Sex With Emily - SWE: Nice Guys

Episode Date: April 8, 2013

Do nice guys always finish last? Not in bed at least. Always try to make her orgasm first, especially if you're calling yourself a "nice guy." Why do people stay in bad relationships? Emily explains why you should never date someone and expect them to change. Emily shares how to reject people without busting out a knife and stabbing them in the heart. Also, having sex in a freezer, sex with your ex, slump busters, whip cream, road head at a car wash, and falling asleep mid-ejaculation. Sex with Emily is a free podcast. Emily no longer has the paid Friends with Benefits program because she wants everyone to enjoy Sex with Emily. Please support our sponsors: Max4Men, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Max4Men. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. One of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of the incredible people at Good Vibrations. Good Vibrations is Sex's positive store carrying the best toys with an informative website at GoodVibes.com. I got my very first toy from Good Vibrations, so I've been a fan for a long time, and they never disappoint. They have a huge online store at GoodVibes.com, and you can literally find anything on there

from toys to DVDs to games. Just click on the Good Vibrations banner at sexwithemily.com and enter coupon code GVMly20 for 20% off on orders of $100 or more. So check it out. You'll help yourself and you'll help keep sex with family free, just like it should be. Thanks for listening and promise our sex life will improve. Hi everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I no longer have the Friends with Benefits program. My podcast is completely free so that you can always enjoy sex with Emily. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta understand. Oh, my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's drink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Hey man, what's up? Hi, how you doing?

I'm good, how are you? I'm good, sorry I was tweeting. I was letting everybody know to watch. Okay, everyone should watch. And soon you'll be able to see menace. Soon? It's not that he's not cute. It's just that we don't have a camera yet.

Oh no, I'm not cute. And I need to get a tan. I always tell you about that. Are you with a tan? I'm going to buy you a tanning gift certificate. I saw a video of me the other day really pale. And I took a bunch of photos last weekend pale No, I'm not pale. I'm pale compared to me. I live in San Francisco. It's never so I'm not like laying in the sun

You look like you want to the Bahamas compared to me. Okay. Oh, maybe maybe so tonight minus it's Friday happy Friday Yeah, so tonight I'm having drinks with Greg. Yes some Fernando and Greg and you're invited. Are you coming? I? Believe I'm coming. We're going to get drunk in the cast row. I know. That's my first place to get drunk. I know, right? It'll be so fun. We're going to go in the cast row district, which is predominantly the gay district in San Francisco. It's

new in the house. And we're going to get drinks at some fun place. I've never been to. Yeah, Greg knows how to drink. Does he? Yeah, he can drink. I've gotten drunk with him before because we were for the same company, so we got a company party and stuff like that. So he's he's a joy to be around.

I believe that he's a really popular radio show called Fernando and Greg in San Francisco and he was on the show a few months ago. Yeah, you can probably find that show somewhere on the website. No, it was a really good show. It was a really good. People love that show. He's hilarious. When are you going out on a date without a gay man? With art again, I'm not. I don't have any dates set out for this weekend. No way. Swear to God. No, a cabin getaway.

No, cabin getaways. No dates for this weekend. The guy that I went out with from LA last week called me yesterday. He called me. He did not email me. He did not text me. And he not text me and he asked me like He didn't he said he might be in Stanford just going a few weeks and we're gonna go out again

He seemed nice. It was it was like a very brief conversation, but at least called I appreciate when a man calls these days He didn't say oh I can maybe go to LA. No, he didn't well He did ask if I was gonna be in LA anytime soon and I do need to go to LA, but I'm not going to go for him. I mean, no, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I mean, I don't know. How about you, any dates? Oh, no, not this weekend. Next weekend?

I got a clean. I got a clean house. Oh, because you've been so busy. Been busy in my place as a mess. Right. Okay. Well, last night I was visiting with a friend of mine, visiting, hanging out. And she, I want to see what you think of this.

She was laughing because she's dating a guy who's 10 years younger, so he's in his 20s, she's in her 30s. And he said to her, my mom told me that it used to be that girls didn't call boys, is that true? And because he was like, girls, go, he's called guys, and guys always call girls.

But don't, I don't know. I think I, you know, my issue. I don't call guys right away when I'm dating. I'm not going to pick up the phone and call my LA date. Yeah, but I don't think people care anymore, but we are still like, but I'm still in that, like, generation where I'm like, I don't want the guy to call me the first two times. But then I got in that debacle a few months ago with that guy I was dating

for three months, and apparently he pointed out to me that I never once called him first. Yeah. And so I guess I still have this thing in my mind like, I want to kill the chase and blah blah blah and hook his hook. I don't want to get through the chase. I just was like, no, I still wasn't sure that we were to get. I don't know. I just, I don't know. So I was just wondering like, how do you feel? A girl calls you. I love it. Oh, she likes me. No, I, well, I assume no one girl likes me because that's how I stay out of trouble. That's how I don't waste my time. But I just believe it's good that girls call guys now because we are racing in generation

of pussies with the internet where we're becoming socially awkward and please women call guys. If you're into them, call them. Don't say, oh, I want him to chase me because he's not going to chase you. All right. I think there's a little bit like let him play with the beginning. And then you're going to end up being some guy that you don't like. Okay, well, that's a good point.

That's going to bring me to the topic of today's show. Okay. Today's show is we're going to be reading your emails that you sent to feedback at section at mle.com. Or right now, it's so easy on my website. You can just hit Q&A and you can fill out a form and you can, there's the Q&A section and you can email me that way as well.

And some of the topics in your emails today include asking people out, metro-sexual versus retro-sexual, swingers being open-sexual after divorce, vaginal suction pumps, women orgasming early and what happens when your friends start dating. But then the topic that I thought you'd find interested is our sex tip topic is how nice guys can finish first without being a jerk. And then I added like menace.

No, I'm kidding, but we were talking yesterday about how you think guys have to be a jerk. Guys, you think that guys have to be an asshole. And. Guys, you think that guys can be as whole like but still get the chicks and be the nice guy. And we're going to give it to that. Did I say that? I say that's the easy way. That's the easy way out. But there is other tactics and I express those other tactics. Okay, we're going to get into more tactics. Listen, I didn't listen to you. We're going to get into that later. So yeah, that's what we're going to get. There's nothing else next week you're going to you. We're going to get into that later. So yeah, that's what we're doing. I'm going to get sex in the news. There's nothing else.

Next week you're going to do no other plans. I get next week. Let me look at my calendar. It's too far. That's too far. It's too way too far in advance. But next week, I have no dates. I need some new people in my dating pool.

Should I date online just for fun? Yeah. Everyone's doing it. My friend, on J-Date that I talked about, she's got like 100 dates lined up. Of course, because there's a million guys to everyone girl on those things. I know. It's because it could be a good thing. I'm trying to think like like I don't have my guy in LA, my ex that I sleep with, has a new girlfriend, so we're not like hanging out. Oh, what's this new thing that I keep on seeing? Uh, advertisements for. It's called, uh,

it's just dinner. Oh, it's just dinner. Oh, it's just dinner, it's just lunch. Yeah, it's just lunch. I actually know a woman who does that. So that's a dating program in San Francisco. Do they pay women? Because they were talking about making money. I think I saw it on Facebook or something. No, I know. It's just lunch.

It's a dating program where you just have lunch. They fix you up. And I think it's a table with like six people. So it's like three guys and three girls. Yeah. And then you get to all me each other and have lunch and it's just lunch like no pressure No, I don't like I don't like that how it's how it has three people Okay, maybe it's four no, no, I just don't like you're like oh that guy's hot Yeah, but then I feel like I have to you know sell myself in front of all these other people You kind of do but you would just sit there requiring me cool guy. Oh, no, I don't But then I feel like I have to, you know, sell myself in front of all these other people.

When you kind of do, but you would just sit there requiring me cool guy. Oh, no, I don't, I don't know. I would have to feel the vibe. Right. But I'd rather just be one on one because then I can probably win them over. Right. There might be a one on one. The one with the eating those one on one.

So my friends doing all these coffees with guys. She's not doing dinner. She's doing like coffee, coffee, coffee. But she canceled on some guy yesterday because she's kind of a big counselor And he's like thanks a lot for making me waste my night, but she canceled five hours early and he was pissed for coffee No, they were gonna go out for dinner. I think actually no, they were going out for an early like no They were going out for coffee because she only drinks coffee and they were gonna go out for like a 630 coffee And at noon she canceled and he's like center really pissy email Like you messed up my night and it's like forget it you just learned this guy's

not because she suggested another date like another time what did she end up doing that night she was going out the middle yeah yeah see how do I know you women are she's going on the guy that she's dating but she's also dating on J.D. but he doesn't know that. Why? Why? Because she's not so into the guy that she's dating. Then stop dating him. Oh, she's like some sort of. You know how that is.

You just kind of hang out with someone for a while until you don't. Someone else comes along. So bad. It's not that bad. That's life. It's terrible. I've done it. I don't do it anymore.

I don't do it anymore. I don't do it anymore. I don't do it anymore. I don't do it anymore. I don't do it anymore. I don't do it anymore. I don't do it anymore. I don't do it anymore. I don't do it anymore. I's why I want to. We're going to the devil and Gypsies. Yeah. Yeah. What are men then? It tricks them. Better assholes and jerks and liars. Just kidding. I love men. They are none of those things.

Okay. Um, so what else? I'm trying to think what else? Did you see the like the clip? I sent you. What's the clip? Can we talk about that? I mean, I feel like I don't know if can you? Why not?

It's your thing. You talk to them. But I feel like everything is real. And I feel like you guys can all follow me along in this process of it. And I don't think there's a problem talking about it. You sure? I mean, did you talk to the... I said it was okay. Yeah, I kind of tried to do it. It's cool. It's going to be in the news or anything.

It will be in the news like next week. Next week, then we should wait. Okay, okay, okay, okay, clear thing. I won't mess it up. Okay, but there's some exciting stuff happening with sex damage. Yeah. I know friends with benefits are super up. I won't mess it up. Okay, but there's some exciting stuff happening with sex damage. Yeah. I know friends with benefits is super exciting, and I'm really excited about that, but there's gonna be even more exciting things that are happening soon. Okay.

Okay, so, and we've got new videos on the site every day. We've got like four new videos up there, and we've got a poll, which I will get into in a second, but we can get into some sex in the news. Okay, is there more weenertalk? No more weenertalk. Has anything else happened with him in the last 48 hour 24 hours?

No, nothing's happened. I haven't like and keep up with it. Okay. Okay Okay, controversial judge may lose his job from distributing condom stuffed acorns Condom stuffed acorns. I don't really get it. Isaac still fuss a judge from inner course pencil This is not real. It is real. It is real. It is real. It is real. He's a judge from Intercourse, Pennsylvania, could lose his job simply for promoting safe intercourse. He lives in Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Hold on. Can we have one in terms of look up? Make sure that's a good place. They did look it up. They found it for me. Intercourse, Inter intercourse Pennsylvania.

Yeah, he claims to hand out condoms in his courtroom all the time to help emphasize how important sex is in preventing unwanted pregnancies and STDs. He should be considered an empowering role model, even if his way of distributing them is a little nutty. Besides, what are all these uptight people doing, living in a city called Intercourse anyway? It is totally true.

Imagine if you're the only person in intercourse, Pennsylvania, that's not having intercourse like how much is that so. I know. In Michigan, there's a town called Climax and we used to always go passing. We used to always drive past it. My cousin Lizzie and I, and we would, who was on the show the other day, and we go, we were going to have a snack. Wow. That was really funny. Lots of tons of weird names. So you have these handing out. Why are people so upset that people hand out condoms? It's like, oh, I wasn't even thinking of having sex, but now that I have a free condom,

I'm going to go do it. I'm going to go do it. Yeah. Hand out free people need more condoms. I'm actually out of condoms, like me. I used to get free condoms at the nail time, like I need condoms. Everyone needs condoms. You want?

Someone give me free condoms. Yeah, because they expire too too do you know that condoms expire and you have to check the expiration date yeah you just find this out no but I'm just telling people as a thing like if you've had condoms forever maybe you've even got laid in a few years like throw away your condoms again new condoms yeah you got to get those $75 condoms I know we talked a few weeks ago someone's making like $75 come so we need a condom sponsor I'm just putting it out there. If anyone's listening Trojan, I'd love a condom sponsor. Oh, the directs pleasure pack. Oh my God, totally direct the pleasure pack. The pleasure pack. Remember that Sean Dorf.

Sean Dorf Gardos from my pleasure.com. Yeah, he he designed something for directs. Exactly. Remember, he's your way in. I know. You're right. Hit him up. Oh, got to call him. Write that down. So we need condoms. Okay, we need condoms.. I know. You're right. Get him up. Got to call him. Write that down. So we need condoms. Okay. We need condoms.

We need to make a rain condoms. I want to suck with them, and sexual them, and we loop. That's coming soon. It has to be high quality, though. Because I see those ones. I do, when I do anything, not high quality. Yeah. I'm the most high quality chick there is.

Okay. Right? Lady Gaga tells the menace like years, the old class. Lady Gaga tells teenagers not to have sex. What? She says her teenage fans should abstain from having sex for as long as they can. Although she is comfortable talking

about her own sexual experiences and bisexual tendencies, the born this way singer doesn't want to hear her teenage admirers just jumping into bed with anyone. Instead, she wants her fans to remain chased until they're completely comfortable with losing their virginity. So she's meant that. Instead, she wants her fans to remain chased until they're completely comfortable with losing their virginity. So she's meant that. Yeah, I do too.

I think young kids should wait as long as they can before they have sex, and they should use protection from the first time to the last time. But I'm not afraid to talk about sex. Sex is not wrong, sex is real life. I don't see sex a bad thing. To be a bad thing.

And what I love, my famous, her, the best quote in here, is that she says, and this is what I believe, and this is one of my main reasons why I do this show. So Lady Gaga and I are like on the same page. Gaga believes sex is a driving force behind everything in the world and behind music. And she says it sex is an inspiration for all of her songs, like something sexual. And I believe that people don't look at how sex permeates our culture, but it's like why we bike certain car or why you wear that shirt today. You're like, this is a good looking shirt.

Maybe I'll get laid. I mean, I really, like every, all the decisions that we make in our life, a lot of them are about sex and sexual tension and sexual tendencies and just like wanting to be desirable, wanting to be desirable, other people. I think that, you you know sex is the... I think that's what everything leads to to agree with you because I've tried to express this to my friends before.

I'm like, why do you guys want to make so much money? Yeah, cool. They want to have, you know, nice, like, electronic things and stuff like that. But they do want to be flashy to attract more women to get laid. Everything that men do is about getting laid at the end of the day. And it's true, and that women, biologically, evolutionarily speaking, we are programmed to look for men who can be caretakers. So we're obviously attracted to men who have more money and who have some women are. 9% of them. A lot of them are. They want men who can be the caretaker and they want

of babies and they want to, you know, the guy to stay home. I'm not necessarily that woman, but I say that most people are. Just all your friends. Just all my friends. No, my friends aren't actually. I love how I love when women talk about other women. They go, it's not me, but I know a ton of girls like that. Dude, I did it guys with so much money that I never- No, I'm not talking about the money thing. I'm just talking about stuff like in general. I'm like, oh, I know a ton of girls, I'm not a slut, but I know a ton of girls that are sluts.

Like they always say, I know people like that. Right, my friend. My friend. Yeah, exactly. But I think that the money thing is interesting and I do think that a lot of men, and I think that we do look, here's my thing about guys with money,

because even like the older you get, it's like, it's not even that they have money. I think it's more of like successful, like just women are attracted to money. But I think there's something about success and about a man who owns who he is, and he owns his job, and he loves what he does, and he's successful and he's powerful,

and that is just attractive, like a guy who just like owns his life and owns his work and has a responsible and all that stuff is just attractive. And that if that happens to me, he has money while bonus, but usually it does. Like it correlates. Yeah. A guy who's, you know, the older you got successful, like, you know, in your 20s, like guys you're dating like are, you know, don't have jobs or whatever. Not always, but sometimes.

Yeah. Yeah. So Lady Gaga. And then she says, yeah, it's an inspiration for everyone. I love her. I really do. I think that she's really amazing. She is amazing. She is amazing. People that don't really know a lot about her, they'll blow her off as like some weirdo pop star, but if you really like look into the core, do some research about Lady Gaga, she is pretty amazing. Yeah, I think so too. And I know, I always say I meet celebrities and they're awesome. I'll tell you when a celebrity is a dick.

Okay. I hung out with her before and she is. When did you hang out with Lady Gaga? She came by my work and hung out. She just came out. Just before like she was, She had a couple of singles out. She was a huge, no, she just came to hang out with

She was cool. She all dressed up crazy. Not too crazy. There's a picture of it on my Facebook if you want to go Facebook.com slash white menace Come front with menace white menace.com and you'll see me there with her Everyone should go to white menace.com. I know it's huge. I have so much non-sex relief. We got to connect your website to my website Put it on less done., mine's a corporate website, so you have to pay to be on my website really? But I'll figure out a way to be on your website. You have to pay to like put banners on my site Oh, it costs a lot of money. I cost a lot of money But I'll I can't afford you. I'll see if I can work. I'll see if I can work something

So that's why like why do I go? I actually had a one time from sex with Emily ask me why I don't have I Did I did on my old site right then I had to go to my corporate one and my corporate one you got a page Well, we're gonna do like a little photo shoot and have a minute assembly page because we're so cute Yeah, kind of flow of shoot. Hey, I don't know. What do you think? It could get fun and interview you just want to make a sex tape. No. An interview with the hooker teacher. Okay, if you read the news, you know,

it's not all that uncommon. A school teacher turns out to be a sexually active woman with a history of sexual activity and promptly loses her job for it. So there's been all this stuff in the news lately about like, you know, former stripper, former pin up girl, you know, former playboy model, or a woman who sleeps with her students, like that's a little separate.

But you always hear about teachers using their job. But this woman is a hooker. They're calling her the hooker teacher, because in 2010, she wrote for the Huffington Post about the time she'd spent as a sex worker. Two weeks later, she was on the cover of the New York Post under the headline, hooker teacher. And now more than eight months later, she lost her job, can't get another job. She's got two master degrees and eight years

of work experience. And she's been subject to an intense slut shaming campaign and cannot find a job. Well, that's cool, but she was still Hooker. Like years ago, she wrote that. That's awesome that you have all those degrees, but you're still let people sleep with you for money. She was stuck for a lot.

It's like the guy in real world who did porn. Like people do things for money. That's cool, but you know, you you still let people sleep with you for money. She was stuck for a lot. It's like the guy in real world who did porn. Like people do things for money. That's cool, but you know, you don't have to go to the Huffington Post and tell them about it. I know, which she, I mean, it actually wasn't a brightest move. Like if she's a teacher and that's really where she's all

about and she got the master's degrees, I would let that leave. And this day and age, it's like everyone wants to express everything they do online. Yeah. I can't imagine why No, I do that check us out. That's excellent. That's that's actually me.com Have you been there lately?

Tell me everyone I want to hear what you think of the new site You get it like and if you have any glitches or any issues with it You have to let me know because we're fixing it every browser. I know certain browsers had issues They should be the I'm sure they were fixed What no, that's just because the site was only like a week and a half old, but I emailed back with them and everything's all good now. Okay, good. It's all good.

How about when we're understanding the whole Friends of Benefits thing and all that stuff? Okay, and then we have a, okay, so we have a poll, we have some emails too that we can get into. Okay. That's our sex in the news today, unless you had any sex in your own news. Okay, we have a poll that we put up on the website three times a week. Okay. We'll get it. Okay. Okay. We have a poll that we put up on the website three times a week. So here's our latest poll.

What is the sexiest place to be surprised? Oh, do we, did I read this when yesterday? Did I do be surprised by a half-quickie? This is the final result. No, I'll let you proofread that, but I want to, I'll let you see that. But I do have sex in news. You just remind me. Go.

The, did you know about all the, the, the playboy club houses like you know back in the day in the 60s and stuff like that? No, so playboy had all the playboy clubs. Okay, right you can join the music and the models would yeah, we had the business people come by and all that stuff Well now they're doing a TV show based around those times Oh, the original one original one was in Chicago. Right. So what you did was you paid to be part of the club and you can take, you know, if you had, you know,

a business meeting or whatever, you can take your clients with you inside the club. You got your own key and the bunnies would just hang around and in their bunny outfits and serve you drinks while you were having your meeting. So they're resurrecting that or it's a fiction. It's a, it's a, it's a, a, near a it's a it's a it's gonna be a TV show based around this time. No, it's not a reality show. But they did they had them all over the country. They did close them down and they reopened one in

2006 and lost Vegas, but it's not really, you know, it doesn't really go to the the actual times and you know where it was really classy you know you just had and you know who was one of them that worked in the New York one what a bunny was the girl from who sings the song about the pussy cat long time ago blondey blondey really Blondie was original bunny so if you Google Blondie and the playboy bunny Club, okay, you'll see like she was beautiful. She wasn't blonde at the time. She had you know Yeah, she wasn't blondie, but check it out It's really cool. So that's my sex in the news. Thank you. Madness fear on sex in the news. I appreciate it

I don't have any sex in the news of my own I'm not sexy and oh and one more thing speaking about Vegas, I really want to do a show from Vegas. Okay, let's go because I would. Can we do that? Can you make this all happen in Vegas? I. We don't have to do it like a recording. Oh, but I do know studios out there.

Yeah, I can make a call. I know studios are too. I can make a call. I was on a show there once. Yeah, okay. Let's do it because we're recording at Citro.com. Sorry to get off an entangent. We're recording at Stitcher.com. Sorry to get off an entangent. We're recording at Stitcher.com, which is they let us use their studios every

day. It is an app that you can download for your smartphone and you can listen to our podcast. And also who's on here is Kevin Smith. Now remember I was telling you like a couple weeks ago, I want to do a show from Vegas, right? Well, guess what Kevin Smith's doing? What? He's going to start recording a podcast once a month in Vegas starting in August. So can we go beyond it? Or we do our own. I don't really do. I don't really have a personal relationship with them. Okay, so you're just saying he's doing one of Vegas. I'm just saying he's doing one of Vegas because it would be super fun. Oh my god. We would have a little last time. Vegas. We so waste. Oh my god. It's so wasted. I think we should go. We keep talking about our live shows. We're going to be doing it.

We're going to do it. We haven't done it. Let's do it. Planet. We'll look calendar. We'll do the whole thing. Okay. So our new sex poll is what's your favorite fantasy?

I want everyone to go vote on this right now. Watching your partner have sex with someone else, having sex in a public place, being domed during sex or three sums. What's your number one fantasy? Everyone go to my website and vote and we'll be reading your results on Monday. what's your number one fantasy everyone go to my website and vote and we'll be Revealing your results on Monday. What's your number one fantasy? My number one fantasy is watch a partner have sex someone else know have sex and public place done that know be dominated during sex I like to be more dominated during sex. Yeah, yeah putting your place three sums of done. I mean

I have to pick yeah, no, yeah, I like to dominate, but I like to I like to I like to be to to dominate sometimes too, but I think I like to be out of all of those if I had to pick. I've done three sums. I've done sex in both ways. And I I actually, I don't want to get into it, but yeah, so I would say being more more dominant because I'm dominant in my day to day life so like to be dominated is the hot I think. Cool. What about you, man? What would you choose on that list? I would probably pick dominated. Really? And then probably three some. Okay, right. Three some. I mean, every guy wants a

three some. Every guy wants a three some I know. Yeah. So those are that. That's our pulse. Don't quote our poll every day. We're gonna have a new, every three days a week, we're gonna have a new poll. And I got a new blog post up and all that stuff. So what's up in the mail, my favorite? I wanna hear what people have to say. Okay, man, eight months ago, I started a new job.

There's a girl there who I'm interested in. I wanna ask her out, but I don't wanna embarrass myself. If I get turned down because I still have to work there. And I don't want to be that guy. We've had small conversations, enough combos to be nice and not to look like I'm interested. I need to get to that next level because I'm suffering over here. How can I break the relationship ice without looking like a purve? PS, love the show and Kaggle Camp.

Kaggle Camp is my app for the iPhone, which you should all download now. And that's from Stan. Okay, Stan, I think that you should just start talking to her. I mean, you just gotta, you can't overthink this. Like, I think I think either I'm into this girl or I'm not into this girl. And if I'm into this girl, then I need to act a certain way. I just see if she's just treating her like a friend,

just being normal, like just don't overthink it. And you want to know if he asks her out, he should just be like, hey, we should go grab a drink. Don't you think? Well, men asleep with everyone in his office. So he could say, yeah, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't make that like we should hang out type thing. I don't do that. I just wait. You just wait for them to say something. So every girl to be safe. So you're sleeping with everyone in your office. And you're saying that they've all come to you. I swear. Yeah. Then you're pussy. Why don't you ever make the mood? Because I don't because to be safe. Well, this, this is wrong. There's so many

like sexual harassment suits out there. It's very hard for a guy. Well, first thing, he's got to be careful in the workplace. That's true. I'm assuming their colleagues and he's not our boss Yeah, so and he's had enough conversations to be nice and I think that the next level is that you just got to say Do you want to grab a drink? Hey, we do have to work. Let's go. Look. Have a lunch You want I'm gonna need to sandwich on this to you. It's good sandwich. It is okay lunch could be How about like we get lunch? Oh, we're going for lunch. You want to yeah? Oh my god They have the best Thai food that's that's that And then they get to go for like the afterwork special. So let's go with the lunch first. Stan asked for a lunch. Every day we got to take a lunch break. Exevere me. I don't take lunch breaks.

But most people do. Yeah. And I think lunch just like casually. Hey, let's get lunch. That that to me is benign. That doesn't say like I want to fuck. I want to sexually right away. Yeah. That says let's get a grab lunch and be friends and then see what happens You can see there's a love connection, but don't but it's awesome You have to make it like it's not out. He's freaking out. He's nervous So you gotta make it like it's not a big deal. Like the lunch is not big. Oh, yeah, you gotta be like totally Like all going into lunch. You want to you want to roll the ball, you know Yeah, you know, and then she goes now I'm like right, cool. And then it's no big deal. Right, exactly. That's what I'm saying.

That's how you gotta be. But yeah, no, because look, the way I play it like that is because it's so hard for a man because you can get busted for anything. If you're doing that, like, you can have a sexual harassment lawsuit filed on you, like, nothing if you're a guy. Yeah, but not if they're going out for Thai food for lunch. I know. That's why we recommend that. So that's why I don't say, oh, let's go have a drink

on a Friday night. Right. You know, don't do that. Don't do that. OK. Play it safe with the lunch. Get a feel of how far you can go this day.

Exactly. OK. I think that's good. Good advice. OK. Stand. No more. Go for lunch. You have no people get fat.

But why isn't it usually when it's like there's subordinates and it's like the boss and the support? Like what if you're no, it's yeah, it's colleagues. I know colleagues that have gone fire. Surprise you've gone fired yet for that because I told you how I do it. I wait, yeah, wait for them to say hey, we get a psycho chick bunny boiler who pretend she didn't come to you and What what funny boy? Okay, do you ever see fatal attraction the movie? Oh, so I'm I'm bringing up a movie reference All right, so in the movie Glenn close plays the boss of I think they were she works with Michael Douglas And then at the end she becomes totally psycho and she like they have this affair and then he tries to end it and She goes to his house. They have a pet bunny rabbit for their kids and she like they have this affair and then he tries to end it and she goes to his house

they have a pet bunny rabbit for their kids and she boils the bunny. So I wheeled my friends and I always joke like oh she's psycho she's a bunny boiler. That's pretty disturbing. You never heard that you know what I mean? That's good movie. You should watch it, you should watch it, Mattis, because you might have some bunny boilers in your future Hell no, dude. I ain't getting down on no bunny boilers. Okay. You think see you know You didn't think she was a bunny boiler. Yeah, she was like cool and she's boss. Yeah, but that's any Any chick that's any chick though. It doesn't matter if she's at work or you Or do or do I know dudes that I think they're super cool and then they get one drink in them and then you think they're like the unibombers.

Yeah, I know, I know. You're right, you're right, you never know. Be careful, be everyone, be careful out there. Hey Emily, I'm Reeze, 19 years old and live in the UK. I've been listening to your podcast for some time now and I love them. Your show offers a great insight into a subject that often isn't discussed socially.

And for that, I want to say thanks. I know you've touched on the subject many times but it's still an issue for me. Recently I've grown more confident, I have no issue in approaching a girl I want to talk to, I mean what is there to lose. My problem is in the bedroom. I love foreplay and I love teasing and pleasing a woman, giving oral sex is a big turn on to me. However, when it comes to having sex, I always end to- I always seem to end far too fast. Therefore, even though technically I'm not, I still classify myself a virgin, as I have not enjoyed or had steady intercourse. I've been given the advice to just bite the bullet and go straight for intercourse, which I have tried and failed every time, plus it's not that hard to skip the build up and expect her to start having

sex with me straight away. I've been to doctors, tried a penis ring, tried breathing techniques, but nothing seemed to work. I want to go out and draw myself, but this is a huge issue for me. It is what stops me from doing more than just talking to women. I've lost my confidence with talking to women, taking women back to my place. What should I do? Read's from the UK. Well, it sounds like you've gone to a doctor that's great and I think a lot of when men have like premature ejaculation issues and that what he's saying, right? But he, I think that a lot of it is psychological that it happened once and he's creating it this to be this whole drama in his life and it's freaking him out.

So one thing I would recommend is there's a great book and I know this has helped many men and it's like the most recommended book. It's called the most recommended book. It's called the Multi-Orgasmic Man. It's by Montauk, Chia, and Douglas Abrams. And it's a really, really popular book and I know men personally and a lot of men, a lot of sex-sologists recommend this book. It has a lot of techniques for you that you exercise that you can do that can help you

and gain your confidence back. Because it sounds like you've gone to a doctor and done on the subject. I appreciate it. But you also have to just like re, it sounds like you've gone to a doctor and done on the subject, I appreciate. But you also have to just like re, it's like retraining your mindset because you've created this that has become this whole drama. And I think that check out this book and see what you think and just don't be so hard on yourself.

And just because it happened if you once or twice doesn't mean it's gonna always happen. And you're young, you're still learning, you're 19. Don't let this be your thing. Don't let this become a book, what you're young, you're still learning, you're 19. Don't let this be your thing. Don't let this become a book. What you're about. I think also that you should try a test. You know how we do the 36 day challenge type-in?

Yeah. Maybe you should masturbate every day. Yeah. For 30 days. I think so too. And try to build up a tolerance. Well, that's what the book is about. The book teaches men how to get to the point

where they're about to orgasm, but they don't actually orgasm, and they learn to train themselves to stop at that point. Yeah. It's a really, really good book. It's been around for a while, and it's just, it's helped, you know, thousands of men, hundreds, millions. I don't know. It's sold so many copies. It's been around for like 15 years, 20 years, and it's a great, great book, and I would recommend it. Pre-game, and buddy, pre-game it. Pre-game, everybody. Pre-game. Menace pre-games. Pre-game. What if you don't know you're going to have sex

and you didn't pre-game, though? Then you're screwed. No. Then maybe have a little nip of this, a little nip of that. You want the alcohol menace? I'm just saying, I promote alcohol. Alcohol is a wonderful thing, unless in moderation. Do you really think you better sex in your drunk?

Do I have better sex? I enjoy sex more when I'm drunk. Yeah. Have you had sex sober? Yeah, of course. Okay. But I enjoy it more when I'm drunk. You know, do you remember it? Yeah, of course I remember it. Oh, okay, good. Because sometimes you think you're having great sex in your drunk, but you're you actually drunk. Yeah. And you don't remember it remember I think it feels better. You don't think so. I don't get that wrong. We're not we're not promoting for people to get weird. No, no, no, I think I mean I have so many sober friends. For some reason I have a lot of sober friends and they think sex is so much better when you're sober. They just can't handle their shit. That's why I know, but that whatever they're they're they're they don't drink anymore And they're like sex has gotten so much better since I've been sober. I think well, I have to say that No, it's true. You become more sensitive to it. You know, I've been we're blocking out and they can't remember I think maybe use alcohol because you're nervous and it and get your it you might be it gets it lessens your inhibitions It makes me more into it

Okay, man, that, whatever works for you, it's longer than you're having sex. Yeah. Hey, I'm glad I've listened to the show for a few months and I finally got a question for the show that I've never heard discussed. I'm a sophomore at Madison and recently been struggling with this identity problem.

I feel that today's men can classify their masculinity on a spectrum. On one end of the spectrum is the metrosexual. By metrosexual, I don't be more fashionable, but also better at expressing their feelings. These are the nice guys that sometimes lack confidence, romance, and other dominant, but attractive traits. Think Michael Sarah or Jesse Isomer.

Then there's the retrosexual, a return to more classic values in which the man is confident, sexual, and romantic, but doesn't believe in expressing all of his feelings all the time. Think Don Draper for Mad Men or Han Solo. Okay. I understand that the vast majority of men are some kind of hybrid between the two.

However, I'm interested in knowing which of the two camps do you think girls prefer? Do you think this world needs more sensitive guys or more confident guys? P.S., I love when you call men as honey at the beginning of a statement. It only happens once and where I'll but the sentence that fouls the honey is always entertaining. Keep up with the great work on the show, Mike. When you say honey, that means you're pissed at me

for something. When do I call you honey? When you're mad at me for something? No, I know honey. Honey, listen, listen. That's how you do it. I do? I don't even know.

I'm not listening to you. That's okay. Good, fine, what apps. Okay, so I think, no, okay, your question is a great, actually, I think this is a very well-written That's how you do it. I do? Yeah. I don't even know. I'm not listening to you yet. Okay. Good. Fine. What apps? Okay.

So I think, no. Okay. Your question is a great, actually. I think this is a very well-written, great question. And I don't, I think that he's going through a identity problem. And he wants me to answer it for him. And I don't think that that the world needs one of the other more sensitive guys or more confident guys.

I think that you need to figure out who you are and what kind of guy you are and you shouldn't try to be like anyone else. I think that the secret to life and the journey in life is becoming more of who you are by just accepting yourself and doing work on yourself and figuring out what kind of guy you wanna be and being that guy.

I don't think that there's a demand, like a spectrum, like some women, like, you know, guys who are more sensitive. Some women, I always dated, like I went through spectrum, some women, guys who are more sensitive. Some women, I always dated, I went through period where I dated guys who are super sensitive because I wasn't as much. So in my 20s, I was like, I would date guys who were more,

people always laugh, they had, they let, they, as soon as we date, people that compliment like what we're missing. So we tend to like date. I wasn't as much of a typical female. I didn't cook, I wasn't as nurturing. I think I am more so now, I don't as much of a typical female. Like, I didn't cook. I didn't, I wasn't as nurturing. I think I am more so now, I don't cook so,

but I'm more nurturing and more. So I would date guys that were super sensitive. And I think you just kind of like something that fills in your gaps kind of like what you lack. But I'm not gonna give you an answer here what women want more because I think that's what makes the world go around. There's someone for everyone.

And I think that your work is figuring out what you are. What kind of guy you are. But I think that's in your 20s you go through identity crises in college. And I remember being in college and thinking like, how do I more of the hippie chick and my more of the athlete and my more of the sorority girl because I was in the sorority. So I remember like you feel in your 20s. I remember this thing that you have to kind of choose, but then the older you get, you just sort of realize you are who you are and you just kind of fit into whatever. And so I think that you just rather than

looking at that way, just kind of start working on yourself and figuring out who you are. Yeah, I started, I don't know. Honey, what? I don't know if it's a confidence thing that girls like but I started making the statements lately that I've I think I'm in the happy state of like what I'm doing that I just I don't care to impress people anymore Right, I I don't care if people like me. I don't care if you know I have to do certain things to get girls to like me Girls then girls have been seeming to really dig that attitude that I know it's confidence We're gonna get into that in a minute. So so coming up is is our segment that is how nice guys can finish first without being a jerk like men Yeah, oh really no, but how nice guys and I think that it is there's so much, I mean, the number one thing

that I think that women always say they find sexiest in a man is confidence. And so you're in a really good phase in your life, like your career, you're taking, you know, is booming, you're super successful. And yeah, that's hot. I mean, I think and you're comfortable in your own skin. I mean, that's the thing. It's like the guys that aren't quite comfortable in their own skin yet like it's just not as attractive to women. Women who guys who are like, I know what I'm about. I got my stuff together.

Even if you don't you fake it till you make it. Yeah, of course. Right. Yes. Like that. So what are you looking for now? What type of those ones? What are you looking for? Okay. Um, confidence or um, I'm looking for a hybrid. What? I'm looking for a hybrid. I'm looking for a hybrid I think I'd like the hybrid guy I want I mean I want everything I want a guy who is super confident But I also want a guy you can like do with like sensitive things like if I'm having issues I can talk to him about it and he's not gonna be like really are we talking how much how much talking do you have to do? You I love when you want me to quantify everything. I was always like, okay, so how long is the foreplay?

How long is the thing? I'm not a needy chick. I'm not needy, I don't need it that much, but when I do need it, I want it. Like I want a guy who can listen and be sensitive and not try to fix. That's what men do. They're like, oh, she's got an issue.

So all of a sudden, they're fixed. It had the little construction hat goes on. They're like must fix the situation. And a lot of times women, we just really's got an issue. So all of a sudden, they're fixed at hat and their little construction hat goes on. They're like, must fix this situation. And a lot of times women, we just really want you to listen. And hold this. If I listen. If I listen, do I get to have sex with you afterwards? Yes.

For sure. Oh my God, you would have to. Yeah, but well, I mean, it's a guarantee. If I sit there and listen to you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Are you going to have sex with me? Yes, because I'll be so turned on that you were so sensitive and warm to my needs. Yes.

Does you just have no desire to listen to a woman? I mean, they, what? They go on and on. What, they're annoying. Let's go on and on and on and give them advice until they don't listen. They don't listen. It's just so annoying.

You know what it is? We don't want, this is so, the crux, what it is? It's so we don't want this is though. This is so the crux This is one of the major crux of the male female men are from ours women of her Venus Women we just want you to listen we want you to like we'll tell you about our bad day or shitty boss or bad boss Or whatever and we don't want you to try to fix it but men go into fix it We want you to listen and we want to know that you hear us But we don't necessarily need you to fix up a men like your brains are all about fixing the problem. Yeah. So women want you to listen. Can you get naked while you're talking? Sure. I'm always naked. I can naked. Yeah,

I'll get naked and I would talk about that. That would really help the situation. Maybe that's a good compromise. Right. But never have the conversation like in bed though, like after sex, bad times of a conversation. I know. Men feel so trapped. I know they're like oh, man I just want to go to sleep and watch sports at her get down a lot of serious conversations in bed after sex But before sex maybe or you know hold different time at brunch perhaps Brunch family of men's I have brunch. I know you don't have brunch. No, I'm a leave man. That's a brunch. I have brunch. I know. You don't have brunch? No, I don't have time for brunch.

We don't lunch. Lunch? I had my buddy was visiting from Arizona and he brought a burrito to my work and that's the only reason I had lunch. I usually don't have lunch. Ever? Ever. So maybe like, I probably won't eat till like three in the afternoon.

Okay, got it. So, but brunch is a weekend thing I do brunch on the weekend with my friends That's amazing that you have time to do that The weekends I barely do but I like to I've actually have a group my cabin friends We go for brunch a lot on Sundays. I actually have a brunch this Sunday with some relatives How about that? I'm a lunch brunch is my favorite meal because you know why? Why?

Because you get, okay, I love brunch. Do you still have lunch if you have brunch? No, no, no, no. Because it's a brunch. It's breakfast and lunch. You don't have like brunch and then lunch. So it's one meal for two meals? Yeah, but it's a big one.

So this is what I love. I love that you can add. No, brunch is appetizers. No, it's not. I'm gonna swap planets. I thought that's what brunch is. No, brunch is eggs and bacon and toast and one juices. That's breakfast.

You have a brunch is more like a bigger breakfast and a smaller lunch. I'm all about brinner. You know what brinner is? It's breakfast dinner. You can do whatever you want. But you know I love breakfast food or brunch food is because it there's so many different things. There's

like the toast and the eggs and the bacon and the potatoes and then the orange juice, the coffee and the water. And I love having all those. Just like this thing called breakfast. It's like a brunch. Okay. It's called a late breakfast. Yeah. Hey, Emily

and menace. I just heard you mentioned my email about swingers and them not all having ponytails Lies my husband will never have a ponytail his job won't allow it and they are tacky We've been into swinging for two years. Yeah, but when you're at your swingers party you're you are rocking the the leopard skid pants and the extreme v-neck shirt in the the leopard skid pants and the the extreme v-neck shirt.

Not necessarily. We only and you're overly tan. We only saw. And he's wearing a earring. Why are you doing this? I'm just breaking down. He may not have a ponytail, but he has even met a swinger. Yes, I have. Many of it plenty of swingers. I hang around you. Hey, I got invited to a swinger party this Saturday night. I even think we hang around me. I got invited to a swing or party this night. I you think hang around me. I got invited to a swing or party this. How do you get invited to swing as parties all times because you hang out with swingers? Some. Yeah. I'm in front of that. I see your swinger friends. They're cute. That one girl's cute. No, she's not. What? Okay, what? Okay, listen. So can I finish this? I know a lot of swingers. I in San Francisco whatever I do a sex show

They come around A lot of them And there the you know the thing about the swingers is you think that swingers like menace a stereotype They all have ponytails. No, no swingers are your dextra neighbors. They're the ones you're swinging The ones that you the least the people that you least think are swinging or swinging Why do they all the swingers I meet they look weathered? You know what I'm talking about no like they've been through some shit Well, cuz they've been through a lot of sex. Yeah, I think you're right

Well, you don't think I'm right, but I am right honey. You're not right. Okay. Well, let's get some swingers on a line I'll show you a female for a second. All right, okay, and I'm not bagging on this email I'm just talking about everybody else. We've been into swinging for two years. Yes. We only soft to swap. And there's more normal everyday people that swing than you can imagine.

What the hell is soft swap? I don't know. We'll be making out. We meet all different, we met all different swingers. And we went, when we went to hedonism two different times. They were, it's, I think that's a place. A hedonism is like a resort, maybe. They range from cops, teachers, military bankers, doctors, et cetera.

Swinging actually brings a little spice to the relationship. It's not an everyday thing for us. More so summers when the kids see Grammy invocations. Not sure what kind of swinging update you want, but I'll be glad to share whatever you want to know. A loyal listener, Allison and Virginia Beach. Thanks, Allison. I want to get more swingers on the show.

I go, I have had swingers on the show and I mean we've done 200 God in this show. If you're a swinger, why be married? Why put a label on things? You know, why put your status on Facebook? If you're a swinger, if you're hookin' up with up with other people why even I mean you have a partner yeah you're partner but why even having like you know it's a human condition that you're gonna want to have sexual other people I know that you think that you're not gonna want to know I'm not saying that I'm saying why even get married well they

have kids because that's always a good reason to get married. No, but yeah, it is a good reason. So if you want kids, listen, man, some people want to have kids and they want to have sex with them. You can't have kids without me, Mary. You can, but what? So what? You can be married in the man making your brain experience. Stop talking for a second. I think that's sweet. I keep on winning the conversations. You're not winning. You're just talking about it because you're talking over me. No, I I I proved the point you can have kids without being married, correct? Right, but you're having a problem with their choice of being married I'm not I'm not having a problem. I'm just saying why that's not saying because people want to get wrong to be married

There's nothing there. They're mutually exclusive. Why could why can't you want to be married? I love this person my primary partner, but I want to be the neighbor to What's wrong with that? Say if they all agree? It's my part you see you you said partner Okay, my primary partner. Why isn't it just be partner? Why go through the whole ceremony? There's nothing wrong with me That's to his part and then I'm just out banging other people like It's not doing it all the time These people. This is my main, my main effort.

We talk about the sex is the main thing that we just earlier talked about. I was sex is like the driving force of everything. Lady God has said so too. It's a main force of everything we do that for people. For some people to say that till death, the worst part, you're going to be the last person I bone for the rest of my life. Just doesn't work. It's not realistic.

That's why people cheat. That's why the numbers are perpetuating that when and women eat cheat like 50% It is possible though to what to have a normal Marriage and not bang or I'm not telling people that all you should go on bang a lot of most people don't say if you're gonna Do that then just don't get married Okay, I hear you I I hear you open him. I don't agree. So you should get married and then go bang out of people. It's stupid. Sometimes, if you just look at the money factor, I think it's a waste of money to have this big ceremony where it's supposed to be this lifelong commitment.

But menace, they're... I can be committed for life without being married to you. But they're mutually committed can be committed to life They're mutually exclusive halving mutually exclusive when they're outbanging other people because they're married It doesn't matter you can be married But you can also be being other people and it doesn't matter It doesn't mean like you shouldn't be married and being other people did I again? I didn't say they shouldn't be married. I'm just trying, I'm wondering why they, why even do that?

Because they want to be married. I think that's the part. Because they really, really want, they love this person. They want to be with this person. But eventually you're married for a while or whatever. Maybe when I love people, I go and being other people. That's when I, that's how I should. I really love that.

Eventually, you've been with anyone long enough that you want to be in other people. Maybe what's your longest relationship? Two three-year relationships. Okay. Did you ever cheat? No good? Good for you. Okay. Should we get in some sex? Have you been a relationship where you haven't cheated? That's what I'm saying I have been I That's what I'm saying I have been I was I'm

What Next email I don't cheat I let you gather your words and we'll give it to it. Okay. I see that's what I'm saying Don't do that. Then you want me to never be called the cheat That's what I'm here. Yes. I used to cheat. I cheated. I've never been caught. I did cheat in my past. I do not cheat. Nor do I commit right now.

Yeah. So then you can never be caught here. But I'm going to commit. When I do commit, I won't be a cheater. I'll just be a singer. OK. All right. I'm trying to think if we should get into some sex tips.

I think we should because we've got 10 minutes. All right, ready? Yes. Does everyone notice that our friends with benefits shows are now an hour long every single for Yende? And their video podcasts. And their video podcasts. Right now you might be listening to this on iTunes.

But if you go to my site and you sign up and you become a friends with benefits member, you will see this show, everything that's going on. You can see me eventually you'll be able to see Menace. And we just, I mean, just if you support the show and you like it, if you've ever gotten one sex tip from the show that worked for you, become a friend of an interest member. It's five, four ninety five a month. Four ninety five a month. It's a class of three that's less.

Yeah, but I'm just, I'm just thinking it's just fifteen cents a day. One sandwich for, for Emily, I say this every day, one sandwich for Emily, nothing for me. I was thinking this morning it could be like a sandwich or it could be my muffin and my coffee, I get every morning. Yeah. Because that's not every not even every morning, once a morning, or once a month. Once a month. If everybody was listening, bought me my coffee, a muffin or a sandwich once a month, I'd be psyched. That's all I want. Yeah. And if you can't pay $4.99 a month, $4.95 a month, I'm dead serious. If you cannot pay that, then you shouldn't be listening to this podcast. You should be focusing on other things. Okay. I don't think that's a wrong statement. No. I think that you should not be sitting around

and listening to a podcast. I think you should be working on other things to better your life and then come back to the podcast when you have the 495. Exactly. I appreciate it. Okay, and soon I think they're going to be getting paypal. That'd be easier for everyone to write a card. Okay, how nice guys can finish first without being a jerk. All right, like menace. I added that, but I didn't mean you're a jerk. You're not a jerk at all. No, I don't think you're a jerk at all You hate my guts today. I love you. Why is the nice guys finished last? Why do nice guys think they need to be jerk to get girls There is some truth to women wanting the bad boy. Well, here's how you can be a nice guy and finish first First, let's look at what bad boys are like They can be unpredictable fun mysterious spontaneous and most importantly show a lot of confidence

Wow, that doesn't sound like a guy you would want to date at all. They only rule the only rules they obey are their own and they don't let anyone control them. These are like what's difficult. Sounds like a bore. No, this is what menace. I am just commenting on what you're reading. I know, but those are some stats. Those are like what bad those are like

traits of bad boys. Yeah. Okay. Some reasons girls give women give for liking bad boys. Women feel safe and protected. He's not boring. Never a dull moment. Bad boys are charming and lustful. He's no mama's boy. Makes women feel incredibly beautiful during sex. Brings out the true dominant and submissive roles men and women are biologically programmed to display. He's robust and competitive. Bad boys do not come across as desperate. So those are some typical traits that girl women are attracted to in math.

Okay, so do you have a list on why you shouldn't date them? I know, no, no, no. Here's some tips for how nice guys can kind of adopt some of these traits without being a bad boy and they can finish first. Okay. Number one, be spontaneous. Try suggesting activities that you don't normally do. For example, try something new that you always want to try or someplace you've never been

and experienced it with her for the first time. So that kind of keeps it exciting. You're like, hey, let's go to the, well, I don't even know what would be spontaneous and fun. Let's go to the let's go to the because you got a freaking My first thing no, but here's one thing my I had a guy once and I thought it was kind of cool This guy that the guy that I go to the cabin with my ex boyfriend But he's now like more like best friends, but our first day. He's like, let's go to the driving range I was like, okay I've never done that before like I'm not the driving range the driving range hitting

He had no hitting hitting golf balls. Yeah, but look what about take your no take her to the gun range screw golf golf balls Take her to the gun range. Then you look like a badass Girls don't want to shoot guns like really do some yeah, you're a chick's not mine Imagine I thought that was cool because he wasn't like let me take you dinner he was like I'm like here's a guy he's clearly interested in music let's go the driving range and it was cool and then he like puts our ravine show me how to hold the the stick what's it called the putt the driver yeah it's hot okay try waiting a while before you

call her this is a move let her keep guessing whether you'll call or not. It's just some saying don't show too much attention and you're shooting me down yesterday. In general, women love a challenge and they don't want a man that's too easy for them to catch, but don't wait too long. You're not actually trying to be a jerk. So don't call every day.

Like, okay, here's an example. My friend who's done J.D. went out with a guy last week. They had coffee. It was good. She's not sure how she feels. He has texted her every single day since their day. And she's done. She's like, why are you texting me every day? That's overkill. But if he called her once and asked her out again, maybe if he waited a few days and called her, that would be good. But that was overkill. So there's kind of a middle ground here, okay? So maybe you don't call the next day, but you call like a few days later.

Be the man. You wear the pants. When you're on a date, take charge, but don't push it. Remember to plan ahead so you can always have a backup plan in case something goes wrong. Always be adaptable to different situations. For example, if she hates a certain type of food. Be the man. Take control. Okay.

Be fun and generous. Remain light-hearted and upbeat about things are basically even more open. Don't act like a nervous or needy guy. Even if you feel that way, when you're on your date, the key is to not let it show. So I'm not telling you to fake it, but in a way I am. Fake it, take it, make it. If you're nervous, don't let that show. Nervous. It's like, it's like, women can, I can tell when a guy's nervous. Like, some guys have these habits when they're nervous. And they, I, I have a joke with my friend that my best friend, who's the one on J8 that we always like think that there's some guys have this nervous, you on. Like, when they're talking to you on the phone, they're so nervous. And they're like, oh, yeah, I'm just saying it out of the, it's like this nervousness. Like

we can tell when you're nervous. So just practice being confident. I want to go back. This is kind of like a confidence thing is never ask them, so what do you want to do? What should we do? Exactly. Never do that. You'll never get an answer from them. You'll never, ever, ever get an answer. It's so true. Okay, pay attention and communicate. Nearly all women prefer to communicate verbally and love a good listener. This is where most guys, nice guys shine. You'll impress her by remembering important things about her. For example, favorite color, pet's names, favorite song. If you're looking to meet a woman online, check over a profile to come up with questions you can ask about what interests are. This is huge. Okay, let me tell you about this. I had a boyfriend and he's still like the

max, the LA guy that I don't sleep with anymore that were friends, whatever. He always, he has this knack that he always remembered little things about me that made me feel really good and he'd be like, you know, he'd buy something in his house that I liked or he'd say, he just would remember my stories that I would tell him and he like oh yeah like that he's like yeah like when second grade when you do that thing like I'm like you remember that and he just always had these little things that made me feel special and that he like was listening and that he remembered so to like pick out those little things and it's not like you're like stalky or you're like I remember everything you say but he would just do funny things he's like hey

why are you like like, you know, we went to a movie once and I can't sit still in a movie as you know. Yeah. Because we went to a movie once, Menace and I and I didn't sit still in a movie. And you never, you didn't shut up. You're like talking through the whole movie.

What was the worst movie ever made? Yeah, but you don't talk in the movie. I know, but it was bad. I don't care if it's bad. I know. You don't talk. Menace and I haven't gone was bad. I Don't care if it's bad. I know I don't talk medicine. I haven't gone to movie since yeah, but anyway He was embarrassing. It was like a pressing people know what I was Things about me. He was like oh my god You've now you've moved around the whole time like I you were like a jumping beat like he does always right

I can't explain I'm trying to explain it here that just like the guys that pay attention to you and who you are And they point out things about you little things about you that they're like, that's cute how you, linkly all knows, you can never find your phone. For example, I lose my phone like 10 times a day and he's like, can't find your phone again. I don't know, just notice things. Yeah, I had a girl who told me like nine years ago

that the Pixies was her favorite band. She only told me one time. And now what? Then the Pixies came to town and I got her tickets to the show. Is this the girl that you like for years that you said? No, no, no. This is wild back. And like a couple days before, like, oh, I got you tickets to the Pixies because I know you like them. And then she, like couldn't believe that I remember because

see that would make me feel so good. That would make me feel so good. Okay, here's an interesting fact. The older women get the more they want to date, because that would make me feel so good. That would make me feel so good. Okay, here's an interesting fact. The older women get, the more they want to date the nice guy. What do you think about that? And also standing up for yourself. Dating a woman doesn't automatically mean

you just stop doing what you love. For example, if you already planned on going out with your friends and she wants you to do something with her, instead, it's okay to go out with your friends. So don't dump everything. Don't drop all your plans for her, okay? Can I ask you something real quick? You want a few minutes?

Yeah. Cause I think this kind of goes into the nice guy thing. It's just real life. Does a chick really want to sleep with you when she says, I don't want to see you right now with you because I really like you. Because you're like a nice guy, you know? What do you mean? Do they really want to see you right now with you because I really like you. Because you're like a nice guy, you know? What do you mean?

Do they really want to sleep with you eventually? Are they just saying that just so they don't have to sleep with you right then? Because you hear that about that all the time. I really want to see with you, but I really like you. Well, guys say that the girl's all the time too. Like I think like, what? Well, guys, guys not sleeping with a girl?

Are you saying that? That, no. I've heard that before. That's pretty good. Okay, you're sleeping with a girl. Are you saying that that? No, I've heard that before Okay, you're saying if a girl says that is she just blowing you off or she really like you Maybe she's saying it's case by case basis. Maybe she really does like you I mean, maybe she likes but my friends always say so you're saying if I was a asshole right now Then you would be sleeping with me, but since I'm a nice guy and you really like me then I'm not getting late Well, I think a lot of women and men should and do delay sex when they really like someone

They're like, oh, I really like this person and maybe you can go somewhere and there's no reason to rush that We need to switch the wording around though when women say that okay because it really throws guys off because then it makes I'm the nice guy Yeah, she's not into me. Yeah, yeah, I think that you probably means and doesn't want you to like blow her off if she's set with then it makes the night sky. I'm the nice guy. She's not in the bad boy. I think that you probably means and doesn't want you to like blow her off if she's set with you on the first night. That's what I think. Okay, and we got a few social.

We posted this on Facebook today and Facebook and my Twitter, which is sexual Emily. We got some responses from listeners about what they think about nice guys finishing lab. The question was, do nice guys always finish last? What do you think? Let me know. Okay, so someone said, no, Morris said, no, only the ones who have that have no love for themselves and hide behind the mask of being nice.

You are what you think. Loving myself doesn't mean cockiness. It's just an aura that you walk with. And at the same time, you are kind and the real nice guys finish first. Another person, Jack says, a great deal of energy and focus goes into finishing last. I would think that should be considered nice, yes.

And then DJ X911 says, not always, asshole card and the nice guy card, both usually have success, depend on the girl. It got to know how to play the game. For real. For real, you got to play the game. We're out of time. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily.

Was it good for you? Email me. Feed. We're out of time. We're out of time. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. It was a good for you. Email me. Feedback at sexwithemlee.com. This episode is brought to you by one of our amazing sponsors, Masks Sexual Flavor Strips. They enhance your sexual experiences with a taste of strawberry, mango, watermelon, or chocolate. It's kind of like a mystery strip, but for sex. So if you like sex and you want to make it even more enjoyable and you like hearing sex with Elmi for free, check out Mask at sexualflavors.com. Enjoy

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