Sex With Emily - SWE: Relationship Status

Episode Date: March 18, 2013

Not only is Facebook sucking up all your time, but it is also going to ruin your relationship if it hasn't already. Your relationship status, compromising photos, and lack of cyber affection might contribute to the demise of your relationship. But all hope is not lost! Emily tells you how to survive a relationship on Facebook. Please support our sponsors: Max4Men, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Max4Men. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I need to tell you about one of the great companies that's keeping our show free for our listeners. Max for men. That's Max the number 4. Men is a product line all about maximizing male pleasure, performance, and attraction. So basically, everything men want but can't figure out how to get. One of the most popular products is the Max Arousal Pleasure Gel. It has ingredients known to arousal penis and increased male libido,

maximizing your pleasure during sex or masturbation. If you want to get the Max Arousal Pleasure Gel or any of their other amazing products, go to maxformen.com. That's the number four and use coupon code Emily25 for 25% off anything at Max for Men.com. That's the number four, and use coupon code Emily25 for 25% off anything at Max4Men. That's coupon code Emily25 for 25% off anything at Max4Men.com. Or you can visit sexwithemely.com and get all the info you need there for better sex. Hi everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I no longer have the Friends with Benefits program. My podcast is completely free so that you can always enjoy Saks with

Emily. Thanks for listening. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. From our information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to our podcast, send it for mailing list, our SSB and all that fun stuff. So thanks everyone for listening to the show. This is a quicky show. We're talking about a very, very important critical topic right now. It's very in the entire world. It's not just here in our home base in San Francisco.

This affects the world. The world. I mean, this comes up in every conversation and we're going to tell you right now, the top ways Facebook can be ruining your relationship. I've already heard horror stories. What's the horror story that you've heard? Oh, I know people, well, there's some percentages, like they said, one out of very seven marriages

that end in divorce is citing Facebook now. I've heard that. Is that an urban legend? No, it's true, it's true. And then also, I had friends that have been married for 14 years, and then their wife finds their high school boyfriend on Facebook, and they fall in love again, and then their wife finds their high school boyfriend on Facebook and they fall in love again and then they break up.

There's, yeah, it's constantly people reconnecting and they remember all the good things. Exactly. That's what we tend to do. We tend to put our old relationships on past relationships on pedestals. Yeah, and they're connecting and it's wanting up pretty bad. And the whole thing, the biggest thing now ever is changing your status on Facebook. Exactly. Well, that is number one. Oh, it is. Okay. Okay.

Okay, ready? Break it off. These are ways your Facebook can be ruining your relationship. Number one, your relationship status. Here's an immediate source of controversy, contributing to the difficulty of early dating ever been there you like a girl She likes you you date you share a bed you spend some time together everything's going well and splendid then oh no She asks are we like Facebook relations subsettis together? You react poorly i.e. You don't change your profile settings and suddenly, just like that, it's over. Well, friends, that's because to modern women, your Facebook relation status is the equivalent

of a high school promise ring. It's a public announcement that you've picked someone to stand by. Problem-being, you probably don't want to publicly announce anything of the sort. A good way to avoid this is by deleting this setting from your profile all together and making some righteous speech to hurt about how you are a private person. Oh, God. And feel your right to remain secretive even in perversely invasive technological age. Good luck. This could be both men and women because I feel like I've been with men a few years ago who wanted me to change my status and I would not.

And in fact, I have removed that whole, I don't have single on my page. I removed Facebook status. Do you, what do you have? I have a single. Would I don't have single on my page. I removed Facebook status. Do you, what do you have? I have single. Would you change it for someone? Yes, of course. We've talked about this. I totally disagree.

Even if I'm madly in love with somebody, I don't want the world to know that I'm, of course I'll talk about it on the show. Why? Because I don't want that it come to a page and be like, oh, you're in a relationship with so and so and then linked to his page, too much information. I don't want want everybody to know my dating. I would never, ever, ever do relationships. I would never date you then. Fine. It's over. It's over before it started.

Because it's so, it's so ridiculous. If you put enough to say that you're committed to this person, why not tell people? I don't think they need to know. I don't think that people need to know everything about you on Facebook. Okay? Because you want to keep your options open. Exactly what it is. Yes, it is. Just admit it. It's not options open.

It's an invasion of privacy. How's an invasion of privacy? Because I don't want to walk around with a sign on me that says I'm sleeping with so-and-so. If you want to be private then why are you on Facebook? Oh, stop it. You want to start with it because I can win this conversation really easily. It's your wrong. And we're moving on because it's not that I just want to keep my options open.

It's because I just think it's too much information. I'd like to be able to put the person's name in a relationship with Joe Shmo. I'm like, oh, now I got to click on Joe Shmo. I don't care. I don't want everyone to know. If I'm married, I think it's different. If you're married, it's okay to be like, but even if I was married, I'm going to be one of those people that just says married. I know you will.

I'm not going to be like married too, but who knows that's going to happen. Okay. So here's the next one. Unfortunate old photos on Facebook could be ruining your relationship. If she's your Facebook friend, she already knows too much. She's seen you two years ago when you had that stupid haircut five, eight, five years ago, after you killed off your acne, last week when she got too wasted to stand upright, if there's flaws in your behavior, and let's be honest, hopefully there are, or else you're certainly not human,

she's already seen him. For this reason, be fickle about being tagged in photos. Untag wisely. It may just save you from truly, uncontrolly considerable trauma. So be careful with photos. It's okay to untag yourself, just because someone tags you,

doesn't mean that you need, you can even ask someone to take down a photo. I think if there's a photo that you're afraid is gonna come back and bite you in the ass, either professionally or personally, get rid of that photo. Well, this is something I talked about in a couple of shows back,

is that you have an option where it won't be public if somebody tagged you in a photo. And that's the only one that I have an option where it won't be public if somebody tagged you in a photo. And that's the only one that I have. Okay. Set on my Facebook because people just love getting the worst photographs on me and putting them online. I have a really cute one of you on my phone

that I want to post. Really? Well, I'm gonna show to you first because I don't want to be upset. Yeah, the immediately when I get that notification that says so and so tag to photo view, I'm like, oh my God, I gotta get to my phone and see if I like it. And if I don't, I untag myself.

Not that I'm ever in compromising positions, but sometimes it's just, I look ugly. I am on the belly. You're what? In compromising positions. I bet you are. Okay, tagging her offensively. You know how sometimes when a woman asks if you,

if she looks good and you reply saying something you think is positive But actually it provokes whaling sobs and fuming screams from her Have you ever done that like a girl's like how do I look and you're like you look good? And then she gets upset somehow. This is that type of miscommunication a photo that you may completely find harmless May make her cringe cry or call it quit. So instead of being presumptuous, just let her know Hey, I uploaded some photos and she can feel free to tag them herself. Do not only tag yourself and not tag her, she'll definitely think you're trying to hide her. So be careful when you're in a new relationship, tagging photos, I wouldn't

just assume that you can tag. I would ask first. Okay, next one, lack of online affection. You may be one of those sensible lads who doesn't like to constantly post on people's profiles, but if you're dating a woman who is and you're trying to follow preliminary dating protocol, you better get hip to it. Girls like this eagerly, girl, okay, I don't know that I agree with this, but I'm going to read it. And then I want to talk about it. Girls like this eagerly await the day their newest flame will find the chance to post some

witty comment to their profile. When you don't, they think you're either too lazy to care or trying to hide from them, trying to hide them from your internet friends. And ideal excuse to be honest with you, when I really like someone, I don't like to interact them. I don't like to interact with them online as much. I think it's a security of our connection, don't you? So tell her that you think it's sheepens your relationship if you don't want to comment on her page.

Here's my theory on this. If I'm dating someone, A, we've talked about this in the past, I don't think you become friends right away on Facebook. I don't want to become friends with a new guy that I'm dating right away because I don't want to find out everything and I don't want him to find out everything about me right away. And I think there is a certain delay right now that's happening when people are dating and I'm finding this with a lot of friends.

There's like the day you become Facebook friends, but it doesn't happen on the first day I think typically what about in your world? Are you friends with everyone? You might be because your social media guy more so than I am yeah No, there's a couple people I don't ask for their Facebook profiles off the bat those two guys I was dating for a while which I'm not anymore We didn't become Facebook friends for months, like a month or two, and then we finally were like,

oh, you and Facebook me too. And then you immediately ended it after that. No, no, no, no, but I think, but what this is saying is that women, some women really want you to comment on their face. And I don't know, I assume they're women like that. I'm not like that. I don't care if we're dating and you comment on my page or not,

but some women might be like, oh, it means you don't love me, and you just gotta suck that out yourself. I get away with it because I tell everybody I use a program that updates all my networks at once. So I'm not really on Facebook. That's another good one. And that usually works.

Because it's the truth. Right. And then I actually, and we were just talking about this during our break off air That I'm really into the new program for the iPhone called Instagram And so I like follow people I like and then I comment on there and Instagram is basically like a Twitter, but just photographs and then you can comment people find you on Instagram if they want to just white menace I'm on there you're right menace follow me on there. Just white menace. I'm on there. You're right menace. Follow me on there.

Follow menace on Instagram. It's like my new addiction. Is it only for iPhone, not joy? It's only for iPhone right now. Okay, we'll be on the right soon. Just a moment for, will we? People love Instagram. It's so cool.

And he just posted a picture of me here in the studio. So you can check that out if you go to menace's white menace Instagram and you have an iPhone. And if you have an iPhone, you can also buy 101 sex tips from sex with them. Yes you can. It's my iPhone app. OK. Another way Facebook could be ruining your relationship is your exes invade. Your personal history is scrawled across this public form.

She can scroll through a blog of your recent past years and see who you date, how it went, what she looked like, and the romantic love notes posted. As with the photo on tagging, try to be savvy about deleting these little blips when you're starting to see someone new and curious. They have the delete option above comments for this reason in particular use it. Okay.

And then the next one is her exes invade. So this is really written for, it seems like more for a man, but I'm just saying that her exes invade. You think you want to know about her exes, but you don't. You never do. Unfortunately, now you don't have much of a choice. They're there. They're posting on her profile, on a profile picture, telling her, hey, sexy, you still got it. From an ex, this makes you live it. Chill your stuff, dudes. It doesn't mean anything. In fact, try to spin it

positively by using it to your advantage. Be different from the dude she ditched and used their internet trails as an example of what not to do. So I think the ex-factor, like you were saying, a lot of people reconnect with their X's, but even if you see, I was dating a guy recently, and he had a photo album of him, just him and his X, like two years ago, onification.

And I thought, because this is after we became friends, I was like, that's kind of weird. I mean, I was totally into it. And I was like, click, click, click, click. But it's also weird to see him with this woman. But I didn't really bother me, but I think what they're saying is a lot of times recent acts are still active with the woman's profile. And that could hurt you.

If you're like, why is this guy that you slept with three years ago commenting on how hot you are? Wouldn't that, would that bum you out as a dude? I don't think guys take it as much as women do not to be sexist because I never am. But, uh, I feel that women with their friends get together and they dissect Facebook every single little part of it. Like what he likes, movies, uh, comments, who's commenting on his page, his, his, his

photographs, uh, all's commenting on his page, his, his, his photographs. They did not obsessed. All the stuff that he does, because, and I'm not lying, because I'm around other women that are talking like this, like, oh my God, they get on the phone, like, did you see what he posted on his, oh, we do that all the time. Yeah, like, or my friend has had me, my, I've had a friend who has had me post things on her page, just so the guy she's dating will see it. Yeah, I've done that for her because she's like my best friend. It's like,

we say that I looked really hot last night and post that picture and I'm like, okay, I don't know. I can't say that I've ever had a conversation with my guy friends talking about how girl posted something on Facebook. It's my ever-check thing. We talk about it all the time. We do. You guys are obsessed. Yeah, and if we say we're not looking at your page, we are totally. I know. I know. I think that guys are looking at my ex, the one that you think I have an unhealthy relationship with, what I know. You do? In LA, he's always like, hot picture. You look, do you doesn't post this on my page, but he's always like, where were you last night? You look great, but he doesn't ever post on my page. Okay, poking. Poking is the virtual. I hesitate to say a don't-man or pinching someone playfully in elementary school. Yeah, it means I think you're cute, but I'm a coward. Unless you're already dating a girl and you know she's

the type that would get a kick out of something like this, don't do it. It's too controversial. You need to be a good move and potentially very quickly kill your game. So don't poke. I've got like 50 pokes. I've never poked back. I have never poked. I've never poked either. I've never poked anyone. I've poked back. Like if it's someone that I know a friend has poked me like a guy. It's always guys. I've been poked by like 50 pokes in my in my in my poking inbox. But I but like some people poked me just like funny that I know and I like poked back. But I never initiated a poke nor do I pay attention Yeah, I've definitely poked outside of Facebook right

From Facebook, but never like virtually poked. What do you mean you've poked outside? You've poked someone in the poke in the poker. Okay more time stealer. It's Facebook This is how can ruin your relationship because Facebook is a time stealstealer, spending too much time on your iPhone, checking out the latest upload, step away from the electronic appliance. Nothing can kill a physical relationship faster than infatuation with cyberspace, particularly if it's for Facebook, a service that advertises interactive communities because she will infer that your internet community is more important than your interaction with her. Moreover, the constantly post and upload will only make you look all too available and on interesting.

Get a hobby dude, it's healthy for you and way harder than being able to type as fast as a 1950s secretary without a diploma. So step away, don't be too much on Facebook. Do you know what happens? What? This what happens with me in relationships. You know me, I'm glued to myself all the time.

Yeah, but it's different, your social media dude. Yeah, but I end up dating women that are not really into it. And then I get them into it. Uh-oh. And then they become worse than me. And we're sitting at... And then they stop it. Yeah. And then we're... No, not that they're stalking me. Then we sit at lunch and we're both not talking because we're both on our phones. Oh, that's bad. I hate that. Happens every single time. Seriously? You're always on the phone, even in between

like recording shows here, you're like on the phone. You are on this double checking on. But I think, we know it's hilarious that I was out the other night with a friend for dinner and it was funny because I went to the bathroom and he, I guess it was kind of a date, whatever, I'm not gonna get into it. But I went to the bathroom and I was really quick.

Like I went to the bathroom and I came out and he was like on it. like the second you're on a date and they go to the bathroom, who everybody checks their phone. They check their phone. I don't know that he was checking Facebook but I saw him like doing the like, it's in my pocket and I'm looking down

so you can't tell that I'm looking at my phone thing. But I feel like when every year on a date with someone the second, the other person gets up, you're checking your Facebook or your phone. Yeah, and it's kind of rude. It's so weird because there's this girl that I know for years that I'd really like

and she was not into all this stuff. And you know me, again, I'm all over it. Then she started really getting into it. And since I really like her, I don't check my phone when I'm around her and then she's constantly on her phone the whole time. And now I know how it feels Right see you it's crazy. You should be on a date and just be focused in present in the moment. Yeah, I think cell phones are such a

Distraction and can really be harmful in relation to it. My brother and his wife They have a super healthy relationship. They've been together a long time and he's been really used to be obsessed with his phone But he made a conscious choice like when I'm out with her We're going out on date night. Like, I'm not bringing my phone with me. And you can do that too, Menace. Yeah, I will. It's on the list.

It's on the list of things to tackle. OK, being a fan of the wrong fan page, what groups you join, what pages are your favorite, what you virtually promote, all of this goes into the boiler of a brain when summing you up. So be sure to be choosy about what evitations and pages you suggest. I.e. pages with nicknames and or connotations concerning Ronchi sex, getting wasted, geeky group names.

Otherwise, what you thought of as a simple click to support a friend may simply stop your sex life. I don't know about that. I really look at people's what they like. But if you like sex with Emily, that's actually a cool thing. So you should like sex with Emily on Facebook, right? Now, because I'm cool

But but Ron she sex pages not so cool. I can't even Think of the ones that I like okay. I do like sex family. Yeah, I do of course, but I Says that I like a hundred and fifteen pages. Not I don't even know which one's I like right right? I think that what they're there Maybe you're gonna have to look into this, but what their new profile changed everything that you listed Like movies and stuff like that. They automatically connected those to the pages So now you like all the like the goonies page and you like you like the Simpsons page Is that the new Facebook that you have to select? I haven't selected it yet I haven't changed my profile over to the new Facebook.

I like the old Facebook. I don't like it, they keep changing it. It makes me anxious. They changed it a lot. I know. And Twitter, I'm sticking with the old version. Me too. I'm still on the old version.

Me too. I don't go to a new one. OK, this is the last way that I'm going to talk about. You're going to screw your life up, Facebook. But you're gonna screw your life up and you're really stuck with Facebook. Pictures worth a thousand words. When it comes to Facebook pictures,

know that she considers your profile picture the ultimate announcement. Whoever finds their way into your profile picture is in her mind given high priority in yours. So whoever finds their way into your profile picture is in her mind given high priority in yours. So even if your pal took a hilarious photo of you at a bar with three Budweiser beer girls, or a view in your best girlfriend doing something hilarious together, avoided all costs advertising this as a profile pic. To her this means she's

not good enough to be your favorite. And even if this is absolutely true, it's something she absolutely doesn't need to know. So I think it's true. My ex who you think I have an unhealthy relationship, but I don't. Yeah. He had this really weird ugly picture of him on his face. So it looked like like he was drinking. He had a picture. It would look like he was in a frat party. Yeah. His best friend was like behind him making a scary face and he was like, look drunk. And I'm like, that is the worst profile picture I've ever seen. It's finally changed. It was up there for like months. And finally, I was like, dude, you need it. It was up there for months, and finally I was like, dude. You need to.

And I want him to get laid. And I'm like, I think that's not helping you. So we took it down. I, I'm trying to think, the only time I ever have photos with other people, they're famous. That's it. Yeah. I don't have any other photos with any other people.

I have pictures. That's a good idea. I want to mean Bill Clinton. Nice. I like that. I'll do that. other photos with any other people. I have pictures. That's a good idea. I want to mean Bill Clinton. Nice. I like that. I'll do that. That's some points for that.

I know that I don't like that good, but I'm supposed to. It's actually in my picture of pages. Okay, that's all we get time for now. So I help Facebook isn't ruining. I hope it's enhancing your life Facebook. But here's some. I hope it's getting you laid. I hope it's getting you laid, but here's just some little tips.

Take along the way. So thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I need to tell you about one of the great companies that's keeping our show free for our listeners. Max for men.

That's Max. The number four, men, is a product line all about maximizing male pleasure, performance, and attraction. So basically everything men want, but can't figure out how to get. Men need to overcome their fears and embrace the amazing pleasure of the prostate. Max G stimulating prostate gel is perfect if you're just starting to explore the male g spot or if you're prostate veteran. It increases both sensation and arousal. If you want to get the max stimulating prostate gel or any of their other amazing products go to maxformen.com that's the number four and use coupon code Emily 25 or 25% off anything at max for men. That's coupon code Emily 25 or 25% off anything at max for men. Or's coupon code Emily25 for 25% off anything at max for men.

Or you can visit sexwithendly.com and get all the info you need there from BetterSex. Thanks for listening.