Sex With Emily - SWE: Pet Peeves & What Not To Do In Bed

Episode Date: August 30, 2012

Emily's friend encounters "the fatal move," the head push, and Emil and Menace discuss its merits. Emily and Menace share their pet peeves about the opposite sex - from talking to not picking up signals to playing corpse in bed. The Great Handjob Debate flares up, a listener looks for nonverbal cues to move foreplay ahead. Another listener considers a four year long-term relationship and Emily weighs the pros and cons of long-term Skype sex. Other topics include: having kids, sex toys, single parent dating, and celebrity sex addicts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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So if you want to keep our show free and have some hot sex in the process, check out 4-on-line that's F-O-R-T-A. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I promise your sex life will improve. Hi, you're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com. You can listen to all of our podcasts, send up our mailing list, check out the blog, and you can

also download my iPhone app 101 sex tips from Sex with Emily. You can check out my favorite toys from my toy store on my website. It's from mypleasure.com. And you can find me on Twitter and Facebook and see a bunch of stuff going out with me. And I can see stuff going out with you if you email me with your questions at feedbackacsectsethanley.com. Hi, Menace. Hi, how are you doing?

I'm doing good. Thank you. Oh my God, that's a lot of information. I just wanted to get it out, you know? Yeah, people need to get hold of you People need to get hold of me. Yeah, my Facebook is Emily Morris and it's Twitter. It's Emily Morris and menace is white menace dot com. Yes, dot com I've got so many sex tips today that I was just needed another moment together my thoughts before you came in because we're gonna

Go through lots of sex tips because I have a lot of sex in my mind like I always do so I'm doing the intro To my book, you know,'m doing the intro to my book. You know, I've been working on my book. And so my task this weekend is to write the intro to the book like what is sex? What does sex mean to me? And it's so hard to think about because it's really setting the tone for the book and like why it's got me thinking about like why is hard doing the show? And I bet a lot of people kind of feel the same way that I do, but sex is huge. I mean sex is everything. Sex is a really big deal. If you're not having it, you're not doing it, you're not talking about it, you know, it sucks. Like you're in a miserable place and that's why I think a lot of people listen to the show and why I started doing

it is because we all want to get a better at it and there's no magic bullet. Like I'm never here saying like here's the one thing you need to do. But the first thing that's most important about sex, which is what I'm going to tell, I'm like practicing my writing right now, what I'm going to write though, I was thinking is that is that the first thing is that you have to bottom line is you have to know what makes yourself feel good. Like a woman or a man, you have to know what makes yourself feel good, what positions you need to get there. And the second thing you have to do is you have to share that with your partner. And it's not if I'm pushing her head down like we talked about which we're gonna get into because we got a lot of response

to that. And don't be afraid to share it through demonstrating or talking about it or sharing your fantasies showing each other where the buttons are and I was thinking about this story that I met this this couples therapist and she was a couples therapist for 25 years she'd seen thousand couples and she said to me Emily not one couple there isn't one exception to this rule that did not have an issue with their sex life she said either they had too much too little they had no attraction or no arousal or too much arousal and so she said that it's always an issue and you find the couples who just kind of say, well, my wife doesn't want it or I don't want it.

It's OK. And we're going to be OK because we get along really well. And he takes the garbage out. And she's great with the kids or whatever. That it's really, when you're not connecting sexually, you're going to have other problems in their relationship. So to think it's sex is an important. And disregard it is something that is a serious problem

and will be a problem in your relationship. So that's why you're listening to this show, I hope. Even more than money. Even more than a sex of money or the two biggest factors in a relationship that bring you down that can really hurt you. But when couples aren't having good sex and connecting, it does not vote well. And then there's a lot of couples who kind of disregard it. And I think a lot of people like I said are listening to get tips and to get help and I answer your letters and all that stuff. So speaking of that though, um, sax, I'm not having any. No, I'm not. I'm still in my mandatory, which is a moratorium.

You know, you put a hold on things, my mandatory, I'm no man, still not doing that. And I've been very productive. I can't, man, it's, you know, my 80D, I'm getting so much done. We shot last week for my YouTube channel. We're shooting all these videos, which I want you to come be in some of them. All right. I need to get a tan. I know. I'm gonna hit the gym.

I'm gonna get a cut. I did a TV interview yesterday and I was so embarrassed. Why? It's so many lights on me. I'm so pasty because I don't get outside the office that I probably, you could probably see right through me. I was like, don't they make up on you or powder?

No, I'm a woman, they do that for me. No, they don't do that for me. I think you look adorable, man. Thank you, I try. You really, really, really do. So No, I'm a woman. They do that for me. I think you look adorable. Thank you I try you really really really do so yeah, I'm not yeah, so I'm not doing the man thing and it's interesting and I am productive and I'm working and it's just Interesting to notice like I have these you know inclinations of texting someone or be getting in touch with the guy that I know I could date or be interested in and I'm just not doing it and I'm getting stuff done. I feel like a Zen master. Nice. I do I feel like or be interested in it. I'm just not doing it. And I'm getting stuff done. I feel like a Zen Master. Nice.

I do. I feel like there's just so much stuff. So last week, also we talked about this, we talked about a huge pet peeve that I just kind of dropped because it happened to a friend of mine. And I bring it again to this in the letters in a minute because we had a lot of response to it. I said that when a man, my friend had sex with a guy that she was really into and she was totally psyched,

they were having sex until he did a fatal flaw move. He took her head. He was 40. 40 years old and he was doing that. He took her head and he pushed her down like I want to have, I want you to, you know, Yeah, give Felatio. Perform Felatio on me. We know that that's what you want We know you want it. We might not be ready to do it and we're ready to do it. We're gonna do it sometimes you take too long Men is what's too long was it the first time she's ever done that first time she had sex with him

Oh, that he did this is this is a move This is never gave him Felatio before no. So I think this is something that happens early on in a relationship because eventually you just do it. But this is something that should not happen the first two to three to four times you're with somebody. Maybe if you guys are getting a little more aggressive and it kind of becomes a sort of rough play, you know, maybe you could be into that

and push the head down and do stuff like that. But basically a woman knows that that's what you want and she knows this option and she knows it's open and that's always an Opportunity in your penis is there ready and willing to have you know receive but she'll do it when she's ready Well, something is it all goes back to the how men are impatient right because they feel like something's gonna happen And I'm not gonna have sex exactly about this before so that's why they're just guiding you there's right exactly I feel like there's a point where men think they got trained, because maybe when they're

younger, they got shut down a lot. You know, when you're in your teenage years, all you want to do is get laid and girls are like, no, no, no, I'm waiting blah, blah, blah. And I think that men get wired in this way that they're afraid that they're going to eventually get shut down. And so they just, they just keep pushing the sex, they're pushing the sex, they're jumping over your breasts, they're doing everything just to get down there and have sex. Yeah.

They're not slowing down. So, menace, I wanted to ask you, since I revealed this big pet peeve that I had with men, I thought this would be interesting to find out from you what your pet peeve is about women in bed. If you haven't. Women in bed, that's sexual. It could be sexual, it could be the way she kisses or the way she something, it could be anything.

I hate when she wears her socks in bed, doesn't matter. You don't have to get you know, where do you think no pet peeve about women sexually something that's happened sexually Well, can I start off with my number one pet peeve in bed? Yeah, please but it's not it's not sexual We'll be eating pringles or something. I have to think about it. No, number one thing is, after a really long day, really long day, you find you lay down in bed and it's like, man, I am done. That's when women, they trap you and torture you and say, you know what, I think we need to talk about this. I'm like, we've been hanging out for the past five hours. Why can't we talk about it then? Why do you need to talk about it at this point in time

when I'm about to go to sleep? Have you relayed it to your in your relationship to your partner that can we not talk at night in bed? Yes. You've said that. But there's so many people that I've talked to that have the same problem. No, it's true. It's true.

That is a known thing. In fact, that used to be a joke with all my boyfriend's. I'd be like, we need to talk. And it would just be our funny joke because we know that's the worst thing that a known thing. In fact, that used to be a joke with all my boyfriend's, I'd be like, we need to talk. And it would just be our funny joke, because we know that's the worst thing that you could say. Yeah. It's terrible. Because I'm tired in my patience level is that zero. So I don't really, you know, when's your best time? When would you rather have her talk to you? Like earlier, earlier, like, you're hanging out for the past couple hours. Right. But you think

that now that you're in bed, you're trapped. And she's got you there. You're not going anywhere. You've already brushed your teeth. I'm just gonna be blah, blah, blah. And I'm just like, a couple hours. Right. But you think that now that you're in bed, you're trapped and she's got you there. You're not going anywhere. You've already brushed your teeth. I'm just going to be blah, blah, blah. And I'm just like, not going to, you know, give these lab responses. I'm going to say whatever the hell I got to say to get the goddamn conversation over with. All right. That's a good one.

That's a good one. You got to think more about a sexual one too. And sex. That must be so. Okay. This is what I've heard from Ben. Pet peeves for women when they just lie there and they don't do anything. Now, I can't believe that those women,

how do you not move around when you're having sex, but some women just lie there? Yeah, and then it also goes to like a patient type thing. Like I don't, you gotta tee, when I hear women on television shows and say, oh, you gotta tease him, you gotta do these things. Hell no, shut up. Men's patience level are like, you know, is zero.

You don't want to be teased ever? No, who cares? No, I want to have sex. She wants to be teased. I want to have sex. I know you do, honey, but then she wants- No, this is the point that I, okay, if she wants to be teased, that's cool. All right, I'm willing to do that

All right, but I don't like it when I watch these talk shows where women are like trying to give Advice on how to please a man talk to a man on how to please a man, you know We know we've learned from men. We've learned we do know honey. We know I know what pleases the man I do I'm gonna get into what pleases the woman soon. That's what we're going to talk about in the show. We are going to talk about some sex tips, some of the top sex tips for men. These are just little tiny snippets that you can do to please a woman and we're also going to get into your letters in a minute. We've got lots of letters. Thanks everybody for emailing me at feedback at sexwithmaly.com. I've also added a new feature to the site. It's a PayPal donate button. And we don't

make money on the show, menace and eye are not out shopping and buying new materials. Yeah, Beverly Hills in California. Exactly. We are not. And so we just have to appreciate anything. If you can give a dollar, I know you people pay $0.99 for song, pay dollar, ten bucks, whatever you could do. Thank you to everybody who has donated. It really makes difference and we'll do more videos and more shows and all that stuff. So thanks to that. Can I ask for a my thing? Please. Because I'm doing whatever you want. If you really like to show and you would like to just help out in this contest I'm doing, it's going on for a month and you can vote every day. It takes you 10 seconds. Please just go to vote

Menace.com and click five stars. That's all you got to do. Okay. Vote menace.com and click five stars and it's also on my website as well. Thank you So you could do that there. That's all I need. Okay. Thanks, man. That's all we need from you. God, I feel some needy. Okay, we're giving back now Okay, for the rest of the show we are just giving giving, giving, giving, giving. We're reading your letters, we're giving sex tips. Okay. And we're going to start, like I said, guess last week we had Dr. Shandor Gardos on the show. We have 124 shows now, and we're going to have a guest again next week. We're going to start bringing the guest back. Okay, letters.

Thanks everyone for emailing me. Okay, Emily, my girlfriend gave me a hand job with lots of loop. Lasted a long time and it was amazing. Better than when I do it. Thanks, Chris. Here you go. Can I get access to the email addresses? Because I believe you're filtering all this stuff to...

Okay, we should catch people up on the great hand job, the big of O10. You're filtering. You are filtering to free us. A few weeks ago, a month ago now, maybe. I talked about the fact that hand job is a nice accoutrement with something to add to your sex life. It's to do a hand job and also perform oral sex, do play, show, blow job, whatever. But to also give hand jobs, we've had so many people write in about it.

They like it. They don't like it. Menace thinks that women are not good at it and don't know what they're doing. And I'm saying, I'm not saying give up, get performing oral sex in a man, but add in the hand job, use your hands, use loop. So we've got some more letters to that regard today. You can use a hand job while you're giving a relationship.

You can filter in your letters and I am reading all the letters. He's pro and he's anti-anime pro, okay. You can give hand jobs while giving a play show, that is fine, but not just Handjob only yeah, okay, and I could totally disagree that a hand job only is a nice surprise You know, it's guess it is relationships are all about mixing things up and and in the elements of surprise makes it exciting doing something different Wow, I wasn't expecting her to give me a hand job that Feel good now that feels good

Hi Emily menace. I have to agree with you Emily. The infamous head push is a pet peeve for so many women including myself. Give me the opportunity to please you how and when I'm ready. If you rush it and press your me into it, I'll become totally turned off. However, there is the occasional rough sex with your significant other when the head push might not be a bad thing. Because if we're all in that realm, I might give you a head push. I might give you a head push as well But keep in mind this only comes after you and your partner talked about please to each other and how far you can take it

My boyfriend and I like the occasional roughness, but let me highlight occasional. I love your show Michelle She doesn't like the head push either We're just guiding you. Thanks Michelle for writing. I know I know what you mean though Sometimes though it's rough and you're like you want to be like Hey, baby do this. No, it's just like you I'm looking at my watch and you're taking too long That's what it is. You're taking too long to get down there. Yeah, but I think that a woman will eventually do okay Here I'm gonna get you another letter that addresses that because the guy said to me Coming up he talks about the fact that what do you do if you don't eventually get forget the oral sex that you want? Yeah. We'll get to that. Dear Emily. So

of course I'm writing I'm writing back since my letter about hand jobs was read first. Little butterflies in the stomach when you read it love knowing my thoughts matter. Ah. I have a question to ask that relates the story you told of your friend and the aggressive push for pleasure. This is the head push. I've never forced a girl woman's shicks head down to do the job, but I do find a frustrating giving lots of nonverbal hints that I'd like to get it performed, but I'm getting no results. Guiding her hand over my pants also placing my hand on my member down the pants are going

down on her, doesn't guarantee any reciprocation. I have the feeling it's my need to be more vocal unless suggested if I less suggested if I want to happen. I hate the idea of being that guy who expects it and physically push the woman's hand down to get the job done and nothing's gonna happen. Ask your doctor friend or talk about it amongst yourselves. What are at least three different ways I can try and instigate getting that brilliant part of sexual foreplay underway. I'm loving the show and I look forward to being a guest soon,

LOL Seth. Hey Seth, thank you so much for writing. Okay, he wants three tips that he can try to get oral sex from a woman that's not a head push. So I thought about it for you. If you did, I was just gonna say, can I, because you're a dude, what works for you? Can I receive Flascio?

Ask now really tell you either yes or no is like that's not my thing and then if it's not their thing then don't over you Have you done that? Say yeah, yeah, yeah straight up. Yeah straight up ask. Okay. That's good tip. This is from man and it's worked and man This is a man. This is a gets a lot of women to say you know what? Yeah, to say look and I 90% of the time you won't get shut down or they will tell you what's really going on and then it's up to you if you want to stick around or not Okay, yeah, I mean, I think okay, here's a thing I think one thing you could do is talk about your fantasies. You could say God, baby I really because couples do not talk about their fantasies at all. I'm like, hey, so do you have any fantasies of me? And she might say, yeah, I really dream of you tying me up one day.

You might say, wow, I'd really love, like I picture you going down on me and how hot you'd look doing that. And then she would know that that's something that you're into. Yeah. Yeah. That could be one way. Now, in other ways, if you're, if you're together for a long, long time, and it's not happening, like, I think this, what we're talking about at the head push is if the head push, the man's pushing your head down there to do it after the first, second, third, fourth time, that's too soon. Some women, you know, they, they, these really see it as an active intimacy and they want to wait a while.

But if months go by, then you can just like straight up, I mean, it may be even before that, you say something, you say, this is what I want. And if you're not getting it and she's not into it, and that's really important to you, and then you got your answer, relationship over. Or sex is important to you, and she's not performing it after three months. You're done. I need to look up the history of Felicia and see when it became mainstream. I think honestly, I remember reading something about like when the Kinsey out, you know, Alfred Kinsey did his Kinsey reports in the 50s. It was the first time that sex was sexually studied.

And they talked about the fact that women and men, they were just having sex to basically procreate. They didn't really know about oral sex. And they mean, it wasn't as widespread that women knew about oral sex. And so I don't, I don't think that women were performing oral sex. I'm sure there was like underground and like hipsters and people were but it wasn't as talked about it wasn't as known. There weren't like books about it. Probably you know they started learning about it in the 60s, late 50s early 60s. So it's still fairly new on this planet. People have been giving oral

sex vibes the Romans and since the early times people were, but I'm saying like an R culture in America. Like came mainstream where people talked about it openly. Yes, exactly. Like women started talking about it. People think women, you know, I mean, it wasn't until like, yeah, the 60s. And now we talk about it all the time. At least I do. We talk about oral sex.

But don't think the Egyptians weren't, you know, no, they were. Oh, no, the blow job has been around. We should look up the history of the blow job. That's your assignment for next week. Mine? Okay, mine. Menace won't do anything. He just shows up. Okay, so.

Here I turned the mics on. I know. I could never, you know what, menace? I love you. And I can never do this without you. Okay, thank you. Yeah, I can't turn the mics on. Okay, Emily,

Ben listening to your show for a few months and I love it. It's fun and informative. I currently go to school in Chicago. My boyfriend is in Spain for four years. It's really hard to we miss each other a lot. I was wondering if you've any advice for how to make our relationship with Stan the distance. Thanks so much. Love the show Amelia. Well, I would say love Chicago by the way love Chicago to love Chicago from Michigan.

Be there soon for Lola, Paloza really. Oh, fun. Yeah, lady Gaga. I'm gonna go tell the share. I am. Okay. We'll talk about that. I'll be there soon for Lollapalooza. Really? Oh, fun. Yeah. Lady Gaga. Are you going to go chill this year? I am. Okay. We'll talk about that. I'll be there in two weeks. So what I would say, Amelia, is that, well, first thing that I thought about was Skype.

Skype is unbelievable. My best friend is living in Grenada right now. She's in vet school. And we Skype several times a week. And I actually feel like we are connected that I see her almost as as much. We sit there for like an hour and we just laugh and talk and have glass of wine together and it's great. Skype. I mean this is just technology. I'm sure you know this, but it actually sometimes I've noticed that it really does make it feel like

I am seeing her in it. It's intimate. Have you ever skyped? Yeah and then also I hooked up Skype to my big screen TV. Really? Yeah, so it's just like you just sit in front of your TV and it's like there's a giant video of the person you're talking to. Oh my God, then you can have Skype sex. Yeah, totally. I haven't done that, but I haven't done either. We give Skype sex.

You know, there's also sexy text, sexy letter emails, like talking about the last time you were together and there's also the asking questions. Like, this is a good time when you're not together. If you're talking in the phone, like ask about fantasies, ask about what turns you on, ask to talk about what you're going to do next time you see each other. But honestly, another thing that came up for me, a third thing a million, was that you're young.

I think you're in school. He's in school for four years. Are you sure you want to be committed for four years when he's in Spain? Is he really, I'm sure, maybe he is the guy and he's the one and you're certain, but you know, there's ways that you could kind of, if you wanted to start, you know, dating on your own as well. Don't listen to her merely as she's the devil. I'm not the devil. If she's the one. If she's the 22 years old and if that's the guy she loves, then you know, stick it. Okay, I'm just saying, are you sure

that you want, I just want to know a lot of times and couples or he might be saying we're committed and he's really not, he's in Spain. I don't know. I'm just saying she's young. Is that bad? You think that's bad? I think that's bad to say, you know, I just want to make sure that you want to do any problem. Honey, long distance. I don't care. You know what? It's not about your age. I'm sorry, Amelia. I don't know how old you are. You could be in grad school. I think you might even said that you're going to school in Chicago. You could be whatever. You could be older. It doesn't matter. I'm just saying four years that you're going to school in Chicago. You could be whatever. You could be older. It doesn't matter.

I'm just saying four years of long distance. Okay. A year of long distance. You know it's long distance. I think, okay, you can do it that. But four years is a really, really long time. And so I'm just saying, like, is there a way that you could find your work, find work there?

Can you get that? I mean, it's just a long time to be long distance. So I'm just saying, are you sure this is what you want to do and you don't want to date other people? I'm all, it's all I'm saying to be long distance. So I'm just saying, are you sure this is what you want to do and you don't want to date other people? I'm all, it's all I'm saying. Okay. A little factoid about Chicago. Yes.

They had the busiest McDonald's in America there. Really? Yes. Didn't know that. And they have a museum and everything. I didn't know that McDonald's. Good mid-western football. That's not me and Chicago people.

Okay. Good to know. Thanks for tuning in to Sex with Emily. One of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of being credible people at Good Vibration. Good Vibration is a sex-positive company based in San Francisco with an amazing website. I got my very first vibrator from the Vibration, so I hold a soft spot in my heart for that. They have a huge online store at goodbibes.com. You can find literally anything on there from toys to DVDs to games.

Just click on the good vibrations banner at sexwithemily.com and enter GVShipEmily for free shipping. So check it out to help yourself and you help keep sex with Emily free, just like it should be. Thanks for listening. I promise you're sex life won't afraid. Hi Emily, I've enjoyed your program and been a dedicated listener for a while. I think

I've listened to all your archive podcasts as well. And I have a couple comments for you. In some podcasts, you and men have talked about people waiting until they're 30s to get married and have families, but it may come at a cost. Those that want to have a family should not wait too long. Infertility for women in their 30s is a growing problem. I have more than a few female or married fans who play the field and didn't get married to their 30s or 40s and are struggling to have a kid. They put careers ahead of their personal lives or didn't want to settle down.

Infertility treatment, stone-waves work and be heartbreaking. Also, it's not as easy having a child in your late 30s and 40s. I'm 45. I have an older teenager and a younger child. Though I love my youngest child, he makes me feel young. And again, I envy my friends who had kids in their early or mid 20s, who we empty nesters in a few years. So I feel bad for my youngest.

I'll be my 60s when he's graduating from high school. I'm going to be an old man before he's grown up. I hope that I will live long enough or at least be healthy enough to see him graduate from college and have his own family, cheers. Paul. So yeah, Paul, that's interesting. But this is just the way culture is taking us right now. We've talked people are waiting a lot until their 30s to have kids and 40s, but it is. It's a total, it's a, it's a trade off. I mean, I've had to live a very, if I want to have kids, you know, I've got, like,

some, I've got to start making those decisions and I've had a very vibrant 20s and 30s with, like, doing my own thing and having my own life. But if I want to have kids, you know, you gotta get on it. And I would be an older parent, I suppose. A little old lady. A little lady. What about you, menace? What about kids? Do you feel that inkling? Uh, you 30? No, I think that having kids is a huge responsibility and a really big financial responsibility and I don't believe I work in an industry where I can be stable.

Right. So that is a decision I would have to make. And right now I don't think it would be a good one. I think that we have, yeah, I mean, I think that's a good point, especially living in a city, you know, like we do. It's hard. It is really hard and that people are delaying marriage and they are delaying families just because that really is the way the culture is going that women are in the workforce stronger than ever. I mean, this wasn't happening with my

parents generation. My mom was the first generation that she couldn't even have a credit card. My dad had, you know, my dad, she had like a credit card on her dad. No, when our women are working, they're realizing like, do I really need to settle down? I like working and then we delay in and you know, then we're 40-year-old mothers. And then you see Paris Hilton all over the place cruising the world and having fun. I mean that's what the younger generation is saying. Right, they're like I'm gonna do that. I want to be like that girl. I don't want to you know. But believe me I have a lot of friends and there is a part of me Paul. I hear you that it's like God you know I could have already had a kid of

20 and had gone out of the way and my kid being high school and I'd still be doing my thing. But I didn't and we're all making different choices these days. So, you know, hey, Emily, love the show. Can't wait for you to have more guests all out the old days, but I'm still loving the discussions you have with menace and Dr. Gardos. I have a quick comment regarding sex toys. You like sex toys, menace hates them. From a woman's perspective, menace, men have nothing to worry about. I don't know about other women, but speaking from my own use, I've never experienced any

sort of acclamation to the feel of a vibrator leading to inability to get a rouse, though I'm boyfriend. In fact, though I love sex toys and believe, and believe they really make a difference. Hold on. They serve a great role in the bedroom, a loner with a partner. A vibrator or a toy can bring me great pleasure, but it's never brought me to orgasm, at least in the way my man can't. Always leaves me wanting more. Maybe do something to do with the human component, feeling intimacy with my boyfriend that leads to mind-bling orgasms, my vibrator, and I don't have that kind of relationship. Does not replace

my boyfriend, and in fact, as heightened my rouse of when I am intimate with him. Mention after your sex toys are feeling timidated by them. Many women use them as supplemental or in conjunction with their man Just a different perspective than I think is presented so far. I guess it's all I have to share thanks for the great show love it Lydia So here she is. Here's your woman, man. She's not that she sex toys doesn't do it for no She wasn't listening. She wasn't listening. She wasn't listening to what and she addressed it to she says that she uses it as a tool in But what about this, you know just having it the natural way? No, she thinks she does.

She thinks she can't have the, or the vibrator doesn't bring her to orgasm. Yeah, it seems the way she was talking about a by itself. Right, she uses her partner and the secretary. Yeah, she uses both. But then she also says. Yeah, that's what my whole thing is. It's not just having, if you want to use a sex toy all day long, that's fine.

But I'm just saying, when having sex with your partner, if you need a toy every single time, I believe that's a problem. Okay, I hear you, I'm on this. All right. See, she needs to listen next time. Okay. God. No, thanks, lady.

I appreciate it. Okay. One more letter. Yeah, go for it. Great. Was wondering if you were your partner in crime? I think that's you, menace. Okay. Had any advice for single parents on dating? Places to look to meet other people. In my case, I haven't been out on a date in almost 18 months. You don't cost me a battle with my ex-fars on. I finally won, but now every time it seems like I meet someone, they run away when I mention kids. Help. I know in the long run, there's not, I know in a long run, they're not worth it, but it

can't help but feel a little lonely. Thanks, Emily, keep up the good podcast, Jason and Cincinnati. That's tough being a single parent. It really is tough, but I have to say that there are a lot of ways to meet single parents. First of all, dating online. I mean, there's no stigma attached to it anymore. There's actually websites just dedicated for single parents, but really, you could sign up for a match

or a nerve and you could sort by people who have kids and people who are acclaim with you of kids. You can just close that and the first thing. And so if you still have issues, Jason, with dating online, I'm telling you everywhere, I go big city, small cities, people are doing it, and they're finding luck. I would also say that you probably meet a lot of parents

right now. You probably meet a lot of, maybe you meet some single parents and maybe you meet very parents. I would say just practice your skills of talking to women, even if they're married, because a lot of times you're finding that you can't meet people, it's because you're not actually talking to anyone. And just being yourself being open, starting conversation, maybe this woman that you see

your kid's school, maybe she is married but she's got a sister who's great and you just got to let be known that you want to be fixed up and talked everyone you know and put it out there. So that's what I have to say. What do you think, Manas? I think yeah and we've talked about this before where change your routine, make sure you don't do the same thing every day. And then you meet other people. And I found it harder. I don't know why, but for single parents that are males, it's harder for them to find people than it is for a female.

I don't know why. Really? I see I find it a total opposite. Really? Yeah, you think that men with kids are a hard time dating. I know a lot of single moms, and I know a few single dads and the single dads are having trouble. Because women want their own kids. I don't know. I don't know. I don't have that problem. I mean, I don't, I feel like it's been, I've seen both. I've seen problems on both sides. Yeah. But you just got to find someone.

I mean, your kids are your bottom line issues, Jason. I mean, those are your kids. Those are the, well, you love and you've just, you've got to just be ruthless and you to find someone. I mean, your kids are your bottom line issues, Jason. I mean, those are your kids. Those are the, you love and you've just, you've got to just be ruthless and you will find someone who's totally down with you having kids. Maybe you'll find ideally someone who has kids of our own, but they're out there and you just have to look. And it's like what Manus has, what I say to everybody, like change your routine.

Like I know this all this sounds like kind of cliche, but have you taken a new class lately? Have you started doing something new, taken a different route to work? You know, talk, make yourself, force yourself to smile at a woman every day. Just smile. A cute woman you see walking on the street, you smile at her. I got asked out yesterday. Why this guy? Yeah. And I was going to say this because it was totally cool. I was in an audition. I do television commercials on the side. And I was doing an audition for a Cosplus television

commercial. And there was this really cute guy there and we were waiting in line for the audition and talking. And then he waited for me after, because I went in, he went in for his audition and then he waited for me outside. And he was like, hey, he was funny and he was cute. And he was like, hey, so let's go drink some time. And he was just like bold. I'm like, okay, here's my number. Even though I'm a mandatory, and I'm not dating, and I can't date him for 30 days, he was cute. And you know, who who knows I don't know But I just thought it was interesting that he just waited and he was bold and he saw me And he didn't let the opportunity pass and he asked me out right there

And I liked it and I gave my number But I don't even do it But he was cute. Yeah, that's a huge complain about I don't know where you It's kind of the confidence is that men just actually don't ask them out And I can't tell you that it's rare like I get hit on my man But the man that's just like give me your number hot. I like it. Go for it. I liked it and a little look if they say no You're not gonna die. You're not that's the thing and it just practice you got to practice your rejection muscles

You got to practice the muscles of asking somebody out But it might be your rejection muscle and it rolls off you after a while. And then you can more and more and more in your fine. And then going back to the online dating thing, like match and all this other stuff, the women on the women are on there because they want to meet other people to this FYI. Right. Exactly. That's what they're there. Exactly. And you can not there to hang out. No. And there was, you know, like my friend who had 200,000 Oh God, I know you made that I know you are honey my friend There's thousand views and it's only took her 10 years to find a guy exactly but exactly but she found a guy

She had like millions of views on her match pages. She found a guy. Okay. Let's move into sex in the news Sex in the news. We need a music for that menace Music we need a sex in the news we need a music for that Menace music we need a sex in the news music It's not some corny thing people want real I just went I tried to make my own song okay Donald Trump play blames golf for Tiger Woods sex addiction Trump has kind words for Jesse James Two At least one person has Tiger Woods back, and it's none other than Donald Trump.

Tiger's a friend of mine. I really like him a lot. The mogul said at Wednesday night's premiere of his show, and get this, Trump insists that Woods' sport is responsible for his indiscretions. I really think that there's this tremendous pressure you wouldn't understand from the world of golf. Woods isn't the only bad boy Donald is siding with.

He had very kind words for Sandra Bullock's wayward husband too. I know that Jesse I know Jesse James really well Trump said of his former celebrity apprentice co-star. He's a tough guy in Smart Guy, but Trump admitted he had a sneaking suspicion about the marriage to Bullock all along. I always wondered why he didn't bring Sandra on the show. I guess now we know. He never brought Sandra Bullock when he was on celebrity apprentice. He did not bring her around. Why? And he's saying that tiger woods there's pressure in golf that is making him cheat. Yeah, right.

The pressure is that there's so many women who... This thrown themselves. I know. And did you hear that he settled with his one of his girls? He settled with that Rachel, the first woman you came across for $10 million, they say. What settled... What? Settle what? I don't't know like the like liable maybe or like what is gonna be,

what is gonna be her reputation and paying for that kind of suffering. Suffering? What? $10 million? Okay, but here's the next article that just, I'll give her $10,000.

It's 10 million, dude. I, I'm not gonna say it. Dude. I'm not even gonna say what I was gonna say because it's so wrong. I would have gave her no money. Oh and Jesse James entered sex rehab. Great.

Yeah, so that's another one. So my next article is sex rehab, real therapy or a band aid for infidelity. All would appear to have had way much of a good thing. Tiger Woods, David Doe Company and now Jesse James. Unlike drug or alcohol addictions, the world depends on people having sex, but lately, what more celebrity husbands are finding out, like drugs and alcohol, things can get out of hand with sex, too. So they realize that this time, it's crucial to help himself as family and his savings

merit. That's what Jesse James says. But the most challenging part of being sex and rehab is that the environment is sex-free. You're not exposed to triggers, no, internet, erotic materials, access to anything that can trigger a rousal. It's about isolating and detaching someone from the triggers. But he thinks the success of recovery of sexual addiction recovery depends on whether the patient is able to let pass the physical aspects of sex. Now here's the key because everyone wants to know how you get over sex addiction. The key is that he needs to associate it with emotions, developing a bond and using sex as an expression, programming them to use sex as

intimacy, not as gratification. So a lot of times these guys are just having sex because they're like program and they're not emotionally attached at all to the sex, it's just like conquering, conquering, conquering. It could be ego building, it could be all these other things. So it says that we have a crisis in this country which many people feel their marriages are a source of stress, not strength, and we're half of marriages and in divorce. If you, if I think if you were Sandra Bullock, you would have to say to yourself, is this an addiction or is this my partner's character? So if an alcoholic or a drug addict, you'd stop and go cold turkey, but someone in sex

rehab has to return to sexual activity. So that's why it's so hard if you're like an alcoholic or a drug addict, you can walk away from drugs. But sex, you always gotta have sex. And so that's what they're dealing with. They're dealing with connecting. They have to learn cognitive behavioral therapy, how to have sex and to actually connect with a person and not to see it as a conquest.

Have you seen more and more lately, people are trying to counteract the whole sex addiction thing and saying it's not real? Yeah, totally. It's been more and More than news lately. Like it's not real. It's bogus. Well, that's what this says is it a band-aid for fertility sex They really a band, you know, I mean, it's like is it like oh, so cheated and I got caught if you didn't get caught Would you you know he wasn't seeking out sex addiction initially? He just got caught and that's what you do to save face It's almost like a joke right now that all these men in our culture are doing that. Now, I mean, I do know like I was in that movie,

I'm a sex addict, which people can rent. It's called I'm a sex addict. You can get it on Netflix or whatever actually acted in it. It was my acting debut. My first and last probably. But anyway, it's a really good movie. I have to say that the guy in the movie talks about sex addiction and how we got through it and it's I think you'll like it. So you should rent it. So that the guy in the movie talks about sex addiction and how he got through it and it's I think you'll like it So you should rent it so Because that's lots in the news right now. Okay, so the RNC the Republican National Committee They're in hot water right now over visit sex club and sex hotline. Did you hear about this? the ex-Suternic governor of Maryland Michael Steele

Had one problem and now he's got another first First there was a reimbursement of $2,000 he spent at a sex bondage club with topless dancers in California. And then there was a phone number attached to a letter he sent out to all of his Republicans raising money and the letter had the number of a phone sex, like a number to call, was like a phone sex number or something. So like there's all this sex play, it was a mistake. So there's like sex plaguing. They were probably going to be, but it said that he spent $2,000 of sex and bondage club and he denied it. So $2,000. That's probably nothing to them. How do you, yeah, but what do

you do at 2000? I guess a lot of lap dances. Yeah, I mean, like $600 in like an hour. When you did on lap dance is yeah, um Just years ago. Are you into that yo? No, I was I was working for a morning show and I was working really hard and we were doing really well So they wanted to take us to Las Vegas, but we missed our flight So like oh, we'll just stay here in San Francisco and we'll just go to some strip clubs And I was really really drunk and they're like I'll take you like I'll take them up to the To the VIP room and we went in like some elevator and went up there and I was so wasted

I couldn't even remember like the time and And then I go back down there like dude you spent $600. Oh my God. That's I think that's a lot of guys wake up in the morning With a $600 and Vegas that you kind of did that you kind of had a Well, I spent I spent like a $3,000 in Probably a day. Yeah, we men. We are seductive creatures. We just take your money. Yeah, you are brass and I don't like I don't fall for that kind of stuff. No sure You don't but in Las Vegas, they are really good right? Oh, they're really good to get your money and they're really hot Yeah, but I went to like a couple of them

But I got to this one club and the they were sweet talkers at this one Had a what they do what they say they would just like they actually dispent the time Just talking to you for a really long time because there's a like a lot of clubs up there They go are you interested and you go on now and then they're good sales people They just like they just turn they just turn around and they just leave Well, these chicks are like okay, whatever and they just hang in there get some Where are you going friends? Yeah, and then that's how they get your money. They were really good. Yeah Wow, that's awesome, but I I'm not a strippers as saleswoman. Yeah, I'm that's how they get your money. And they're hot. Yeah. Wow.

That's awesome. But I'm not a strippers of sales woman. I'm not a frequent strip club visitor. No, you're not. I don't see you that way. No. No. Okay.

So let's move into sex tips. The 50 how to sex tips. All women wish you knew I'm not getting through all of them right now. But I'm going to hit them in the sheer in the during the show. But we're just going to save you them now. The hottest word you can say to a woman in bed, ready? You say it often. It's a difference between that feels wonderful and you make me feel wonderful. There's a certain intimacy to you. Ego boost. Women love to be praised. We love to hear that you think we're hot. We don't want to hear

it once during sex. We want to hear it like three or four times. Tell us how we are before beginning after in the next morning and say you. Okay, explore new areas. Explore new regions. The base of her spine is sensation central. Gently stroke and kiss her belly just above the pubic hairline. Sex becomes about discovery, not a destination. You hear that? Everyone? It is not a destination. You're not trying to get there. Stop along the way and kiss her. Sensation central, the base of her spine. Got it? You writing this down? Okay, reference a magazine. Want to try something new and bad? Reference something sexy. You saw it on a magazine, like this list of tips, maybe. That way you can ask your partner. did you ever think of doing that without

Pointedly saying this is what I want. That's a good way to do it. Like I wrote this crazy thing in a magazine. This woman was giving me a blowjob. Would you ever give me a blowjob? Yeah. Going back to our blowjob talk. I think that would be awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Are you leaving laying out, you know, under the mail? Right through that. Come on. I don't know.

You could be like, oh, I was reading this thing in my men's health magazine. And it says this and that. Yeah, I think that that would be interesting. I would think that that was sexy. I would know what he was doing, but I would think that was cool that he wanted to try something new. And then he read something. All right.

Because sex is all about exploration and making the old and the regular sex routine new again. And by trying new things, that is how you do it. Master the stop start technique. Try it into a method of lasting longer and bad the stop start technique. Pay attention to when you're approaching your point of no return and then pause the action for while to calm yourself back down. That doesn't mean flip on the TV. Instead, lavish attention on her for a few minutes to bring her closer to your point of a rouse

all. So if you're getting there and you feel like you're going to go, this is kind of a known thing, right? You stop men if you're about to go and she hasn't gone yet, you can stop. You just because you started, I've exact this is the thing that men are afraid that it's not going to finish. You can like pull out and still do other things and then go back in. That's what we're saying. Stop. I think that's a good technique. It is.

Gotta pay attention to what the women want to. Go slower for a faster response. If your girlfriend takes a long time to reach orgasm during oral sex, don't go faster. It won't help her reach orgasm any more quickly. Instead, slow it down. The gentler, slower and more consistent you are, the quicker it will arrive. I think that's true. I think it's good to be slow. And you're going to wear yourself out. Yeah, slow down. Mix it up. But generally speaking, if women are listening, you don't agree with me,

or I would love to hear from women, what is the thing during oral sex that makes them like just go over the edge, feed back at sex with Emily.com, we'd all love to hear that. Right, Menace? Yes. Okay, break up, don't cheat. Most of them would rather have you break up with them than cheat. It's not really a sex tip. That's just, this one I love, this is why I love these.

Hug her from behind. She loves it when you hug her from behind and whisper in her ear. That is my favorite thing in the whole world is when a guy comes up behind me and hugs me. Am I such a sap? I love that. It's something really intimate and really sexy and really primal. I love that.

So, okay, we got through a few of them. Yes. All right, thanks everyone for listening. That was a good little show there. Yeah, you enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Yes, I did. I had a really good time.

And now that I listen to the shows, I know it goes down here. All right, I did. I had a really good time. Now that I listened to the shows, I know it goes down here. All right. Yeah, so thanks everyone for listening. Check out our podcasts, sexwithamily.com, or on iTunes, you can download them or through stitcher.com. A lot of people listening through Stitcher,

you download the app to your smartphone, any smartphone, and you can listen to it. And Matt Menace, you were doing that weren't you? Yeah, I'll give them a plug, even though they're not a sponsor. Sprint is starting to low me some phones. Just try out their demos, and I was listening, I downloaded it on Android, and I was listening to the show right before her.

We started the show. That's really cool. Yeah, it literally took me less than two minutes. It's so easy. All the shows are there. Yeah, it's so cool. And then speaking of advertisers, mixchicks.net, a curl defining system designed for us, whether you're Black, white, Asian, Latin, Mediterranean, or any combination of the above, you'll

love the way these non-sticky, lightweight products. Leave your hair and wedding to touch as they define and lack moisture in every curl mixchicks.net. If you want to advertise on the show, you can email me feedback at sexualtom.com. You can check out our PayPal button if you want to donate, and that's what I got for you. We'll be back next week with a guest in the studio or surprise guest. Thanks for listening to the show.

Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithmly.com. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Remember, your biggest sex organ is your brain. So learn something new to do that. Click on the Sinclair Institute ad on my website and check out their adult sex education DVDs, sex toys, adult DVDs, and other sex products. You'll save 50% on any Sinclair item when you put an Emily 50 at checkout.

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