Sex With Emily - SWE: Overcoming Jealousy

Episode Date: June 6, 2013

Emily shares four steps for overcoming jealousy. You can get past jealousy in most situations if you can get over your insecurities. Also, find out why she's really moaning during sex, what to say in your first online dating message, how to deal with body image issues, and if there’s a platonic dating site for those who don’t want to get down. If you're interested in overcoming jealousy and want to change your love life, check out my sponsors: Crazy Girl, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Crazy Girl. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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And usually we're pretty damn good. And every Friday you can tune in for free. And that's what I gotta say. We don't do shows on Wednesday. So if you were looking for Thursday, we're here. Today's topic is how to overcome jealousy. I know you've probably

been jealous before in a relationship or maybe you're with a jealous partner. We're going to get into all of that of how to deal with it because people get jealous they do. Can ruin your relationship. And yeah, that's what we're doing. Hi, Menace. What's up? How you doing? I'm great. How are you? I'm awesome. Oh, I was actually this morning that you brought up just jealousy because in the intro we play some clips from entourage and I've been watching the new season. Oh, and there's a whole thing where Ari Gold who is the he's the publicist slash manager He's the agent. Yeah In this season he's having trouble with his wife like the separation. He

Well, she's gone on and she's dating Bobby Flai, the famous chef. Right. And then, so he gets pissed off, he starts dating somebody else, but then she doesn't believe that he is, he's with somebody else. He's like, what, I can't get other,

I can't get with other people. And then, so what he does is take the chick to Bobby Flai's restaurant. Oh my God. Like, he's there. And then they have he does is take the chick right to Bobby Flay's restaurant. Oh my god. It's there No way like this whole discussion. The chick finds out that it's Bobby Flay that's dating his ex. Oh, it blows up Oh my god. That's great. I've seen one episode of this season so far. Yeah, and it sucks because they're only gonna have eight eight shows this year Really is the last episode The thing is gonna be a movie after that. Say, missed the last season when he became a drug addict.

Many cases, missed that whole thing. But yeah, jealousy happens all the time to all of us, to a lot of us. People are snooping. And there's more reasons are who will come jealous now, right? I mean, every day there's a reason to become jealous if you log onto your person, your dating, or your access Facebook page, and they became friends with some hot chick. Yeah. There was a funny conversation actually. I don't know what even sparked it, but some people

started tweeting me like listeners of my other shows and then friends of mine saying that one of my ex-girlfriends, current boyfriend saying like he's a better man than me and blah blah and all the stuff. I never even think about this ex girlfriend. This guy doesn't even cross my mind ever. So he's threatened by you. Well, I don't know. I don't know because I can't see what. Most jealousy comes from insecurities.

I can't see what he's saying. Right. But anyways, I just like blew it off. I go, that's cool. I don't care. That's what I kept on responding with. I go, I don't care whatever I go I never think about I never think about my ex is I only think about the girls that I never took a chance on

And was just true right and Also, something came up where she was talking about There was a photograph where her current boyfriend is in and I'm also in it and she's in it too and I don't know why this is brought up. So I also responded with, I go I don't care about whatever he's saying I go but on the side note I go I have many photographs of girls that I hooked up with that she's taking pictures with. So I want to be praying that around. I think my count is a little bit higher. Who are these people? No, like I was just,

I was just like, Is it something that's hitting your ax who's like threatened by you? Cause you're super cool. I guess, I don't know. I don't even know of the same. I was just wondering if it was just other people that were just building out trying to start out.

But I just, I thought it was funny because I, they were trying to rob me up and I just didn't care right good But I thought I would share the story anyways That's a good story to share. I mean I've gotten caught up in jealous things Before typically a lot. Yeah, I don't get jealous But I've dated people who get jealous because I'm really flirty. So that's why you think I am too you it's obvious Oh, man, of course is somebody's dating you. I am too you it's obvious of course, oh man of course Is somebody's dating you they're gonna get pissed off when yeah, they get jealous and I'm just a flirt

I can't that's like I've been this way. Hey, just I can't help it But really like I I'm naturally in my bones a flirt. I don't even know. I'm doing it What's that about we can analyze me if you want but we don't have to I'm not a I'm not a jealous person at all. Like I, I don't care. Right. And I also am not going to waste my time worrying and trying to prevent somebody from cheating on me. If you're cheating on me, they're cheating on me, whatever they cheat on me, I find out that they're done. But there's only one thing that annoys me. And I've brought this up on the show, which I hate when, and it doesn't matter for it's a girl or a guy, a waitress or waiter, I just don't like when I'm at dinner or at a

meal and you're overly talkative. To the waiter or the waitress. I don't want you to be addicted to the waitress or waiter. Right. I want you to respect them. Well, do you think it's because they don't want to talk to you anymore? Why do you think they're talking to you? They're talking to you.

They're talking to you. They're just like, I just feel feel like a tool, a jackoff, when I'm just saying they're like saying nothing to us. Well, what do you mean they're talking to the waiter? Are they like saying could you please repeat the daily stuff? No, they just like get into this whole conversation and they're like, oh, hey. Do they do that with everyone though? Like the checkout person at the store?

I mean, do they talk? No, there would just be like, situation where they just talk to the waiters. You just don't like women who talk? No, I like just be like Just talk to waiters You just don't like women who talk No, I like women who talk You every day bringing a point where women shouldn't talk Do you think we should vote? No, no, no, I don't like women that nag

Should we vote? Nagged? Should we drive cars? Go ahead, drive cars You can vote just as long as you vote You know who I was doing nagging? I mean, other things you say I just think, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. I'm just me, man, I'm just being me. Keep it real. I keep it real.

Yeah, so what's up with you and your life? I've got a million birthday parties to speak, and they've all been really fun. I think you called me the other night about something, and I was about to have having girls over when you were heading out to some party. Dreamers who won. Dickinson Wine, my friend owns this really cool art space,

loungey club called Project One in San Francisco. And it was her birthday and a bunch of us went there. And it was like, really good crowd. People hadn't seen it in a while and that was fun. And then I have two birthday parties this weekend, one in St. St. Beach, which is this great beach north of here. You've been to St. St. Beach, right? No.

Never been to St. St. Beach. No. Do you like beaches? I don't go to beaches here because they're too cold. I know, but this beach is cool. You should come, you won't come. But whatever, then I have another party in Sonoma with a friend and another friend's birthday party

And yeah, I've just been like hanging with friends working hanging with a dog Free and dog park people man. I've made all these friends But every day there's like a new dog park person that comes in there like my dog is super super cool Every dog yeah, and is very friendly and she's a puppy and she plays with everyone, but she's like, your dog's still my dog's ball. Like people get angry. Like I was like, there's some reality TV show about like the dog park drama because people

are like so obsessed with their dogs. I'm not obsessed with my dog yet. And they fight in the yell and they're like, this woman was like literally yelling. And she's like, your dog's still my dog's ball. And I was like, I'm leaving this place. You people are meaning angry. I hated that. I hated the whole thing.

There reminds me of a clip of a woman at a dog park. I have to, I have to find it. I'll be able to play for you guys. My friend has this really funny porn site, porn site website, 303rd called Hot Chicks Picking Up Dog Shit. Yeah. It's really funny and it's just

Hot Chicks Picking Up Dog Shit. It's hilarious. So yeah, I go there with my five in Cheels and pick up dog shit. Nice. Yeah, it's shit. It's hilarious. So yeah, I go there with my five-inch heels and pick up dog shit. Nice. Yeah, it's fun. It's good times. So yeah, and then, I don't know.

I've got some sex in the news here. I can read unless you've anything else that you're gonna share with me that's gonna change my life right now. It will, it just, do you know what sucks? What sucks, dude? Is that on the keyboard here, the computer, the freaking V, the computer.

Hey, when they did the numbers break on, the letters break on keyboards. Like I can't press V, which, you know, we use the word vagina a lot. I know, what the hell? What are you doing this weekend? Even though it's the only Thursday, but it feels like Friday.

Tomorrow's free Friday. You better bring it tomorrow for the show. Yeah, I, um, well, luckily I'm not leaving. I was gonna leave for Los Angeles tomorrow, but I'm not gonna do that. That's what it was. Yeah, don't do that. I'm more so, I'm just hanging out.

Um, yeah, I don't, I don't really have any plans this weekend or case I'm going to Los Angeles the weekend after for the VMAs. Cool. What are you gonna wear? Can't see suit or something. I guess. I don't know. No, I don't have any fancy clothes. Cool. What are you going to wear? Can I have some suit or something? I guess. I don't know.

I don't have any fancy clothes. I'll tell you you're shopping. Not that you don't do a good job yourself. No. And you love shopping. Terrible. I know. Okay.

Sex and news. Go ahead. I love this first one because it really makes me think. I think it's true. Do women really make sex noises to help men reach orgasms. Study finds women's sex moments are voluntary not of reflex or consequence of orgasm. Expert Dr. John Grohal recently wrote about a study published in the archive of sexual behavior which found that women's sex noises are not generally a reflex or consequence of orgasm or rather an effort to help the man reach the finish line. The researchers found that a woman's vocalizations

most often occurred around the man's orgasm just before her simultaneously with ejaculation. So it's true when you make noises you know that a man's going to ejaculate. It's kind of true as a woman. You kind of know that, but it's funny that it's someone's like doing a study on this. Did you know that? That women's noises get a little bit quickened when you're about to orgasm? Did they quicken? Did they get louder? Yeah, they were more vocal. Everyone knows that.

But they actually did a study to prove it. It's a disassociated. Or they get this money from stuff that I need to think. Can we spend it on cancer research or something? That dude, he was here, Billy Sunday, Mars the other day on the show two days ago, if you guys want to check that out. He was saying that if you really walk

rock a woman's world sexually and give her these intense orgasms, she's not going to make a peep. So all the sounds that they're making, I mean, are just for the men's pleasures, what they're saying. That's not true though. There's times that I make noises that are real. I'm not just like faking hands, I'm going to get it over with. So it says, yeah, that it clearly

demonstrates a disassociation of the timing of a woman experience, so whatever. So she's making noises to get you, because when she's done and you're not done yet, we're done. So we're making noises. I just want you to fall asleep after. I get a bad memory.

That's where I want you to shut up. Is that part? I know you do. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, let's talk about that. Let's talk about what just happened right now. Was I vocalizing in an inappropriate time? So what are we? What are we? Where are we at? And then I go, oh, we're two people that have said sex. That's what we are. Can we talk? I used to have a joke with one of my exes. I'd be like, can we talk? Because it's such a cliche that girls women say to men.

And I was like, we really need to talk about us. But I've never said that to a guy ever. Candy Burris is releasing a sex toy line. Who's the Candy Burris? Exactly. She's from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I thought you knew television. Candy. Oh, OK. She's branched out Housewives of Atlanta. I thought you knew television. Candy, oh, okay.

She's branched out from our online talk show and housewives of Atlanta and started making her own sex to her line. We won't know much about the products in the line until launch party, which is happening sometime in the near future, but lots of glitter and animal prints. She was the one that I was her and Dr. Drew said,

or maybe I'm quoting the wrong person, but was bashing her because she was saying that you should put sugar in the vagina. Never put sugar in the vagina. Never put sugar in the vagina. You can use whipped cream, you can use chocolate, you can do all that stuff, but leave it on your breasts or leave it on your stomach, but do not get it inside the vagina. It's a very bad bacterial things build up. Don't do that. People should all of this stuff inside the vagina. It's a very bad bacterial. Things build up. Don't do that.

People should all of this stuff all the time. It's bad. Okay, before you go on to the next thing, I found that clip that I want to share with you. And it's a woman at a dog park, okay? Okay, can you like do the volumes? That we do? Yeah, that's so smart. I love how smart you are with the technologically.

All right, so this thing is about a woman, probably like yourself, that's her dog just run rampant around the dog part in their noise other people So even after 10 years of teaching I never know what's gonna happen. No hold on. Oh my god He's gonna do that I've been in the middle of teaching and I look over my shoulder and there's this strange woman's dog that's attacking a man's leg. I want you to come here for a second. No, no, no, no, no, you come here for a second. This way it gets good. Well, I was taking every one of them.

This is like my dad parked his early personalities. He's like a bug. People are like angry. I'm going to have the dog take him. All he was doing was walking to the park. That's what's rough. I've had some things happen with this woman's dog before where I've been out at the park, training my own dogs.

And that dog has gotten away from her and has come up after my dogs and myself. And I've had to run. And I just throw myself in my dogs and my car. What if it was one of these? What if it was a child? Oh, my god. What if it was a child? I can't find it. What if it was a child? Oh my god. What if it was a child?

I can't see. What if it was a child? Like one of these kids? You tell me not to tell me not to get lost. I tell everybody. I'm the dumbest. I thought you were the bestie ever. Oh my god.

You're giving me girl out on the right. Yeah. I'm giving you a ride. So let me break down real quick, what's happening? Yeah, you have to. And then it's going to get awesome right now. OK, so what happened was there's a dog park, and there's a bunch of people at the dog park.

And this woman's dog gets loose. And the dog bites. So there was this man that was walking by the park and the dog ran up and bit the man. So now the man is upset. and then there's a bunch of children out there and then so he starts pointing out the children and he goes, what about if it was one of these? What about if it was one of these?

And now this woman is about to go ballistic and share pretty funny story, okay? So here we go. He's no my father, he's a baby, he's no my son, he's a baby, he's no my son. He's no my son, he's no my son. The dog has some serious aggression problems. And just because a dog is small doesn't mean that it can't hurt. For many days I didn't bring him here because I suffer when he bites me. He bites me and my vagina.

When I'm walking and he sees all the dogs, he's right away. He jumps my vagina because he gets so crazy. He bites my vagina. Oh my god. He bites every year and he bites the Labrador and his penis. I don't want him to bite my adorable and the penis. The Labrador is beautiful. What do you want? One person I'm going to show you.

It would be Van Aizel APD. Van A Isle APD. You get the point though. This moment is crazy. You should get rid of that dog. You should go on YouTube if you want to watch the whole thing. It's hilarious where she just goes on and on how the dog bites her in the vagina and bites other dogs in the penis. That's hilarious.

Is that what your dog is doing? No, my dog is awesome. My dog is like, the people tell me that they're like, when's Daisy coming back? When's Daisy coming back? Cause Daisy exosse all the other dogs, cause she has more energy than any dog. It's cool, so when are you gonna give Daisy to

one of those people? When we're gonna give her up? Yeah. I've got a few more weeks to decide. Thanks for asking. I don't wanna give her up. I would feel like honestly, the dog is such a, it's such's such a personal thing like I feel it would feel like a failure. So just to prove everybody wrong. No, I'm not that stupid either. I just feel like I should be able to as a grown woman have a dog.

I like dogs and figure it out, but I'm also insanely busy and have a lot going on that it might not be the best time. Yes. Rice fun. This is perfectly, good way to get out of it. But it's like, she's a lover. She's a little face. Okay. A dating site for lovers who can't have

or don't want sex. Imagine that, sex, a with that but not not about getting laid. Love relationships in romance satisfies the need of many of us that is as strong if not stronger than our sex drive. Unfortunately when a person is unable to have sex for whatever reason, this often disqualifies them from enjoying the romance and companionship that makes up 99% of a healthy relationship. To address this problem, to dateforlove.com was launched by a woman with the intention of connecting singles who are looking for love without sex.

It enables people who can't engage in intercourse or experienced love and intimacy and all that. You can upload photos, blah, blah, blah. So for whatever reason, if you don't want sex or you don't want it to be all about sex, to date for love. That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. So you don't want it to be all about sex to date for love It sounds For every friggin thing and every friggin person. I was just talking on the phone. I mean like really with my buddy

Yeah, I share the story where he's been my one of my long time friends right and then he started last time He hung out. He shared with me. He's like, yeah, I started dating chick soft craigslist And then he's had a couple bad experiences. Of course, as you would, if you, you know, hook it up, you'll be on Craigslist. People don't say to hook up on Craigslist anymore that you still. But now he's on a dating website. I forgot which one he told me, but he said, who were trying to break it down, he already has a date with somebody. Okay.

So he was asking me about places in the city, what he should do and Should we meet up or should I pick her up and go well? Did you already go on a date with her once before? He's like, yes, I go well, but you got to go pick her up Even though it's like really all the way right I go go pick her up and go out on your day But then he was telling me that whatever the dating website is it recommends a new person every day. Oh with your You know criteria. This is why no one's committing. Yeah. And what happened was we're trying to break down

and trying to figure out why, but he keeps on getting connected with little people. Oh. And he doesn't know like nothing that he does have anything against little people, but he's just trying to. Just for little? He is not little. He is a very large man

Okay, he's yeah, he's he's six foot way tall and okay, that's odd big on me and He's like a linebacker like he'll oh Why okay little people like real little people like like little people like for 10 9 no for no it's like for 8 4 7 and. It's like, for eight, four, seven. And then he's like, he's trying to figure out, where's the glitch in the system? There's not a glitch, but he's just, maybe he's thinking.

Maybe there, maybe I don't know how it works, but maybe their criteria, that's what they like, is like what his description is. So we're trying to figure out, you know, how is, yeah, there's some scientific study to be there like why is he so similar to what little people want what he wants. Yeah, when he is a very large person when he's like that is very interesting. Yeah, we got to

break that down. I know. And you get some detectives on that or something. We got to calm them up on the sky. Calm in the sky, man. That's interesting. I should we should all date online just for better content better improved new daily content for me. Yes. To go on dates. I know I've just never, I'm the only person I know hasn't done it because everyone else I know has done it. You've done it. It's all right.

Oh, through the social networks. Right, but not a day. I can ask out on Facebook a lot, but I don't know. Pay attention. I don't know what those people are. All right. Not that you're not my friend if we're on Facebook because we're friends. Okay, we've got some emails.

Okay, what do you got? Some topics on today's show include what to say on your first online dating message, which might be what your friends says something that I wonder what he says. What is the initial? Kagle exercises, menopause and sex and body image. And then later we're going to be talking about jealousy and how to overcome it because you really can. You can. You can. There's some people that are just insane. I know, but I've learned to overcome it.

I'm not, I'm not a typically jealous person, but when I find myself having jealous thoughts, and I'm going to get into this more, you really can, like, just change your thought patterns and to not going into that negative place. I'm going to keep on talking, but can you turn on the fan? It's kind of hard. Oh, yeah. And another thing is with me on the social networking, if I'm going to ask them, my conversations will be so short because I'm not a writer.

So it would just be like, oh yeah, oh cool, let's go hang out. So the hanging out part would happen super fast. Because I'm not going to sit there and write. But like on better and person. Talk to me. I'm so much better in person. Writing, not my that. I'm so much better in person writing not my thing. I know. Well, actually, we're having a, or the English language.

Or the English language, right. Now, you're better than you give yourself credit for. I'm terrible. Go ahead. No, we're actually having, I don't know when this show's gonna air, but we have an expert. He's an online dating expert.

His name's Evan Mark Katz. He's gonna be on the show this Friday, but we're doing it later in the day, and we're gonna play it in a few weeks. But because he can only come up and I'm at a certain time, but it's amazing what he does. He's a dating coach. And he profiles.

He helps people write their online dating profiles. So for example, someone can go to and be like, I've had this up on Maths.com for three months. I've gotten nothing. No hits, no interest, no one wants to date me. And then like, he'll come in and be like, did it, did it, did it change the whole thing? It's like marketing. And then he gets like this person like this person like a million or he helps them individually with dating Yeah, yeah, so he's gonna be interesting. That's good. You like them. Okay Word up Emily. I just recently signed up with okay cupid to give this online dating thing a try

That's so funny. We were just talking about this being that I am a newbie. I'm not up at all the rules and hidden rules My question is would it be cool to tell a girl she's cute in the first message? And is there any tips on what girls want to see in the first message? Thanks. Stand from Costa Mesa. He's a premium friends with benefits member. And if you're a friends with benefits member, you get your emails answered right away. We answered your questions.

PS, by the time you read this, I would have sent a message to this girl, call my eye. I'm really interested in just seeing if the message I sent was the right away. We answered your questions. PS, by Tommy Reedus, I would have sent a message to this girl, call my eye. I'm really interested in just seeing if the message I sent was the right one. So he wasn't way in for us to get back. He was right here. I would say, yeah, I would say. I never do, but I don't know.

As a woman, I think you could say that she's cute in the first message, but I would really focus like her interest and show that you really read her page And maybe you have like a similar interest or something that you can talk about because for example like I just post it on credit Let me just totally separate thing But it's like you want to know that the guy has read your profile and isn't just like hot chick Hi, you're hot. Let's go out because then the girl feels like the woman feels like I spent all this time I profiled you didn't even read it. You're just looking at my face. We just probably what most guys do anyway. Okay.

But try to pretend that that's not what you did. Yeah. You look deeper. Just look deeper. I'm in interest. Wow. I noticed that you like the Appalachians. That's how it must have been amazing. I was going to do that. Your boots look excellent in the shirt. And then your titties look hot. No, don't say that.

But I would say that I would focus more about that and ask her a question like try to find a question about something specific on her page, try to come up with something funny and you could say I found your profile track diverse only what I wouldn't leave with your hottie because she's hearing that your believe me. You're not the only guy who is sending her that message. That's why I say that. So we don't want to hear that right away. Because we already know that. I know I am. I never already know that. I know. And men never tell his girls that they're cute. No, don't do that.

Which I don't recommend either. Because you should tell her 10 times a day. Yeah, right. What else we can say? There was something else that I just texted my friend to see if we can call him. He might be busy. Oh, by these little people debacle.

No, not that. I want to see what kind of conversation he has when he's messaging with these people. That would be great not that. I want to see what kind of conversation he has when he's messaging with these people. That would be great. To get them interested to go out. Totally. I mean, and I think that's what this dating coach

focuses on is that there are right and wrong ways to do, oh, this is what I was gonna say. So for example, I was looking for new interns, right? So I posted in Craigslist and I said very specifically in the thing, I'm like, okay, please send me your resume, please send me this, that, some people just like, here's my resume. Like they don't even read the job profile,

they don't even read the job description. And I'm like, delete, like, you didn't even read it, you didn't send me what I asked for, you didn't send your resume, you didn't send a cover letter. And I deleted those people. I think that people do that when they're dating, too, when they're online, and they're like, this person didn't obviously read my profile, he just thinks I'm cute, delete. That's what I would do. Okay.

I just want to thank you for developing this app. things are cute, delete. That's what I would do. Okay. I just wanna thank you for developing this app. She's talking about my Kegel campaign. My boyfriend and I both use it for Kegels regularly, and I must say that our sex life has never been better. I did not write this, this is true. The feeling of a challenge and different levels have helped me to be successful in doing Kegels

with this app. Will there ever be any additional levels in the future? I think a few more levels will be great. Thanks again, Alicia. Alicia, thank you so much. That's awesome. We've done up the level. Yeah, we've all be updated a few times, and we're going to do another update.

And I forward this to my engineers, so hopefully we can do that. But just a few, don't know this. I have an app called kegelcamp that you can download from the I-fo iTunes store and It Kaggle is Kaggle is really the most important sector size that you are not doing and that you need to be doing and And Alicia just said it improve their sex life. They're doing it together. How cute you and your boyfriend can do the Kaggle together? Do you have a friend that we can call about? About online dating. Don't you have friends that do that? Tone we can call about online dating. Don't you have friends that do that? It's fun. Text them, say we're going to call them.

Because I want to see a girl. Because then we can see what does a guy say that gets you to go out with them. Who can I text right now? Let's take a line. Hold on. Let's take anybody. OK, I know.

I know. I know. Is that one? Is that one? Call the right mistake. You're filthy mouth friends? Yes, it's my filthy mouth friend. I just call the right mistake. Oh, he said sure. OK, I'm going I know, I know. It's not one of the- It's not one of the- Is it not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the-

It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the-

It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the-

It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- It's not one of the- Well, I'm just kidding. Okay, so this is hilarious. Okay. Dear Emily, are we going to start another question? Dear Emily, my wife and I have been together almost 25 years. We love each other to death. She is going through menopause, and that has meant that sex may only happen

once or twice a year. I have a very hard time in my mind dealing with it, and she has had a very hard time talking about it. What can we do to allow us to continue the much needed special moments together? Love your show. Menace is a slut. Yeah, right.

Seriously, it does. Look, Mark from Ontario Canada. How's Mark from Ontario Canada? You think she's a slut? How? I don't know, maybe it's an older email. He used to be a slut. Hello. What, uh, can you hear me? What's going on, maybe it's an older email. It used to be a slut. Hello.

What up? Can you hear me? What's going on? What's going on here? So coincidentally, here on the Sex with Emily show, we started talking about online dating. And you and I just had a conversation yesterday about online dating. And the part of online dating that we want to know is what do you even say to a girl that you want to talk to? Like what's the first initial email? What do you say?

It matters how, you know, like you can check out Craigslist or we're talking about, you know, like a piece of stuff like that. If I'm doing off of Craigslist, I'll probably base it on what they posted on cranks. So if you kind of go, oh, I have this similar interest or, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The same thing you can do, it's kind of like, oh, you're looking for a guy who has these qualities. Oh, you know, I have these type of qualities. Oh, you have these type of similarities. Oh, I do too. And you know, I asked you questions. You know, well, what do you do? Or, you know, you like alternative musical kind of bands,

do I can stuff like that? That's good. I got a buddy. So you don't say like nice rack or anything? I love your titties. You don't say like I like your tips. I mean, if you see a picture of the balance, it's good.

No, I don't know if I'm not a father. Glad you don't send a picture of your penis until our her nights are rack is that would be bad Do you ask her to rate her blow jobs on a scale of one to ten? No, you sound like a good guy. You do handle it well because we just had a guy asked like should I tell this girl She's hot. I'm like every guy's emailing her and telling her she's hot. You don't tell her she's hot pay attention to we want to Feel like we are heard as women when you read our profile you took the time. You're not just like hot chick. I want to go out. So you sound like a good guy. How is the online dating going for you?

I mean, I was told okay. I mean, I mean, a few people here and there go out to date. Don't you have a date? That's good. Tonight or this weekend? I have a Sunday this weekend. Sunday. Wow. We'll kind of go out. Okay. Tonight or this weekend? Last Sunday, this weekend. Sunday. Wow, what kind of guy? OK, so are you excited? Oh, yeah, most of the time. Did you plan the day? I was just going once before the chiro.

Did you make out with her on the first date? Sure. You did? You made out on the first date? Made out on the first date, yeah. Did you do other stuff on the first date? Did you touch your boobs? Did Uncle last far?

We were at the street. Good. You know, we kind of met. I did that on the street. I'm the same. I'm the same. You can't talk over them on the internet thing. It cuts it out.

There's no other way I can tell you. I have to tell you live on the show. Sorry. Now that's fine. I kind of assume, but you know, that's all good. No, no, no. Go ahead, you can ask me a question. No, I feel not, I feel quieted. I'm out of show, I feel shushed.

No, I'm just saying you have the way for me to go. Okay, so this girl, so what you found her on Craigslist? No, no, I'm not on my dating service. Okay, another online dating site. And what was it that about her profile that you liked? Was it her picture? I know you thought she was happy. Like, was there something, she said.

We're trying to give people advice about writing online, dating profiles. As there's certain things that a woman says that catches you, can you think of a phrase or something that was like, oh wow, she seems like a cool chick. Or conversely, the things that they say that you're like, whoa, run for your life.

She has 10 cats. And one of the things that we're in there, and you can be honest, is it the first thing, the kind of photo kind of catches you a little bit, right? Well, sure, that's like the initial catch. You know what I mean? Because it's kind of, you know, when you first search somebody online typically, it's going to be just a quick contact

information, like the photo, the location, and how old they are. So it's kind of, well, if the bat is coming your judge, if you're going to click on this profile to see this person further. So right off the bat, yeah, you have to at least see this person. If you know, this person kind of something I could be into, and then if yes, then click on the picture and kind of see the different, you know, text on the profile and everything.

Different signs that might be good. Just similar interest, you know, I'm a type of person, you know, I don't know any drama, or anything like that. So I kind of want something that's similar to me or at least interest that like, hey, me and my friends, we do these type of things. I want to go on days and do these type of things. Right. And this person has those type of things I'm into.

Right, got it. Anything that's kind of, that would scare me away or just, you know. Right, right, right, you just kind of run. Oh, there's Mark. And the size of this maybe, what's kind of like, you know, maybe it's what you're looking for. You know, but it's kind of like, oh, I just got out of relationship. I'm just kind of looking for one thing you like. You kind of know if you get into this, you might be in some, in the size of this,

or you might be that, you know, rebound type of person. Which, you know, if you're open to that to that that's fine but I'm kind of you know okay so I'm getting online that's good I'm thinking about doing it myself it's not my list of things to do I think that's good that you're doing it I love these shared stories thank you very much good luck can you call us back and let us know if you touch our boobs on Sunday. I don't like people. No pressure. You don't let us know. I just want you to have a good time. It's not about sex.

Yeah. No problem. Okay. I have some some warning signs. What? What the, uh, the online? What's the warning signs? Chicks that you do not want to talk to.

Okay. Here we go. Go. They're in an all starts with the rain image. And each egg that has a rain image of a scenery, sunset, or anything like that. And each egg that has pets in their main photograph. Okay. And each egg that only has one or two photographs.

Right. And they're all waste up. And they're all waste up. Or no. But if they only have one or two photographs Or it's most likely I would say 99.9% not them Because why do you only have two photographs of you? How many do they take a post? You can post thousands of photos there if you want to

Oh, it's not the jit and the the other one the lookout for is the group photos Mm-hmm when there's a large group photos and you and you look through it and it's all group photos. Right. What does that mean? She doesn't think she's the least attractive one out of this look for the least attractive one out of the group photo. Oh, menist. And that's the person's profile.

It's it's science. It's science. Scientific. Really? Okay. It's a scientific study. I don, okay. It's a scientific study I don't know what to check that out but like her being in Unetractive pictures of yourself. I mean of you in a group if you're trying to get someone's

Attention. Yeah, and then you know what I mean I hate the guys with a drink in a beer Oh, one of those like Cat I don't The cat. Yeah, I don't want to date. No, no pressure, no events. I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We love each other to death. She's going through menopause and sex only happens twice a year And he's got a really hard time dealing with it in his mind and she's got a hard time talking about it And what can they do and he loves to show and menaces a slut? I don't know why you think she's slut I don't know either The loss of estrogen following menopause can lead to changes in women sexual drive and functioning They may not be easily aroused and maybe may be less sensitive touching and stroking, which can lead to decreased interest in sex.

You may want to, okay, lower levels of estrogen cause the degrees in blood supply to the vagina, which can affect vaginal lubrication, causing it to become dry and uncomfortable for intercourse. So you can really try to take a warm bath, relax, and use lubricants. You can use a water-based lubricant like astroglyde, which you can purchase at Adam and Eve. You can get anything at Adam and Eve.com for 50% off, most items, plus three adult DVDs

in a free gift if you use coupon code MLA Checkout. I think Lube is great for a lot of sexual situations people are having because she probably is more dry. And if the sex drive isn't what it once was, you don't think you need counseling, you should just try to take some time to have intimacy with your partner and rebuild the intimacy. It doesn't mean that you have to have intercourse. Maybe there's ways you can take intercourse off the table and start connecting in other ways because I have a feeling that it's not just about the sex that you're not connecting but there might be other ways in your relationship that you're not quite connecting and that you might need to go back and repair whatever's happened.

Maybe you guys have got some issues with each other. You've been together a long time and there's ways to get in there with the issues or whatever issues you have and heal them first. What? I'm sorry. I always go to the alcohol, but maybe she needs to loosen up a little bit. Take the stick out of her ass. She's going through menopause, dude. It happens.

Yeah, maybe, you know, it's so menopause with, you know, some alcohol. It's a little bit in the life. I think you are maybe some, you know, you, you recommend some wacko drugs. Like, what is that? Lubricant? No, not lubricant. But that lubricant doesn't get you in the mindset. I know. That's why I wish I could just pop out of Niagara. That's why, you know, I'd be a morning dog all the time. All the time just banging.

No, you need something to help her get in the mindset. Exactly, maybe it's- You gotta get her in the mindset. I mean, that's the thing is that so many times women don't want sex, like yes, she's going through my iPads, she's greater challenges now because her sex drive literally has taken a nose dive, but for for women the brain is a larger sex organ

She does need to be warmed up. You do need to do things to set that intimacy to set that romantic mood Just because you come in and you have a boner does not mean that she's ready to go and it's kind of a bumper for you But she's gonna need more time warming up. You might need to romance her. You might need to plan a special weekend away There are ways to get it back. And on a side note, I got tweeted by Marilyn, who's a listener in Arizona right now. And she said that she totally agrees with me on the profile picks online, the cats, the scenery, the group photos. hilarious.

Yes. So I'm in tune. I know the scientific. You do know. So if I do date online, you'll help me shape my profile. Yes, I will. Okay. Emily, I'm glad to say I'm back from Baghdad, all one piece.

I'm getting caught up in the podcast because I've missed the last few. I'm writing tag on my sexual pet peeve. I can't tell you how much of a mood killer it is to have a woman after we're both naked and about to make love instantly become self-conscious. When we're both naked, is absolutely the wrong time to lose all of her confidence.

I don't care at one bit if she's 10 pounds away from her to ideal weight. I'm no personal trainer. I'm just trying to share an orgasm or two or three with her. If that's not enough to at least temporarily remove those insecurities, then it's a major buzzkill and I'm not as intense as I once was. What I'm saying, what I'm saying is she's got to see what's in front of her and what she's got as a man who wants to be with her, all parts of her, even the flawed parts. As always, keep the good work and remember, go Navy, Jamal. Hell yeah, Jamal. Pre Preach. Do need is so true. One of the biggest issues that women have sexually

across the board is with low self-esteem and insecurities about body and body image. And I think that if you're a woman and you're experiencing like issues sexually you're not connecting with men. A lot of it has to do with your body image issues. And there are ways to get past it. Maybe you need some therapy, read some good books on it. God knows just so many of them. But really just like start loving your body, start working out. If you don't feel good about your body, like make yourself go to the gym, like go once a week, like that will make you feel better. There are things to eat healthier. I know it's easier said than done. And you've heard this a million times. But truly, if it's wreaking havoc on your

sex life and you're having problems and you should start to take, because no matter how many times a guy tells you like you're so attractive and you're so hot and I don't care if you gain 10 pounds or whatever, no one's going to believe it until they deal with it on their own. Yeah, and then I also should say, hey, you see my dick right now? Is it not a wrecked? Does it not like what it's saying? Well women feel like., women feel like I know, I know, it's a bad time. It's a bad time. So when should she ask you for asks looks fat in the jeans, not when,

not when you guys are going to address during sex? Well, you should never ask that. Never ask that. I'm just kidding, but you know that joke. You're going to ask like fat in the jeans? Yes, they look totally fat. Fuck you. Okay.'t know. Okay, so yeah, insecurity is huge. I mean, I think we've done shows on that body image as just women, but that really is like the reason my women can't orgasm, the reason why men aren't enjoying sex sometimes the reason my women don't want to get on top of a man is because they feel like they look. They're over analyzing everything. I know, guys are just like, I'm psyched, there's some boobs bouncing up and down and talking to me.

Okay, I'm 45 in good health and some boobs bouncing up and down and down. Tell me. Okay, I am 45 in good health, and I have the problem of too much stamina. So much so that often after a vigorous weekend, my girlfriend needs a couple days off and sex to rest because her vagina is sore. My girlfriend isn't complaining, I'm just saying. As she often says, I'm not bragging because it isn't as fun as somebody think.

When I say stamina, I mean, an hour or longer of a full on heart on an active sex the entire time. We move through many positions, oral, vaginal, and she even tried anal a time or two and helps her bringing me over the edge. It is so bad that I often do not organize it myself and it isn't from the lack of trying

or any lack of enthusiasm for my girlfriend. I've had several partners over the last over the years and this is one is the only one so far that can stay with me long as without tapping out, so to speak. So anything I can do to encourage an orgasm on demand, how do porn stars do it for the camera all the time? You're the best, sincerely,

Paul from Heartlifred Connecticut. Well, there are theories of delayed ejaculation and they suggest that it's caused a fear of loss of control, hostility and anger and too much reliance on fantasy during sex to get aroused. It can also be so maybe there's ways that you have your body trained during masturbation and you just can't with a woman there could be some earlier things from childhood, some deeper things going on here.

Also the problem can be caused by a man learning to masturbate in a particular way which cripples his ability to reach orgasm through normal stimulation. So again, it has to do with the way you masturbate. But there's got to be ways that you could work with her maybe because it's on the hour every time full on hard on like, we don't all want sex for an hour every time. We just don't. Who is time? Well, unlike I have to walk my dog. You know how you say women once they think about it, it's gone. But with men, you, I mean, you just got to think about it the entire time. they think about it, it's gone. With men, I mean, you just gotta think about it the entire time. Just think about it and how it happened.

Think about the orgasm. Yeah. What do you mean you think about? Well, how do you think about it? Thinking about orgasm. You're like orgasm or has them, that'd be awesome. Yeah, interesting, you know, how awesome would feel and all that stuff. Then it will happen.

We're different that way. It's not working for them. So there might be some other underlying issues, but yeah, just think about your orgasm and breathe a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds good. Okay. Should we get into our, I think we should get into our topic of the day, which is jealousy. What? Okay. What are you looking at me for? Nothing. I'm a little tired today. I'm tailed. Yeah, go ahead. We should, we should forget the alcohol. Like we need some kind of like, offers or something. I have a little tired today. I'm too. Yeah, go ahead. We should, we should forget the alcohol. We need some kind of like offers or something.

I have a red bull back in my other office. I wish you brought me one. Sorry. Okay, so jealousy, let me just say this. A lot of things about jealousy. Jealousy comes up in every relationship, whether you're in a monogamous relationship or you're in an open relationship or you're a singer or you're whatever. Jealousy's going to happen at some point in a relationship.

It just happens. So, and usually jealousy is a byproduct of someone's insecurity because we feel threatened. This girl's hotter. She's with someone who's better than I am. Her new boyfriend is a football player or whatever. I'm jealous. So, while everyone gets jealous or suspicious, experiencing jealousy on a daily basis is a problem. So if you're with someone who is really jealous all the time,

like I've dated guys like that who were like super jealous and I wasn't even, okay, yes, I'm a flirt. We established that early on. But there are people I've dated that are like, you were flirting with the waiter. I saw it. I was ordering like my chicken. Like I wasn't like.

Yeah, but you'd probably didn't have flirting with. I didn't flirt in the way. I wasn't flirting. I literally wasn't flirting. I'm willing to say when I was flirting, when I wasn't flirting you'd probably didn't have flirting with. I didn't. I wasn't. I literally wasn't. I'm willing to say when I was flirting with I wasn't fighting, it was like it was like a disc. It was like this association. And I think a lot of times people have issues with mistrust and jealousy when they come

from homes, from alcoholic backgrounds or from parents who are distrustful. It's true. Like parents, if you let's say you come from a family of alcoholic parents, a lot of times it builds. You don't have trust in people because everything your parents said, for example, we're like, oh, for sure, we're going to show up at your first birthday party. And then they're wasted on the couch. And then you feel like you constantly distrust people.

So a lot of the issues that people have in relationships around trust come, don't even have to do with the person's behavior. So dating like me, if you're someone who already has a problem with jealousy and you need someone like me who's a big flirt, you might have a problem. But a lot of it is like predisposed, okay? So according to the US Department of Justice, 49% of nearly 3.5 million violent crimes committed against

family members were committed because of spouses due to jealousy. It's become a problem one-third of couple seeking marital therapy today, and 44% admit trust issues have put a big dent in their marriage. So 70% say, you'd be jealous if your husband had a close, botanic female friend. 53% of people say they secretly check his phone messages in emails. 53% of women flirt to make their man jealous. Maybe women think flirting is innocent and fine, but it's a way of testing your husband's love, but ask yourself as it's contributing to the problems. So again, why do we get jealous? It may be because our partner was unfaithful,

something that our past girlfriend or boyfriend was jealous, but it's just there with you and we have the jealousy. I thought you said that you don't get jealous. I don't get jealous. But I have gotten jealous in the past. What made you jealous? I'll tell you, it's interesting that you talk about that because I think that when people say, I never get jealous. I think we all have an in us to experience a range of emotions. You can, someone can make you jealous.

So I do the guy who brought out my jealousy in me. But it wasn't, I wasn't jealous the first year we were dating. And I think You can, someone can make you jealous. So I do the guy who brought out my jealousy in me, but it wasn't, I wasn't jealous the first year we were dating. But after that, because of like some, like he was with some chick, we were broke, I don't know. He lied to me about something and he was with this girl. He sort of cheated on me, but not really, because we were kind of broken up.

Long story short, I instantly distrusted him. Like everything he did, I was like, he says going to the drugstore, but he's really probably going to meet that girl in the corner, like crazy thoughts going your head. You become obsessive and jealous and from one thing, from one little thing that he did. So I think like I have in me, because I saw that,

but typically I'm not looking for it. I come from like a trustworthy family. My background's pretty healthy. I don't have a history of men cheating on me. And I'm pretty confident person in many ways that I feel like, if a guy's with me, why would he want to lie and be with anyone else? Oh, yeah. I do believe that.

On the best. Mm-hmm. So, when jealousy does strike, it's often because people are insecure. They feel like they're not good enough A lot of times they compare themselves to their rival. So for example, like if we were dating I'd be like Or like if I found out like for example whenever we find like a Accisating someone we always assume she's like some tall hot No, but you guys always talk crap about it all the time Yeah, but we make the assumptions our brain goes to like the worst possible place.

She does. You know, they feel threatened. They imagine the worst case scenario that our partner might leave us for someone else. And so not not only jealousy unpleasant, but individuals who are chronically jealous or suspicious, often misinterpret what's going on. So they create stories in their mind. Like, do you know what I mean? It becomes a sort of like self perpetuating thing.

Like you get a little jealous and you're like, he always go, he always, you know, he never drinks too cups of coffee like he must have been up late. Like whatever those crazy thoughts you have for exactly, you know, being with a jealous person is difficult because highly as a specialist partners can be over controlling, needy, and invasive invasive. So there's some dip. Yeah, have you been with jealous checks, right? Yeah. And like, what do you do? I just kind of blow it off because there's no reasoning with those

types of things. It's not like you're really doing anything wrong. And if it gets overbearing, then it's like, just kind of loose. Right. Okay. I'll offer some specific advice here. Okay. So for dealing with jealousy and four steps, four steps deal with jealousy.

Okay. Talk about your insecurities. So this is the hardest part. Because if you're a jealous person, you want to be like, no, it's you, it's you, you're constantly blaming someone. But you have to be like, you know what? I'm a little insecure about it.

I've got issues. I'm afraid you're gonna leave me. I'm afraid that every time you walk out that door and you just talk about it and you bring some light. No one ever does that, that's the same thing. That needs to be like, and this is the concept that I think people need to talk about before they get married to I mean like I'm jealous I get jealous it might make I might be threatened if you all of a sudden become BF out with a coworker

And you start texting her late at night or whatever even if it's not sexual, but we might become jealous Why I don't know if I get jealous, but I do get annoyed I do get annoyed sometimes You do get annoyed with why? I'll be upset. I'm like, why are you doing that? It's not like I'm jealous, like I'm mad in that way, but I just get annoyed. I'm like, why are you even doing that?

Right, right, right, exactly. So as a general, when talking about jealousy, it helps to focus on your feelings and not your partner's behavior. So you don't want to be like, you did this and you did that, but it's like, no, this is how I feel when you do something like that

because sometimes their behavior can be inappropriate, right, if they're flirting with a coworker or whatever. So another thing about interpreting, about jealousy is that you can learn to interpret things differently. So if I'm in a relationship with someone and I interpret that every time he's working late in my mind, he's sleeping with someone or whatever,

you can change your thought patterns. So it's trying to think about the events that make you suspicious and you think about them differently. So for instance, if a husband or wife with a girlfriend does not answer the phone right away, we can be thinking like, oh my god, he's outboning some check. But you can also think like,

maybe they're phone died, maybe they don't have the charger. I mean, it is true. Like you can switch those thoughts in your head. You're cause you're gonna make yourself a little crazy, right? You just gotta like, because people who are very jealous, they jump to the worst case scenario. Always. What?

No, they do, and then they go to the extremes where they follow you. They hire a spy, right? Well, the best part is when the TV show cheaters, when they are cheating. Well, that's a thing. I mean, your partner might be cheating, too. So we're going to get into that.

Well, a lot of stuff. Yeah. I mean, a lot of suspicion comes from a true place, too, sometimes. Well, then then we get into the whole, how do you get more information? Like, if you tried to interpret things differently, and you tried to talk to your partner,

Mary Delsey, and that's still not working You got to get more information. So do you snoop and okay? So when you do snoop though and you don't find anything that's when you need to drop it though You do need to drop it if you keep it going then you're gonna destroy Right, so you can snoop I guess if you have to but that's what it's gonna take to you know make everything fun But often the suspicion is fueled by a lack of information So you don't have enough information so you're suspicious take to make everything fun. But often this suspicion is fueled by a lack of information. So you don't have enough information so you're suspicious.

So if you do need to do something, but if you find, if you look and you just set a time limit on it and you look and you don't find anything, then move on. It's your own issue, right? So I mean, when you're looking for, so the thing is like, OK, so the whole thing is about snooping. If you do think it's right for people to like,

I feel like in a way, it's good to look for information, but also you're always gonna find something. There's always gonna be some ambiguous, weird, XX-O, 30 texts from someone, don't you think? You're looking at the phone. If you're looking at your phone, yeah. For sure. I don't want anyone ever looking at my phone.

That's why I delete. Delete, delete, delete, delete. You delete all your texts? Yeah, all the time. Why? delete. You delete all your texts? Yeah, all the time. Why? Because you girls looking at your phone? I don't even know whoever will look at my phone.

If you lose it like I did. I lose it, yeah. Okay, asking a lot of invasive questions is usually not a good way to go up and discover in the truth. If someone is trying to hide something from you, they usually aren't going to go own up to it immediately. So you do resort to snooping, but there are ethical issues. But if you don't discover anything by a certain time, you just got to let it go.

So how do you deal with this jealous lover that you have? Okay. You got to deal with your fears and anxieties through communication. It's the same thing. It's not a lot of times, you know, when I've been with jealous men, and I recently, I was last year when I was a student at Crazy Guy who if I'm a snake, he was like so jealous about things that were just unfounded. I know that I can be a flirt, but he was making up stories and every time I was out, I

was like, I'm sorry I was at Whole Foods. I don't know. You know what I mean? The people who are like obsessively jealous. How do you deal with it? I mean, I think they're really hard people to deal with. And they've got a lot of issues. And if you're willing to sit with this person and go to therapy and figure it out, but someone who's like obsessively jealous

and is unfounded, it's a problem. So you don't want to dismiss or just count their feelings, you want to work at them on it, but you want them to get to the bottom of their feelings and not keep blaming you. Yeah, yeah. It is a really hard to deal with, really hard. You've had that. Yeah. You just got to, yeah, again, cut it off or go to there

and try to work it out with them. You do. I mean, you really do. And maybe someone cheated recently or their past partner cheated. I mean, again, a lot of it is just like deep underlying issues. But I think that one of the key things is to really interpret things differently

like in your mind. If you are the one who's experiencing jealousy and you feel like, I'm sort of obsessed with this jealousy. I've sort of feel like it's taken of my life and I'm thinking about too much about stuff. You can, like, I've had to do that, like dating several people now, for example, not being in a monogamous relationship. You can, there are things that can happen that I can be like, oh, he's out with so and so.

Like, I'm out with so and so, but I can think, I can think of him, I can go to the worst place and just think, like, not really think about it and just be like, I'm being honest, and so but I can think I can think I might go to the worst place and just think like not really think about it And just be like I'm being honest. He's being honest and it's all fine. Like I've learned to transcend a jealousy Oh, you're above and beyond it. When did this happen? It's been a process that I've been working on Been working on so it's still going on. Yeah, it still goes on But I really just like flip it. I do I flip flip it. I'm like, that's not happening. And I don't really care, and I'm awesome. I love myself.

I love me. Cool. That's what we got, okay. That's it for the show today. Yeah, that's it. We got for Joss, you saw everyone. Don't be Jolliceco person. And I really like the couple of things real quick.

Go ahead, Miss. We sign off. Number one, we're at the Stitcher Studios here in SerumSosco Stitcher.com. You can download the app and listen to the show on your smartphone, your droid, your iPhone, and iPad, and all that kind of stuff on the go. And I really enjoy talking to people on the phone. So I know you just put the phone number now on the window, so or people can go to the website and write it down.

And then, when we're having the show going on, give us a call. I want to talk to people. We want to talk to you. God bless, we'll answer your questions. OK, everyone. Thanks for listening to Sector Family. It was a good for you.

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