 minutes where a guy will. There's in fact 18 attributes that women are attracted to. And for men, like, yeah, for men is like two.

Yeah, right. That's biological, how we are being. That's for evolutionary reasons that that's how we're constructed. So women can be swayed in many different directions based on these 18 characteristics. So it takes a lot more to-

What are some of them? Being driven, being passionate, being committed, being loyal, your status. Oh God, I'm hyper-examined. No, but you're right, there's a lot more things. That are things that Med would never think of that women care about. To be honest, looks is one attribute on that.

Is it nice? And a lot of the time- The way that they think looks matters. think of that women care about to be honest looks is one exact one attribute on that and a lot of the way that they that we think looks matters exactly being like chiseled out of the beautiful face we got a comment on our iTunes recently which bothered me because it said uh... unless you are a johnny depth look alike ninety five percent of this information on the show is useless and actually it's completely not because we've had we've said set many times that it's not based on looks

We've talked about having the bald George Costanza of Seinfeld more appealing than the Brad Pitt. It's so true It's absolutely I don't understand and that's another message that men are telling themselves. It's a disservice like like I don't have this I don't have that because like even if a man doesn't you know He thinks he doesn't have a like go. He's got a crappy car. car I got a job I live at home like yeah you have a bad attitude that's why you're not going to get it exactly but that's not why you're not going to land if you have the bad attitude and your bald it makes it five times more bald than you actually were to be exactly exactly we didn't even notice your bald and tell you had that bad attitude

right yeah exactly it's so true so so it's good because like yeah, a lot of guys are like, I'm not good looking at everybody. You also teach man, both of you, that that doesn't matter. All of this doesn't matter. Like we're not necessarily looking at all those things. It's in for more. It's not the main thing that we're looking at. Honestly, if somebody is really good looking and they have a horrible personality, really good looking is only going to last for a very short period of time and get very boring.

Same thing if you're super funny, if you're only funny, sorry Kristen. But if you're only funny, then it's not going to go very far. Like for example, if I get approached when I'm out and we're bantering and we're having fun and then there's nothing else after three minutes, I get exhausted and I'm like, come on dude, what else do you have? Like go into another level, try and like connect on a different way. It's boring for me. That's our women, the brain, the largest sex organ in the sense of, that's what turns us on.

We want the conversation. I mean, the guys that I've gone out with, some of my friends are like really, like you don't get cute guys at all. And since I've dated some handsome, whatever, but mostly for me, it's like if you turn me on intellectually, personally, you know, you're emotionally, I'm so there.

Like I could you grow on me or you would have. Yeah. And a lot of women are, I mean, evolutionary wise or whatever, we are attracted to men that remind us of our father. And so whether or not that comes across in looks or personality, I know for me, I'm attracted to a certain type of look of man that not all women would fight attractive. And so the man may not consider himself attractive, but the woman would still,

for whatever emotionally psychological reasons, find you attractive. So if you, you yourself in one way, maybe your crooked teeth, or your nose that goes the wrong way, for whatever reason is sexy to her. So you have to remember that as well, that there's not one traditional look of hot.

Well, I would tell guys that something really interesting happens when a guy approaches, right? So when a guy approaches me, I see him one way and then when he opens his mouth and 30 seconds into the conversation, his face like literally starts to morph in front of me. So if a really good looking guy with a great walk and a confidence smiles walks up to me and he's complete dud after 30 seconds, he becomes much more unattractive to me, very quickly.

And it flips on the other side as well. If there's another guy who maybe still walks up as confidently, has a little bit of a smirk, is like five foot four, bald, whatever it is. I may have an initial reaction to him, because if his looks, that's all I have to go by in the very beginning, and we are all judgemental and superficial, of course.

But he can slowly win me over. And his face starts to morph and I see him completely differently. And we did um, Greg Fitzsimmons show the other day. I don't know if the your listeners listen to him or what. It's a great. Oh yeah. Okay. But he's not the most handsome of men.

I had a huge crush on him by the time I was done. Sevens all the time. That's the least fun. 100% agree with Marnie. Yeah, and he pulled off his hat. He's bald. And he's about. We have nothing wrong with bald men.

There's nothing about right. He's very funny. He's very confident. He's only about five foot five foot six. I think shorter. Yeah, I mean, he's a very short man. Thin, wafelike. Yeah, I hope he's very skinny.

Very skinny. Right. And super sexy. Super sexy. super sexy. I got myself make yes. He asked good questions and he had the bounds between funny, but then he's also intrigued by you. And he looks you. It's my God.

I want to show you. Yeah, it's really sexy. And he talked about his brother having I think the terminology he was was evil eyes or crazy eyes because he would stare he was evil eyes or crazy eyes because he would stare at you during the conversation but Greg had a good balance between staring and not making you uncomfortable. It was almost like staring like I'm looking into you and I understand you. I want to know more. Right. I mean he is kind of pretty though.

But I was okay with it. Which has the bad intrigue. Yes. That's a perfect combination. But that's the whole thing. But that's what I was saying. He was bald, very skinny, not very good looking, a pervert and we still, what is?

And I, both of us. And we see this is so amazing information for men. So if you are sitting around and you're like, oh my god, I'm feeling bad about myself, I'm bald, I don't know where I'm going. I've dated many of bald men. So if you're bald, it's fine. So none of the stuff matters.

You should be very inspired. And you should check out the Ask Women podcast. And also go to Marnie site and laugh at Christen's YouTube video and all that stuff. Thank you. OK, can we talk about sex for a minute? Because it is a sex. Yes, sure.

OK, so Marnie, you're married. Yes. And I so I don't have sex. OK, you don't have sex exactly. So I want to know how do you keep it, you've been with your husband? 10 years. 10 years and and I know you've good sex You don't have good sex so I won't get into all the details you've shared But how do you guys think you keep it interesting because it's like the top question like it asked

Oh, the truth is we keep it interesting by being curious I'm a very curious person my husband is not as curious. He's 10 years older than me But because I think because of my curiosity, you are such a good old life. I am. Well, obviously for what I do for a living, I'm a very curious person, so I want to know what he likes.

I want to know what I like, and I want to always continue to grow with our sex lives. Right, see, that's the number one thing. Yeah. So what was the last thing you did that was kind of outside the box for you guys? Well, I think I told you with this actually, but the last thing that I did that was out of the box for me Which it's not even that just made everyone's out of the box one day for others

Yeah, husband was having a really stressful weekend. I'm like, you know what? I have sexy lingerie that I rarely ever put on it was like a Thursday afternoon I'm like I'm going to just put my sexy lingerie on have some high heels I love it for him a glass of whiskey, and be lying on the couch, ready for him when he comes home. And he walked in the door in the afternoon, and he's like, whoa, what's this? And we had unbelievable seats.

That's amazing. And it was so easy. You pulled out the lingerie, it could be his t-shirt. It doesn't matter, but we win. But I felt amazing too. Right. Because he wanted you to felt desired. It was a great little something you could do to spice it up.

Yeah. And the thing is, is that I'm not like an overly sexual sexual person where I have in the past showed up as a at his door and a trench coat I've never done that's pretty like that. Yeah, right exactly. That would be funny if secretly you're like some show up with a trench coat with actual watchers and she's like, I do like $800 for the slot. But see I love that 10 years and that's what you got to do things like that. It's not that hard. You were like, I don't understand. What do I do?

It's like one thing different. Give me a blow, Jabo and Lockster door. Make out with them, make plans, initiate sex. And number one, complain here for men is that women don't initiate sex enough. As far as I am the initiator in our sex life. And you're okay with that? All the time, initiator?

I'm not okay with that, to be honest. I wish she initiated more, but it's funny because we were having this talk while we're talking with, but Catholicism came up and I forgot my husband is Catholic. You forgot? Yes, I forgot. Well, because he plays the Jew. I'm Jewish. So he plays Jewish all the time. I'm like, well, I forgot your Catholics. You were growing up with a sin in your household. You guys were talking when you were in today. I'm trying to show you the other day. And I was realizing, like, maybe that's what it is. There's like the Madonna the horn, right? And so I brought it up to him

And he's like yeah, you know what he's like I can't help it He's a subconsciously that probably is how I see you you are my wife right before you were my girl I love and I want it I want to treat you with respect and love and blah blah. I'm like Yeah Everyone's about women do want to be thrown up on the wall. It's true More than everyone's in a world. Yeah, right now guys. Okay. What about you? You're you're dating your boyfriend? Yes. I have a boyfriend. Okay. Five and a half

years. Good for you. Yeah. Okay. So anything interesting? You've done lately that was sort of outside of your realm? Well, um, we had sex, which is not right. It was the first time in four and a half years. It's essentially. Yeah. No, I don't have, um, and this isn't great for your show. I'm sure, but I don't have a huge sex drive Okay, and or sex life which I feel very sorry for my boyfriend We don't keep it Shooking up because we just need to have sex and you know, honestly, that's really right he wants to have sex I have no desire to do anything different.

Right. Because I'm uncomfortable. Oh, no. Do you have orgasms? I do. Oh, that's good. I do. And that's the weird thing.

I'm like, I have no sexual drive at the beginning. Right. But like, once I'm in it, basically the way I can compare sex is to like, there's a pool in front of you. And it's glistening and the sun is shining in. And it looks so heavenly. but it's like 60 degrees and you do not wanna put your foot in. So for me, that's what sex feels like.

It's almost like when it's right there and there's a huge thing in my face, that's that cold pool and I'm like, I'm so cozy, just like wrapped in my blanket and I don't wanna go through this. But once I do, what eases you into it? So like, let's say, because you talk to that question a lot. Touch eases me into it. Yes, touch.

Touch, and I mean, I'm so rudimentary in this conversation, but literally, if my boyfriend just pressed like holds my vagina, like just literally, just don't stick in your fingers and just hold it. No, yeah, just hold it. And it's almost energy. The heat begins.

The blood starts flowing a little bit. And it's almost energy. The heat from the hand. The blood starts flowing a little bit. And then progressing from there. But if you just start to want to have sex, it's like, I don't even know I have a vagina at that moment. So unless there is something being warmed up or cooked a little bit, then nothing can happen. Exactly. We're talking about that on our show on the Ask Women podcast.

You were talking about how important it is to have foreplay to take your time to go slow with women. And so you're not saying that you don't like sex at all. What you don't like is the way that he approaches sex. Right. Yeah. That's actually very true. You don't like how he doesn't warm you up as much.

No, but I think he's also, he's had a lot of negative reinforcement where he's tried and I have just rejected him. So I think what in his mind is going on is like, this moment is fleeting and I just need to get it as fast as I can because this girl is insane. So I've discouraged him from doing the warm up just because of my reactions in the past to sex. So I think he's afraid to even initiate warm up. So how can you maybe change that around?

Have a conversation. Talk about sex communication is lubrication. That's why I always say that you got to talk to your partner about sex and the more you talk about sex, the better sex you're going to have. It's so true. And we actually have to wrap up. Is that true?

Anderson, we've got a few more minutes. Okay, the thing that I want to say that is also another good analogy for you is for women who don't, or men who don't want sex. I always say it's like, I don't a few more minutes. Okay, the thing that I want to say that is also another good analogy for you is for women who don't, or men who don't have sex. I always say it's like, I don't like the pool analogy, it's like going to the gym. It's like you don't want to go hard. It's hard to film. It's amazing.

It's like, yeah, afterwards you're like, thank God I went to the gym, but then you're like, you're putting on your shoes and then you get the, it's hard to, then you get out the door and you get to the gym and you're like, I'm going to do five minutes and then you're there for, yeah, for an hour and a half. So before you're in full sweat. Exactly. Exactly. And then you're so, so glad. So glad that you went. And then another thing I have to say is

okay, so sex, if you've been dating, what would you say has been like your biggest turnoff or end? Like what are the mistakes that sexually that you think that men have in making or that you've come into that have like they just have to have them doing turn you on or that just forgetting about being me and not connecting at all. I'll tell you a story about the first time that I ever had a one night stand. Okay. So for me, I grew up as a huge prude. No, you know, I never wanted anybody to touch me. But the one guy that I did have a one night stand with, what he did, we were making out and he reached, to take off my bra and I clenched up right away. And as soon as I did that, he looked at me and he stopped. We stopped

making out. And he said, if I'm doing anything, you're uncomfortable to slap my hand. I love that. That's great, right? And we'll stop. Because he can't show that he was like, it wasn't just about him. Yeah, because lots of guys would push through and just say, fuck that. Exactly, I'm like, exactly. Or they don't pay attention.

They could totally turn off. I didn't say, okay, I'm leaving now. Yeah, and they were like, you know, I don't want to deal with this crazy check. It's like, no, no, it's not crazy. She just wants to feel safe. Exactly, safe. I'm like, I'm present and that he's present too.

And whatever it is. I think so many men are afraid of getting shut down. And another reason is that they've gotten rejected so many times in their life. They go so fast. They go so fast. They're like, I'm afraid of getting shut down. And I'm paying attention to her. I just want to get her close up and get it in.

Right. It's like, so the hell down, foreplay is so important. We need foreplay to have better sex women. We can't go from zero to 60. Just because you walked in with a raging boner does not mean that we are, I didn't even see you here. Like, what you're in, you're ready to have sex with me. I'm not even ready to go another complaint We have is hygiene. That's why I'm gifting you both. Yes, I get down undercounfer. It's amazing. Right? Yeah, I love it

So I need a comfort and you go to emilytoney.com It is my new product down under comfort. It is basically a deodorant for your down-onders men can use it anywhere They sweat their balls women can use it down between their legs or lower back your breasts. It's how amazing it smells when you want to. It smells awesome. It smells awesome. If a guy smells like that. Yeah. He don't it's a citrus seed. Like a lot of men use talking powder. Carsten Jenik, it's. It's also very nice either because this almost has that scent where it's not a pat like it doesn't smell like baby powder but it smells like powder and there's something really really

with it drawing you in with that smell. Right. It makes me feel comfortable. And you want to play with baby. It's like a baby's bottom but it is. It is. It's cream to powder. It's not messy. Yeah, no, it doesn't feel like too little in your ear. It's a miracle. So that's my gift to you both. Thank you. Everyone to check out your podcasts. The Ask Women podcast, a podcast one. Yes, and iTunes. And iTunes. And subscribe because you will get it every Thursday to your phone and you will not have to worry about it. Exactly.

If you're on the flight or whatever. I love that. It's so easy. And I love it. And I love being on your show. And you guys are going to have to come back and get it in soon. And Marney is a Wing Girl Method,

sexily.com slashwinggirl. They can get some special gifts there. And your YouTube channel. Yeah, just go to YouTube. Go to YouTube.com. SlashwingGirl. They can get some special gifts there. And your YouTube channel. Yeah, just go to YouTube. Go to YouTube.com. SlashCount. No, see you next Tuesday's comedy on YouTube. I love it.

Okay, you guys are amazing. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you. And also I want to thank everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Check me out on Twitter and Facebook, Sex with Emily and Facebook and all that. And that's what we got for you. Subscribe to my show on iTunes is easy too. And go to Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening.

Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Good vibrations carries the hottest toys and vibes. I love the J.J. Mimi because it's discreetly powerful and great for couple of times. Find out how much pleasure your body can really handle. Use coupon code Emily for 15% off at sexofemlee.com slash good vibes.