Sex With Emily - SWE: Porn Galore

Episode Date: May 9, 2012

Is porn an ally or an enemy in your relationship? Emily talks about what you should and shouldn't take away from porn videos, and how to apply this knowledge to your sex life.Separate bedrooms are making American sex better, or at least keeping guys from farting around their girlfriends. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes Then the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betruma eyes they call them a lie God Hey, Evelyn you got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken He thinks you're kind of cute the girls got every standup

Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, though? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here.

So, I'm going. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and all that stuff in between. What's going on? All that stuff in between. I was just trying to change it up. I'm tired of saying the same thing.

I'm just afraid that there might be stuff in between that I don't want. In between sex and relationships? Yeah. There's tons of stuff in between. No. When you say in between, I think the legs in between the legs. When you say that.

Oh. No. I just meant all that. I always say sex relationships and everything in between. So I just wanted to change it up and say all that stuff in between Okay, you just think legs. I think legs and then I think maybe there might be some dungeon is down there, you know I don't know where your brain goes. Yeah, my brain is All over the place Jesus Christ you're gonna be on television is all over the place. Jesus Christ, you're gonna be on television.

Soon. Soon. Yeah, we're gonna be on TV. I watched the show, it's really good. Everyone's gonna freak out. It's gonna be on Broadway TV. It's called Misadvised and Menace is in it way too much. No, no.

He's awesome. Menace is awesome in it. I was nothing but a sweetheart, the whole taping. Yeah, Menace was a jerk to me, which is why they love them. It was awesome. No. But you gotta see it. I can't really talk about it But it was it it's pretty cool and so I was filming all weekend It was so beautifully heard and just going I was filming in my apartment with the windows taped shot

And it was 90 degrees and I live on the top floor. I was sweating my ass off. We haven't even talked Since the weekend. I know right right because yesterday I couldn't do the show. Yeah. Yeah. What happened? I went to a dot com party. Oh right. I talked to it was a fun. Maybe before you went. It was fun. It was open bar. And you know me. Love the open bar. Love the open bar. I take advantage of the open bar. Yeah. Sure you do. I'm like the old lady that goes to the buffet with the plastic wrap in her purse. And I just put you know some food items in there. Would you bring it? Wanted to open bar.

Do you bring like a thermos? No. I just you know drink as much as I can and the problem is problem is I didn't really look too hard at the bottles and they were serving Jose Cuerva, the brown tequila. You know me. Oh, you're being brown tequila. You know me. I always say go with the clear.

Go with the clear. Go with the clear. I drink too much brown to Kila and the party ended at midnight and then my buddy was at a bar that was down the street and he know me hey you know you're not your right mind you should go home right you should go no you should not go out I went to the bar and I drank a lot more you Did you get sick? I started getting sick. And then so I go outside and these girls are like leaving this like trendy nightclub that's around the corner. South of the market somewhere. Yeah.

And they're all dressed to the nine, you know, whatever. And but they didn't have no ass. They're like, they had like flat asses and I'm drunk and they kind of like snag my cab. So I'm drunk and I'm sorry. Oh God, menace, when you get drunk and you've slammed our women, what did you say? I was like, is that the flat ass cab? Is that the cab for only women with flat asses? As you're like barfing in the alley and what they say, they didn't say anything, but they could hear me because I was like five feet away and all their windows were rolled

down in the cab. And I was like, I away and all their windows were rolled down in the cab And I was like I was just going off on how Oh my god men this is so my cab bitches. You better stop drinking so much and getting sick in an alley You see that's why I stay home because if I go out again trouble you know me you just gotta say you're just an alcoholic and you have to I'm not an alcoholic. Okay, not alcohol. I can I can it doesn't take alcohol to me does not taste good me neither That's why I don't drink I don't drink it every day. I Just you know wait till the weekends and then you can say I go hard on the weekends. Yeah, you do you bid drink I know it's fun and I'm going to Vegas the next two weekends. Oh my god

I know I'm so sad you leaving this Friday this Friday. I'm out. Oh my God. That's so fun You're gonna have a blast and I have been This freaking out over being on television freaking out over being on television because there's a lot of stuff that is revealed and I've been freaking out about that And I was shooting all weekend, but I've been listening to some old shows men It's because we're you know reminiscing reminiscing just live going back and shows and there's been some interesting stuff Like the time that you got engaged. That was a good time. That was cool.

Yeah, listen to that. Um, and there, yeah, that's been fun. So I got a call last night. So today's show we're going to be talking about porn. And it was inspired by a phone call I got last night by a friend of mine who said, my sister is about to break up with her boyfriend because she caught him watching porn and I thought aren't we sort of move through this that we all understand that a lot of men just watch porn it doesn't mean that he wants you to you know be that certain way just the guys watch porn because that's how they get off that's what you don't watch

porn yeah but men you know you say with most your friends watch porn because that's how they get off. That's what they do. You don't watch porn. Yeah. But you know what you say with most of your friends watch porn? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys watch porn. And it reminded me of like the story of when I was, you know, in my 20s and I was dating this guy. I was by like 23 and I found he watch porn. And I was devastated because I thought it means it. I'm not satisfying him that I'm not enough for him.

And I think that the fact that this still goes on, I thought we should do some explaining about porn, porn for couples, what we can learn from porn and what we can't learn from porn. Because there's a lot of guys, especially now who learn, like younger kids growing up, they learn what to do by watching porn, not necessarily the right messages. So we're going to talk about what you can and what you can learn. And we've got some emails. You are big into supporting the porn watching.

And then understanding that men have to watch it. I understand the men have to watch it. It's a separate thing. They might be have had the best sex of life. In fact, I think the men who've been better sex sometimes want more, like they want to watch porn more because they're more turd on or, but it's only a problem when it becomes an addiction.

And when that happens is when it starts to take over your life, you can't go to work, it's ruining your relationships. That's when it's a problem. But otherwise, healthy porn watching, I'm not saying that there aren't some harmful things about porn, but we're gonna get into all that today. For real. For real.

And how crazy is it? We just had a little reminiscing right now. Oh my God, I wish she was, what was he here? He, Corey, who was actually, crazy is it we just had a little reminiscing right now. I wish he was what what was he here? He was for me. Corey who's actually what that he was helping run the radio station that we met at. It's six years ago. Yeah, so he decided to podcast here at Citro2. It's called cluster F.

Oh, he's he's recording it. Yeah, so he's a host. Yeah, so you record that he's doing it with his friend named Steve. Okay. His friend Steve doesn't like me. Why? Because we're like going back and forth on Twitter. Because we work for different companies.

Oh, is he the one who was like telling, like saying mean things about you? I know, that's like a couple of people. They're always saying mean things about me on Twitter. Oh my God. So I see you on television. Oh yeah, they have a lot more ammo to talk about me. But you know, I totally support them. They should, you stitcher. We recorded the stitcher studios. It's an app that you can download for free

It's awesome and there's a lot of great podcasts on the app, so right, but you know We are the number one podcast on the we are the number one podcast are we and if we're not make us the number one Pop time friends just download the app. It's free and you just search sex with them. STITCHER. Correct. Correct. Correct, though. Okay, so we have some sex in the news today.

All right. Okay, yogurt. Good for your bowels. Good for your sex life. I don't like talking about bowels typically. You hate talking about cocka. I know. MIT scientists studying the power of probiotics to fight obesity get more than they bargained for

Not only does yogurt make mice slimmer. It also makes them sexier. Why is everyone on this yogurt kick lately? Greek yogurt It's amazing. Yeah male mice fed a supplement of yogurt It's much shinier thicker coats than their junk food eating siblings But shiny for wasn't the only thing that's at the yogurt eating mice apart. They were also slimmer in the males had swagger with testicles that were 5% bigger than their counterparts. And 15% bigger those mice had junk food out, a junk food diet. The female mice that a yogurt even shinier than the males tend to be better moms to their large litters, and they think it's all about probiotics and it's so funny because I've been hearing so much about probiotics and it's just you can take probiotic pill and it's just to help with everything and I eat a

lot of Greek yogurt myself. I don't know. You don't have to Greek yogurt? No, no, no, I mean I'll eat it. What if your testicles all of a sudden got 15% bigger? Would you want them to be bigger? No, I'm good. You need to get new clothes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just, I don't know. There's always a new health craze. Remember I was telling you that there was the African mango that makes you like 20 pounds lighter in a month? Yeah, it was a real, what happened to that? No, it's like you can buy it. It's like it's 100% natural, it's crazy.

But I don't know because like when I was like just like banging all the time, I was still eating, I was still like in high school 10 years ago. No, no, no, not too long. Okay, okay. Like six years ago when I was really in shape, it was just, I wasn't eating that. I was still eating like a lot of junk food,

but all I was doing was eating less carbs, and I was working out a lot. And I felt better. How many years ago was that when I met you? Six years ago, yeah. And then after I met you, it's all downhill. It wasn't because of me. I can't even say an upstray, I hunch over,

I gain 65 pounds. Did you gain how much did you gain? I'm probably like 50. Wow. Yeah, no. You can only gain? I probably like 50. Wow. Yeah, no. You can only lose it. It's crazy. Whatever.

Okay, you look great, honey. Thank you. Okay, another effect of the recession. I'm just gonna tan. Just tan around. Keep talking about the freaking tan. I'm gonna buy you a tan in this. I'm obsessed with like being pain.

Why don't you just buy gulk tanning before you go to Vegas so you can do that? No, I'll just burn it up. Are you gonna lay out by the pools and do stuff like that in Vegas, or is it all work? It's all drinking. That's all it is. Just drinking and gambling.

Okay, that sounds like a good time. I barf like 17 times on Sunday, like I can even move. Oh, because of the tequila. Yeah, I've all the tequila. You barf 17 times in your partner. I swear, God, and I feel bad because my bathroom is right next to my door. So I know, I know that the people in my apartment building could hear me this.

Oh my God. I'm like, I'm loud as you. I've never thrown up from drinking a mind higher life. What? Not once. I have a friend that claims that too. It's true. I've never thrown up.

Have you ever thrown up? A few like twice in my life and being sick. What I'm not a thoroughbar. I'm a fear of Fe learning up. It may sounds just seems disgusting. I've barfed dumpsters. I know I'm sure you you could fill the whole every dumpster In San Francisco with the barf that you just did probably last weekend But I have that's just menace. Please be careful and Vegas. don't end up in jail no i am wanted in a couple states i know you are uh... another effect of the recession there's a sex toy boom

love to hear that uh... recession is led to a boost in the sales of sex toys is more more couples opt for indoor fun with three quarters of british women now owning one global sales of vibrators and other sex toys stored to 8.9 billion a year and are set to rise to 64 billion by 2020 matching those of smartphones. The causes of the boom include changing attitudes

of sex toys while wider availability and celebrities being open about their sex life. Flores of sales can be seen every time a famous celebrity gives a big interview about their sex life or the law of sex toys. I think it's Walgreens. I'm putting it down on Walgreens right now that they're- Right, they just sell the Cochrane.

No, they got like the sex wedge. They got all those supposed back massagers or really vibrators. They- I think they're the ones that are leading the revolution in maybe sex toys becoming mainstream maybe i know someone who's selling like loob aloo to to wall green starting soon but i didn't know i think there's a lot of the ones man they're doing it maybe you could buy my wall greens but speaking of sex toys today's show is brought to you by adamanye 50% off most items for limited time and you pick out three adult

DVDs with your order. You can pick out any DVD that you want, porn, sexy, whatever, how-to's, which we're going to get into later, and you use coupon code Emily at checkout. Oh my God, I think I, you were talking about the other day, or I was just out of my mind. But, you know, they used to really be big into promoting the Kim Kardashian. Right. Orn DVD, have you been seeing what's been floating around the old ladies? Yeah, that's hilarious. So if people don't know, do you believe I've seen it? There's this, I do not believe that you see it.

Do you think it's real? Probably, in turn. No, I saw an interview with the old ladies last night on that trip of the first time. Yeah, they're hilarious. Actually, you're really funny. Are they all good friends? They're sisters. All of them? Yeah, so we got to Actually, really funny. Are they all good friends? They're sisters. The three of them?

Yeah, so we've got to talk more. Oh my God, that's so awkward. Okay, tell them we're talking about. There's this video where three older women, they have to be in their late 60s, probably. Late 60s, yep. And it's just a reaction video. There's a camera set up and they're looking at a laptop

and they're all watching the Kim Kardashian sex tape. Right. And it's just hilarious that they're like their comments on the video. Yeah, they're like, oh my god, did she do that? Oh, God, she's so, that's big. Yeah, she's really good at that. She's good. What should she put her mouth all the way down there?

Oh, my, it's hilarious. So I probably would Google or get on YouTube and type in old ladies watch Kim Kardashian sex tape Yeah, it's hilarious. Yeah, my friends said to me. I laughed. I saw it. I thought I felt like I was I know I know I know I meant to bring it up so that you know how being part of internet memes. I like the medium I like the internet. Okay, so separate bedrooms spice up sex life. I saw this and I was so, I so agree. I totally agree. I don't like anybody. I think couples, I know.

You don't even cuddle. It's just so hot, man. It's hot. It's not hot. My apartment, the windows face, the go-and-go bridge and the sun just beams in. Even if it's like cool outside, it's kind of hot. Right. My apartment. But you never like to cuddledling even in your old apartment. I don't want no

Bitches laying up all up on me and give me a chance. I can't sleep when it's hot right after like for 10 minutes Coddle 10 minute out 10 minutes long and 10 minutes and turn that a long time to cuddle We've been barely doing this radio show today over 10 minutes. It doesn't seem like it's been longer than that. So imagine seeing there for 10 minutes. You just gotta find chicks you don't like to cuddle because I am such a codler like it's my,

I'd rather cuddle that sex. No, no, see, the thing is I should say that on record, but sometimes I'd rather cuddle than have sex. Wow. Well, that's a lot of women. record but sometimes I'd rather cuddle than have sex. Wow. Yeah. Well, that's a lot of women. But the thing is, I could just imagine being with a woman that doesn't want to cuddle.

I think that I'd be, no, I think I'd be kind of, oh, she doesn't want to cuddle. Oh, really? Yeah, so it's kind of a double-edged sword. Oh, so she was just like, just like, gotta go or or what would be. Yeah, gotta bang, gotta, then she still's like, oh, this, this bezy doesn't care about me.

I'll call somebody who wants me. You want a, you want a, you want a, you want a, you want a, you want a, you want a, you want a, rejector. Yeah. That's sweet, man. See, that's totally like a woman thing to do. That's a chick thing.

Yeah. Like, I want them to want me, but I don't really want them. Yeah. I want every guy to like me and I want them to want to do this. Yeah. See, that's probably why, you know, I have some of those female tendencies because I grew up with my mom since I was six years old.

I know you do. Yeah, you're very sensitive and sweet, honey. Okay, separate bedrooms. So here's the deal. Does time apart help keep the fire stoked? American couples seem to think so as a national homebuilder's association can attest. So since 2007, there's been a marked uptick in construction of an on-demand for separate master bedroom bathroom

suites as couples and fans of your home seem to be embracing mystery as an essential component of sustained romance and love. Keeping a separation between your sex life and annoying personal rituals is a way to preserve that original environment from which the love and passion sprang. When nudity and bathroom activity becomes commonplace, it can be humdrum rather than sexy.

This is fucking brilliant. I saw this on Twitter and I was like, this is amazing because here's a deal. The thing that we find hot is the nudeness of a relationship. Then you see your partner taking a dump and you're like, that's no longer hot or they're rockin' and they're making other pissing or whatever, picking a pee. Does this happen to you guys are very open about their farts after they've been with you for a while? Some guys have been and some guys aren't,

but you know my last few guys have not been, and I appreciate that. You're the starters. No, but they've been not open about it. And I think that's fine. I think all the couples listening right now, if the sex has gone, the sexiness has gone on to your relationship,

it's because you are taking dumps in front of each other, you're spending too much time together, you're walking around naked, there's no mystery. And the thing that makes sex hot and maintains it and keeps the romance going is keeping that mystery. So I think getting separate bedrooms, you can afford it in your house, you're building a new house right now

or you're whatever, even maybe you've set up apartments, makes sense. So you would love that separate. I mean, this guy that I've been dating, I've been dating a few months, I closed the door and I go to the, I'm like, I don't want that, I don't care how long I've been. I don't care, I don't care, I'm gonna get the 15 years.

You better be closing that door, I don't wanna see that crap. You don't wanna see that crap with the crap and you don't wanna see, even the naked part, like getting naked and it just still, it takes away the excitement of it. I'm just saying that I've been saying this for years, and Woody Allen actually lived in separate homes from me, a Pharaoh in his marriage,

or he did end up sleeping with her daughter. That was a bad side effect of that. But however, he was one of the first to did that. That's insane. Well, the daughter part was bad, but this separate homes worked so bad. Until he did that. So, oh yeah part was bad, but this separate home's work's bad. Except for home until he did that. Oh, yeah.

That's a really good example. It's a bad example. This is a terrible example. Well, maybe it should be... That's not an example, it's better with a more talk. Did the Brady Bunch, did the Brady Bunch, they have separate beds? Several beds, I think. Were they in the same bed?

Mike and Carol. Yeah. But then the dad ended up being gay. That's a bad example, too. And you're likely ended up being gay. So that's a bad example too. And you're likely ended up being gay. But now the Brady Bunch was a gay. No. I loved the Brady Bunch.

Did you love the Brady Bunch? I love the Brady Bunch. The mom was sleeping with Greg. Greg, yeah. That's crazy. I don't know. I think just a few times they slept together. That was cool.

I loved the Brady Bunch. I was obsessed. Okay. Yeah. cool. I loved the Brady Bunch. I was obsessed. Okay. Porn city USA Orlando tops list of smut friendly cities. Orlando, of course, it's all a bunch of old people living there now. And then they have nothing else to do. Yeah, with Disney World and Universal Studios just around the corner, it would appear that Orlando residents are in dire need of an adult entertainment

source. And the relentless searching is put Orlando at the top of the list of America's porn craving cities. Men's Health Magazine drew from stats based on the amount of X-ray DVD, X-rated DVDs, purchase rent that are streamed. Number of adult entertainment sources, porn searches on Google's and cinema exorbitant housing households. So here we go. The most porn friendly cities are Orlando Las Vegas Wilmington Delaware

uh-huh Raleigh North Carolina say there's palm springs in there now damn it Minneapolis Anchorage Alaska and Tampa. Yeah. The least friendly cities. Jackson, Mississippi, Baton Rouge, Lubuck, Texas, Toledo, Ohio, and Fargo, North Dakota. North Dakota, well, the kingdom get internet out there. I would think it's somewhere in California, like I know that's true.

That's how I would be. Yeah, I know. I was digging Palm Springs because Palm Springs is kind of similar to a land of Florida with the other people there and there's like it There's a huge gay population there too because I wanted to share a story that I was staying with some friends and One of the houses next door was an old gay man and he couldn't figure out to hook hook up his computer to his plasma television so we can watch porn. So I would actually help an old gay man hook up it's like you watch porn. Yeah. Yeah. And uh, in Palm Springs. Yeah. That's so funny. See,

I'm like, Hey, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm a good guy. I'm a good. I know, but I don't understand why you don't like we're gonna just later or why you don't like porn. Because I want to actually have sex with somebody. That's why. You can't always. Yeah, the same thing with me with strip clubs. I don't want to go strip clubs. I have a lot of that for DeVitory.

I'd rather spend $20 on a movie. Well, you can't even go to a movie for $20. Can you not? How much are movies? I haven't been to a movie. It'll be at least 25 bucks. So I'd rather spend 30 bucks. Yeah, no, no, no, for two, because you're a guy,

you gotta pay. So let's say I'd rather pay $30 on a chance of taking some girl to the movies and then I'll be sleeping with her, then knowing that I'm gonna go spend all this money for sure at the club and not sleep with that person. Unless, you know, I spend a lot of money, then I'll sleep with them and then I'll probably get.

Then you wouldn't want that right? Then I'll probably get some Dungeoness, then. Yeah. You feel me? I feel you, man. I feel you. Okay, well, we've got some emails now. Yes.

Next, we're going to be getting into porn. But thanks everyone for emailing us at feedback. It's sexwithelmie.com. We love hearing from you. Love hearing from the peeps. And we just love it. Morning, Emily. Just want toeps, and we just love it. Ha ha ha. Morning, Emily, just wanna say thank you for a nice podcast.

I just got to sex podcast and came across yours. The first one I heard was finger techniques and I was floored. Wow. Here's a little bit about me. I'm Polish and married to a hot, poor, poor, Puerto Rico women for 15 years. Our sex life is great,

but it could always use improvement. Well, I used your advice about G-Spot, and I never heard my wife scream so loud in my life. I'm hooked on your podcast. It's amazing. Thanks again, Bart from South Jersey. He gave his wife a screaming G-spot orgasm because of our show. That is why I am on the planet. That's why exists in the universe. You just get on. You get emails like this in the morning. I just just came in and it made my day. You get off on other people's orgasms. I do. And I can barely have one of my own. No, I can. But without the rock box.

I haven't used the rock box yet, but you want to know it's embarrassing. The entire camera crew was in my house the other day. And it fell. I put all my sex toys away because they were filming in my house. And I put it on top of my washer dryer with the storages, whatever. And it just fell down in the middle of the day, the rock box. It's huge. You should see it. It is a power tool. It's got a cord that is like the longest sex toy cord you've ever seen plugs into the wallet We're talking about the hot rock box, which is the strongest vibrator on the planet I'm afraid to use it. I'm afraid for women to use it. I don't think my vagina is gonna fall off

Yeah, I'm gonna blow out your vagina. I'm gonna blow out my vagina. Blow out your vagina. You don't want that to happen But um, oh speaking of blowing out my vagina, the next email, dear Emily, I love your show. My sex life has been so much better since I started listening to your show, especially with my discovery of the Hattachi Magic Wine. Oh, your favorite. That was the reigning strongest vibrator until the rock box. Anyway, I recently started talking to my boyfriend about his fantasies and found out that he has a bondage submission fantasy where I would be

the submissive one. It doesn't seem like something I'd be into, but I'm trying everything at least once. When I told him I'd be open to trying it, he said I wouldn't like it because I don't like having my head pushed down during oral, but that hasn't deterred me. I don't know about this kind of sex play,

so I was hoping you would have some suggestions for me and try this out for the first time. Also, if I find that I'm not into it, what would that mean for a relationship? Is it possible to have a successful relationship? If I'm not able to satisfy this desire, he has. Thanks so much, Leah from Reno Nevada. She's a premium member.

Okay. So I think that, okay, so submission can mean so many things. First of all, I think that's hot that he wants to be submissive. I would love a guy to say like, I just want to dominate you, because that's more common than the woman being dominated in the man. And just because she doesn't like, you don't like having your head pushed down during oral sex, because we always talk about the infamous head push when a guy pushes your head down there.

Maybe you can get into it and just know that he's doing it because it turns him on and you can just kind of change your mindset that he's not doing it to be degrading. He just wants to have a blowjob and think so be happy pushes your head down there. That's one thing. But be clear about the kind of bond that you want and you want to expect how much struggle how much struggle you want and attempt to escape and how much you want to be free. So how much struggle and attempt to escape? So you need like, say for it. So how far does he want to go? I would say start out very slow. Like maybe he ties your arms together,

blindfolds you. I mean, there's ways to be submissive and not totally like him pushing you around and doing all the stuff. So I would say the first time you do it, you just explore it, you don't do a hundred different moves, you do one or two different things. It's not always easy for your dominant partner to know how it feels to you. So don't be afraid if your skin is pinching or he's hurting you in any way, you should have a safe word. Safe words are very important. What would your safe word be? Toccos? I was just gonna say chicken, and I don't know why. Really? Chicken.

Chicken. You're just not sexy. Yeah, mine would be tacos, and I would orgasm. You should be double-decker, double-decker, taco. The double-decker for a alarm. I know. You keep writing about that in your Facebook Live.

1997, it got discontinued by Taco Bell, and I want to bring it back. I bet you could bring it back. I'm trying. I'm trying. But it's funny that you're bringing this up because I was watching television last night, as I always do. And we brought this up on the show.

The craze right now is 50 shades of gray. Uh-huh. 50 shades of gray. And the whole, and I don't condone this because the whole time that we've been doing the show together, I've been trying to promote women need to be more aggressive. And the guys need to be more submissive.

But this Fittie Shade of Grey is all about the girl being. Submissive. I gotta read it. My bookstore just called me and they have it for me because it was sold out. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fittie Shade of Grey calling him mommy porn. She gets tied up. the book store just called me and they have it for me because it was sold out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were going in the same

and calling it mommy porn, she gets tied up, she gets, so I just, yeah, what were they saying about was like a new story on it? Well, it was just saying like the whole, like focus of the book is, the, she's a very powerful woman in, in life, but in the bedroom, she's submissive to this guy. Right.

And then that's what their, the fancies are. Right, exactly. But the guys that want to be dominated by the woman, see, you guys just can't, come on. Some guys want to be dominated, but you want to be dominated. But you don't want to be dominated. But I want them to take it. I want them to take it.

Yeah, I want them to initiate. Yeah, yeah. But I would say that, I think it's, first of all, I want to say that I think it's awesome that you started talking to your boyfriend about his fantasies, and we always talk about that in the show. That's one of the most important things you should talk about. But I think that you say that you're not into being submissive, but you might be like, if you've never done it, I would just try to like clear your mind of all expectations,

establish a safe word, and hopefully you won't be too rough with you the first time, but you might actually find that you like it if you don't like it, you tried it, but you got to just try it, and then I would try out one of your sex fantasies next, tell them what really turns you on. Yeah, you want to be one of the McDonald's characters dressed up as the hamburger. Hamburger. Yeah, that's what you want to do for your man. Exactly.

I would like to dress up as a hamburger, and another thing I for bondage that I would just like to say is that I love bondage tape. I just got to know how I love bondage tape. It looks like electrical tape. You don't need any special knots or tying or wires or things. You don't like anything complicated. Exactly. Yeah.

It's the easiest thing in the world. It sticks together and you can buy it at Adam and Eve. You can buy it at good vibrations. GV Emily 15 and you use 15 for 15% up anything from good vibes.com. I just got my binded tape there. So, um, don't again, don't be afraid tell them what you don't, what you want, such as if you've got pinch skin or unexpected discomfort as soon as you notice them and get a safe word.

I don't know what your safer to be. I need a better safe word than chicken. Chicken Parmesan? No, no. Yours has to be sexy. Mine would just be involving food. Mine would be tough. What is my safe word? Taco Bell.

That would be mine. That's hot. Oh my god, I'm about to work as him. Okay. Yours would be about to orgasm. Okay. Uh, yours would be, uh, vagina. Vajagir. Because you hate that. You hate vagina. Are you on board with vagina now? Yeah, I like what do you hate me saying the most other than everything that comes out of my mouth? Was it something that really bothered you? That I said. Oh, thank you.

I was waiting for vagina. I don't like the word vagina, which I use all the time, but it's not pretty the vagina badge. I don't like that. That's sexy. I don't like when people say, um, what does Oprah say like your? Pajaje, I hate Pajaje. J.J.

Ew, I hate the Vajaje. Uh, what are the words, don't I like? I think he was mostly the job. Commitment. Commitment. Oh. I hate Commitment. Why am I so bad at Commitment?

Can't even commit to lunch. I didn't know why she could have died coke or a mountain dew, I didn't get anything. Are you sure? The mountain dew is delicious. I know, Alex, got it. Did you drink it all? Yeah. Are you serious? The Mountain Dew is delicious. I know, it looks good. Did you drink it all? Yeah.

Is it all gone? Yeah. It's like goat piss, it's delicious. Ew. Why is it like goat piss? I don't know. I don't know. Because it's a mountain, it's supposed to be in the mountains

and there's plants and there's tea. Oh, grody. Okay. It looks like goat piss. Okay, you're right. It's delicious, I love it. It's delicious, so okay, let's move into our topic. It's a porn show.

We're talking about porn. Porn, really? Pornography. Alright. What is your favorite pornography? Emily Morris. I don't have a favorite porn. I'm not a big porn watcher. I don't have... Even though I have 20,000 porn at home and that my fire TV porn box, I don't have a favorite porn. Oh, let me ask you this. This was a good topic that was brought up. We're gonna go back real quick to the three old ladies that watched the Kim Kardashian since they-

Right. We should post it on the website. They were actually, they were fighting with each other over the fact, is it a porn? And- In the video they were? Is the video that was put out was that a porn? And like half of the, there's only three of them, but like two of them were like, no,

these are two people making love, which I don't really think they're making love, but there are two people, there are a couple having sex. It was not a porn that taped each other. Right. So what's like the definition of porn? I mean, I believe a porn, yeah, is people that are getting like hired to do sexual acts. Kim Kardashian and Ray J. We're not hired to do this. I mean, eventually they ended up-

I mean, pornography is just when you're making a sec when you're having sex on film. So that is a porn ode that they put on? Yeah, I think that's pornography. Yeah, I think that's pornography. Yeah, I think that's a form of pornography. Yeah, did you know the concept of pornography was invented in Victorian times and defined as something separate, different, and lured pertaining to prostitutes? We still keep some of these ideas about porn for better or for worse.

Since the 1800s, every new medium of communication has been involved in spreading pornography, to where it's now a $15 billion a year industry in the United States alone. Hell yeah. Like every mean of communication like the VCR you know nothing. There's nothing out there. They can think of. They can think of. They can think of.

They can think of. They can think of. They can think of. They can think of. They can think of. They can think of. They can think of. They can think of. They can think of. They can think of. I never have you porn you go to porn the best one. I don't know You don't want to buy this one. I don't you ever watch porn though like aren't you ever like no? I I'm involved with the website. I'm a member of a website where people consider porn I know I mean there's no sexual acts being done, but I'm friends with the

Memorile is talking about the suicide girls. Yeah, there's naked girls on there. Do you consider that porn? No one's banging each other. I mean, some of the girls are making out. I mean, that's a really a question. I do think it's okay. Let me tell you this. Is playboy porn? Or is playboy artistic photos of women naked? It's pornography. It's pornography? Yeah, and overall, photos of women naked. It's pornography. It's pornography? Yeah, and overall, yeah, it falls under the umbrella of pornography.

I consider whatever it is, sexual acts pornography. Because if you saw an art gallery, a naked woman in black and white looking away from the camera, you would think it's a piece of art. You wouldn't think it was porn. Right. But why is a magazine? Why is that porn then? I consider it really. It's crazy, because it's a piece of art you wanna think it was porn. Right, but why is a magazine? Why is that porn then?

I consider it really. It's crazy, because it's more, you know, there's like, there's like penthouses. There's no come shots in in Playboy, but like, penthouses. No, it's like I'm dripping down a breast in the picture. That is not in Playboy, they don't have that in Playboy.

They don't? No. I haven't looked at Playboy in years. There's no come shots in Playboy. Okay, well, Jesus, H. Well, but don't you think, no, and I don't? No. I haven't looked at Playboy in years. There's no cum shot in Playboy. Okay, well, Jesus, H. Well, but don't you think, no, and I don't think, no, really? Yeah.

I don't know that. I haven't watched Look at Playboy in years. You bet, I don't consider it. I just look at the center, my dad used to get it. Yeah, I think it's a double standard. When I come to photos of women that are naked, they're just because they're on the internet

or versus them, the photos hanging up in an art gallery. I think it's a total double standard because I believe it's the same, F and thing. Sexual acts, that is pornography. I think that pornography is anything that if you develop as a tool for people to get off. Dude, people are going to masturbate to the black and white photo in the art gallery of the woman naked yesterday. I'm not going to splooge all over an art gallery.

A man is going to take that image and his head and he's going to take it home and let her something. Right, maybe, maybe, maybe. Some people would call that porn though. And they would say it's pornography then. Okay, do that. It's all porn. No, that's a very good, very interesting. There's a lot of call that porn though. And they would call it pornography then. Okay, do that. It's all porn. No, that's a very good, very interesting. There's a lot of things that are debated.

Anything. It's a rot of cup versus pornography, like versus, you know. All right, anything that involves somebody being naked, you say is porn. No matter what. No, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that the photo and the gallery is, I don't know, I don't want to go there right now.

My head hurts. I'm going to get through. Oh, no well. Okay. Email us feedback at sex. Ellen.com or tweet. Twitter. Twitter. Yeah, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex. Dominique and you can find menace and all those places white menace. Yes.

And that's a that's a very good debate. I would like to see what people have to say about that. Yeah. Is playboy porn. I mean, that's pretty much the easiest way to, uh, Playboy magazine is pornography. No, it's not. It's not. I mean, people, there's no penetration. There's no, there's no come shots. Like you might think there is. There's no. That's right. Yeah.

I used to like pen house. I'm sure you did. Because when we're pinnum bowls and stuff, um, there was women or what? I used to like the deer, the was a child. I'm sure you did, because when we were peeing in bowls and stuff. There was women or what? I used to like the deer, that was in playboy, the erotica. When they would do the playboy letters, like he came in and he, you know. Now is that porn?

There's no photos of us. It's for erotica. They call it erotica. That's not pornography, like, this putting images in your head. I should know all this. That's why I don't know the exact answer. Or rotica versus porn, like it's written.

Yeah, but is this a weird definition of porn? Yeah, let's look it up. Let's see if it's even online. It's rotica porn. I don't know. I believe that is actually more porn than Playboy is. Really? Because this is actually like it's building an image in your head of a sexual act. That's pornography. I think it's a very loose definition. All right.

Hold on, I'm searching. Is playboy pornography? Distinction is often made between a lot of good pornography. All right. Distinction may be between erotic and pornography. Okay. Again, I am right as always. Okay, right. No, it's a depiction of erotic behavior. So the woman in the black and white photo is not doing anything erotic perhaps.

There's important points objective is to graphically depict sex. Oh, I can't get on the mic. People can't hear you. This is intern Steve. Well, this is according to Wikipedia, which you know you can never trust, but it says that pornography has the objective of graphically depicting sexually explicit scenes. Whereas, I guess erot It's more artful. All right, I'll see everyone try to hide everyone with the art. Everyone says erotica.

A verotica is more artful people. You know what art is a bunch of crap. That's all I got to say. Oh, man. I want to art school. I know. Okay, the depiction of erotica. This is this is Miriam Webster's definition.

Here's a ball. The depiction of erotic behavior, as in pictures or writing intended to cause sexual Assightments, there needs the intention to cause sexual excitement. If you're telling me what erotic is, Playboy magazine's intention is to cause sexual arousal, sexual, sexual excitement. The black woman photograph might cause sexual excitement, but that's probably not why it's hanging in the arc, reality.

Why show woman naked? Because it's beautiful. And the woman's not beautiful naked in the playboy magazine. She's spreading her lips and like her tongue's hanging out. And you know what lips are talking about? Do, what are the playboys are you looking at? Doesn't do that, playboy, what about a plan? I don't know, I don't know.

Fine, move it on. All right, it's a good debate for the listeners. It's a great debate. What you consider porn, I mean, it's been going on. We studied this in college, but that was a long time ago. Okay. What's the problem with porn? Porn addiction, they say children as young as eight

have been found to have the symptoms of addiction to pornography due to its accessibility. This leads me to my godson who was nine years old, or eight years old when he took his dad's iPhone and typed in pretty girls with big boobs at nine. What is that? Nine? Yeah.

And then my dad was like, we gotta talk. Yeah. Wow, well, there's probably kids at the playground like talking about it, you know? I know, he's like, he's like as a crush on me. Like he's like, when you coming back to like, I'm just Godmother. I know, but it's crazy as the sounds folks, parents.

I mean, I don't know how it was in your days, but when I was at the playground, in first grade, we are already swearing and talking about sex. In first grade. In first grade? Yeah, I got in kindergarten. I got kicked out of school for the day because I was cussing on the playground. Like, that's how it is these days, folks. I want to see teachers of you when you were little. Oh, I was, I don't know what happened,

but I was extremely cute. I'm sure you were. What happened? I don't know. Okay. But I, so you learned it illegal. I don't remember what everybody was. I, So you learned it early on. You don't remember what I'm going to buy. Everybody was, I think the times have really changed. I'm sure it's even more insane because back then when I was, I was talking about on the playground with my friends, we didn't have the internet. We, we couldn't Google this kind of stuff. Right. So now imagine kids are super smart these days.

They know about the internet. They know about Google. So when you're talking about it on the playground, the moment you get your hands on a computer, you're Googling, what is a Feife bag? Right. What is a Feife bag? I don't even know. You guys can laugh about me.

What is that? It's a home made masturbation tool. Oh, cool. Yeah. So like, you're like, oh, hey, man, you know, got my Feife bag. It's a it's a masturbation homemade masturbation tool. Oh cool. Yeah, so Hey, man, you know got got my feefy bag We just are masturbating. How old were you? Oh? I had to be a teenager. I wasn't doing it early. You weren't doing it. Yeah, but I don't know how I figured it out like we weren't really Talking about it. We were talking about masturbation. No, we're talking about chicks

I wish that I wish that people know guys people no one talks about masturbation, which is why I never occurred to me to masturbate. Kisses me off. The most common concern, though, about pornography is that it indirectly hurts women by encouraging sexism, raising sexual expectations, and thereby harming relationships. This is what we've all heard in college, and it was like, I'll be creative. All of a bunch of always focused. You can argue this can be seen in the mainstreaming of waxed pubic hair, breast implants, butthole bleaching, and eating disorders.

99% of porn, these are some of the problems or issues with porn, is made by men, for men, where the end game is to get the man off rather than the woman. Yeah. A lot of feminist critics, bash porn for the sex and production and porn being aggressive and negligent towards women. But when porn is marketed as lady friendly,

it supports the idea that women are modest and fragile and have to be accommodated to a specific male, have to be accommodated in a specific male-produced way. They say it is limiting the expression of human women's actualities. But I have to say, we're gonna get into this a little bit, but there's so much porn now for women made by women, there's porn for couples,

like if you go to good vibrations, or if you go into Adam and Eve, like there's thousands of titles and you can sort by good for couples, good for women. So it's changed a lot, but I back in the day, like even probably 10 10 years ago that was all for men and it's changed So at the base of it all people don't talk about porn a lot We get vulnerable or naked sexual egos are fragile and it's difficult to talk about sex the people you're having it with

Why you're actually having it because you're terrified of hurting your partner's feelings as or derailing the sex. But you want to please your partner so you seize the cues from any place you can. And if the only clue cues you have from porn, and those are the ones that you'll take. So these are some things not to take them porn because I feel like a lot of people like like a lot of men, right? Did you feel like you learned, or you don't watch her when you were younger? Did you watch porn?

No, I learned a lot of stuff just, talking with friends about things. Like the first time you had sex, did you watch porn? No, oh well, yeah, but I wasn't watching porn on the show. You were on like taking notes. Regular, I panned. I mean, I probably, before I had sex, which was until I was 18, I probably seen a porn. Three or four times in my life or something like that.

That's same with me. I, yeah, I mean, it wasn't, and like one of them, which I, I guess we were still debating if it's a porn or not, was like the Tommy Lee sex tape or something like that, you know? Right. I mean, yeah, that's porn. That is the type of porn. What is sex tape versus porn? It's like a phone number thing in Brawler.

I just, again, I don't think it's a, I don't think it's a porn unless, you know, they're paid to do it. It's a broad, it's images meant to titillate. And the reason that the people who are putting it on… Yeah, but that was a meant for them to see. Yeah, but they knew they were filming it and then once it became a sex tape, it became pornography. Okay, listen.

So there's reasons why women might not like porn. When women watch porn, they don't always see the same way as men. It's that the kind of sex you expect her to give to you. Do you wish that she looked like that? She likes to feel, she likely feels this wish that she looked like that? She likes to feel, she likely feels this subconscious pressure to perform like a porn star, to look a porn star, to look like one, and to be sexually talented and adventurous as a porn star. These concerns are along the same lines as men thinking, is my penis big enough? She may be raised very conservative.

And so like I said, at the beginning, when I had a boyfriend in my 20s who watched porn, I was really confused by it because I was like, I don't have blonde, you know, whatever, pointing at you, showed me blonde hair, big fake boobs, and I'm not doing all these things. Am I an adequate? Like, I thought I was having the best sex of my life, you know, at 22, whatever. It was amazing, I thought. I don't know if it's still staying the test of time, but it was good. I thought he needed more and I wasn't pleasing enough. This is really common for women to think that.

You know what? I think all these theories, all that stuff is just BS. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Like how it's like ruining people's sex lives and all that stuff. I think it's a bunch of crap. This is what porn has done for men to women. All right.

Increase facials where men has, you know, orgasms on a woman's face. That's it. And Pound Town, where guys just jack right there because that's what's going on the entire porn because they're just jackrabiting the whole time, that's it. Those are the two things that porn has increased, that's it. All this other stuff is bulls. It is.

It is. What not to take from porn? Don't blindly co-op moves and techniques you see without first understanding what is fulfilling to you and your partner. So there are lots of moves and porn that don't necessarily feel good for the woman, like Pound Town, go in a Pound Town really hard and like Jack Raviting. Assuming that your partner is into the standards of porn production, it would be like the money shots choking, rough and fast sex, especially rough oral sex, like throat effing,

pulling out and slapping your vagina with your penis, slapping the vagina with your penis, unprepared anal, asked mouth. Well, you're a big fan. The idea that male ejaculation is the absolute endgame of sex. That is what not take from porn. The male ejaculation is like,

it's always other money shots. It's always about when the man comes. It's not about the woman. That's not what take from porn. All those things. But what you can take from porn and when it is good, is when you engage your fantasies and ask yourself what you like, what you wanna try,

if you wanna dress up, if you wanna role play, and try new positions, and there's just a few avenues to explore. Ask yourself, what sites are videos do I go through to continually? If you're trying to figure out what you really like, what scenes or films turn you on the most, learn to identify, understand your fantasies through the porn that you watch and do it you're attracted to. So, you know, you might get more creative about where sex takes place because porn is often

like, you know, taking place in weird places, straight places other than the bedroom. You can take the initiative. Sex doesn't have to be bounded by time constraints or gender roles. Both partners can get sex started. The importance of addressing, porn tends to jump straight to nudity, but taking close off is just as important as we always talk about in the show that you need to address. Dirty talk. Don't go overboard at first, but jazz it up once in a while. So these are some things that you can learn from porn. Get out of the dark, don't let body insecurities

get in the way of sex and enjoying each other's companies. So how do you introduce porn into your relationship? Because I think that porn can be, if she's down with it and he's down with it, a good tool to learn about. Yeah, you just hang out at the house and you go, hey, you want to watch porn? So for guys, it's gonna discover her feelings about it. You might find out that she thinks porn is gross

and disgusting. And if this is the case, make sure you think carefully about your course of action and whether introducing porn is a good idea at all. I was actually dating a girl that wanted to watch porn. Yeah. And did you? I don't know, we should watch porn. I was like, a girl that wanted to watch porn. Yeah. And did you? She said, no, we should watch porn.

I was like, nah, it's weird. Let's just have sex. Yeah, I watch porn with the guy. It's cool. So, talking out with her, has she ever watched before? What did she like? You have to be ready for the idea that she may be into something that you're not into. So imagine that.

She's like, I want to see a guy being inally penetrated, for example. Hmm. Well, I know I have a lot of friends who like gay porn. Anyway, she might find that hot. How do you feel about that? Find something to watch together. So if you go to addimineve.com, they've got tons of porn for couples, like the Commissue Tra Intimidate counters,

101 positions for lovers, Candida Royals, Fem, Crywolf, the the Texas vibrator massacure, that's for goofy couple. There's pirates, pirates too. I mean, there's all these things. Oh, pirates is like, that's a porn that actually wanna wash because apparently it's the highest budgeted porn

of all time. I have like a million dollar. Yeah, do you want me to get your copy of it? Yeah, I just like to see the production value. To be, I'm being dead on his, the head. That's the opposite. He's like, I just like to see the production value. I'm being dead on his. The opposite. The opposite. I just like to see the print.

You wouldn't think you'd get a bold watch. I just want to see, like, it's supposed to be the, the, the, the pornote, the highest budget ever. I want to see how it actually looks. Is it really that supposed popular? And there's a pirate's too. Good vibes. Good vibrations also offers hand selected ethical sex positive and feminist erotic videos. So good vibes is much more like, yeah, sex positive and feminist erotic videos.

So good vibes is much more like sex positive, feminist, erotic, and their website offers pay by the minute on-demand videos. So you can try out different videos out there. So there's also a lot of how-to porn, how to perform moral sex, how to penetrate my partner, how to do chemistry, how to do a erratic massage. There's some great how-to videos, which you can learn a lot from. And the first time you break out porn for the two of you, it shouldn't be the craziest

DVD you could find, start out with something sexy. Don't force her to watch something if she's not open to it. That's what I got for you in porn. And I got to say again, if you're looking, if this is getting you interested and you're getting you hot and excited, good vibes has a great selection. Good vibes.com, GVM-15 use 15% off.

Or do you know what you can do? Here's a little. Oh God, what are you gonna say? You would say, my DVD player is broken. I only have, I only have VHS. And then you pop in the goonies. And for some reason, in the middle of the goonies, it is like silver screen happens. And then, boom, a porno. It's a good mistake.

Yeah, like it just looks like somebody taped over it by accident. That's good. Just trick her into it. That's a great idea, man. Amazing. I'm sure she'll tell him. I'm sure she'll love that. So that's just some porn tips. Check it out. porn can be fun. porn can be your friend. But watch out for the love that. So that's just some porn tips. Check it out. Porn can be fun.

Porn can be your friend, but watch out for the pitfalls. Don't be coming to addicted to it. Addict. Addict. That's what we got for you today. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me.

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