Sex With Emily - SWE: Masturbation Month

Episode Date: May 2, 2012

There's no time like now to rediscover yourself - but not in a Deepak Chopra kind of way, it's Masturbation Month! Emily reveals some sensitive masturbation statistics, and shows that there's more to male masturbation than plain ol' jerking around.We learn about the origins of Emily's sex life, celebrities who can't stop giving their kids stupid names. and why Hooters failed to win over San Francisco.One listener wonders why social media has destroyed the way young people communicate and another listener’s wife just won’t go down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Book into his eyes Then the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on me Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair standard, so much

The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common moment? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm so grown up.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithamily.com where you can have all your sexual sex questions answered. You drunk already? Sexual.

It's only Tuesday. It's only Tuesday and I'm not drinking. You have a couple more tunis before. I wish I had more tunis. We need more power of drinking wine. Yes. I think that would be awesome. Oh, one day when the sex with Emily show has its own studios.

It will. I promise. That's my dream. I promise we can drink as much as we want and I'll be right there with you. I know you will and it'll be good times. I can't wait for my empire. But not like the, the stitcher people

are strict or anything like that. We're just respectful. No, we just try to respect all that we don't drink a stitcher, which we are at stitcher. STITCH, CHER, it's an app you can download for your smartphone and listen to our podcast very easily. Yeah, and they have a wonderful studio here in San Francisco. Wonderful studio. That we would like to have one of our own one day, just like it.

Yeah, we want I want my own studio, I want my own amp. Oh, bar everything. That, I want food for my employees. I would like a refrigerator. You know Wendy Williams. Yes. She on her radio show, she has a full on bar. No way.

That's what I want. I wanted to do a nighttime show with a full bar where we're just drinking and hanging out like Andy Cohen in the clubhouse. Yeah. Amazing. Talking about sex. It's great. It's great.

I just figured it out. I just figured out where we're going. Because as you all know, we have a TV show coming up on Bravo TV. It looks like it's going to be the fall premiering called Misadvised. And yeah, that's going to be the start of some exciting times. And we're going to launch our new Empire after that with our own studio. I got a big announcement. It's May 1st, Mayday, but more importantly, it's Mastervation Month. Do we really need a month for masturbation?

Yes, we do. It's a masturbation month. I think people celebrate it every day. But there's a reason why you should focus on masturbation month. If you want to improve your sex life, improve your relationship to yourself, learn more about your body, your triggers, what turns you on, what turns you off, it's important to look at masturbation. So we're going to get into some tips and tricks about masturbation and some facts.

Actually, we've got some interesting facts in here and about stats and things that you can do that are a little different to shake it up. Use your other hand. We'll get into that. We've got some emails from listeners. We've got some facts in the news. Today's show is brought to you by Jimmy Jane. Use coupon code spring for $25 off purchases of $100 or more.

It's jimmyjane.com. I'm obsessed with every one of their products and you will be too if you go check them out. Nice. Nice. So, what's up? How's your day yesterday? My day was good yesterday. Why did I not seem good?

You looked at me. No yesterday? My day was good yesterday. Why did I not seem good? You looked at me. Oh, I was good. I met with my therapist in the afternoon in the evening that I hadn't seen in a while. Really? Yeah, she's more like a coach business therapist. Life coach. Kind of like a life coach, but more complex than that.

I can't explain it, but the point is she made me feel better because I haven't gone in a while I believe that everybody needs therapy so when I prescribed people and I'm like you should go to therapy It's not because I believe me. I've been on in and out of therapy my whole life. I think it's important people do their own work But I went back and she just said that I've been I'm been really stressed out lately. Yes, of course We all knows that but I've been stressed out because she's know me for like six years. She's like, this is always how you are. So I realize that this is how I'm stressed. I've got a lot going on with work.

I'm trying to make a living here, doing what I love. And it's hard sometimes. So she just told me to be easier on myself. So I went home and I watched Real Housewives Orange County and I didn't feel guilty about it. Really? Yeah. I don't watch that one.

I like that one. Orange County? Yeah. I don't watch that one. I like that one. Orange County? Yeah. Boring. Yeah, all the fake boobs and plastic surgery. It's kind of fun. What did you do?

I, what do I do yesterday? Oh, very disappointing yesterday. Why? I got my pager in the mail if you guys don't know. Menace ordered a pager. I ordered Motorola, channel 1996. Yeah.

A Motorola Bravo Plus pager. Online for $25 off of eBay. And I intend to get it hooked up with service. I found a place that provides service. But the one that I got wasn't the right frequency. So I had to return it. It has to go all the way back to Florida. They're going to reprogram it for me and then send it back. Oh my God.

And I need my pager for Las Vegas. I'm going to Las Vegas. I need my pager. Why the hell do you need your pager? You've got your cell phone. So I can be flashy. Dude, you're hilarious. When do you leave for Vegas?

Friday the 11th, so in 10 days. A May. Yeah, and then I come back for a couple of days and then I'm leaving on Friday again, going back to Vegas. That's awesome. It all works up. Yeah, kind of. I want to speed up with all friends. So you're going on the weekend, the 18th, too. The 18th.

I'm going that weekend, too. My mom's in town. Oh, really? We're going to a spa. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm gonna be gone. Okay. And then it was so funny because I was talking to my friend on the phone

who I will be in Vegas with. And I was telling her about how I'm buying all these old things that I really wanted. And then I bought a pager and I bought some Reebok pumps. Right. And she's like, well, you gotta wear them and support all these things in Vegas. And I go, yeah, the only problem is,

I might keep on getting escorted to the high roller table. So that might be a problem. Because they're gonna think that you are so for you in fancy, high roller. High roller with the Reebok pumps. That could be a problem. That should be your worst problem. That should be a worst problem in Vegas. That or jail, I don't know where you're gonna be led to.

That's gonna be fun though. It's gonna be. We had a blast in don't know where you're going to be led to. That's going to be fun though. It's going to be. We had a blast in Vegas when we went a few weeks ago. I sure loved it there. It's so crazy. I got so many weekend trips. That's good. Everyone coming up.

I just got like an hour ago saying, oh, I got to go to LA June 3rd. And then I'll be in June. Damn, after my birthday. Yeah, June 5th, I have to be I'll be in in June. They have to my birthday. Yeah. June 5th. I have to be, no, not June 5th. Uh, the next weekend, I have to be in San Diego and then a work and August.

So I'm going to be in Chicago. Yeah. So much traveling. I know. That's a problem because we're busy here. We need you. I know, but I only, you know, me only leave on weekends and I'm always back before Monday.

I just need you back here. That's all I'm saying. Okay. It's what I'm saying. Fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine. Um, so yeah, we've got a little bit of sex in you back here. That's all I'm saying. Okay. It's what I'm saying. Fine fine fine fine fine. Um so yeah We've got a little bit of sex in the news here. Um, sure. Do you got this? What's Jessica Simpson finally decided? Yeah, I didn't even put it down, but she had a baby because half hour ago or something. Yeah, yeah

Like like everyone kept showing pictures of her online like you really you're still pregnant because she got pretty pregnant well you're still pregnant because she got pretty pregnant. Well, people were saying that she was holding off the announcement of her having a baby for a magazine cover because she kept on getting trumped from like news stories. They're taking over the magazine cover. So she wouldn't get paid for a magazine cover if she had her baby one of big news stories like. But I thought you can't decide when you're having a baby unless she was having a C-section.

You can't. No, they said that she probably already had her baby, but they just didn't say anything. Oh, so she was just crying. But I don't know how you keep that stuff secret in Los Angeles because every doctor and nurses on the payroll first, for some gossip site.

Yeah, so she had a baby that's exciting. Maxwell or something, it's a name. Maxwell. Our girl. It's exciting Maxwell or something is the name Maxwell Our girl. It's cute girl. Yeah Maxwell Call our maxi there was an artist name Maxwell in the 90s, right? But I never heard of a Fimo called me so why do celebrities have to have weird names? I don't know why why can't they just have a normal? Because they think they're superior and they don't want to do something like everyone else. What?

I'm just gonna have a kid name it, John. John. Good name, solid name. It's John and like, what's it girls that's stacy or Jen? Yeah. No, just kidding. I'm not really gonna do that. But because people, it's a way of expressing

their individuality. Stupid. Okay. So our sex in the news, besides Jessica Simpson and the congrats to Jessica Simpson is Tennessee bar school kids From holding hands because it could lead to sex Lock up your daughters. It's time to play ring around the Rosie's Tennessee's house of representatives on Friday passed a controversial Gateway sexual activity bill Jesus Christ By a vote of 60 to 23 and it now awaits the governor signature, famously ridiculed by Stephen

Cobair last month, the Bill Bands teachers and outside groups from promoting or condoning what it calls gateway sexual activity. A vague, nebulous definition that could mean anything from a peck on the cheek to the casual joining of two hands. This bill puts the onus on teachers and schools to curb these unseemly activities or risk lawsuits from parents. Additionally, sex ed classes are required to exclusively and emphatically promote abstinence and tenancy. So if kids are like seen holding hands or touching, they are violating this bill. Gateway, it's a gateway drug.

It's a gateway hand holding that could lead to intercourse is what they're saying for school kids. Well, what are your thoughts? I kissed a boy in third grade on the play. See, it was all downhill. There should have been this bill. No, I kissed a boy. No, maybe it was fifth grade. I kissed a boy behind the dump truck behind the dump or stars. Slower. He made me kiss him. He was like the bad boy. He grabbed me. He Slor. I he made me kiss him. He was like the bad boy. He grabbed me.

He threw me. He found that I had a dumpster and he kissed me like made out. And I was so freaked out. And I didn't want anyone to know when I ran home and then the next day everyone knew and they were teasing me. And then I never kissed a boy again. And then became the most popular girl in school. No.

I didn't. And then I didn't kiss a boy till eighth grade, because that was enough for me. Yeah, that was my first real kiss, but it was kind of depressing, because he was like a bad boy and made me do it. Okay, Armageddon inches even closer with octamons upcoming porn out.

Oh God, no. So she declared bankruptcy, I guess. And so she is gonna do a porn now, because that's what everyone does when they need to make money, I guess. And so she is going to do a poor now because that's what everyone does when they need to make money, I suppose. So she'll make a lot more than the 10,000 she received early this year for posing topless. If it's anything like her previous life decisions with over a million in debt and with 14 mouth to feed for the next two decades, she's clearly weighed this deal out sensibly. Yeah. Poor woman. I mean, all those mouths to feed, all those kids,

and now she's trained to point. She's insane. She's insane though, right? Like she literally like meant to be. That's why no one's to, if she was normal, right, people would help her out. There would be like so many companies. I don't really follow her.

Like, what does she do that so? She's just, she's just out of her mind. She's not a sane woman. Okay. And if she was, like, there would be tons of companies helping her out and stuff like that, but she's just like so rich. She's not someone that people want to get behind and endorse. Yeah, not at all.

So, and check this out. If you want to see an Octo Mom porn, you got some effing problems. I'm sorry. Yeah, but who wants to see her porn? Who wants to watch it? Not even a person that want to watch it. How do you know? Or people went crazy to go see her topless photos, which I did.

I didn't, I refused to go look at. I refused. Wow. There's no effing way I'm going to go look at that. Still sad for kids. Someone should like help her kids. But it's a point. But it's it like I heard on the street,

it was like a self-plagering porno like she's knocking out sex with anybody And who the who the hell would even pay to see that I don't know but She's the mother of 14 friggin children. She's not well like someone should like child protective services She got all the other there all the time are they yeah, okay? I don't follow it as much and she's like on welfare and she's paying like $500 for haircuts and stuff like that Child Protective Services. They're there all the time. Are they? Yeah. Okay. I don't follow it as much. And she's like on welfare and she's paying like $500 for haircuts and stuff like that. Oh, she's an idiot.

Yeah. Okay. Because she's famous. So she feels like she has to look good. It's dumb. Okay. Brooklyn turns down a helping of hooters. Hooters has met fierce resistance in their effort to redefine the term Brooklyn bombers

as the neighborhoods of prospect heights and parks. So if fervently resisted the restaurant opening a chain near the new net stadium, open a cash in on the stadiums, open in December, the chain is applied twice to open up a brownstone, neighbor open up in the brownstone neighborhood, but local residents are not happy. I can't imagine a hooters in Brooklyn. There goes the neighborhood on Twitter, Josh Greenman tweeted men of brownstone, happy I can't imagine a hooters in Brooklyn. There goes the name. On Twitter, Josh Greenman tweeted,

men of brownstone Brooklyn, pretend you're offended, hooters go shopping in Park Slope, hipster and yuppie moms don't want a hooters in Brooklyn by the new net serena, I guess what? No Brooklyn I want to say. I can't imagine that hooters is going to really, they didn't do it well here. Some, yeah, not in San Francisco.

We're like a funky kind of Brooklyn. Yeah, I just, I think it was just in a bad location for San Francisco, to be honest. It was worth. Yeah, it was, you ever see where it was at? It was like the end of Fisherman's War, it wasn't really like really heavily populated area. And how can you can, no, not that it was hooters. How can you compete when people,

it's nothing but people that are traveling from all over the country. How can you compete with In and Out Burger being right next to like In and Out Burger? Oh, that's true. In and Out Burger is amazing. Yeah. Do people know that from other countries? How amazing it is.

Oh, like people from the East Coast, like the first thing that they do when they land here is get in an out burger. I freaking love them. Every single artist, because I actually work pretty close to that in an out burger. Like any famous person, they always go to the in an out burger first before coming to the radio station.

Like it's just a thing. It's just a thing. Because the East Coast has white castle, which isn't that great. That's what I used to eat going up. Yeah, and so people from the West Coast just go there just to eat it because they can say they had to eat white castle.

And then the people that come from the East Coast can't eat their burger. I didn't realize they were compare relevant. I mean, yeah, so the hooters in our burger right next to each other, so there's no way it can compete with that. Okay, I got it, that's why I shut down. No, it was location location,

location location. It was just the hooters. The hoot there are better burgers than people pick the better burgers. Yeah, cheaper five dollars to get a delicious. Sheep they pay a lot. You'd spend a lot to see. Yeah. Okay, it's no from breadwinners to bread makers. Generation X men spend far more time in the kitchen than their dads. In news that will prove distressing to all fathers who don't want to raise no sissy's, the University of Michigan is reported that today's men are cooking up a relative storm compared to their dad.

Yeah, man. Well married women still prepare the majority of meals and single women still prepare 10 meals a week. Whoa. Single and married men are now cooking 8 meals a week and going grocery shopping least once. That's good. Men are sharing with the housework. Yeah, not me. 10 meals a week. I mean, I haven't made 10 meals in my lifetime.

I cannot imagine that. Yeah, I cook. I've been cooking for myself forever because my parents got divorced when I was six. And so my mom was working and then I'll get home to school earlier. How'd you know what to make? I would just make for some dinners.

I just knew how to cook, man. I was watching my parents cook. I never watched. I never saw him cook. I saw him. They didn't cook either? I think cooked. No, not really.

My mom stopped when I was like six. Really? Yeah. Okay. Good life. That explains more about me, right? Yeah. Because my dad thinks my entire childhood messed up my life. You did?

It did. Okay, we've got what? My parents got divorced early. So you have family. fair, and come in. Yeah, come in. And now just this is a revelation that your mom stopped cooking when you were six. So that that explains why you never have any food in your house because you don't cook. I've never cooked anything.

Are you going to call your mom and yell at her? Yeah, right now. Let's call it. I don't want to cook. I don't want to cook. I should be like, we, I tried to teach you to cook, but you were my sheet did cook. What did you eat?

What did you eat? You would just get take out or you guys go eat the restaurant and get the expensive. I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, lean cuisines. Hell yeah. And like, hot pockets or whatever they were like that. Lean cuisines was really popular in the 80s. Yeah, that's right. That was huge. I know, that was me. I was all about lean cuisines, like, seven minutes in the microwave.

That was a good meal. That was where I would have made myself. I learned to cook one day. Okay, here's some emails that we got from the peoples. So, thanks for emailing us at feedback. It's sexwithemily.com. Okay, dear Emily. I'm a 30-year-old female living in the Bay Area. Why is it that generations after my have taken a huge step backwards regarding social relationships? I called a 24-year-old out on his

disgusting remarks about a female who didn't respond to his text for two hours. His only response was to call me just as ugly as the girl. My response to his unimaginative, your ugly statement was, I do truly hope your sperm matches your verbal vomit as we don't really need your DNA infiltrating society. Any woman that sleeps with him, sleeps with you, will probably lack the ability to properly communicate with any mammal. His response, yeah, while you're still ugly.

Can you discuss and or explain why there's such a client in basic human social interaction? Why is it hard for most people born in 1990 plus in the US to have normal interactions with their peers and elders? And how do you feel about a mandatory year long wilderness survival stand for every American after graduating high school?

I'm told he fought. Send them out on the wild alone with the clothes in their backs a match is some rope Perhaps even dehydrated food to last a week and make them live off the grid for a year Cheers Ellie. This is from a premium friends with benefit member. She's in from Menlo Park, California Menlo Park what what what what what what I was gonna go to the high school in Men. Park. Oh really that would have been very A mental opportunity really. Yeah, why didn't you go so ghetto? It's not oh, it's not nice. No, I just have Aptotin sounds nice. Yeah, but it just it mixes with a really bad area of town So they share the same high school, but I think the bad area actually They forced them to make their own high school so

But at the time when I was supposed to go there, it wasn't a good time. Okay. Yeah. Well, now it's a nice time probably, Menlo Park. Probably. Okay, so she's having this debate with this guy who's 24. Why are kids?

This one's in mature. Don't listen to his ass. They really think kids born between after 1990 and the US have normal interactions with their peers and elders? No. Do they and elders? No. Do they? It's not normal. Because you guys all grew up, everyone not you, but you weren't born in 1990, but grew up,

my interns were all born like in 1990, right? Yeah, and the different, the social interaction is way different. It's a lot more instant. Right. I was actually having lunch before here, and we were just, we were joking around about my pager. And because I had a after lunch, I had to go mail it back and get it fixed. And they go, oh, yeah, my friend was like, so how am I going to get ahold of you now if you don't have your pager? Oh, you really got those off. Just mean, you know, joke. And I was like, I go, wow, do you go imagine when we didn't have even

pages like how did people even interact with each other? Like how did I and I was opening Instagram at the same time and talking and I go, how do how would I know that my friend is having pizza right now? You know, like how would I even know shit then? Yeah, how would I know? Amazing, but pages even you had to you get the page and then you had to run to a pay phone. Mm-hmm. Or a call of phone to call someone, because you, they kind of came in with cell phones,

pages, so, but I remember at first having a page or that was a phone. People couldn't afford cell phones, because it was so expensive. So we had a page, and then you had to run to a pay phone, put in a quarter, call someone. Yeah, call them. That's so, yeah, that's crazy.

And you didn't know if they're eating pizza or they were just standing over the golden gate bridge and you can't see their pictures or their upstate, their status. I think there's way too much fucking information about everyone right now. I don't care. Like it's like delusion. It's not that you don't care. It's just I feel that when we do end up seeing each other in real life at a dinner table or anything like that, we don't have as much shit to talk about. Because everyone knows everything that's going on. Everyone already knew that you had pizza for lunch or a new way.

You went on this amazing trip. I don't know, yeah, I've seen all these photos, like what more are you gonna tell me about the trip that I don't already know, you know? It's so true, my friend was telling me that he sit down with an uncle that he hadn't seen in years, but their Facebook friends, and he sat down with him and his uncle was like, he started to tell him,

yeah, so I wanted this trip to Alaska. He's like, yeah, I saw the photos. He's like, well, I'm in this relationship with this girl. Yeah, I saw that you had a relationship. Like, there's nothing to share anymore. Yeah. Because it's all online. I don't understand why we do,

why how it turned. So quickly, we all want to give so much. It's funny because so much information about ourself when these social sites were starting people are like oh no one's going to want to share information like that no one wants to you know but the internet has become a big huge look at me right that's what it is all look at me look at me look at me I want more attention I want to be the most popular I need the most followers yeah this is look at me look at me look at me. I want more tension. I want to be the most popular. I need the most followers. Yeah This is looking me and look what I'm speaking of which you should follow me on Facebook and Twitter on Instagram sex with them

Yeah, white menace on everything white menace and it just becomes where So much look at me is happening that you honestly don't really even care what everyone else is doing too as much Right, you really don't. Cause you're just waiting to tell them what you're doing. Yeah, seeing how people like what you're doing. Yeah. But I posted that picture on Instagram of my page

and it got over like 120 likes. People knew what it was. Oh yeah, but it's funny. Another DJ who was born in the 90s. He's like the youngest radio DJ in my building. Right. And I pulled out the page and I go, hey, dude, check this out.

And he had no clue what the effort was. Right, I'm sure. Well, no. The pages weren't around that level. I mean, it's 10 years. He's like, is that a garage door opener? Right. Looks like a garage door.

He honestly had no clue what the effort was. Yeah. It's funny. It is funny. And do you know what else? What? Some sex to Emily listeners are following me She honestly had no clue what the f it was. Yeah, it's funny. It is funny. And do you know what else? What? Some sexist-only listeners are following me on Instagram because I posted a picture of

the dog, my favorite dog again. Uh-huh. And then they commented and said, oh, I thought sexist-only said that you hated dogs. Yeah. I don't hate dogs. You just hate my dog. I just, no. The whole argument with you is you having a dog.

Because I don't think it was in a good move. It's not a good move for you. It's been really challenging. She's in my office right now and she cries. She looked at me in these little eyes when I was leaving. And she's sad. Just give them to one of your ex-boyfriends. Pick one of my ex-boyfriends is the baby daddy already.

So he's already got it. It's ridiculous. I know, but then he's kind of my ex-boyfriend and sort of adopted another dog with another girl last week. And I'm kind of jealous. Wow. None of my friends are being kids, there's a dog and dogs. Yes, he's a little play.

He's getting around. He's like, oh, so this woman he's out with just got a dog and I think I'm gonna help her watch him. You're already a baby daddy. You can't take out another dog. Wow, look how quick you get jealous. You say that you don't get jealous. I don't get jealous, but I just don't want to shit.

No, Daisy needs her daddy. He can't be spending his time with another dog. It's serious. Okay, next email. Dear Emily, I have to tell you the nervousness that I'm having, typing this. So please be gentle. In the last few months,

I've started listening to podcasts and stumbled across yours last week. I've listened to about five or six starting with episode 93 on June 25th. About a place where a couple've learned to, I've listened to about five or six starting with episode 93 on June 25th about a place where a couple has learned to understand how to please each other sexually. I can't believe that exists. I struggle accepting that pleasing myself is okay. Masterbation has always been wrong. How to please the woman I've had to learn on my own.

With still not knowing, I asked myself, what woman would want to get involved with someone they have to teach. So I don't try. I have such a difficult time I asked myself, what woman would want to get involved with someone they have to teach? So I don't try. I have such a difficult time picturing what love is like that I don't try to picture it anymore. The last time I asked a lady out, I mean, when I was last year in July, I try to take into your show, but it's overwhelming, but I can't live life alone, so I'm trying to take it all and thanks for any guidance you could pass my way.

Oh, he didn't sign his name, his name's in on here. Okay, so I'm not sure what episode 93 was about a place where couples learn to understand at a please each other sexually. It might have been one taste in San Francisco. And it sounds like you've got a lot of issues that stem from your childhood perhaps. One taste, that's that cold, right?

Yeah. Master patient you feel like it's been wrong we're actually doing a whole show about masturbation today because it is masturbation month and I think that there are a lot of people raised with the notion that or the belief that masturbation is wrong like that you know the go blind a lot of guys were taught to have to hide it from their parents women or taught things, things too. Every time you masturbate, a puppy dies. Exactly.

So, none of that is true. Anakin. Oh, did you beat him yet? Oh, god, dies. I mean, masturbate. I want to say a cat right now. So I think that there are so many places you can learn to please each other. It just sounds like you're really overwhelmed by it right now.

But there are books you can read. There are our listen to the podcast. Every day we give tips, I have a book called Hot Sacks, over 200 things you could try to night with like really easy tips and great photos. You can get an Amazon that can teach you these things. So do some reading, do some research, and don't be so nervous around the ladies. They're not expecting you to know everything. And if anything, I have them tell you what you want. Say, what do you want? What do

you need when you're fooling around with them? And have them tell you because men aren't supposed to do everything. Believe me, most guys don't know what they're doing, I would say. And you have to give them some, some, some tips. And that's where masturbation comes in because with masturbation, you really, really learn your own body. And you can be like, wow, that felt cool. cool like masturbation shouldn't just be the same you do the same thing every time. You should try to do different things so you learn your body more and you learn which turns yourself on as well. So all I can tell you is not to be so hard on yourself and I'm passing along guidance every day to you because you said you know thanks for passing the guidance along and I don't think you live life alone and I think that you should look at it as

this new amazing exploration into women and into understanding them. And there are lots of courses you could take. I'm not sure we live. Maybe there's some sex information centers I could hook you up with. So email me, feedback at sexfamily.com. You love that one taste people. One taste is it. Nice cold. It's a nice cold. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it a nice cold. It's a it's it's it's the like orgasmic monks. They masturbate your clitoris. If you go in there, they actually I ran into them at that. Remember I did that a few weeks ago. I was at that show. I was a some business thing. I had my sex only booth set up and they were there and they wanted me to come

home again, which is when they mass. Of course they want you to. I said I would and then I can't talk. I like having my, my, my, my random strange guys. Cute guys though. This guy's that want to touch Clitters' his all day. Yeah, not you, you're not there, but that's fine. Some guys do and my Clitters would love to be touched all day. Thank you very much. Three. That was a nerve-ending. Not really. Okay. What time is it here? I want to have a here? I'm just trying to think we should move into the topic. Okay, cool. Cool. Oh, wait, hold on. There is one thing that I have to say here. I'm going to read this one, Marie-Mill, sorry. I wanted to share a little bit about my life in order to help some

of your listeners. I found your show via a friend and I've been hooked ever since. Some background. My wife and I are 30 and have been married for six years. We both come from families where porn and masturbation is forbidden, so neither of us really understand what makes us happy and both of us were virgins on our wedding day. I must say that it was great at that time, but looking back over six years, it just plain sucked. We've grown so much to understanding to other's bodies that the sex gets better with age. The main reason for writing today's two questions. Number one, do other men have a favorite breast? I have my favorite. It's her left one. She's very ample breast, but the left one is a little smaller. I can cut my hand around to give

pressure at the right time. Number two, one of the things that she's not done is get me to calm while giving me head. I understand all the reasons behind it. She does not want it in her mouth or her face. So I will respect that. However, I would like to feel it one day. She's talked about putting a condom on, but the taste of the condom is a big issue. What's the best condom you knew the taste that you know that tastes good?

So he's two questions. Okay, so here's, I've got an amazing, amazing thing to tell you. Okay, the first question and my amazing thing is for your second question. Most women have one breast that's larger than the other breast. So that's normal. Yeah. Did you know that? No, I knew that.

Okay, so that's, I don't know, do you have a favorite breast man, a swimmer with girls? No. No, I don't, I don't know, but I know that I have one breast bigger than the other. I couldn't tell you which one it is. That's totally normal. Number two, there is the most I've won breast bigger than the other. I couldn't tell you which one it is. That's totally normal. Number two, there is the most amazing thing on the market now called mask. M-A-S-Q-U-E. It's a product which is like a listarene strip that masks the taste of semen.

So in masks, any sexual taste, it's for men and women. It comes in strawberry, chocolate, mango, and watermelon, four flavors. It remains active for 15 minutes and finishes with a cool minty note. The goal of masks is to bring you and your partner closer together inside the bedroom and out. So if you are not performing, if your wife

will not perform oral sex on you because she doesn't like the taste, she doesn't like the semen. She can pop a mask strip, M-A-S-Q-U-E, in her mouth, and she can give you oral sex to the cows come home. It'll taste like chocolate or strawberry fields or whatever flavor she chooses. Strawberry fields. So check that out.

A lot of women, we hear that. We hear that women don't perform oral sex after I have to get married. And I'm just saying that I don't think that that's, you know, I think that that's an important part of sex and that women should figure out a way to want to do it. And maybe a list of dreams trip that tastes like chocolate is just like that. Just like that thing. Okay. I'll give you props for saying that. Women need to forget a way to like it. They do. They do. If you don't like it, then you should like it. Okay. So masturbation facts and stats. 95% of men admit to masturbating compared to 89% of women for married individuals. The rate is 70% for both men and women. We're moving into the sex topic now, which is masturbation, because it's masturbation month. For married Christian men, 61% of mid to masturbating only 13% consider their practice thermal, so that shows how religion really impacts how men and women feel of masturbation.

Frequency. More than 40% of males and 22% of females admit to masturbating daily, 55% and 48% of women masturbate once a week. This one's funny. The average time a porno film is watched in a hotel room. What do you think it is? The average time? How long do you think they actually watch it for when they buy it? Average time.

Twenty minutes. Twelve. Twelve minutes. You calm and turn it off, right? Yeah. Fast forward to the con scene. Okay. Do turn it off, right? Yeah. Fast forward to the con scene. Okay. Do you know what's funny?

I was in Las Vegas one time and I was up late. And Las Vegas, the porn is just like, it's not blocked. You just flip it through the channels and porn is on. Love Vegas. And I was up late working on a project with another one of my co-workers and another co-worker was in the room just watching and flipping through the channels. Flip through the channel and it looks like this chick,

like her boobs are bouncing up and down, you know, like she's having sex with somebody and then it pans down and this chick has a weiner. Oh, man. It was so burned. That is such a bummer, that's invigorated. It's free, it's free, get for free. Yeah, free porn, look out everybody. It might look like a chickmer. That's invigorated. That's what you get for free. Yeah, free porn. Look out

everybody. It might look like a chick, but it's a dude. Oh my God. Okay, 53% of women use vibrators when masturbating. Reportedly 70% of men have also used vibrators for solar masturbation, not just for women. Masturbation may be good for you. Today's suggested may reduce the risk of prostate cancer for men for women's cervical infections, might also be reduced with frequent personal stimulation. Over 2.5 million fleshlites have been sold worldwide. We're going to talk about that. That's for men. Mastermation is sleep for men. More than 41% of people have accidentally been caught masturbating. 22% of women have intentionally been walked in on. And we'll read the rest next week,

but I'm gonna get into this topic now, okay? Infographic on, okay, I've read that. Other masturbation facts. Americans spend twice as much money on pornography than they do on cookies. A 1992 Kinsey Report established that the average man's speed of emission was 18 kilometers per hour Strange masturbation all guys can remember the one kid at school or maybe they were that kid who did it with a watermelon

Or he the piece of Belona in the mark Belona Beloni in the microwave to stimulate a vagina of a giant that smelled like lunch meat But if a giant and then last do you hear stories like that growing up? Kids who attacks the watermelon? No, okay. I mean it was in the last. Did you hear stories like that growing up? Kids who attacks the watermelon. No. Okay. I mean, it was in the movies. It was in the movies, I know.

Okay. So, tips for men. Switch up. Change hands. Try different positions. Speeds, techniques, and lubricants. A website to check out for everything to do with masturbation is jackandworld.com. There's masturbation cream you can buy.

Go to adamaniv.com. Use coupon code Emily and you get three porn films for free, three adult DVDs. Use coupon code Emily. It's called Wood Wax masturbation cream. And it actually moisturizes the skin of your penis as you masturbate. It has a different sensation than Lou. So when you're by, you folks, so don't you feel like when you masturbate, you do

it the same way every time. Of course, because that's what you'd like. How are you going to change it up? Well, it might feel good to use a different hand, to use different strokes, to use some lotion, which you probably think is messy, but you can also remove your hips instead of relying on just your hand. There's different textures on the penis. Instead of a hand, try some kind of sleeve. It doesn't have to be a flashlight. Many men like the feel of silica rubber. So a flashlight is this sex toy that you can also buy that you put your penis in, and

it's a very popular masturbation sleeve for men. We also have one called the tanga. I gave you, I showed you the tanga agri gave you a show to the tanga I grew up with. We have a review that intern Steve did that we're going to play real quick of the tanga. He didn't do it. His friend did it. Yeah. He didn't do it.

Sorry. Sorry Steve. He said that to you a million times before the show started. Just FYI, I have this for you. It's not me. He produced it. I produced it. It's not you. It's not me. He produced it. I produced it. OK.

It's not him. He just wanted to make sure that you knew that. And he still said it was him. OK. All right. Do you want to play now? It's OK, mate. Yeah.

OK. OK. Let's see if it works. OK. MUSIC PLAYING When you think of eggs, unless you're trying to conceive, your mind probably doesn't go to penises. But the Tenga egg, a Japanese masturbation sleeve, is here to change all that, as well as how men view sex toys.

It's a line of silicon sleeves that come, excuse me, in petite plastic eggs. There are six styles of sleep and they differ in their patterns of inner ribbing and the textures you find inside. My friend Chuck had just returned from vacation so I thought this would be a good time to give him one of these eggs to try out. He's sort of a conservative guy. He's not a sex toy kind of guy, which made me think he'd be a good candidate for a new experience such as this. A week after I gave it to him, we had a talk to see how we felt about his new toy. Have you ever used a sex toy before? Not that I know of. Okay, what does... I mean, well, anything can happen in the dark. Anything can happen in the dark. Was Chuck a kinky boy for lack of a better word?

Am I a kinky boy? Yeah. Wait, that's the question. That's my question. I know I don't think so. So what are your thoughts on Sex Toys in general? You know, I guess there's something that I've always associated with the female body. Anytime I've ever thought of using a sex toy for myself, it seems to conjure images of that Adam Sandler song.

When he talks about asking his girlfriend to shove a shampoo bottle up his ass. As you can see he was definitely new to this kind of thing. I decided we just needed to get right into the thick of it. Okay, imagine you're on a beach. A white sandy beach. It's in the 80s. There's a nice ocean breeze, Fahrenheit. Not the decade now, present day.

But it's a gorgeous day. You can hear steel drums and playing in the distance. You're holding a coconut and you have to get into this coconut. And once you do, you can't let the coconut water out because then it's just a mess and what a waste. And the coconut's not going to be as good without the coconut milk in there. And you start digging at it with a spoon.

The meat's really good, but you just can't take too much of it because you eventually will just hit the rind and then nobody wants to eat coconut rind and it'll just break through the bottom of it. I wonder though, what specifically could you say about it? In terms of, you know, sensitivity, it's really nice, I guess, if that's what you're looking for. It was a little louder than I was expecting it to be. There are a lot of noises that come along that you wouldn't maybe expect. That was a little bit alarming. It was pretty good, I guess, but it might not be meant for men of my

girth, I suppose, because I would say probably on the... What was it? It's 11th or 13th time or so. I tore busted right through the end of it Why, you are only actually supposed to use it once. It's indisposable. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh.

Huh. Huh. Well, you left that part out, but I actually just found out today. So, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Well, me too. So, there you have it, folks. the Tenga egg has reviewed by Chuck a guy that I love Awesome funny man so much like fully work in the background I loved it fully working means like he did like music and music and all that stuff

That was good. That was awesome. Okay. So that's actually, we talk about the Tango masturbation. See, this is the newest hype for men now and women is these, well for men. The masturbation tape, it's Tango makes them, there's the flashlight and I'm just saying that there's different things that men can do. You might like the feel of silk or rubber and so from masturbation month, I'm just asking men to do something a little bit different this time. Try to masturbate a little different next time.

Use your left hand and set your right hand. Use a masturbation sleeve. You can buy any of this stuff. You can go to adamaniv.com and use coupon code Emily at checkout. You can also go to good vibes and use coupon code GVM-15 for 15% 15% after anything good vibes.com.

That's what we got for you today. We don't have time to get into female masturbation but we'll get into that. We'll save that. Yeah, save it for tomorrow. Because masturbation month is a home month. A home month masturbation. A home month masturbation.

Okay everyone, thanks so much for listening. Sex family was good for you. Email me feedback at sexfamily.com. The sex family was good for you. Email me feedback at sexfamily.com.