Sex With Emily - SWE: Relationship Resolutions

Episode Date: January 7, 2012

Emily talks about why women love talking on the phone, everyone wants to have a threesome, one size fits most penises, and the Taco Bell aphrodisiac. Also, how to have better relationships in 2012 and can men and women really be friends? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard so much. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like laundry? It's drinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. You think she kinda cute. The girls gotta understand it so much. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Moly? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I'm so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithamlee.com.

You can listen to all of our shows and become friends with benefits member. We love our friends with benefits members. We so appreciate everyone being coming members. You get four shows a week and lots of perks and benefits in your friends. And we appreciate that. We need a way to support the show.

And thanks everyone for supporting us. It is free Friday and I'm sorry we're starting a few minutes late. We had some technical issues. But here we are and I'm very excited for today's show. We're going to be talking to Dr. Yvonne Fulbright. She is a sex expert, she's an international sexologist, sex educator, author, relationship expert.

She's going to be giving us some great tips. How to improve your relationship in the new year. These are some amazing tips and I was like, you gotta be on our show. So we are going to be calling her a little bit and we are gonna be reading your emails and some other fun things. We might get to breasts. We've got some stuff on breasts. We're gonna talk about today.

If not, we'll do it on Monday. Hey, Matt, it's what's up. Happy free Friday. I know, how you doing? I'm great, how are you? I'm just looking at over, I'm looking over like three different computers at the same time right now,

because I'm sorry, you're getting a little frustrated over technical issues. Which is not like- I know because I'm annoyed we started at one o'clock, it's a free Friday show, I wanted to start on time and we just have a new computer in here. I have a new computer in here and we're trying to get two computers on the internet

using the same network and they just don't want to work together. So I'm really sorry if you guys have been waiting and yeah, but here we have- Because you have a guest, that's why, on the internet using the same network and they just don't want to work together. It just doesn't work. So I'm really sorry if you guys have been waiting and yeah, but here we have a guest. That's why we have to call the guest. We need the internet for the guest and... Anyway, it doesn't matter. It's a big hassle.

But anyways, hi. Hi, happy Friday. So you're going to have sex this weekend? Why not? Why the hell not? I'm trying new things in the... You said your new year's resolution was to have more sex this year, so I'm just saying,

I'm just saying, that's all right. With random people. Ooh, random acts of sex, yeah. I think you should do it. I'll be going to different places this weekend, so maybe it might happen. We should be in Vegas this weekend. I know, but isn't it next weekend

where's just to be in Vegas or is it this weekend? I think it's next weekend. I'm still working out of PS. I'm gonna try to get a set, yeah. Yeah, because we're, yeah. Don't think I'm just being vague as well as this. I think it's next weekend. I'm still working out at PS. I'm gonna try to get us that. Yeah, because we're, yeah. Don't think I'm not trying and don't write me off yet because I still might make stuff happen that'll blow your mind.

That'd be amazing. I know. I would love it. I have so many friends that'll be there too and it would just be a good time. I know. You and I, Vegas would be crazy. I don't even, I'm afraid for us. I know. We would promote vagus to be crazy. I don't even I don't even I'm afraid for us I know we would promote the hell out of whatever. I don't care if you have like

dog caca mustache Product I will I will Somebody flies to Vegas next weekend. We will be so much fun. I promise So that's what we're gonna offer the state. I'm not down to staying a random person I know someone did offer Thank you. Thank you for offering Listener who emailed us so we could stay in the room. Don't you don't want medicine your room? He throws up over balcony. Yeah, and I don't even stay in my parents room

So don't you be offended like in my parents house? I want my own house is talking my mom today and she's like you talked your mom finally Thank God. I talked to her all the time. I feel like okay I see like with're short. Okay. I see like with women, like my mom, my entire life, we'll have like two, three hour phone conversations with my grandmother, and I don't understand like, what do you talk about? Women, we love the phone.

We like talking phone. I talked to my mom for hours, I'm not hours, but like half hours sometimes. There's so much talk about, we talk about we process our emotions, how we're feeling, what we're doing. I get that men are not down with the phones. That's why they event to text messaging. Yeah, but my mom doesn't text.

I know. I was kind of getting over a technical thing, getting on my mom because she has all these animals. She has like llamas, she has sheep, she has all these dogs, chickens, all that stuff. And I want her to send me photos of them, right? Right. I get like one photo every six months, and the photo is like,

I'll cry, and like, I'll mess up. Like through email, and I'm like, Mom, come on. Right. You just got to go there to the farm and take the pictures yourself or whatever it is. Yeah, but I- You just don't want to see your mom. My stepdad is also like, because my stepdad,

he like works on electronics. Like he builds like, like, motherboards and crazy stuff like that right he's super technical but he's like me with you like I don't want to waste my time and teach you on some technical stuff because I'm just gonna be wasting my time. I know a lot more than you think I really do I do I know I'm just getting frustrated so I know I'm hoping to share with me it's scary. I could understand why I would just get a one photo every six months because my stepdad does not want to teach me.

I understand. I don't even know why my dad and my mom are still not together because my dad is like the least tech savvy person on my life. Most parents are not the tech savvy. My mom was like, God, our iPhone didn't understand it. It does. It does understand Facebook.

She's like, I keep getting all these things on Facebook requests. I don't know what to do. And I'm like, oh my God, I gotta come home and help you. And my stepmom, well, my former stepmom, I don't even know what she is anymore now. But she was super technical too. Like, but she just, yeah, well parents, I don't know, I don't wanna like write off all parents.

Some are really good at it, some are not. But we've got a big announcement to make. We've got a show tonight on serious XM. I know, some are not. But we've got a big announcement to make. We've got a show tonight on Sirius XM. I know, you just reminded me of... We've got a Friday night slot now. So if you have Sirius XM, it's extreme talk 165. It's at 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 9 o'clock Eastern Standard Time,

and we're right for the Artie Langshow. It's Artie and someone else. Artie and Nick Depala. Right, exactly. So we've got a show there. So everyone should listen. We're very excited about that. That is, I mean, before Arty Lang is a big deal.

Yeah, he's Howard Stern's right hand guy for how many years? Oh, forever. I mean, I don't know how he's turned without Arty Lang. Right. Like, Arty Lang is a legend. I know. So how how fun he's hilarious He's he's the real deal. He is the real deal wasn't he like an addict or he is an addict? Oh, yeah, he's had been out of rehab in our rehab, but he yeah, he's had an extremely

Hard life too with early childhood where his his I believe his dad What's a construction worker and fell off a roof. Oh my God. He's back and paralyzed himself and all this kind of stuff. That's so sad. Didn't know that. Yeah. So everyone's got messed up childhood. Yeah. People who doesn't, who doesn't, I'm, I'm, I did. But, um, I'm all fine now. Speaking of, I'm so normal and healthy. That's what's so weird about my messed up childhood is that I came out. I came out so well and healthy and so tonight actually so speaking of rehab No, I'm so we're January. This is so we're January. A bunch of my friends are doing so we're January so no drinking whatever

But I have a birthday party and I know and like my friends gluten free So it's gonna be like a sober free gluten free birthday party. Oh my god. It sounds so amazing I know it's like my friend was like over you play the canasta and drink herbal tea after, like, what's gonna happen to this party tonight? So that's my January, but it'll be fine. It's a birthday party and I don't need to drink. I don't need to do that kind of stuff anyway. So I didn't even realize that, that today was Friday at all.

Really? When I got up to work and I was sitting in the studio and I realized like, wait a minute, today's Friday. I know, I'm so excited. How did you not realize Friday's the best day ever? I know, but we've been covering from all the... You've been recovering.

Time off and something like that. No, I know. It was a crazy week because it always is the week you get back from holiday. The week, you know, everyone's like putting things off till January, January, and now we're all back and we're ready to talk about sex. So, here we are.

They're exciting. I've been, yeah, I told you that it's been slow, but it's starting to pick up with you know crazy stories This house low it is You mean news is slow. Yeah, not us. We're not slow. No, no, no Bristol Pailin got like a speeding ticket for 40 no no a tail light out for 40 bucks, and that was news Really, yeah, Sarah Palin's daughteran's daughter cares really that's the news for the pale in

wise and one of the best behavior right now and then like salina gome as a stalker was caught or something was that would happen that's all we've heard in the news today we don't even have sex in his because there is no news you know what i did read uh... do you know trail o'ones the football player uh... reality shows anyways what anyways. Why do you? He's a good-looking gentleman. Oh, I should know. Yeah. That's why I should. I should. Bono. Well, I don't know if he's born man. I'm married. Right now he's been injured and he was out of the NFL and

but he's had like a lot of He's had a lot of success in me a lot of money He's had a lot of success in many, a lot of money. He currently right now is in four different paternity tests like things going on in the day. Dispute or whenever, four women are claiming that he's their baby daddy. Yeah. That's crazy.

Four different women at once. Mm-hmm. Oh my God, that is a lot. I'm surprised it didn't happen to like Tiger Woods or all those guys who slept around, but like, you think that would have happened more. But four at once, are you serious? That is news.

I'm not gonna bone him, forget it. I'm totally going to. Well, then he's already paying child support too. So he had to say, he had to go back to the court and say, hey, look, I'm out of the NFL. I'm not making that much money anymore. I'm paying like 4,000 plus a month for a child's support. Okay, one word for him.

Condoms. What the hell? Like, why are people sleeping around and not using protection? People, you can get people pregnant. It happens, you can get sexually transmen diseases, you get people pregnant, put on a frigging condom. Seriously, get a lifestyle's condom. We love lifestyle. They sent us a thousand condom. Seriously, get a lifestyle condom. We love lifestyle. They send us a thousand condoms. Oh nice. I know. I didn't get any. Oh,

do you want some? Yeah, hook me up. We've got them. I've used most of them. Okay, so you have about two left. Exactly. No, not true. But also, I don't know $4,000 a month to take care of a kid that that's a little much. No, that's that's about well $4,000 a month well depends if you never have it haven't I'm never having kid of it cost $4,000 a month That we get for sure cost $4,000 a month this you back to school and presents and health care and Doesn't it cost that I would think it would oh man, maybe not I don't know I never had a kid I have a dog and she cost me a lot of money, but that's that's different story and What are you doing tonight anything fun? I'm playing canasta I never had a kid. I have a dog and she costs me a lot of money, but that's a different story. What are you doing tonight? Anything fun?

I'm playing Canasta. You're playing with me? No, Canasta or whatever. I'm kidding because we're not drinking. So I don't know what I'm doing. Do you know what my big plans are? I've been feeding to go. And it's not as accessible in the city.

You got to talk about, I got to love talk about. I know, you talk about talk about all the time. It's disgusting. Talk about it was so good. Oh my God, I was a Taco Bell. I kind of love Taco Bell. I know, you talk about Taco Bell all the time. It's disgusting. Taco Bell is so good. Oh my God, I was a bartender. I was a cocktail waitress in college and we had a Taco Bell little thing inside the bar and we got free Taco Bell at the time.

You also got free Taco Bell. No, it was a real Taco Bell in the bar and I got free Taco Bell all through college. I can never hear you again. Because you're drunk, I would work as a waitress but then we would drink because we were in college and And while we were working, and then we would just pound burrito on tacos. Yeah, what Taco Bell has, I believe since you've been in college, has progressed in coming

up with new things for you to try, and it's effing delicious. So, wait, you're going to go find it. You're like at a Taco Bell hunt? Yeah, I need to go eat Taco Bell. Where does it exist in the city? There's a couple places. There's actually... Oh, there's one in the it, you're like on a Taco Bell hunt. Yeah, I need to go eat Taco Bell. Where does it exist in the city? There's a couple places, there's actually... Oh, there's one in the marine, I think, right? Yeah, there's one in the marine, that's the one that I go to. Right.

And see, the funny thing is about Taco Bell, they always come out with new stuff, but it's always the same ingredients to change the environment. Exactly, that's Mexican food. Mexican food is the same ingredients. It's like beans rice cheese and meat sometimes Yeah, and tortillas. That's all it is just mixed up in different ways like what the hell's different? And Shalada burrito then Shalada has a sauce on top or something. I never know

So effing good as the red sauce the red sauce right, but it's like it's like a burrito It's like the melted cheese on top of it and then you just put the chicken in it. Oh my god That's what you're doing tonight, sounds fun. I had the biggest boner right now, I'm talking about it. Really? You get a boner from Taco Bell. That's so interesting.

All right, so sexy. I know, I love it. We are, we are poll, we have a poll result in. Oh really what? I was just, we're gonna have a new poll next week, you're interested, right? Because this is what our fan said. We had a question on our website,

sexfamily.com. What do you want to accomplish in the bedroom in 2012? 39% said this is the winner, a threesome. 21% would like to try a new sex toy. 16% would like to get tied up and maybe use a whip too. 17% would like to try mutual masturbation. And that's who you want to try. So 39% would want to thre masturbation. And that's who I'm trying. So 39% on threesome, that's still so coveted.

Why did everyone have threesome? They're overrated. I mean, they're fun, but they're, you know, I mean, they're not overrated, but it's so like tricky to get into a good threesome scenario. You have to have people, like I know if you're in a relationship and we've done shows on this before, but just the tips since 39% of your zones and for threesome this year, you have to make sure if you're in a relationship and we've done shows on this before, but just a tip since 39% of your Jones and Furth reason this year, you have to make sure if you have

a partner and you want a threesome that you need to discuss the rules before you jump into the threesome. So if you get wasted and you find out how to check at the bar, not a time to do it. Like talk about it beforehand. Is there kissing involved? Is there penetration involved? You allowed to sleep with the other woman. I'm assuming it's a guy with two women.

That's what most people are talking about. Yeah. And you gotta have the rules because it can really mess up a relationship It's so close so many times just Despite you haven't you probably just pass out I would just pass out. I don't know maybe you just gotta stay awake And then so close but just so far So that's what people say to us and also I I got to talk about this real quick. This is important. AdamNive.com have this amazing offer.

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which are amazing, vibrating cock rings. What am I favorite things? Yeah, you love vibrating. I love them because it's a win-win. What the love of her spikes on them are just like, no, they're because they vibrate, they know because they're stretchy, they fit over most penises, one size fits most penises, and then it has a little vibration on the end of it that hits the woman's clitoris, so it's like a win-win.

The guy like the vibration, we have some women's clitoris, and as we know, women need clitoral stimulation, huge fan. Huge. Huge, huge, huge fan. Are you fan of huge cock rings or any size cock rings? Any size cock rings. Okay.

But most of them are strategy, so they fit over most penises even yours. Oh, really. I don't know, I think so. We could call our guests right now, since we were running a little late. I'd say we give you a von Faux-Buy call right now. She's gonna give us advice for the new year tips

for your relationship, and they're awesome tips, actually. How to just keep your relationship healthy and strong and make it even stronger than it is right now because everyone's doing their quintin' smoking, quitting drinking, going to the gym, whatever your resolution is, I think personally, if you're in a relationship

or you wanna be in a relationship, you should look to make improvements there. Just use the tip. Use the tip. Only the tip, only the tip. Okay, let's give her a call. Okay, so I'm. This is still on what's tip. Okay, let's give her a call. Okay, so I'm okay, so this is what's happening. I'm using my cell phone and it works with the

speaker against the microphone because we that's why the show started so late because we're having problems getting both computers on the internet. We have the call and IT person to come down here to fix it. I'd wear it's such our studios. It's not their fault. We even ask teacher people to help us out and we need a person that knows how to handle IP addresses and all the other things. Exactly, but we've done this before and it actually is fine sound on my droid.

Yeah, it just looks funny. It looks funny, so I'm calling her and then I'm gonna put her on speaker. So you've on Fullbright, she's a noted international sexologist, sex educator, author, relationship expert. She's awesome. We are calling her now.

Hello. Hello, it's Emily. Hi Yvonne. Hi, how are you? I'm good, how are you? Thanks so much for being on the show today. I'm glad you've been traveling me. Yeah, I want, I love your tips.

So we're talking about, you've got some amazing suggestions for couples and people in relationships to improve their relationship in the new year. Right, right. Well amongst them is sort of the whole thing of car dating, you know, when you're in the moon, I think a lot of people are very guilty of thinking that they're always needed to be a proper time and place and then they'll have these a bit no stirrings. It's like, wait, wait, I can't go with that right now. It's not convenient or I don't look a certain way or maybe my partner is not going to be

receptive. You know, get rid of those thoughts and just use the moment. Exactly. Like, it's so true. We sometimes we feel that we don't, yeah, you feel like people, so people feel like they're not in the mood or they're not ready and you're saying just do it. Just go for it.

Have some. I'm not going to. I never know when you're going to have that opportunity again. And then I know that people get older. Sometimes they look back on those times and those stories came a lot more easily. And and it's like why did night just run with it when my body was much more cooperative? So I you know, you're not getting any younger go ahead and take advantage. Exactly. Tell me about it, right? You gotta just have sex and a lot of times with women too if they're not in the mood

I always say this like just start going just start doing it and then you get there, you know like you're not in the mood You're not warmed up yet. You just keep, go through the motions and you'll be psyched. So, the whole thing to you, you're moving the body does have sex, then it does boost test off strong production, and then it's the test of oxygen that has both men and women desiring more sex. No, sometimes it's just, you know, getting your toes wet and then suddenly all of you's wet, then. I like it.

You want to submerge yourself into the water. So it's a nice nice sensation. Awesome. Okay. And the next on your list is communicate proactively. Definitely. This kind of goes back to the whole thing that we all assume that our lovers are mind readers and I think Mars being a definitely perpetu racist.

Especially as far as the gender is trying to analyze what the other is thinking or saying behind the other is back or analyzing on what comes to the sex relationships. And really, go ahead and ask questions, go ahead and put your needs out there. Basically, have a conversation that needs to be had before you've been realized. They maybe need to be had before you've been realized, and maybe needs to be had just so you're very much in truth each other and know especially what your relationships and sexual expectations are. Exactly.

Because people think, though, I'm just going to wait, it's not that bad, it doesn't bother me that much, maybe I'll bring it up later. And it's like, just bring it up in the moment when you're having an issue or that day because things build up and then you're mad and angry and you have a blowout. Like a lot of times you'll find that your partner was wondering the same thing or was totally misunderstanding you and there's this communication breakdown and I think it's really important for people to be able to clarify where they stand on saying you're going to keep, what you're saying basically ultimately avoid a lot of issues and getting things out in the open. Exactly, exactly.

Okay. And then next we've got plan your strategy. Yes, I'm so easy to think of all these good ideas, but that you're going to do them later, or you can put them in your planner. I go second week in February, is when I'm going to plan this for June's vacation. You know, like do as much as you can now approach it almost like you

and some people are going to like this analogy, but almost like you would wedding planning, where you have this whole checklist of stuff you really need to do for the big event, and you just start shipping away at it right away. And then when we get done early on, easier it's going to be to execute on things later. So just go for it, get it off your plate, add it all there waiting for you. And it's just going to be for much more flavorful experience when it comes to the date, dramatic getaway, either whatever you plan for the two of you. Right. I mean, it's so true because people think like this way I said before, right, before I called you is that the reason why these tips are so important is that people just aren't prioritizing their relationships.

They're just not. They're thinking, oh, I really should just fine. I'm gonna work on everything else, but your relationship is probably the most important thing. It's something thing you spend, personally, might spend the most time with, and it's important to make these plans. You're absolutely right.

And get all the support that you need lined up sooner versus later. And that isn't just you go booking all the just booking hotel reservations or making flight reservations or whatever, but it's like making sure you got the family in place for people who are willing to take your kids for the week. Or setting up a regular trustworthy baby for every other Friday night so that you can make sure you're getting that date in. Is it just kind of hoping that it's going to happen

that you can hit up people later? It's hard for them to say no when it's advanced planning. It's so true. And I have so many friends who are like, oh, I couldn't find a baby sitter. I'm like, this town is filled with people who would babysit for you, you know? Just think five minutes ahead, right?

Yeah, definitely. Okay. And then next, we have start each, start an end each day with a kiss. I love that Yeah, it's really great with connecting and expressing love and You know research has actually found it It's these couples that start each day and end each day with a kiss

Kiss that are reporting that they're happier and sure enough happen This is gonna contribute to longevity and staying together and makes it a lot easier and And you know very much let's and it makes it a lot easier. And very much like to let you partner in how you are priority to me. Yeah, it's exactly, I love the kiss before bedtime or in the morning. It's so, it's such a great way of connecting.

It's important to do, you know. And so simple, so simple. I know, just a kiss. Okay, is it okay? I'm just reading these because I got them from your thing. Or so make a list of fun things to do together. I love that too. I don't know about you, but I try to be a scatterbrain sometimes. Like there are, you know, for example,

we get movie listings on the subway to work in the morning and it's like, oh, I'd love to see that slick. And then when it comes time to maybe be able to edit a date, I draw a total blank as far as, you know, what was I thinking would make for a really nice movie date night? So, when ideas come up whether they're in a sexual romantic or adventure, so keep it on going with, going in that way when the time, whether it's all of a sudden or well in advance is either to do some planning, then it's right there. You've got all these great ideas. You don't even have to waste time doing more research. Exactly. It's like started duck. Right. It's like started documenting your in your smartphone or whatever like on the note pad

and just every time you think of something write it down. Exactly. That's what you got to do. Okay. And then treat yourself to a regular massage. Why is massage so important? Well, you know, whether it's going to be coming from your lover or from an actual massage therapist, it just helps to work out all the stressors. And we know from working with a lot of people, and it goes for both men and women, but especially women, it's like if you can't relax, you're hanging out at a day's anxiety. If you're stressed with a pulmonary muscle, they're all tense,

and it's going to be really hard to transition from that state to a state to really get it on. But a lot of people don't realize that the more worked up you are from the day stressors, the less receptive your body is to intimate sexual touch. So, you know, making sure you're working at all the kinks that you're getting yourself into a relaxed state is ultimately going to get you more rubbed up the responses to sexual advances when they happen. Exactly. The massage is so, and it does release so much in you. You don't realize how tense you are, and it is true that stress is one of the biggest factors

why people don't have sex or they can't get into it. I mean, men and women, why they're not in the mood is because their mind's going crazy, and the massage is another way just to quiet down your mind and focus on your body and get yourself ready. Such a wonderful transition from two very different worlds. It's a lot of pressure to put on yourself, put on your lover. Okay, you just go home from work and I'm going to jump you.

Right. I just hate that. There's no total sex to say. I'm like, unless there's a lot of intellectual mental form play going on or you've been kind of changed that all week with the comments. That's what's been on your brain all day. Your people need that time to transition and then wind and you're so really effective way to do that.

That's great. Okay, I love the massage. Do something novel this year. Yeah, you know, this kind of goes along with our earlier point of being a little plan and your strategy for 2012 loving. I mean, it goes along with, what can you guys do together?

We also have five of that room, as far as bonding, connecting, having experiences together with a course of novelty, being key when it comes to raising dopamine levels in the brain, and throughout the body, and dopamine being that hormone neurotransmitter that is staying on one that spikes when we fall in love. So it's gonna create a lot of those few good feelings for your partner or for your relationship,

for your sex life, ultimately. And so here at Black, what can we do with our new adventure this year? And that might be for a couple of roots, hiking, but never done a certain type of trail or going to a certain private country, people who want to take self-esteem those swing lessons because they never have and they always thought it would be cool or you know taking a kayaking class and I've actually known people who met from those sort of hobbies outside of work so you just never know what these sort of adventures can offer you. That's so true and even if you're single in your lesson this is like it is true that you know you these are all things you could do what these sort of adventures can offer you. That's so true. And even if you're single in your lesson,

this is like, it is true that, you know, these are all things you could do yourself too. I mean, you could, yeah, take a new class, do something that you've always wanted to do, and it is a great way to meet people. Get yourself out of the bar. Yeah, so I have single friends too, who are being really good to themselves this year.

I think it's sort of a couple of them are turning 40, but it's like, Gailer, I'm'm single and I always want to go to Thailand or I'm going to plant a multi-city trip to Europe just because I'm wonderful and I have a girlfriend wanting to go and we're gonna have a blast. I love those people for you know coffee and not waiting around for somebody special to do that with. Right. It's true and there are more single people than ever, than at any time before. There are more single people, there are people

delaying marriage, just do something that you've always wanted to do. January, so you could be able to connect. Exactly. Okay, address personal issues that affect your relationship. Sure, this one is for those couple who are dealing with an issue, or maybe one person in a relationship has some unresolved issues.

And whether it's that you or somebody who's been dealing with child sexual trauma, one time in sexual faultage, and a partner has cheated on you, is not happy with your sex life feeling unresponsive sexually to your partner, but not to other things. I mean, there are so many issues that people don't tackle thinking that maybe they have a deal of that one day, they'll get to that place, let this be the year, treat yourself to individual

and or couples counseling. Exactly, it's, I, couples counseling, just I tell this all the time, is that couples, you might just need a little tune up not saying you have to go for life, not say that anything's terribly wrong, but I mean a few sessions, you know, or commit to a few months can make a huge difference in a relationship. If you're finding that you're not able to communicate with each other anymore, if you just hit a roadblock and there's some issue that's

holding you back. So if anything, you're gonna have hopefully better communication at least better awareness of, you're going to have hopefully better communication at least better awareness of how you're not communicating so you can take the steps to try to address issues in there. But there is

absolutely no shame in seeking any kind of outside health and a lot of couple have been better off for it. Okay, I like it. Improve your libido through good nutrition.

Now we just had a long talk about Taco Bell before we called you. Delicious. Delicious. Okay, I like it. Improve your libido through good nutrition. Now we just had a long talk about Taco Bell before we called you. Delicious. I'm enniss here, my co-host. He was talking about how he's going to go eat Taco Bell this weekend. Well, why is that not a good idea? Well, you know, there's a thing, they're bad fats and they're good fats.

And you're going to find good fats and foods like salmon nuts or olive oil which tend to not be in your Taco Bell product. What a fun at all. It's no fun man, it's true, but. It's fun. Yeah, that isn't fun, but you know, it's maybe a great way to take care of a hangover the next day. Yeah. You know, recharge that way.

You know, definitely put the smile on your face. It can be some, you know, effects of that. But if you're really actually wanting to go for a well-balanced diet, then you want antioxidant rich foods and these are the ones that are like red pepper, garlic, spinach, and berries, and you want these sorts of foods because these antioxidant rich ingredients help you keep yourself healthy.

Of course, keeping your cholesterol low is help to keep your cells healthy. Of course, keeping your cholesterol low is going to help your cardiovascular system, which is going to help avoid any sex issues that involve blood supplies. For example, the health men go away to rectal dysplasia to consume foods that are going to help them keep your cholesterol levels lower. And then you've got foods like chili peppers or ginger that are thought to improve circulation and stimulate nerve endings. So that's why they're often recommended as affidiziax, a little taste to flip into meal.

I'm just saying, talk about... Talk about it as an affidiziax. Talk about an affidiziax for madness. He's got a lot of issues And it doesn't give me a reptile dysfunction as agri Not yet. It doesn't give you a reptile dysfunction, but eventually it will give you a like by agra Oh, it's so sad Okay, sex orise for health and fitness. Yeah, definitely the whole thing.

So many people are going to the gym, and getting on their treadmill, the more power to them, but they're not recognizing the fact that you can actually be working off even more calories, and sometimes much more pleasurably so, with vigorous sex sessions and psychologists tend to recommend at least three times a week and you're going for you know as much as 20-30 minutes if possible but of course it's going to vary depending on people but you can burn up to

150 calories in that time period. If you move the more active partner as in the more male and top-rate person or woman on top, she's writing. But yeah, a more active you are, a more calorie-driven person, you're getting your muscle more tone in general. I love it. I'm canceling my gym membership, but I'm just going to find someone to have vigorous sex with. I love it.

Yeah. Well, it definitely inspires for that kind of gusto energy that a lot of people complain about lacking in their sexual relations. OK, that sounds good. Minus students are exercising? Yeah, right away. Right, sex resizing.

OK, feather your love nest. This is actually getting at the whole idea of some shoelace in a bedroom and really looking at how can I breathe new energy and that might be as simple as changing the color of your sheets or the types of sheets you're actually investing in a pair of maybe satin sheets for the special weekend where you're hopefully not going to leave bed to you know painting your walls at a one that's red with gold dust painted in that kind of a really nice effect.

To make you sure that there's no clutter in the room, like the ceiling is something simple, get rid of any technology and if you must have a TV in there, you have it in a closed cabinet because a lot of Eastern approaches to room decor will say, you know, energy in the bedroom technology, not good for you, not good for your sex life. Yeah, you've got to get rid of the TV in the bedroom. I always tell couples that, just do not have the TV in the bedroom. You see that because you don't watch TV, that's why. Yeah, but if I did watch TV, I wouldn't want it in the bedroom. It's a distraction. You're like, oh, we could have sex or we could watch David Letterman or whatever people watch.

What do you do when you are not having sex in the bedroom? You talk. Hell no. You read? You give each other a central massage? That is sounds like a nightmare. I just picture menace and bedding talk about watching TV. Talk about, yeah.

Okay. Read a book about sex. This sounds so simple, but it's more people need to treat themselves to all the rich literature that's out there as in all the different types of sex books. And we've named the topic, somebody's written on it. There's just so much great reading out there to be done. And I get so many questions where I feel like almost every time I want to refer somebody to you an entire book that I've written

or one of my colleagues or friend's books because it's like you know you can only give somebody so much of like 300 words and they can just learn so much we come so much more empowered and and learning thoroughly about all the sexual positions out there. There are logins, types of orgasms. You name it. So go ahead and do some really quality reading for 2012. Exactly.

Because there's also some sort of savvy for it. That's good. And you have some books. What are your books? You have nine books. That's a lot of books. I have nine books out right now. Yeah.

And actually, people go to my website sexualoutiesource.com. They can learn more about them. Among my favorites, our Salt Tree Sex talk to introduce any lover. And then the better sex guide to extraordinary love making. Those are two pretty good, as far as comprehensive reads on those subjects. Okay, that's great. That should, why not read up? People read books and everything else. so they should read books about sex.

Absolutely. You know, they're all going also as e-guides now and digital and there's a no-ex-used and honestly the publishing industry has gone not as far as visual images to compliment these books too. Right. So I know better as books guides. To be true and I love love making packs with lots of really, really sweet pictures. Okay, great. So you can check it out. Tell me your website

again please so everyone can check you out. SexualitySource.com. SexualitySource.com, okay. And you're the AstroGlide Ambassador. What does that mean? Do you have a lot of, what does it, how are you doing? The next relationship ambassador for AstroGuide, do I answer questions that they get through their website, post occasional articles, of course do occasional media gifts for them, but truly helping them to give legitimate, qualified sex advice because people do look to various companies, whether they're making the blue condoms, sex toys, as far as being authorities on this subject and a lot of people behind the scenes haven't had any training and sexuality and they thought we'd

make a great team and it's been almost a couple of years now I think that we've all worked together and it's been a really good adventure. It's cool. So check out astrobi.com for more information and tips and so for it. I used to put together the video pre rolls for radio stations for asshole Clyde. You did.

Oh, yeah. That's so funny. I love it. It was just really great. Brand. Yeah. Let's add use more lube in 2012 for people too, because I think a lubricant is so important.

It's not people think it's just a few drive whatever but it can it's really can enhance love making for men and women i think i i i always have one and that i think it's a and if you don't need it couple more jobs can make all the difference exactly people don't realize that i'm such i've like fifteen loobs in my drive in my bedside and vibrators but that's a whole lot of thing but yeah, no I totally use vegetable oil right no menace don't even say things like that are wrong

Okay, um Yvonne Fulbright. Thank you so much for joining this show today. I really appreciate it I love your ideas Happy New Year to you Thanks you too. Thanks for having me. Okay. It's great. Have a great day. Bye Thanks you too, thanks for having me. Okay, it's great to have a great day. Bye. Awesome. Those are great tips.

Yeah, I was glad. You can find her at wherever we sent her website was. I'm sure it'll be up on sexandme.com. It will be up on sexandme.com. You know what I like on here? I like to start at the end each day with a kiss. Yeah, I really like that. Because even if you're fighting,

or whatever, when you put boyfriend or girlfriend, whatever, your couple, or your whoever you're with, just a kiss and the more, like make sure you kiss, we're so busy, we're running around, we're doing stuff just kiss. Look, it's nice. Yeah, I used to do that when I was seriously dating somebody. Now you don't kiss anyone, unless they're good kisser.

Man, it's just rights checks off if they're not good kissers. They're bad kisser. It's over. That's it. That's so bad, man. Why? Because I think that you can, you can become a better kisser. Like someone, your kissing can get better with somebody. They could get better, but sometimes there's just those people you connect with. I do not agree with you. You haven't just had one person you just connected with

with kissing like, oh my God, this is just. I've had people that I really connect with through kissing and they're amazing and then some that aren't, but then it gets better. Don't give up hope. Let's go back to answers. I just don't wanna hang out with it anymore. I know, you just don't, okay.

But maybe they're not just back to answers, maybe just we don't have that you know that rhythm together And then it's just not meant to be not meant to be man. Yeah, okay Well, you can have more vigorous. You're gonna more vigorous sex in the New Year So you're gonna have to maybe do some more vigorous kissing too. I know Okay, let's get into some emails. I told you I kissed that lesbian like last month. No, I told you right? Oh, yeah Yeah, but it was like a fun flirty fake. Yeah, I was just like See I got a lesbian to kiss me. How crazy is that?

That's crazy, man. You're starting to get into guys. She doesn't even get into guys if she's into the white medicine. Yeah. Who doesn't want a little white medicine? I charmed. I charmed her.

Charmed is the pants off her or something, the lip gloss off her. OK, we've got some emails. All right. Ready? Today's topics include a few things. Okay, we've got some emails. All right. Ready? Today's topics include a few things, toys, pain, during sex, understanding women. So our first question is.

Wow, understanding women, that's gonna be. Imagine that. Hard. Can women and men really be friends? This is from CG Orlando, Florida. He's a premium friend with benefits member. Yeah, men and women can really be friends. I used to think that, you know, when I was younger, maybe they can't. It's always about sex. Men and women can be friends. For sure, I've got a ton of guy friends

and yes, some of them, maybe I have slept within the past or it started out as a... That's not what they're talking about, like strictly friends. Yes. Men and women can totally, I have so many guy friends that I'm not slept with as well. Men and women can totally be friends, but I think that a lot of times I remember this, this was years ago and I was sitting with my, I was boyfriend at the time and his brother who was probably like 21 of the time.

He's like, you know what? I really don't understand the benefit of being friends with women. He's like, I don't get how you do it. Like men I think are raised will be like either I'm boning her or there's no need for women. And I think that as you get older and you mature, you realize that you can be friends with women. Don't you have a lot of women friends? Yeah, I have a ton of women friends. Yeah. So I don't

wonder what this question comes in. They really have friends. I don't sleep with all of them. You don't sleep with all of them? No. I said I would. You would? So do you have any women friends that you wouldn't sleep with? I mean, that's that is what he's saying is that like there's that whole like The problem is the ones that want to sleep with would totally sleep with me. That's the only thing Menace, what how do you know they would sleep with you? Yeah, they all would should we call some of them? No, we don't have to like you would sleep with me right right? That's right. I would always say that to them No, no, but I've got tons of guy friends that I, that is nothing sexual, we're just really, really good friends. And I think it can happen.

For sure. Okay. Hi, Emily, I'm sending this message. What? How is Wayne? You said for sure I was waiting for you to say totes. Totes? I know.

I've got a few, okay, oh, we've a survey. I would like to tell everybody about our survey that you need to fill out. It's on the Sexual Thenly Fan Page on Facebook, which you should like if you haven't liked it yet. And I have a survey there and I'd love everyone to fill out. It's only 10 questions. They'll take you five minutes and we want to know what you like about the show, what you don't like, what you'd like to improve. And somebody said something about less totalies and awesomes.

Okay. So I guess we do that a lot. I say awesome a lot. I say awesome and totally a lot. I live in California, people. I can't help lot. I say awesome and totally a lot. I live in California people I can't help it. It's in my DNA Toats Toats okay, I say toats in joking way only around you. I know did I start saying it first on the show? I don't know

Maybe I can't remember toats Okay, this one is called entitled how men should get over his fear of sex toys Right I should get over this is an email to you because it's not America. I can't do whatever I want titled, How Menish Should Get Over His Fear of Sex Toys? Right? I should get over my hair. This is an email to you. Because it's not America. I can't do whatever I want. I have to embrace whatever you tell me.

I just think that the fact that you are so against them means that you should try it and see what happens. Oh, OK. Yeah. I'm just not into it. People got to know. You never tried it. You know, shoving sex toys down my throat.

I'm not shoving them down your throat. I like the shoving mouths where. Okay, so hi, I'm Liam Menace. I'm sending this message for two reasons. Number one, my wife and I found a simple solution to menace's dislike of both teasing and sex toys. That being the vibrating panties. It's a great way to tease your partner and incorporate the use of a vibrator.

On our five-year anniversary, we went out for dinner while my wife had a pair of these panties on. Every once in a while during dinner, I would just be like, We read this the other day. No, we talked about the vibrating panties, but I don't think I swear we did. Did we read this one? Yeah. When they said that I have a Morse code, what else? No, I don't think we did.

Okay. I don't think we did it if we did we didn't read it we did we did talk about the other day because remember we I brought up how they had it was It was in that movie that yeah But I think I was talking about it for something else because number two he says I have the Morse code I don't think we read this out loud. I could be wrong. You're wrong. We talked about by Britney panties They're called you can get him an Adam and Eve. They're called Astrea a S T R E A I think or just look up by Britney panties, they're called, you can get them in Adam and Eve, they're called Astrea, A-S-T-R-E-A, I think, or just look up vibrating panties. So he would just really turn on the remote, the vibrator, V of remote. And my wife got so turned on, she told me if I didn't stop, she would finish before

we got dessert. She would have orgasm before dessert. This would be a great way for men to test the waters of the sex toy realm. So do you want me to get you some vibrate? You got to find a check who wears some vibrating panties. And we do talk about these a lot in the show. We did talk about it wasn't because of this. But you put the little, it has a vibrator in the crotch area and then you hold on the vibrator

and you're like turning around or in dinner or at a party. It's really hot. Number two, we've noticed that Emily has developed what I've come to call her Morse code. You tend to use shortened versions, versions of everyday words, which may be confusing to some listeners. We totally read this. I know it is not. That may not speak English very well. For example, instead of saying whatever, you will say what abs, deets for details, sit for situation, etc. I think it's rather funny when you use these cohorts. After all in all, you have an awesome show and we look forward to hearing

what you and men must have to say after the world, about the world's favorite past time. Keep it up. Tyler from Calgary. He's a premium friend of it's own Calgary. So we did read that. I don't know. I don't know. How come I don't remember reading it? Was I here? Because you're scatterbrain. You have too much too many things going on. But yeah, I know nothing that you do. What do you mean? You're like, Oh, I'm always busy. I got a long busy. I go here. I gotta go there But there's never like in detail what you're doing You I think that you have like this secret life that you live I'm a spy Maybe that you're yeah, you're like a double agent or something you know what I do

I ran the best by today right for the show to pick up this router that didn't like before the show and then after show You were we got a post the show. We got a do stuff. We got a meeting with our web team We got a call with our web guys at three. We got a bed. What do you want to know a lot of stuff talks to advertisers? Talks with listeners. We email every listener. I wasn't going to lead into the night. I Work late at night too. Sometimes yeah tonight. I'm having a sober free dinner. I mentioned that Friday night sober dinner? Sounds like a party. Jesus Christ and a group and a group for cake.

Barb, it's gonna be there. 10? 10 something like that. Who's gonna get naked? How many guys, how many girls? It's like half an half I think. Really? Yeah, who's gonna get naked?

I don't know. Probably nobody when we're all sober. Everyone's sober, sober January. I don't know. All these people are sober. Most of them. I just do it because your friends are doing it. I just figured it would be a good,

it would be good for me to just not to do anything. Just to see what happens in a month, I think I'll be a lot more productive. Not that I drink that much, but I just feel like I'm being healthy, going to the gym. It seemed a lot more stressed. I do. You were stressing over this technical stuff.

Well, because we started the show 20 minutes late today and people are waiting, it's free Friday, and we weren't starting on time. And that makes me tense and itch. Oh, so you have, what's that, what's it called when you itch? When you're stressed out, it's called. I don't know, but I do get itch. Kim Kardashian has it.

She does? Yeah, it's like, I don't know. I was about to say, I was about to say, how does it tell us this, but that's your breath. I don't know I was about to say how it tells you but I don't know that's your breath that's really funny okay anybody watching Kardashians around here I just started with my new television set but I only watched Courtney and Kim or Kim and that was not interesting no the card the one where she has the skin thing is is the Kardashians still on though the regular show?

It's off, but now it's gonna come back. What that's off then they do the spin off shows and when the spin off shows are over, then they go back to the regular Kardashians. That's what I'm gonna talk about. They're constantly taping all the time. It's crazy. That is crazy.

Can you imagine all the time? Okay. All the time, every day, every day, cameras in your face. I want the camera. Yeah, hello producers everywhere That must be must be not Okay pain during sucks. Hi Emily long time listen you like that. I feel like I might have read this one too

Maybe grab the wrong folder today Grab the wrong papers. It's okay Everybody's heard every single show. Okay, I'm gonna read this anyway. And we need sorry for anybody that's heard before. Yeah, maybe I didn't. Maybe I read it personally to myself. Long time listener, first time emailer,

I left my childhood religion and became a fan of sex toys in my 20s, listened to your show, and got tips which we used, and became more comfortable with my own sexuality as a result. But both myself and my fiance still waited until our engagement for intercourse. I don't think I read this. Oh, I saw a South Park episode about this last night.

About what? About waiting until you get married. Oh, people did that. Oh no, it was a family guy. Family guy, sorry. So anyway, they waited until their engagement for intercourse. However, once we got engaged and attempted intercourse for the first time, I was in a great deal of pain.

It felt like he was hitting a wall. This continued for months and I went to my OBGYN, got a gynecologist. So you suggested an estrogen cream, more elube, relaxation. What? OGBYN? Is a gynecologist.

God damn it. You've never known that. I didn't know what that was and I was reading commercials for it like a while back. Really? That's so funny It's up spread it up. Go to your OG BYN and they're like reading off some hotel Not hotel hospital Commercial I didn't know that's what I was telling everybody good. You're telling everyone to go to their granicologist's up

Stratics ups up stress. I don't know to say it up Stratics and gynecology. It's OBGYN I don't know how to say it, obstratics and gynecology. It's an OBGYN. She suggested estrogen cream, more lubrication, this failed and I was open about my continual vaginal pain. On my first visit to my new doctor, he diagnosed severe vaginal muscle issues, which meant that the muscles on either side of my vagina

are spasming involuntarily. He was very pleased that I was so open and comfortable with my sexuality and took charge of my own sexual destiny. One prescription later, and many dilator exercises later, we are now able to have sex. Thank you for the empowerment and healthy attitude towards sex that your show fosters. I hope it helps other women like me

to take charge of their sexuality from Ashley. So what Ashley is saying is that this show helped her feel more comfortable with her sexuality and open about it that she was able to go to her doctor and talk about sex. And I think that that is why we do the show and it makes me that's why I'm here on the planet. I learned something about the OGBYN. OBGYN. OBGYN. Yeah, because GYN has to be together at the end. So OBGYN. OBGYN. Yeah, because GYN has to be together at the end, so OB-GYN. OB-GYN. Yeah, and it's meant to learn something day two.

Oh my God. That's amazing. And it's like, well, people are crying. How did he not know that? You were, dude. How would you know? Guys wouldn't know that. I've never been to a gynecologist.

No, it's good times. Let me tell you, you put your feet up in starbs and they stick inside you. Sounds hot. It's not fun. So, how? We talked about this a recently, because I was like, my gynecologist once, it's a man. A lot of people go to women and he was like, you've nice abs and I thought that was kind of awkward and weird. I'm like, don't check out my abs. Just check out my vagina. Oh yeah. Thanks for talking to me about that. How's my vagina? How's my badge? Okay, we've got one more email. All right. What's wrong? No, nothing else.

You said all right, like you want to read Jonesing for Taco Bell right now. Okay, now is just looking at the time. Something you're sure. We've got time. Not understanding women. Emily, I have a couple questions about women that don't make any sense to me.

Mm-hmm. Number one, why do women lie? When they say, I am not that kind of girl. I need to get to know you a lot better before I jump into bed with you in the first, second, or third day. Here is the evidence. If the guy that wants to have sex with her is just an average guy, she's somewhat attracted to. Then this is what she says. However, you and I know that

if the guy who wanted to have sex with with her with her was called Brad Pitt and Tony of Endera's Orlando Bloom or ever her hot Hollywood crushes, then she would be having sex with them immediately without any problem. Why can't she just say to the average guy that she is not attracted to them and wish him well? As there are many other women who might find him attractive. Number two, and then we'll go back to these. Number two, women always say they cannot have sex

without getting to know you first or having a commitment. Fine, but that's not really true. Once again, we are back to my central point of this big life. If women claim they cannot have sex freely with a good looking stranger. Why is it okay when that stranger is Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or the hot exchange

student from Italy with an accent who looks like something out of a guest gene ad? I look forward to your thoughts on this as well. Lastly, I'm a professional musician living in LA. Early next year, 2012, I will be having a performance to which we'll be hosted by a well-known celebrity and I would like to invite you take care and look for the year from you cheers sam from los angeles california thank you sam thanks i'm okay

so why do women lie when they say i'm not that kind of i'm not saying that all women lie there are different times in life i don't that he's got some kind of you live in l.a. first of all oh god this is a universal thing this is not just a lot of well no but he's a big deal all the time what that women lie to go so he's a universal thing. This is not just LA. Well, no, but he's like This happens all the time what that women lie to guys. So he's saying that women should be more direct with men and say no It's not that I'm not that kind of girl. I'm just not that into you I mean eventually you might sleep with that guy, but She's just kind of on the fence initially because you know, yeah, you might not be

That the CK model or something like that right of course because you know, yeah, you might not be the the CK model or something like that. Right. Of course. Because you know what? All winter liars, guys are liars too. That's just a we're not all liars menace. This is how it works though. If you want that, or if you really need for that woman to sleep with you at that time, immediately when she says that, say, um, okay, and then be totally standoffish. And then she'll like turn around and feel like, oh my god, this guy is so understanding. And then she'll sleep with you right away, guarantee you it works every single time. Just don't for I don't think that's true, but I don't think that's every time.

I'm not saying is I've tested it. For you that's tested. So you kind of put you kind of pull back. I just pull back all together and go, all right right Well, if you don't want to do right now, I'm not gonna put any pressure on you and then I just go about My night and it's like continuing like everything's all good and then by that night. I'm already I'm hooking up with them So what you're saying is you don't pressure women to have sex you pull back and then they want you more That's just like the standard like law of science that if something pulls away so the other thing moves closer That's just like the standard like law of science that if something pulls away so the other thing moves closer

Yeah, it just it just this happens that way and I guarantee you if you do keep on trying to pressure them or talk about it You're not gonna get late. There are times. I mean, but his second point is that women women Oh, we say they can't have sex out first game to know you're having commitment and I think that's true I don't jump into sex with you. She wants to know why why we'll sleep with the state the hot exchange student. Yeah some hot construction workers outside and we're like oh I'm just gonna bone him right now. Because we know that he's these hot exchange student or contextual worker that made we don't have a relationship with or well sex with so Sam maybe these people really are in you. See some guys don't understand that. I know this is I'm trying to explain it. I'm trying to explain it. I'm trying to explain it. They're not. So if a woman likes you actually if I if I've liked a guy in the past, I would wait to have

sex. I would not want to rush into sex if I was, if a lot of women feel this way, that if they like someone, they actually want to delay sex, so they're taking more seriously. The guy doesn't like take advantage of her or think she's a slut or whatever it is. I think it's good to delay sex. I think it's important. I delay sex most times lately. I try to.

I think it's important to get to know someone first because then you get all caught up in the sex and then you forget that the person, you just think about the sex, you're attracted to the person sexually and you're not thinking about them emotionally who they are, you don't see the red flags because you've had sex with them and all that stuff. So that's what I've said.

That's back off immediately. That night I'm not saying don't stop calling them like next day because then they're going to think, oh, he just wanted to sleep with me. Like don't act like that. But if they tell you that, just back up. Just back up from see what happens. I just don't think it's sex or something. Yeah, I think that guys get all tripped out about women not wearing an sex,

so I think it's good to wait. So anyway, we gotta go. This has been a long show. Okay, sorry for starting late. Love everybody. Happy Friday, happy new year, happy life, happy weekend, all that stuff. Thanks everyone for, check us out on serious sexism.

Tonight, XMme 165, 6pm Pacific, 9 o'clock Eastern, and everyone have a great weekend. Thanks for listening, was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com