Sex With Emily - SWE: Sex Hacker

Episode Date: June 7, 2012

Stepping into the studio right off the set of a porn shoot, vixen Maggie Mayhem tells Emily how she went from accidentally having a mullet in high school, to running HIV clinics, to starring in hardcore porn. A self-described "Sex Hacker", she's constantly breaking down barriers and challenging herself and others. She got her fiance into porn, pegging, and polyamory, and teamed up with him to start the "PSIgasm Project", an open-source orgasm detector that detects and analyzes orgasms. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them a lie gone. Hey, Emily. You got a boy from because my man here He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common, though? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm feeling so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening, too. Sex with Emily, we're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. Thanks so much for listening to the show. Check everything out at sexwithemlee.com. I'm here with the white menace. Hello, how you doing today? How you doing, honey? I'm good.

We also have a special guest. We're going to get into her whole story in a minute. We've got Maggie Mayhem. She just came from an porn set. She was not directing or producing. You were in it, right? That's right. Today I was doing some star work. She was starring in a porn like five minutes ago. Really? So we're gonna get into her whole story and she is a BDSM model sex positive activists and she's on the cutting edge of kink

I'd like to say that you are that she's statement. I don't know if I'm in the cutting edge of queer. I feel like you are I'm cutting edge of queer. Okayting edge of queer. Okay. Perfect. We'll get into a minute. I have one question and it's one to ask a rye. Okay, go ahead. I don't know if I can handle it. What? Because before the show started, you said, you want to you, Santa Cruz?

I went to you. I was a student at UC Santa Cruz, yeah. Okay. Did you become a lesbian? Oh, God, no. I was so up in that way before I went to college. Because every girl that I know went there, like, oh, I'll say like 90% of them became lesbians after going.

Not nothing against Syracuse, and I support lesbians. I love them. They love what I love. I was part of the recruitment process, actually. Now, I was one of those people who was a seed planted inside, a sleeper cell, a lesbian sleeper cell, and I would wait for the freshman to come in. I made a change happen.

Okay, good. So you're the one that's put in the wall. That's just single handedly is responsible for all your friends' thung hasn't been. What year did you go because you probably made my friend lesbian? I was there from 2003 to 2007. Oh.

Do you know something named Wendy? Oh, stop. You're not out your friend. Oh my god, men is let's not play. She's starting to have an out of open. She's starting to have an out of open. Let's not play lesbian geography right now. I'll show you a professional tell me.

Okay. Anyways. So what the hell's been going on with you? Dude, what the hell? Things are crazy. It's hump day. I know. No one gets humped today.

And I'm trying to think what's going on. No, okay. I know. We got to talk about it. Okay. Bring it up. There is a commercial that just started running yesterday. And it's all over Bravo.

It's promoting the show that you're starring in misadvised and people have been tweeting me texting me, posing on my Facebook that you and I are making out in this promo commercial and it's embarrassing. It tell me about it not only is embarrassing what you don't see and we should probably wait for people to see it. I I'm not gonna give you the background. But let me tell you what you do see is that men is wipes his mouth and disgust and then tells me that I'm back at it.

You're laughing so hard about that too. You're like, that wasn't good. At you. I was like wiping my face like a little baby like, oh, that's not good. You're like, that was really bad. And then I'm like, but there's more to the story

so you must stay tuned on June 18th to see it all. Okay. 10 o'clock on Bravo. All right. Very exciting stuff for us. Yeah, that's what's going on. And today we have to give a big shout out to Good Vibrations.

They are a sponsor. Use Cubanco GVM-L15 for 15% off anything from Good Vibes. And let me just tell you, they've got everything that you need in one if you've never bought a sex toy before. What's your favorite sex toy, Maggie? I know it's probably hard to choose. It's the Hitachi Magic One. Right, the Hitachi Magic One.

We're all together on that. So go buy a Hitachi Magic One for you or your partner, or both of you use it together. It's awesome. And yeah, we can just start talking to Maggie. Is there anything else, Menace, that is going on in your world? Nothing. We mentioned the mentioned show just make sure

Set your DVR for Bravo June 18th 10 p.m 10 p.m. It's gonna be running for eight weeks miss advise and you can also go to Sex with Emily you can find me on Twitter Facebook Instagram sex with Emily Yeah, and if you're if you're gonna tweet and say you're excited for the show make sure you use has Hashtag misadvised? Yes. Ziva, we got it. Okay.

Maggie, tell me, tell me about yourself, Maggie. Okay, we already know. So how do you identify? Oh wow, I have so many different identities. Sex hacker is probably my first big identity. Sex hacker. Now I saw that on your Twitter. I'm like, what the hell is a sex hacker?

Well, I want you to imagine sexuality is being like a computer that you get from Best Buy. And right out the box, it's probably not going to meet all your needs. You're going to need to do a little bit of some custom work. Make sure those settings are working out for the kind of computer work that you want to do. Exactly. So you have to do that basic prelim setup, and I think that's sexuality. But I like to go a little bit deeper.

I like to get inside the computer chips. I like to get inside the computer chips, I want to get inside the coding, I love to program, I love to reprogram, I like to crack through barriers. I like to get into someone's security, I wanna get in their firewall. Oh my God. The whole nine yards, I'm a sex actor. Speaking of menaceous language here,

because he speaks computers. Do you understand how that relates to sex? So that makes sense to you? I love it, yes. So give me an example. So you're saying when you meet someone, your challenge, your challenge is to get into like, what makes them tick,? A little bit, yes. So give me an example. So you're saying when you meet someone, your challenge, your challenge is to get into like, what makes them tick, what turns them on,

what makes them hot, and like. What kind of hard drive they need? We're kind of hard drive they need. I had to hack myself. And hopefully it's hard. Yeah. Not a soft drive, right? Or a floppy disc.

I had to hack myself first. You know, I think everything that I needed was kept behind a secure barrier, a wall. All the information that I needed, everything that I wanted to, a wall, all the information that I needed, everything that I wanted to get a hold of. And so I think sex hacking started with myself. So how did you start with yourself? Oh my God, I started sticking my nose

where it didn't belong, probably, in terms of information and libraries and asking questions. That's really the first place. And when you're trying to get into something, you really do want to kind of find the right question and find the right way to start developing a plan or a path to get to the answers you're looking for. Right. So it starts there asking way too many questions, getting into some trouble, getting denied

access a lot, but eventually developing a routine so I could start getting information and I could start customizing basically like my sexual software. Okay. So how have you been customized wired sexually? Okay, well let's just say that we mentioned at the top of the hour, at the top of the show, that Maggie just came from a porn set. She says she probably smells like a porn set.

I even smell it and it's probably delightful. Well, it was a major squirting shoot. So not only did I get like squirt on me, I actually, I was laying down and it was like a bucket of water kind of just being dropped from a, perhaps a great height. Wow. So I didn't just get squirted on a little bit.

I actually, I got like a Fee Jack shower. Oh my God. And this was within you or with another woman who squirted. Yeah. Okay. That's, yeah, female ejaculation. We're female ejaculation. Do you believe that any woman can learn to ejaculate?

I can't. But I sometimes I feel like I'm getting closer. Oh, that's good. Because we've had people on the show where like every woman can ejaculate. And menace isn't believing it. He thinks it's key. No, I just give it a heart.

You think it's urine. I give you a hard time about it. That's all. Well, you've actually tasted it, you know, that it's not. Yeah, menace. You just need to taste a big, take a big swig of it. Take a big swig of it. Take a big swig of it.

Because it's actually. It's really sweet. You'd be surprised it's actually. So it's really sweet. You'd be surprised. It's really, really, really sweet. It's a far cry. But I wouldn't say that every woman could ejaculate. Because not every man can ejaculate. So I'm not going to hold one standard up to the other.

I got it. I got it. But the Hattachi Magic Wand, let me just say this, can be a nice tool to learn that. Oh, a great tool. A great tool. Which is our favorite thing. So, Tommy, you were to porn to you today and then what else happened to you?

You got squirted on. What, give me some other, can you break it down for me and the other details? Well, you know, it was really fantastic. I was with girlfriend's films and they are doing an educational film with Madison Young. So this was about G-Spot play and female ejaculation. What's the educational film? Awesome, okay.

And Edgy Pornow. And it was really... Love it. We had like a very 1950s setup. So it was a very San Francisco Dike kind of thing. Right. And sitting down on the couch watching some television, eating some popcorn. Right. You know, one thing. One thing in each other's buses. Right. Oh my god. That sounds so fun, Doesn't it, men?

It sounds insane. I was, I was, I was tweeting this morning. Not as interesting. What was I doing? I was writing blog posts. Yeah. I was, I was, I was trying to figure out how to copy DVD. That's all. Oh, but you did a good job. Thank you.

What was some of your first sexual experiences like when you were growing up? I was so nerdy. i was so geeky it's actually i i i i think everyone i went to school with this kind of shocked that i do porn because i was the biggest dark in the classroom oh oh oh yes where did you grow up i'm from east los and you know this okay And I was actually doing some tweeting and some tumbling of my high school pictures. I had an accidental mullet. I went through a year of high school.

Didn't know. Didn't know. No one told you. No. How would you know? Wow, that's great. It never occurred to me to get for go to a hair salon and get a haircut.

So it just kind of, I was trimming my bangs and the front of my hair and the back just kept going. And it happens. Now, your name is sounding so familiar to me and I work in alternative radio and I didn't look anything up about you. Are you the same person that was dating Dave Navarro? No. No. Okay. I'm totally wrong. There must be somebody that has a similar name. Maggie Mayhem is a name that's out there. There's definitely the film Whip It and that came out and there was a Maggie Mayhem character in there.

Okay, but I actually I have you dated since you you know you work in the industry you might be around and eat some famous people they like to hang out with people that work in porn. I'm too big of a dork. No, no, no, no, no, no, you guys come watch this show. Just look at the camera right now. You don't hang out with anybody. I people are really really shocked. I think I'm not doing anything. No, I'm doing nothing. You guys come watch the show. It's just a drama. Look at the camera right now. You're like, I just hang out with anybody. I, people are really, really shocked. I think I'm one of the biggest prudes in the industry. I, you know, went everywhere.

Oh, you're too good to hang out with people. No, I'm too, I'm too darky. I just, I really want to read Wikipedia entries on right now. So you get off by going to maybe Comic Con or something like that. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. We are the people that you want to bone at Comic Con.

That's what I want to know. Yeah, actually, I think the people I would want to boon a Comic Con? That's what I want to know. Yeah, actually, I think the people I would want to boon the most don't make it out because I still have a thing for Warren Ellis. Okay. Just, I mean, but Warren Ellis isn't going anywhere. Warren Ellis has a cane. He's drinking. He's back across the pond where it's rainy.

Yeah, yeah. But I absolutely think he is so brilliant. And especially being a very big fan of Hunterist Thompson, I love what he did with Transmeter Pollatin. Transmeter is my favorite comic. I can't get enough of it. See now we know where she hangs out. Right, exactly.

All right, fellas, there is a chance if you see her. But how did you get involved? No, the suits that since you were young age, you were like a sex hacker. You were always interested in learning about it. But how did you get involved in doing porn and working, you work at kink.com too, right? I have done some shoots at King.com.

Okay. Like when I say sex hacking, sex hacking started with identity. So it started to realize like, wait a minute, I'm not heterosexual, this isn't working. Oh, wait a minute, I'm queer. Oh, wait a minute. The way we talk about sexuality has been done completely wrong. I need to disable that entire system and implement something new. And in my big process of acquiring information,

I started doing HIV testing in 2003. So I was doing HIV testing, counseling. That means administering the test, doing a counseling session, and disclosing the results. Wow. That's intense. So I started from there, and it was just going to be a volunteer job.

A couple of years down the road, I was coordinating the entire clinic. Oh my God. I ran the entire testing program. I was doing the training. I was doing the back end work. Just making HIV testing happening. When I finished up college, I left Santa Cruz. I came to San Francisco and I served as the HIV senior specialist at Larcan Street Youth

Services. They're a very big agency here in Clampburn. Oh, yeah, they have. Yeah. Probably more than a dozen youth shelters. And I had my office at the facility for HIV positive homeless youth. That's where I worked. That's where I was like my home for years.

And one day I got a call from LowKai, who is a bondage rigor. And he'd seen me out in San Francisco and the clubs, because I'm, you know, I'm kinky, I'm a sex hacker, you know, my personal life, and he saw me hanging around in some robes and said, hey, have you ever considered doing porn? Wow. Just like that. Like that. And no one ever asked me that kind of question.

And I thought about it, and when I came down to my decision making process, the only thing that was in the con list, the no list was how much of a jerk other people can be to porn stars. And everything in the yes was about my own desire to immortalize my youth and to document something that we don't even talk about, let alone, really sit down and analyze. So I said, I'm not not gonna let other people's ideas color my own adventures.

Exactly. You know, they're just beginning and this is an opportunity. So I did my first porn shoot in about three years ago. Okay, so you're still in what was the first porn shoot like? Was it all bonded stuff? Cause I wanted to talk to you a little about bonded. It was a bonded shoot.

It was actually so non-traditional. I showed up and one of the first things they said is we have this author guy who wants to interview you because it's your first time doing porn And I walk into the room and this author guy was Stephen Elliot. Oh, yeah, I know Stephen He's been on the show before. Yeah, Stephen is a local author here in San Francisco And I'd had his books on my shelf So I'm completely right out the bat. I am surprised by the fact that I'm sitting down with an author I've read that I enjoy. My girlfriend comes to the city and beats me up. I grew up in the city. Yeah. The Adderall Diaries most recently. Yeah, I want to. Yeah. And he just released Cherry, which is filmed

at the armory and he co-wrote that with Laurel Lee. Oh, okay. Sorry. I haven't talked to him in a few years, but anyway, that's cool. You got an interview and you got tied up. Yeah. Well, and then that, that wasn't enough. It was a devastating Elliot. And they're like, oh, we want to do another interview with you about being an HIV test counselor. So then I spent another pre-porn period of time explaining how to disclose a positive test

result to somebody. God, honey, that's hard stuff. You know? They did. But that's what was your work. That's my work. It was kind of maybe not the best timing right before porn shoot. Right. You're like, really?

So there needs to talk work when I'm here doing this. And then I finally got into the porn. And it was the, uh, low-key was doing the casting couch. And the theme of that porn was to be like a really sleazy 1970s producer's office. Just the bad lamp and the horrible brown leather couch that would crinkle and you'd sit in it. And I've been there. Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah. It's all been there. Right, exactly. So off came the clothes, I went the rope, and the star was born. Oh my God, that's how many points have you done so far? Thus far. I've been in so few films, but I've done a lot of different shoots

I actually have kind of moved away from a lot of BDSM porn and I do predominantly queer work I run a website with my partner now. Okay. What's your website? Let's give a shout out to your website meet the mayhemz.com Okay, you spell that M-A-Y-H-E-M Yeah, M-A-Y-H-E-M. M-A-Y-H-E-M. Okay. And if you see me on Twitter, I'm on Twitter too. Ms. Maggie Mayhem. You'll find a link to that, and you'll even find a link to my partner.

Okay. And your partner is your partner that you're your business partner or your partner in life? My partner partner partner in life, you know, just every which way living together. Okay. Man or woman. He is a cis male. Okay. And right now, he is off working in his underground lab.

He is, he does quantum nano electronics. Okay. And he is, he did his undergrad in Harvard at Harvard in physics and now he's working on his PhD. Wow, so he's smart. Yeah, he's designing the same stuff you are, actually. I dragged him into it. You did oh my god

You get him involved because so many I think women probably want Would like to make that change in the relationship No, we just started talking. Well, he knew I'm sure he knows you and you fell in love with you He knew that what he was getting we had a brief meeting You know and and then it was getting to be Christmas time and I had to sit down with him and say you know and that it was getting to be Christmas time and I had to sit down with him and say, you know, sweetie, I know that, you know, it's such a pain to go with your partner

to a holiday company Christmas party and I would really like you to be there at mine and, you know, I mean, it's totally open bar, totally open bar. Yeah, totally open bar. And it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a live filmed orgy and totally open bar, totally open bar. And you know, like hang out, no pressure,

but you know, if you're dating someone in porn, you should see what a set is like. Absolutely. And this was an opportunity. And so he's like this geek in a corner. He ties his own bow ties. Oh. He doesn't use a clip on.

That's just not the Harvard way. Right. You know, being really geeky in the corner and kind of like Superman, the Clark Kent of Facts. I love it. Took off his suit and, you know, no one expected him to have muscles. He works out a lot. Right.

No one expected him to be in trouble. Hottie. Speed demon. And he realized he loved making porn. And he is queer as well. So he shakes with men. He shoots with women. He shoots with people.

Oh my god. No one did you get him into your sex world but you got him into the porn business as well. so he shoots with men. He shoots with women. He shoots with people. Oh my god, really? Did you get him into your sex world but you got him into the porn business as well? Oh yeah. That's amazing. Okay, do I view guys done and he's deans together? Quite a few.

Fun. Quite a few, and now. What kind of stuff? What's your favorite scene that you've done together? Oh my god. I think actually there was a scene we did for queer porn TV. And that was with Courtney Trouble

and Tina Horn were directing. And that was a Courtney Trouble and Tina Horn we're directing. And that was a really fantastic, fantastic shoot. It was about rough sex and couples and how to do it in a really passionate, loving way. And so we had a fun. We like, womped around in this great hotel room. And at the end, we realized that we needed to start being in charge of our own porn.

So it's my favorite shoot, because that's the day that we decided to become producers. And so you're doing it all. You're in charge of our own porn. So it's my favorite shoot because that's the day that we decided to become producers. Great. You're doing it all, you're in charge of it all. But you're doing, and you're still doing porn, but it's a different kind right now or you're... You know, I mean, it's, if I get good opportunities, I tend to be really picky, choosy with who I shoot with. And I love working with Madison Young. Uh-huh. I love G-Spot Play. I love female ejaculations. So this is a project I had to say yes to. Of course you did. Of course you had to say yes to it. I can't

it can't imagine. That sounds really fun. Now what do you think about the whole world now being into this like 50 Shades of Grey and BDSM? Like do you feel like you're like I've been there but it seems like the Mommy Porn book 50 Shades of Grey that everyone in the world is talking about. Have you read it at all? You know I haven't read it but there's always there's always a mommy point book. I think I remember 100 strokes of the brush before midnight. Yes, I have that one too, right? And that was a few years ago, and everyone was like,

ah, the 100 strokes. So we went from 100 strokes to 50 shades, and it just makes me realize that I need to release, like, 25 flavors of perversion before noon. Yeah, exactly, right. And I should be set on in terms of the book. Yeah, you should. I'm just blown away by the fact that I was in the airport.

I was in the Denver airport. And there was an airport book seller that had 50 shades of gray, not just in the front window, but in the display, spilling out into the pedestrian traffic area and Brooks done with selling Lilo's, which just know. Oh my god, you serious? Not gratitude to the display. Lilo, amazing,, with just no- Oh my god, you serious? Not gratitude, but-

Lilo, amazing, amazing sex toys, Lilo. Yeah, major. And so I was like, wow, I'm so used to airports, kind of the sexuality of an airport. I always think of graying politicians. Right. And now I'm thinking about middle-aged women getting 50 shades of gray and Lilo.

I know Lilo. I've heard of it. I'm going to the airport next week, but I haven't been in a while since, but everyone's talking about how the airport, yeah, how it's just everywhere. It's everywhere. So what do you think it is that about the BDSM world bondage discipline, say, don't ask them, ask them if people don't know what that is exactly, but a lot of people listening to our show do. What do you think it is about that appeal? I know

you remember the book, and I've actually like just halfway through, but what do you think it is that like women, mommy, poor women in the Midwest, my mother's right at three times, or she's right all three of novels? What do you think it is about it that is so appealing on this primal level to women? Everything in the world is about sex, except for sex, which is about everything else. And when something like BDSM pops into the erotic consciousness

of people in the country, I tend to think it's reflective of something that we need to know and understand. And in other words, it means it might be about something else. And I think we're all rushing around and we don't have a lot of autonomy and we don't necessarily get some of the same focus from partners.

And one thing that BDSM is going to get is the full attention of your partner, ideally, because you're working with something a little bit more complex. So at the very least, they have to pay attention to the knots or the thing they're hitting you with. And you're pretty advanced, right? You need to do all the knots and do everything. I'm very basic. I like Bondage tape. Bondage tape is great.

I love Bondage tape. I'm obsessed with Bondage tape. You should could buy it a good vibe. You actually could buy it a good vibe. Buy a Bondage tape. It's like, how do you explain it? It looks like electrical tape, but it's tape that sticks to itself and you can put it over your eyes and warm it, eyelashes and rub anything. Or your hair. No, that's why I love it.

Your hair. Your hair. Because there's a lot of it. I love it. It's really sexy about the spontaneity of a moment. If you want to do bondage, sometimes it's hard to remember all the technique and things like that, but bondage tape, you can just go ahead and do whatever. You can be like a glur. You can be like a glur. You can be like a glur. You can be like a glur. ahead. You want to have a, you can be like a glur, and just wrap it around someone's head.

Don't worry about their hair. It's going to be fine. I'm trying to get menestesia for years, but secure. No, good. He won't do it. He's good with that. So I was going to ask you, where would I do website? What is it all about?

Meet the maims. Meet the maims is. Maims. I think it's a pretty core website. And I wanted to play with the idea that most people see a couple Especially a couple named Maggie and Ned. I mean we really we sound like we're 90 and we live in a Florida retirement community but we don't have like sexy names or Maggie and Ned

and we're both cisgender We are in a heterosexual pairing But when you peel that back when you get to know us You'll actually start to realize that our sexuality is much more complex. It's not heterosexist. We really want to challenge those tropes and those norms and show things like the fact that we're very into pegging, but not necessarily in the angry, dominatrix.

This is because we've been a bad boy, but this is because it feels good. Because it feels good. Especially when I can lay back and he'll jump up on top of me and be like boy on top Wow, the strap on and that is always so sexy so sexy. I know we talk about pegging a lot on the show. I think it's just really been taking off lately. I feel like it's so in the mainstream right now, right? Paging mount, men being evenly penetrated by a dildo or whatever. But I feel like I'm medicine some obsessed with it. You are. You bring it up all the time.

You want to peg somebody. I never peg anybody. Really? I know, such the only is never peg anybody. You want to peg somebody so bad. Right now, turn around. Yeah, I'm good.

No, that just so makes me want to bring someone a good experience. I know right do you have anyone like a borrow from my my trial pegging? Ned. Your boyfriend. Perfect. I love it. Um, I yeah, what do you think? Just try it out with Ned. If you want to you bring it up Enough, it seems like you want to do it. I just think that every guy should what if what if because my whole thing is that like What if it's this amazing thing that every man in the world could be feeling right now, and it's a sensation that they've never had,

and they could, and they could be amazing, and you die, and you never felt it. Is there anything on the other side of it that you're receiving? I mean, I know you get a feeling of joy doing this for your partner, but is there, is the device rigged where you're receiving, like a double-sided dildo-type thing? Sometimes we've done that.

I think what I find really enjoyable is the fact that if you have a broad base on the dildo, something that's, I like a big circular shape, that sits over my entire kind of pelvis, and when I get that pressure from the thrusting, it's getting into the top leg of my clitoris, since we know that the clitoris isn't just that little tiny pea shape that you see,

it's actually like this Mercedes-Benz symbol, you know, because it is. Like your pelvis, right? You put your benzy down there. Exactly. And so when I get the external stimulation from the thrusting, I have a great time. I can absolutely get off from that. Oh, that's amazing.

See, Manis, she's getting off. He's getting off to win-win. Yeah. I learned something today. You can learn something today. He doesn't get it when I want to get into it. So what would you say is like the craziest thing that you've experienced lately about the, how have you pushed yourself lately?

Anything sexually you've done that you hadn't done? Because I feel like you've done a lot. You know, I've done a lot, but it's really, it's never about the big complexity of the act. Because I can sit there and say, yeah, I've been strung up by my ankles and cattle prodded. Been there, done that, yeah, seen that, you know. Who hasn't?

Who hasn't done that yet? You know, done, I haven't been anally fisted, but I've done scenes where I've gotten my entire fist inside somebody Into the ass and that's if you find anything in there like a watch. No, thank God I'm not ready to find anything there yet actually my big goal is everyone has a good time and I leave empty-handed Yeah, but There could be something there. You never know what someone loses, you know, some jelly beans or something. Yeah.

I don't know why that was. There was a scene in the new dictator where he loses a cell phone in there. It's pretty cool. Oh, that was actually like a story. Someone had to go to a hospital to get a phone removed. Are you serious? Someone was using it for the vibrate function.

Oh my god, just buy a vibrator. Just people. Buy a remote vibrator. But the most interesting sexual thing lately, getting engaged. Oh, congratulations. Oh my God, that is really interesting. Do you have a ring in everything?

You know, actually, I need to get it resized, but the ring that I'm wearing is, it's missing a couple of diamonds. It is the ring that my grandfather designed for my grandmother. Oh, nice. And in 1820 is, I love that.

And I didn't need to bring any more gold and especially diamonds into the world. The head. So right now, it's sitting on my index finger. I love that it's like from family and. Yeah. That's really cool. It doesn't need, it doesn't really,

you know, I'm not necessarily as big on the symbols. A lot of people are really into symbols. And especially when I come from a community where a collar is a very big sign of commitment. And I'm just so bad at keeping jewelry on myself. You know, I lose it and I lose all my jewelry. I lose jewelry all the time. I don't want to lose this one though, but you know.

I know you can. So I feel kind of... Congratulations, that's so exciting. So I have a question for you. So you guys are polyamorous, that. However, I know you don't probably don't even like that. Yeah, we're actually speaking. Oh my God, this like, talk about being crazy.

You know, I did porn this morning, radio today. I'm doing more porn tomorrow than I'm doing, a live performance. I'm going to be sludging concrete, nearly nude, if not completely nude. And then I'm going to be speaking at the OpenSF conference on Polyamory. Okay.

With my partner's family. Oh my God, his family like mom, dad? Yeah. Well, his dad and his dad's secondary partner. Oh my God. Oh, his dad's polyamorous as well. My partner is second generation, secondary partner. Oh my God. Oh, because his dad's Polly Amherst as well. My partner is second generation, Polly. Oh my God.

Yeah. You guys need your own reality show. Exactly. Oh my God. It was so much. What kind of things do you think you'll be talking about? Because Polly Amherst is something that I think I definitely also is coming more known mainstream, not mainstream, but people are just, what kind of things are you going to

share? You think what's the most important things people have to understand about polyamory? And I think the messaging that you're going to think that you're going to deliver. How to talk about it cross generationally is one thing. I think we're going to be talking about and the fact that it doesn't mean family ends. I think we think of it as something that the grown-ups do

and is so far removed from family life. And I also kind of want to show that it's another form of a family and that there is the, you know, what happens in behind closed doors in the bedroom between consenting adults. And then there's also a family structure that polyamory involves. And those are people who are included

and they do have a narrative, you know, and that's something else that's growing. In the Northwest, there's actually a kind of a summer camp for poly families and they have specific activities for the kids to go that are totally age appropriate. There's no like kinky sex happening. Yeah, not at summer camp, not at summer camp, but no pegging at summer camp.

So give kids a chance to meet other kids because my partner grew up and he was always kind of embarrassed to bring people home to his crazy poly family. I'm sure, where did he grew up? He grew up and, you know, he was always kind of embarrassed to bring people home to his crazy, poly family. I'm sure. Where did he grew up? He grew up outside of Seattle. Okay. Yeah, that would be tough.

That would be tough to explain. So she's a kid. So what kind of issues do you as, I would think like, of course, it's not always smooth sailing just because you decide that you're going to be polyamorous. How about jealousy? That's like the biggest issue that comes up for a lot of couples. I, you know, that didn't come in my factory default model. No.

I just don't get jealous. For me, I would consider him having sex with somebody else, like him going out to the bar and having a drink with somebody else, as long as it's not interrupting the work that we need to get done as a couple. Right. You know, but that's actually just being just respectful, I think, with your partner's time. But aside from the sex and the romance,

I've always been just kind of that geeky. I think it's just, it your partner's time. But aside from the sex and the romance, I've always been just kind of that geeky. I think it flies over my head. And I get really fixated on things that I build and do. I mean, one of my big goals, I've been a big fan of Masters in Johnson, and they did the orgasm chart. And I sat down and bought, hey, technology is so much better.

Why haven't we made another orgasm detector? So Net and I built the PSI gasm and that stands for pounds per square inch and it is wireless. It is real time and it has 12 sensors that detect the quantitative signs of sexual arousal and orgasm. Oh my god, you mentored it. Yeah, we built it. That's amazing. We made it as open source as possible. It's programmed on Arduino and we just actually want to show people how to do circuit board type of work.

So you think tell if someone's having an orgasm. That's like a sexual lie detector test. It's got everything a lie detector test has. What? You tell the woman's faking. Yeah, and I've taken a picture of my orgasm. We have footage of it up on. Oh my god, we have to check that out.

Do we get into Lorian and go into the future of the surgery? I know, I love it. I was going to ask you about science and sex and how you think. I told you I was a sex hacker. Yeah, you really are. I mean, that's amazing. That's crazy. I'm afraid what happens when that gets out, because seriously, all of these men are going

to be shocked that she's never had an orgasm. Well, and it's great to actually use it on a man because when you're looking at the pelvic floor, we get to look at muscles inside a guy. And so what we get to look at muscles inside a guy. And so what we get to see is that the male and the female orgasm aren't from two different worlds as much as we thought. They look very similar.

They do very similar things. And especially when you're looking at the pounds per square inch, you're also, we put in, I'm trying to remember if we put in two or three photo-placismographs, but a photo-placismography is going to be looking at the way the blood is flowing into the general region. And so if we put a photo-placismograph up towards the back, the middle and the front, we can actually see where the blood is congesting. So that would be like a hard-on.

That would be like a clitoris starting to be vulnerable. That's all that kind of tissue. And that is so cool. And you can do that. Oh, that's built it. We built it. In between having you can do that. You can do that. We build it. In between having sex and whatever, we do not get stuff. We're just going to get you into it.

That is so key. Just when I'm not going out to the bars. And this is building things too. He's building it a sex toy called the dump truck. The dump truck. He's not really, but I used to sit joke. Just one of his jokes. In Japan, the scientists are working on it.

Or having fire issues, catching on fire and stuff. That's what Hitachi's do too. They catch a fire. Wait, don't they plug in the wall, right? Yeah. They plug in the wall. No, that's a little down trick. Yeah. Hitachi does, they overheat so badly sometimes.

And so they have been known to spontaneously come back. I don't want to burn off my clitoris. I better be careful. Well, you have the rock box now. Oh my God. Do you know about the rock box? No. It's the strongest vibrator. The most God, do you know about the rock box? No. It's the strongest vibrator, the most powerful vibrator, I should give it to you because I'm afraid of it.

It is a, it looks like a power tool. Literally, literally looks like that. I should bring it in and just show it. You talk about it all the time, so I'm gonna- I thought I went to the sex toy show and they showed it there and it's got this, it looks, it plugs into the wall with like one of those thick, thick cords. And it has like, you can put different inserts in,

but one of them's like a tongue that goes around. And it's like, ah, more powerful than a touch, you say. Wow. Yeah, rock box, you gotta check. It just came out, like I think it's just in stores right now. That's really cool. And it's on my top shelf in my house, and I haven't tried it yet.

I'm afraid my vagina's gonna go flying across the round. Yeah, you could blow out your vagina. I could blow out your vagina. Okay, afraid my vagina is going to go flying across the realm. Yeah. You can blow out your vagina. I can blow out your vagina. Okay, well thank you so much Maggie. Thank you. You can blow out your vagina. So your website again, let's tell people if they want to check out all your amazing stuff

you're doing. You know, I'm all over the web. So you can find my blog at missmaggymayhem.com, M-I-S-S-S-M-A-G-G-I-E-M-A-Y-H-E-M-D-M.com. You can find my partner at Meetthemayhemms.com, and from there you're going to find links to our Twitter accounts, to our Tumblr, to our YouTube, where up to all kinds of weird geeky stuff. Awesome, I can't wait to keep checking you out.

It's so nice to meet you, and we're going to have all that info on our website, 2Sex with Emily, and there's no final words from you from the big gallery. Yes, we are here at the Stitcher Studios in San Francisco, California. Stitcher is an app that you can download for your smartphone. It's totally free. STITCHER, all you do after you download it,

you just search Sex with Emily and you can take the show on the go. Awesome. OK, everyone. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemely.com.

Okay, everyone, thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.