Sex With Emily - SWE: Sex & Instagram

Episode Date: April 9, 2012

Emily attended the Hunky Jesus Festival and teaches her dog to fetch. Menace is on a champagne kick and is in love with Hunger Games actress Jennifer Lawrence. Circumcised vs. uncircumcised penises, nice guys trying to find love, and writer Oscar Raymundo talks about gay dating and Instagram on the show. How many self-portraits are too many self-portraits and how do you actually date someone by following them on Instagram. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them a lie Hey, Emily you got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken He thinks you're kind of cute the girls got every stand. It's a lie. The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common moment?

What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information go to sexfamily.com where you will improve your sex life. And all these amazing things will happen to you when you go to sexfamily.com and check out the site and listen to all of our shows. We've got a lot of podcasts. You can also watch and listen to them, which is amazing.

And we're here at Tap Monday. Happy Monday, menace. And your penis will grow. And your penis will grow. Oh, it's weird. It's just a weird side effect. I mean, I don't know. I just, I don't want to say it because I just kind of hear say,

but men's penis is new grow in the website. Gigantic. Not that there's anything wrong through penis the way it is now. It's totally fine. But if you want it to grow. What up men? Hi.

How you doing? It's going on with your, how is the weekend? We were supposed to hang out, but we were. Yeah. We serious we talked about for an hour on Friday. You forget it. Or are we going to do? Uh-huh. You forget. Oh, we gonna do. I'll get Jesus.

We were gonna meet up at the big wheel race. Right. Yeah. I went for like half hour because- Is it the Laura's park? Yeah. I was there too. Everyone, no, not the Laura's park.

It was on Vermont Street. Right. Which is actually- Oh, the curvy is straight in the city. Yeah, it's actually curvy than Lombard Street in San Francisco. But it was so crazy. It was such a bro fest.

I like, I wanted to, I wanted to be a part of it. Right. And I'm gonna definitely do it next year where I actually go down in the big wheel. But when you're not a part of it and you're out there, like bros, bros, we'll find anything to celebrate. To go drink. Right.

Like they will take over. Tell me what the big wheel, because I was gonna go to to that after and then we never made it because we get all fucked up in the park. So every year on Easter thousands of people will get big wheels and then they'll go down for a long. Yeah, yeah. Like the big well that we have. Just super windy street. Right. We drunk and smoke weed and all the stuff. It's right. I can't miss it. It's such a way to celebrate. I can only do one event.

Yeah, that's what I love about San Francisco. So yesterday, I went to the Hunky Jesus Easter festival contest in Dolores Park. And it was insane. Apparently, it's the busiest day of the year at Dolores Park, which is always a bunch of people hanging out. Yeah. And there was all these men dressed as Hunky Jesus'. How many bros were there?

Not many bros. You tell me the Hunky Jesus was like all br is. How many bros were there? Not many bros. You tell me the Hunky Jesus were like all bros. Yeah, that bros, but gay, straight, everything. When you say this, we say, well, let's introduce our guest. Our guest is Oscar Remundo. All right. Hi, Oscar. Hi, how's it going guys? Oh, hi.

Good to see you. So you were in the practice, so Oscar is a writer and he's gonna talk about his article that it's a fascinating article that's on Huffington Post today and his blog and we're gonna get more into article that it's a fascinating article that's on Huffington Post today and his blog. And we're gonna get more into you, Oscar, in a moment. However, Oscar was also at the funky Jesus, what are the funky Jesus?

I kept calling you the funky all day. So see, like, mostly gay though, right? Mostly gay, I see. But there had to be like a lot of bros there, right? I, you know, we're talking about bros. We're talking about like the frat guy. Frat guys from the marine are something. Yeah, like that. I'm trying to do a geographically

stereotype because they'd love to celebrate any any type of. But Dolores Park was more families and gay. Yeah, it was more of like a queer sort of thing. Yeah. I think that the bros. I went with all my gay friends. Like I didn't I didn't go with any of my straight friends, but I'm not saying they weren't there. All right. The point is, I don't think they were there actually. I don't think they were there. They were not there. It was fun though, but it was very San Francisco because everyone was out dressed up crazy in the park. And I'm like, I love that this is how we celebrate Easter by seeing honky jazzy. It's really cool. Anything else going on? Yeah, so many things. So anyway, I had a crazy weekend.

I went to the dog park and I taught my dog how to fetch. And she now fetches. And it was very easy. So she's a fetcher. And I went to the doggy day park taught my dog how to fetch and she now fetches and it was very easy so she's a fetcher and I went to the doggy day park doggy park happy hour and Friday night. Sounds amazing. Yeah, it's so fun it's everyone with their dogs and we get drunk and watch our dog. She hits and pisses everywhere. Wow, my dog fetched and she's very cute. That's cool. I know it was really fun and then I went to a garden party where we were doing my friends garden on Saturday, but I actually missed the part when everyone was working. I just

came up. Oh, that's surprising. It's weird. I had to get my hair done. I missed it, but it was fun. It was like fixing out my friends garden. And then I um, I had the most amazing night last night. I had a really full weekend. For me, usually I'm like, yeah, it was okay. It's fun. What do you do? But I went to Japan town. Yes. You've got to go to Japan town? Go there all the time. I got a massage. Oh yeah, you love Japanese, everything. Got a massage at Kabuki.

All right. Have you been there? Kabuki hat springs, it was a gift. No, I go to the theater though. Okay, yeah, I've been to the theater. Got a massage and then have you been to Ichi Bunkan, that store, that sells all the lazy stuff in it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like crazy little tiny things for your like cell phones and little bags and little Hello Kitty things. It's crazy. So I borrowed stuff. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I almost went there but it was it was that was So that's what I did it was a really fun weekend and hung out drank work on the new website really fun stuff. That's cool. Yeah, I Watched hunger games again. Okay. Why because I was over at pixel I can't even get one movie What I just can't even see a movie and you see it twice I saw it twice because the first time I actually saw it at Kabuki Theater and I was drunk So I had to keep on walking out to go to the bathroom But this time this time I was with a bunch of friends and you know, it was free So we went and watch it and now I'm obsessed with Jennifer Lawrence the oh you love her the character

I love her check her out. Okay. She's from Kentucky. Okay. I've seen the pictures She's from Kentucky. Yeah, which I which I love already why I thought you love Midwest. I like, I like anybody outside the coat, you know? And then, uh, she's into firearms shooting. Right? She plays a guitar and her favorite cocktail is a long Island iced tea. How can you not love a one like that? You love this woman. You're in love. Oh my god. She's obsessed. She could be half Japanese. Yeah. It sounds like the perfect one for you. She's single. I don't know be half Japanese. Yeah, it sounds like the perfect going free Was she single? I don't know probably not yeah, like I have a chance you might Being on television soon. No, no, no, we talk about television show again. Yeah, just talk about it real quick

I was I shared some info about it how Ashley Tisdale's a second producer. Yes, I just had a I had to keep on talking about it Just recently because there's there was another show shot at the same time here in the Bay Area and people have comments about it and I just wanted to say, hey, this is the show that Emily's doing is misadvised. Right. Disappointed. We just announced that on Wednesday, it's gonna be on Bravo

probably in the summer. Uh huh. And it's called misadvised and it's about three single dating experts to we practice what we preach and our menace and I shot this reality show but we couldn't tell anyone about it because we weren't allowed to announce it until it's called misadvised and it's about three single dating experts to be practiced what we preach and our Menace and I shout this reality show, but we couldn't tell anyone about it because we weren't allowed to announce until Like a year for a year we couldn't tell you there were cameras in here shooting what we were doing shows and we couldn't Tie up people. Yeah, but now we're telling you everything And it's gonna be funny. So menace and I were in the trailer. Yeah, so I kept on talking about it

And the feedback is Overwhelming positive Would it really? Because they're your friends but behind your back they're going what the fuck? No way I'm okay good what they said what they said tell me what tell me that they're they're really happy because they know like How long the show has been going on and just doing doing podcasts and stuff like that and they know you and they know You've been working really hard at it and they're really happy for you. That's so sweet. They're not talking smack.

I'm sure your friends are. They're not asking, does Emily like it in the butt? Oh no. But they do want to. That's a menace friend, whenever menace, they're like, really, you work at Emily, that's cool. Does she like it in the ass?

That's when his friends usually ask about me. So I'm glad to hear that they're actually are feeling some. Yeah, they're very excited. Some thrill, some joy. I think the kids are also excited for your show. I think there's gonna be some screenings of it really Some time. Yeah, come on seriously. Yeah. Oh my god I mean me come out. I'm there. I am the party. I would love to do for screens in the cast We should probably do it at the cast or theater. That'd be great. I know I don't know when it's gonna

Did you hear about the show that we're doing? I heard about this. That's how you have. Oh, you have. Okay, good. Because we couldn't really talk about it. I think I told you about it. That dinner where we met. Oscar, we met at a little, it's dinner. A little gathering. A little gathering in the city where we were talking about

vibrators. I mean, that was a vibrator. We were there to celebrate a new vibrator. Right. And then we went to that party with Andy Cohen. Exactly. That's right. That same night, Andy Cohen from Bravo was there.

She doesn't remember anything. You can not have a good memory. Sorry, I have a bad memory. That was the same night. I don't know. I don't think so. Okay, good. I saw you again. Thank you. Thank you. I do have a very bad memory. However, that was not the same night. That's the same night. You remember meeting Andy Cohen? Of course. Yeah. I do remember you were standing there when I was like, Hi, oh my god. I'm Emily and I said, I know who you are. I've been watching you on,

because he's executive producer. I didn't know that. I thought he was a talk show host because I had never seen television before. Yeah, she never even watched a show. I never watched a show. The whole time we were shooting, I had never seen a Bravo television show in my life, not one.

And so I didn't know that he was like, the also having to be the one in the season. So that was embarrassing. But it's funny. And he's like, I was gonna invite you. And there it was. That was a fun night. It was a fun night. Super fun night. Okay. So that was my weekend. Super fun. What else with you?

Nothing much. Just, I drank a lot of champagne. I'm really, I'm going to share. You're mixing up your drinks. I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share.

I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share.

I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share. I'm going to share, I had sex. You have got to give me some information. I was trying to remember, like, you wanted me to write a new one. Give me one thing that was interesting about it. That was interesting about it. I got a blow job. Oh nice. Nice. Where did you ejaculate?

In the woman's mouth. In the woman's mouth. And I'm not awesome. Okay, good. And because you used protection. I would say yes. So you took the condom off and then you jacked it in a mask. Yes.

Good. Awesome. Good for you. Well, no, I'm just glad. I just never get enough details from you. What about you? What happened with you? I am glad you asked about my sex life

because I had amazing sex. And I have a new favorite sex toy. So, okay, I get all these sex toys. I'm afraid. Go ahead. It's amazing. I was telling Cal State on the way over. I'm having a hard time about it. Is it the rock box where it's the rock box? No, I haven't tried it yet. Oh my god. I just got it in the mail. I got the strongest vibrator on the planet was sent to me as a gift which was so nice. It's called the rock box. It's sitting on my desk in my office and I'm afraid of it. But this is

different. This is from Good Vibrations, actually. You can get it at goodvibes.com. And it's by a brand called Jiju, J-E-J-O-U-E. And it's called the Mimi. And it is kind of like an egg-shaped vibrator. And you charge it in the wall. And then you have it. And it's super powerful.

It has five speeds. and it's super powerful. It has five speeds and it's powerful enough and you can use it during intercourse over your clit, your whole pubic mound, if you will, where there's a lot of vibrations that can hit like your G-spot and whatever, whatever, going, in or in or going, whatever you're going on inside. It affects all those areas and you're clitoris which is very important because people women and men can use vibratory sex and it feels freaking amazing and the man that I happen to be with his penis enjoyed it as well because the vibration was really strong and he really

liked it. But it didn't make him rise to the occasion quicker did it. No he was already there baby. No no I, let his fireworks go off beforehand. No, not at all. Quicker. He controlled it. Okay. So anyway, if you're interested in this new thing, because I, okay, so we get ton of sex choice.

We have a new video on our website. We all went to good vibrations, except for menace. And we got a ton of sex choice. Like it was crazy, crazy, crazy, because we're trying out new toys because we want to tell you about them. And there's a jazou mini. You go to good vibes.com and you put in coupon code gvmly15 for 15% off all your purchases.

I am obsessed with this new vibrator and I haven't had a vibrator rock my world in the world. So that was my sexual experience. Sounds good. I enjoyed it because it's a great couples vibrator. It's a great to use during intercourse. Do you use sex toys Oscar? And if you do, what have you used?

What's your favorite? It's this is gonna be really surprising, but I'm kind of a prudent bed. And I don't know how I feel about sex toys. I feel like, I like missionary style. I'm right there with you brother. He hates sex toys. No, I don't hate them, but I just hate them.

He's never used them. I feel that. How can you hate what you have not tried? I feel it's with you brother. He hates extras. No, I don't hate them, but I just here. He's never used them. I feel that. How can you hate would you have not tried? I feel it's a slippery slope. It's like a drug, you know, it's a gateway. So like once you, you know, you start off with a bullet, right? Right.

Next thing you know, you have the donkey sized, you know, terminator, bike rider, that's all the way up in your innards. Like seriously, that's... A lot of women are doing it a certain way, a thousand years. I'm going to try that way until I get to a point maybe where I feel like I need to bring in toys, but that's my plan. Let me just say why toys are great and why I'm bringing this up, because a lot of women, only 30% of women can have orgasms during intercourse.

Did you know that, only 30% during penetration? So orgasms during intercourse. Did you know that only 30% during penetration? So that's not very many women. That's three to 10 women are like, and nothing happened to me, but because they need more clitoral stimulation than a man's penis can provide. So there's all these sex toys, I mean, there's always been a lot of sex toys,

but now they're just clitorally focused. So you can put them right there. Unintuitive, it's quiet. You barely know it's there, and it helps women of orgasm during your divorce. All right, what's wrong? Why you laughing at me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, feel like today the shows are starting off like kind of weird it's like all over the place and what do you mean very posse I want to just want to keep on going okay sex in the news yeah Bristol pale in promote Bristol pale in promote's abstinence by living with boyfriend

on TV what's his reality show I didn't even notice after smacking baby died to leave by Johnson for thousands back in child support Bristol pale in his society to plunge into a trial marriage which will be a drama please please, followed in trail at TV. Whatever, I don't care about her. Okay. Yeah, I mean, she went hard with it, when the campaign was going on, the president was taking her. Right, but now she's living with some guy in reality TV,

like she'll do whatever opportunity comes her way. Who cares? Yeah, of course, she'd make money. I don't think that she's actually staying pure. I like, she's having sex with this guy. Everyone who says it through to a virgin, or who's waiting and they're saving it, already have an argument.

But does it have a baby? Yeah, yeah. She's like, she's committed to being... She's gonna be absent now. Absent again until she's married. But does that work? And you sort of... No, I know.

She's definitely either blowing this guy or really having sex with them. There's no effin' way. them. There's no f in way. Okay. There's no way. I don't even care about the palan. I don't want to talk about it. Well, her ex already impregnated and...

I know. That's what we talked about that in Friday. So, like, two palan mentions in a week is way too many for me. Forget Viagra, the new cuddle drug could be key to better, better bedroom performance. Cuddle drug? Oh, you'll love this. I know. Oxytocin sniffing a compound made up of oxytocin, the hormone that prompts women to create

breast milk and bond with their babies, has been recently shown to have very beneficial effects on a man's sex life, called the Cattle Chemical and test subjects in increased libido and enhanced performance and also makes men more sensitive and aware of other feelings. Aware, that's not true, does it? It makes men more sensitive and aware of other feelings. However, can we this on apophools.com? No, however, one man in the study wasn't 100% pleased with his new touch.

He is reporting in one instance that he hugged another male colleague in a very out of character way. You need this drug man, it's because you don't like cuddling in bed. I like cuddling. So oxytocin is actually natural, is a natural chemical that we all produce after we have sex, after we have intercourse, and in men, oxytocin spikes right after. So that's like right after why men are kind of like more cuddly except for menace. And for women, it keeps spiking and spiking, so it's not as dramatic.

And so that's when women get attached. So that's why I always say that women should not rush or pee and have sex right away. A reason to wait. Not that's it. Wait until you're three years, but wait a few months is because we get attached to men. We have the axitocin spikes. We think we like this guy even though he's a serial killer. We don't know. We accept them.

And we've got the axitocin in our brain, whatever, but they're saying that this could be good for men who need more to be more affectionate, whatever. And I don't understand how they're putting it in a trance. I don't want to see how they're going to start taking the struggle either. You I don't understand how they're putting it in a truck. I don't wanna see how they're gonna start taking the struggle either. You don't think men are gonna take it? No, I mean, why would they be encouraged to take it? Be honest.

Because men should be cuddly. I love cuddly. It doesn't make your penis bigger and stronger or anything like that. So who cares? I think I care. I want men to be cuddly. I love it.

Yeah, but maybe I see women breaking it up and putting in their coffee or something, but I'll see guys taking it on their own. No way. But this also increased libido and enhanced performance. Okay. A lot of men at proms, we talk a lot about that. We talk about that on the show the other day. Okay, let's go to eat some emails.

All right, from the people. From the peeps, thanks everyone for writing us at feedback at sexwithemily.com. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter, sex to Emily, you can find menace at White Menace on everything. And Instagram too, which was just bought for a billion dollars. We're going to get into that a minute. Let me just tease what's upcoming. Oscar Romando, he's talking about gay dating and Instagram and a lot of other things.

I am so excited to talk to him. I know. I kept saying menace is going to love talking here today. We're going to get there in a second. So shortly. All right, circumcision, this is about circumcision. I enjoyed your article about the difference between about the difference between intact men and circumcised ones. I wish they had not committed that aggravated battery on me

when I was infant. Please remember that it's not the man's fault when that's been done to him. Carl, Hegg Blune from Salt Lake City, Utah. So this is from a blog that we wrote from a Confessions of an Interim blog about her boyfriend is uncircumptants and how the sex is different.

So he was just commenting on it. The simple difference between a circumcised and uncircumcised penis is the thin layer of skin, the four skin, which is highly sensitive and seronsy end of the uncircumcised penis like a sleeve. And when a wrecked and uncircumcised penis like a sleeve. And when a wrecked, an uncircumcised man's foreskin retracts over the shaft, exposing the head, blah, blah, blah. People say that it's more sensitive and that can feel better than that.

A lot of people think it's a crime against men to be circumcised. Like my friend, she came over with her baby the other day, he was like, you're much sick. Look, uncircumcised. It's a whole thing. That's an effing disturb. What do you think? Right.

My thing is, I don't think people can actually have a fair, I don't know, how to say, explain the difference of the feeling unless, you know, they had a circumcision done when they were 20 years old. Right, exactly. You can't say like my orgasms better than your orgasm or whatever. Yeah, I mean, women probably can say what they like better.

They like uncircumcisms. Yeah. So good. Well, what I think it's interesting is that, you know, female circumcision is sort of frowned upon all over the world. Right. It's sort of like a double standard, right? I mean, total double standard. And that's just, I mean, it's general mutilation is general mutilation. Exactly. It's exactly. Well, there are, there is a whole movement, but I don't know. People still do it for religious reasons and all the stuff

have you heard of partial circumcision no yes sort of what is that you have like a partial part part of your force can still there but it's sort of cleaned up a little bit okay um so you get some of the some of the sensations that you would have if you're in circum intact um I want all the sensations. Yeah, but I get the partial part. I would, I'd be like, just partial, I wouldn't want all. Okay, so how do you feel about uncircumcised penises

anything, any comments? No, no comment. No, okay. I'm sorry. I know how do you feel about that. I'm happy that I am circumcised. How about that? Because I don't even want to get into this

because people are so passionate about it. Like even in San Francisco, remember they were trying to ban circumcised. How about that? Because I don't even want to get into this because people are so passionate about it. Like even in San Francisco, remember they were trying to ban circumcised circumcision and stuff like that. People lose their minds over it. People lose their minds about everything. Okay. Why am I single? Long time no right Emily. It's your favorite sailor Jamal. Remember Jamal? It's all the time. He hasn't ran us in a while. Here to write you something that's been out my mind for a few weeks now.

I hit the big three-row this year. I was wondering, what is it about me that keeps me single? I think I figured it out. I think I'm an idealistic dinosaur. You see Emily, I believe in finding true love. I believe in romance. I believe in manners. I believe in silvery.

I believe that showing a woman that you care for her isn't being soft or whipped, it means you're honest. I know, not just believe that commitment is more my style than random hookups, and that does not make me cling to your codependent. I also know that despite all this, I still cannot find someone. Trust me, I've tried. Match, okay, cupid, Craigslist personal, not casual encounters, speed dating twice, friends, family hooky, me up, etc.

The workplace is tricky because the military is rules against it. I also know that I'm afraid that this time, misright-roles into my life, I'll be so fed up and angry with waiting that I'll devolve into some borderline misogynistic womanizer. I know who I am and what I deserve. I'm not looking for a woman who's finally figured out. I'm not looking for a woman who finally figured out after a decade plus of dating and maybe a few baby daddies,

that she wants to be with someone who treats her well. Millions of women have learned that lesson for her. She didn't have to touch fire to find out of burns and scares you. I refused to pay for another man's mistake. So what does a fella do? What does a fella do? Oh, God, I feel like I need to lay him down

and have a heart to heart, like a therapy session or something and give him a stiff drink. I don't think he's doing anything wrong. I'm happy that he's actually going out there and trying things like speed dating and okay, cube it and all those. It takes time. When you, if that's how you feel about having a relationship where you want it to be like that, it's gonna take you while you're not just gonna find somebody right away If you're out there just bang in of course, you're just gonna find chicks left and right But if this is right if you want something that's true true love and all that stuff It's it's gonna happen overnight. I think Jamal's doing a lot of work a lot of soul searching And he's obviously figured a lot of things out and what he believes in which is so important who he's gonna be

He's like I've listened to the show of I've listened to this advice, that advice, but I believe in chivalry, I believe in romance, I believe in manners, and he's gonna keep being himself until he finds someone. And keep going, takes time. Life is about the journey. You will find someone, we're all gonna find someone, but I believe that Jamal's problem,

because we've received several emails from Jamal's over time. And Jamal always says that he's frustrated and he can't find someone. And I just believe that attitude and that he believes he's not gonna find someone is the reason why he's not finding someone. Because he keeps, man, he's repeating that.

He's very negative about it. Yeah. I think he's approaching it very angrily already. I think he's too angry. Got a chill, man. Jamal, you gotta have fun with this shit. Just have fun, meet people, go out and date but it doesn't have to be the one. You're only 30 years old, man. Jamal, you got to have fun with this shit. Just have fun, meet people, go out and date, but it doesn't have to be the one.

You're only 30 years old, Jesus. What you do is you get to a bar, you drink as much as you can in the first 10 minutes and then just start talking to people. He might not be a drinker. Menace, that's menace's solution for everything's alcohol. No, alcohol, you know, the answer sometimes. I'm kidding though, you should not do that because you'll be out of your mind and you would not be able to take anybody home that night.

Because you'll turn everybody off because you're wasted. It's sarcasm. I'm just fine. But you can definitely drink the loosen yourself up a little bit. You know, did not be as shy, but don't drink the bar and the first sentence. Don't just don't drink as much as menace. But I think that we saying is that it's going to take a while that women don't realize that they want a nice guy and he's a nice guy, but women will realize it and when the time is right. It's all about timing and relationships. Can we talk to the guests now?

I'm very excited. Done, I have to be now. No, no, no. I knew that you'd be so excited. No, I knew you were still here, menace. I'm still here. No, no, no. Let's talk a little bit so excited. No, I knew you were so nervous. I'm still here, man. I'm still here.

No, no, no. Let's talk a little bit about Oscar. Let me give you a little intro here. Oscar, Rhe Mondo, am I saying that right? Yep. Okay. So he writes for Rolling Stone, The Atlantic, and QueerT.com. He is currently working on his first novel, Confessions of a Boy Toy.

You're a Boy Toy? No, not anymore. Isn't about you. It's right. It's a fictional count, but I'm sure there's some juicy stuff in there about you. But what we're talking about is he just wrote a poem. It was on your blog today and Huffington Post. Right. And it's called The Male Gays or Loadmore is that part of the title? Yeah, Loadmore. Loadmore, The Male Gays

self-objectification and gay vanity on Instagram. That's right. That's really interesting, interesting article. Question number one, yes. Why do you care about Instagram when you have an awesome app for you guys called Grindr? Grindr, right. So the thing is, you know, why you even use Instagram?

Because that's what the article is. You don't even know this. Okay, so you know, when it comes to getting laid, game in our obviously, the early adopters you know, when it comes to getting laid, game men are obviously the early adopters, right? When it comes to any technology, any emerging technology. And Instagram is sort of like the new kid on the block.

It's like the hot thing. Everyone has it. Everyone's talking about it. Facebook just bought it for a billion dollars. A billion dollars today. Today, yeah. So definitely it's the it's the it application. Right.

And of course, gay men have, I starting to use it as sort of a grinder. As sort of, you know, you don't have to take a photo of your coffee that you're having that morning. You can take a photo of you shirtless in front of a mirror and maybe that will get more likes, right? Yeah. I don't know because my buddy who's gay,

he's not really into Instagram, but he is on the grinder 24-7. He's on another one called Boy Hoi. Uh-huh, Boy Hoi. And I think there's one other one. Scruff? That he talked about. But there's so many.

There's so many. Just for like bears and stuff like that too. Yeah. Yeah, I don't see why you would be interested in Instagram at all. Yeah, Instagram more than any other social network site. Why is Instagram the one that everyone's going to now? I think just because those filters make everyone want to see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can make some really cool photos. Yeah, like you could just be like having a horrible night, be totally hung over whatever and bloated and make yourself look amazing by using Instagram. Then how would you take from Instagram, using Instagram, how do you take that from following somebody to dating somebody?

Yes. Well, it's tricky, right? Because it's not built for that, but I think that's sort of the appeal to it, right? So Grindr, you get what you get, it's pretty self explanatory, but with Instagram, you have to work a little bit more. This is just for gay guys,

but because you first have to find the location, so you have to work a little bit more. This is just for gay guys, but because you first have to find the location, so you have to look at the hashtag and find somebody that's posted somebody in San Francisco or use the geo location. And then you have to find out if they're gay and if they have a shirtless photo that's most likely their gay. And then they have to have a link to their Twitter

or a link to their Facebook or another social network. And then you connect, because you can't send a message on Instagram. Right, right. So I just found out they have an app now called InstaDM. I'm not really into it though because it searches your Instagram contacts and who else is on InstantDM, but the only problem is to first contact that person, you have to leave a comment saying that you're on Insta DM. Oh, I see.

So that's kind of annoying. Yeah. That's annoying. There's too many steps in that process. Well, I mean, now that Facebook has got its hands on it, I'm sure all that stuff, all that social stuff is going to come in. It's going to be all integrated.

Yeah, I can't even imagine what they're going to do with it. It's going to be. Yeah, it's going to be crazy. But I see, but there's so many different steps. I'm like, I see, like, OK, one of the women I feel that's one of the hottest women in the world right I follow on on Instagram and and Twitter and Facebook and Tumblr Twitter you follow on Twitter But yeah, I if she didn't link her Twitter on right

I mean there would be no way for me to like unless I was being a creeper and I was in a bunch of comments, that's the only way I'll be able to, like, have a conversation with her. You know? Well, it's definitely a lot of steps, and it's definitely not. But it's kind of like this way that they can, because you're talking about what?

No, so I was like, so I'm saying, like, how do you see it blowing up in the gasean? It is. Well, it's blown up in the gasean, and just not necessarily dating or finding dates, but you know, I've interviewed some guys that at bars people go up to the New like oh, I follow you on Instagram. So it's sort of become you know a conversation topic and kind of pick up line. Yeah, and When it comes to you know Posting a photo of yourself looking attractive.

I mean, and you see, I'm not, I hate that kind of stuff. Like if there's a girl that post, I just tweeted about that. If a girl posts 15 self portraits in a day, I'm on following that bitch. I don't care how hot she is. But why? Because she's self-involved.

Yeah, self-involved. Like, I already know what the F you look like. Like, I don't need that many photos of you Right, you know, right, but yeah, it's different Yeah, I posted I said once I've portured a week. It's acceptable But there's some that are just all day long just photos of themselves like I do not Let's see let me pull up I took a screenshot screenshot of this guy just because what about this guy? Do you think these are too many?

Oh, yeah. Oh my god. It's only photos of him. But that's what the gay community is doing. And that's where you're all supposed to be. I mean, this is sort of the extreme of it, but it's just, and the thing is, what we... I didn't mean to go through pictures.

Oh, it's okay. I deleted all the naughty ones before coming here. Just because I knew you were gonna do that. You were gonna do that. But yeah, I mean, I was always phone. I think I've got the phone. I think I've got the phone. I think I've got the phone. I think I've got the phone. But yeah, I mean, I was always, when I was writing articles, a little conflicted about it because, you know, I'm always

under the impression that if you've got it, flaunt it, right? Right. You look good. Having, if you go to the gym five times a week and, you know, you only eat salads. Right. And you look great.

Then, of course, I mean, that should be, you should be able to feel proud about that because but you know There comes a point where it's a little too much and it can be too much and it just but you said something really interesting in the article and again That's our good where can people find this the easiest way your website and the habit of post I mean I have a deposit or you can just search confessions of a boy toy and you It'll come out but I thought it was interesting you need to about gay men crave attention. I mean, everyone craves attention. Everyone craves attention.

Men is likes to say that I crave attention. It's funny that actually, did you know a family guy made fun of that about gay guys craving attention? Tell me about it. It was out of carnival. The whole family was out of carnival and one of the prizes is you win a gay guy. And then so one

of the kids won the gay guy and he asked the family, he's like, oh, can I keep it? I keep it and they're like, well, how do you feed it? And he's like, oh, I just need attention. That's how I live. You're saying you're an article that I think gay men for the most part crave attention. Instagram is an easy way to get as much much attention as you want said kody recently crowned the sword dot com number one hot in instagram so it's interesting that it's uh... that something about that flood of getting like that i think it's for gay and

straight everyone everyone who whatever you have ever you identify we all like being validated for our photos like this little serotonin rush you get it every like a little every time someone likes your photo, you get like, oh my god, that feels good. Right, even on Facebook. And you go on Facebook, yeah, same thing, you feel validated. So I guess you could see the good community,

if that is something that's, you know, you're constantly getting this reinforcement. Right, but is it sort of like a slippery slope? No, I mean, let's say Emily, you post a cute photo of yourself and you're maybe showing your bra strap. Right. And everyone bra strap. Right. And everyone likes it. Right.

Then next week, are you gonna post one with both, or your nipple? Yeah. No, I know. I've never gone down that road of posting tons of sexy photos of myself. I've been, people have said that to me, they've actually said that would help your business

and that would help your website. You should post more. But it's not really who I am. I'm not that comfortable with it, but I want to look hot and photos when it get me wrong. I'm like, okay, you know, we all get to approve the photos that are friends posting stuff, but I've never been the one that's posting updates all day. It's so funny. I watch other women talk about the women that start posting a lot of self portraits.

And it becomes where, oh, she looks cute. And then it goes down to, they start critiquing everything. Oh, she got a big ass forehead. Oh, you know, her nose is fucked up. But, you know, right. Cause you're opening up, you're supposed to have only posting those photos, right? Yeah, but I'm exactly. Exactly.

I'm sure it's not as bad. No, I mean, in the gay community, everyone likes it, but it's still, you know, I just, I'm wary of, of, you it, but it's still You know, I just I'm wary of of you know this whole internet, you know making you know I remember like there used to be a time when you would go home with a guy and you'd be like so excited to like wait for him to take off his shirt And now it's like every day that I meet I've already seen it. I've already done it. I've seen you with your shirt off. It takes some of it away It's hard taking away conversation too, because you share important parts of your life

where things have happened, fun things online. And then you go out later to tell your friend about it. Like, oh yeah, I already read on it. I saw that. I saw your things happening. Yeah, it's weird. It's almost like, so what do you talk about in person? Men just sit in tweets the whole time.

But I thought it was also interesting when you say that when an interesting quote was interesting about this trend for gay men is that being attracted to the same sex inherently means an attraction to oneself. We at once, both the man hunters and the hunted. Yeah, my gay buddy was talking, I think this is what you're talking about.

He was saying how it's so much easier because all you have to do is when you go to the club, you just look at them. They're just a look. Right. The gaze there. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. And then you already know what's up and then you leave. That's it. It's not like, yeah, I mean, that happens in it. There's no like awkward thing where, you know, between men and women, I don't know if she likes me, does she like me, blah, blah. There's just a look, that's what he said, there's just a look. That's it, I wish it was that easy.

I could just look at a chick, I'm like, all right, and then you just leave the club, and you already know what's gonna go. What happens to sometimes? Like a two a.m. you're drawing off, but who's ever last standing, does that what happens to you? But my buddy will just go to a club for 20 minutes, and that's it, that's all I wish I could do that. I don't have to you? But like my buddy will just go to a club for 20 minutes and that's it.

That's why I wish I could do that. I don't have to spend hours in a club. How does he hold the same? That is a gay stereotype. He is early 30s. Okay. Yeah. But that is what happens in the gay community a lot.

It depends where you hang out though. Like I've tons of gay friends who that's their world and that's not their world, right? Right. So what about if you had a a friend and you followed him on Instagram and all of a sudden he started posting photos like this. Okay. I went after the other one, I'll follow him immediately. I don't know, I'd probably get it.

I'm my gave friend, so I'd probably get a kick out of it. I don't spell that time out. It doesn't bother me. Yeah, what about you? Well, are you into it? Like are you finding people to date? Well, I'm seeing someone and it's sort of serious, right? seeing someone and this kind of series, right?

It's sort of caused some jealousy, right? When I live where like, you like a photo in a photo. Yeah, because also on Instagram, you might not know this. You can click on your friend's feed and see all the photos that they love to you. Oh.

So it's funny because I was watching this other girl that I know, she liked this guy, but then she went and looked at all the photos that he liked, and she screen shot it and put it online, and it's like, oh, we can really see what he's into. And he liked all these photos of chicks like showing off their butts and their tits and all this stuff.

Oh, God, really? And then she like totally blew off this guy. Oh, my God, it's funny. Yeah, you could totally see it all, but I am... Yeah, we were always saying, do I, would I... But I like it, I... what is this gonna say to you? I don't know.

Yes, I like it, it wouldn't bother me. What was I saying, I don't know. Well, I told my boyfriend that- Oh, no, that's what I was gonna say. The couples, they're even, and their couples, they're like, they're committed, but they still want that attention. So they're still posting, and they're like,

okay, you can show your pictures, but your ass is mine. Like, you can never show your ass on Instagram. Like, couples make rules. Sure, and it're like, okay, you can show your pictures, but your ass is mine. Like you can never show your ass on Instagram. Like couples make rules. Sure. And it's just another step that you have to like, you know, compromise and figure that out. Right. Yeah, I definitely see that with females.

I have boyfriends or husbands, and they just, they fiend for more attention. So they constantly feed the internet with, you know, sexy photos of themselves. Like, you already with somebody. Why are you trying to get your attention? But I guess they need that. Some people need that.

We only need affirmation. And that's how people can easily get it now in the interwrap. I don't know. I want people to affirm and I want people to like the sex with the Emily fan page. That makes me feel good. And they're not called fan pages anymore, but whatever. So what else?

So what kind of feedback have you gotten on the article? Do you feel like you've spotted this trend and that's probably even going to increase, right? Because you've been like, I wouldn't know that. Everyone's on Instagram. Well, no one has sort of written about it in this way, so it's great that everyone's talking about Instagram now. Oh my God, it's crazy.

So what do you work on next? What's your next article? Well, I don't know. I sort of like to take some time off before jumping into something big like this because it does take a lot. You know, it takes a lot of research. Oh my God, there's a lot of research. Yeah, looking out of the shirtless guys on Instagram.

I'm just saying, you're constantly writing, right, and you're doing a book. Right, so right now I'm focusing on the book. Okay, in confessions of a boy. Confessions of a boy. And what's that about? It's about gay dating in the future. Oh, right.

Okay. So what's, you know, sort of? What do you think it's going to be? I think it's going to be kind of scary. Really? Everyone's going to know everything about each other. I mean, this is sort of like a, like a, I think it'd be exaggeration.

But I think there's going to be a lot of quick relationships. Mm-hmm. Way more than our own. In the gay community or in general. And I think in the gay community I mean observing my friends I think they go in and out relationships like seriously I mean they suddenly they call it like you know with lesbians right you know the first day they're already moving in right like that but I think that they're getting in and out of relationships like super quick your friends are now yeah compare to

like 10 years ago well and good and the thing in San Francisco, you're always thinking, you know, what's the, there's another guy around the block, you know, the bigger picture. The bigger better deal. Yeah. That's the same LA that every guy you date, there's like, look, are the women's looking for the BBD,

the bigger better deal. Like, what's the next next? It's actually in dating online, it gives you so many more opportunities to show to people liking you, liking you, liking you all the time, but that's good, you're in a committed relationship. I am. I am. Being a good boy. I try. I try to, Jesus. I believe when I

get married, if I, if social networking wasn't part of my job, that I probably get rid of it all. I don't care. I would love to see that day. I swear, I would love to see that day too. I'm going to make a motion picture about you deleting your Facebook account. It would be amazing. I would love to see that day too. I'm going to make a motion picture about you deleting your Facebook account. It would be amazing. I would love to do it. I would love to get rid of my email too. I know. I hate email.

That would not be possible. Email makes me tense. OK, this was interesting here. Yeah. In very topical. No, they're topical. Check out, in Cdm, I told you about that stuff. Yeah.

I think that's what's going to be the future for that app because everyone's going to want to haul it out at each other. I'm, yeah. What? Which I thought would because the DMing, but now Facebook bought it, it's just gonna go crazy. I'm sure that they, they'll add the DM. I'll talk about Instagram, so check it out. Okay everyone, thanks so much for listening. Just thank you. I'll, wait, people can find you, which website? Confessions of a Boy Toy.

Confessions of a Boy Toy, and it's also on our website, it's actually.com. You'll be able to find it there. Thanks everyone for listening to this show. Was it good for you? Confessions of a boy toy.