Sex With Emily - SWE: In a Relationship or Single?

Episode Date: February 13, 2014

A show on why it’s great to be in a relationship or single on Valentine’s Day. It’s a perfect night to go out and meet someone, or stay in and have sex with someone you love. In case you’re wondering, you definitely count as someone you love. Self-love is one of the most rewarding things in the world. Masturbate your night away! Emily shares her best and worst V-day experiences, and what made them special or subpar. Her best V-day was in the third grade when her classmate gave her cash for Valentine’s Day.Use coupon code EMILY for 15% off at Good Vibrations: http://bit.ly/19rLghs. Use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off at crazygirlproducts.com and coupon code EMILY for 20% off your first purchase at Emilyandtony.com. Check out my new vibrator store: www.sexwithemilyovo.com/.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com. We can list to our podcast, Center for mailing lists, RSS feed, find out how to find us on Facebook and Twitter. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

I'm here with men, this is our special Valentine's Day show. I know, I'm excited. I actually like Valentine's Day. You do? I do, because my mom's Day everyone. I'm here with menists our special Valentine's Day show. I know I'm excited I actually like Valentine's Day. You do? I do because my mom's a prize Valentine's Day was always a big time in the year bigger than Christmas your mom's a florist We've gone over this My mom's a florist my grandmother my grandmother makes wedding cakes so they want me to get married You know oh my god you have to get married Yeah, ever since I was a little kid though.

And then this is the best part about Valentine's Day when your, your mother is a florist in high school. She would force me and I think her now. She would give me like two giant bags of single roses and I would just give them to all the girls. Oh, that's sweet. That's sweet. We used to do that in high school where they had like carnations and you could pay a dollar

and then they would deliver it to people and then like some girls like the pom-pom girls would be walking around the cheerleaders with tons of them and then some with other, you know, I used to get a fair amount. And you would exchange little cards too. No, like hey, heavy Valentine's Day. It's fun, I love Valentine's Day. Yeah, I am mixed on it. I mix on the pressure about Valentine's Day because I feel like,

what kind of pressure do you have as a woman? Well, that's okay. That is a great question. I think that that's what we should discuss. You're going to get it up. Maybe that's the right answer. Are you supposed to, or do you think that Valentine's Day

is just for men or women as well? Like when you're dating someone, do you expect, let's say you're with someone for six months. Yes. Do you expect her to give you a Valentine's Day present? I never expect the woman to give me a Valentine's day present. So you're not bombed if she doesn't.

No. Okay. I believe it's all about the woman. It's all about the woman. Yeah. I think it's kind of about both. I think if you're with somebody, you should give them both. But here's some ideas for Valentine's Day.

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including toys, lingerie, menace, your favorite, and a seemingly endless selection of adult DVDs. You can surf by like porn for women, porn for men. I think this is a great way you can do your one-stop shopping and they'll have they have fast free shipping in your entire order and you get a free DVD and other free gifts. So 50% up one item, a free romance kit and free shipping if you enter offer code Emily EMILY at checkout at Adam and Eve.com. So I think that I think that if I am going to get a present for Valentine's Day from somebody, I would like something sexy and romantic. I don't need like a new, queezanart or something. Do people still use those? What's a quesanart? My mom used to use it. They're like for the kitchen. Like I remember one time one year my friend got like a blender and she was really bummed out that our husband got

her blender. Why would she get a blender? I don't know because she wanted one but it just wasn't sexy. So I think that every day should be my whole thing is that every day should be a romance like you should try to make every day Valentine's Day. So if we have one day of the year, that is just about sex and romance, like play it up. If you're with somebody, get them a sex toy, get them a, get them linger. It sounds cheesy, but this is the time to do it because I get hundreds of emails from everyone saying that their sex life is stagnant or you're not having sex anymore.

If you've been together with someone while make that night sexy do something different you know a toy watch a porn together try new sex move rent a hotel room for the night do something fun for Valentine's Day stay at the W stay at the W my favorite you love the W yeah I know I think the best one I did when I was dating a girl long term I took her to New York for Valentine's day that's really nice I've never had a spush. I can't I don't have any memorable grant in my memories Not that great as you know, but I don't think I've had a Valentine's Day that really sticks out except for when I was in Third grade and they were giving out Valentine's I remember this one guy Chris everyone you had to remember you had to give everyone in class those little like Valentine's

Did you do that in the criminal boxble box he gave me a dollar valentine. I remember it said it was a dollar on the back It was huge and then he stuck a dollar bill or two dollar bills in it And I was like I was like a third grade and I was like all right Chris Game with two bucks. I'll never forget that and I'm sorry to say that I don't have any great valentines These stories since then that I remember not that I don't have any great Valentine's Day stories since then, that I remember. Not that I've had bad Valentine's Day. I just don't remember anyone being like swooping me off my feet and making this amazing day. But I think it should happen. And that, you know, just do one thing, one thing.

Don't make it a whole thing. And I don't think that people are like, oh, candy's flowers. It's cheesy. That's why it be what she wants. You have to get them flowers. Do you think? Well, you get them for free. You have to get them flowers. Do you think? Well, you get them for free. You have to get me flowers. I love flowers. Can your mom get me flowers? My mom's out of state now. I can't get them. You don't talk to her enough.

I do. I talked to her today. Do you get your mom a Valentine's Day present? No. Card? No. No. When you were little did you? I did when I was little. Yeah, I believe when I was little because you had time to make them in school and stuff like that. Yeah, that's true. So this yeah, I believe when I was little because you had time to make them in school and stuff like that. Yeah, that's true. So this year do you avail in time?

I don't. But I, for some reason this year the Grammys is on Valentine's Day. Oh. That's where I'll be at the Grammys. Oh, okay. So maybe I'll take a date. Maybe you'll meet someone there. Maybe I'll take a date.

I know a lot of girls in Los Angeles. What ever happened to the chick that you asked out? Do you guys ever reschedge? Yeah, remember I told you, you don't remember anything. You rescheduled and you went out. Is that one and Oee hung out and watched a hockey game? Do I have a problem? Yes, you do have a problem.

I have like early Alzheimer's or something. You don't care about my love life. No, I do care, but you know what happens? Being on the show, doing this is like a vacuum bubble. Yeah. And I think that things that happen in here, unless I listen to the show after, which I do sometimes, I don't always remember. How come I can remember?

Because I have problems. Because I've got serious issues. Yeah. And I'm here and I'm fully present and then I leave and then I shut it off. And I'm sorry. And I just, I don't know. You forget all about me.

But you know, Valentine's Day, you shouldn't feel bummed either. Because I feel like Valentine's Day is a day if you're not with someone on Valentine's Day. We got a lot of single people listening to the show that if you should do something that you for yourself. So here's something I'm going to propose. Buy yourself something sexy and romantic that makes you feel good. Masterbait, go home, take a bath. Sex was someone you love, masturbation. It should be about love. And I've got some tips here, you know, for people, I'm not, I'm

you already know all the things that I think you should do for Valentine's Day because I talk about them all the time about spicing up your relationship, doing one thing different in the bedroom, one move that's different, just give her a little more for play, please. I can't tell you, you know, like if you're not so into for play, like do something just different, make prolong the experience undress her slowly, do something like that. However, there are some benefits to being single on Valentine's Day and I've got a list here of some benefits for being single. Save me money.

Save you money. I mean, because Valentine's Day is all hype, so if you're single, I say do something for yourself. Buy yourself a vibrator. Buy yourself, take yourself to dinner. See you friend, go to movie. Well, that's what I was gonna suggest is Every time I didn't have a Valentine. I'm just hanging out with all my other friends that didn't have Valentine's and then we're cool

But let's say you move somewhere and you don't know anybody Go out. Don't stay home. It's a great night to go out It actually all the single people are out on Valentine's Day because yeah because they're not a date So the people are in a date don't want to sit home, so everyone goes out. And in fact, I had two people email me, two listeners email me and say they met somebody on Valentine's Day.

So that's what you should do. You know how many girls out there are just gonna slutt it up from the night just because, exactly, because it's Valentine's Day. Last year I was MCD, last year I MCD this lingerie fashion show. Do you remember that? No, you don't remember anything last year. I wasn't around last year with you I'm about time dude. We've been around with each other for years. I know

You didn't get me anything. I Course. Well, why would I get you some? I don't know. Could you love me? Yeah, true, but I don't know why I want to get you anything for Valentine's day. I know it's fine. It's fine. Okay, so here's some benefits to being single. This in case you're single. The first one, I think, is obvious. And I love this because I prefer to be with no one on the holidays or Valentine's day. There is no pressure. No pressure. When you're part of an awesome Valentine's day,

you got to make a bold romantic declaration of your feelings where there are expectations. There's a risk of reality falling short. What if you buy the wrong color flowers? What if he hates the meal you cooked? It's a day that's supposed to be full of dreamy quality time Can turn into something stressful so you got no pressure I found I'd say just go out that night do something for yourself It's like even on like the holidays like when I or my birthday. I like try to buy myself something Like I feel like you should celebrate yourself because no one else is going to so it's okay

I think it's always better of be single, like make it about loving yourself. Yeah. Well, also I don't want to date anybody that expects a lot on Valentine's day. I rather people that like it low key, even though I am going to do something and I, whatever I do, will probably be awesome. But I don't want them to expect something because that does add the pressure that you're going to let them down Exactly, there are a lot like I even heard this woman today

She's been married for years and she's like well as long as as long as he gets me a card I'm happy, but he better get me a card and I'm not even like that. I guess if I was with somebody I don't think I've been with anybody on Valentine's Day for several years for some reason I mean not that I haven't had relationships But they've always been like before after Valentine's Day, been on during, but even when I am in a relationship, I don't think that I expect anything.

I don't usually have expectations of men in relationships at all, which is probably a problem. I really don't. And I would be happy. I guess I'd be like, oh, that's a little weird Valentine's Day passing, you didn't get me anything, but I don't think I'd be bummed and I don't have expectations of anything grand,

although I did have this guy that I've been dating for a month ask me to be as a Valentine That's cool because it's the timing so do I have to do something for him. It's been a month Something a little bit like what I don't know nothing crazy. It's only a month. Okay. I'm gonna I actually know what I'm gonna do It's timing it's gonna be sexual. I screwed up and I got with some chick like a week before Valentine's. What'd you do? I didn't really do anything and what sucks is she did all this stuff for me. She did? Yeah. Did you dump her after? Because it was too much. No, no, no. We dated for like two years. Oh, you did? Yeah. But I felt so bad because you did

all this stuff and I did like nothing. What she do? She got me like my butt. She gave like what? Man, it was so long ago. I was in high school. I can't. Oh Your high school relationship my high school relationship. Well it lasted outside of high school. Right. Okay. I think that I'm trying to think the best that I can't even think I just think whatever just do something but just do I think a car is fine think about what they like think about something sexy But this guy that I'm with this guy that I'm dating he likes lingerie So I thought you're gonna get him some nice laundry. No, but he I think you but like me and lingerie

But you know what it the thing is I don't have any really What you think that I would so I should go buy some maybe that would be my present to him is me in lingerie. That's a good present Yeah, I guess if he's into it. Okay. Here's the other thing about benefits being sing on valentine say I'm just picking out loud. I'm thinking I love I'm gonna get myself something sexy. Yeah, then I mean I have laundry, but I'm gonna stick of it. It's old. I need to do the laundry Still about yourself. I don't think it's a cool yet. But I am going to look hot. Yeah, see, that's a problem.

Chicks just think that's enough. It is for the men. That's all he needs. No, man. Why don't you do something cool? Okay, benefits being single, man. I say, few expenses, all of those expected gestures cost money. If you're on your own for cupid's big day, you can bank on some saving serious cash. True singletons, my child, dope for some movies or a few cocktails, but that's far less

expensive than, say, necklace or fancy dinner. So, few expenses, just like Christmas, my boyfriend, same thing. I love that. Because look, you got to buy flowers and roses, Jesus Christ. They're like $60 around Valentine's Day. Are they really? Yeah. 60 bucks. And then you got to take them to dinner. Right. I do not want to go to a nice dinner on Valentine's Day. Are you not want to be a restaurant with all the couples posing like, oh, we're out to a nice dinner because that's what we're supposed to do. So I'd rather stay home

and have like a sexy evening. Like, if I'm really into somebody, I want to have an evening where like I come in and like, my dream, I don't know what to say. Okay, so I walk in, I listen to him in his house and he, like, maybe he makes me dinner. Because that's romantic. I'd rather have a guy make me dinner.

Okay, I don't even care if he carries in. He can carry in from whole foods or something. What kind of dinner? Maybe some chicken. Chicken. Okay. I don't even care if he carries in. He can carry in from Whole Foods or something. What kind of dinner? Maybe some chicken. Okay. I like chicken. Nothing around chicken. He has a dinner. He has some wine, some champagne maybe. Doesn't have to be champagne. Wine. And he made a dinner and there's candles. I love candles setting the mood. I'm such a chick. And then he makes dinner and it's hot. And, and then we make have dinner together and we have in serious and depth talks about things that are really just kidding. And now that's where you lost me. I want to talk about the state of our relationship.

Oh, no kidding. And then I'm wearing something sexy and then we have sex that's amazing sex, meaning there's lots of four foreplay which we're talking about our next show Some foreplay tips because I think you could never have enough and I think it would be just like this long drawn out sexual like I think there'd be some teasing involved Yes, you know what I mean by that. Yes, like I think you don't don't rip off my clothes right away Like if I'm wearing something sexy like appreciate it and like we'll fool around, we'll kiss, we'll make out, touch me, and then slowly take off my clothes

and then appreciate me. And then we can have sex. Maybe good music is that lame? That's why I like. Okay, you just gotta promise me in one part. What? Since we had that conversation beforehand, after we have sex,

we don't have to have another conversation. No, no talking, no talking, no serious, I'm calling only kidding about the conversation. I am not the chick who ever brings up the relationship talk. But a lot of people do. But I'm just not the one who's like, like, can we define this relationship right now? What it means? I'm not that girl. I never am that girl.

If you have to ask that question with me, then we're not in relationship. Right. If you have to say, what's the state of our relationship? You don't. Clearly, there's no state. There, yeah, there is not in relationship. Right, if you have to say what's the state of our relationship, you don't. Clearly, there's no state. There, yeah, there is not. Exactly. Okay. Another benefit to being single. Less faked enthusiasm. The truth is, some people just aren't that jazzed about candy hearts

with sayings on them are pink and red decorations. If done wrong, those colors can totally clash. Yet, if you have a significant other, you have no choice but to pace on a smile turn the sweet sweet and that things up a notch and act like you totally think the heart shaped lace doilies on the table are adorable and you're much easier to be honest. So there you go you have to. You don't like candy? Less fake. You don't have to fake it and be like oh it's Valentine's it mean there's a certain forces like like it's like new years. It's like New Year's Eve. Oh we go out. We got to spend a lot of money and everything's more expensive. That's why I say you can have your, and make it at home

Valentine's Day. That's just as romantic and sexy. Right? No, I totally agree with that. Maybe I'd watch porn with this, my, on my, on my fantasy Valentine's Day day. Maybe we'd watch some, like, good porn together. Yeah. Some like 3D porn. Yeah. Do you ever watch porn with chicks porn together. Yeah, some like 3d porn. Yeah Do you ever watch porn with chicks? No, you don't like porn. No Do you I think you do but you don't tell me? No, don't I swear. So how do you masturbate? How do I master? What do you think about like do not are you reading are you reading literature? No, I don't do that. Are you flipping through?

No, I don't own of like a so when you masturbate when you masturbate. Yeah, is it all in your I'm asexual you're visualizing are you visualizing about a recent experience? Always Okay, recent experience or just an experience this past experiences past experiences So not not not unknown not like that hot chick. I saw walking down the street. Yeah, I'm not like Masterbiting to like Olivia Munner or anything like no Oh my god, it's so funny that you say that because we got tons of emails about Olivia Muns since you mentioned her walking down the street. Yeah, I'm not like masturbating to like a livea month or anything like that. No, oh my God. It's so funny that you say that because we got tons of emails about a livea

month since you mentioned her. Dude, she's so hot. She is hot. But you're not. You're not going to the celebrity. No, no, no. Right. Me neither. Me neither.

It's more about like a past thing that happened. Yes. Okay. That's fair. All right, you have more free time. If you're alone at Valentine's Day, the aforementioned gifts and activities that make for wonderfully romantic Valentine's Day require planning a lot of it If you wait too long the restaurant won't have any tables available the flowers will cost three times as much

Making Valentine's Day happen means strategizing ahead of time Well all the solo people out there are relaxing carefree. That is so true. So true carefree relaxing not having to worry about the stress of planning Valentine's day But if you are planning it Like I said try to do something it doesn't I think that people get stressed out like oh my god But like I wonder if this guy that I'm dating He's since he asked me to be his Valentine's day via text a few days ago. He's like were you have Valentine? And I said sure Do you think he's planned like is he thinking he's stressed? Like I don't hope he's not stressed about it because I don't really care

I just think something Romantic that night. Yeah, I just mean she's confirming that you guys will be hanging out on February 13th 14th. I was 14th. Okay. Oh Yeah, okay, everyone sorry. Sorry didn't clarify that Valentine's Day February 14th. Oh really? Yeah, you didn't know that. I always forget. Okay, then so I will be in town Valentine's Day crap. Yeah, when you were staying in the Grammys, the Grammys are on Sunday in Valentine's Day's Monday.

Dammit. But you don't have a girl, do you? No. But some of you hit me up. Somebody hit me up. Somebody hit me up. Okay, and number five, more butterflies. Valentine's Day is a great day to meet someone.

This is the point we made earlier. After a few Saint. Valentine's, you might find yourself making out with the howdy who caught your eye across the bar. Well, you get in there to butterflies and when you banter that comes with meeting someone new, steady couples are going through the motions of getting it on. That's not true. If you're a steady couple, you don't have to go through the motions, you can self-gradesx. But anyway, after all that effort they put into the night needs to pass somehow. It's comfortable, we're not steamy. It's fun, but it's not expected. Therefore, things are much more exciting on your own. Don't you almost feel bad for your off-the-market pals? There is true. There is some truth to that. That when you're in a committed relationship,

and my friend who's been with her husband for eight years, she called me the other day and she said, she went to Mexico with a group of girlfriends. And she said, you know what I realized, Emily? I realized that I'll never, and there group of girlfriends. And she said, you know what I realized, Emily? I realized that I'll never, and there was like some cute guys she met, nothing happened obviously, but she was like, I realize that I'll never have those butterflies again, that that is something that I mean,

she loves her husband and they're happy, but you don't get butterflies anymore. And that newness of meeting someone new and exciting at the bar or wherever party, that is fun. That's addictive. The newness excitement, don't you love it? Meeting someone new in the butterfly exciting at the bar or wherever party that is fun that's addictive the new NIST excitement don't you love it meeting someone new in the butterfly should

be kids the first make out she's never gonna have a first make out again she misses it I mean I get it but when you remember me I'm old school I when I commit to somebody that that's gonna be the person to be happy with yeah be happy with. Yeah, but you miss the butterflies. So just go out and have butterflies. I think everyone if you're single, you should go on mail and say bye yourself. About recreating butterflies. Don't we? Yes, we do. Oh, honey, even listening. Yes, see, you can recreate the butterflies, but it's not the same as someone new. But you can. And a lot of times to recreate the butterflies, you have to

like go back in your mind and do pull memories and like really visualize how you used to feel or Get out of your normal routine rent a hotel room. Yeah, go to the W Do you know it's funny? There's some commercial on now Kind of talking about the first thing With I think it's a gum commercial where it says that in the average lifetime, people will have 28 first kissles. First kisses. I'm so tired. I really meant to smooth today. 28 first kisses. Yeah. That's it. I've had so many. I've had 28 first kisses last year. The average versus the average person, the average person, people that don't get out in like Montana or something. Right. Exactly. Not that I'm talking Montana. I visit Mizzula, Montana or something. Right, exactly. Not the same. That I'm talking Montana. I visit Mizzula Montana many times.

Email me. What do I say? Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. I want to tell you about one of the amazing sponsors that is help keeping sex with Emily free to my listeners. Permancent is the world's first and only FDA-approved treatment for premature ejaculation. Permessant ensures many women can enjoy the journey, just as much as the destination, and with a staggering one-and-three-men suffering from this medical condition, this really isn't something to joke about. Previously, the only treatments for this very real and often unspoken about sexual disorder were antidepressants or numbing sprays, both of which come with some awful side effects.

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