Sex With Emily - SWE: Sex Facts

Episode Date: December 21, 2012

Put on your spandex pants because Emily’s talking about sexercises and all the facts you need to know about sex. Emily reveals a new trend involving geography, sex, and smell. Then she gets into a slew of other topics, including: cheating, premarital sex, swinging, Kegels, oral sex, loss of desire, and Emily’s favorite phrase “Jack Rabbit Sex.” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kinda cute. The girl's got a hair stand, it's so nice. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks. And we not talk about sex so much.

Are you kidding me? Ah, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom,emily.com where you can listen to our podcasts, I know for a mailing list, and do all that fun stuff. Thanks everyone for listening to the show. I love you. Have I told you how much I love you lately? I really, really do. And we appreciate hearing from everybody at feedback at sexwithemily.com. And if you like my Facebook page, which is sex with Emily, I would like you even more. Menace, what's up? Hi, how you doing? I'm good. How are you good to see you good good? It's been great. I haven't seen you, but I'm really like in a good place It's weird. It seems I haven't seen you in a while. Have we missed something? We missed a show we we missed we we missed early we recorded early and then I missed you for a week

Okay, but we've we're have a backlog of so many shows so it doesn't even really matter Yeah, I know and people get upset that we don't post them just because I posted the Christmas show in January. Second just not a big deal. Whatever. Whatever people it's still good. You're still liking it right? So it's San Francisco has been very, very warm.

It has. Yeah and I've noticed that I've gotten picked up like three times in three days telling you the second the temperature rises. I'm like I've met dress different. That's why I always dress the same. Little more. I'm wearing the sexiest pants you want to see. Okay. I didn't mean them to be so sexy. I meant them to be funny. But look they're spandex. Really? They're spandex pants and people were like oh hey like you're passing two men stop me and they're like, I like your pants.

And I got two compliments on my car, which is weird, because that never happens. And then these guys, this guy was like, hey, yesterday, which was January 24th or six, or whatever, he's like, hey, so, happy new year. I was getting my car and he's like, happy new year. I'm like, thanks. He's like, yeah, I like your car.

I'm like, thanks, it's like so., I like your car. I'm like, thanks. Like, so do you want? I've seen you around. Like, he was just totally picking me up. First of all, he, he, you can't happy New Year on January 26. That's what I'm saying. I just had this conversation. I swear to God. It's not the New Year anymore. It's practically Valentine's Day and I swear out everything, everything. Okay. Our friendship, everything that we do here, my job, that five minutes before I saw you, I was having the same conversation with somebody,

because I got an email today with somebody saying Happy New Year. Yeah, it's buggy me. I'm sorry. You say Happy New Year, maybe three days after. I'm done. You don't need to say Happy New Year. But why?

I think this guy was nervous when he said it like once or twice. He was happy new year and I like your car and can we go out and I was like no just premature yeah I'm not premature late I say something that's we live here in the San Francisco Bay area and it was so funny and people have been talking about this for a long time really is there there's a term that we use here and they don't really use it anywhere else in the country. What is it? It's called hella, which means a lot or really, you know. Right. And on the front of the San Francisco Chronicle is said it's hella hot. It did? People were dying.

That is. It's how awesome it was. That is so awesome. I am annoyed personally by the hella. Yeah. When people use hella as a word. It's not from this area. I'm not from this area, but. Yeah. When people use hella. Because we're not from this area. I'm not from this area, but you use it.

All the time, because I love it. I was born racer. I know, but I don't. So I find it, it's father, I used to be one of the criterion for me. When I first came here, I'm like, can't do the guy that says hella. But now I'm over it.

Yeah. Because I think it's cute. It's so soon you say it. We say it. Hella. Say any sentence. Oh man, there was hella chicks at this party. Really? I'm it's cute. It's so soon you say it. We say it. Hello. Say any sentence. Oh man, there was hella chicks at this party.

Really? I mean, that's good. That's hot. No. I like how you say it. But how's everything else been going? Everything's been really good. I'm dating scene.

Everything. The dating scene. I've been dating this guy and a new one. And I like him. We've known each other for a really long time. Oh yeah. We talked about this. We're not like BF at where we were not close But we had a lot of mutual friends and it was really weird that people said to me

Well, he got everybody else to suggest for you to date it. I tell you this already Yeah, well you broke it down and I thought the theory that he talked to everybody. Oh Didn't Didn't did you think he's like manipulating like like hey when next time you see Emily tower that would be a great Matt or just like feel it out see what she says. Yeah, well, I said I don't know what happened I was like oh my god three people tell me a day to all day show some dating him. I like him. It's great It's fun whatever and then what have we done? Yeah, we've no We both work a lot and he works a lot and so we have a lot of late night

A lot of late night rendezvous, but we did fine. I just oh we went to play and we went boring. We went to I can't remember anyway, whatever. I'll let you know when it gets okay going, but um Also my I found out that my book is coming out in October and you're going to be able to pre-order and it's being released by Simon and Chooster. No way, congratulations. Thank you. You didn't even know that yet. I had to tell you. So everyone, I will be telling you more about it as you know like I do that rules. I know I'm so excited And so it's a really beautiful. I got my first copy and it's beautiful It's it's like a coffee table book of beautiful sex positions and people. Uh-huh. I think you could learn a lot Menace really yeah, I really do. How are you doing? What's the latest and greatest good a lot of things going on man? I know I talked in the past podcast but I started new working on new

morning shows I get up at like 3 a.m. every day. Keller I get to work by like 4.30 a.m. and then I started the show at 5.30 a.m. I'm moving. Yeah where where. Honey I'm so proud of you because can I tell you you know how I feel up men with roommates after six. Men with roommates after certain age not a good suggestion you did you listen to you one time you did it's just really why you're moving because without roommates because you yeah honey I'm so glad so I'm like five minutes away from here oh that's great yeah so it's cool oh then got that and I also I I got rid of my car when I I lived in the

city but then I realized, you know what? I want to get out more and go more places. Right, two fun things. We live in the Bay Area. There's so many of you can go skiing one weekend in one country, yeah. Yeah, so I'm not that you'll go to the wine country, but. No, never in a million years. But this car company that I've been talking to, they're probably going to give me a car

for a year. Guess be great. And they already had me design the car last night on the line. Oh cool. That's great. I might have a fancy new movie to pick up the chicks. New ride, new. Whatever happened to that chick you asked out on like two shows ago, you asked her out on the air.

Yeah, we actually ended up we. You delayed, I know. I don't know any cancel. And she invited me to go out to this thing that was like three times as far as I would normally go But I went and we we had a good time. Did you make out? No, we didn't make out. You're such a liar, man It's where you like her. I like her so I'm not gonna tell only that I'm stuck my tongue down No, I swear to god. I didn't I didn't so this would happen. Okay, she's really into hockey, right? She's more

More into man things that I am okay, and so we went down to San Jose, California watch the hockey game. So I had fun. No, it was fun and then We met us with some friends and then they wanted to continue to go out and party But I couldn't do it because I have work yeah, right so I had to How to come back Can you grab her and kiss her before you left? Huh? In front of everybody else. Well, yeah, but like why she walks you dear

All right, she was like in front of it. It was like Seven other people have he followed up We were yeah, we've been talking but okay. Do you like her? I do like her a lot, but The middle of moving and all this I know. Okay. I got it I'm like focusing on nobody right her. I do like her a lot, but I'm in the middle of moving and all this. I know. Okay. I got it. I'm like focusing on nobody right now. I understand except for yourself. Which is fine. There's nothing wrong with focusing yourself. I've been doing it my whole life. I'm calling it a rebuilding year. Really? That's good. Yeah. I think moving is going to be so good for you. It's really good for people to move in by themselves or a men to move out from those roommates who just sit around and smoke a ball all day. Not there's anything wrong with that, but it's not hot when a woman walks into a apartment after a certain age, I'd say after 30 and you've got roommates running around and they're

like 30 gross bathroom. It's like, it's not fun. You can't really, I'm not down with it. It's a nice cleanse because. It sounds snobby, but it's true. Like, it's a certain age you shouldn't have roommates. I threw out literally eight bags of stuff Have in I'm gonna have like do that clears you psychically to let all the new goodness come in when you let go of things

Yeah, I every time I bring home something new whether it be like a shirt or like a car in a milk I get rid of that mouth. I'm like what's in my refrigerator spoiled throw that away I do not like bringing new stuff in without clearing out because it's just carmically whatever. It's good for you. Yeah. So on today's show, this is what we were talking about. I just wanted to say this because I know a lot of people write us letters. We've been getting so many emails lately. And here's some of the topics we're going to cover and we don't, it's oral sex that's over time. This man actually wants to know if women are into oral sex in the 50s or the 30s seems to be different. He says Kiggles why they're important key collector sizes

Sorry honey, Kiggles swingers and loss of sexual desire We're also gonna be giving you some sex new sex facts that are out and sex in the news. I Think we should do some sex in the news. What do you think? Sex and news before you start. Can I do some sex in the news? Because I know you never watch your news. Oh yeah. Yeah. Jersey Shore. Yes. Okay. I never watched it, but I got addicted. And no, you say you watch it. I've seen it before. Yeah. They brought a new chick on and the rumor is that she's really into tossing the salad. So they had a whole like episode on about how she tossed the salad and she's denying that she tossed Is the salad that she's really into it and was weird because another

Radio buddy in mind told me that he had a girlfriend that was really into tossing this What could you explain that more? It's Where you please somebody orally, orally, orally, I can't even talk right, I can't even say, yeah, annually with your mouth, right? Right, so she's into men doing that to her. No, her doing that to men. She's in, she likes doing that to men.

Yeah, someone like that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. So that was a big highlight. I wonder if you like that if Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. So that was a big highlight. I wonder if you like that if you let someone do it. Sex in the news. Oh, that is sex in the news. I didn't even get that as one of my stories. It was just a passable day. I know Jersey Shore. Sometimes I see Jersey Shore and I just call it a water cooler talk. Right. And I don't know how water cooler. So what can you do or television or a television?

By that's on the list for 2011 No, to get a TV. Okay sex booze or young people prefer praise to sex and money Sex booze or money can't just can't compare with the jolt young people get from a boost to their self-esteem Says a new study of college students. So it says that a new study of college students found that the desire for praise trumped other desires or needs. We look at all the things college students love and they love self-esteem even more. So basically it's saying that the kids wanted to be more, you know, in they wanted to be more reaffirmed rather than just like smooth and money. The most important thing was feeling like

they were doing a good job and they were getting praised. So do you think that's true? I love praise. I love praise. I like feet off of it. It's weird. I think we're just on the same level because I had this conversation the other night.

No way dude. Yeah, because we're talking, I some friends. They they just want to switch not that they have a bad job. They just want to switch jobs jobs because they feel that no one is giving them praise on all the worth. Right. If you are a boss, you've got to tell people that they're doing a good job every once in a while. And when you're telling them people the only the bad things and you're really worried about your own stuff You got it really just your employees people need this. This is a good study It says it was done in college students, but it's like it says kids are being raised with more and more expectation Kids at a very early age are socialized to do well and they're hard workers

And if they're not receiving this affirmation, they're gonna start having negative feelings about themselves I mean we all need it. Yeah, but see not to play devil's advocate, but I will. Okay. It's your job. That's what you're supposed to do. Why am I gonna go, oh, good. Not every day, but it's someone. Like your puppy or like a kid, like, it's your job.

That's what you're supposed to do. You are supposed to do your job right. But, you know, all me, we're like dogs. Like, we want to treat if we don't well. Like, we go and walk. We like, we did everything we were supposed to do on that walk. We want to dogs. Like we want to treat if we don't well. Like we go and walk, we like did, we did everything we were supposed to do on that walk, we want to come in and we want to treat. We want to feel good.

People want parameters. And I think people want us goals, that you know set goals and that you reach them and you get a certain, even if it's not direct praise, I think there's a ways of having like, of having the system set up. So you feel like you're achieving certain things and you feel like you're reaching goals. Otherwise life is just you're just rambling about. Yeah. I

agree with the goal reaching but I don't feel that I need praise all the time. But you look really good today. Oh, not for me. I took a nap. Kind of. Yeah. That's what I said. I was like men. This is downstairs. Yeah, because he's singing in Okay, premarital sex in America better for men question mark. So there's Americans waiting longer to marry How is the internet changing modern relationships? These are some questions in a new book called premarital sex in America How young Americans meet mate and think about mariety marrying him? According to them It's increasingly easier for men to have sex with no strings attached. It becomes harder for women to find long-term relationships.

So this is all about how men are more likely that it's premarital sex is better because men can always find somewhat, like they're saying that men is that it just benefits the man. I'll tell you why. Okay, I didn't get to the whole thing But basically it's a new book about how it's better for the man everything's better for the man Primeral sex is better for the man like everything in all these studies It's always like well, it's better for the man like marriage is better benefits a man There was a study they came out that said marriage is beneficial to a man of course

Primeral sex is benefit to a man, you know just because yeah, that kind of reminds me of this TV series that I've been watching. It's called The Tutors and it's about kings and queens and all this stuff. And it's based on true stories. I'm sorry, I'll get all the names wrong, so I'm not even going to mention. But it's funny because the king, he had his wife, then he had all these other chicks that he was banging on the side. And then he tried to get to this one other girl and she's like not not gonna give it up till I get married and she drove him Crazy, yeah, men go crazy to can't get it and but she like flaunts is like I really want to give it to you But I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give it to you unless we're married and he goes through all this stuff To get a divorce from his from his wife to get with this one chick.

Because it had to be like, okay, by the pope and stuff like that. And it's a really good series. It's really. I've heard that it's really good. There's a lot of banging in it. Oh, I want to see it. Love making. It's okay.

Yeah, but it's really cool because a lot of a lot of stuff is like things that really happened. Right. exactly. I'm dying to see that one. I heard it was good. So one more thing on this that says, sleeping with someone just because you want to is terribly empowering and frankly, it's not probably not difficult either. Sex with strings comes to be seen as unnecessary.

Men have to want to commit. Plenty eventually do thankfully, but enough don't, or they still stall for years. So that's the new state of relationships that men are stalling more among committing. This is why what other women do matters for what any given woman can expect. So that's why like women are expecting more because women have the time limit of becoming a certain age and have one if kids and men can delay it. So... Well, I think that men, they they will commit if they find the right person, but if there's

if there's if there's people in between that it's willing to sleep with them then they're going to sleep with them. Exactly. Oh man. What? Just so difficult. No, it's really not.

I just think it's changing. I want to make this book. I find it's really interesting the way that relationships have changed so much in the world about how people are delaying marriage and people are not. There are more. I want to see this no strings of chance even though it's by the movie. I heard about it. Have you seen it? No, but I heard good things about it. I heard mixed things about it too, but it's just that whole No Strings attached that kind of kind of I was just tweeting about this.

Like, can that really exist? And like, I always say, there's always strings attached to everything. There ain't no free lunches. And there ain't no strings attached to lunch. Out of the text. Strings is No Strings attached to everything. Like there ain't no free lunches. And there ain't no strings attached lunch. I just text strings, no strings attached sex. Did we have a couple of drinks before the show? No. Because we are really slurring today. Am I really? No, I am.

And you just did a little bit. I just did one slur. Yeah. That's funny. Oh, honey. What? I'm not even going to bring it up. What?

No, I'm not going to bring it up. Go. OK, I'm just going to bring it up. Go ahead. It's almost our 200th show. What? And we should do something like we were gonna do for 169, 30 shows ago.

I'm gonna promise. I can bring it back. I think this is literally our 200th show. Are you serious? No, you want 99. No way. And I just feel like speaking of drinking. Yeah.

And we should do something. Well now I have a new schedule, I can do it. Okay. I can do it. No, I can't speaking of drinking. Yeah. And we should do something. Well, now I have a new schedule. I can do it. OK. I can do it. No, I can't. I swear. I'll tell you, do it, Emily. I'm G-Jay and Cloud tonight.

I can't do it tonight. OK. Oh, man, I totally forgot what I was going to say. I'm sure it was fine. I had something. It was good. Was it? But I'll remember.

OK, the power of smell and picking sex partners. So the power of smell we always say is them is so important in picking sex partners. Like if I've heard people say I had a friend say to me he's like I really like this woman and I did not like the way she smelled. I had a friend who's like she's dating this woman. She was so into vitamins and she was like really organic and he's like I don't like the way she tastes and I don't like the way she smells. And and you have to like fear moans and all that stuff Is really important like when you're with a guy that smells good. It's like so good

Like you want to like wear their cologne like they're amazing So here this is broken down by region as far as in each city we tested women reported different scent preferences Indicating the geography has a direct correlation to what sense that women find attractive. So this is what women found attractive with men. These kind of sense. In New York, coffee, a coffee scent. I don't understand, just rub beans all over you. Los Angeles was lavender, Chicago vanilla, Houston barbecue. Houston barbecue. What? Atlanta cherry. I'll tell you what. Phoenix, you can lip this.

Philadelphia clean laundry. Yeah, that's good. I know. I like that. There's nothing here about San Francisco. Dallas, they like smoke and fireplace. In the Midwest, like smokey things. But let me tell you why.

Sent can trigger powerful memories, especially from our childhoods, which is why these cents may still exert a hold at us for years. So it comes from your childhood. So I guess all these people in Austin, maybe are in Texas who are arguing a lot, they find a woman who smells like short ribs is just sexy. I like it. Like it, like it, like it. Okay, I got more like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. Okay, you never Headline he'll forgive your cheating ways as long as it's for another girl True so if I if you and I were hookin up and I was like oh, dude I would never hook up with anyone. Oh, but I did go down on Alisha the other night you wouldn't care half of the men would forgive their partners Infidelity as long as it was with another woman according

to a new study on cheating. Yeah. Yeah. Women, however, were less likely to forgive their boyfriend and their boyfriend with another man. Yeah. Because that's different. But so if you were so we fewer with a girl and she was like, yeah.

Uh, well, I don't know if she was doing it behind my back. How it honestly how I'd feel But if I had like an understanding right the girl that was dating like she's like look I really am into chicks, you know, but I I want to be with you Right, I probably can make an arrangement where that would be okay, okay, but if she wanted to hook up with that other dudes That's just not sexy to me, you know, right? No, no other dudes different But this is other girls, so I thought that was Hot right I know some guys are into that. Oh, they're they're women sleeping with other guys like

I don't know how that does that but My chick with another chick. Yeah, that kind of turns me on. Yeah That's right you on but what if you weren't invited, honey she cheated on you? Like you weren't invited to this little rendezvous. And we didn't have a pretty understanding? Well, hopefully you'd ever pre-understanding. You'd be cool. That's what you're saying. Yeah, it'd be cool.

But if she just sprung it on me, then we'd probably have a long talk, and I would probably have to contemplate on the relationship. Got it. Good to know. Yeah, I think that- But if it was a dude, I'd be totally dude, I mean, the truth is the same thing. It's like, I mean, how

how he explained it to me when I had this conversation with the guy I was saying, I was like, why would it be a big deal if I picked up with a chick, for example? He's like, because it's like saying we're both not gonna have sex other people, but you actually then are going to have sex with someone else. So in our agreement of not having sex outside of our relationship, we were talking hypothetically because we're not in a relationship. But he was like, that would still be like, you be having sex. I don't care if it's with the woman, you be with someone else. What abs?

Film the untuckest penis on that one. I will. Okay. We got a word from our sponsor because you know what Valentine's Day is coming up. Yeah. We're doing a big Valentine's Day push this year. We're doing very exciting giveaways of Valentine's Day. But this is from AdamNeeve.com. Make this Valentine's Day one that you will never forget with this amazing offer from Adam and Eve.com. Through Valentine's Day, you'll receive 50% off of any item.

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woman to provide to give you something for Valentine's day? No, because you usually give me something lame. So I don't really want anything on Valentine's day. Okay, that's fair I'm not gonna be here The Grammys is on Valentine's Day for some reason. Oh, you mean the Grammys I'm gonna be an Aspen Aspen yeah, really yeah doing what? With you just nothing oh really just you know a weekend away. No, it's friends birthday. Uh-huh It's a friends birthday. Yeah, there's like 50 of us going. Uh-huh. That's what I always say. Oh, there was 50 of us and we just drank wine and we talked and nothing happened

I'll tell you something goes down Okay, let's get moving to some list of your mail. Go ahead. Okay. Thanks to everyone for emailing me feedback at sexfellamy.com You can like my fan page if you'd like on Facebook. You can also interface with me there. Interface? Can communicate with you. Interfaces, if you're building Facebook yourself, you may be saying interface. I knew that was wrong when it came out. I'm really tired. It's Friday. It's late. Okay. And I'm not drunk yet, but I'm going to think tonight might be the night.

Okay. Emily, you have said how much you enjoy receiving oral attention. Attention. Have I? Yes, you have on many occasions. I wish I could assist as I love the taste of a woman. Sorry, okay, anyway, this brings up my question. No, I didn't have time. No, this is my biggest problem, no time, no time. That brings me to my question. I've noticed

that I thought this was really interesting. Through personal experience that older women, my age or older, 50 plus are reluctant to accept oral attentions. Women in their 40s will accept it to a certain extent, but generally don't want more than five minutes as a warm-up. I have found that younger women, 20s and 30s, are extremely accepting of licking and kissing of the vagina. Do you think that this is a byproduct of changing attitudes of oral sex on women in the last 20 years? Do you know of any other older women that could enlighten us on why they feel it's not good for play activity? Let me know if you ever come to New Mexico. I'd love to give you some personal attention,

Robert. No, I didn't pre-read this. Now I skimmed it. Robert, what up? OK, I think that's really, really interesting that women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, because I feel that way about bikini hair. I feel like women in their 20s know hair.

Women in their 30s, partial hair. Women in their 40s know hair women in their 30s partial hair women in their 40s They're like just coming around to oh I should shave but we didn't shave and so pubic hair is different I don't know about their like of oral sex So if you're woman listening and you're 20s 30s 40s 50s How do you feel about oral sex feedback at sex with Emily calm? I don't I think that maybe also it could have to do it just as a woman gets older maybe that she just doesn't doesn't feel the same. Maybe

it changes. I think she's kind of just over it by then right and when you're younger it's all new. See I wasn't into it in my 20s. I didn't I didn't really get it and there wasn't any guys who got it clearly in their 20s. No. They're just I don, I think it took me, I developed a taste for it, if you will. Yes. No one intended at all because it makes no sense that I would have developed it. Well, I mean, anyway. So I liked it as I got older. So I don't really see the parallels, I didn't see this in my own life, but be interested

to know if there are trends in sex. You've always asked me, oh, you've a sexist, so what's the trends in sex? Yeah, what's hot right now? What's hot right now? It's like, oh, women in the 40s don't like girl sex. I don't know if this is trends in sex. Who always asks me, oh, you've sex, so what's the trends in sex? Yeah, what's hot right now? What's hot right now? It's like, oh, women in the 40s don't like girl sex. I don't know if this is hotter, if this is true, but let me know. I know most women, I know like girl sex,

although a lot, some don't. But haven't you found this woman? She's like, no, no, no, don't do that. Or you don't try. Yeah, no, no, no. Definitely try. You definitely do that. OK, cool.

It's a special one. Especially. I know. Man, this. What? It's so that. Okay. Cool. Is this special? Oh, I know. Venice. What? It's so cute. No. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Better relationships equal better sex.

Sing player institute, the leader in sex education products for adults, has been saying it for over 20 years. I've seen some of their DVDs and I highly recommend them. Find some players out on my products page on my website sexortemely.com and say 50% off any one item when you put an Emily 50. If check out, enjoy the show. I promise you're sex life will improve.

Hey, hey, Emily, love your show. I've been listening for about a month now in iTunes. I think we would make a great couple, but I live in Minnesota. Oh my God. I'm six, six, and Swedish, and could rub you down with Swedish massas. Okay, anyway, I love my space like you, so we could spend time together.

Okay, wait, wait, wait. I'm just gonna skip over the part where he tells me I'm not chasing. The reason for my email is the Kegel exercise. Kegel. Kegel, Kegel. I would like for you to talk about this for your female listeners. As a man, I've been doing this since my 20s, and now. I would like for you to talk about this for your female listeners.

As a man, I've been doing this since my 20s and now that I'm in my 30s, it has helped me greatly. And I'll explain this in a second. I can last longer and climax better. The women I've been with in the past, and I've shown how to do this. And once you learn it has been explosive, a few of them have actually been able to grab my penis and not let it out of them which totally turned me on. Like they can grab it with their like clenching their vagina When in the middle of sex and she is that power to grab you and stop you and give her some of the power you have during sex She can stop you grab you pull you when I have him with the ones that can do it They love it. Hope all women learn about it love your boyfriend and Minnesota Kevin. Hey Kevin Thank you. I'm actually developing a new iPhone app right now about key collectors at Kegel exercises, which is interesting

I'm actually developing a new iPhone app right now about key-gal exercises, which is interesting. I just want to explain it to you. Well, no, I don't want you to explain to me. I just want to go, where is the medical proof with this? Oh, it's a muscle. It's like, it is a proof. It is like, if you lose, okay, so let me explain the kagels. Okay.

I've done this before, but not everyone knows or gets it. So here's a little tutorial. So it's like, you know when you're going to the bathroom and you're peeing, so you stop, you stop the flow of urine. So it's like, you know when you're going to the bathroom and you're peeing. So you stop, you stop the flow of urine. So it's like, you know when someone's walking in, you're like, I want to stop peeing. It's that muscle and you exercise it in and out. You hold it for 10 seconds.

You release it for 10 seconds. You hold it for 10 seconds and it straightens those muscles truly. And it helps men with premature ejection, premature ejection, premature ejection. Why can't I say it? I don't know. There's something wrong with it today. Premature today is weird. Pemature ejaculation issues, erection issues, it can make your penis stronger.

I mean it helps men. It helps women with orgasm. A lot of times women can't orgasm. If you exercise these muscles, they're the PC muscles, the pubic muscles, then they become stronger. They really do. What you think about it, if you're clenching in and out, and so he's saying is, he's Kevin, my boyfriend in Minnesota,

is saying that he's with women who can actually like, clench onto his penis when he's inside and it feels really good. And I really, so my new iPhone app is going to be all about Kagel, it's called Kagel Coach. And it'll be coming out in a few months, but it's going to be about Teaching you how to do in a reminder you put on your iPhone to do your Kegels Which is kind of funny because I really truly believe that if you practice them

I know a guy who had problem with premature ejaculation and he started doing these exercises and now he can orgasm three times during sex and not necessarily come have an orgasm each time but it teaches you just, it's just it's good to do. So now that's your list. Okay. I'll download it. You'll download that? I will.

Okay. Alright. Hi, Emily. We've been married for 32 years and have been swinging for eight years. You guys have? No, this isn't a ladder. I'm just kidding. It's a joke.

I wish. Menace's stereotypes are totally false. And like menace, we also did not know what to expect when we started swinging. I don't know, menace, you just did something wrong. I just said he had a polling time. Exactly, exactly. Well, we found is that 99% plus of the true swingers are just the couples down the street. We have found swinging friends in every neighborhood.

Most swingers are in long-term relationships 10 plus years. I think that it makes sense due to the fact that it takes years to get comfortable with each other and over the fear of losing your significant other to the play partner. Most swingers are extremely intelligent and come from all walks of life, doctors, lawyers, firefighters, etc. The other thing that we have found is how much fun the swingers community has all the time and not just in bed They love life enjoy partying. It's amazing. We happens when you drop the barrier fear for sexual relations outside of relationship We've great friends all over the country now due to our embracing embracing the swinging lifestyle

We would gladly discuss whatever questions you have also men Is this also totally wrong on the hand job, low job debate. Oh, God. Discussion. Obviously, the first two times, ladies all about penetration, but a few great hand jobs mixed in by a talented lady is mind blowing. I've had many and some ladies have it and others are really coolist. We love your podcast, Dave and Connie. Thanks, Dave and Connie. We love you and come on our show and talk about your successful swinging relationship. I'd love to hear it or call in. I am just against so long. But Dave, do you have a pony tail?

Yeah. Just want to know if you have a ponytail. Yeah, put that in the email, everybody. When you start talking about swingers, tell me how long your hair is. You know, as a man. Right. No, but anyway, I'm honestly thinking like there I do know a lot I think that what he says something really important here, and I'm going to read the sentence again. He said that It is amazing what happens when you drop the barrier of fear of sexual relation relations outside your marriage Because most people want sexual relations outside their their marriage, they just do eventually.

They're together. 10, 15, 20 years. I want to have sex with that man. I just saw walking down the street or that woman. If you drop the fear around it, that it's like a horrible thing to have sex with that relationship, then you make it work. Can you become a swinger? Or you become polyamorous or whatever, but it's dropping that fear of not having sexual

relations. You're saying that you're going to be one girl for the rest of your life, not true? Why not? Maybe you will, but eventually you're going to maybe want to, and if you do, it's okay. Millions of people have done it. Yeah, but a lot of half the people cheat. So don't cheat, just be honest, and go outside. I'm not saying, just these people, I'm not saying, purporting any life is better. I know swinging polyamory people are monogamous I know happily monogamous people how they work it out But I think for a lot of people they have this fear that they could never be with anyone else again, and maybe you can If you work it out in your relationship. I don't know

What it's just gonna be your ongoing thing, but yeah, I just want to bring it to the 50s It wasn't swinging in the 50s. Yes, there was. There was. There was cheating and swinging, wasn't there? Cheating and swinging is the problem. Yeah, cheating, cheating is the number of forever. And probably swinging.

People were always taking with the neighbor. I go on the ramen days swinging. Exactly swinging, talking to the neighbor. I don't know, sitting with the neighbors. Okay. So Emily, just started listening to your podcast. I find it very informative and fun to listen to. My question is

I'm 22 and have been dating my current girl who is 25 for almost one and a half years now But our sex life has struggled a lot in the past six months It was not just a few days ago that she commented on how she hasn't felt sexual since before summer Just about six months ago. She doesn't know what happened or what caused it But she's just lost the desire to have sex something we used to have almost daily at the start of our relationship. We still have sex at times, but I can tell she's always rushing me through it and rarely, if ever, takes initiative in starting anything. She even turns down offers for me to perform oral sex on her more often than not.

Something that used to be her favorite thing for me to do. Have you ever heard of something like this before and is there an answer or something else she can do? She's very worried about losing me and I must admit this is putting a big strain in our relationship. Thank you, Sean. Well, Sean, this is common that women and men lose their sex drive or their libido. My first question for you would be is she on any kind of medication because oftentimes women or men are on certain antidepressant meds, the SSRIs, they cause people to have sexual issues like inability to orgasm, lower sex drive.

So the first thing I would do is get her checked out. It could also be depression. She could be going through something if she's not an SSRIs or maybe she is going through something else. Or maybe she just has something going on and she should be checked by her doctor. That's the first thing I say about this. If everything is ruled out, then maybe there's some other stuff going on. Maybe she's sex therapist, maybe she has some sex inhibitions or so.

I mean, I'm not really sure, but usually it is something kind of physical, psychological going on with her. And I would have her go see a doctor or a therapist. That's what I would say because I can't tell you. When you ask me have I ever heard of something like this before? Yes. And I think of them. You said that she's worried about losing you and you this is putting a strain.

I'd say do not walk run get her to doctor and just get her checked out. She's not that into you. No, I don't think that hide only that'sling that's it, because she used to be. But I think we all go through phases where we're insects, or we're not insects, but they've been together only a year, they're young. I mean, they should still be ripping each other close off for a while.

Yeah. That's how I feel. The Kila always fixes the problem, too. My God. Do you want to hear something funny? My friend today was being asked a medical examination. They ask you all those things like you were allergic to, or you're allergic to.

And he said, yes, I'm allergic to Kila. It makes me fuck everything that I want. Yes. It makes me fuck everything that every person I run into or something. That rules. Isn't that funny? Yeah. Yeah, to Kila, biographer women.

For anybody. Yeah. Okay, dear Emily, I just found your show after reading an online listing of people who started their own businesses online. It's quite clever and informative and I'm already suggesting it to others all the time Emily and menace you guys make a great team and you probably find yourself another lawyer listener and Emily has maybe my greatest Weekness with women which is big brown eyes. Thanks for great show stand in loss and jealous Okay, yeah, that was nice. I like that. he liked it. Yes, I got that award for me

at home based business or whatever. Yeah, funny. Okay, you've time for what? Yeah, we got plenty of time. Yeah, we got a ton of time. Okay, Jack rabbit sex is the subject. Oh, the thing that you hate more than not getting oral sex, right? Do you know my offline we need to talk because seriously you think that somebody that I date would just have the the the Comments of the comments of the show Listen to the show. I am telling you everything that you need to do. Yeah, what you think I'm doing is to help people No, I'm doing it to help myself and no one's listening. None of the guys I they are listening. Dumb asses.

Oral sex. What's the problem? And don't jackrabbit me. Jackhammer. I know everything. Yeah. That's how I want it. I see I know everything and I listen to the show. You know, they could be armed with so much knowledge. I know. You just tell them. And then they can just play it off like they're held a dumb and they don't listen, you know They don't listen to the show, but then they are just like masters in bed, you know Yeah, when you over so easily. I'm so easy. I'm ready to scroll over Play dead. I want to take the little piece of audio. I'm so easy

Please don't I'm gonna put in the front of the show. I'm so easy. Okay Please don't. I'm going to put it in the front of the show. I'm so easy. Okay. Family, thank you for the new word which has quickly become a regular part of my vocabulary and paranoia. Jack rap, it sucks. Holy crap.

I suddenly wonder whether I'm occasionally guilty of this. Is cake can happen in any position really, right? Can you delve a little deeper into this? Does it involve any particular thrust like painfully deep or short stabbing like assaults. And if Jackrabby, Jackrabbiting effing is bad and I agree with you, it is bad. Then what is the opposite? And thus good.

Thanks so much, Jay. Well, do you say something, right? You're like, hey, slow down, buddy. Yeah, I'm just like, okay, because here's the thing, is that men typically orgasm through that really fast Jack rabbit trusting and that's there's nothing wrong with that that's fine sometimes at the end you need to go fast right. Mm-hmm. And but it's when it's the whole time like they're just like I'm on top of you and I'm just Jack like. Wait women don't like that. No women

so no I don't want to send the wrong message because some women really love like that a lot. And I think that it really does work for some people, but typically women orgasm through their clitoris. And it is not necessarily, or even if it's their G spot or however they orgasm, that position typically is not the best position for women to orgasm. It's for men. That's what feels good to them.

So while we're okay with that, there's also a certain, like, we just want you to be recognizing that we have other needs and that doesn't necessarily feel good. The hard, pant pounding, thrusting feels good for like a minute or two, but not the whole time. Yeah, but you're talking about, you're almost talking about making love and guys don't want to do that. Well, he says what's the alternative? And I think sometimes you gotta be slow

and make sweet love. Sweet, sweet love. And look into my eyes, menace, and tell me how beautiful I am. Oh, sounds like a nightmare. Can I just jackrab it? Get it done and then go to bed. What's wrong with that?

Everything is okay with you because I like you right that's not true If you did I did oh my god, okay, but yeah, we gotta do we have a guest on the next pod I know I'm very excited for next guest me too arrived. I see him behind you. Okay cool. So So should we wrap up here? Yeah, we should wrap up here. Okay, well, I just love you and everybody listening to the show. Thank you so much for listening to Sex with Emily. We've got a lot of, this is, okay, this is the year for Sex with Emily.

2011, very exciting. Lots of happening, lots of coming up. The show, more shows, more excitement. And I'm just checking out on everywhere. Sexthelmy.com. And thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.

So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of misogyny candles? Okay, so get this. I always like candles when I'm enjoying glass of wine with friends. And recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emelene Tony. My skin felt really dry so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave

myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See these candles are really eroamotherapy massage oils that when warm like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself. You can use during for-play and you know me, I'm a firm believer in for-play. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and pougère. Not just that, they look great in your home.

So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at Emilyntony.com. And you're welcome. They look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at Emily and Tony.com And you're welcome.