Sex With Emily - SWE: Seduction

Episode Date: April 27, 2012

Emily is throwing a Kegel Camp Keger and Menace is having a Taco Bell truck at his future wedding. A 99-year-old man divorces his wife for cheating him in 1940, your penis is probably bigger than you think it is, and you should never introduce your ex-boyfriend to your current boyfriend.Emily shares how to seduce women from intellectual foreplay to subtle compliments, from conversation to getting laid. Emily breaks down how women can be better in bed by initiating more sex, caring less about what you look like during sex, and acknowledging that for many men sex is much more than a casual act. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Book into his eyes Then the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betruma eyes they call them a lie on me Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair standard, oh my

The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's drinks? And The girls gotta understand it so much. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play good.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. So many things in between. Everything you've ever wanted to know about sex, but we're afraid to ask. You can ask us, because we have improved millions of people's sex lives just by listening to the show, right? Millions, millions.

And I've been going through Alvaro shows lately, and it's fun. We're gonna have them available. We've got like 400 shows. Oh no, I don't wanna hear any of the old shows at all. Never when you got bikini wax on the air, I found it. It's so good, we're gonna post that. F that.

Do you know what's funny? What? I was going through my Gmail, because on Gmail, you can actually click, I figured out where you click, and you see the oldest email. Like, it's a very first email that you sent. And I have over like 40,000. When you have like a ridiculous amount for some reason,

all that porn that you sign up for and there's old emails like Oh six for me like you and I talking about some stuff and things like that is pretty funny and then I also found a Aircheck of me I don't know what I was doing. I was on some radio show and I sound like a little kid know what I was doing. I was on some radio show and I sound like a little kid. Right. Six years ago, just a little kid, a little baby. You did it a baby. And then you corrupted me and stole me. I corrupted men as he was assigned to my, I would be both on the radio live on the

radio and he was assigned as my board engineer, right? Producer? Producer. Well, they wanted me to be your producer. You're an producer. I never told you that. No, you never produced me. No, but just like I was

unproducible. He helped lead me till this day. It's still still the fact. But you know, it's gotten a lot better. Right. We love it. No, no, just said that because you didn't do Tresha radio before. I never been on the radio. I started this show as a podcast in my living room. And then they offered me a live radio show. I was like, cool. Yeah. And I was like, what do you mean? I can't say dick. That's what they mainly wanted me just to. And men is what have little heart attacks every day. It was a good times.

But we have a lot of great shows that we're going to be posting. Just pay attention to the sectors of the only website. Sexweamly.com. It's the place to be. Get on there. And today's show. Can I interrupt you when we talk? You like to do that. You guys guys because all the topics that we cover is on I don't know if you express that fact enough

That every topic they go over you have like a little mini recap many recaps every single day You can go to sex on me.com there'll be something new. It's not like you know the old site like a long time Yeah, when it was just the show now There's a lot going on there and I we want you to all sign up for the mailing list because we're gonna have some exciting announcements soon and things are rocking over there, over here, over there, everywhere. So today's show, we're talking about seduction.

It's this seduction show. How to get her, find her, keep her, bang her. And then we're also talking about six ways women can be better in bed. Okay, good. And today's show is brought to you by Good Vibrations. GoodVibes.com is where you have you never had a sex toy really at this point in life with over 50% of all women having sex toys and men really enjoying sex toys during intercourse.

Go buy Cochrane, go buy a sexy book, you can buy my book Hot Sex over 200 things you can try tonight. There's lots of things you can buy at GoodVibes.com. Use coupon code GVMly15 for 15% of purchases at Good Vibes by Hitachi Magic Wand, by anything from Lilo, Jiju, J-E-J-O-U-E, is my favorite, the Mimi vibrator from Jiju, I'm loving it.

So go try out some of these toys and buy a game, do something fun there. And visit their stores if you're ever in the Bay Area. If you're in the Bay Area, you should visit their stores. Their stores are amazing. And we have a new thing by app Kegel Camp. If you show them that you own Kegel Camp, then you can get a discount on their Kegel Ball, all their Kegel exercises. The Kegel Balls. Which I had in my vagina the other day. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah, I took them out. But I had them in my vagina for a day, they measure you, they do your keglock exercises, you can do your kegles, men, and women. They can't do an app in any way, that'd be hilarious. They're not connected to an app, they're just weighted balls in my vagina. I wanna know if it's walking funny. They're probably low.

What about the balls fell out? No, what happens is your keglock muscles are working to keep the balls in all day long, so you're working while you're not working. You're working your kegle muscles are working to keep the balls in all day long. So you're like working while you're not working. Like you're like working your kegles, but you're just doing stuff. I'm just saying, ladies don't wear skirts when having the balls. No, right. That'd be embarrassing.

Yeah. Oops, there goes my kegle balls rolling down straight. Oh, what are those? Right. Just my kegle balls. No, I was wearing pants. It was all good. And I actually forgot about them until I went on drinking that night.

I was like, I went to the bathroom and I was like, ooh, I got balls in me. I got to pull them out. Wow. But really, it's cool, they're for women, the balls, but kegels are for everyone, but they, you know, strengthen your things. So happy Friday. Happy Friday.

What the hell, it's good to be on Extreme Talk XM165 and we are gonna get into some good sexy stuff today, but what about this weekend, what are you up to? This weekend, I told you this story. My buddy, his niece, couldn't go to prom. Oh, right. Couldn't turn the money right away or something, whatever. So me and my friend have been planning an entire day. It seems like I'm going to prom again. Oh, that's so cute.

So I called up my buddy at Pixar. They're going to screen a private movie there, just them in this giant theater at Pixar. Get a ticket tour of all that, and then right when that leaves, I mean, right when that done is done, they're gonna hop in the limo and go to a television station where they're doing a TV taping of like,

the thing it's called Dance Party, they do it here in the Bay Area, on local television, where people just like dance in front of the cameras, very old school. And they get to be on that show, because I made a call with their producers, on local television where people dislike dancing from the cameras, very old school. Right. And they get to be on that show because I made a call with their producers.

And so they'll be on TV. I'm not gonna go out and run some. Is this a bunch of girls? No, it's just a, it was gonna be her date. Oh, so it's the two of them. There's the two of them, so they're gonna get girl. So you're like a shop around. No, not really.

I'm not gonna go out with them to the TV station or go around town. Oh, but you just planned it all. Yeah Okay, that's how I roll great And I need I need your help planning my keggle kegger that everyone in the Bay Area is invited to it's gonna be very soon It's a kegger for kegels and we're just looking for a place But we talked about the beer or such working time Oh, it's a beer okay, we're gonna get some beer. We're gonna drink kegels and keggers and do your keggers kegels

Do you know what I found today? I follow I follow this new Twitter profile. It's called What the F-Facts and they share a story today. It's really effing good. I want to hear what your thoughts are. Okay, because I already know the answer that you're gonna give me but I'll just want to see how good I am anyways Upon finding out about an affair his 96-year-old wife had in 1940 a 99-year-old man divorced his wife ending the 77 year-long marriage Wow 1940 you know what year it is? Yes, how did he find out doesn't say I doesn't say he ended it I'm sure

There were other issues going on and he probably just looking that as for as an excuse to leave the relationship He's 99 years old and he kicked that bitch to the curb more power to them now. I mean the hell yeah I don't care when you cheated. I don't care if it was 1920 I don't care when you cheated. I don't care if it was 1920. Biotch, if you cheat on me, you're out the door. I need more details to happen to me. I'm gonna take my 99-year-old ass outside and I'm gonna find me a new hot thing. Maybe like a 75-year-old. Exactly.

Just a throw it in her face. Oh my god. I wonder how he find out from 1940. Maybe she told them. Maybe she just told them. Maybe she's like, oh, I figured I have this guy. Actually, I feel really bad for both of them. If that's true, everything was bliss for the last 70 years and then all of a sudden he's like, the last 77 years and everything was great with them. And all of a sudden he's like, you were with another guy or out. I hope there's more to the story like they've been fighting lately or something. Fighting lately after 77 years of marriage.

Oh my God. So what are your thoughts? Do you think he did the right thing? No, I think that cheating has got to kill a relationship. I think that kill it. That's the next cheating principle. You want to be able to do it when you get married. That's why. That's not true.

I think that cheating brings up a lot of issues in a relationship, and a lot of couples can use cheating to strengthen their relationship. It doesn't have to end their relationship. But since he's nearing the end of his life, I can see him. That's a weird, focused, focused marriage bull crowd to make people feel better about themselves

after doing something horrific like cheating on somebody. No, no, it's true. It's true that it's the same. Some couples, it's ruined their relationships and some couples, it's made their relationship stronger. It ruins every relationship. It ruins it, but sometimes it brings up issues that you guys have not been able to discuss

before. The whole thing, make it stronger, is tainted for the rest of your life. It is tainted and you don't forget, but you can improve and get stronger. It doesn't have to be a deal breaker. It's dumb. You're dumb. I think it's dumb. We'll think it.

You know what? You get married to be with each other for the rest of your life. I'm sorry. If you don't want to do something like that then don't get married Simple is that sometimes things happen in relationships where they if you want to go bang other chicks get a divorce Don't try to bang other chicks on the side honey. She was like 20 20 years old. Who knows that? 96 year old whore got what was coming to her that that ninety six year old or got what was coming to her

i'm not saying anything else i'm just saying that we can't draw conclusions there from a tweet uh... okay we've got our own sex in the news here sex in the news till six hours after death do you part Egyptian farewell intercourse law will allow for sex with dead spouses. Oh no. Egyptian husbands will soon be legally allowed to have sex with their dead wives for up to

six hours after their death. The controversial new law is part of a raft of measures being introduced by the Islamist Damned Parliament that will also see the minimum age of marriage lower to 14. The subject of a husband having sex with his dead wife was in May 2011, when a Moroccan cleric said marriage remains valid even after death. Why do they want to bone their dead wives? It's something weird about the Egyptians.

I know, I've heard this. This has been coming up for a while. Yeah, it's been actually been coming up lately. Also, one of those fact things that I followed On Twitter you can you can learn so many miscellaneous things anyways They said that they used to hold on to the bodies in the Egyptian days Because they're afraid when if they gave the body right away that the guys that did the bombing and all that stuff would have sex with them So they would hold on to the body for like a week So decompose and then they would give them the body.

Oh my God. What the F man? What the F? It gives you, it gives a funny question because we brought this up on the Southern Radio Show that he did where, all right, Jessica Alba just happened to like pass away right in front of you and the body's still warm.

Would you have sex with it? No. Would you have sex with it? No. Would you have sex with the body? What's the point? She just died like 30. There's no eye contact. There's no foreplay. She can't suck on your weiner.

She might have died like 30 seconds ago. No. Honey, that's gross. Let her rest in peace. Would you do it? Yes or no? No. I'm not saying I would.

I want to do it. I wouldn't do any of these dead people. But do you know how many people said they would? It was disgusting. Disgusting. People who haven't gotten laid in Centuries there's so many people that are listening right now. They go. Oh, I'm only 30 seconds man. Maybe Poor Jessica Alba rock of her body if anything happens. That's gross to me. I'm sorry I love you. Love you Jessica. I would never do that to you. I would maybe take a picture with you

I don't want to die around you men. I'm maybe take a picture this hand a hand. Oh, you just want a picture with you. I don't want to die around you, menace. Okay. What? I would maybe take a picture, this hand of hand. Oh, you just want a picture with her. Yeah, I'd be like, this proper up. Just proper up and put my, put my arm around her. I'm like, I'm chilling with Jessica Aula last photo. Yeah, you would do that. You're a media whore.

I would have sex with her though. No, but you take a picture and make it look like she was visiting me at the office or something. Yeah, it's my home, Jessica Aula. She's looking a little tired today. I think it's time. Okay, mixing it up one tenth of straight married couples in the u.s. are in a racial

of course yeah man the two thousand ten cents is noted that the highest number in a racial marriages in america's history noting a twenty eight percent jump over the past decade great or greater social acceptance of the unions and demographic shifts throughout the country are thought to be the two largest contributing factors to the increase. Unmarried straight couples reported 18% in a racial while the highest proportion belonged to same unsex, to same sex unmarried partnerships which showed a 21%. So Hispanic person and the other identity as non-Hispanic as well as comment.

That's not as a surprise, is it? We are a melting pot. Not these days. God bless America. Yeah, not at all. I barely even date white women. I know you don't date women, do you? I'm a white guy.

I wish. I don't. I mean, I think it's maybe because my upbringing, I didn't like hang out with any other white people until I was like 13 because just because the area that I lived in. So that's who you're attracted to? No, I'm attracted to, uh, I don't know, I date like land girls and Asian girls and stuff like that.

Mostly predominantly. Yeah, but I date. So what girls need not apply? Need not apply. I'm just saying white girls you're on the, on the low end of the list. They're just kind of boring Yeah, all white girls are boring. I'm not that I say all the stupid white man

I'm just saying that it's not all on the top of the list. It's just no, but just not anymore. I mean, what do I learn from them? What do they have to give me? I don't know But it's like if you date somebody you can learn something a whole like entire culture You're interested in their culture. I you know me. I'm very interested in history and things like that Okay, well, that's good So that's interesting so you're dating an Asian woman and you want to be involved without her rituals meter family Go with her to church or whatever Yeah, but I honestly honestly I probably date more

Landwomen than Asian women that women are hot but see being a white guy, if you date one Asian girl, oh, you're the white guy with the Asian fetish. Do they do that? One girl makes it a fetish? Oh yeah, like, oh, you get typecasted as the white guy that loves Asian girls. I usually think a typecast comes if you dated Savrola and Arale, perhaps.

There was one thing that was ridiculous, though. I was dating this Vietnamese girl, and she had roommates. And the roommates boyfriend was like totally like sucked into the culture. Like he wore like the Vietnamese clothes. He like learned the language. And he was a white guy.

He was a white guy. And now that's a guy that has a fetish. Right, there are other guys who the guys like to do the like. That's what I do. This is totally overboard where he just like. What do you think it is about the Asian women? What is it about the Asian women?

I don't know, I think they're attractive. They're very good looking. Do you know who's really good looking? Half Japanese, half white girls. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, true Very beautiful discriminate. I don't Girl who and Whitney went wild scores 5.8 million in lawsuit for force Tapelessness a woman who danced for cameras and the girls gone while masterpiece sorority girl or G2 One 5.8 million from the video company after claiming she never wanted to expose her breasts

Tamara said she was just having fun at the rum jungle club in She said she had fun at the rum jungle at the rum jungle When a worker for girls gone wild lifted her tank tap revealing her nipples The woman claims the 2004 incident as a herter marriage and caused some members of her very Catholic conservative family to shine her. She wants a 5.8 million. She doesn't want the Catholic people to know that she goes to the rum jungle. See, it's just whatever. That wasn't right though.

If he lifted her shirt, that's totally not cool. Yeah, he lifted a big lift. But don't try to say you're all holy when you're going to the rum jungle and you don't want your Catholic friends to find out. Yeah, well, she got 5.8 million because someone lives in the show. It's like I said. I'm like, man, they're always famous.

Just for doing nothing, just for showing your nipples oops by mistake. Yeah, she's just ballin' the now controlling now. But that she got money, yeah. I wonder how her Catholic friends feel about that now. Maybe she's very Catholic and it really bothers her. Oh, I'm sure she's. Just that night of the rum jungle,

maybe she had a condor head. She's going to wipe her tears with $100 bills on how sad she is. How sad she is. I'm pretty woman-caused, jeweler, $500,000 man-hunt ensues. Oh, no. Erica Cooper, aka Bianca Williams, is a savvy, if not quite sharp, prostitute who are allegedly swiped half a million dollars of uncut diamonds from a hapless gem trader. And is now the target of an NYPD manhunt.

She met her John, a jeweler named Kurt at Whiskey Park on Central Park South, wearing a sexy short black skirt and held pump. She's cycled up next to Kaiser as he guzzled vodka and sodas after losing on a deal of some more stones, all insured blah blah blah. After sex, she waited until Kaiser was sleep and made off with the bag of diamonds. See the Robbie fell asleep.

I know. This is your biggest nightmare. Menace is afraid of getting tied up because the woman's going to steal the stuff. But her lack of foresight may work against her as she was captured on security cameras, leaving the building and gave Kaiser her real phone number, which they've used to identify her blah blah blah. Remitiate.

Yeah. She was young, hot, beautiful face, but flat chested instead of the guy they caught her. Oh, but flat chested. What the hell? Little dig there. So she's a little flat chest big, fat and deal. That's big act for sex in the news. Was there anything else happening here?

That's so funny though. If you read that back Somebody's reading that in the head like oh, what if she saw my diamonds. We caught her and she was fat boobs anyway Yeah, yeah, I get it Steve stealing stealing money stealing diamonds, okay, no not good at all So we've got some emails from the people and what are the people saying these days? The people are emailing us at feedback at sexwithemily.com. We love hearing from you, answering any questions you have about sex relationships and everything

in between. And everything in between. Especially the in between. Yeah, it's mostly in between. Okay, dear Emily, I enjoy your podcast very much. It has taught me a lot about sexuality, which is good because my classes in high school didn't go into much detail. Because they said, you won't need to know about any of that stuff.

At any rate, I've read some of the other questions and heard things on the podcast about masturbation. I've heard people say they masturbate a lot or a little and you say that's okay, but what if you don't masturbate at all? I'm a 19 year old woman. I've had one sexual partner, and he used to ask me how often I masturbated. He thought when I was lying, when I told him I don't. I do get aroused and I have a working libido,

but I guess I just prefer sex. Is it normal to enjoy just being with others and not being with yourself? Thanks for listening all the best, Nicole, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, California. Okay, Nicole, listen, nothing wrong with that at all. I actually did not masturbate until I was about 20. I was one of those women who it never occurred to me

to masturbate. I never thought about it. I never touched myself. I never had one of those weird experiences riding a horse when I was five years old. Like everyone else did with it at a orgasm. So I would say that I can totally relate to you, and I don't think I think it's totally normal to not masturbate and to just enjoy being with others. But my question for you is the reason why masturbation is so great for women and for men, but specifically

for women is because you can truly learn your body and what makes you feel good. So it's taking the time to masturbate whether it's like drawing yourself a bath and just touching yourself. You can find other origin and zones and things that turn you on. I'm wondering if you've orgasms during sex. You said that you really like having sex and not masturbating and I just want to make sure that all your needs are being met because if you're not orgasming, a great way to figure out how to do that is to masturbate is to use a toy or use your fingers and figure out what turns you on so that you can bring

that into the relationship. That's what I gotta say about that. Why are you laughing? No, nothing. You always promote the toys. Well because sex toys are awesome because a lot of women can't have orgasms or don't know it makes them feel good. And the thing about a sex toy, you can get a great sex toy from Jimmy Jane.

Jimmy Jane.com, use coupon code spring for $25 off purchases of $100 or more. Jimmy Jane makes great entry-level vibrators. They're not too, some of them are more powerful than others, but they're great to use during intercourse. They're great to use alone. They're waterproof.

They're beautiful. I love others toys. Jimmy Jane.com check alone, they're waterproof, they're beautiful. I love all those toys, jimmyjangit.com, check about. But yeah, sex sum women, I should tell her to get the rock box at 19 years old. Oh my God, I have the rock box at home. It's the strongest vibrator on the planet and sitting in a bag in my house and I'm afraid of it. It looks like a power tool, did I show it to you?

No, you didn't show it to me, but I've heard about it. I'm just saying. It's a, it looks like a power me, but I've heard about it. I'm saying it's a brown, it looks like a power to like it could like a drill a hole. Why are you just ladies? Why are you just going to be double vagina with that? There's no penis that can recreate something like that. I know, but what it can create, it's like a touchy magic wand. It's like a drug. Once you ride it once, you never get to want to ride anything else again. Oh don't have to look at what you're saying. You don't have to look at what you're saying. Oh, that's not true.

It's not true. Okay. So anyway, I just want to say, that's in the form of an old computer. You're totally normal. Everyone wants to know if they're normal, my normal, my normal. You're normal, you're fine.

Unless it's like a problem. Unless it's a problem in your life, you're normal. How's that? We're all good. We're all normal. Menace, you are not normal. I am totally normal. You're normal. I am the normal one here. Yeah, compared to you

Hello, Emily I'd previously sent an email to your talk show not knowing about your personal email However, I have anxiety or fear issues when it comes to approaching women to ask them out because I feel that I'm too small and an Adequate I've never been told that it's too small But I seem to think that it is so I feel uncomfortable when it comes to having a relationship. I've had many one-night stands, but I'm getting tired of that and want something a little more fulfilling.

Do you have any suggestions on how I can get myself out of this cycle and gain more confidence when it comes to approaching women? Thanks. From DRH, PS, I really like your show, came across it on my droid razor. Okay, if no one's ever told you that your penis is small,

you haven't been ridiculed for it. I bet your penis is just fine. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not sure why you're having a lot of one-night stands. I don't know if they're not returning your calls, but I would think that something happened along the way where you've come to believe that your small penis is his hindrance.

I don't even know if you have a small penis. But I can tell you that there are men out there with all different sized penises that work for all different types of women and men and that you've got to somehow, and I'm gonna see therapists about this, but talk it through because if it's preventing you from dating and meeting other women and

going out there because you have this this unsustainuated fear around your penis size it's just going to keep getting worse. So I would talk to someone about it because it sounds like it's just getting in the way. Men is stills with this all the time. All the time. But the penis thing is hard. Like I mean guys, how do you know? I mean, I don't know.

Maybe it is a little smaller. It doesn't mean you can't have great sex. And sometimes guys think they have a small penis when they really don't. They really don't. They really don't. A lot of men fear like that's their number one fear in your penis just not.

Because you look at a porno. Yeah, don't watch porn. And they actually see some of those guys in real life. They're like tiny dudes and they just have regular size penis. That's why it looks actually large. Right, right, right, right. Like super short. Like watch. Okay. Hey, this is doesn't have to do anything with porno, but watch the The Jersey Shore, right? Watch the guys on there. You think they're like these big cute buff guys. Ronnie who's the buffest guy on there I'm a foot taller than him and I'm 51010". Wow, he's short, that's short.

He's super short. But the guy looks huge on the television, like he's... Television makes you look big. I wonder if I'm going to look big on television. I'm going to look like I'm 400 pounds on TV. By the way, you're going to be on TV. You're going to have your own Bravo series. I have my own Bravo TV show coming out this summer, everyone.

It's called Misadvised. Go to Bravo TV and search Misadvised. I'll take you to the whole page. You have a bunch of sexy pictures on there that you don't like. But I don't love. But you can talk about, it was a very glam shot.

I got my hair, they'd teased my hair. I'm gonna start drama right now. I'm gonna say you're the star of the show because they put you in the middle. Just saying that. Just saying that all the other girls are gonna get mad. But I'm just gonna say that right now.

You're the star of the show, they put you in the middle. I mean, don't they do that with the star of the show. I Don't know is that what you think? I'm saying it myself and two other women I'm gonna call TMZ right now and says there's already drama No, I love the other women on the show Julie Allison and Amy Lauren. They're awesome But I yeah my pictures in the middle I don't know why kids. You're the star We have not seen the footage yet,

but I think it's gonna be pretty funny. You can watch trailer on bravoTV.com. Yes, good. It's coming at menaces and it weighed too much. So it's telling the truth though. Man. The like, get menace back here because you such a asshole to you.

No, you can say. Tell it to me straight, blah, blah, blah. Okay. It's being a truth. Oh, you hate that. Did I tell it to me straight blah blah blah. Okay. Oh, you hate that Then I tell it to you straight. I love you because you got all these guys kissing ass all the time Oh, dude, but do we never talked about my drama? We didn't I mean we don't have to stop to you. I thought you didn't want to talk about I thought it was hilarious and relatable. I

Thought we I thought we should talk about it Okay, you're you're down We didn't talk about it. Okay. You're you're down We didn't talk about it on the area what happened last time because you didn't want to talk about it on Friday I Said maybe next week, which this is next week We could talk about it. Okay. All right last Friday everybody. I don't think I want you to tell it No, I'll set it up. Okay. I won't sell the whole thing. I've been dating this guy. Hold on. Okay.

This is just what happened. Last Friday was 420, which is a giant holiday in the city of San Francisco for some reason. I don't know why, but people really like the party hard on this day. So you were out in the park. It was a beautiful day. You called me up.

You're like, hey, menace, come out to the park. And I was with one of my other radio DJ friends and I said, hey, why not get a go meet up with Emily go to the park and Sit down with Emily with my other radio DJ friend and immediately your boyfriend or whatever your significant other just and wants to leave Takes off he wants to go and I'm like what is it it is it something that we did and then no come to find out I have an ex-boyfriend who's going through an emotional time right now and he called me and said what do you do when I said I'm at the park because everyone was at the park Dolores Park and he said I'm heading to the park I said well come find me there's literally

thousands of people there but he came to find me at the park. And so I was with the new guy that I'm dating and then the guy I was dating right before him, I invited to come join us. Right. The not like a guy that you dated 10 years ago. No, I dated him right before the other guy. Right before the new guy. So anyway, we always entertain them both at the park, but at the park. Did you tell the old guy on the phone that you're with your new guy? Yeah. I love all my exes.

We're all friends. We're all guys at F and Ashole because you know what, if I knew that you were hanging out with your new boyfriend, I would not go hang out. It doesn't matter. That's the whole San Francisco thing.

We're all friends. Is your exes swing or something, everything's all good. We can all hang out together. It was like, he's actually going through a breakup right now. He's really sad He misses this girl he just broke up with he feels really depressed and I've been like there to cheer him up Not in like a sexual way, but in a friendship way, so I was like yeah I mean my guy should be secure that I'm with him

No, don't try to pull that that's not okay. It was a bad choice because I did at one point for my arm around my axe And just said in Front of the new guy she's dating. It was not a good move. I'm not proud It wasn't great for me So the knee wrote off in his motorcycle and got mad and I feel bad and Trying to justify it. I'm not it was a Let me just tell you because I am so confident and secure in my relationships with the men in my life. And most of them, my baby daddy, my dog is an expert.

That's you. You need to be considerate of the person you're dating. I don't care how you feel about the situation. You're right. I shouldn't have answered the phone. You can be the most confident person in the F and world. It doesn't matter. It's about the person you're dating.

It's not about you. I agree. Well, bottom line, my behavior hurt the person I're dating is not a guy. I agree. Well, bottom line. My behavior hurt the person I'm dating and I apologized profusely and it won't happen again. Good. I made a mistake. Happy. But it's because I'm such a free, so open spirit. What are my friends to be friends? Can we all get on? Everybody in the park. Yeah, we're in the park. It's 420, whatever people. I mean, come on. I'm not banging him anymore. It's not cool.

It wasn't cool. Just because I hurt someone's feelings that I care about. But yeah. And then we stopped at the store and I felt bad because I knew that there was something going on and you ran in the store and I just I answer the phone because I didn't want him to think that you weren't answering his calls. I know. Well, thank you for taking my time.

Because I didn't want to have like drama. I didn't want to have to go through that drama. I'm going to have to hear about it. So then you tell him that I'm running it. Yeah. Don't answer my phone. Why? Menace is like, I got back.

He's like, your boyfriend called. I answered. Don't answer my phone. I just said you ran into the store because if you know what? If I was going through an argument and I try to call you and you weren't picking up, then I would be pissed. You are not my mediator. I was trying to cool down the situation.

It was pretty. Okay. Next time you know what? I'm just going to forward that to voicemail. And I'm not even going gonna say that he called. So you can deal with the drama later. Okay. Anyway, I'm glad I needed a week to let it sink in. It was bad.

It was our first fight. We haven't been together that long, but whatever. It was our first argument. And I have to admit that in my past, there have been similar things that I've done that have to do with other men and meeting flirtatious that have affected my relationship. So much drama. Not drama.

Men has loved it because there was just so much drama. It was just so much drama. Oh my god. I got so much drama. I loved it. I'm like, oh, men is of all people is here during this moment of tearing off on his motorcycle. I did love it because you know what?

Because it wasn't cool and you were wrong, but I'm glad that you admitted that you were wrong. That's cool. Yeah, I was wrong. I, because I heard someone. So clearly, I'm wrong. I did something bad. You admitted that you're wrong and you know what?

I'm proud that you admitted that you're wrong. Thank you. I think that what you, I think you have to just have really good communication with whoever you're dating. And he could tell me right away that that wasn't cool. And so it wasn't cool. I would have thrown deuces right away. I wouldn't even wait till the guy showed up.

Did you not tell them that the guy was showing up? No, I did. Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. You can hang out with them. I'm gonna go. You want to do that? Yeah.

Hell yeah, I would. Okay. It was a little too soon. I know. Whatever. Okay. Moving on. I want a moonwalk. E-mails from this moonwalk. Men's moonwalk. That would have a moonwalked out of the park with the deuces in the air. That's right. With the peace sign. Yeah. Peace out sister. Okay. The written emails that you said to feedback at sexelmy.com. You can also find it sex with Emily on Facebook and Twitter.

And Pinterest. And Pinterest, your Pinterest now, right? Yeah, I don't do Pinterest. I got to do more. You can still follow me on Pinterest. I plan to be a Pinterester more frequently. And you can find menace at white menace at everything in the world. Dear Emily, my wife, 27, recently had a somewhat emergency

hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis. She had suffered, she had suffered with since age 15. She's been going through a lot with this issue over the years. Our sex life has been very disrupted by her health issues. She was a virgin when we got married, and sex has always been somewhat painful for her. Our normal frequency has been once or twice a month. This sucks, but I love my wife and wanted to be comfortable, so I deal with it.

I write a few studies and most say that sex after history has to be much better. What can you share about the topic of sex after history? Thanks, John from Bethesda, Maryland. So hysterectomy is a surgical remover of the uterus, and this is usually done by the gynecologist. And studies have found that for most people sex after his historic to me is better, and more women become sexually aroused after historic to me. They say female orgasm and satisfaction improves for most women. However, like with anything, for some women problems persist, some continue

to have lubrication, arousal, and sensation issues. And so I would say that she should continue to be checked up by the doctor if it is her lib... I mean, she sounds like she's having painful issues. And that she's not having better arousal. But there are things that you can do for a rouse, you know, making sure that you have a lube on hand. There's a rouse of lotions and cream. We've talked about hot rocks before, H-O-T-R-A-W-K-S.

It's a daily organic supplement that you can take that helps your libido. But I would say don't give up. She had, you know, it sounds like she's one of the unlucky ones where the hysterectomy did not improve her sex life, but she could still see a doctor if her doctor isn't helping go to another doctor. There are doctors who specialize in libido and women's sex issues, so I would just keep looking. Do you think those doctors bow in their patients?

No, they don't bow in their patients. I'm going to show you how to increase your libido with my patients. There are sex, they call them sex surrogates who actually sleep with people's partners to show them how to do it or they teach them how to sleep with their wives. What? Totally, sexual surrogates. I learned all about it in sex school. See, here in the city, to have...

Yeah, they're everywhere. Sexual surrogates. You like, literally, you get paid, people pay you. It's legal though, because you're like, you get paid, people pay you, it's legal though, because you're like certified. Yeah. And you get paid to have sex with someone because maybe they have issues, they're handicapped or they're... What?

Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking about it. To get paid? Just kidding. No, I was love to get paid for all the sex I've had. Okay. You'd be a billionaire. You would own Facebook.

I want to own something big. This is big. Sex, family is big. Go buy all of our stuff on the website. Ooh, I saw a bravo person. They just... What? They made a lot of money.

What? Oh, Rachel Zo. I was on the way over here. I was reading Twitter. And? And one of the real housewives of Beverly Hills Was tweeting about Rachel's oh I guess Rachel's oh open to store something. Oh cool That's awesome. Do you love Rachel's oh? I like Rachel's oh

I don't she is a show she's a stylist on bravo and I have seen it a few times. I like it Yeah, I don't know she their show hasn't been on for a while I don't know if it's renewed or they're not sure But you liked it the fashion and all that stuff. Oh, I tweeted last night. I actually Seaced Andy Cohen Uh-huh because I Thought of a show that I thought it would be funny. Okay You know how they have all these like

Shows where gay guys and women judge on fashion yeah like red carpet and, oh, this woman looked wonderful in this dress and all that stuff. I go, there has to be a show where straight guys like review all the red carpet fashion or like runway fashion. Like straight dumb guys. No, I'm not straight dumb guys. No, they have to be sharp,

but what did it for it to be funny? No, no, they have to be sharp with straight guys who are just kind of like, I don't know, like that looks hot to me. But then, they give their honest opinion on how they feel about it. Because it's never straight guys doing that criticism. It's never, never straight guys do it. It's only gay guys and other women.

But it'd be funny to hear a straight guy actually say, that makes no sense to me. Yeah, it's hideous. Because I've definitely been watching some of these shows where I want me. Oh, she looks so elegant in this dress and you're like, she looks like crap. She looks awful. Right. You know, that's a good idea.

Did he tweet you back? He has millions of followers. I know. I know. He's coming here in a few weeks. If you want to go. What? Yeah, he's coming a something at the Castro theater

May something what's first book or for I love Andy Cohen. You want to go? Yes, I do want to go I'm not yet. He's curious He is a he's the executive director Bravo in the of programming yeah people don't know that but the the reason I talk show that people are friggin mad show that people are friggin mad about. Yeah, that's why I love him. Do you watch the show? Oh, all the time. He does all the reunion shows too. Right. And he just like, he really just asked them the questions.

That's what I like about him. Because if you watch all these entertainment shows, they never ask them the tough questions. Yeah, all the questions is just, you know, it's just underhand throws, you know? I agree. He's like, no, really, we were you doing the hook in the bathroom You know, or he really asked the questions it makes it really good because you know, I I love interviews

We we working with you so we interview very intensely Interviews all the time and that's you know, I love interviews like that where they he asked what people really want to know Right. That's good. He is good. So we'll go to the cast drill. Okay, we're gonna talk about seduction. Okay? Sexual seduction. Knowing the right moves in bed is not gonna help you if you can't actually get

a woman to bed or a man to bed. So it's not about hooking up at a bar. Seduction is one of the most important parts of a successful relationship. You have to learn how to seduce the woman. I don't care if you listen to my show and you know all my moves, but if you can't get hurt to the point of even wanting to have sex with you, it's never going to happen. So everyone is different. Don't assume that she's going to like one thing because it worked for the other woman. And you don't know how to please every woman just because you've pleased one. Be open-minded. Pay attention

to her responses. So the first thing to do is woman just because you've pleased one. Be open-minded, pay attention to her responses. So the first thing to do is just try to get to know her. Whether it's just for the night or a long-term relationship, women want to feel like a guy is interested in them as a person, not just as a sex object. We know that you just want to have sex with us. We know what that's what you're thinking about. But can you please at least, for the first 10 minutes that you meet us or the first date, pretend that you care, ask about our common interests,

that turns us on like what do we like, what are activities, what are our values. Talk about what motivates you, what you live for, when your philosophies for life are for. She sex feels more natural and easier when there's a sense of familiarity with person. So you're not gonna get sex if you're not a good listener.

That's a bottom line. When you're with a woman, you've got to ask questions. She wants to feel, that's how women get turned on by our brains. So if you are like engaging and you're like, oh, tell me more about your job, even if you don't care, pretend you care, we'll believe you. I mean, unless you're just a total idiot and don't have to hold on a conversation. But these things matter. And a lot of guys make the mistake because they think that, oh, this is my turn to shine. And I'm going to tell her about all the cars I have and how much money I make and all my successes, but we don't really care. We want to talk about ourselves. And then you can talk. I mean, that's true.

True. It's holy true. Right? Show her that you want her. Focus entirely on her. Don't be checking out other women in the room. The thing again that you have to do is you actually have to be interested in her. What she says, what she does, has a pay attention. Yeah. Being desired, being desired for a woman, for her feeling desire, has a huge impact on her libido. So if you make her feel wanted and desired, sure, she's opening up. She's opening up. Yeah. Actually, the seduction has started.

My breast is hanging out. I can watch this on video. Yeah. My breast, I just had a nip slip. Your nip was totally hanging out. Do you know that it wasn't bad? But do you know you can watch this show? Sexandonly.com.

My nip always not totally hanging out. It was out, everybody. Okay. Another thing is number three, you know. It looked like a hersy kiss. It did not. That's okay. Know that women want sex too.

So be patient and not pushing. What is that point that you want to have sex? Men don't realize that women are just as interested in sex as men are and it's not just for a relationship. Sometimes women just want good sex and don't want to feel bad about it. However, even though women want sex sometimes just as casually as men, you can't push them into it. You can't be prematurely, you know, living down your pants and trying to bang her.

Like, you've got to do all these moves. Women are constantly striking with desire and guilt. They don't want to feel slutty. Or you just have a couple shots of dequila. No, let her set the pace. On her boundaries, patients can be incredibly sexy. Sober, though, only sober. Too much eagerness is annoying. Wait, how much dequila?

Yeah. They have a couple shots of dequila. They're just as down as you are. Some people don't drink. But do the clear dequila because, you know, if you give a girl some brown dequila, the dark, she's going to be throwing up all over the place. This is a word of wisdom from me. Thanks, Monna.

I appreciate it. So the clear tequila. They have said that Viagra is a thick, that tequila is the female Viagra. Which it is, it is totally the... Not for me, I'm not a big drinker, I can't do shots. Make the first move. Even if she desires you, she probably wants you

to make the first move. This is the first time you're together. Women like it when men take initiative emotionally and physically. They try to give signals to men, the green light, but unfortunately, men can't always read these signals. You know, studies came out that showed that men are actually not equipped.

It's like something in their brain and their DNA, there was like scientific studies shown that men literally can't read signals from women. So they're not good at picking up. You've, we've talked about this menace that like so many times girls were like, I'm so into you. Yeah, they'll tell you years later,

years later you run into them. Like, oh my God, I so wanted to hook up with you back in the day. What? You did? Why the hell didn't you tell me? My friend, my friend Andrew has the same issue.

What? Right. And why do I have a girlfriend now, and you have a boyfriend? Why are you telling me this information right now? Because we've been trying to give men signals, but men can't read them. So you just got to pay attention,

or you got to ask, you got to just make the move. Like, who can we just leave to make out? Women are sometimes more subtle and letting men than well, sometimes it's just, you know what, I've said this before, I feel like if you've gone out with someone a few times, if you've gone out with someone twice, two to three times that you should make a kiss by that move.

Even if you're not sure by that date, you should try to kiss or and you've nothing to lose except for her saying no and she just might say yes. So you should approach her. If she's laughing at your jokes, touching you lightly, then go for the kiss. If she's more, if the more she's accidentally touching you, the more interested she is.

So if you heard about that, like if women lightly touches your hand or your arm, it usually means that there's a level of interest. So that should be encouraging. Also approach her and be very subtle. Be subtle and patience. Patience works best. Make her want it and long for it before you make your move.

Don't be too physically aggressive. The Neanderthal approach doesn't work for everybody. Be subtle. It's like it's hard because we want you to be, we want you to make the first move. But we don't want you to make it so complicated. I'm breaking down to the steps. You guys should just be like gay guys just look at each other. Oh, yeah, you want to hook up? All right, let's go because women have more emotions and we're not so down. This is I'm saying you've got

A big game you got to build her up. You got to build up her ego You got to give her time and space still to let her feel like she's comforts you and that she's comforted by you And that she trusts you. These are all very important steps, Menace. Hate it. It's true. So keep it real. Don't play games. Make sure to be yourself and to be honest.

Don't try to be super suave. I can't be suave. Nope. I'm extremely suave. Ask anybody. And there is no great first pickup line. You don't have to make a huge production out of it. Go up and talk to her like she's one of the boys.

And this is a big tip that I tell guys who are like, very nervous and fearful about talking to a woman and approaching a woman. The whole thing is think about, close your eyes for a second and picture yourself hanging out with your best buddies. How do you act besides all the farting or whatever. That comfort level that you feel with your guy friends,

you can bring that to women. And you have to just practice by talking to as many women as you can, like talk to women on the street. Like women are not this big scary thing that you can approach. Like you get better at it, you just have to get, you just have to be practiced and don't try, don't try too hard, but just practice talking to women.

That's the first step. You don't have, there is no fancy pickup line that I'm gonna tell you because they don't exist. But you does talking to women. That's the first step. You don't have, there is no fancy pickup line that I'm going to tell you because they don't exist. But you does help to compliment. It does. Right, menace? Especially with you. Have you, you can go with me, but also with a lot of women,

don't you find that when you're like, oh, your hair looks nice, are you look good? Yeah, but you. I know, you hate doing it because you think that just... I do it once in a while. Because an attractive woman is going to be hearing that all day long. Yes, but we need it for our sustenance. No, if you really want to have a good relationship with this woman, you do not compliment them as much as every other dude does out there because you don't separate yourself. They come to you wondering why doesn't this guy

kiss my ass like everybody else? And then that in front of them. And then that's just a woman who's got super insecure problems and that she's only interested in you because you weren't available. A person that needs constant compliments has some issues. Also. No, we all need compliments. We all need compliments, but I'm just saying that.

So you're saying the person that it's one of them. No, they're all messed up. We all have the VEGOs and we all need them stroked. So be romantic, compliment, or the art of kissing is extremely important. So don't skip on the kissing and get straight to the sex. Remember, always, always remember this. If I've taught you

anything in your entire friggin life, the biggest sexual organ is the brain. If you can't turn that on, then you're lost at seducing her. Intellectual foreplay is important for women. Engage her mind and imagination first. How do you do that? You just talk to her like a real person. You ask her questions. You get her engaged. You make funny jokes. They don't have to be too funny. Just be smart. Be yourself.

Be witty. That is what turns us on. I can't tell you how many men I've dated just because I was like, they were funny or they were interesting at the bar. Like it wasn't because he was the hottest guy in the room. It was because like my brain started getting turned on before anything else in my body. And women at the end of the day are most attracted to confidence. So don't sell yourself too hard.

Try to seduce or be confident. Don't be creepy. Guys, do a test. First date, take up two Taco Bell. And if they're down, you marry that chick. Oh God, menace. You still obsessed with Taco Bell. Can we get them as a sponsor because they're asleep? What? Is there even one? Yeah, there is one here.

What are you talking about? There's billions of Taco Bells. I don't go to talk about don't take her to talk about. And you know what? It's the first date, the first thing is not about what you do. It's not about getting taken over fans in our, what did you say? I said, get her the new Doritos tacos locos disgusting. What? I'm saying. Doritos should just be a Dorito onto itself.

Don't lop a bunch of cheese and beans onto it. Beach inside of it. Oh, it's so good. So good. People are actually upset though that there's not a cool ranch. Doritos locals taco. Really? They're upset.

There is protest taking to the streets. They're protest. That's insane. Okay. Why can't I love a woman that would love to go to talk about? What's wrong with that? You can't love a woman, but that shouldn't be your deciding factor. You shouldn't get down in one knee and over a plate of taco.

Let's say for some reason, for some reason, for the people that are listening. Bye. There's a place called French laundry. We talked about on the show. Oh, we got an email about that just now, but I'll read it. So French laundry was in one of the top 50 restaurants in the country and it has not reached the 50th this year for some reason. But anyways, the bills there are like ridiculous.

I saw my friends bills like $2,000 the other day or The Taco Bell all right Now let's say I had it come let's say I had enough money to go to French laundry like it was nothing I can go there every other day, right? but then She's like no, let's go to the Taco Bell That's a keeper the one that wants to go to the Taco Bell not the one that wants to go to French laundry That's the one that you bang and then you just let's go to the Taco Bell. That's a keeper. The one that wants to go to the Taco Bell, not the one that wants to go to French laundry. That's the one that you bang, then you just let her go.

I would, I'm exhausted by it. How is, no. Why is that a bad thing, did judge character on? You really want to end up with a woman who wants to talk about for the rest of her life in KFC? Yes. Okay, at least you know what you want, man, that's the most important thing.

We're moving on to another topic. Oh, I don't know what's so wrong with that. I just want you to explain to me what's wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. If that's what you value, if that would turn you on and you'd rather have a woman choose me on, whatever, even if it's like emotionally turned you on or whatever. I'm talking about a judge a character. Physiologically turned you on or emotionally turned you on or spiritually turned you on Whatever it is menace if she chooses Taco Bell over French laundry or another place takes reservations and they don't and they wait on you then I think that yeah if that's a good litmus test for you you should go for it and you should have little Taco Bells

It trucks that you're wedding. Oh, I love that right. There you go, honey I'm not here to judge you. I think that's awesome that you know what you want. You want to judge me. And I'd like to do that. So what was this email about the French laundry? Can you remember it? Yeah, it just came in literally five minutes before the show.

So I didn't have a chance to read it, but he said something like French laundry is amazing. And he knows that someone who went there and it was only like $500 and not $2,000. And I didn't read the email because it just came in. But we'll read it this way. Only 500, oh my God, what a deal. Well, well, that's what friends laundry is. It's a restaurant in Northern California. If you're spending that much money on a meal, you need to check your priorities.

Oh my God, I do, I know people spend that every night. Well, I hope that they're millionaires in the car. Yeah, they are. But if you're not a millionaire, you should strive to go eat there. Most people are not, and I don't even, I buy eat frozen burritos many nights for dinner. Okay. So six ways women can be better in bed.

I want to see if you agree with these menace. Men are usually the ones blamed for not measuring up in bed. We talk a lot about that on the show, but women can make some mistakes as well. And I don't want to say mistakes. Maybe it's just what they don't, they haven't learned this. They don't know, I hate to say there's mistakes, only challenges, right? Sex mistake number one, and not initiating sex. The truth is, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do. Women are used to men doing the pursuing and sometimes

They don't want to come off as push you're aggressive about sex because I don't think they're horrors or something But show your interest is a woman by taking the step for the first time from time to time taking the first step Your partner will appreciate it and you might find a new level of satisfaction and taking responsibility for your own Sexual experience and I hear this over and over for men, like probably the top three complaints that men lodge against women is that they don't initiate sex enough. Would you agree with that statement?

A totally agree. That's like the number one thing with men. Yeah, they're like, why isn't she sometimes just jump on top of me? And as funny as it sounds, I don't think a woman that wants to go out and have sex is a whore at all. The woman that I think are a whores are the ones that sleep with guys to get things.

That's a whore. Chick that cheats on somebody when they're supposed to be in a criminal relationship whore. I don't like that term. No, you don't like it because- I don't like that term. Why? Because she cheated on him and she's a whore. Yeah, she cheated.

Just don't be in a relationship. Just break up with him and then go have sex. You don't know what else happens in other relationships. Okay, sex mistake number two. This is the mistake for women. These are some of the common complaints that men have about women in bed. Okay.

Worrying about what you look like. Yeah, a woman do that a lot. Right, but when I'm saying, does that bother you? Do you think that's a mistake that women make in bed? Yeah, because the guys are wanting it. When you look like doing sex, let herch your chances of letting go and orgasming first of all, because you're so in your head

and you're like, does my ass like fat? Are my boobs sagging? You know, let's turn off the lights. Don't think about how your belly fat looks in a certain position. Men are not pain. I mean, men are seriously... Look at a guy's penis.

Is it erect? Is it? Yes. All right. Then he has no problems with what you look like. Right. He's fine. He's not looking at your scar that you've had since 10th grade.

Like, I think women are so hard on themselves. No, but after out, man. And the truth is, men don't notice half the things that women obsess about anyway. It's amazing what men don't notice if you're enthusiastic Energetic and interested in them and self esteem is a huge sex killer for women So I'm just saying women you've got either you need some serious therapy You need just a bite the bullet and you need to be like I'm a hot freaking goddess this guy's lucky to be having sex with me And I look amazing in this bed. Let's turn on the lights and get naked

Can I share a fact with you? Factoid? Sure. Does that do a talk about? It doesn't have to do a talk about something that you enjoy orgasms. Did you know that orgasms burn 112 calories? No. But when you fake an orgasm, it burns 316 calories. Wow.

It was, you know, you learn Wow. You learn something today. I didn't know that. Don't ever fake an orgasm either. OK. Sex mistake number three that women can do. This is what women can do to be better in bed. Assuming sex is casual for a man. Like go of old fashioned notions, such as women

are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men. For some men, sex is important. Don't minimize it. Both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of committed relationships to be more satisfying. So, it's a mistake to think that women are not sexual and that men are not as romantic as women. So, some women assume that all sex is casual for men and that the guy is just in it for

sex. But for men, they think of it as a holy act. Don't you think if you're in a commitment with someone, not holy, but whatever, wrong word? But if you're in a relationship with someone, you value the sex, don't you? Yes, of course you do. Right, so women, a lot of women don't trust guys.

I think he's just in it for my whatever. So don't assume the sex is just casual for the guy. Okay, another sex mistake or issue that women can do to be better in bed is believing he's always up for sex. We're told that men are always ready to go. Most teenage boys are ready just by the time you ask, but not true for men. The pressures of everyday life,

family work bills can reduce a man's libido, often his lack of interest in sex is something women take to personally. Totally. Right? Sometimes you just say, man. Sometimes you just say, you're tired now. You know it's a long day.

Sometimes you just don't want to do it. You're tired. Yeah. It doesn't mean that you thought I looked fat when I walked in the door. It doesn't mean that you, my boobs were sagging. I got up at 5 a.m. and it's late and I'm still working right now. When I get home, I don't want to call up any late and I'm still working right now when I get home. I don't want to call up any chicks. I just want to go to bed. You know.

Exactly. Women analyze and over analyze. Okay. Another issue women make is they don't give guidance what they want. No, never. And you should. Women, I know. Don't you think when you love a woman, just like go left, go right? I mean, not like a drill sergeant, but you know, women sometimes are uncomfortable talking directly about sex, what we like, and what we don't, because we think that we're insecure, that men are going to judge us, they're going to think that I know too much. But women have to take responsibility for their own sexual experience. So to say that he gave me an orgasm or he was bad and bad, I mean, a lot of times is

that women aren't asking and they aren't taking back the sexual experience and owning it and doing what makes themselves feel good. Men want to please women. If you can tell them in a way that doesn't kill their ego, they'll appreciate it. So, right? You don't want to be like, that really sucked when you went down to me last time. Here's what you do. You have to be like positive reinforcement.

Yeah. Yeah? Okay, this is the last one. Mistake, getting upset when he suggests something new. It's really hard sometimes for men to suggest new things. So after a couple of things been together for a while, it's natural to want to try something new. What do you think the number one thing guys suggest? Three. Three. No, no, no. Not three. So the has the number one thing. Anal sex. Yes. Ding, ding, ding. There has to be number one and number Um, anal sex?

Yes, ding, ding, ding. There has to be number one and number two has to be three. Just because you want to start something new doesn't mean he's unsatisfied with your sex life. If you want to do something beyond your boundaries, explain to him why you don't want to partake. If he's simply stating a startling request and you're initially uneasy about it, try not to over-act and said, let him know you need to try to think about it.

So this is important. We always talk about the fact that communication is lubrication and men and women need to talk about their sexual fantasies and desires. The way your sex life is gonna progress and say, interesting is if you try something new. Now, he might come to the table and say, I want to have anal sex and you would be like,

you know what, I'm not that comfortable with it. Maybe you can stick your finger in my butt. Maybe we'll try with that. Or maybe we can play a different kind of game and get warmed up for it. So she might kind of, so women should not overact too much to a guy's request about sex because it's right. Just try some anal beads first. No, yeah, yeah. Try some anal beads, but don't, I know that it can be alarming because a lot of women don't spend time thinking about where they want to go and men spend a lot of time repressing their fantasies because they don't want to share

it, right? Have you ever shared with a woman what you really wanted in bed? Uh, not totally, I don't think. Why, what do you really want? I don't really want much. I know, that's how much I've got a lot of guys out. But somebody's gonna try some things new. Yeah, I'm not crazy, you know, vacuum sealed rubber guy, you know?

No, you're not that guy, you're not a furry. No, not a furry, not any of that. Okay. Well, that's what we got time for today. I know. We're here at the Stitcher Studios in San Francisco, California. If you don't know what Stitcher is, it is an app that you can download for your smartphone, even your iPad, or maybe a tablet.

Yeah, everything. You can download it. It's totally free. And once you do that, you can actually search sex with Emily and our podcast comes up and you can listen to it wherever the hell you're at. Wherever the hell you're at, you can listen to this show. If you're just tuning in and you miss the first half,

you can go to sexthelmy.com. It's our free Friday show and you can check it out. You can watch the video. I'm looking at the camera. Kim Asher Bay, Chad Nipps. I did have a nip slip earlier. And also I just want to thank our advertisers, Good Vibrations, use coupon code gvmly15 for 15%

of purchases at goodvibes.com and also jimmyjane.com. Use coupon code spring and buy yourself a killer toy. I'm telling you, you will love it, get a massage candle, whatever it is that turns you on. I hope everyone has a great weekend and that you have safe, amazing, wonderful, mind-blowing sex. Yeah, do a lot of shots, but don't drink and drive. That's the full kill you.

Don't drink and drive. And drink always clear, not dark. Okay, thanks, Ben. It's crazy. Okay, everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. It was a good for you. Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. .com.