Sex With Emily - SWE: Orgasm Obsessed

Episode Date: June 22, 2013

Almost everyone is orgasm obsessed. But it's hard to enjoy everything else when all you're thinking about is getting to that wonderful feeling at the end. It's all about the journey! Stop obsessing about orgasms! Calm down, slow down and listen to these tips on how to enjoy sex more and yes, learn how to experience orgasms all around. Also, how long do you have to make out with her before you can touch her vagina? If you want to change your love life and are interested in how to give a woman an orgasm, check out my good friends at: Crazy Girl, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Here's a special offer for you today: Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Crazy Girl. And, even more savings today: use code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. I'm always thinking of ways to make your sex life better so use these codes today. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. One of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of the incredible people at Good Vibrations. Good Vibrations is a sex-positive store carrying the best toys with an informative website at GoodVibes.com. I got my very first toy from Good Vibrations, so I've been a fan for a long time, and they never disappoint. They have a huge online store at GoodVibes.com, and you can literally find anything on there from toys to DVDs to games. Just click on the Good Vibrations banner at sexwithemily.com and enter coupon code GVMly20 for 20% off on orders of $100 or more. So check it out. You'll help yourself and you'll help keep sex with family free, just like it should be.

Thanks for listening and promise your sex life on proof. Book into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but what do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Aveline's not the kind of girl you just play with. language. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com. When you

can listen to our podcast, check out our blogs, videos, Center for Emailing Lists and RSS Feed. Please, a lot of people have been emailing me lately. How do I get all your old podcasts? We've got 170 shows now, and if you just sent out for the feed, you'll get them all. So yeah, hey, Menace, what's up? Nothing much. I am here with you, and I'm very excited about that. I need to ask you something, though.

Okay. It's not really, it has to do with sex, but you follow me on Twitter, right? Yes. It's twitter.com slash white menace. Do you think I'm drinking more lately? Because you know I'm a fan of our call and I've always thought like I'm fine, but I've had two people mention this week saying, hey, you have been drinking a lot more lately, which I have even, because I've been going out to a lot of events and stuff like that.

So I haven't, okay, to be honest, funny that you're asking, because the last two weeks, I've sort of not been on Twitter at all, as much as I was in the past, because there's a lot going on. But the point is, is it because of the things that you're saying, you seem drunk,

or are you like, hey, downing another gym beam right now, or are you like, well yeah, I say I'm taking a shot or whatever. Right. And then people are like, they're concerned. Is there something you want to talk about? No, I don't think you have a drinking problem. I don't think I have a drinking problem because I don't have to drink.

How many nights a week are you drinking? I mean, recently there's been a lot of events that I go to. Uh-huh. So recently, I would say maybe three times a week. That's pretty normal. But I'm not like drinking during the day. Well good. You're not drinking alone.

You're not drinking alone. Because there are like exams you can take online if you think you're an alcoholic. Are you serious? Oh yeah. There's like 20 questions. Do you drink alone? Do you have many times a week?

Do you drink? Do you feel anxious if you don't have alcohol? Are you preoccupied with supply? You're not like that. You're just like a normal guy who's out drinking. But it's apparently people are concerned. That's so funny. I thought I would ask you. I was not concerned. No. I did. I think I did tweet something that you tweeted. I retweeted something. Okay. It wasn't a crazy thing. It wasn't a crazy drunk thing. All right. So you're good. Okay. Cool. But if

you ever want to talk, we can talk about it. All right. Okay. So everyone, there's a few things that I got to let you know. You can always donate to the show. We have a donate button, $10, $20, whatever you want to give. We totally appreciate it. We're looking for advertisers always. If you want to advertise all this, you can email me feedback at sexfamely.com.

Please sign up for my fan page, which is sex with Emily on Facebook. And we have a new survey app that we would love to hear from you. What you like about the show, what you don't like about the show, and it's on our website. We've updated the survey so you can actually write in some things there because I really want to know what you like, what you don't like. You know, so you got to tell me.

And that's why I got to tell you. Today's show will be reading your emails that you sent to feedback at sex with LME.com. Topics include great sex after marriage. It actually exists dating in the Bay Area men and rejection and a bad and bad kissing. We'll also be doing sex in the news and we'll have sex tips for you. It's a female orgasm 101 class in session. All right. How about that? How you been? I'm good. I want to ask you now because we haven't seen each other because scheduling issues, but

what's going on with you and dating? Oh, well, I'm not banging. I'm still dating and I'm still dating you guys. Well, the one guy lives in Los Angeles, so I haven't seen him again, but he's been really sweet. He sent me care package that was really nice. And then the guy here is great. He's really smart. He's really amazing. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Not sure. Okay. It's not going to be like a major love connection, but I think he's this incredible guy. Great on paper, all these things, but I'm not sure that there's chemistry. Right. So why should I spend time? Yeah? Because he's really interesting and smart and all this stuff, but no, you're right. I'm probably gonna move on.

This move on. I don't think he listens to the show. I would not like to preempt my moving on on the show. So hopefully he doesn't listen. What about this LA? LA guys coming to town in two weeks. Oh, I have to tell you, what we're gonna say.

I'm going to LA this weekend, so maybe I can just have lunch. Do you wanna fed him, fed him out? Do you wanna like be like, I'll have him do a survey with me. Okay, what are you gonna ask him? Are you sure you wanna go down the Emily crazy road? What would you tell a guy before he was dating me?

What would you tell him, all that you know about me? Are you open to have an open relationship but you don't date anyway, just let her date more people? It's not my doing relationship. Is that is that work for you? And if he says yes and I said you should date her. You really think I'm polyamorous. Yes. People loved our polyamorous show we did last week. As you know, we're doing more shows now. Three to four shows a week and we did one on polyamory nom and oggy me last week and I got tons of emails about that and We're also doing these shows about

Where I and this is funny so you know I did shows with Jessica and a show with charisma And I have two more that I'm gonna be posting in the next few weeks with women Just one on one it's 30 minutes and I get down and dirty with the woman meaning questions asking her what she likes How she orgasms what her techniques are what she likes to do she orgasms, what her techniques are, what she likes to do to a guy. I mean, so it's very intimate women opening up about their sex life. Ton of people have loved those shows.

We've got a lot of emails, one was called Jessica, one was called charisma, but my friend Steve who's super funny, I was like, I wanna come up with a name for this show. And his name that he came up with for that show is loose lips. Loose lips. Are they?

Get it? Yeah, I get it. But I thought I was too dirty, kind of, because that was funny. I laugh, loose lips. Loose lips. I heard it. Get it? Yeah, I did it. But I thought it was too dirty, Connuck, because that was funny. I laughed, loose lips. I like it. Women, lips, they're lips. And not gonna do it.

And then, you know what else, he called it next? This is kind of bad. He was, why don't you call it vaginal discharge? You don't think that's funny? I thought that was so funny. No, I don't think that's funny. It's gross.

Okay, so I spent the weekend with a bunch of girls in Napa. Remember, he's going Napa? So I got a lot of the women to sit down there. And we had a few glasses of wine and they just opened up to me. So it was great. Did anyone make out? No one made out. The chicks, you mean the chicks? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What do they do? We just sat around by the pool. We masturbated. I shared a bed with my friend Jenny and we did not hook up. You know, when I, when I've been with women,

which I have been with women, it's never a friend. It's never like somebody that I'm good friends with and then one night we're hanging out. We just decided to make out. It's usually some random connection. Some random chat. Some random chat check. One was a stripper.

Nice. She's hot. She'd fake boobs. That was a while ago, though. So, yeah, no, no, no, no, it's up. I know you don't get it because you're a dude, but girls get together. There's 10 of us and one gay one gay friend. And we all just set by the pool and drink and talked about winners and talked about sex. Who had the craziest story? Any of them popped out? There's a lot of crazy girls are with crazy stories, but I

I can't think of anything off hand right now. Oh crazy stories like when I was interviewing them. Yeah, just they had They had some stories about I don't know you want to remember right now. I can't Always the crazy stories that I hear are how guys just can't let go and they end up showing up people's houses Oh, and they're like crazy and stalking them. I've had friends that that have done that to men Mm-hmm I have a friend recently who was dating a guy and she became obsessed with him and like drove over to his house And in like he lives in the East Bay and just to see if there was a girl there and there was a car door open A girl's car there and a door open and she went in and like looked in the car and

your girl's car there and a door open and she went in and like looked in the car and pulled out it. God. First to see the girl's name and then looked at her on Facebook. Oh God, you women are so crazy, but guys do that too. Guys do that too. Absolutely. Have you ever done that? No, hell no.

No, I'm not crazy girl. I mean, you one might say, oh Emily, she's a cookie, quirky. Remember my lawyer in Los Angeles? Like, I was telling them all about you. I said you're the quirky girl in San Francisco. So maybe I'm more quirky than crazy. Yeah. I don't know. But it's thinking, the people that are listening to this and they're thinking about doing crazy things

like that, it will never end up with you being with that person. I know. I know. It's true. But some women get these, like my friends who did this, it's like the really sane, really together. I've known her for 20 years. I've never seen her doing anything crazy and it was like kind of crazy so men I think and women get in relationships where it gets that level of craziness where you're like stalking and signing into their Facebook account and checking their voicemail and that's crazy I checked a boyfriends voicemail my 20s

like he gave me his password once and then I found out that he was totally cheating on me and it was awesome I just ended the relationship oh who would cheat would cheat on you, Emily? Well, he's the one guy that cheated on me, but then I cheated on him. It's a long story because I was traveling for six months. Oh, yeah. Like you went to Europe, like how? Southeast Asia. How would he still? I know. I was like, well, here's what happened. And it's so funny because we're still friends and we're having lunch next week. But what happened was I went backpacking through Southeast Asia for six months seven months And we were dating and it was still the new part of the relationship and we were like so in love and it was only three months But I said you know what do dumb I'm going back packing so I left doing back packing and I said and you should date

You should definitely go bang and something like I'm gonna like hold a little UN me like I slept with the guy I remember we talked about this. a step with like an Israeli, and I slept with the German and a British guy, and whatever, I was going for six months, I was having fun, but I'm like, you should, and he's like, oh no, I can't imagine me with anyone. And I was like, well, you should. And then I came back and he's like,

I wasn't with anybody. And then I come to find out he slept with his entire office. Oh, that's cool. So, that's not really cheating per se, because I did my thing, but the fact that he lied, and he didn't want to know about my stuff. Yeah. So that's what happened with him. Well, that's understandable because how is he going to tell you that? Oh, yeah, I

hooked up with all these chicks in my office, though. I was like, right, I'm going in your office. Now we got to see him all the time. I go to the company Christmas party. Yeah. See, that's why he's not gonna. You you, you bond him. You bond him and you bond him. Yeah. What do you tell you that? What would be the benefit? I don't know. I found out because I was looking for something in his bottom drawer. Oh, yeah.

And I found a card from this woman. It was after I'd gotten back and it was like, thank you so much for last night. Like he took her to see Les Mis or something play, a play. Do I? And no, not a dark end. So she, I knew that they were still dating. So anyway, whatever was a long time ago,

but we're still good friends. We're having lunch next week. Are you dating? What's up with you? Not dating. Not doing anything. Having sex? Here and there, yeah.

Here and there. That's good. I'm not really serious with anybody. Not really pursuing anybody. Right. I'm just hanging out. They. Okay. Hanging out. They pursue you. Ah, yeah, kind of.

I don't know. I'm not even paying attention right now. I know you're so busy. I'm so glad we just get our time together. I know, right? Yeah. You are my one date a week. Really?

I'm so honored. Thank you. You never bought me dinner or anything. I know, that's just how I, well. It's like most of them exactly. This is a typical men's date. You want to come like watch me at work and do my thing, you can show how I talk. Most of them, exactly. This is a typical men's day. You want to come watch me at work and do my thing, you can show up.

And then when I get off work, can we hook up? And then, uh, Are you saying you want to hook up with me afterward? Yes, let's go. You win. Remember that was a whole debate. We shouldn't bring this up again. All right.

Okay, let's get into some sex in the news. Okay. Because that's how we do it. Mm-hmm. As soon as we mix it up, sex is over. God, one freaking time, I didn't get a nap and I forgot the order. And you give me crap for every single time.

Yes, one time I thought we did the emails first before the news. And now every single time we're about to do the news, you point it out, this is how we do it. I understand. It's just like you with pointing out me with the retweeting. Did you see that tweet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, the guy was like congratulations on learning out of retweet I'm not Emily Morris if you want to find me on Twitter. I'm or I see anyway. I have to tweet more

Yes on the list. Okay, ready? So sex in the news. It's study that came out men don't mind condoms as much as women think Yeah, that's true. You don't think women. No man more refused to have sex with you just because you insist he were a condom. He made bitch and moan and say that he just got out of a monogamous relationship or was just tested or that he lathers his junky-ch morning in a voodoo potion made from eunuch tears. But ultimately, his desire to sex will override any of his petty objections. If he still refuses, you probably don't want to even share the same breathing space with him. It has probably been exposed to him.

His penis has probably been exposed to so many STIs that it's developed a new airborne form of AIDS. Anyway, the study came out saying that men, it's a survey over a thousand college students said that both groups said that they're willing to use condoms if they thought that their partners were, especially women in casual sex relationships vastly underestimated their partners' willingness to use condoms if they thought that their partners were, especially women in casual sex relationships vastly underestimated their partners willingness to use condoms. So I actually feel like there I mean it's been so long since I've had sex but there are those men who are like, oh, hate them and then you feel bad. I don't know any men like that. Really? You don't sleep with men.

Yeah. I mean, you can talk about that. No. No. I pay with a lot of guys who are like, oh really? Like I'm tested and then you have to use condoms. then the stay-in-age whenever you're having casual sex So I'm glad to hear that man or not even though they I don't want you prefer now go ahead No, I should get a condom that I prefer but I even had sex and so long God I don't even remember but I had a guy once who's like I'm too big for condoms condoms don't fit me Really and then he tried to he tried to put one on and it popped off, but he was like, you could tell that he was trying to make it pop off or so lame. I so didn't sleep with them. I'm like, time to put that thing away. Okay, it's time parents accept teen sex. When it

comes teen sex, we need to be paying attention to the Netherlands. So, Dutch parents commonly allow their teenagers. Male and female like to have sleepovers was significant others and new study finds. Even so when it comes to birth rates, American teens had ate times as many births as their Dutch counterparts in 2007. And the Netherlands generally whoops on the states in terms of STD rates as well. So, American parents can be more accepting of their children's budding sexuality, perhaps fewer teens would sneak out and have sex in the backseat of a car. Yeah, I don't know about that.

I don't know about that. You think our parents should be allowed to start having kids having sleepovers because they're doing the Netherlands. There's a lot of things that are happening abroad that we that we just can't, you know, we don't accept. We can't know Americans are. We're so deep in trench and sex and porn and being able to find everything everywhere. I don't have tight.

I think we're a tight. Yeah. I'm trying to break that down with my show here. I think them having sleepovers, I mean, when they get to a certain age, they're gonna be having sex no matter what. Exactly. I mean, I guess this way it's under your parents' roof, but still be kind of awkward.

Although my mom, when I was 18, my mom let my college boyfriend sleepover. Really? But my mom was very liberal. Like, my parents are divorced, my mom was just like whatever, she parents are divorced. My mom was just like whatever she didn't care. Isn't that what you think? Does she like them?

She really liked them. So that's a great guy. She likes them all. I mean, that's not true. But pretty much I date nice good guys. I just don't want to marry them. Yeah. So we know that story.

Okay, sex may reduce stress as study shows. A new study by universities, researchers suggest something that college students have known for decades, sexual activity may lower stress. The research was conducted on rats. Found that sex also stimulates cell growth in the hippocampus, a region of the brain that plays a key role in spatial navigation and long-term memory. Previous research has shown that unpleasant,

stressful experiences increase anxiety and can stifle cell growth in the hippocampus So anyway more sex means that we will lessen our stress and our anxiety I sometimes masturbate when I'm stressed is that same thing? I yeah, don't you think do you ever do that? I don't master You don't have a master but Tori stress episode. No, I don't know I'm anxious. Well, I work at home too a lot So I'm always home and I'm like about to write something or do

Something I'm like I think I'll masturbate. So you bust out one of your toys. Yes like like the rabbit or the Or I love the pocket rocket. Oh, I'm glad you mentioned that because we have a word from our sponsor. All right Adam and Eve Adam and Eve.com if you go to Adam and Eve.com They are a sponsor and they are having an amazing deal. You can get any sex to it under the sun. I suggest a pocket rocket.

I suggest a vibrating ring. I suggest the Hattachi Magic Wand. So Adam and Eve is offering 50% off of most items to all of the loyal sex with Emily listeners. And they'll even throw in three adult DVDs and a free gift plus free shipping. Just go to Adam and Eve.com, enter coupon code Emily at checkout. It's that easy. Take advantage of this deal. Go buy sex toys. Reduce your stress level.

Have you looked into a jacolod yet? I have. What do you mean of a jacolod? Oh, the one I keep on talking about. No, I don't remember. You got to like email me during the week. It like increases your load. Right. Increases your like jacolod. A jacoloid. Right. Yeah. No, load. Oh right, increases your Jackie load, Jackie Lloyd, right?

Yeah. I have not looked into that yet. Sorry, honey. That is hilarious. Okay, let's move into some mail. All right. What do you think about that? I like it.

I know you do. That's my favorite. Okay, this one's kind of long, but I really liked it. So I'm going to read it. Hey, Iraq, recently found the show. You're rock. He called me Iraq. Okay.

So how can I not answer his letter? Yes, by searching for sex on iTunes, and I love the conversational flow, the casual and spontaneous pace makes me feel like I'm in the middle of a discussion with friends, and the topics are relevant, fun, and thought-provoking. You rock. I want to set the record straight on sex after marriage,

and I think I can safely claim to know what I'm talking about. Whether the fire blazes or fizzles out, it is what couples make of it and anyone can make it outstanding. My wife and I have been together 22 years and are celebrating 15 years of marriage in December. We're monogamous yet are honest and open about who and what gets us turned on outside of one another

and are slowly considering playmate couples as a possible addition to an already healthy sex life, although neither of us is pushing harder than the other in that direction, so having like an open relationship. We're both almost 40 and began dating when I was a freshman in college and she was a senior in high school. Our sex life has only gotten better over 22 years and is hotter now more than ever, even within 11-year-old running around the house. We're still bangin' away like we're 18. The key is variety and not being afraid to try new things or let your dirty sides to show through fantasy, roleplay, toys, porn, sex in different places and in whatever position

you can still manage to contort to. It's unfortunate that most couples don't realize how important a good and exploratory sex life is to a healthy marriage and make the honest effort to keep the fire lit. Emily, your tips and talk just give more fuel to our fire and I appreciate that greatly. Thank you for well being you. Gotta get on your Facebook and wedge that website now. I thought it would end with a few statements in response to a few of the views that menist thinks he represents on the male population. I thought you'd like this. I represent all of the male population. Okay, and this is from D&K in Kansas City. He

says, hand jobs rule. If you don't believe believe so then your girl is in need of coaching and practice I'll take one from mine just as easily as I'll take a blow job or anything else. She's dialed on it long live the hand job Hand out to bake wow toys finally got a point after like four weeks toys in the but I know everyone's been Fomenis lately not that it's you or me against me, because this is all love, but anyway, Toys in the bedroom are the bomb, Dildos, Bioders, Lou, Vaginal, and you know, it's all good, and they are all, they are used only about 50% of the time in our house.

Let the insecurity go, brother. Learn to become a master at using them on her, and you'll love them and she'll love you for it. It's also a great way to allow the fantasy of two men without having the burden of finding another dude. I don't sweat it because I know my skills at simultaneous, man-o-l-n-e-r-l in her downtown area are requested more often than toys. Got to build the repertoire, menace.

Toe sucking, ball licking, and sucking, nibbling, nibbling are awesome for both parties. Again, lose the worries. Shave the junk. Keep the feet clean and learn to enjoy your different hidden hot zones. Technique makes all the difference. There's something liberating, very hot that comes with giving over total trust and letting your girl hold your balls with her bite.

Sounds like this guy got bad skills. And occasional angry beaver on shave a ginout is no big deal. When you're into your partner, dude, she has to live with your stubble scratching her vagina or in her thighs. The least a guy can do is put up with the occasional lazy razor trip downtown. Finally, labia is good, whoever says otherwise is issues. If men want to get so hung up on the size of the labia, they ought to take a look at their penis every once in a while.

Ask, would I be overly anxious to put that in my mouth if I were a woman? I have a beautiful penis. Cut the lady some slack sucking gently on Lebi as hard as hell. How big is too big? How small a penis is too small? Who cares? Keep on saving lives and erections, Emily, Dean Kay and Kansas City.

Wow. He ate a lot to say, this is what I love. People really listened to the show. Yeah. They break it down. They break it down. So I appreciate that Dean Kay and Kansas City. And I love that letter because you know people think I'm anti-marriage or I'm which I'm so not

And I always ask happy couples who are having amazing sex to email me because I want to hear it. So there you go There you have a happy couple a happy couple Labia everyone's trying to change you and to open up open up What do you say to me to be open. Open up? What do you just said to you? What do I need to be open about? I don't understand. Sex toys, hand jobs. It's not that I'm not open to the stuff. It's just not for me. You just said the problem I wanted.

You just said the problem I wanted. I'm just saying that. We're just because I don't like something doesn't mean I'm not open. I don't understand. Okay. I just think that you would like some things that I don't think you've been with women who have taken your sex life to another level. Okay.

That's just what I think, but I think it'll happen maybe. I don't think I have terrible sex. You haven't had an amazing hand job. Because women can't give amazing hand jobs. Oh, no, no, we're not starting that again. We're going to go on months. They can't give me a better hand job that I can give myself. It's impossible.

I just think that people who say that haven't had one from me. Okay. Oh, God. Emily. Emily, did you see the article where Paris Hilton allegedly hit a cigarette box full of blow in her vagina when she passed through costumes? I've seen some large vaginas, but think that that would be a good trick, though I've also seen porn or women insert wine bottles there, but that's in the short term. Not during a transatlantic flight, Robert

from New Mexico. Did you hear about that, Paris Hilton? She got, she was like in jail. She went back to court the other day because she was smuggling in drugs. Again? Yeah, again, like recently, like two weeks ago. Just out of babies? Yeah. No, no, no, she got busted in Vegas. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, she was in Vegas. Yeah. She got busted internationally somewhere. She was on the transatlantic flight. I don't know where she was going, but they busted her. And she, I think she was going somewhere else. No way. Yeah, and she put it in her side of her.

For Jean? For Jean. And she got, who do you want to snort that anyway? After. I don't know. I can't say anything really bad, because I've met her before. She's really nice. So by, I've partied with her before.

She's a nice, she's a nice sweet lady. She is a sweet woman. I think she's misunderstood. I do. Because you know what? I've parted with her before. She's a nice sweet lady. She is a sweet woman. I think she's misunderstood. I think she's seen what? I parted with her Sundance one year and she was super cool. And I'm not like trying to defend her actions, but believe me, there are thousands of girls that act exactly like she does.

They're just not billionaires and famous. Yeah, they're doing coke, they're partying, they're banging a bunch of people. And people look down upon her just because she's in the limelight. Look around you. You can find girls that every time it's got their party girls. There's girls that you work with in your office that are just exactly like Pericelton. Right, but Pericelton does it and gets paid for it. Yeah. Yeah, so I think, and I think it's sad because I do think that Parisette and Lindsay Lohan are role models

for a lot of young girls. Yeah. Lindsay Lohan sucks. I hate her. You do? Yeah. I don't really know her. I got no further.

Why? Over. It was at a music festival, Coachella, and Southern California. She was just a bitch. I hate her. Yeah. Well, what are you going to do?

Okay. Hey, Emily, love the show. I don't mind the show in smaller segments But wish sometimes that the shorter ones were longer. I liked episode one. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I we want to do longer shows Are you making a sex joke there? Yeah, the shorter ones were longer. Yes, I do too, buddy I like episode 149 with producer Jessica. I thought it was funny and it even got me aroused Episode 156 with charisma lane. Wow, sexy picture of charisma on the couch. I have to goof menace about the Wee Hooked Up debate. Menace and I are about the same age. When I grew up, Wee Hooked Up was making out, etc. minor things.

Then with the MTV reality show, take over, it evolved into Wee Hooked Up equal sex. Yes. But even I got confused. When did this change happen? And did TV really change things? And the lingo? Look forward to another show, Randy from the Bay Area. I listened, listening on iPod Touch while working on Thesis Project. Awesome. Hey, Randy from the Bay Area.

I think it's been in the past two years, two year and a half that it's we hooked up has changed into we've had sex. I'm glad we've dissected this for several weeks now, because I just said, I still say, oh yeah, we kind of hooked up. That means that we did not have intercourse. We, he touched my breasts, perhaps. But what you're saying is hooked up has sex. Yeah, so that, what you said before would be falling around.

We fold around. I should just say that. Okay. Because if you said we hooked up then everyone thinks you're having sex. Right. All right. Good to know. I need to have sex. Okay. I'm getting now I'm getting impatient. All right. I just want to find the right person to have sex with. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Hi, Emily. Just wanted to weigh in on your often repeated comments about dating in the Bay Area. Every few episodes you always mention that men don't date in the Bay area, they just hang out with girls and that we don't ask girls out in dates. I have to disagree

with you. When I moved here, I tried asking girls out directly in dates and oftentimes they would say no, or we can hang out if it's not a date. I went with the hang out option with them several times and we'd still end up having sex. It was a date and everything but name, and it was like the woman was too intimidated to use the date word. One of them even became my girlfriend for a while even though we never officially dated. Today, I'd just say let's go hang out instead of let's go on a date and they go with it. I'd do the exact same thing as a date and it ends up with the same result.

I'm a little bummed about this SF Bay Area fact since it's more exciting in my mind to go on a date than to hang out. I'm doing a 180 on you and I claim that it is a woman in this SF Bay Area facts, since it's more exciting in my mind to go on a date than to hang out. I'm doing a 180 on you, and I claim that it is women in the SF Bay Area who don't want to formally date. They just want to hang out. It's like they're afraid of it or something. Andrew, PS, I'm writing this at work, go me.

Hey Andrew, okay, that's a good perspective that it's the woman's fault. What do you think? You know, I've heard that as well. I have some guy friends who say that they've sort of become, became sort of castrated by the women in the Bay Area because we're so such feminists and we don't want to be like lurked at and we don't want a man to be like, lasciviously checking us out at the bar. And I think a lot of women in the Bay Area also are, they've become like in the male, um,

persona of being players. Really? Did you think that's generational, or do you think it's Bay Area? Maybe generational. Right, the women are more players. What does that mean to you? A woman is a player.

Means that she doesn't want to be locked down and she just wants to date multiple people. What's that? Am I a player? I thought it was an earthquake. Yeah. Am I a player? I guess I would be a player then. I mean, I don't know. But you find that you've wanted to commit with women and they just wanted to play around.

Yeah, they just want to hang out. Okay. They just want to hang out. So he's saying that's what he's saying. So my guy friend said that I definitely know some women players that are like that. They just me too. Yeah. So I don't know if it's the men or the women, but I just know that dating here is not very popular. No, and I actually, it was just posted the other day, the new top 10 places to date. Oh, if you're a single woman. And San Francisco was not one. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of. They said it was like somewhere in like Texas where there's

11 guys to every female or something like that. Really? I love Austin. Yeah, I think it was Austin. Yeah, Austin's an awesome town. I love Austin. It's great town. We haven't even listened to Austin. I'm going to South Bay. Is that where? Southwest. I can go. Yeah. It's great festival. I want to go to. When is it April? March. Can I go with you? You never take me anywhere. No, I don't take you anywhere. I'm the most fun person to hang out with. No, you're not. You suck to be around. That's mean. No, I love you to death, but to go hang out with you is not fun.

You've never hung out with me. No, we kinda. One time we went to a movie and I talked the whole time, okay? But we've never hung out and gotten drunk. I know, but you, I don't wanna do that because you are an abandoner. You abandoned people. Just because I abandoned me all the time. I've never abandoned you just because I'm-

If there's so many else you just started talking like 5,000 minutes. So not so. Minus if we were out together. Miles and Minut. I would just I would hook my arm around your little arm. No, you would just be together. No, you would.

There'd be some weird art person that would show up and you would talk to them the entire night. About art? About art. Just because I go to art show doesn't mean talk to them the entire night about art about art just Because I go to art shows doesn't mean that I'm going to talk about art. Yeah, you're funny fine. We're never going out So so sad. He's the What I'm saying I just don't that's not how I roll. I don't leave The people I go that I come with I hang out with them the entire time I the people I go that I come with. I hang out with them the entire time.

I don't like. Okay, one more question for you. If you and I have never gone outside of this building, except for two movie ones, when I did sit next to you the whole time, except for when I got up and talked to into the bathroom, how do you know that you and I would be at a social event and I would abandon you? I feel. That makes me feel really bad. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.

I'm so offended. That's the vibe that I get. Okay, well you're wrong. Okay. And B, we should try it out some time. All right. Whatever, no pressure. I'm not gonna force you to go out with me and have a drink.

But I'm fine. Okay. We did once years ago go to the Christmas party. Which one? We working at the radio station together. Oh, yeah, and I think you tried to kiss me that night. I didn't try to kiss you I think you did I remember no, I didn't try to kiss you because I was trying to hug you out with somebody else. Oh Okay, whatever. Hey Emily and menace another happy listener from Australia I listened through my iPod and a few of your episodes now including your last one

You've advised guys to go and approach every how woman they see until they just get so numb to being rejected That they don't mind and keep playing the numbers game till they find someone I think this is far from ideal and there's a couple reasons why the first is testosterone men's testosterone levels plummet after suffering a defeat The men you're having trouble getting women already have low testosterone and what you're telling them to do will grind What little they have into dust. Next time you're at a sporting event. Notice how the men that came second best always have that fake limp to blame on why they didn't win. The men who came in second best okay. Well who wants to have that loser limp off the time? A much better way to pay attention to what women notice you, which women notice you. Let's face it, if a woman sees what she likes,

she's going to go look at it, and if you notice her giving you the eye, then go ahead. I'll admit it's hard for guys to learn to tell if a girl likes them, but it's got to be better than getting rejected by 100 women just to find out the one that you could have spotted in the first place. Love the show, keep the good work, fill. I was saying that, you know, I wasn't telling men to go on grind all their testosterone in the ground. I'm saying that oftentimes men, they see someone that they find attractive or they have a connection and they don't ask for the number they walk away. They're like, oh, you should have got a number.

And I'm saying, don't even think twice about it. If the thought crosses your mind to ask someone out, just do it. Be a man, step up, ask her out, ask her out, say, hey, we're sharing out some time. What's your number? And then if she says, no, you're not going to die. Yeah, you're not going to die. And your testosterone is not going to plummet from that. Unless your your testosterone is already plummeting, like you said, I don't think that there is a correlation being to testosterone and being rejected. In fact, I think that it's what I my point was that it's

a barrier that you no longer have this fear of rejection. That eventually maybe at first it'll be depleted to your testosterone. Yeah. Maybe if there's any truth in that, but I think eventually it builds up your, your muscles of date, your dating muscles and you're asking out girl muscles. I know. I do. I used to be the biggest pussy ever.

I did not, I did not even ask out a girl or even kiss a girl tells 18. Really? Yes. Right. And because I was so afraid, I was so shy. And then I got over that. And then I got with maybe more women than I should have. You know? What happened? What changed for you? It just became like all right because finally like when I got with that girl Yeah, it just came into my mind like why have I been wasting my time like this entire time? What were you doing like playing Dungeons and Dragons? No, I was just I was just afraid there was girls that were even into me that like put it out there like Hey, I want to go out with

you and I just didn't do it. Yeah well that's good advice so you did it and you learned and now you never stopped. Yeah it's not it's not hard it's not that hard and I gotta say I told the story a few weeks ago my friend that lots of men are tracked or but they don't ask out and this one guy just went up to her and was like I want to ask you out and she instantly liked him better because he asked her like at first she wasn't sure but his confidence in the way he just said I'd like to take you out what your number was hot for her and she said yes and we're not with them turns out that wasn't a major love.

But yeah, he didn't suck but she she went out with them she went out with him she furthered out the reasons why she wasn't into him now it's been a month since I told that story and it's over but it was attractive him for the other reasons why she wasn't into him now. It's been a month since I told that story and it's over, but it was attractive. Like all the other guys that were flirting with her all weekend, she was on this camping trip, this organized camping trip. And all the guys that were flirting her all weekend fell by the wayside because this one guy stepped up and said, what's your number? I'm taking you out.

Was it one of those singles camping trip things? I've been here a lot lately. Yeah, I think it was a single. No, let's go. It was a group of just a group of people. Whitewater rafting together. A high, it's my biggest nightmare. I do not want a lot lately. Yeah, I think it was a single thing. No, I mean, I think it was a group of just a group of quite-water rafting together. It's my biggest nightmare. I do not want to do that.

But you know what I think I should do? What? Date online. I've never done it. I think that just for experimental purposes, I probably won't do it anytime soon, because I don't have time. But I do think that dating online is,

do you know that I'd say three out of five people that I ask who are dating someone? They're like, oh, I've met someone, they met online. Everyone meets online, like through match or through something like that. Yeah, not just like Facebook or they meet, they are dating online and I have so many friends doing it and I just feel like, I don't know.

I think Facebook is dating online. No, it's a good way to hook up with your college boyfriend or something. Yeah. No, maybe people do data online. I don't know. Okay, that's good. It's all for mail right now. Let's move into some sex tips. All right. What's your guy? What's your guy? Maybe I got some tips. Shock about orgasms. Really? Yes, I think you're very biased. I think that orgasms, you can never have... What about the male orgasm? Easy, hand job. Easiest thing I've ever done is give a man an orgasm. Okay. Do you ever forget it? Okay. Oh, tell me. I was going to say that there are men who are like, wow, I've never been able to have an orgasm that way. Like if I perform a role-sac story,

if I get my hand down, like that never happens. And it happens with me. I'm not making that up. When are you coming out with your book? My book comes out in the few months. Why? Did the government should read it? Yeah.

If you- You know, my essence is hard to put into a book. No, it isn't the book, you're right. It's gonna come out in a few months. Probably like in the fall. Well, what month is it? I joined San Francisco. The seasons are such that they're all the same. The weather seems the same that I don't even know what see. What month is it right now? Uh, it is September. September. Yeah. Okay. Today's my anniversary. What? Of moving to San Francisco. Are you serious? Yeah. Welcome. Thank you. So this is the date that I moved here and it's been a beautiful thing.

I asked my dad's birthday. Oh, okay. So female orgasm 101 class is in session. If women are flummoxed by their orgasms, you're thinking, what hope do you have? I'm talking to guys here. Lots. It turns out sure the female orgasm is fickle, but if you follow a few lessons about the female orgasm, you'll have the knowledge you need to start studying and finally seeing it in the wild, so sit down, listen up, and whip out your pencil classes in session. Number one, take her off the clock. Just as you're concerned about lasting longer, many women are so self-conscious about taking too long, they end up faking the orgasm or deciding to go without. The solution, stop obsessing over orgasms, yours, and hers.

A recent brain imaging study by Swedish researchers so that relaxation is a single most important factor in bringing women to orgasm. This is so true. This is so true. Listen to this part. So tell her that she has all night. The better you convey, not just tolerance for lengthy build-up, but also appreciation of her sexual pleasure orgasm or not, the easier it will be for her to unwind and explode.

Study show takes 15 to 40 minutes for the average woman to reach orgasm. You go in somewhere? Okay, this is true because I have to say in the past, which I don't do anymore, but when I have faked orgasms, it's been like, oh my god, there's pressure, he's going to feel bad that I didn't have an orgasm and it's taken so long and it's taken too long and then I get in my head. And so many sexual issues go back to anxiety, go back to stress, go back to us being in our heads, meaning that we're not relaxed. And if relaxation is a single most factor to bring them an orgasm,

the guy's going to make it feel comfortable, it's okay if it takes all night. Yeah, because I can go all night, honey. That's right, baby. You can. I can. I mean, that's what I heard. You've told me, okay, turn around with your talent. The best sex starts long before the clothes come off. Talent. More than rugged good looks are chiseled midsection as a powerful affidiz yak, according to research by colleagues at the Kinsey Institute.

Less surprisingly poor hygiene and a messy home were among women's biggest turnoffs. So nail paradise city during karaoke your maker die laughing at yourself, deprecating display of atrocious, dartmanship. Yes, humor is talent too. I agree, I love a funny guy. I love, like, I think it's hot, a successful man, and it's not about money.

A man who like is passionate about something, about he does, he loves to cook, just that there's some skill or some, he's hilarious, is to me, the biggest turn on. I work on comedy a lot. I think that's how I win over a lot of girls. You're funny. I just not around you.

Yes, you are. No. Okay. Next, when she's naked, speak up. Women who worry about, throw your clothes back on. I don't like vagina. Women, that's what you say. No, speak off exactly. Men just like, get your hand off my penis. Women who worry about the way say? No. No, speak off. Exactly.

Men just like, get your hand off my penis. Women who worry about the way they look down there are less likely to orgasm easily during sex, according to research. And a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research suggests that women who feel embarrassed are ashamed about their bodies of less sexual experiences and are less sexually assertive. Clearly, we've talked about this, You have everything to gain with flattery. If you love the way she looks, make it and you do, right? Share the news.

I like it. Yeah. Tell her she's hot. 10 times. We've talked about this with you. Oh my God. You love it. You love the ego build.

I'm like, I'm sorry. Did you say something? Did you say it was hot? Okay. Yeah. Could you tell me that again? Yeah. Love it. Okay, tender, be tender up top.

During fair foreplay, gently brush the tops, bottoms, and sides of a breast. These areas are actually more sensitive than an honorado's area, oil, and nipple. Gradually moving towards her nipples, paying attention to how she responds. As things heat up, the nipples become flush with blood and the sensory receptors become prime for direct stimulation.

You'll kickstart the blood flow in lubrication down below, starting her slow build up. So true, men skip from the breath. This is my biggest pet peeve when you know this, when they go right to the vagina. Touch my breasts for like at least a second. Isn't this like how we learned it in school that you're supposed to like remember first, base, second, base, third base? How long do we have to make out for before I can touch it for giant? A long time. We need to make out for-

Yeah, but I need a chart. I need to know, I need to put my stopwatch. 10, 15 minutes? 10, 15? That's fine. You can touch my boobs while we're doing that. Yeah. And then, but don't go right.

This, I had a guy went through a full run. I was just telling you this or this show this. I can't remember if I told you this or whoever, but I was full run with a guy. And he didn't even take my shirt off, touch my breasts, I was going for my pants, undo my pants. And it's like, isn't there some kind of procedural thing

that we learn first, base, second, base, third base? Yeah. Which part of that don't people understand? I don't want to get older, everyone just go straight for the fagine. I know, but can we just slow down? I'm a disaster. I didn't want to those.

OK, change your angle. Play Ponce to Leon and explore various types of penetration to figure out he's this explorer, right? Your favorite position to be again. And explore various types of penetration to figure out what turns around. Your first spot, your first upper G spot, low-clated about once, two inches up the front Oliver Gina, the spongy region swells during a rousal.

Try massaging the area slowly with your fingers. A lot of women find it mind-blowing. Now her thing just move on. So your favorite position to start off with? To start off with. Okay, my favorite position to start off with? To start off with? Okay, my favorite position to start off with. Because you know, you don't like it for a giant touch to like, before 10 minutes.

No, I like my favorite position is for them to touch it first with their fingers is fine. Yes. I appreciate that. I think people don't use their fingers and not men don't use their fingers a lot. Some women don't like it, but some women really like it. Yeah, but okay, so we've gone through all that,

but then to touch it with their penis. Eventually, but not the first time, third date, fourth date. Oh my God. I'm trying to become better about stuff. How much do I have to spend on the first three days? It's not about money. Well though, it's nice if you take me to dinner and bring your own wine and take me to another show.

Oh God. I told that story to a bunch of your own wine and take me to an other show. Oh God. I told that story to a bunch of people. Oh, great. You talked to me. Just a recap. Emily went on a date to a nice restaurant and the guy that she went with brought his own bottle of wine. And my argument was, if you're going to a nice restaurant, you should, the nice restaurant should have their

assortment already of nice wines. He's a wine consoor. He's a wine consoor. The thing I've ever heard to go buy wine. Okay, you get it, honest. Bring it home and then take it to another place. It's a sophisticated thing to do. He has a wine seller.

He loves knows what wine he likes with certain foods. Yeah, drinking after goddamn house. That's why you keep it there. Oh my God. And do you know what? What honey? Okay. So I told everybody and everybody. I told everybody.

Yeah. And everybody agreed with me, except there was one person that said, because she worked at a restaurant. I thought, yeah, people do that all the time. Exactly. They live in the Bay Area, wine, country. Dores. How many people do you tell me to do that? But then she said, then she said, yeah, people do it all the time, but she kind of said

it was ridiculous. Did you attribute it to me? Did you attribute it to the story? Yeah. We talk about it here. Why can't I say it to you? I don't like you talking about me. We talk about it on the show.

I know. It's fine. Anything we talk about on the show is free game. I think to talk about with other people. Anything off the show that you're talking about, I don't share that with anybody. I know. Okay.

Thomas, so when we go out and I tell you secret stories, you won't tell us the show. I tell you all my secret stories. I know, we love each other. Okay, so that's what I got for sex tips. And that's what I got for the show today. Oh, yeah. Time went by fast. Okay, thanks everyone for listening. Thanks to our sponsor, Adam and

Eve. Remember you can go to Adam Eve.com and use, use Emily as the coupon code. It check out and get special gifts. And thanks everyone for listening. Femme and Facebook, Twitter, my fan page is sex with Emily. And we're doing more shows. So be sure to subscribe to our RSS feed. So you never have to miss them again. Thanks, Menus, and thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexwithemily.com. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex With Emily. I need to tell you about one of the great companies

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