Sex With Emily - SWE: Sex Addict

Episode Date: May 23, 2012

Emily has a perfect weekend, bike riding and wine tasting with her mom in Sonoma. Someone is getting married in Sonoma and Emily’s mom wants her to walk down the abandoned aisle because she’s worried she won’t see it in real life.Mark Zuckerberg tied the knot and waited seven years to change his relationship status on Facebook. Emily is following Zuckerberg’s lead while Menace thinks that not changing your relationship status means you’re keeping your options open. Also, Menace wears female deodorant and Emily thinks approves. Why not?Pheromones parties with your dirty t-shirt, the Vamp vibrator that shimmers in the sunlight like Edward Cullen, and the video game that gives you a free vibrator.How War of Warcrafts can destroy your sex life and how to tell if you're addicted to sex or just really, really like it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Book into his eyes Then the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that lock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them a lie-gone day Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute The girls got to understand it's a lie

The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks. And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, I'm gone.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex. Relationships and everything in between. Thanks everyone for listening to this show. You can check out more at sexwithemily.com. We've got tons of podcasts there that you can listen to and all the sex information you need to have better sex.

Happy Wednesday. It's a good day. It's hump day. I hope you all hump today or do something that makes you happy. A lot of humping. What's going on? I'm good. I'm good. I had a great weekend in Sonoma with my mom. My mom came to visit from Michigan and she wanted to take me with my birthday, which is coming up in a few weeks. And so we went to Sonoma, Michigan in Spa, which is beautiful. And we went, did went, went by a griding one day and went wine tasting and got a little buzz, went to wineries. We were just going to four, but we only made it to, because we're not big drinkers in my family. I know But I saw your Instagram. They had gigantic wine glasses. I got gigantic wine glasses

I know they're bigger than my head. I am a mom and I you know we have lots of serious talks There was two weddings going on there. It's a huge grounds Uh-huh and after the wedding ceremony the bride and everyone went back inside to eat and the The seats were all set up for the ceremony and the rose petals had been flipped. Like it was like, you know, everyone had left the ceremony. And I'm like, oh, do you want to go stand up there

and walk down the aisle just so I can see it? I was like, oh my God, mom, really, you want to see me walk down the aisle? She's like, I might never see it. Did you really do it? I didn't do it, but I almost did it because I thought it'd be a funny picture of me walking down the abandoned bridal walk. That would be interesting. it because I thought it'd be a funny picture of me walking down the abandoned bridal walk.

That would be interesting. Yeah, I thought it'd be really funny. That would be good for Instagram. I know, honey, I'm not so excited. I said you a photo, the Instagram, for your followers, thinking it would be funny. I know. And you didn't post it.

What was it? I was... I think it could tell service. It was actually amazing. I didn't get everything right away. I was in Las Vegas over the weekend. I know. I went to the vendor machine to go get a soda.

There was soda chips, everything, and then right in the corner, vibrating ring. A vibrating ring. Yeah. $15. That's crazy. It was so funny. It was like solo. There was no other, like sex tours in the market.

I can still post your Instagram. You can follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily and Menace is white menace. Yes, follow me. But I, so that was really fun. And then I'm going to, I tried to think what else we did. My mom left yesterday and it was good. Like when mom's in town, like she's, you know my mom,

she's mellow, she's easy to get along with. We have lots of deep conversations. Was there any crying? I didn't cry. I didn't cry. I cried yesterday. I cried yesterday. But she'd already gone.

Okay. But I was just crying about work. You know when people started drinking and then they'd get all of my shit. Oh no, we didn't get emotional. We just passed out. And then we sat by the pool. We just like, I hadn't had a vacation time away in years.

And it was just two nights, but it makes the world of difference. And we live in a beautiful area. You can just drive up south and you're like in the one country and it's beautiful. But it's romantic, lots of couples, and then my mom and I together. But that was a good time.

And then tonight I'm going to see this, Jimmy Jane is sponsoring a movie that hasn't come out yet, called Hesteria, have you heard of it? It's with Maggie Gillinghall and Hugh D.C. Jill and Hall. Yeah whatever you say whatever so it's called hysteria which is what they used to diagnose women with whenever women were crazy they hysteria and how they treated it was with the vibrator and this is about the invention of the first vibrator ever. That's crazy. I know. So I'm going to go see it tonight and I'm excited for that.

And yeah, that's stuff going on. What about you? How is Vegas? Vegas was amazing again. Better than last weekend. I know. Last weekend was cool. Last weekend was chill.

Right. You know, I had friends that just like going shows. They don't like to like really go hardcore and party and go to clubs and stuff like that. So I got to experience Vegas that I haven't experienced before because I never went with people that just wanted to relax. You know, so it was a cool experience. But this weekend was definitely people that just wanted to party and we just got out of control.

Did you? Out of control. I ended up getting stuck in old Vegas because there was a parade and I could have found a cab. So I walked for 40 minutes in the heat, 90 plus degrees through the desert trying to get to New Vegas. Oh my God. I was so out of it with my friends. Like we didn't realize that we were walking the wrong way.

Oh God, I hate when that happened. We thought we were walking towards this place called the city center, like we didn't realize that we were walking the wrong way. Oh, God, I hate when that happens. We thought we were walking towards this place called the City Center, but we're walking towards this other building called like the World Market America, or something that looked just like the building that we're going to. So what did you do? Did you finally find a cab when you got there? Yeah, after 40 minutes of walking, no water, nothing, just like we seriously were going to pass out. Oh my God, did you go to sleep or just keep drinking? Oh, we went back and we slept for a while and then we went back out and I was about to

go in a club that my friend was DJing at Arya and then I was like, you know what? I'm old dude. I know. I don't need this stuff. I don't need to go to another club. I know. I know. It's Vegas is just you got to be in the mood and you can't do it for too long. Yeah, but. And two weekends in a row would kill me. Yeah, but I gotta hold a little baby monkey. A little baby monkey. Where do you see a baby monkey?

He was out on the strip, he was being exploited, but I held him in. Oh, that's cute, you get a picture? Yeah, I blew up on my Instagram. blew up and it was like 100 plus something likes on it. Wow, you get so many likes. It was a little baby monkey. It was a little baby monkey.

It was a little baby monkey. Yeah, it get so many likes. You're so little baby monkey. I love the baby monkey. It was a really fun experience. I'm glad to be home. I got home late, late Sunday night, and then I had to be up early morning to do radio. Then the same day, I had to go stay up until 10 pm at night, tell midnight doing a video game launch for Microsoft.

That's crazy. You mean, it's sweet. So I haven't slept honestly since last Thursday. Oh my God, so men is makes no sense today. We just have the descendant love. I'm just out of it, but I'm happy to be back. And I know a lot of sex assembly listeners were tweeting me over the weekend

coming on my Instagram all the time. I want to say thanks for listening. Oh, thanks everyone. Thanks sex assembly listeners. I want to say thanks for listening. Thanks everyone. Thanks, Sex Family Listeras. We love you so much. Yeah. We do love you. And today's show is about sex addiction.

We get a lot of emails and questions like, am I addicted? Is something wrong with me? I masturbate all the time. I have weird fantasies. So we're going to get into sex addiction because I thought that's a good topic. We haven't covered it in a while.

So that's a good one. Yeah. And today's show is brought to you by Mask. And that's M-A-S-Q-U-E, but it's easy to find them at sexualflavors.com. And they're basically like lists, it's a listuring strip that masks the taste of semen. So if you are with a woman who does not like performing

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Their whole goal is to bring you and your partner closer together inside the bedroom. We're not. So check out masks. Let's go. Oh my God. What? I gotta tell you a really quick, quick, quick funny story. Go. So when I was in Old Vegas, I went to the heart tech grill.

And if people don't know what the heart tech grill is, it's really, really unhealthy burger place. I suppose to be like that. That's the whole draw to it. Right. But when I was there, I saw the owner and the owner I see on TV all the time. He's like on CNN and all this stuff.

So I was like, I gotta go talk to this guy. So I go over there and all this stuff. So I was like, I got to go talk to this guy. So I go over there and I start talking to him. Super cool, nice guy. He's like, come on man. We're starting talking about social media and stuff like that. Because I used to visit his Arizona location, which was all decked out for social media. Okay. This one, not so much.

And he's like, what do you think I should do? What's the hot stuff? And we're like shooting the ish, you know? And he's like, yeah, let's go on. Let's walk outside and we're starting like drinking and stuff. And he goes, I wanna show you something. He goes, come with me. And we walk over and like there's these gigantic trannies

on the strip that are promoting this place where they have like a tranny show and stuff like that. These, he goes, these trannies here. He was like talking with them. He's, he's friends. Right. Make more money than I do. Oh, my whole restaurant that's on television all the time.

Well, just after a show. What's the show? Like it's like a camera. They just do it like, AHSF, like in here in the city and stuff like that. I go, oh yeah, that's cool. And they were talking to me and they go, oh, here, here's 30% off the show to come check it out.

That's cool, I go, the hand drops free. And once I said that, they were dying, they were like laughing so hard. And then the owner of a heart attack grill, I don't know, he just kinda disappeared after I said that. He's like, whoa, I thought this guy was something else. For the reason that the turkeys are here. No, no, I think he's friends of them.

I don't think I offended them. No, probably not, but you do offend people sometimes. Yeah, yeah, I think it was a little over the top. That's funny, cute babes. Yeah, there's always a lot of beautiful women in Vegas. I like seeing them during the day because at night, a lot of those beautiful women are just like keeping all of those dresses too.

Like they're all address super tight dresses and um yeah, like the same. Yeah, they're all trying to like look at him Kardashian. Yeah, and they look all jacked up falling all over the place over the street. I just don't like being in

faith. I don't either. I don't neither. It's not my thing. School, but a lot of things happened. I mean, you're about to go on the news. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, what do you say? No, it's just saying like March, Zuckerberg got married

over the week. I know. Isn't that crazy? We'll get into some sex in the news now. Yeah. But how what would you say? No, it was just saying like, Mark Zuckerberg got married over the week. I know, it's not crazy. We'll get into some sex in the news now. Yeah. But how, what, I know, what did they say about the wedding? Well, this is what I heard that it was a day after that Facebook, or like two days after, IPO, Facebook went public and all this stuff. And they said that the wedding was actually a trick.

Like they invite everybody saying, oh, we're gonna celebrate her graduating from medical school. And they all shut up and they go, oh, by the way, this is actually our wedding. Wow. Yeah, it was only a hundred guests. Okay. They can't confirm, but they think that Billy Joe

from Green Day actually performed at the wedding. Oh, wow, I bet he could get someone good at the wedding. I bet he did because actually at my other job we did a concert with Green Day and Mark Zuckerberg was there. That's so cool. I know that he's a super favorite. I know that he's a super favorite.

I know that he's a super favorite. I know that he's a super favorite. Anyone in the world who wants to. Oh, he did Michael Jackson. Bono, they're saying Bono made a billion dollars down off Facebook. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He can get anybody wants to come perform. That would have been been fun waiting to go to. But I wasn't invited. But now all these stories come out about their relationship. Like what? And things like, oh, the reason that he did,

he got married immediately after it went public is she wouldn't get as much money. They got married before. And other things, which I thought was really interesting, that they were actually together for seven years before he even put in a relationship on Facebook. See, even Mark Zuckerberg waited to put in a relationship. I don't know what that was all about, but I think that's smart. I don't think that you should rush into putting your face. If Mark Zuckerbergaburg, seven years waited to put his status up. I think unless you're engaged,

you should not put your status on Facebook because nobody needs to know. Not that no one needs to know. You just want to keep your options open. This be real, this be honest. That's not true that I want to keep my options open. That was madly in love with somebody and we were together in the whole thing.

Like maybe I would do it eventually, but it's 50-50 minutes. If you're madly in love with somebody, then yes, you put your relationship on Facebook. But if you want to keep your options open, in the whole thing, like, I put it on Twitter, like, can I keep something sacred? Can I have something to myself that not the world leads to? I think it's a bunch of bullshit, because that's a pretty easy thing to share.

Yes, I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I'm sorry, it's easy. Okay. Easy thing to share, but private stuff on like... But Mark Zuckerberg waited seven years. Yeah, I don't understand what that was on the own Facebook and I'd say if we're gonna follow the lead of anyone we can go on Facebook oh god okay I'll get into sex in the news I can give you a

billion CEOs there's the the guy that started Oracle has about three times as much money as Mark Zuckerberg yeah and. And he's divorced with kids. Okay. So what are you saying? I'm just saying, you don't have to follow what everyone else does. Okay, but he does. He had the head of Oracle have his status on Facebook. He might not be on Facebook.

I don't know. But he had a lot more money. What do you all think about relationship status on Facebook? Let me know. Feedback at sex on the back. Or tweet. Or tweet. Or tweet. Tweet me. Tweet me. Tweet me. Easy. Tweet us about.

Tweet. Tweet. Tweet. And I'm just so you know if you've even heard yet, I've got my reality show called Misadvised on June 18th, premiering at 10 o'clock at night on Bravo TV. When is the promo's gonna air? I was like, I believe that the promo is going to start this week. Yeah. That's what they said. I'm sure they're going to tell me, but they don't always tell me things until like five minutes before.

Yeah, by the way. So I believe that it's, they have to. What is it? It's the 18th. It's less than a month away. So don't think. They have to start pumping up. They pump up those shows forever.

So I believe tonight, it's going to be after the Rehazmas of New York and it's going to be awesome. So just check out Miss Advised on my website. You can see it on Facebook. Yeah, they have to. And menace isn't it? Why do you always say that when I, every time you start talking about a show, yeah, by the way, menace is very funny, very funny.

You guys can see more about our relationship and how we are, how we get along and you're going to all enjoy that. You will love it. You'll love it. You'll love it. You'll love it. You'll love it. You'll see Emily making out with a bunch of guys. I do make out with a few guys. It's true. I think I'm like-

Oh, awesome. I'm saying gentlemen, by the way. I throw that out there. One of them was just, it doesn't, it's not what it seems. It's all insane. It's all insane. It's all insane. Let's call it man, that one.

Okay, sex in the news. Video games, windows get free, dildos. The new video game Diablo 3 just came out, leaving many ladies lonely as their lovers spend hours trying to penetrate the inner secrets of their video games instead of their girlfriends if they even have girlfriends. The French sex shop, Absolue, has decided to send free vibrators to sue the any frustration to claim your sex toy post a Facebook picture of yourself With a copy of the video game and app so Lou will send you a voucher for free vibrator a b O L.O.O. That's smart man. That's really smart. They're like sorry that your dude's not performing and having sex with you

You can have a vibrator. Let me tell you a story about my friend. You heard of World of War you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, saw water fish tank in his house and immaculate place right. I visited him two years later. Go friends gone. House is a mess. There's fungus all over this this fish tank. There's his ferret that's like crapping all over the place. He got so hardcore into World of Warcraft that he would not leave the house for days. That's crazy. Like, he didn't have normal jobs. Yeah, like people get obsessed with video games.

Contract jobs? Yeah. And it was just. You're not a video game guy, right? No, no, no. But no, you hear stories. He will lose their life, their job, their relationships, all that stuff.

Yeah, because he just get stuck to it. Is it that kind of a game? No, but you feel like you're actually having interaction with people. I walked in on him playing the game once, and I looked at the screen, and it was all these avatars, the characters, and they're just dancing. I go, what are you doing?

It's like, oh, it's a dance party with everybody. I go, what? Are you serious? Like, he would have parties at his house, house packed full of people. He was on playing the game. That's crazy. That's unhealthy.

That sounds like an addiction. We're talking about sexual addiction today. Yeah. That sounds like a bad addiction. It's crazy. And like, guys, man, you know, I know video games are fun, but dude, you got to go outside. It's just a distraction.

You get addicted to it and you just want to, you want to shut off the world. We all want to shut off the world sometimes. And everyone's got their vehicle for closing down the mind. So you're not in mind shattering and distracting yourself, whatever, and you want to distract yourself. So you, you know, turn to drugs, alcohol, video games or whatever.

And you feel like you have friends, you know? I mean, I might have, I don't know, thousands of friends online, but actually, my actual friends maybe I have like 10. Including me. Emily's almost there. Oh, come on, dude.

Okay, fair-mone parties are all the rage. Is it science or is it speed dating? Los Angeles is setting the trend for fair-mone parties. The instructions for attending the party are to sleep in a t-shirt for three nights in a row, then store the t-shirt and a ziplot bag in the freezer during the day. The idea is to imprint your scent on cotton t-shirts and then bring them to the party. The bag shirt sits on a table and the tending is casually sniffed the shirts and sip cocktails. When you find a shirt you like, you take a picture with the number and then it is up

to the owner of the shirt to confine you in the party. The philosophy behind this is that if you select the shirt that's odor or rouses you there for, we sexually, it may be emotionally compatible with its wearer. That's crazy. That is the crazy thing I've ever heard. Someone's dirty t-shirt in a bag. But it is true that they say, Fair Mones chemistry. That's where it attracts people people the way they're sent.

But I'm wondering if in a t-shirt you're going to be able to tell. I don't know. Fairmones are powerful, but that sounds disgusting. I don't get it. I don't want to go to party with the ones who use old Radiate T-shirts and their B.O. on the t-shirt. Yeah, here in San Francisco with the gay community, there's like a whole community where they just don't wear deodorant or anything like that.

I know. They think it's... They're all at my just don't wear deodorant or anything like that. I know. And they just, they think it's... They're all at my gym. And it stinks, man. I know, baby. I know. I'm sorry. I know.

I know. Some of them just don't want to wear it, because they don't want to have chemicals on them and stuff like that. But none of the natural stuff covers it up. I know. And if they can find something that can deal with that, more power to you, but it happens things. I'm sorry.

I'm telling you, like, what do the guys play at that? My gym in the Castro is the gay place, in our cast or district of San Francisco, it's all gay people and me and they all smell. Not to be offensive, I mean, they're working out of the gym, but they don't care. No, there's a certain community that's

like running into it. But there's many women who don't wear it, do you know what I'm saying? There's lots of people. I wear it too. Can I tell you a secret? What? So when I was a boy, and it came time for me to wear the odorant

I was living with my mom And all my mom had was female the other right so you know your secret whatever and So I just started using that and I got so used to it that when I tried to use You know old spice and like, you know, those, the speed stick or whatever, I couldn't use it because it gets all sticky and it wouldn't even work. Right. So until this day, I still use female deodorant.

You do? Yeah. What kind? Like, like, I don't know, whatever the light pink one is. I mean, not the light blue or whatever. I don't know. It's like the power of setting. Secret. Yeah, like secret.

Yeah, yeah, secret. That's so cute. And so embarrassing though, because when I travel with friends, they're like, why are you using that check over? I like, I like hide it. I like. It's very manly of you to admit that. Why?

It just is. It smells a lot better anyways. It does smell better than all the men's. I've used men's theater room before when I even had to go over the dude and I get it. It just, it's gross. It's how they It's gross. That's how they agree. But I do think theater is key for everyone.

I get the people who have issues with it, but really, it's just hard. No, these people use it. They're perfectly fine. And we're not dying. We're all going to die from other things and it probably won't be theater room. Okay. Do you love twilight? Like, really love twilight.

Now you can have sex with twilight. Sex toy manufacturer, Tantas Direct has created a dildo called the vamp for anyone lusting after Edward. The vamp is a realistic dildo consisting of a deathly pale flesh alongside shaft, a ridged head that calls you into the twilight. And it's comprised of sparkly silicone so you can watch your vamp sparkle in the sunlight. It's another extension of the vampire franchise. No, people are just making money. They were doing the same thing with Harry Potter. They're

making these wand-like ones and so like that. Dildos, that just seems wrong for Harry Potter. But the porn in sexy industry always tries to capitalize on pop culture stuff. I know they do. They try to capitalize on pop culture stuff. But we're really like enough. Like what else is what's what's next? Dude, the Donalds is going to be selling vibrators. But really like enough, like what else is what's what's next? Do they, Donald's gonna be selling vibrators? They look like happy meals or something? It's not good.

Dude, they, you want me to dress up like the hamburger. I know. Why do we have to pornify everything? They made a porn of them, the three studios, three studios movie that just came out recently. They did? Yeah. They made a porn of the three studios.

Yeah, knock off porn. Sorry, I missed it. I think it was called like the, don't, I'm, I missed it. I thought I think it was called like the, don't, I'm not trying to be funny, but I think it was called like the three splooges or something like that. Oh, yeah, probably. Oh, that'd be funny.

Okay, man arrested for stealing used dildo from boss. Oh, no. Okay, a 40-something breakfast cook in Florida was arrested on Sunday night for stealing a box of you sex toys from his boss's utility trailer. His girlfriend ratted him out to police after he U-sex toys from his boss' utility trailer. His girlfriend ratted him out to police after he came home and stashed his loot under their bed.

He's been charged with burglary in two misdemeanor counts. Okay, first of all, why would you steal from your boss and why would you ever steal U-sex toys? I don't understand that. Maybe the boss is hot. No, but just don't steal. You'd first of all clean them if you're using a set. And this is a whole dilemma. If you're a dude and you own sex toys and you've used them with one check and then another chick comes over

You're like I've got a vibrator There's a lot of women that are kind of offended by that. They want to bring their own They don't want to use a vibrator this but use another woman So you're a lot of men are kind of stuck with these like used vibrators in their houses And I'm not saying you can't wash vibrators like there's like toy cleaners and there's like every sex toy shop sells like toy cleaners for vibrators. I would just say that. Make sure you wash them. I say you dump them. You got to wash them though always. I wash mine. I say you chuck it after. I wash mine on the Bravo Show talking to my mother. Oh wow. You're classy. I'm a classy check. Okay. Hello, Emma. We're going to go in emails.

Yeah. Okay. Thanks everyone for writing us at feedback at sexwithemily.com. Emily, I'm actually a gay male. I'm 24 years old from Massachusetts. Massachusetts. I'm just emailing you because I am obsessed with sex with Emily. I know it's probably totally weird because how many gay men listen to your show. A lot actually. I'm also super maintained by you and menace. I'm just throwing out a suggestion.

I really think you should get an additional co-host who is gay. I say this because even though I love you, already nothing you talk about pertains to me. There are not really any podcasts that are targeting gay men that all that that says formative and funny as you guys are. It's really no big deal. I just will consider I will still continue to listen to your show. PS, I follow you on Instagram and you can follow me and can't wait to see your show in Bravo. Best John. Aw, thanks John. I don't know, I mean, I feel like people ask me

is your show for gay and lesbians? And the truth is, we are more straight focused, but I feel like a lot of the advice that we give, you can use whether you're gay or straight now. If I'm talking about kind of lingus and you're gay, you're probably not gonna use that information. But I mean, the advice that we give, you can use whether you're gay or straight now. If I'm talking about kind of linguists and you're gay, you're probably not gonna use that information. But I mean, the things that we talk about what turns you on and body parts and orgasm,

and I think a lot of that stuff's relevant, but maybe we should do more gay related. Just. Yeah, maybe some more gay gay. We don't. We have a lot of gay guests. And you know what? Fernando Greg is a friend of ours.

There are two gay radio DJs, and they do a lot of gay topics on their podcast. You can find it on Stitcher. Yeah. Download Stitcher and then the search, Fernando Greg, SciShow. They talk about gay issues every single day. I mean, don't stop listening to us, but it's just add it to your playlist. Yeah, Fernando and Greg, you can get it on Stitcher, which is a great app. Stitcher STITCHER.

Download it. Download it. Free, and you can listen to iPhone. You can listen to any podcast. That's great. Okay, hi, Emily. I've listened to your podcast for a while, and I love them. I sent an email while back asking for advice.

My boyfriend and I were having some problems, and I wasn't sure if we should just end it or have a less committed friends with benefits relationship. You advised me to end it and find someone who really wanted to be with me. Men disagreed but said I would never do it because women never learned. Well, I'm happy to say I took your advice, though kicking and screaming the entire time, it was tough but you were right. I recently signed up for an online dating site and I'm solely starting to date again. I went out with a nice guy two days ago, but I just didn't feel any chemistry. We had fun and he has contacted me since to go out again.

So here's my question. What is the best way to let him know that I don't think were good, mathematically, but that I did like him as a friend? Is it even possible to become friends after that? Things again, Anna from San Francisco. She's a friend of a friend of a summer. Okay, so Anna, I think it's great

that you ended the relationship because it's so true that people, even though medicine agree, I'm meant to say you would never learn. But it is true that people tell you, people are pretty clear if you're in a relationship what they want, what they don't want, and people aren't going to change. So if you want a relationship and he doesn't and he's telling you that, then you want more, you're not going to convince him, he might come around, that could happen, but it's not going to be any doing to you. It's not going to be because of you, so I think it's great that you ended it.

Now, to your question about online dating, honestly, honestly is the best policy here. I think you can say to him, I would just email him and say, I had such a good time with you, I don't see a romantic connection, but stay in touch. I don't know that you're going to become great friends. Although a lot of times, you know, if you guys really did have a good chemistry as friends, maybe he'll be like, cool, let's hang out. I've heard great stories about people meeting online, becoming friends, and then they end up fixing each other up.

I've actually gone out and dates with friends of mine's match dates that didn't work out, but they're like, you'd really like Emily. And so you never know, but I would just say that the honesty is the best policy. I mean, I have a lot of friends who just kind of don't want to deal with it and they'll just blow off the guy. And I think the best thing to say is like, thank you so much.

I had a great time. I'm not really feeling a connection in a romantic way, but I hope we can say in touch. That's what I would say. What would you want to hear about us? Um, if she generally feels that way, like, oh, it'd be fun to hang out then. I'd love to say, hey, you know what? Romantically again, I don't see anything happening, but you know, I have this cool event. You should come out with me too. It'd be fun.

Yeah. If you really want to hang out with them, invite them to lunch again or something, but if not, you could just put it out there and see what he says. But thanks for writing and I'm glad that that we helped you out. Okay, hi, Emily. I'm a new member and thought I tried to email you. My question to you is this, I'm always, I'm almost always horny. Have sex with my wife for an hour about once a week, but we're here out. I masturbate once or sometimes twice a day, but it just never seems to be enough. After half an hour, I'm horny and want to do it again. Any ideas had to be the ratings besides cravings besides, pouring myself out there. Ha ha ha. Thanks Brad. He's from Victoria,

Australia. Okay, Brad, this is a great question because it's going to lead us into our topic about sex addiction. I'm not sure where you're at on it. I mean, there's nothing wrong with masturbating every day but that feeling that urge that it's never enough. And that's how you can tell when you have an addiction is if you know, it's nothing wrong with masturbating every day and wanting a lot of sex. But it's when it wreaks havoc on your life,

your career, you know, like you're playing Warcraft and you can't leave your house and the bird shitting all over the place or whatever your minuses talking about earlier. So let's get into the topic and we can talk about how to know if you have an addiction, what some of the signs are and what to do about it and how to know if you're just somebody like sex. Nothing wrong with that either. Okay. First thing is, the term sexual addiction is used to describe the behavior of a person who has

unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of a person who has unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tends to dominate the sex addicts thinking making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships. So all you're thinking about is sex. One more again, sex again, one more again, and you can't have a normal relationship. Sex addicts often engage in distorted thinking and they rationalize and they justify their behavior and blaming others for their problems. They generally deny that they have a problem and make excuses for their actions. Now, this is not so different than a lot of different addicts.

If you're an alcoholic or you're a drug addict or you're a food addict or no reader, you know, whatever, that they often have distorted thinking and you justify your behavior. And the only way you're going to realize you have a problem is if you actually say that you have to admit that you have a problem. So first of all, what is normal? This is what is normal. Mastering every day, no problem. Even twice a day.

That is completely normal. Thinking about sex often is also normal. It should not be seen as a problem unless it gets in the way in harm's other aspects of your life like we just said. But here are some behaviors that are associated with addiction. If you have addiction, compulsive masturbation. So like you're chafing. You're chafing. You have to masturbate like 10 times a day. Like didn't we have a woman in the news story who said like she had a masturbate like 30 times a day. Like, didn't we have a woman in the news story who said like she had to masturbate like 30 times a day?

And she like did a doctor and she got like a doctor's note or something. She was trying to do one, she was at work. And then work wanted to let her go because she just kept on leaving. Yeah, and she actually got to stay. But anyway, multiple affairs, extra mirror low affairs. These are some signs that you might have an addiction.

Multiple are anonymous sexual partners and are one-night stands, consistent use of pornography. Now, again, this is all tricky. If you watch porn every day, not a problem, but consistent, consistent might mean several times a day. And again, if you don't have your pornography one day, if your internet's down and you can't access it, and it's like freaking you out might be an addiction. If you have't have your pornography one day, if your internet's down and you can't access it and it's like freaking you out might be in addiction. If you have a lot of unsafe sex phone or computer sex cyber sex

prostitution are use of process dudes exhibitionism obsessive dating through personal ads voyeurism watching others and are stalking sexual harassment voyeurism, watching others and are stalking, sexual harassment, molestation and rape. Those are some signs. It does not mean you're an addict, but if you have any of those behaviors and they're obsessive, they're compulsive, there might be a problem. Generally, a person who has a sex addiction gains little satisfaction. This is the irony from the actual sexual activity and they form no emotional bond with their sex partners. You might have a bond with your primary partner,

but if you're constantly masturbating, you're having an affairs and you have no feelings for that other person, that isn't a sex addiction. In addition, the problem of sex addiction leads to feelings of guilt or shame. So you feel super guilty every time you do it, you're like, okay, this is gonna be the last time I see a prostitute and then you do it again. A sex addict also looks feels a lack of control over their behavior. They can control when they have sex, when

they masturbate, despite negative consequences. They have financial, health, social, and emotional problems. So they still can't control their behavior, although they're losing their job, their wife left them, and, you, and they can't leave the house. So that is what a person with addiction. So people assume that sexist should mean someone, and it's typically a man who has an incest that needs to make sexual conquest, and that's kind of what it is.

Do you know who sexist should menace? No, but Dr. Drew actually had a show. I know. You know what sex we have. Right. That was really good. And they had this one pro-sports athlete You actually had a show. I know. You know what the sex we have. Right. That was really good. And you know, they had this one pro sports athlete where he did extreme sports.

We're like surfing and all that kind of stuff. But he was such an addict that he would never leave his house. He would just stay home and like master bait or he would like hook up with his buddies, friends, girlfriends and it would just like ruin his life. It's like destructive. And also, I actually was my one and only acting debut was in a movie called I Am a Sex addict. Have you seen him in a...

No, but I can't wait till people start googling you and finding you. Okay, so find I Am a Sex addict. It was actually a critically claimed. It was a movie theaters, and you can rent it on Netflix. You can get it wherever you get movies. You can tell Netflix. Netflix.

Netflix. So it's called, I am a sex addict. And it's actually, he's sort of like a Persian Woody Allen. His name's Kavay Zaheddi. He's a director and an actor in it. You might not love the movie, but it's a good movie. People love it. Some people hate it.

But the point is he talks, he goes through his entire process of his sex addiction. And he really was a sex addict. I play his girlfriend in the movie. And in the movie, he's addicted to prostitutes and he can't stop sleeping with prostitutes even though he's in these relationships with women. And so it goes through his whole journey and he actually enters a 12-step program. You shut that quite a while, yo. When was that? 2005. Yeah. Yeah, it was a while ago. So the thing about sex addiction is that the thing that helped him, Kaveh in the movie, is Sex Addicts Anonymous.

And Sex Addicts Anonymous is a 12-step program, much like a program that you'd use for AA. It's very, very similar to the 12 steps. And I think that that is a great, they have sex addicts and anonymous meetings in every city. You just have to look it up online and you can find a group and go and anonymous meetings in every city. You just have to look it up online and you could find a group and go and see if that's you. It's called sex and love addicts, anonymous, actually. So that's what I guys are at there.

So experts don't even agree. There are some experts that don't agree that sex addiction is a true addiction. And some experts believe that sexual addiction is literally an addiction that could be compared to alcohol and drug addictions, which is true. And some people think it's a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and other people think it's made up. However, many agree, they do agree, that the difference between having a high sex drive and being a sex addict is that a high sex drive does not involve feelings of guilt and shame. The relationship difficulty or the legal problems. So that's

how you know. And so if you have sex addiction, you might want to think about that. But here's some things here. If you just have a high sex drive and want to get under control, so maybe this is for a person who wrote in, here's some tips. You can engage your body in exercise. These are great tips for any kind of addiction. Engage your body and exercise. Try yoga. Keep your body busy and active so you don't feel physically frustrated from not having sex. You can also pursue non-sexual relationships with people. So try to be friends people that you don't want to sleep with. For a guy, guys, I want to do that. Guys don't need friends with girls, I don't want to sleep with. Consider traveling or taking

up a new hobby to bond with your partner in different ways. You can still have satisfying relationships with outsex, abstained from alcohol and drugs, especially if you feel they lower your inhibitions in my ecology, do something you regret. If you have a low sex drive, are you just wanting to enhance your sex drive as well as have stronger, longer orgasms? You can try hot rocks. We love hot rocks. They're one of our sponsors. It's RAWKS.

I've been taking them for two months. It helps with orgasms. It's a natural afrodisiac and you will love hot rocks. So that's what I got to say about sex addiction. We get a lot of questions about it and that is the difference between if you're an addict or just have a high sex drive. Oh, speaking about things, you also have an app called Kegel Camp. Kegel Camp, yeah. And I'm not trying to just do a high sex drive. Oh, speaking about things, you also have an app called Kegelcamp. Kegelcamp, yeah.

And I'm not trying to just do a plug. There was an actual, I was telling you how people are tweeting me over the weekend. And it was so funny because Stitcher caught one of the tweets. And they go, Emily, when are you gonna come out with the Android app, you know, all the stuff? I know. And then Twitter, I mean, not Twitter,

but Stitcher thought they were talking about the podcast. Oh, okay They're like oh Stitcher's like oh Stitcher, we we have it for for Android. You know what are you talking about? And I tweeted back I go I don't think that's the app that It's true. I mean if we've been trying to find a really good Android developer, and it's hard to find. It's hard, man. Don't you agree? It's really hard, you know. Like, if you're good, we had someone email us once and he was really flaky about it, but a listener, but if you happen to know any good,

Android developers, Android, we would love to make an app for the Android. It's so funny, because I went to lunch at Google one time, and I was telling them, I was like, man, it's really hard to find a developer for Android because they are the ones that create Android. And they go, oh, no, no, man, they're all, there's this website, it's called Google appinventor.com. Just go in there, you can make it yourself. I'm like, oh, okay, cool, you know, because I can build.

You can find figured out. I can build. Madison SmartKin. Yeah, I can build basic websites. Yeah. I get on there and I started building it. I couldn't get past the first page of how to move things together.

I go, this is not easy. And I look at the forums, the help forums and stuff like that. And I see the name of the person writing all the help forums. So I look and I Google this guy and find him on Facebook. His education is like computer science and tell computer intelligence For MIT and what's on like dude wonder these people are gonna make something for the basic I know I can't believe that you couldn't figure it out I know I know I do handle a lot of web, but man it was so hard

Well, if you're a good droid developer let us know I have another app coming out that I'm developing right now too. Good. I know the droid market is just as big as the iPhone market. Just as big. I'm not discriminating. I cannot find a god damn droid developer. Yeah. And droid developer. Hopefully it will happen one day. It'll happen soon.

Okay everyone, thanks so much for listening. Anything else? Man, so you got to add any wisdom? Any wisdom. On the inside. Just talk to... Just keep it real you got to add any wisdom. Any wisdom. On the inside. Just talk to- Just keep it real. Talk to some random people.

I had a lot of fun like over the weekend just talking, I know you hate talking people on the plane. No, it's just the plane. On the plane. But you know, you get stuck in an elevator with somebody to say, hey, where are you from? Wow, say hello. That's good. That's good.

I've met so many cool people and fun people over the weekend. You know, you just got to throw yourself out there sometimes. That's a good thing. It's not great advice for dating. I've had so many cool people and fun people over the weekend. You know, you just got to throw yourself out there sometimes. That's a good thing. And that's not great advice for dating. If you're somebody who is not, and you're like, you know, it's so hard to meet. Women, it's hard to meet men. Just start practicing and saying hi to people of your same sex or opposite sex, and then

you get more used to it. And it doesn't always mean you have to be for sexual gain that you just want to say hi to someone, but it's good to get in practice of just talking to strangers because that's how you're going to meet the next person. Oh, I had the same opener every single time. Uh oh. Where are you from? Where are you from? It's such a good one.

Where are you from? They say, Oh, you were from and then anything that I know about their area, that's what I started to conversation with. Right. You look at it in the hamburger there. And it always leads to something else. Exactly. Where are you from?

It's been very rare that I do not know anything about where somebody is from. That's the best pickup line. We're gonna tell you, although we never like to say a good pickup line. Okay everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. It was a good for you. Email me feedback at sexwithemlee.com.