Sex With Emily - SWE: Masturbation

Episode Date: May 11, 2013

I know you probably don't need a month to remind you to masturbate. But May is masturbation month! In honor of self-love, Emily tells you how to masturbate in way that actually makes you better at sex. Emily keeps on getting emails from women who aren't orgasming during sex! They have no problem getting it done on their own but can't get there with their partner. Emily shows you how to have an amazing orgasm whether you're on your own or sharing the love. If you're interested in good clean sex and improving your sex life, check out my sponsors: Crazy Girl, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Crazy Girl. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a bike on me. Hey, Evelyn You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand. Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common only? What do you mean like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Your list needs to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.

For more information, go to sexwithamily.com where you will. Right now, sign up, right you'll see an opt-in box where you put in your mailing address or email address and I will never spam you, never send your list. All I want to do, never send your name, all I want to do is give you my free report, the five biggest mistakes women are making in bed, and the five biggest mistakes men are making in bed. It's a brand new free report, and we want to give it our telever listeners. And I want you to listen to our podcast. We've got hundreds of podcasts. We got the Menace our podcast. We've got hundreds of podcasts. We got the Menace Emily podcast.

I've been doing some interviews with some fun, interesting, sexually competent people here in Los Angeles, people have been traveling through, people who do study seduction and tantra and a bunch of other things. So there will be a lot of different types of podcasts that you might like. But yeah, check out our website,

follow me on Twitter, sex with Emily, follow me on Facebook, sex with Emily, and I'm with Menace. What's up guys? Hello, how you doing today? I'm fabulous. I wanted to be the first probably

to wish you a happy masturbation month. Okay. Yeah, I forgot it was masturbation month. I've been seeing that on the internet. I've been, and some people are probably like, why do we need a month for it? I masturbate every day. And that might be true.

And there's nothing wrong with that. But this is a month where we really, really celebrate. And we're going to get into what masturbation month is. We're going to get into some actually surprising tips for men and women, how to even make masturbation better Because after all masturbation is sex with someone you love We will also be reading your emails that you sent to feedback at sex at me.com men It's we've had this crazy

Trend of emails like literally one woman after a next is asking me the same sexual question. So I was like, oh my god, we got to talk about this today too. So we're going to get into that in a little bit. I like it. I like it. And then that's what we're doing today. Yes. So we're going to be giving you some sexual tips.

Mutual masturbation is one of my favorite things in the whole world. And I figure that mutual masturbation is the kind of thing that you should do with your partner ASAP Because you learn what they like they show you how they masturbate you show them what you like everyone's happy. So we'll talk about that too Manus you you're not a big mutual masturbation fan. Are you? Mutual masturbation I guess if you don't have contraception. Right. But menist is all about just having sex. But, but, but, but also he just about bony. Oh, menist one, you're something funny. So right now, if you guys don't know this, I'm hosting love line. I'm co-guessed co-hosting the Love Line show with Dr. Drew and Mike

Catharwood, which is on like 50 radio stations across the United States, but wherever you are, you can watch or listen live, LoveLineShow.com for free. Long story short, last night I actually did it last night instead. We might Catharwood, who's been a long time host and you've known him for a long time He's like Emily what's up with our buddy menace like why isn't he gone back to me? I talked about him on the show yesterday and I'm like he just tweeted us and he's like He's like what do you like in bed? What kind of women does he date you restarted talking about you during the show? So I said oh really?

Yeah, nice. Oh, yeah, I I heard about something next day that he said, hi to me on the show. I just, I live right next to the station. So once I leave, we're at your app. But we talked about you. But if you guys don't know Loveline, it's with Dr. Drew. He's a renowned, you know, addiction specialist, sex specialist.

We get to do it every Thursday night. It's really fun. You should check it out. and we talk about men as sometimes nice nice baby So and then what else I just got back from New York I was in New York for a few days, which was very exciting. I Was on the Joy Bayharshow

Mm-hmm. Oh you were I love her. Yeah, she's amazing. Mm-hmm. Oh, you were. I love her, man. Yes. Oh my God, I'll send you the clip. I'll send you the clip. I was down with Dr. Ian Kurner, who is a renowned sex therapist that I've always read about for years. And we talked about the female Viagra, and she was like obsessed with Kaggle Camp.

She was like, what do you mean, Kaggle Camp? So we talked all about my iPhone app, Kaggle Camp, which helps women have stronger orgasms and men and all that stuff And it was just funny. We talked about female Viagra and it was a it was a hoot It was a hoot. I did a bunch of other press stuff too. It was fun. What have you been up to, Manus? What's the latest? The latest is I'm getting a new vehicle this weekend. I will be in Los Angeles for 20 hours So I will try to fit you in. I What am I doing? Today, it's May, right? So I got a couple of music festivals on There's a big one in Napa called the Botterock Music Festival. I'll be out there. I

Got to go to Chico, because my sister's graduating college. Oh, you're such a good bro. And then May and then June. Late June I'll be in Las Vegas and that's about it with me. I don't know, nothing too crazy. How's the woman?

How's the little woman? Good. She's the woman? How's the little little woman? Good. She's, you know, she's working and shopping. So that's good. Shopping on your dime? Not on my dime on her own dime, which is awesome. Did I tell you that she bought these $1,700 Chanel shoes that are pretty cool? I think you would like a lot

oh my god i love her what's i should shake and i can borrow i think it's uh... what a thirty six whatever that is uh... i love that you know thirty six i love that you know what's i should thirty six or thirty six and half let me ask you something about women's clothing. All right, please go ahead What the hell is up with oh

She's a one. She's a two. She's a three and then but then we have you know, we have our sizes 32 36 are 36 32 or 30 You know like three yes Why all these all these freaking dumb numbers and why like a man is a man is like a 10 and a half But a women is like freaking 46 Why do you make it so complicated when it comes to women's

We have European sizes. We have you you know different sizes from different countries. So yeah, like a 37 is a 7, a 36 is a size 6, one three five seven is typically junior sizes. And for waste we have like the same thing as men 24 I'm like a 24 inch waste size zero. I don't know. It's a pain in the ass. I'm sorry, honey, but at least you're freaking buying your girl $800 shoes. Can I just talk? No guys buying me those kind of shoes right now. And you know what?

I'm a size 7 everyone. I want these YSL pumps that if you love sex with Emily, and you can afford about $850 right now, I would love a pair of pumps. I would freaking promote you. I would kiss you. Maybe not with tongue,. I would kiss you. Maybe not with tongue, but I would give you a really really big kiss. If you bought me these shoes I wanted.

And here's another thing I want to announce. If you guys want to use our Amazon link, like the next time you decide to go buy some kitty litter on Amazon or whatever you do, just click on the hot sex book link on my products page. That's where my book is and order all your Amazon stuff through my going and entering through my book because then I'll get some kind of points. I thought you were about to say I was about to say you had an Amazon wishlist. No, but I should do an Amazon wishlist. You should. You'd just be like, just do it undercover. Oh, these are my favorite things, and you can buy them for me if you want.

That's a great idea. Dude, I know so many suicide girls that all they list are Amazon wish list and people buy them stuff all the time, all the time. Oh my God, well, I didn't know that. Okay, well, I need to do that. What's your what's your fair pair of shoes right now? What kind? I Would love a pair of Chloe boot. Chloe's really expensive, but I love Chloe boots. Chloe. I love I want a pair of YSL pumps

You've seen Laurent. He's saying Laurent. Yeah, I would like a pair of like blacks, snakeskin pumps, high heels. That's really what I would love. Yeah. So I'm surprised, you know, we have so many people that are into feet, foot-fetched people. I will fucking take pictures of my feet, you guys. So naked with your shoes.

I will do a waist- Pornow of me in the $900 YSL that you've shipped me. I'm not kidding you. My email address is feedback at sex at elm.com. I will do that for you Wow and like speaking of foot fetishes. Here's the thing or fetishes in general I think that it's really hot when you guys suck on your toes after you take a shower together. Because otherwise, it's just you have too many issues around it. I understand, it's sweaty out. I live in Los Angeles, whatever, it's sweaty.

Take a shower with your partner, take a bath, and then suck on her feet. It feels really good. I had a guy do that to me recently and it was really hot and he does not have a foot finish. He just did it for a second. It was really turned me on because reflexology. I'm beginning a lot of foot massages lately and they really, you know, there's different pressure points on your foot that are connected different parts of your body and it's just,

it's a really sensual to suck on a woman's toes. You might have grossed out you are like, wash her feet first or whatever. I understand that you might have issues with it But I'm gonna switch but look what do you think about that? It's hot. Have you ever stuck in a woman's toes? I have not no I have no interest in doing that but it's I've been listening to How are stern a lot lately probably in the past month and he has come Because I finally broke down and just got serious. Okay.

So I radio because I've been listening to Howard Stern clips on YouTube and I'm just like, ah, they're always a day behind so I want to listen to him fresh. Awesome. And he has a listener that I calls in all the time that it's just all about the feet. And the thing is, we've been trying to do this ever since the show started just to get somebody that's into it, just to explain

why. You know, and then every time we talk to somebody that's into it, though, they can't explain why. They're just like, Oh, that's just what I, that's just what I like. It's different for everybody. Like, like, maybe they are their first grade teacher head sexy open toe shoes on and they associated that first sexual feeling that they had for their first grade teacher to her feet. Yeah, but at least like at least say that you know, but none of them can ever come up with anything. Okay, if you have a foot fetish email us explain to us men is never understands it. Feedback, it's sexwithemily.com.

We read all of your emails and we freaking love them. You're right, but here's another thing. So menis, so I've kind of been dating this guy a little bit, okay? I'm gonna be honest. Not that I'm not honest. I heard that whenever you say I'm gonna be honest, that it immediately cancels out everything that you previously stated

Because it's like saying I have not yet been honest, but I have been honest all throughout the show Okay, so this guy this is like a casual thing whatever were in New York He's like I want to take you lingerie shopping which we've talked about lingerie on the show a whole bunch and I Don't really have any, like I have sexy like boy shorts and lacy things, but I never like went with a guy lingerie shopping. Maybe I don't know, I just never did.

Like guys aren't really into it as much it seems. But he was like, oh I just, I'm like, but in a way, I was like, well I wanna see what he thinks of sexy because if he finds something sexy, like I'll feel sexy knowing that he thinks it's that, I didn't know. So we go to this department store and we go to New York and we were both there for business and we went to this lingerie store and everything he was picking out was like so not my taste. It was like pink, it was like pink, ruffly, like not not at pink purple. It was purple and pink and like, ruffly, like, little

baby doll, like, not my style. Like, I'm much more like black lace or like cotton white or I don't know, I'm just much more neutral colors. But I decided, like, I'll just get, like, what he likes, because if he finds it hot and sexy, then I should do it. Like, what do you know? But then I was like, but if I don't feel sexy in it, then maybe I shouldn't buy it. So I got one thing that I felt sexy and one thing that he thought I was sexy in and we'll see what happens.

We haven't tried out yet. See, why is it have to be about you? Don't you dress up for people for, I mean, don't you dress up for other people? So why do you care what you're wearing? Because I tried it on and I didn't feel like, okay, I usually I know what looks I think that I know what makes me feel sexy. I think that every woman knows, you know, like I know that I

like I always wear high heels, right? It's not because I have a short, it's not because I have a short complex. It's just makes me feel like powerful and strong and whatever. Like I always show my arms. I wear tank tops. Like, I just, I like, there's certain things like I don't do low cut. The point is you know that about your clothes. So trying on this really piece of laundry wasn't me, but I saw that he got turned on, so I got it.

And it is about turning your partner on and therefore I will be turned on because maybe he will be too. And you don't like lingerie, right? No, I think of like cheesy, I'm an 80s kid, so I think of like cheesy 80s stuff when lingerie comes up. Because I feel, I look back at all the airbrushed posters of women in cheesy 80s lingerie.

And so I just kind of laugh at it. You know, so I'm not really, I'm not really into it. I got it. Most guys like guys are kind of into sexy. Like I like the fact that he pays attention to it. I like the fact that he's like, I want to see you and these are the things. Like that makes me feel hot.

And so I think that's a really good lesson for people to learn that like tell you like it made me like the fact that he had visions of me in certain things. And like I always like think I dress pretty sexy, but I do. I mean, if I don't have like a bunch of laundry, I think I'm, you know, when he knows that, like, anyway, I think it's good to talk to your partner about what you like if you care what she wears. And you should tell him what you think is hot. And it's sexy. And just trust just trust me people okay I don't need to get into it more. So another thing that happened in New York was I went to this meeting at this public relations firm for a new product line that I've coming out that I cannot mention yet but it's

coming out in July and it's gonna be huge and it's gonna rock everyone's world and it is not a sex toy that's all I going to say right now. But this was one of those typical like PR firms in New York like 60 hot blinds in their 20s like all sitting around cubicles like adorable right. So we were all talking and they're like oh my god one of them had just Instagrammed a copy of my book hot sex. It's called hot sex so we're two other things you can try. She's like, oh my god, I love your book blah blah blah. We were talking and then this one girl after the next, they started like talking to me. She's like, I've been with my husband for 12 years. I haven't given, I haven't performed oral sex on him in about eight of those years. And she's like, I don't like the taste of semen. And this other woman was like,

I don't even know if I'm doing it right. I realize that women have so many insecurities around performing oral sex correctly on men. And then I told them about mask, you know, one of our mask sexual flavors, the MISQE, just go to sexualflavors.com. And these women literally fell off their chairs when I told them that mask makes these like listarine strips that are like strawberry chocolate watermelon mango and you put it on your tongue 20 minutes before you perform oral sex on a man and literally he can ejaculate in your mouth and it will taste like a strawberry smoothie if you use strawberry whatever. It was amazing and they were freaking out. So I'm having masks send them like literally the biggest box of mask products that they've

ever seen. They couldn't believe it existed. So I feel like they were all the tar, whatever reason these women all had fewer blow jobs. Nice. I like it. And semen. I don't mind semen, but a lot of women are like, I don't like the semen, I don't like the taste. So it was a type of girls you don't marry. Right? Is your girlfriend still performing oral sex on you? Yeah, I'm fine. And fine. I'm not like, I haven't been a relationship

20 years. So to have the, it was type of those type of issues Okay, so what is there anything else that you need to share with me before I move into the emails from the people? No, but I kind of brought this up some sex with that many listeners have been sending me links for updates on it so there's this team mom, Farah, who I can't effing stand that Dr. Drew talks to you all the time on the team on reunions. And she pretended that she was going to have a sex tape leaked, but she was really selling it to vivid video to put out. And she sold it. So apparently it's going to be coming out. It's it's

it's anyone care does anyone care she like what's hard does anyone want to see team on my team team naked. She well she's definitely the one of the best looking ones out of the team moms, but she is the absolutely like fucking most annoying person on the planet. But probably like be the next big card asher. No, you won't be like, no, no, because she just doesn't, she just noise the shit out of people. Sorry, I'm using, you know, I don't use that much foul language. We don't use the family, but this but sometimes I just say I swore to. This girl that gets me so heated,

because it's just how dumb she is, but she, I apparently sold it for a million dollars to do a bit of video. Oh, good for her. Good for her, so much to make money off reality, GV. And she's called, I think it's called like backdoor team mom or something like that. Backdoor team mom, does that mean that she's got anal sex scenes?

It might be, yeah. Backdoor team moms, classy lady. Classy lady, back door, that's what I'm gonna name my porn oh, back door. So, what is your porn name, menace? My porn name? Yeah.

I don't know, you're gonna have to get back to me. Do you have one? Forget it. Yes. It's your middle name and it's your first pet, right? Or the street you grew up on. Your first pet, Robert Bogart? Oh, that's perfect. Robert Bogart?

Yeah. Bogart sounds like you have a massive penis. Mine would be my middle name is Hope and my first animal was pumpkin. Pumpkin. So, Hope Pumpkin. Okay, anyway. Let's move into some emails. All right, do it. I like hearing from the people. I know, I love it. So thanks everyone for emailing us at feedback at sexwithemily.com. I absolutely am obsessed with hearing from you. I love it. You can email directly from the website. And like I said earlier, sign up for our mailing list because we will not spam you. We will only improve your sex life with some tips when you want them.

Okay. And a free report on the mistakes you're making in bed. Okay. Dear Emily. Oh, here's the triumphant. And a free report on the mistakes you're making in bed. Okay. Dear Emily. Oh, here's the tri-menace. Okay. Ready? I'm reading just one of them, but I got like four in a row in one, like in a span of 24 hours from women. Like if you recall in the past menace during the show, there was like a few years ago, we all of a sudden had like this friends with benefits craze. like every other email we received from listeners were about like friends benefits relationships and then like another one was all about

like I remember it was about what was the other trend that was oh well the hand job debate whatever so okay so here's one that has been coming up not Not being, and this is very, very apropos to the topic of today's show, which is masturbation month and masturbation. So she says, dear Emily, after reading your answer to Liz, this is on my website because I answer questions on my website, after reading your answer to Liz about her not being able to masturbate, it reminded me that I am completely opposite. I have no problem getting the job done by myself and I've never had an orgasm with a man and to be honest I'm tired of faking

it. What can I do? Signed Alison. So she says that she's so the problem is she was, she was, she was, what she's referring to as an email from a woman who's not able to masturbate alone or with a partner, which is what I'm talking about as a woman who is not able to masturbate alone or with a partner, which is what I'm talking about as a trend. I've heard from so many women in the last few days, I mean in the last 48 hours, 72 hours from women who are unable to masturbate, unable to have orgasms alone or with a partner. So here's a deal, Allison. You're totally...

This is so common. You probably need more clitoral stimulation to get you there. Most women do. The problem is a lot of men, they get going, they do the jackhammer, they're like, I always say they do the jackhammer, they're pounding away, they're thrusting away at you and they're about to orgasm because that feels really good for them. Unfortunately, that misses the clitoris, which is what a lot of women need, their clitoral nerves, stimulated during sex with their 8,000 nerve endings.

It feels amazing. You're probably not getting enough. So not only do 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, many require lots of it. So you're not getting enough when you're with the man. Most sex positions also offer no collateral stimulation. So when you're on top though, you experience more clitoral stimulation but sometimes it's not enough. So my recommendation. Rob your clitorist during sex or user vibrator. This helps a lot. I'm telling you, they're the most amazing clitoral vibrators of the market right now that you can use during sex. You put the palm of your hand, they make no noise, they're silicone, they wash easily,

they're waterproof. I suggest the Siri SA RE. It's a rechargeable vibrator from Lilo. It's a rechargeable vibrator from Lilo. And you can get, like as always, at goodvibes.com, use coupon code GVMLE20. You get 20% off orders of $100 or more. I love the series. It's lightweight. It's portable. You can put on your clitoris. If he's inside of you, it will help you get orgasm.

If you're looking for more alone time, Allison, because we're also talking about women, a lot of women who can't orgasm with their partners. You can also try mutual masturbation, show him what you do when you're alone and see if he can mimic that as well. If you're interested in some more G-spot time, because a lot of women need a clitoral orgasm before their G-spot, because they're clitoris and gorges, and when it does with blood, it stimulates G-spot because they're clitoris and gorges and when it does with blood it stimulates G-spots. So you can try the Fifi waterproof rechargeable vibrator. It's like kind of like a

modern twist on the rabbit. It has internal and external simulation or if you want something that actually feels like you're having sex. Oh my god, I got this at the Las Vegas show. I went to the toy show in Las Vegas. It's called the Stronic Eans thruster, okay? STRONIC, wait, it's STRONIC, and I think it's by fun factory. It's this vibrator menace. It's not a vibrator. It's a pulsator. It pulses.

It feels like you're getting F'd. Coyote from Good Vibrations, who is the top buyer, told me it feels like it's actually Fingue. It thrusts you. It doesn't vibrate you. So those are some things to try. How about that? I like it. Use coupon code gvmle20goodvibes.com. But also stop faking it with your partner, Allison. Every single woman listening who's faking it and menace many women do do I used to do it You are doing a disservice not only to your partner for not only to your partner and not only to yourself because you're not having an orgasm, but he thinks he's doing great

He thinks everything he's doing is right on and then you dig your your whole little bit deeper if you know what I mean Because you're not telling him what makes you feel good. He's assuming it's good It's just bad messaging all around rather than faking it because you probably want it him what makes you feel good. He's assuming it's good. It's just bad messaging all around. Rather than faking it because you probably want it over with because it's taking too long and you're insecure about the time that's taking and the clock is taking. It's been 20 minutes and you have an orgasm and then you fake it.

Show him what feels good. Use a vibrator. Use your fingers. Don't fake it. Next email. Unless you have anything to add menace. Well, no, just wanted to say that all the information that you always give out is available on sexwithamely.com. Sometimes we forget to say that. Absolutely.

at sexwithamely.com is your new is your place to go everything. Yeah, if you're if you're listening to this in the car you might not be able to go wait, wait, what's that? Just, you know, hit up sexadamily.com. Tom, they can listen on Stitcher too. Yes, listen to Stitcher, download Stitcher. It's a free mobile app available on your smartphone and your tablet and you can listen to sex with Emily.

Entirely for free. All you do is download it, you type in sex, it would be the number one thing, or if you wanna, you know, you're not lazy, you can type in Sex with Emily, and listen to the show wherever you go. It's pretty awesome. It's pretty forget awesome.

Thank you for doing that, Madness. Okay. Hi, Emily. I've been listening to your podcast for months and I absolutely love it You've helped me become so much more confident with women about myself. I'm a 25-year-old I'm 25 years old and I'm a virgin the problem is I can have sex if I want it But I'm afraid girls hit on me all the time and I usually end up stopping things before they get intimate just because of my irrational fears I am on circumcised.

I obviously can roll my skin back and clean it in the shower when it's not hard, but I always have a hard time pulling it all the way back when it is hard. My fears that will get pulled back during sacks and it will hurt or the skin will get stuck because I read that could happen to uncircumcised penises. How do I get over this signed Andrew? Okay, Andrew, here's a thing. If you do experience pain when you actually do have intercourse, you should consult your doctor. But honestly, honey, you shouldn't. You might be more sensitive because you're on circumcised, but it's uncircumcised, which is actually a good thing. What I hear is that, you know, there is a debate that men who are uncircumcised are much more sensitive

in a good way, but of course, how can you measure one man's orgasm against another? But you shouldn't experience pain, so I don't know where you heard this from, and I think it is a little irrational. So you might be more sensitive because you are in circumcised in a good way, but it shouldn't be too noticeable. And I personally have not met any men who have experienced any pain from it and in my personal experience with uncircumcised men, they've been like super highly sexual really into it and everything I did was fine and I didn't

hurt anything and they seemed really happy and it wasn't a big deal and don't worry about it at all. I think that it's hot and women would be into it and just show them what you like. Again, this is a remusel. I know that when you do our, like, performing a hand job on a, or even oral sex on a circumference penis, they say that you pull down the foreskin. So if you pull the whole penis down to the bottom

and you hold your hand around the ram of the penis, that if you hold it taught, that that feels good. So I don't know, I'm not sure about you Andrew, but again, show your partner what you like. Say this feels really good to me. She probably doesn't know. Should we really intuit? If you're really into it, just be confident. Be like, this is my penis baby, suck it. He's kidding. Um, yeah. So, okay. Uh, and Matt, has have you ever come across uncircumcised penises? Friends who have worried about it or anything? Uh, friends that are worried about it?

No, they're kind of proud of it. Which I, you know, uh... I think they should be. Yeah, I don't know. There's always a joke that is, you you know an ant eater and stuff like that but that's you know if you like it rocket you know saying some guys later on in life which I think is freaking crazy get circumcised like you know when they're 30 something I would I would die I would die to I would die too.

I would die. I don't, I do not know. I don't do that. I go, if you gone this, if you gone this long with it, you're good. Don't even worry about it. Yeah, don't worry about it. Okay. Do you have any, I'm with a second man that does not ejaculate, can stay

hard for a long time, but never comes. What's up with that? Do not think this one is on any medication. I'm lucky blessed to be very orgasmic and wonder if I could be intimidating. Please advise thanks Emily. Yes, I don't mind giving BJs but get bored after world

because they still don't come. Signed Mandy. Wow. Okay, yeah. Yeah, so, Manas, we've heard this before. This comes up. This is also very, very common. It's called delayed ejaculation.

They also call it inhibited ejaculation. And it's the inability to ejaculate or persistent difficulty in achieving orgasm despite having the presence of a normal sexual desire and normal sexual stimulation. So, you're totally, you're guy. He's stimulated, he's turned on, but he's not able to orgasm. Usually, you know, a lot of men can after a few active thrusts, but a lot of men cannot after prolonged intercourse lasting 30 to 45 minutes or more. In most

cases, delayed ejaculation presents the condition in which the mantin climax and ejaculate only during masturbation, which is what I've heard from a lot of men, but not during sexual intercourse. So it's very common in one of the male sexual challenges that men face. But it can also be a side-effective medication. So again, you've said he's not a medication. What's the good thing? Does he smoke pie?

Does he do drugs? Does he smoke pie? Does he do drugs? Does he smoke cigarettes? These can all affect your ejacletory potential. In one survey, 8% of men reported on A.O. being achieved at Chief Organism over a two-month period or longer than the previous year. So then they just figure that every month it's getting a little harder. So it's also, they say, lot of you, the psychological causes, I'll say, the psychological causes,

these, they can be insufficient sleep, distraction, doing to worry, stress, anxiety, one of the one number one killers of sex drive for men and women of stress as an anxiety. But delayed ejaculation is something that you can work on. There's a great book, The Multi-Orgasmic Man, you can work on it, but I would get checked out by your doctor and check out some psychological factors

that could be going on. If you've got a lot of stress in your life, all that stuff, I would talk to your partner about it. Have you heard this one before, Matt, as we've heard this before? It's common, either men come too quickly or they think they come too not long, not quick enough. Yeah, a lot of guys, they also their fear of they hold it in because they

fear that they can't go long enough, you know, they hold it in and then they pass the point of no return. Yeah. Right. But, um, keep on talking. I have to step out for a second. I'll be right back. Don't worry. I'm just going to talk about menace. Just talk about it. I'll be still.

I'll still be listening. I'll be right back. Sorry. Okay. Okay. Emergency. Okay. Got emergency. Emergency. Dear Emily. I remember you can always email me at feedback at sex with

Emily.com through Twitter. Sex with Emily are on Facebook. Sex with Emily. Okay. Dear Emily, is there something wrong with me? I've been married three times and the last two were great sex partners as long as I initiated it. All of them said they had no fantasies and none ever started the lovemaking. It's like they wanted to sex because I wanted sex, not because they wanted sex.

It would be nice to have my wife think of something in bed. I've asked and she said I'm weird or kinky and all I have a sex in my mind, sign Tim. Okay Tim, again this is, this comes up a lot. Couples are together, they've mismatched libidos, one couple wants it more than the other one. And in fact, one of the top complaints I hear from man is actually that women don't initiate sex enough and bad, which I know is kind of a bummer. I tell women all the time, like even if you just don't want to do it, fake it till you make it,

don't fake your orgasm, but fake being turned on, if you're having a browser problems, if you're having issues getting in the mood, I would say just start going along with the motions, start giving a back massage, maybe he can start giving you a back massage and start going through it. So I would say she has no fantasies. That's, I always say to couples,

talk about your fantasies, but it sounds like she doesn't have any, she doesn't masturbate, and that she's not really thinking about sex in her spare time. Like a lot of people like men do more, I know a lot of women think about sex 24 or 7. So I would say that you got ease into this one. I would ask her maybe what are the most memorable times that we've had sex together.

You've married, you could say if you had a name at the top three things that turned you on sexually that we did together, you know, she might talk about the time in France when you went to Villa, she could talk about the time she, you know, you went down on her in her car. I don't know. I don't know what she finds romantic, but these again, you have to listen to what a woman says. Woman, she will tell you what she wants. So you just might not be the fantasy question. It might be other questions. Now also does she masturbate? Does she know her body has she had orgasms before she might be you know We're this show that we're talking about today's all about orgasms moving into masturbation next because masturbation month Yay

masturbation month she might need a toy. She might need a toy. What'd you say? She might need a toy. What did you say? Oh my god so much masturbation all the time for the entire month of May She might need to start to turn herself on she might need to find a rock and sex toys She might need to do some things on her own that aren't turned around I think that you're saying that it would be nice if your wife would think up some things in bed And you know she probably thinks it would be nice if you, you know, paid the bills more on time. I don't know what your issue is, but my book had sex over 200 things you can try tonight. I'm not just saying this because it's my book.

It actually was made for couples who have a difficult time talking about sex on their own. It's like the new joy of sex. It's got pictures. It's got illustrations. So it's not intimidating. And you can flip to any page you want and just be like, hey honey, does that look interesting to you sex in the shower? See what she says. It has 200 things that are all totally doable. So just again, start having the dialogue. Ask her about erotic, a porn.

Try to, you know, see, if not, you can see a sex counselor. If this is a deal breaker in your marriage I'm telling you every couple who has sex Challenges and their relationship need to make it a priority because it will wreak havoc in your relationship the more you let it go I'm saying No, I'm saying menace you back Okay, so here's a deal what is masturbation month? First of all, good vibrations to love, sci-fi, their base in San Francisco. They found in natural, they found in

national masturbation month in 1995 because of the controversy surrounding the firing of former Clinton administration surgeon, General Joyce and Elders. Do you remember this manace in 1995? Okay, so in 1995, this was a huge deal. I actually worked in politics at the time. Dois and elders was the surgeon general. She was, she purported, teaching masturbation, or talking about masturbation in schools during sex ed. People freaked out and got her fired,

because she talked about, she wanted to talk about masturbation in schools So good vibrations created natural masturbation national masturbation month in May of 1995 To commemorate this amazing work by Joyce and Elders because the truth is I'm a I'm a friggin product of masturbation not being talked about in schools. I did not learn how to, I didn't even occur to me to masturbate. I didn't even know to masturbate. I didn't even know to touch myself. I never once sat there bed thinking, oh, maybe I'll touch my vagina. I'll touch my breasts.

I didn't know if someone had said to me in school, oh, this feels really good. Now, maybe I'm just a little dense in this area and a lot of other kids figured it out, but I didn't. So I would have liked someone talk about masturbation during my sex education Well, that's a great alternative, you know if they want if they talk about all this You know holding out and tell your married type stuff then why don't they promote this, you know? Exactly exactly it's totally way to do it. So, um, so, so she

evoked such a conservative wrath when she said masturbation has a place in sex. So how do women masturbate? Let's talk about that. To cumbers bananas. Let's first talk about trills. To cumbers bananas remote controls exactly whatever they want. Um, create an atmosphere for a rousal. So this is for women. So I always tell women that they need if you don't know your own body as well. If you haven't spent a lot of time masturbating,

if you haven't spent time alone figuring out your body, and you're really frustrated because your partner's not getting you off, your partner's not getting you there, it's because you don't know your own body. So create an atmosphere for a rousal. I don't know what it is. It could be lock in your doors, it could be taken in bath, it could be lighting an ambiance with candles, whatever, you know, music, whatever turns you on. Don't be gold driven, you might not have an

orgasm right away. So I would say, you know, if you're trying to watch CNN or something that's probably not going to work, but if you listen to some music, have a glass of wine. This is one case where I say, takes away some of your inhibitions, have a glass of wine, and relax. Try to reduce some meditation, try to feel mentally uncluttered, and fill your mind with some super sexy thoughts. So whatever that is for you, you can get in the mood, you can watch some erratica, you can take a shower, apply body lotion, and start with the clitoris. A lot can take a shower, apply body lotion, and start with the

clitoris. A lot of women menace, as you know, clitorally vibrate. That's their first, like, the girls who have, like, orgasms age five, riding a horse or riding their bike, or clitoral orgasms. It's a lot easier for women to have clitorial orgasms and vaginal orgasms when they're learning to masturbate. So, first, you focus on the clits. If you don't know where the clitoris is, it's a small love of firm skin that gets slightly bigger and protruded when

you're aroused and it's located above your vagina and it's concealed under small folds of skin. It's sensitive especially after you climax. So first, I say it's best to start out with indirect stimulation rubbing around it up and down and circles instead of touching it directly. Because a lot of times direct stimulation like does so like a lot of guys make this mistake. They get turned on, they start fooling around with the woman and they grab her vagina. And she is like, which includes your clitoris and she's not turned on yet she's not stimulated she's not warmed up and actually hurts so don't do that even when you're masturbating start rubbing the sides of it all around it you know massage your thighs massage your

body massage your inner thighs do all that stuff that like starts turn you on just like guys should do during a four-player. So, um, right, menace? Of course. Of course, it's clear, okay. So then the G-spot. Another type of thing you could do is another type of orgasm is the G-spot. Many prefer the G-spot to regular, clitoral orgasms.

But before you start to stimulate, you gotta find it. And here's something hilarious, menace. You're gonna laugh so hard. You know how we talked about the G spot locator. Yes Somebody brought that up the other day in a meeting. He's like we should make an iPhone app locator for the G spot I'm like, uh-uh, we already called it. We've been talking about for years Years it's hard to find you You guys take your finger inside, it's the two thirds up of the jazz vaginal wall facing towards your pelvis. You can find it on my website.

I talk about it all the time. There's toys you can use to stimulate your juice pot and it's great. Actually, a man's fingers are very good at stimulating the juice pot even sometimes more than his penis. Of course. And that can be an amazing stimulation. Sorry about the agathingers are good and the end ofivirator. Okay, lube, lube, lube, lube. I cannot talk enough about lubricants.

I think lube should be openly and proudly displayed on every night's sand in America because lubricant feels good during sex. It helps women during masturbation. When you're masturbating, use lukewarm, you're clitoris, rub a little clitoral gel in there or something a little lubricant. They have clitoral gel, gel is not too, but it feels really good.

I would also say use toys, like I said, toys, if you're not having an orgasm on your own, you can get clitoral vibrators, g-spot vibrators, again, go to goodvibrations.com, use coupon code GVM-LE20 for 20% off orders of more goodvibes.com. Okay, porn! Menace, how many women do you know that watch porn? More and more lately, they are coming out saying that they are watching Seriously like tell me what are they watching tell me? More like girl on girl stuff then regular right I don't because you know guys are just not attractive when they're naked

I'm sorry at least the guys in porn. No But girls are really into porn. A lot of women like watching lesbian porn, whatever it is, there's so much great porn. And good vibes has this amazing program where you can actually rent porn directly online. You just pay like a monthly thing and it automatically is there, download, or whatever.

Which is really cool because they have couples porn and porn for women porn for men, porn for gays, porn for whatever you are bisexual Okay, erotic up Rottica Navigals to me erotic women can read erotic up novels to get them in the mood aka 50 shades of gray which is going nowhere in the universe anytime soon I'm telling you when I got back from Las Vegas a few weeks ago with the sex convention, it was all about 50 shades of grape products and the movie's coming out. Okay, now we're going to talk about men and masturbation and I got to admit this segment isn't as long.

These are a lot of men believe that are easy. They're like, I've got my hand, I can spit on my hand, I can use saliva, I can use whatever or use nothing, I've got my hand. But kegels can really help men master bait. They've been shown in studies to be effective for men who struggle with premature ejaculation. A lot of men, if you straighten your kegel muscle, which is your pee stopping muscles, it's just muscles that stop and start the flow of urine. So when you're sleeping, someone walking in the bathroom bathroom when you want to stop peeing, that's the

kegge muscles. Download my iPhone app kegge camp and it reminds you to do them and walks you through them five minutes a day. It can help with premature ejaculation and it also helps you have stronger muscles. And for women too, it helps women have stronger vaginal and pelvic muscle tone. They are used for so many sexual benefits for men. They strengthen your actions and Menace, you don't know this yet, but as men get into their 40s, you're not there yet, but you're getting close just kidding Sort of close. Um, their actions don't stay hard as long and they need to kegels. No I'm telling you men. And I know first hand. So there's this also max for men makes max

Satisfaction masturbation max satisfaction masturbation rub one out cream. So here's a thing It's a million times better than your rough hand alone and this stuff feels amazing When you just need to rub one out. So use coupon code Emily 25 for 25% off anything it maps the number four men calm Including their rub one out cream which is only 13 dollars But they also have all this really cool like fair-moan infused like products that like the women Will just start flocking you they have amazing shave gel after shave people are freaking out about max for men That's max the number for men

Use coupon code Emily 25 those are the products you want to buy now if you want to improve your sex life nice So that's what I got for meal masturbation. And just there's, you know, sleeves, a lot tangle. A good vibes, go to goodvibes.com, make a masturbation sleeve. If you've been wanting to like try things out, you can also play with your anus. We'll get to that on the next show.

That's what I got for you, men. Sweet, I want to thank everyone for always hitting me up on Twitter and Instagram that listen to the show. How do they do that? They can follow me, menace, just one word, M-E-N-A-C-E. I'm loving you on Love Line every Thursday night. But follow, follow Emily on Twitter, so because sometimes you just fill in on random nights too. So that's good, that's awesome.

Yeah, I was on Twitter last night. I mean, I was on Twitter. I was in love last night and so this night. So yeah, just follow me, follow me, follow me. There's lots of exciting stuff. And right now, literally, if you can do one thing for me, put your email address into my website, secrostheemlee.com.

If you're in your office, you can go to EmilyMores.com. If they don't let you pull up sex and put in your email address, I will not spam you. I will only send you a friggin' amazing report that I just wrote that will change your life. Cool. That's all I got to say. I love you, man. I'll see you soon. Okay, everyone.

Thanks for listening to Secrised the Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. FeedbackItSacrisedTheEmily.com. Thanks for listening to Sacks with Emily, was it good for you? Email me feedback at sackswithemily.com.