Sex With Emily - SWE: How to Last Longer

Episode Date: March 30, 2013

Man's biggest fear: do I last long enough in bed? Well, if your partner has an orgasm in one minute it might not matter if you're a minute man. But let's be honest, that's probably not going to happen... Emily breaks down how to last longer in bed including pre-gaming, exercising your PC muscles, not having sex like a machine gun. And if all else fails, how to give her amazing oral sex.Emily explains how to be real with people you want to sleep with and why the last thing you should do is put them on a pedestal. Also, how to stop obsessing and get over your ex already!Please support our sponsors: Max4Men, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Max4Men. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys, can I see a question? How are your balls feeling right now? Are they super clean and dry? Does your partner complain or is not always willing to go downtown? If so, I've got something for you. I've just launched a new product called Down Under Comfort for my brand Emeline Tony. It's really unique. It's a cream to tap yoga powder formula that is designed to keep men fresh and clean

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Betruise they call them in a bygone way. Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend because my man E here He just got his heartbroken. He thinks you're kind of cute The women know about shrinkage isn't it common? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks and we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, I'm gone. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just playing with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything you need to eat. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out all of our stuff going on there because let me tell you, there's a lot happening at Sex with Emily. And the most important thing that you need to do is if you're a call to action, okay? I'm giving you guys a call to action, okay, I'm giving you guys a call to action, I don't ask you to do much, I give you a free podcast,

a few a week, you listen to me for a good time, hopefully a better sex, all I'm asking for you to do now is to go to the sex with Emily website and enter your email address because all I want to do is send you free stuff, okay, that's all I want to do. Send you free sex information sex toys if you want. Or, you know, not all the time. I'm not going to spam you. I'm just saying there's that you're going to win contests. There's great opportunities. And we never ever ever share our list.

So please, I'd love to be in touch with you. You'll get our newsletters, their chock full of videos and information. And it's not going to be like one of those annoying newsletters that you get where you're like, really? You're going to be psyched to get the sex with Emily Letter. So just that's why you got to do it. You also have to follow me on Facebook, sex with Emily and on Twitter, sex with Emily.

And the other thing, one more thing. Review us an iTunes, right? Menace, I'm here with my co-host Menace. Yes. I think that you should review us an iTunes all the time and say good things. If you hate the show, then forget I said it. But if you love the show, review us on iTunes. I was actually checking out the show today on iTunes.

That was funny that you mentioned that. And I suggest you listen to it on Stitcher, but you know, it's cool. Stitcher is an app that you can download and listen to the show for free, wherever you go in your car, on your smartphone or your tablet or your desktop. But iTunes is a good place too. I love, I know, but I love Stitcher, especially when I'm on road trips or when I'm well actually living in living in Los Angeles now, as you all know, I've moved to Los Angeles permanently. You're in your car a lot. They're not lying when they all talk about make fun of everyone

talking about the highways and the fastest traffic way to get everywhere because it's a friggin nightmare. And I'm not going to be one of the persons who are going to bore you complaining about LA traffic because that is just not good content. Yeah, I actually. But I'm going to tell you that I do listen to Stitcher, Winhem, and Traffic, and I love it.

Because you can get any friggin podcast you want in the world. Yeah, it's crazy. It's but it's been so long We haven't even talked to each other. Oh my god, that is and I have not talked to each other in a month. Okay, I'm That's a lot. I'm still in San Francisco and you're in LA So I know and it's really sad. It's really sad, but I still feel like we are one. We've been doing the show for nine years and we can just like I feel like I'm touching you now, menace. And I can feel your body energy and I'm getting really turned on. Oh, nice. I like getting. But you got so much going on. You're like on TV. You're on love line. What what the hell is going on with you? I know. This is another thing I have to tell you all that I'm very excited that I'm the new co-host of the long running Love Line radio show and you can watch it online actually.

You can watch it at LoveLineShow.com no matter where you live. And anyway, I am the new Thursday night co-host with Dr. Drew and Mike Cathar Wood and it's Drew Pinsky who's amazing and we take colors and it's really fun and hopefully it'll go to more regularly than that more days a week than one. So if you want to go to the love line page on Facebook because I know you're probably even on Facebook right now and right, Hey, get Emily Morse back on the show. That'd be awesome. You can do that too. Right, Menace? That'd be great. And I...

So anyway, I'm doing that. I'm doing that. I've met Mike and Drew many times. They're lovely. I know. Aren't they on them? They're off. Mike loves you. And it's like such a blast. And we all get along really well. We've got good energy vibing, we've got great collars, we answer your sex and it's a sex and relationship advice show that's been around since 84, when Dr. Drew did it with Adam Kirla.

So anyway, it's just a fun lesson. We had a band in that I never heard of men is I had to ask who they were. I, what I tell you every time, make sure you ask before and do some research research who was the band? You probably get to remember who they are now Looking it up right now because I'm going to the love line page of these people on oh my god I love having a computer during the show because I can look stuff up. Yeah, okay here it says oh the airborne toxic

Oh my god. You didn't know who they were. Is that bad? It is bad because they've they've had some pretty big songs and they I mean people know who they are. I'm actually... Okay, well the hot one, the hot guy who sat next to me the whole time and we took pictures together. Yeah, and like, you're like, you're like, I have no idea who you are What I had to ask the producer I had to I pull the producer side. I'm like, I don't know who they are So you're right menace. I should find out ahead of time and usually when I'm on the regular schedule I will know ahead of time that's that's funny. I know you that's the only thing I Isn't that the only thing advise? I give you only advice

That's the only advice men have gave me about going on love line is make sure that you do your work and find out who the guests are and I failed you terribly. We do not have guests every week. Mr. Skin, dude, Mr. Skin and I, we hit it off. You know Mr. Skin, right? Yes. Do we already talk about this? No. A little bit. You said you were going to hang out with him. He was a guest on the show. On Loveline.

And he and I have like a million friends in column and then he in common and then he emailed me after the show a few days later and said every person said they heard the show and they didn't couldn't believe that we knew each other because they're all friends of yours or friends of mine. We have a million friends in common and now we're Facebook friends and he's awesome. Nice. Yeah. Mr. Skin.com, everybody. Everyone, he like his life, like that.

Talk about like making your like life obsession. The thing that brings you the most joy in the world, your career and making millions of dollars. Mr. Skin finds every nude scene of every famous Hollywood actors, every nipple slip, every slip of any part of your body in a movie or television. Is it all movies? A movie. I only know it for movies. I don't know if it does TV. He finds the naked scenes and he basically his whole tagline is that he fast-forward to the good part. So if you have been like, I wonder what Natalie Portman

looks like naked. You can like go in, go on Natalie Portman and there's like all her naked scenes, right? Yeah. Anyway, that was fun and Dr. Jews awesome and I was also on Dr. Jews television show. He's got a show on HLN, which is the CNN System Network, which I go to the CNN building. It's really fun. And he has me on, but men is you're going to die about this too. So I'm just going to be honest with you right now,

because I'm sort of embarrassed, but I'm going to be honest. That there is this thing going on right now, which now I know all about it, but it's the Jody Arreas trial. Yes. Do you know about it? You know, God. Yes, go ahead. So a lot of people listening know about the Jody Arreas trial. She was a girl from LA who killed this her boyfriend from Utah in like stabbed him 29 times. She's been on trial for like six weeks. It's this huge case, there's kind of a sex crime because she talked about all the kinky things he did and it's crazy, but basically she killed him in cold blood, right?

Yes. So this network, HLN, which is a network that people know has been covering the Jody Arrays trial around the clock. However, I don't watch a lot of television. And I have a life. I don't understand how you can even like not see that. It's on the internet. It's in the, I mean, I read about it on the internet. I started on the internet, you know,

but I wasn't watching video. I don't know what the F. I started on the internet. I know that I wasn't watching video. I don't know what the F. You do all day. I freak out. I stress about work and how to you know like making things work and making a living. I did. I do that too, but I'm still able to. You can go Emley, Emily. This is television stresses me out. Listen, listen, this is all you got to do. Everybody, if you want to keep up on pop culture, this is all you have to do. Oh, men, this is good. You know this.

This is super easy. In the morning, when you wake up, you go to TMZ.com. You don't even have to read the Fing stories. You just read the headlines, scroll down, and you know everything that's going on that day. Then in the afternoon, I would say about five o'clock, like all you got to do is go on TMZ again, two F and minutes, scroll down, read all the updates on the stories that you read earlier that day, and you're done. You're done. You don't have to be doing it.

You sound like my brother. I know. I know. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. Whatever. I was I was in Hawaii, which I don't know. I think I don't know if I told you I was in Hawaii. No. I moved. I was really busy those weeks. Okay. Like, let me just let's just let me put in perspective. I'm not like living under a rock. I moved after 20 years of living in San Francisco. I packed up my entire life because I was only in LA trying it out three months. And I decided that I got all this work stuff going on. I'm just going to move to Los Angeles.

So I said goodbye to the city, not to menace though, because I was in a free and hurry, and I only did it in three days. And then I came back to Los Angeles. And then I took me, that was like a whole thing. And then I went to Hawaii. And then I was out of town again, and that's the point. So, okay, here's my story. I wasn't up on the trial, okay? I was traveling, I was doing whatever.

I got a call from the producer of the Dr. Drew HLN Show. I've been on his show before as a guest expert. And she said, have you been watching the Jody Rastral? Do you know all about it? And I'm like, yeah, I know about it. And she was, well, we need you to be on a panel on television tonight with a criminologist, a defense attorney, and a blah, blah, blah. And I was like, hmm, and I just got back from Hawaii, right?

So I'm like, hmm, and I move. And I'm standing around boxes. And I'm like, well, I'd love to be on the show, of course, but I don't want to be like not no exactly. I could sit here for the next three hours and read up on it and she was like, well, if we can't find someone else, we'll call you back. She calls me back two minutes later and said,

I just talked to Dr. Drew, he only wants you. So, I had to spend the rest of my day, so I spent the rest of my day joyously going through every single detail of the Jody a race trial So if anyone would like any information on that trial Come to me and I was on his television show that night Which is on four nights a week and I'm gonna be on regularly and I'll tell you all when oh my god If you follow me on Facebook or tweet Twitter, I will tell you And you join my friggin mailing list.

So anyway, that's what we're not on the name. It's cool. You never take my advice anyways. I'm just trying to make your life easier. What, wait, take my, your advice on what? On keeping up with the guests. Dude, I was googling the guests during the show. Yeah. All you got to do is go to TMZ or radar online and you'll know everything

it takes less than five minutes of your day. Then you don't look like a dummy. I know, I know, minus because you know, the last thing I want to look like is a dummy. I'm talking you. Um, another big. You're going to get caught. You're going to be on love line. You're going to get caught up. I'm just trying to protect you. Because they're going to be like, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I'm getting better. I'm getting better. I know. I know. This love line is like, why is my penis big enough? Okay, wait, let me tell you something. Today's show is about lasting longer in bed, speaking of penises. Okay. So that's the topic, because I love hearing from you all. Feedback. It's sexwithemily Emily.com email me, message me on Facebook.

I prefer email, but what abs? We're doing a show on this because even on love line, like we get the calls, like five a night, like why can't I last longer? My boyfriend doesn't last long enough, like seriously. So I was like, I know we've covered this, but this is a little different angle and we're going to get to that in a moment. What were you saying? No, no, listen to you.

My whole life will be better. You're saying listen to me and my life will be better. I know that, menace. No, listen to me. No, there is one other thing, real quick pop culture thing I want you to find out about because I'm intrigued by it before we go into lasting longer in bed because that's very important and I know a lot of people ask about it. But there is this whole thing with this actress Amanda Bines.

Yes, I've seen that. I want to know. She's crazy. I don't know. Is she crazy or is she just being real? Is my question. Now, if people don't know, Amanda Bines was this Disney star, right? And then suddenly one night, late at night, she tweets, I love black men, I quit acting. That's it. I love black men, I what? She goes, I love

black men and I quit acting out of nowhere one night. And she stopped acting right and then suddenly she's like totally just changed her whole look now she looks like kind of like a hood rat like super ghetto and like has like all these crazy extensions and now she has like piercings in her cheeks and now she tweeted the other day now Drake is a famous singer right he's this famous singer rapper she tweeted yesterday I want Drake to murder my pussy or my vagina okay okay now what kind of what kind of drugs do you think no no no maybe she's not on drugs maybe she that's that's who she really is and all this Disney stuff which is her being an actress Because look because look if some people while people say that oh she's out of her mind. She's crazy

But I'm telling you I there's like there's like hood rat people ghetto people that tweet stuff like that all the time and no one calls them crazy You know is it just because she was the next Disney character? Now she's all insane. I don't know. It's just sort of extreme like why I've been put out there. Like who the hell cares if you like black man and whatever. Like you know that like why is she feeling the need to like over express it? Like who doesn't like a black man? Whatever. I don't know. Like what's a big deal?

I mean, I get what she's saying like that. So anti to what you think I would think, it's just still young how old is she? She is in her early 20s. Okay so she's just it's just weird like there's obviously something strange going on that's not from the North like I get you're right maybe that's just her but then her is a little inappropriate socially because who cares if you like you know black men or indian men or gay men or straight men like what you're what you're stating if you're using the yesterday you didn't like black man well then I want to know why you didn't like black man yesterday.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just that's my whole thing but whatever. So okay what else pop culture do I need to know? No that's just something I'm intrigued with right now. And you're curious right email minus what your main is do you take emails from the common folk like I do it feedback at sex with m.e.com is not care no no no I mean people actually a lot of people hit me up on Instagram menace on Instagram or this oh right this is a big deal on Instagram yeah menace on Instagram or menace at Twitter that's where a lot of sex with Emily listeners hit me up at so okay and and and it's true and you should hit menace up there and you should listeners hit me up at. So. Okay, and it's true. And you should hit Meta's up there.

And you should also hit me up on Instagram sex with Emily. Yes, toad. Did you have, do you have any hot photos from Hawaii that you're gonna post on Instagram? I know, I'm not like, and I did look hot and I do have these amazing new bikinis. I'm gonna be honest.

Some ass photos. I'm not gonna be honest. I'm not gonna be honest. I'm not gonna be honest. I'm not gonna be honest. I'm not gonna be honest. I'm'm gonna be honest. I'm asked. But I don't have any of me in a bathing suit because it wasn't that kind of trip. Oh, it was more of a like, oh my god, I moved away. I don't know. No, okay. Be real because I was asking you know, when you told me when he said you said you're going, who I go which ex boyfriend are you going with? I know I went with the um I went with the guy. I know that was hilarious I was I was that was of course working from Hawaii like my first trip in forever

Except the one I went to Mexico recently, but then really before that my first trip in forever This was I was taken by some friends and December I went to Mexico with my ex-boyfriend, my current boyfriend, who I'm no longer with, and a big group. So this trip was like my future ex-boyfriend I was with. Oh, your future ex-boyfriend, okay. Yeah, and a group of people. Wait, sorry.

Are you dating somebody right now? I'm dating, yeah. What? I'm dating. Already. What? I'm dating already. Wow. Oh Sorry, I hope he doesn't listen the acts. No, I'm date whatever not heavily. No, I'm so busy, but I'm dating so many dudes I'm meeting so many guys. Yeah, I Really like it. I think it's because I'm new to the town and I'm looking and everyone's like don't you hate? Hey, ballet yet LA socks What I'm like LA's freaking awesome. It you hate to hate LA yet LA socks what I'm like

LA's freaking awesome. It's sunny nice people good looking people like what is the problem with Los Angeles because you You are just too naive You're a little naive Why am I naive? I think you see You just want to see the good and people which is a good thing i'm not holding that against you i think it might take you a little while before you see the bad

in people we're saying that i'm too paliana ish like everything's great everything everything's you know daisies and sunshine you know i see that i see the flaws but I feel like I'm having like a honeymoon phase with Los Angeles. Yeah. I live three blocks from the beach. I have my dog. We can go for a run on the beach every single day. It's warm. I mean it hasn't been it's gonna get only warmer. It actually has been really cold for

Los Angeles but cold for Los Angeles is like 60 degrees. And I have an amazing place, and I've met lots of interesting people, and the girls here are not only are they all super hot, and they're out that I'm superficial in care, but I'm constantly amazed by how hot and nice they are. Like I've met more girl, more new girlfriends, than I have even guy friends,

just like great amazing cool chicks. It's crazy. That I want you to come bang. Oh you've girlfriend. Yeah. Forget it. So excuse me. Yeah. Have you how many people have you seen walking around that just got no jobs because last time I was in LA I was at Barney's you know that clove cloveing store. Barney is where you know, that clothing store. Barney's is where I want to be buried, right, of course. So, you know, it's a high end clothing store, not that I think I'm rich or anything. But there was a bunch of girls that just freshly got some nose jobs done.

And I go, there's no effing way I would even be out in public. But I guess it's just a thing around there. It's crazy. That is the thing, that's crazy. I've seen a few nose jobs too, and I've seen a lot of boob jobs. Like, in fact, I am the only person who, I'm trying to think, like I notice that I don't have a boob job. Like everyone in my, I take a spin,

I've been taking a spinning a lot. They all have boob jobs. Here's another thing I have to tell you. Last night, during love line, I don't know, I've been taking a spinning a lot. They all have boob jobs. Here's another thing I've tell you. Last night during love line, I don't know, before love line, who said this? Oh Mike, Catherine Woods obsessed with my breasts. He's like, Emily, he's like, Emily, because it's cool, because it looks like you've got a boob job,

but you don't have a boob job, but they're like real, or whatever. And then on the air, he told me he masturbated to me three times. Wow, nice. And you kept telling people to look at the camera because you can watch it at lovelineshow.com or on live 105, where Manus works in San Francisco Bay area.

And anyway, the point is, it was funny. Why am I talking about boobs? Oh, fake boobs, my boobs are real. Let's get into the topic. I mean, I could talk to you forever, but people I do, it's sex with Emily, and you haven't talked about sex at all. But you know what?

Who cares, you guys? We've got good stuff to tell you anyway. Right, Ms.? Yeah, we're gonna talk about lasting longer bed. That's the topic, though, right? Lasting longer in bed, but I was going to read an email. Okay, read the email for. Or two or three.

Okay. Thank you for emailing me at feedback at sexwithemily.com. I've also answered a lot of your emails in my Q&A section at feedback at sexwithemily.com. I think it's called Q&A. Just go to sexwithemily.com, right? Dear Emily, I haven't dated anyone or been in a relationship in two years. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years when I started having feelings for another guy. It didn't end up working out with the other guy.

He dropped out of college. We were going to, and we were going to, and all of a sudden stopped talking to me and I have no idea why. And two years later, I can't move on from it. I want to date other people, but I can't get him off my mind. I really want to be together. How can I get past this since this guy will never ever speak to me again? All my efforts to get in touch with him

have been shot down. Vanessa. OK, Vanessa, here's a deal. You had the feelings with the other guy. he's a loser, he dropped out and noticed kidding, but a lot of people will drop out of college and all of a sudden he's have talked to me of a new idea why. Two years later you're obsessing about some guy that didn't really mean anything, not even about your acts but the guy after your acts that you dated for a few weeks or whatever

you said, listen to me, this is all conditioning. Often when we are stuck in our past and we don't like for whatever reason, you have to realize what this guy, whoever was, the college dropout is triggering in you. What is it bringing up for you? Why are you so attached to him? Are you afraid? Like he didn't pick me that I'm not lovable. You got to get in there and you got to figure out what is all about maybe need to get therapy if you're really obsessing about it But it's a rejection. So he rejected you. He probably did you a favor There are so many other great men out there for you to meet and By hanging onto this you're not gonna attract any of those men into your life at all Because you're carrying around this baggage of this guy that you dated for a little while

briefly that you thought because you're probably younger. I think you're young in the 20s maybe. You had a whole thing for you. You created a whole story around it that isn't true. So I would say Vanessa, you just got to get over it and you don't need to speak to him again. You said, how can I get you to speak with him again? You have to do all this healing work on your own. But I got it. I was in my, I used to be obsessed with guys and I work out with them not for two years, but you get obsessed.

You get caught up. It's okay, but two years is a bit long. What do you think, men? Yeah, just let it go. Just, just don't waste your time. People, you don't have enough time to waste and obsess about other people. That's, I mean, when you're younger, you don't get it, but when you get older, you're like, ah, you just go over quickly, you know what I'm saying?

Right, exactly. You just, yeah, you gotta get over. It's hard, the older you get, the easier it gets to get over, but really you gotta make a conscious effort. And you know what, Vanessa? I know this is, you know, not for everyone, but I always say you gotta get under to get over. So, nothing you got to get under another guy, but you go meet some men, go out there. Every day, talk to guy, even if you're out of track to him, just practice meeting new

guys, new people, bringing new energy into your life, you'll feel a lot better. And that goes for guys too. Guys, you just see it practice. Oh my god, they go for guys talking to women. Or, I mean, I don't know The girls can kind of pick and choose who they talk to you But guys like even if you're not attracted to a girl this practice talking to a girl Because when you get to a girl that you're attracted to you're you're much more comfortable

Talking to them, you know exactly exactly do you kind of do that right? Menace mean you had to get out of. I don't think he's still on floor. You couldn't talk to women. Yeah, I talked to anybody, man. I don't care if I think they're hot or not. Yeah. And the hot as they are. Have in game and confidence, like

talk to everybody. Yeah. You are comfortable anywhere. That's for men and for women. All the guys listening, you were like, why have night out late? I'm so tired of being home and like masturbating to myself or to Emily every night. Tomorrow, today, start today. Like go, you're picking up something at the grocery store and like talk to the checkout person for a minute longer than you normally would.

Who cares? Stopped to anyone. Yeah, no thing is like the hotter they are, the less I kiss their ass when I talk to them. Not that I'm being a total dick. So, God, menace has a whole theory about how they may and they all know they're hot. He's been rejected, what? Tell me. Not that I've been rejected. I'm just saying women that are attractive are used to men kissing their ass.

I know you love it because you love the attention, but I'm talking from the man's side and I'm talking to other men. When you're talking to a woman that's super attractive. Don't be there like melting and kissing their ass. They get that all the time. Just be real with them. Be straightforward with them. If you don't like it, there's something that you disagree with them with.

Don't be afraid to be, you know, to disagree. Just tell them straight up how you feel. Don't be a Superman. Don't be a Superman. If you should be like that with everyone, not just the hot chicks. Yeah. Because if you're sitting there and you're not talking to the hot chick next to you because you're so intimidated and you're spending an hour trying to think about what you're going to say to her, whatever, just say to yourself, like seriously, I don't care if you've to look at her and like see the face of your very best friend on her implanted onto her beautiful face with her long blonde hair and you see

your friend and that's who she is, she's your buddy. You're going to talk to her just like you're going to talk to all your friends and all the other dudes and all the other people in the room. Don't put her on a pedestal. Yeah, don't be comfortable with her. Don't be freaky weird, clingy, stare, stare at her all night and that's a word that doesn't work. Don't suck her dick, dude. Just get over it. Don't suck or dick. That's the From Manus. Okay, that's a direct quote. I love it. Okay. Dear Emily, I have a question about asking out friends. Well, the issue isn't actually pulling the trigger. I guess my question, what if we have a lot of mutual friends? How do I make sure I do it in a way? I don't mess up the group vibe. A little background.

I'm 30. She's 28. We've been friends for about seven or eight years. Never been told only see you as a friend, etc. Yes, I know she's into me more flirtatiously right before and after a bad break up. Also, side question for menace. Any tips on dealing with bad breakups besides the usual banging new checks? Please keep my please keep my anonymous and an in a bay and an enemy. That's one word I can In an in an enemy. Keep the anonymous as well. Thanks. Eat. Okay, so a menaceeal answer in a second. That's hilarious Like menace knows about banging new checks. I can't wait to hear where he has to say but The issue isn't you're saying how do you make sure I do it in a way

that I don't mess up the group five? You're a 30, she's 28, you and friends are seven, eight year years, let me tell you something. I'm the queen of not breaking up the, not in the beds about me, but I'm just telling you, if your vibe is tight, your group vibe is tight, and you've got good friends, and you're in your 30, she's 28, you're pretty much adults.

Now you're not like in your 20s, you're not in college. You could have a night where you try to kiss her. Like next time you're together, she's being flirtatious, like don't have like a conversation, like are we really gonna do this? Just because you want it to start from a hot place. So just like one night when it seems right, just like going for it, like be super flirty, give her a kiss, see what happens. If you guys hook up in the group, whatever, that'd be great. I don't think that then your friends will be psyched for you and be great. If it doesn't work out, if you are all really friends,

they're still gonna accept you and be your friend. Just don't be a weird couple and leave every like, once you get together and leave everyone out. As long as you're still friends and your group still has a good vibe, I wouldn't worry about it because this could be your next future misses, whatever you want. So I would go for it. I wouldn't worry about it because this could be your next future misses, whatever you want. So I would go for it.

I would not worry about what it could mean in the future. What if you're missing out on meeting the perfect woman of your dream, of being with the perfect woman of your dreams? I say go for it. What do you think, menace? I think he should. I think he should. Yeah.

It's, it's, uh, I always say this on the show you're not gonna die if you get rejected You know I'm saying right if you go in for it totally you're not gonna die nothing bad is gonna happen to you, you know So nothing man girls expect that you want to kiss them anyway like yeah, we do Do you just like oh my god? We try to give me a port like we don't we're not like oh he's tried to kiss me So now our friendship's all weird and funky like That doesn't really happen unless you're dating a loser. I'm just a chick's insecure and weird. What? Yeah. I mean, I've blown so many opportunities because I just didn't go for it in my lifetime.

You mean, menace? Menace is the poster child for blowing off opportunities. It's totally because I was just too afraid. I can admit it. And only one time, only one time in my entire life, have I gone in for the kiss and she wouldn't kiss me. And you know what, she had a good reason not kiss me, because she had a boyfriend and I knew she had a boyfriend. And that was bad of me. I was being stupid. And that's so that's a good thing.

And that isn't like that cute or anything. Yeah, I'm not like, I'm not just kidding. I'm not just kidding. And this is super cute. I'm not just in Timberlake or anything like that, you know? No, I would, I would, I would totally kiss Memphis. So anyway, I'm kidding. But, but what we're saying is, and this is true, there's been a lot of guys that I've

kissed just because they tried and then been like, into some, not into others, but I just kissed him because I'm like, oh, he's trying to kiss me. Yeah. Not that's a good thing to say. Maybe I should not always, but I like kissing. So sometimes you just, you know, we can call it, we used to call it like, oh, he's trying to kiss me. Yeah, that's a good thing to say. Maybe I should not always, but I like kissing. So sometimes you just, you know, we in college, we used to call it like, oh my God, I was just a kissing band at last night. Like I kissed three guys.

Like not that we're in college anymore. Kiss, not a big deal. Go in for the kiss. I'll we're trying to say is that the kiss is not a big deal. It's not right. Yeah, this time, even blow jobs are not even a big deal these days. It times have changed. I wish. Oh, no, blow jobs are a big deal. I have with. Don't blow him. I'm saying kiss him.

I wish we could go back. Kiss her in time. Back in time to where blow jobs were. What? You're hilarious. Okay. One more email and then we get into lasting longer in bed. All right. OK, because every man wants to. This is where we, all right. Dear Emily, I just started listening to your show about six months ago. I am 25. My fiance, my fiance is getting home from a four-month deployment next week.

And I'm wondering if you have any ideas on how to wow him in the bedroom when he returns. Our sex life wasn't jeopardy a bit before he left due to some lady problems that I was having. But that is all fixed now. We have tried using the butterfly kiss sex toy, but that is about as far as an adventure that we have gone. What do you recommend? I want to take this time apart as a fresh start and put on the steamy sex that I know that we both want. I don't want to be embarrassed or be weird, but I know if I can get past the first time trying

something new, it will really make our relationship and sex life rock. Any advice and what to do? This might things up. Love your show. Keep on rockin' it. Okay, signed Melinda. Okay Melinda, um, first of all, she talks about the butterfly kiss. Okay the butterfly kiss is like my new favorite vibrator. My new favorite sex story, it is you can get it at good vibes, good vibrations. Go to go to good vibes.com or actually I would prefer if you go to sexwithelm.com, click on the good vibrations banner. Use coupon code Emily, use coupon

code GV Emily 20, and you get 20% off a purchase of 100 or more. So anyway, that's a great sex toy, and I love when people, you know what it is? Like when dudes are like, dude, you love that, I don't know, team, I love that team. I'm like, she loves them with the same vibrator I do, like I'm down with her. Anyway, so she't know, team. I love that team. I'm like, she loves them with the same vibrator I do. Like, I'm down with her. Anyway, so she's asking, Melinda is asking that when her guy comes back, he's been serving her country. She wants to know, she wants to put on the steamy sex

that she both wants. She doesn't want to be embarrassed or weird. I would say that next time he talked to him, I don't know if you've ever done this before. Either, I don't know if you guys are writing letters right now or emailing while he's gone, but say what is your number one fantasy that you've had that we haven't done yet? And then I would provide him with something that you've been wanting to try. And I'm not talking about your crazy fantasy if you're having a gangbang. I'm talking about like, oh my God, I would

love to tie you up and perform all sex on you, give you a perform all sex on you, sweetie for six hours straight or whatever, or like I just want, and I wanna give you a massage, and then I wanna, what you wanna do to them, it doesn't have to be your fantasy, like describe a scenario that you wanna do, and I would, or ask what the fantasy is,

if he doesn't come back with anything, then I would say create a special night, because I'm just saying that's what a lot of guys have fantasies about like surrendering and especially because he's coming home from serving. He probably misses you a lot and you could have a night of just like doing something crazy for him and like taking care of him. You could also rent, you know rent a night away, say to friends of vacation home somewhere and I have a book called Hot Sex, over 200 things

you can try tonight. I'm not just saying this, because it's my book. You can buy it in Amazon. I think it's on sale right now for $13. And it friggin' has 200 positions, not just positions, but like fun scenarios, like playing dress up together, how to do a strip tease for him, all things that I recommend, by the way.

He probably has not been with any women in a very long time except for you since he's been gone and you got to spice it up. So men love costumes, laundry, whatever. My book hat sucks over two different things you can do right at night. You can just flip through it and you guys can have an amazing weekend and be like, I want to get through this entire book or something. That's what I recommend. Okay.

Oh shoot. Yeah. That's what we got. But men has to be ever go back to, um, okay, yeah. Anyway, that's, that's what you think. Well, yeah. No, I, I, I think that you gave extremely good advice. The thing that you said you want to go back to was. Yes, was I'm so mad. I'm so mad at myself. When he said, yeah, you want to know my advice. Menis, any tips on dealing with that breakups besides the usual banging new chicks, please keep my keep, please keep me anonymous. Some dude is asking me to advise them, sorry, I skipped that I moved on too quick. Go ahead.

The thing was just kind of like try to erase that person from them popping up in maybe your social media. You know, if you broke up with them and it was a, you really want to get over them, then don't follow them on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. You know, completely take this person out of your online life because it, so it makes it easy not to see them. And then also, you know, you don't wanna text them. You don't wanna, you know, if you think

that you're gonna go out and party that night, and you're gonna obviously think about them after a couple of shots of, you know, Patron. You might not wanna have that person's phone number in your phone, you might wanna leave it written down somewhere because you know, it's funny because people these days, they can't remember any phone numbers, I can't remember anybody's number and

So it would be good for you just to leave it at the house if you need it one day and then the other thing is Another thing is surround yourself with friends make sure you're active make sure you're not at home or You know just sitting around contemplating things go out out with friends, meet new people, I'm not saying you have to bang them, but just make sure you're out and about, you know, not slumming around and being sad. That's my advice.

Exactly. Other than banging other than banging other people, which I say you should just do. Manist thinks you should just bang other tricks, but if you'd like to not go that route, he's at other great, great suggestions. Thank you, menist. Yes. That was true. And I think also, yeah, I think everything said practice meeting new women like a bad breakup.

Like it feels so so bad. But let me just tell you this, if you employ like even two of those things that men have said a day or a week or whatever, because it's a lot, you're gonna feel so much better. And then like in a few months or however long it takes you or a few weeks or three days, you're gonna get to the other side. You're gonna be, thank God, I'm not with that bitch. Just kidding, not that she's a bitch, but you're gonna feel so much better that you do get to the other side. And it's also important when you break up

to look at what you're learning from it. So I know you have a lot of feelings, probably about why he didn't touch there, which we've already said you should delete her number, all that stuff. But then also, it's a really good, a breakup is a really good time to do with personal growth. It's a really good time to examine your life

and be like, what was my part in it? Because every relationship, it takes two to tango. What was your role? What was her role? Why didn't it work out? How do you want it to be different in your next relationship? So do that as well.

All right, then. Now we are moving on to lasting longer in bed. Because let me tell you something. This question is so common. I might want to know in my lasting too long, not long enough, usually they think they're not lasting long enough. And you know what? A lot think they're not lasting long enough and you know what? Lot of guys are not lasting long enough and by enough, I mean your partner is not having

Is not satisfied So you might ejaculate in one minute and if your partner has an orgasm in that minute and she or he or whoever you're with is fine and you're fine, we're all good. No problem. However, if you happen to, you know, not last as long as you'd like and it's a problem in your relationship. Maybe you're dating a woman and she needs 10, 15, 20 minutes to have an orgasm. She needs a lot more at whatever. So we're gonna talk to you out some tips. Do you ever have that fear of fear minutes? Do I last long enough? Oh? Yeah, of course. I mean especially when you're you're with somebody for the first time

And oh my god, I feel so bad for guys for the first time Yeah, because sometimes they're so excited. You know, they they put all this effort into it and finally this gonna happen and then They're overly excited and then it just lasts a short time and you're like, damn it. You might not have the opportunity to hook up with them again and then that's what they know you for the one-pump jump, you know? So a lot of it is so a lot of it is mental. I got to be honest. So for lasting longer in bed, okay, so we were talking about this in love line. This is, it is a very common question that comes up. A lot of it is in your mind, like you're thinking, oh my God, last time I came too quickly, I'm about to come,

am I going to come, am I going to come, and then you come. So there's a lot of people that just say, you know, use breath, like breath method and learn to breathe and get in touch with your body, but let's like walk through some common methods. Also, you can always get checked out by your doctor. You never know. There might be something going on, you know, it depends if you're really young guy and you're trying

and I don't know, even in an old guy, doesn't matter how old I don't care. It's, I just say it's good to get a check out once a year and guys don't like talking to their doctors about their penises or many I don't care. I just say it's good to get a check out once a year. And guys don't like talking to their doctors about their penises or many guys don't. And I don't know why the hell not. If my piece of equipment wasn't working, I would want to talk to everyone in the world about it.

So that's not working, but if it wasn't performing for me as I would like. So surveys show that most men don't believe they last long enough. So if your climax comes after a few minutes of in-course try using this tips. Okay, warm up. Menace, what do you like to call this? I like to call this. A little pre-gaming. Yes, pre-gaming. You got it, you know. Just like, just like you would stretch before a football game, you would warm up before sex. Yeah, I mean, you pre-game. I mean, mine usually involves a little bit of alcohol, but I'll let you say your piece first.

Right, right, right. Exactly. Menace, I'm sorry, menace always recommends alcohol, and I will, that is not the message. It's a theory. I mean, it's for the younger crowd. I don't know if the older gentleman can handle it, but I have a two-step program that you can do.

So a two-step program. First is, you pregame, which we're talking about masturbation before a big date, that you know that you're probably going to have sex with. Then you consume a little bit alcohol, I would say maybe a Captain Morgan spice rum would be nice, you know, nothing too crazy, nothing that's gonna make you totally tanked and out of it, but I once you've had those two combinations untone you, if you're a young bug, you can go forever

Because this can be a while before I can't believe I'm letting you talk that much I'm not saying you should drink alcohol all the time. No, I will not say what if you're not a drinker What if you drink too much like a lot of people do and they have blackout sex where they don't remember it because they're so god damn drunk So maybe I want you to moderate or moderate to, perhaps it's a little bit of work for you. So anyway, you can have a few drinks. Pre-game, you can masturbate before you participate in intercourse, so you feel like you can last longer. And you can also not masturbate to reach a climax,

so you can just masturbate to warm up. Also, you should wait a while before you penetrate your partner. No? OK. No way. You wait a while, you get your partner. No, okay No way You wait a while you get too excited Excuse me dude lots and lots of foreplay make sure you're giving her plenty attention So she's also warm and ready for you people. No, I mean that's good for that's good for her

But I'm not saying that's gonna make you last longer because you're gonna be excited and erect the entire time you're making out with her. But let's just say that you have not solved the problem yet and you're working on all these things I'm gonna tell you right now but you still are coming quickly. Make sure that you spend a lot of time in for play because if you give her plenty of attention she's also gonna be ready for you, you know, go perform oral sex on her, maybe she'll have an orgasm, and just make sure she's satisfied. This will at least delay your pre-agliatory penetration and increase the quality of your

sexual connection. So this is good all around. I don't care if you how quickly or how long it takes you to ejaculate this is key that you should always delay God damn penetration a little bit because women are not ready for your penis to be in their vagina at the time that you are. I'm just I'm speaking for a lot of men, I think, maybe not all of those, but many men just assume I am hard so therefore the game has started. And the woman does not even know that it's been kickoff, kicked off, what is that football?

You know what I mean? The woman doesn't even know that you guys are starting and the guy has a direction and he sticks inside you and we're not ready, we're not turned on, we don't see it. We need for play. Go to my website, enter your email address, go to sectionthelmy.com, enter Emily, enter your email address and you're going to get my free tips on all this stuff I'm talking about. How to please a woman and how to do a few things that I was just talking about. Anyway, for play, some for play tips that you never had before that will rock her world,

and you have to warm her up. Sorry, I haven't gone off on for play in a really long time. I know, you promote the hell out of it. Women can't go from zero to 60 like you can. Guys, your penis is ready to go, we're not ready. That's all I'm gonna say. I lost my train of thought there.

Okay, so for play. No one gets you off. So most men have a favorite position or a position where they most often ejaculate while they're having sex. So take notice of that. For example, let's say you usually ejaculate while you're penetrating her in the doggy style as we like to call it.

Maybe you should save that position for later, right? You wait, so you save that. Try letting her get on top or missionary position before ranging yourself in your ejaculatory position. So learn your body, right, menace? What don't you think? You got to learn what, what, what, where you get off and when you get off. Yes, of course certain positions to avoid. and you need to share that with your partner Right share the information No, what the hell you have to people just don't people just don't talk about stuff So you gotta you should be like no, that's that's what it is. Okay That's what the position is so I'm gonna wait and do that position

Work it out. Okay, this is very important. Oh, we first say okay work out. Here's one more thing. I gotta say Max this is just a separate thing that you can buy because it's awesome. Max arousal, is it exciting male sex pleasure gel? This will help you stay harder. Longer, the exciting male pleasure gel maximizes your enjoyment during sex because it is made with ingredients known to arousal penis

and increased male libido. The pleasure del gives you increased sensation and arousal. And here's the cool thing. It's paraben free, sugar free, fragrance free, and non greasy. And you can get max. That's the number four men. Dot com max for men. Use coupon code Emily 25 for 25% off your purchases. and let me just tell you something. And maxformen.com, number four, swear to God, I'm, I like you, go to my website and click

on the link. They have the coolest male products for sex that you have never seen before. They've got jealous, they've got, they've got like, the rousal jealous, they've got like, and they've got stuff that will blow your mind. So just check out Max for a man. Okay, that's what I say about that next tip. Okay, dude, I have an goddamn iPhone app about this. This is another way that you can last longer in bed.

Your peggle muscles, you've got to strengthen your PC muscles. Now let me tell you something, it's like you go to the gym and you work out your muscles every day and you're like, oh, really strong bussets. But if your PC muscles. Now let me tell you something, it's like you go to the gym and you work out your muscles every day and you're like, oh, really strong bussets. But if your PC muscles are puny and you don't work them out, you've got a problem and I will tell you, you wanna know what the Kaggle muscles are,

they think that they're for men, these exercises. It is those peace stopping muscles. So you know when you stop and start the flow of urine, when you are peeing, that is the muscle. So if you isolate that muscle and you tense it and you hold it for five seconds and you relax it and you do that five times a day, okay? The more stamina you will have during intercourse.

Now here's your lucky day. I have an iPhone app called Kegel Camp and it's so purpose on the planet is so your penis will stay harder longer and you'll do these exercises. It pops up on your phone, it says, it says time for Kegel Camp and it's my voice, my lovely sweet, relaxing voice, sexy voice. No, I don't know what you think of my voice, but it walks you through the exercises. So you'll have a reminder, because no one, your doctor will tell you to do kettles,

but you don't remember. So it reminds you on your phone, no one has to know you're doing them, and you can just sit at a traffic light for five minutes and do them and improve your sex life. I do them every day, and my orgasms are so much stronger. PS. That's what I gotta say about kettles.

Kettle camp and the iTunes store. Get it. Get it. Okay. The Start Stop Method. This is the Trident Choose Start Stop Method. It can help you teach yourself, eject the Tory control and helps you last longer. While masturbating, stimulate your penis

until you feel ready to orgasm then stop. Why the torture by using this method you're finding your point of no return. You find see you find that moment before orgasm. So by doing this exercise, you're teaching your body and mind to be comfortable with a heightened sense of arousal. So you learn to where you get where you're about to go over when you're masturbating. And you know what? I'm sorry.

These exercises are not fun. You don't want to sit in your bed and masturbate, but not have an orgasm. I got it. But do you want to last longer in bed? What's the answer to the question? Yes? You do?

OK, good. So you got to do these exercises. Have you ever done this exercise, Menace? The star stop method? No. Yeah. I got my own. Right. Because you don't have a problem the

Patron method. You don't have that's a problem but you you this is not an issue for you. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. It makes sweet love. Do not have sex the same way you masturbate. You know you masturbate and you do those quick thrusts and a finish and it won't help the situation. It's like a machine gun. It's like a machine gun. Do not have sex like a jack rabbit machine gun. That's all I gotta say. Don't. Take time exploring the whole sexual cycle.

You gotta slow it down and work on different thrusting techniques, okay? Don't have sex like you're using your partner as a replacement for your hand. And there are so many rodogenous zones on the female body. Just enjoy the sensuality that sex can create. Give your partner an erotic massage and learn to know the back of her knees. Do you know how many women I talked to?

I just wish you would touch the back of my knees. It's like this joke with women. Here's an inside joke with women. Because we want a guy to explore our entire body. Not that my knees are going to give me a mind-blowing orgasm, but it feels so good when you run your hands and you explore entire body and you don't just whip out your penis and try to stick it in my vagina. So that's what you should do is enjoy her body.

So those are my tips. How about that, menace? I agree. How are you? Good. Thank you for being with me today. I miss you. I love you. Oh I wish to be in Los Angeles very soon with you Yeah, dude. Can we just talk you've been here like eight times when you go to goddamn busy land

I Fly in sit Orange County you're in Los Angeles Dude, it's like an hour away from here. I know. I'll pick you up. I'm here. I'm here. I love you more than anyone. I care about you and I'm just I'm just but I got it I'm busy. You're busy. Whatever. Come visit me soon and I got a new apartment in Venice. I got a new apartment. Whatever. I'll tell y'all about later I love you. Okay, everyone. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Okay everyone, thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Remember, go to my website and to your email address for some cool stuff that's going to

change your life. You can follow menace, he's menace everywhere on the planet, I am Sex with Emily. And thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. Check out my new vibrator store at sexwithemily.ovvo.com to check out vibes as low as $15 from the Germany company Ovo. That's OVO.

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