Sex With Emily - SWE: Like a Virgin

Episode Date: August 24, 2012

Emily's inbox has been getting swamped with emails from virgins of all ages lately, so today's episode is dedicated to helping them join the coital club, laying out what they can expect and how they should enter this new stage in their love lives. Virgins' partners get advised too, to make their lovers' first times magical. Or, at least, less awkward than their own.Emily weighs attending Burning Man and Menace prepares for Wedding Season. A listener wonders how to find men into bondage. Another doesn't know how to ask out a waitress. A British couple is making everyone on earth throw them weddings, a new blog broadcasts creepy OkCupid come-ons, and Todd Akin thinks women have magic in their wombs.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Better relationships equal better sex. St. Clair Institute, the leader in sex education products for adults, has been saying it for over 20 years. I've seen some of their DVDs and I highly recommend them. Find St. Clair's ad on my products page on my website, sexwithemily.com, and say 50% off any one item when you put an Emily 50 at checkout enjoy the show I promise your sex life will improve

Hey Emily you got a boy drink? Because, uh, my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Avaline? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Avaline's not the kind of girl you just play with. So, being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can get all of your sex questions answered and relationship issues and whatever is going on in your life,

I promise you that a little visit to sexthelmy.com will change your life. Happy Friday, everyone. Happy Friday everyone. Happy Friday Emily. What the heck is going on with my microphone? I don't know, but today's show is a special show. We've got a lot going on on today's show. It is the Virgin show. But if you're a virgin, doesn't mean you should not listen to this show because we're giving

you lots of tips. We're giving you lots of tips. We're giving you lots of tips. We're giving you lots of tips. We're giving you lots of tips. We're giving you lots of tips. We're giving you lots of tips. We're giving you lots of tips. We're giving you lots of tips. We're giving you lots of tips, which great airlines. But I'm telling you, I had a flurry of emails from virgins, from old virgins, young virgins, people who are dating virgins.

So I thought we should give some tips to people, but they're actually universal tips that you can use for your sex life. And then we're also gonna be reading the emails that you sent to feedback at sexbelly.com, covering a wide range of topics today. And we had a contest sponsored by Forda. We have a new contest actually.

A new contest sponsored by Forda online. And that is what is your biggest turn on or turn off? Email me feedback at sexathetemy.com or you can find me on Twitter or Facebook, sex with Emily. The prize we're giving three people, each one 10 pack of Florida for men and women. Now what is for you're thinking? It's not just for

people of issues with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. It's for an enhanced sexual experience. For men, it's a new fast-acting all-natural, sexual enhancement product that makes the most of your natural potential. It's a hundred percent organic and will not lead to addiction. And there's also Florida for women, enhancing desire, orgasms, overall sexual appetite. So what you got to do is you got to email me what's your biggest turn on or biggest turn off and we're going to pick winners, a few winners and you'll win some for now. That's what I got to say. Hi, Matt. How you doing? I'm good. How you doing? I'm doing great. Yeah, it's I'm excited for the weekend. I'm not really doing a whole bunch

I'm planning on I'm actually obsessed with Labor Day Because that's coming up and I don't know what to do like I feel like I have all these options, which I'm lucky But I don't know what to do like I feel like I might want to go to Burning Man Which is this huge festival in the desert every year in Nevada Which a lot of Californians and people from all over the world go to, about 60,000 people run around and build art and some are naked, some are taking drugs. It's a party. You're not gonna go. But then if I don't go, what am I gonna do?

Have a staycation? Just stay in San Francisco and hang out. Is that what you're doing? Well, I'm screwed. I gotta go to a, I gotta go to a wedding. Oh, but it's right. You have a wedding. You like 16 weddings coming up. I know, it's ridiculous. But this weekend, I think I'm just gonna lay low and what, I don't know. No, you should go to Burning Man.

You want this fine, somebody take you. I know, I know. And I actually want to fly there with a friend who flies to Burning Man. So that's fun. But I'm sure if you've even heard a Burning Man, go to BurningMan.com or something, you'll understand, but you've heard of it. It's totally for this show. It's total like research and no, just people this banging in the middle of the

lot of sex, but I didn't see that when I went. I didn't see a lot of sex, but I know there's tons of people. People people are dressed up like in crazy costumes, riding bikes through the desert. They build an entire city writing bikes through the desert, they build an entire city for a week or two weeks and it looks like a city. It's insane. It's insane. So I might do that. This weekend, I'm not sure. What do you and would you do a wedding this weekend? This weekend, I do not have a wedding. This weekend is another work weekend. It's gonna much work done. You're just working. That's what I do too. It's good times. Yeah, there's lots of work going on at Sex Thumbnail.com. We also our last contest was amazing. What do you wish they taught you in sex ed? And we had lots of winners. They won like $400 gift baskets. But if you didn't win, you can go to sinclairincetute.com, use coupon code Emily 50 for 50% off one item and they create educational sex videos that are nothing like

you saw in sex ed. They teach by showing the real thing. So lots of the emails I get asked, I get hundreds of emails from you and you're like, well, how do we spice it up or how do we do this position or that position? And they actually have educational DVDs that are not porn, but they're real people having sex and they're educational. So check out St. Clarence too. We love them and there's lots of good things on their site.

Okay, so what else, man? Does anything funny, you've tell me? Anything funny or juicy? No, I just didn't know. No, juicy. I know, it sucks. I know, I just feel like I was like riding in the elevator up here to Stitcher.

We're at the Stitcher Studios where you can, you can easily listen to our podcast. We've got hundreds of them. You download Stitcher for your smartphone, your iPad, and you just stream the show, STITCHER. So anyway, I was running up the stairs, I was on the elevator, and I was like, just feeling kind of bummed,

like, not bad, just like, what is life about? Like, having one of those like, what, like, what does it all mean? And I'm just working all the time, trying to make sex with Emily take over the world. And I don't know, I have to have more fun. So maybe I should just go to Burning Man and get naked in the desert.

You should. No, I kind of had the same feelings. So it's just, I don't know. I feel like I'm doing so many good things. But then at the same time, I upset people. Yeah, I have to be able to. And it's just like, it then it makes you feel bad for what you're doing, you know? Like I said something on the radio and I pissed off somebody.

One person that you know or just like, oh, it's not. I would for like separate things. It wasn't even like in the same thing and I'm just like, oh my god. I know it's a lot. It's a lot to deal with. I was like, talk to you. What you do. Can you say it here? Are you going to piss off people if you repeat it? No, not here. It was no, but it was your other radio show

But do it's my other radio show there was like this some other thing else. I was trying to be nice and like mention somebody's Website or something like that and but I also like made a joke. Oh after like was something with it Oh, no. And then they got upset. And you mentioned the website of the radio. They should be happy. You mentioned their website. So yeah, it sucked because I was just trying to be nice. I know. You know, but it's hard when people are mad at you. It's really that's I think that's one of it too. I've got a few friends because I was just on this television show.

So it was meant it's called misadvised on Bravo. And it just ended. And it was a reality show. You can download it on demand if you have cable, or you can download it from iTunes for like $7.99 or something. Point is, that took over my life for two months. Like that was like, I didn't see any of my friends, so now I've got all these friends who are mad at me because I haven't seen them, and I didn't call them back. I don't even remember they called me

because that's how crazy it was. So I'm just trying to pick up the pieces. This is what I found in life. Talk to me. You're gonna teach me a life lesson because I need some inspiration. This is something that I learned easily. After my many years of working hard,

that love is great, friends are great, but it doesn't pay the bills, man. It doesn't pay the bills. It doesn't pay the bills. Don't pay my rent. And I don't want to be around people where I have to depend on them, you know, to get a source of income or like ask favors

and stuff like that. Like, dude, I gotta work. I know. If I'm working and I'm making a living, I don't know. All my friends are mad at me because they haven't seen me and I'm working. And you're right. And they don't get it. know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. British couple on the hunt for strangers to pay for their 24th wedding. This is so bizarre.

Alex and Lisa are a young couple from Yorkshire, England, who became engaged in 2011 and are just chomping at the bit to share their love with the world, and for the world to foot the bill. Any takers? They've recently started a project slash extended vacation in which they allow strangers to throw them elaborate weddings in many exotic locations around the world from a Native American wedding in British Columbia to a vampire wedding in Hollywood to a wedding Costa Rica.

They've had 23 and they won't stop till July 2014 by spending a couple years traveling around and partying and being the center of attention. They documented their adventures on their blog. Romantic or nauseatingly cutesy. I think what do they look? Why would they need the whole entire world to celebrate their wedding? They just sound like young party or something. They're stupid.

That's stupid. You want young, you want strangers or something? Get a job. Get a job, people. I mean, does everyone have to come with a gift? I don't know you, but here's like a gift. Yeah. Let's do it.

Okay. New blog highlights creepy okay, cupid commands. This is gonna be hilarious because I know that all my friends who date online have hilarious, hilarious responses that they get from potential suitors. So this is not okay, cupid. And it's a handy work. It's with the website's called,

this is not okay, cupid, okay, why is the handiwork of one enterprising young lady who attracts online creepers by the bush by the bush all them posts their overtures on her Tumblr blog with her own comments at it. It's been blowing up this week thanks to the high levels of weirdness of her would be lovers as well as submissions from girls everywhere. So everyone is submitting their weird submissions. To all those interested in online dating, her blog is a good example of the kinds of first messages to not send.

So this is like we're always getting asked, what's the best profile message? What should I tell someone on the first message? Aside from the extremely graphic proposition, highlights include, I punched my teddy bear and it ran away. Can I cuddle with you instead? That was one of the bad ones.

It's your lucky day. I've had over 30 females tell me I am the god of oral sex. These are first messages to people. Here's the game. We find a guy, get him drunk, take him home, and we both have a way with him. 10 bonus points if he's straight

What people are writing this and of course a lengthy poem that starts the line at evening stroke So check out this is not okay cupid dot tumblr.com. I think that's funny because seriously There is such amazing content that comes out of online dating like I've had friends who guys were like sending them Make it pictures and like being like D are you into this kind of sex or that kind of sex? So I think it's a funny, enterprising mission. Okay. What?

Well, just in general, what women get on Twitter too, it should be hilarious. They should put Twitter on there. They should. I should put my Twitter. Or my emails, I just get from people asking me like,

oh my God, will you marry me? That's what it should be This should be your next book your just digital book e-mail us to Emily. I have so many emails down and love I have a love letters to Emily. I said all my love letters from I told you this before I just gave you your Your next easy but how easy is that I'm gonna write it down emails to Emily emails to Emily It's a nice alliteration. Emails to Emily.

Okay, that's my next book. And I do have a book if you want to buy it, it's amazing. It's called Hot Sacks over 200 things you can try tonight. You can buy it on Amazon. I'm actually having a big party in San Francisco if you're in the Bay area on September 5th with AB, my co-star of Miss Advise, she wrote a book too, called eight weeks to Everlasting, and we're gonna have a book party.

So, email me if you wanna know more about that. Well, check this out. Check this out, what? I'm gonna have you on my radio show that day. You and me. Together? Oh, cool. Just FYI.

Oh, you didn't even let me know. What time? Don't make me go early. How early? How early? You're gonna be always late. I't make me go early. How early? How early? You're going to be always late. I need you to be early. I'll be there early.

745. I can do that. 745 AM. That's early. For two minutes, right? No, we'll put you on for a good amount of time. OK. And then I'm going to come on more often.

You said when you're on more established and stuff. OK. I love that. We've got to pump it up, pump it up, pump it up. It's going to be more established and stuff. Okay. I love that. We got to pump it up, pump it up, pump it up. It's going to be a really fun party. Okay, Axe ad featuring headless pairs of breasts getting chopped by viewers.

What? A television commercial for Axe, AXE has been branded sexist by thousands of viewers because the female character in the ad is depicted as a headless pair of breasts and legs. Designed to promote a men's hair care product, the concept of the ad's set in office is based on the idea that men notice breasts first on a woman while women notice the man's hair before anything else.

In turn, the male character who admires his amply-chested coworker from afar is a thick head of hair on legs. This is not the first time an ad for actse, which is owned by Unilever, has sparked controversy. And added 2010, attracted anger after a man having a shower, after one eight sandwich, using his axe shower gel

to scrub away the skank. Do you remember that? Do you say scrub away the skank? Yes, that's what Axe said, and they got in trouble. Oh, wow. So now they're not happy because they're showing women walking around with their boobs, when whatever is that what I look at first you never taken the horse bath.

I've done in Vegas. The horse bath is where you've been out all night, but you don't want to go straight home. So you just like you take a bath in a sink. No, no, random bathroom. Like you just like clean yourself up. It's called the horse bath. The horse bath. I haven't had to do that. I usually try to have a hotel room to go to go back to, but I'm going to Vegas of 10 or 10 for the 15th. I'll be there for the International Lundaration. Really? Yep, if you want to come. I always invite you, you never invite me.

Okay, science provides yet another reason why the rhythm method is out of tune. So you know the rhythm method, right? Like where you have your period, you know when you're the woman's ovulating and you pull out during those times, you're more careful during the time she's ovulating. New researchers confirmed that the fluid and semen, long dismay, does primarily a vehicle for sperm, contains a substance that can trigger ovulation and other pregnancy supporting hormonal responses and female mammals, the fine could lead to new fertility treatments

in humans. Like most female animals, women are spontaneous ovulators, meaning they release eggs in a fairly regular basis regardless of their sexual activities. However, but because, however, ovulate, they're response, they ovulate in response to sex. It was originally thought this happened purely because of physical stimulation

researchers theorize something in the makeup of semen having to do with this and 27 years later the theories have been proven correct so It can induce ovulation your semen in a woman so she could still get pregnant so you got to be careful damn it. Damn it. Sorry about that Okay, we have to talk about representative Todd Aiken and Missouri. Republican representative. Oh my God, this has been all over the place. All over the place. And I just feel like it's my duty. So when asked whether he believes an abortion to give you the recap of you haven't been watching the news or anything, abortion is justified in cases of rape that rapes don't result in pregnancy. His words are, from what I

understand from doctors, it's really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has a way to try and shut down the whole thing. So he's basically saying that he heard from some quack doctor that if a woman gets raped, her body has a way of shutting down the sperm, so she doesn't get pregnant, which is crazy. So, Twitter quickly erupted without raging links to the interview. Five hours later, Aiken tried to backtrack claiming he had fumbled his words, but he was already being denounced by Republican leadership despite the fact that Republican platform is shifting towards denying abortion in all cases even rape.

Aiken despite being attacked by his own party has so far refused to step down. There's many things to consider to be mad about here. Here's some of them. The idea, widely held, that women overreport rape, thus making some rapes illegitimate and others legitimate. A congressman assigning magical judicial powers to a woman's uterus. This idea has actually been fourth several times

in the past by Republicans who are against abortion Uh, and that people who believe the stuff are actively trying and succeeding in denying women the access to birth control around country So it's just wreaking havoc on women and life and country and he's such an idiot. It's insane. It's insane. What's going down? It's insane and then he tried to backtrack again again on the interview like the next day and it was so bad He's so bad. He's like, oh, yeah, the body interview, like the next day, and it was so bad. He's so bad. He's like, oh, yeah, the body just naturally knows if you're raped, it won't. Yeah. When you try a backtrack, just, and you know, you messed up just admit I messed up. I know people, it's, yeah, once you messed up, you messed up.

Yeah, he just got to suck it up and say you made a mistake. So true. Okay. Emails. All mistake. So true. OK. Emails. All right. All right. Love hearing from the people. You can email me straight from my website.

There's an Ask Emily thing at Ask Emily tab at sexualemailme.com or you can email me feedback at sexwithelme.com. Let's give me part of her next book. It's my next book. I'm going to publish emails. I think I showed it so easy. I've got thousands of them. And they're all really good because people

email me the best questions. Hi, Emily. I am separated and I want it so easy. I've got thousands of them and they're all really good because people email me the best questions Hi, Emily. I am separated and I want to start dating. I like to mix it up in the bedroom I'm very submissive. It's hard to find a man that wants the same thing Where and how do I meet a man like this? I find that men I've dated and married are put off about getting twisted in the bedroom help How many men will I have to date to find that one also? is it okay for a woman to go to a bar by herself? LA Bears, she signed it. So first I thought she was saying bears like she's gay, like bears, you know, bears in the gay community.

But it's hard to find a man who wants the same thing. I don't think it would be hard to find a man that would like to be, that would like to dominate you. Because you say that you've dated a man that are about getting twisted in the bedroom. First of all, I think a lot of men like a woman to be more submissive in the bedroom. Don't you think?

I mean, not all the time, but if a woman is submissive and wants to be tied up or teased. Yeah, yeah, but you know, you have to give direction to that. Right. Guys are not going to know that they can just do it. Right. You're going to have to vocalize it to the guys.

Are you sure they're not down with it? Like I don't think it like it says that they're put off. You said that they're put off about getting twisted in the bedroom. I'm not sure what that means. But I think you just got to keep dating and putting it out there because you will find what you want sexually. I mean, you can also go online. There's certain sites that cater to like more and you can like, like even okay, Cupid, you can answer things more sexually. Like this is what you're interested in, right? I don't know. Cupid, they ask you some questions like that or no.

I don't know. You never used it. But, um, and also it's totally fine for women to go to a bar by herself. In fact, I think you're going to meet a lot of people that way. I love going to bar myself, I like going to movies by myself. So don't be ashamed. Just sit there proud. Drink your drink. Have fun. Go to bar. Do it. I have no problem with that at all. But I would also say if you're not meeting the kind of menu I want to meet, I would try dating online. And there's nothing wrong with it. If you find someone that you're

interested online and you guys are an email, you can ask like, what are your sexual proclivities and see what comes up? Okay. Dear Emily, big fan of your podcast and misadvised, I have a non sexual question for you. I am wondering if you can advise on how to properly ask out a waitress. For me it is different from approaching someone at a bar or club because they're working. I'm funny and fairly confident, but I'm not a top-notch player in the smoothness or flirting departments, no Jedi mind tricks here. So it would be harder for me to ask out a waitress without coming across as a creepy customer.

Also, I don't like the idea of putting someone on the spot, especially with an earshot of other customers. What do you think Travis from Tampa? I think you just got to like either you could leave a note with your phone number, although women don't often call when you do that, right? Yeah, they don't. You can just start chatting with her when it comes to your table and say,

so what are you doing later? I mean, I think waitresses, when I was a waitress, you get asked out all the time. Do you think there's a special trick to asking out a waitress? I mean, have you seen her a few times? Are you regular? Yeah, you can't just be any geek off the street. Yeah, if you're one time Charlie, no.

But if you go in there all the time and you see her and you have a friendly reporter, I would suggest going in there all the time. And then you can be like, hey, what are you doing after? My friend's band is playing Friday night. You want to come with me. You can make it really casual. But I don't think that you should trip on it. I think you should just ask her out. I don't think it's a big deal.

But as again, I would make it so she's you're familiar. Like I don't think that she's going to give her a number to a complete stranger unless she's really attractive to you or whatever, but a lot of women don't. Like they should might take your number. I've done that. I've never called. Have you ever had a woman call you after you give her the number? No, but they've like hit me up online. Right.

Yeah, I mean, I would say you could wait for her after work, but then that's kind of stocky. So I would just try to make a casual. No, no, no, no, no, no. Make a casual and be like, hey, so what's to do? How's your day going? Your day's going to have really, yeah,

when you want to go to the see this great show, just casual. Don't overthink it. You're overthinking it. Don't you think the guys overthink these things sometimes they just gotta add yeah you gotta make it totally cash cash not uptight she can't she doesn't need to know that you've been stressing about it and they email me about it I will never tell her okay dear Emily first time writing in but I've been listening to your podcast for a while I've someone I've been going out and dates with and she doesn't understand how being in

a relationship with someone and being friends are different besides the sex. After prodding a little more, she reveals that she's never been in love with a boyfriend before. I tried to explain that being in love with someone you're in a relationship with is different than loving a friend, but I just can't get through to her. Are some people just not programmed to love that way? Is there a better way to explain to her our difference between friends and lovers?

So that's interesting that she doesn't understand the difference between friends and lovers. Like I would think that's sort of common knowledge. Are they having sex or not? She says that he's been on dates with her a little and she doesn't understand how being in a relationship and being friends are different besides the sex. Because I think when you're in a relationship with someone, you have a certain emotional intimacy with them and you have the sexual intimacy, you

rely on them more, you take them as your date to wedding because they come home with you the Thanksgiving and meet your family. And you rely on each other, you take the measure data wedding, as they come home with you, the Thanksgiving, and meet your family. And you rely on each other, and you build a lot of people get in relationships because they're building towards something. So maybe that's the difference between friendships and a sexual relationship. Is that in friendships,

like my friends or my friends, we're not like working towards eventually moving in together. Like I'm not moving in with my best friend. But if you're dating someone, you might be working towards family and children and living together. I'm not moving in with my best friend. But if you're dating someone, you might be working towards family and children and living together. So, I mean, that's how I guess you'd explain it. It doesn't seem like it would be that difficult to explain. But you ask me if some people are just not programmed to love that way. And I think that there are some people who are not programmed to love to love in a different way. Some people who are like in polyamorous

or open relationships love many people, their friends become lovers, their lovers become friends. So yeah, not everyone is programmed to follow love and follow the traditional path. Yeah, and then if you're just hooking up too, don't, and there's never been talks about a relationship. Right. Where you guys, oh you your just friends that hook up, you know I I don't know if you should think that's gonna lead to a relationship either right that's true

But I'm wondering what you want from her It sounds like you want stuff from her because you're prodding in your talking to her And she's never been in love and never had a boyfriend So I would say if she's never been in love and never had a boyfriend It totally makes sense that she doesn't understand the difference. How old is she? How old are you?

I need to know more information. So you can email me and then we can flesh this out some more. But if she's never been in love and never had a boyfriend, she's not gonna understand it. And the story, okay, dear Emily, I started seeing this guy who just got out of a seven year relationship. We met at a party and have talked almost every day since. I like him and he likes me, but because of his recent breakup only four months ago,

he says he doesn't want to get into a relationship right now. However, he is all for us having an exclusive sexual relationship. Should I continue to see him and have this type of relationship he wants now, hoping it will progress into something more or should I just move on since he just wants sex? Sign Missy. Well, Missy, it sounds like you should move on. He's telling you very clearly that he only wants sex with you, and I'm thinking that you want a relationship because you like him. And this is where it gets tricky, because like you said, you said this should I continue to see him in case he changes, in case it progresses. And you can never get into a relationship

thinking that you're going to change someone, thinking that they're all of a sudden going to want to commit to you, thinking that it's going to change. I mean, people tell you who they are and what they want fairly early on. And he's saying, I'm out of a seven year relationship. I just want to bang you and I think you're cool and we're having a good time together and let's just be cash. But Missy, it sounds like you want more from him and I think that you should just bail on this one,

even if you like him. Get out. Get out before it, you get hurt because every time you go into a relationship thinking that you're going to change someone, it never happens. Ever, ever, ever. People only change if you want them to change. So I gotta say that. Okay, moving, ever, ever. People only change if you want them to change. So I gotta say that.

Okay, moving on to our topic. And the topic is? The topic is virgins. Because here's the deal. And it's not just virgins. You're a virgin until you were like 30, right? 30, right? I was a virgin until 30, but you can't believe we are getting

emails from virgins of all the veneges. But we're also gonna be giving you some important information here just about sex and relationships and knowing your body. But I did all of a sudden get like a flurry of emails from all these versions. And so I figured I didn't incorporate them. Since television show, maybe we got a younger audience. I don't know.

I just figured I had to address it. It was my duty to the people. So is it, but this, this first email was entitled in the subject line, is it supposed to be special? Dear Emily, I'm a 19-year-old college student who's a virgin. I'm completely open to the possibility of sex, but I'm pretty overwhelmed by the idea of the first time. My question is, how important is it that my first time be with someone special or serious? Is losing my virginity supposed to be some sort of life

altering experience with someone I have deep feelings for? Or can it be a casual experience with someone I just have chemistry with? Basically, does it have to be a big deal? Signed Sheila. Okay, Sheila, here's a deal. I don't think it has to be a big deal? Signed Sheila. Okay, Sheila, here's a deal. I don't think it has to be anything. It's not supposed to be like special or not special.

I would just say part of having a happy, healthy sex life is knowing exactly what you want. And so if you feel like you want to be with someone who is, you know, you choose that you'd like to have more of a committed relationship than you should definitely wait for that. But I think if you also have sex with someone you're dating casually, there's nothing wrong with that either. The most important thing is, is what you want and what makes you feel sexy and we're relaxed.

It's good to get in the habit of thinking about what you want, it's actually, and before you do have sex, I hope you've been masturbating, and I hope you've been figuring out what makes you feel good, because that will definitely make the first experience much better. If you know how to give yourself an orgasm, you can show your partner. But I, again, I'm not going to put any labels on it. And I'm not going to tell you that it's important. I would like to say this first time shouldn't be random. Yeah, it shouldn't be a random. I don't

think you should look up with some random guy just because you want to have sex with you. I would like to say this first time shouldn't be random. Yeah, it shouldn't be a random. I don't think you should look up with some random guy just because you want to have sex with you. I would like to say to you, it should be more special. And, but I don't think it's a life altering experience that it was some of you deep feelings for because then you're setting yourself up. You're like, I've got to have deep feelings for this person and then it's going to be life altering

and the truth is it's not life altering the free. It can be life altering the first time. It's a big deal. It's a milestone in life But it's not gonna like rock your world the first time Is it? No, no, no It's gonna make you afraid of sex again. No, I'm excited to have sex again Not really. I don't remember. I don't remember being excited for it I remember being relieved that I finally had sex I was excited. I was excited. Not really, I don't remember. I don't remember being excited for it. I remember being relieved that I finally had sex.

I was 17 and I'd been dating the guy for a year. I can't believe I held off that long, but I did. And I don't remember being like rocking my world, but I was glad that he was personally, I'm glad that it was someone that I am now friends with on Facebook. Let's put it that way. I wonder how many people I've slept with

out of my Facebook friends. I could ask that question. I could ask who I slept with on here and see who answers. That would be kind of embarrassing now. What was I going to say? Oh, the person that I had to say. Lost your Virginia.

Yeah, I didn't want to say that. But they're not on Facebook. How do you know? You looked them up because I'm friends with their sister. Oh, not on Facebook. Yeah. Okay, Sheila. So I would just say, ask yourself where you want to be and what will make you feel sexy and relaxed with so many other people telling you what to do with your sex life. It's good to get it in the habit of thinking about what you want. So again, I can't answer this for you, but just be careful and make sure it's a good guy, but don't expect all these bells and whistles

because it doesn't come that way. Describe your first time. My first time, I, my boyfriend, I was 17, he was 18. We'd been in a year, he was a football player. His parents were out of town. It's always when the parents are out of town. I know. And I think we kind of planned it.

It was like a Friday night. We were on his brother's water bed. Oh, terrible. Why the hell would you have sex the first time on a water bed? And who even has a water bed? Well, during that time, yeah. Was it the 80s? Yes.

Yeah, of course. Then people, water bed, it was ladies. You think that, yeah. No, no, no. Was it the 80s or the 80s? Yes, yeah, of course, then people Did they love it? It was ladies you think that yeah, no, no, no, was the 80s of the 90s I guess it was the lady so Anyway, so yeah and we had sex and it was like I Mean so funny how I can remember it like I remember being on the bottom and him going slow and It being passionate and feeling like it was a big deal. I don't think I bled. This is the big question.

Sometimes you do bleeds and sometimes you don't bleed. I don't remember like it being bloody, but you can always put a towel down if you're worried about that. And I just remember feeling like, oh, wow, I did it. You know, we used the condom. Unfortunately, we left the condom and his brother found the condom in tucked inside the water bed between the mushy, between the water bed and the wood. And was like, what the hell started screaming

and I'm friving sex in this bed? So then... Did he have his own bed? Why did he have to do it on the water bed? I don't remember why he is like, baby, I'm gonna make this special. We're gonna do it in the water bed. We're gonna have aquasacks.

So how long has this guy been married and how many kids does he? I do not. He's my Facebook friend, like I said, and I don't think he's married. And I don't think he has kids. Oh, then yeah, then you should marry this guy. Um, I don't think so. He did stock me once after high school. Um, he's not my guy.

But, um, I don't have a phone over that. I should call him one day. Oh, I can totally get his numbers probably on Facebook. Oh my god. Everyone's, I know. Is that weird? It's totally weird. I try to, I disconnect it all the time, but it keeps on popping up. I know they keep putting it back. Facebook, they own our lives. They own our first born. if we have any. Okay. Other tips that is would be really funny to have my first boyfriend on the phone. Yes, I would love to talk to them. Let's find them. I'm he did email me on Facebook recently. Really? Did he watch the show? Is that why? Probably. I think that chick. Yeah, I bet you a lot of guys watched it saying I bang that chick. Oh my god. No, you know, just like three or four. Okay, tips.

We need more, need more viewers to get season two. We're trying to get a season two email Bravo TV and tell them you're start tweet them that you want a season two of misadvised. Hashtag misadvised. Hashtag misadvised because it was rockin. We had a good time. Okay, tips for virgins. This is another email. So I'm using people's emails to explain the whole virgins thing. Dear Emily, you always talk about sex for people who are

experienced. What are some tips for people who are still virgins and about to have sexed? Sex from James. This is from a dude. So my response to that is for play. Lots and lots and lots of for play. Fingers, tongues, toys, not only were for play alleviate the tension. It will help your body's prepare for the main event. So just so you know, women, you don't just have sex the first

time without a little for play without like kissing her, going down on her, playing with her breasts. the first time without a little foreplay, without like kissing her, going down on her, playing with her breasts. Foreplay is a huge, huge part of sex because women can't go from zero to 60 like guys do. They don't get turned on like men do it's quickly. So you need to practice your foreplay skills, you need to touch her, you need to kiss her,

you need to caress her. And you also need to consider using two methods of birth control. You could try doubling up using the pill and you should always use condoms because that makes it less scary the first time, right? Pills and condoms. And it can be stressful losing your originality. And anything you can do to remove the pregnancy worries from the equation is a very good idea.

So the actual, the tips for people who are still virgins, I would just say again, get to know the vagina, get down there with your mouth, with your fingers, use some sex toys, ask your partner what turns are on. Maybe you guys can do mutual masturbation. That's a nice prelude to actually having intercourse is masturbating next to each other and seeing what makes each other feel good.

So you know. How, how old are you when you were put on birth control? 18. 18. Yep. Did you tell your when you were put on birth control? 18. 18. Yep. Did you tell your mom you were having sex? I didn't. No.

But she didn't. You just said you didn't mean me on it. Yeah, I think I was going away for the summer and I went to my gynecologist or something for the first time and I got it. Yeah, it was pretty cool. Except for my problem with birth control, it's not really a problem. It's nice, but my breasts grow like a full size and a half, like they become massive.

And like nothing else on me changed, there is no problem. I was dating, I went back on the pill a few years ago, and then I went off it again, but I was dating this guy and he was like, oh my God, I was like a porn star, seriously, because I'm small. I mean, I'm like, small waisted and all that, but I like the largest breasts. you knew me at that time. You probably didn't recognize.

Like I was wearing a bathing suit at a pool party and everyone was like, oh my God, did you get up? They thought I got a boob job. So that, and some women, they're boobs get bigger. Yeah. And I almost feel like I should go back on them. So when we talk about using condoms, I have a new favorite condom.

Sir Richard condoms, you can get them a good vibes good vibes.com Just go to my website click on good vibrations For every sir Richard condom you purchased you contribute one to a developing country Plus they have great plaid packaging Dude, why is everyone doing this now? I'm just hearing something about how these glasses the glasses So wow, it's Friday everybody. It's Friday. Or I had a couple drinks. Did you?

No. Oh, I want a drink with that. Glasses, glasses. Wow. Something's wrong with me. Glasses. You're working too hard, and you're not sleeping enough. You're not eating well.

Yeah, glasses, manufacturer, they're doing the same thing. They make a pair, and then they give away a pair. Because they think it's going to help business, because they go, we're like, oh, good. Yeah, I like it. But I think it is a help business. Because they go, we're like, oh, good. But I think it is a good thing. Like, Tom's shoes. Tom shoes.

Those are like ugly issues I've ever seen in my life. They're so ugly that people buy them because they give money to whatever. Africa. Yeah, but I seen like high heels, Tom's now. Like you tell me like a small child in Africa is gonna get high heels, Tom's now. No, they get proceeds.

Excuse me, they get proceeds. Excuse me, they get proceeds from the benefits, but I just, yeah, I don't know. I just want to pair Christian lubricants, size seven. Also, for first time sex people, get some lube. Lube is key. Get something to minimize the friction and your vagina will thank you in the morning

if you're a female virgin. People think that lube is sort of something to use the friction and your vagina will thank you in the morning if you're a female virgin. People think that lube is sort of something to use only if you're dry, but I would suggest using lots of lube the first time. A great lube to try is nature, love and lubricants. This is now my other favorite thing. You go to nature, love and lubricants.com or just click on the honey bear on my website. It comes in a honey bear bottle like honey. like you know the honey, like you're honey when

you buy honey in the store and it's in a bear, it's a bear. The loop comes in a honey bear. It glows in the dark, right? It glows in the dark. It comes in a cute honey bear container contains ingredients that help prevent sage HPV and contains royal jelly derived from honey bees and Part of their proceeds of their loobs go towards different organizations So not only will you be losing your virginity, but you'll be doing good to to the world and I really like their loob

And you know that I believe that loob should be on every night's day in America. I know do you want it? Do I want to go in the dark? Do you use loop? No, no, you know, I don't hang out with chicks that dry. It's not about being dry. Lube is such a stigma. I hate the stigma with lube. Use it. I don't love love. I would love. You would love to go in the dark. You would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark.

Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark.

Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. Because I would love to go in the dark. My next question we have is, when are you ready and how should you communicate that?

When are you ready to have sex? Now this is from a 14 year old girl. Hi Emily, I'm a 14 year old virgin who is ready to have sex in my opinion. I'm masturbating for some time now and would like to be able to have sex with a partner. My question is, how do I tell my parents that I'm ready for this and want to be on the pill and how do I masturbate without them knowing? Lots of love, Tristina. Okay, Tristina, you need to be really sure you're ready. Fourteen is a very young to make such a big decision, but I'm really glad that you're exploring your body through masturbation

and it's great that you brought up birth control because I do think that you should, if you do start having sacks, you definitely should use condoms and you can't talk about getting in the pill. But I think 14 is young. And I'm curious with the rushes. I know that you're probably really excited because masturbation feels amazing and you're having orgasms and assuming and it's great.

But you can also be with men and not have sacks with them. You can perform oral sacks. You can perform oral sex. You can roll around naked. You can do everything but you don't. And that's actually a lot of times the most fun part. The actual sex part. You're not gonna be able to do it correctly and you're gonna end up with a kid.

You're gonna be on 16 and pregnant. You're gonna be on 16 and pregnant. I don't condone 14 years old, honey, but I'm glad you emailed. And how do you master without them knowing? I mean, you just lock your door. You shut your door. Parents walk in, though. Get a hotel room.

No, I just think it's great that you're masturbating. And I would say, sweetie, just keep masturbating and exploring your body and have sex when you're 20. Oh, I don't know. Well, how much do you age of the people of sex? Now I wonder 16, 17. Yeah, I think so. Which I think is scary. You got to wait till you're of legal age. I think, but whatever. It's your life. Do what you want.

Yeah, we're not gonna. We're not gonna. I'm not gonna judge. How old were you again? I was 18. You were 18. I was so cute. I waited till I was 18 of age of age Of age. Yeah, what's going on in your life lately lately my life sexually or just in general In general, it's good. I've been having some sex and Things are going well in our relationship. I do feel like I need more time and alone. Are you about to say space?

I like to be alone. I need to clean my apartment, walk my dog, do stuff like that. And I feel like being in a relationship some times you lose, you don't have time for anything. Like I even hung out with friends, I even done anything. So, but things are good. He's just awesome guy. Like literally, like I haven't hung out with friends, I haven't done anything, so, but things are good, he's just awesome guy, like literally like I can't believe he's awesome, he is.

So I like him, what about you? That's good. Me, I am just figuring out how to balance time. I know. I feel like I've been doing that for a while, but now I have like really two big new things in my life that are taking up a lot of time, and I just gotta figure out how to balance that,

but I'm happy that these things happen. I'm happy for you too. I was talking about you. It's just career stuff. And I'm happy it's happened. Just figuring out like a happy balance. It's hard. Life is all about trying to find balance and it's really hard. I try something. When I do something or try something new, I like going crazy in full force and I have like two full-time things that I'm trying to balance and figure out. Oh, honey. But I really want to, I don't want to crash and burn.

No, no, I think you might. You think that I might? What can you do to lev- I actually, I really think that I can relate to that. Oh, good. Research today, how to make what I'm doing easier. How, what, what? Like just, you know, prioritizing.

Prioritizing, you know, figuring out programs that can do things for me that I don't have to manually do things. Like what? Anything good? It's all technical stuff. It's like technical nerd stuff. It's like, like, so I, one job I do, like, online marketing, right? Through social networking.

And I do it manually, like like I manually research every single freaking thing But there's programs out there that will like research it for you And you found this program and I like and I looked and see what programs would help me right? That's good. That's smart. So that's gonna help alleviate a lot of my time, you know So I need to calm down a little bit right. It's just like when I every I don't know with me or if I'm different than other's just like when I every, I don't know with me, or if I'm different than other people, but like when I get into a new position,

I want to show like I can make a difference. And the problem is I always want to show that I can make a difference right away. Like week one, I want to show everyone like, you're such a hard worker and you're so hard in yourself. I want to do this. And then like so everything like fun and everything outside of work just like kinda just like goes away and I don't focus on any of that kind of stuff.

I know, but you gotta be, you gotta be so hard on yourself. I have to, I gotta. But you don't have to be successful the first week, no one expects that. I don't know, but that's what I put so much pressure on myself. I know you do. You've been doing it a long time

and that's what I was thinking on my elevator right up is that how long has this been going on, this pressure to succeed and to work hard, and that's all I ever think about, like my mind defaults towards work. Like a lot of people's mind defaults towards food or defaults towards their boyfriend or their girlfriend or defaults towards nature

or running or whatever, exercise, minds like work, work, work. Yeah. And what sucks is for what we do, their boyfriend or their girlfriend or defaults towards nature or running or whatever exercise minds like work work work. Yeah and what what sucks is for what we do what we do is amazing and I want to trade it for anything but it's not like a normal job it all comes down to numbers how many times as your podcast been downloaded how many times has somebody tuned into the radio right and has this many people tuned in at this hour Or what are you doing wrong here or oh this many people didn't visit this website This week then they did the week before it's just like constantly just like oh It's always a number game. You stressed me out just now that's I know

That you have to stuff that we deal with. And I know being on the radio is amazing and it's fun, but that's like, that's the stressful part of it. It is stressful. And radio is not typically that affirming. No, they're never like, great job, great job. It's always like, you fucked up, you suck the air. Did something bad here, you know?

And then you don't know if you have a job week to week. Right, it's crazy. It is crazy, honey. But you've hung in a long time, you're doing good work. And same. That's good. OK, so we've got a little more virgin stuff here. Virgin?

Virgin stuff. Can I talk about Virgin America real quick? Yeah. Because we keep on bringing it up. We love Virgin America. Best airline out. Oh my god, you can watch television and calls and when you're rich and famous can you send me on a first-class flight to Tokyo, Japan on virgin Yes, will you please yes, how much is that?

About 14 grand. Oh my god, but you're rich. You'll be I'm gonna be so rich Everybody go download my podcast and download my iPhone app. You're a big television talk show star. How much will I make? How much is Dr. Drew make? Dr. Drew? Well, Dr. Drew, he does a lot of things. He's like, right in the crust of his stuff.

I was on a show yesterday. What was the HLN? It was HLN? Do you know the HLN channel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was on the HLN channel. Dr. Drew has a show and it was about your marriage, how to spice up your marriage.

Yeah. And it was fun. Yeah, he, I mean, he has a radio show. He does a couple different shows. I know. MTV stuff. Dr. Drew is like, he's so well. He's like him so much.

He's like the Ryan Secrest of Doctors or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Doctors advice shows. So I did that and I was also on the doctor's television show. You can check it all out on my website. It's all cool. Okay. And we also do a video version of this show. Oh yeah, let's talk about that for a second. It's five cameras and it's all the videos are all up on sex family.com. We can watch them. And also every Tuesday at 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, we do it live. So live from 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. and you can actually call in and ask questions. Right. It's at tradiov.com. Yeah, tradiov.com. Slash SF if you're. Slash SF. Okay, or go to my website, section, and you can see all the video podcasts. You can see what we look like and we look pretty good

We do I don't know what to do with cameras over there, but did we look good? I haven't watched it I just was saying that cuz we're good on it. I don't know better than usual Maybe I should walk around with the camera. I did that already All right, okay, so Yeah, so T radio reason Tuesdays. What else do we have We've got just got hundreds of podcasts that you could easily download. It doesn't do any time if you want to improve your sex life, which I'm sure you do. Okay, will it be good? This is another question. I am Lee. I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 28. I am still a virgin and he is not, of course.

He said once that he, he said once that he appreciates my virginity. once that he said once that he appreciates my virginity. How is it going to be? Will I be able to satisfy him when he's been satisfied by many other experienced women before me? Well, will he be thinking of me? Will he be looking to satisfy me or will be looking for his own satisfaction? He says on the first woman he loves this much and what he's feeling towards me he has never felt before me. So he sees that I'm his first true love. What can you say to call me an advise from Rhyma?

Okay, Rhyma, I think it sounds like a sweetheart and I would say, I mean, I want to believe that you are his true love. He said that to you, that sounds really nice and I would just get out of your head, all the women maybe that he's been with before, that they're more experienced, and you're not gonna know what you're doing. If he is a kind, gentle soul, he recognizes that you're a virgin, it's your first time,

and hopefully he'll be making it all about you, and you're pleasure, and you're safety, and that you feel good, and that you're doing okay. And I would just say that you don't worry about what you need to be doing. I mean, yes, you could please, for like I always say, for play, huge part of sex.

You can, you know, perform all sex on him. You can ask him what he likes, but I wouldn't worry about like doing some major performance. Forget everything you've ever seen in porn. If you've watched porn, that is not how to learn how to have sex. Pornography does not teach us the right moves. Because pornography is made for a visual medium for men who like to watch certain things happen. And a lot of things that you see important

do not actually feel good or make sense sexually. So I would just say, if you're concerned about seeing clumsy or inexperienced for lacks, you'll probably worry less if you see what someone you're comfortable with and who you know has a sense of humor. And I also recommend that you masturbate. Hopefully you have had an orgasm.

Not hopefully, but if you haven't had an orgasm before, that you learn to masturbate or that you masturbate and you learn how to have an orgasm so then you can show your partner during sex. It is very important. It is. It's very important, right? It is. It is.

It's a great important process of the whole act. And look, everyone does it. Don't worry about it. I don't remember having all this worry about it, but I probably did. I'm sorry. Because people, you know why when you're younger, people make fun of it on the school. They do, you're like on a virgin? No, no, not the virgin, but the whole,

I'm saying to practice with the masturbation. People like are brutal about masturbation. Why would they say? Oh, you got caught jacking off. I don't remember that. I don't know. It was like really, it was a very big topic on the playground when I was younger. Right. It's masturbation. Okay. And how people would make fun of people. But was it mostly making fun of guys masturbating in that women? Yeah, like we, because guys are dumb, they don't think women masturbate. But I didn't know that women, I, I believe it or not, ironically did not masturbate till I was like 19. I didn't even occur to me. I never even thought to touch myself. I wasn't even like, I never got turned on in that way.

Girl's never talked about it with you. No, the girls never talked, no one, my mom. Never thought about, that's what I wish they, nothing. Banana. Nothing. Pickle. No.

No. Really? Nothing. I didn't even know it. Nothing. Like I thought like, God, I mean, maybe you just get turned on and you just naturally would touch yourself But I obviously never did I don't know what the hell's wrong with me

But oh, you know what I've been watching on TV. I've watched the entire the entire season No way you watch something the entire season you're gonna have a freaking heart attack. I don't watch TV here comes honey booboo No, what is that? It's an amazing show. Why did I just read about it because it's all over the place? What channel sit on it Because it's all over the place. What show? Let's sit on. It's on TLC. I tweet about it all the time. OK, never heard of it.

I watched Girls on HBO. Yes. Have you seen it? Shot up. Have you talked to me about it? I've forgot. I watched how many time. Oh my god.

I mentioned it on the show. It's a billion times amazing I watched all episodes last Sunday. I cannot believe that your disasking me if I see girls How can I mention it on this show a billion times? How did I miss it? It's she Lena Durham Dunham listeners What did I miss it? It's, she, Lena Dunham? Listeners. She's, she wrote it and directs it and stars in it. And then she does all the commentary after I love it. I love it.

It's so good. It's, it's like sex in the city, but real, like struggling. I hate when everyone compares everything to sex in the city. But it's like women in their 20s, struggling in Brooklyn, trying to make it. It's so real and the characters are so interested. I love it. It's so good. Okay, so what's I watch next?

Because I'm really into my television now. What? Just the- Right now I'm just watching ridiculous television. There's nothing good about you. That's all you watch. But no, but I've been doing anything in 20 years. I'm watching like Big Ange and you're not going to like Big Ange.

No, what will I like though? Tell me something like girls. Like girls? I'm not watching anything like that right. No, what will I like though? Tell me something like girls. Like girls? I'm not watching anything like that right now. But that you've seen historically. Are there other good HBO shows? How do you make it? Yeah, how to make it in America?

Maybe that's still on on demand. I got canceled, but it's really good. Okay. You would, I think you would really like it. Okay. Write down how to make it in America. It's on HBO. Yeah, it got canceled though.

Why would they do that other than it won't be on? But no, it should be it might be no, they usually just friggin do the stuff that they're gonna renew Yeah, because they don't because they're like why would I want you to watch this show if we're not bringing it back? Terrible it was a good show too Yeah, that's my only recommendations. I'm sorry. I'll do some research Do some research because I haven't seen like right now watching shocked What ridiculous television like what like the Kardashians go to Hawaii? Kardashians no they go to like you know to heat or something right and then I watch here comes honey boo boo then I want what the hell is that about? Okay, so there was a television show called toddlers and terrorists right I've, I've heard of that. Okay. And then there was one,

there was one kid that she went by Honey Boo Boo, right? And then she would say, Honey Boo Boo child, like that was her like, her, her saying and her mom was like super crazy. So then she got her own spin off show. And so the spin off show is, they call each other white trash. So I can say white can say white trash they're like really like hikish and so they have a show called here it comes on you boo-boo and it just follows their lives and you know their day-to-day and how just the little girl wants to be in

pageants and stuff like that. It is hilarious It is really a good insight on middle America. Okay, got it. What do they live like Michigan or something? Which is where I'm from. I kinda see your something. I'm gonna say got it. Okay, I gotta check it out. It's on TLC.

I'm gonna watch TV tonight, maybe. Okay. Every time I mention it, people said they've become addicted. No way. I wanna be addicted. Okay, some other stuff about virginity, about losing your v card. We got to wrap this part of it up.

Real quick, no, sorry. No, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Not too. Real quick, listeners of this show, if you can find the times that I mentioned girls, please email the show, say what episodes I've mentioned, like how many times I've mentioned it. There's been hundreds of episodes.

But if you if people can recollect when I mentioned the TV show girls, I do remember. They heard me saying it before. No, don't do it. Or they said, or at least say, oh yeah, I heard men as mentioned the TV show girls. Email the show. Was it like a year ago? I hope that you're going to laugh.

How many years ago did you mention? I'm going to say, have you heard of this TV show girl? I didn't say if you heard of it. I said I watched it. I knew that you would watch it. Right. Don't try a backtrack or what are you, a politician? Um, okay.

So listen. Let's finish this up. Some other stuff about losing your V card. Okay. Not every guy is going to be a jerk about wearing condoms. It's a myth that dudes all want to get out of wearing condom. If a guy is pressuring you to bear back, lose him.

Always use a condom, always, always, always. Like it prevents sexually transmitted diseases that don't care if he pulls out, you've got to use a condom, you do not want to be 16 and pregnant, okay? You might bleed or you might not. Some people don't bleed at all their first time, but some bleed a lot and you might want to be prepared.

Putting a towel down beforehand is always an option. So, or do it on a dark sheet. A word on drinking. There is an argument for being drunk your first time and that is everything hurts less when you're wasted. That's what menace thinks about sex. But I think I do endorse drunken sex. I like it. But not for your first time. No way. Do not be drunk your first time. Keep in mind that sex is best when you're so

burn off to feel something at least once you get past the whole virginity thing. So I hope that shed some light on virginity for people because literally like so many, so many questions about it. And I was just like, I want to help the world have good sex. And I want you all, your takeaway message to be here is like not to trip on it, because no one's expecting you to be this perfect performer and just be in the moment.

Focus on your breath. Breath is a really important part of sex. because no one's expecting you to be this perfect performer and just be in the moment. Focus on your breath. Breath is a really important part of sex. And so if you're like in your head and you're like, what's he thinking? And should I have my important face on? And do I look fat? And if you're like in your mind

and you're obsessing about all these things, it's not gonna be a good experience. So just be connected with your partner. Look each other in the eyes. Go with it. All that stuff. Have connected sex. Yes. Don't be tripping. Because a lot of these people, a lot of these emails, people are tripping you.

They're overthinking things. I know, everyone overthinks things. So I just don't want them to. Overthink it. So that is what we've got for you today. And I am so happy that it is Friday, TGIF. Everyone, I've got an iPhone app. It is called Kegel Camp.

Kegel exercises improve your sex life for men and for women. It will help you have longer struggle orgasms. It'll help you with premature ejaculation. You do the exercise five minutes, three minutes a day. And you use the app three minutes a day and it's called Kegel Camp. You could download it for your iPhone, and you should check it out, because it's really important for your sexual health and well-being. And it reminds you to do them and it walks you through it, because doctors always tell you that you

should do them, but you never remember to do them. So it's a very been useful popular app. Okay. Anything else you'd like to add, Matt, is on this Friday. Well, thank you for listening to us on XM Radio. It's so fun. If you hear us on XM Email me, feedback at sexwithmly.com. If you have a mobile phone and you're not by a computer to listen to the show, you can download an app. It's called Stitcher.

It's STITCHER. It's wholly free. It's for Android. It's even for your iPad or your tablet. It's an easy way to listen to podcasts Yeah, if you love podcasts easy. I thought we have we have podcast Citroen 10,000 podcasts on any topic under the sun. Oh, anything can think of literally and you just you don't need to download it Through iTunes you can just stream it on your phone and then it's done. Yeah, so you can do the best way to do it. All you gotta do is either type in sex, the Emily or just sex. Just sex?

We come up first. Yeah. Don't we? Yeah, yeah. Pop right up. Pop right up. And then you can start streaming the show on the go. And then you can like, you know what I do when I'm with my friends?

We plug it into the car and we listen. Do you listen to sex, Emily? Yeah. Shut up. Where? With your friends. Yeah. Do they like it? They like it.

That's so funny because I never listened to the show after. But I think I'd be better if I did. I think it would help me with my friends. Yeah. Do they like it? They like it. That's so funny because I never listened to the show after. But I think I'd be better if I did. I think it would help me with my life. But I'm going to work on it. OK, everyone. So that's what I got for you. Yeah, check out our podcast. Check out our blog.

We're updating it every day, few times a day with more information and stuff like that. And so you got to check it out at sexwithamily.com. And what? Did you mention the 101 sex tip? Yeah, I got an app called 101 Sex Tips from Sex with Emily. You can also down that.

It will spice up your sex life. My book is Hot Sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. That will spice up your sex life. It has amazing pictures. So that's what we got for you. Thanks everyone for listening to us. Have a great weekend.

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