Sex With Emily - SWE: Sex Parties

Episode Date: July 13, 2012

Emily interviews Captain Erotica - he saves relationships in a single bound and couples hire him to teach them have better sex lives. Emily also talks about her first sex party experience. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Say the eyes, my man. Hello, you're listening to Sex with Emily. So, like I said, it's Saturday night in San Francisco, April 15th. Did you all do your taxes? Hopefully you're not stuck at home finishing your taxes. But if you are, we promise we will keep you entertained. And when is it gonna stop raining? Captain Radico, was it raining when you got here?

No, actually it was nice and dry. We're making a little more moist around here. More moist, it's gonna get wet. It's gonna get hot around here, but like I, okay. So like I've said in the show, this is what we're going to talk about right now. Sex with the same person gets boring. It just does.

After a few months of like the hot sex with someone, maybe a few months or a few years if you're lucky, you kind of struggled to keep it interesting, right? Yes, it's true. Like everyone else, we all do. So this is why my guests on the show are often doing something that's just a little bit different and hopefully inspire you to break out of that. Like I only have sex and missionary position, right?

And because I, you know, when, okay, here's the thing, we all have these like, we do a lot of things in life that we try to change, right? We might go and die, so get a new job, a new haircut, but when do we ever update our sexual bag of tricks? When do we give it a makeover? When do you learn something new? So I try to practice what I preach on sex with Emily.

And Captain Erotica asked me to my first sex party. So I said yes, right? But like you people listening, perhaps I thought, kind of crazy. It's going to be a crazy word, orgy, with strange dudes hitting on me. But it was kind of fun. We had a really good time. We're going to talk about that my first sex party experience. It's kind of like a lavish cocktail party with like beautiful people everywhere,

but you know, some are kind of like having sex in the corner and stuff, which is not like normal parties, but so it's a little different. And I also got invited back to my first sex party after to the next party they had, so that was fun. And he's also good. So we're going to talk about right now. Are you interested in going to sex parties? What do you want to know about them?

You want to get invited? We want to get invited. I'm about sex parties. Do you want to go? Because I know I thought it'd be crazy weird too, but it wasn't. It was really hot and fun. So that's what we're talking about tonight, erotic coaching, sex fantasies, and sex parties.

And you can also check out, so we're sex with Emily and we're podcasts as well. And you can also check it out, sexwithemily.com. Captain Erotic has been on our show a few times, who we can swear and say stuff that we can't say right now. So you can listen to those. And yeah, you can also check out 1.069freefm.com for our past shows, which are all podcast there.

So will we take your calls at tripe8501.069? If you have any questions for the good captain. So hi, Captain Erotic. Hi Emily. Thanks for joining us tonight. Oh, it's so nice to be back. It's an honor to be here live on the radio. I know this is fun right? We are live. Usually edit things around right on our podcast but this is live. So okay I know of your super special powers but if people are listening like what's this? Erotic erotic here. What

is this? What does it mean to be an erotic superhero? Well I think that any human being has the capacity to be a superhero and it's a matter of focusing on what your passions and your skills are. And I happen to be very passionate and skilled at the erotic arts, as I like to call them. I think that, you know, there should be erotic arts departments at universities because frankly, it's very important important all of us and yet it's very understudied in a lot of ways. So if you look at our culture there's heroes and heroines of all different kinds but there's not too many sexual or erotic ones. I think you're one of them here you are having your own show helping people have better sex lives. You're super heroine in my opinion. Ah, thank you.

But anyway for myself what it means is I go about in the world both in my private and professional life helping people have better sex lives Helping them fulfill their fantasies helping them actualize what I call their erotic self and Sometimes I do that through my erotic coaching practice and other times I do it through something called the erotic ice bar Which is a interactive sensual beverage experience when I say to say that. I've heard of Rad about that. We didn't have one at our sex party. No, we didn't. But this is the thing. So I had heard we got introduced a while back,

and he was on the show, and I'm thinking, okay, a captain oratica, what does it mean? And then you go to his website, which is at tribe.net. It's going to www tribe.net and use their new search function to just type in Captain oratica. You can find my blog and my profile and my testimonials. And there's like all this thing. There's all on this website. There's all these men and women, but amazingly hot women who are like,

okay, I had to print out some of your testimonials. These are people who like, he's really saved their lives. I'm talking about saving the world when orgasm and time you're doing it. You're saving the world. You're saving it. These women are like, okay, here's a few quotes. Captain Arradica changed my life, not by an any act or sensation, but by opening my mind to the multi-universe of infinite possibilities. That's one. And then this is the one I like. He is completely desirable. How does lava? He's giving me the best sex of my life. He's a kinky messiah, a spiritual superhero. Okay, so that's Captain Rantica and it's true. I've seen him in action. So we're gonna talk about sex parties. What are you? This is where we're starting. What do you want to know about

sex parties? Have you been to a sex party? Do you want to know how to get invited to one? We're gonna talk about it and we're taking your questions here and we're only going to hear your stories about sex parties because they're all over San Francisco in the Bay area. Give us a call, triple eight, 500, one, oh six, nine. So my dear captain, what is a sex party? Well, I think of a sex party as a party that you're going to go to where you're fairly guaranteed that some

people, maybe not you, but some people present will be having sex. Now that's different than a sensual party or essentially themed party where people might dress and lingerie and be sexy or there might be some dance polls or whatever. But at a sex party, it's just what it's saying. You're going to go there and there is an intention of the group that people will be having sex with each other. It doesn't mean every person there is going to have sex as you saw at our party that went to. But it means that people can have sex and it's not going to be surprising.

In fact, it's really welcomed. So what, why do you think it's important for people to, like, why do you think people are trying to expand their sexual universe here like we're doing? Why watch someone go to sex party? Well, there's a lot of different motivations for people to go to sex parties. You know, you have your lawyers, people who want to watch other people have sex and your exhibitionist, people who want to be watched. And then there's just a sort of, I don't know, expansion of the whole experience because

you get to see how other people are behaving with each other in a sexual context in a way that's not pornography or it's like safe. It's like safe because I like I was saying when I started, it was like, I thought there's gonna be some weird creepy like things that I'd create me uncomfortable and it was really like cozy and warm and beautiful. It's important at any event like that, that the energy that's created by the space

and whoever the people that are putting it on, how they decorate and who they invite to the party kind of sets a tone for the party. So there's a whole range of them from something that's a little bit more taudry and kind of low budget where people are just going, okay, there are some mattresses and go and have some fun up through something that's a little bit more

elaborate and high-end and intentional. That's it, I like the sex party that we went to. So like I was saying, I went to my first one and he said, I'm like, you gotta go to a sex party. Do you wanna come to this one with me? And I liked that it was sort of this exclusive, highly cultivated list that they, yeah. Yeah, it's the one that we went to

as a long time ongoing party and the people have worked really hard to get a good group of people together. And it's not the same group of people, yes, they're definitely hot. Of course, as we wanna remind our listeners, is in the eye of the beholder. True, true. Any sex sex party you go to, and pleasures can happen with your eyes closed. But in this case, it is definitely a really, really hot group of people, at least as far as

are aesthetic. And it's done in a gorgeous house. And the people have really, like I said, worked hard to create a list of people who they know are going to be in alignment with what they want to have happening at the party, which is what happens at the party. is... What happens at the party? Well, what happens at the party is like as in the beginning any normal party, there's sort of the meet and greet, mix and mingle. Some parties allow alcohol like the one we went to, some parties don't at all.

But there's a period where people are just hanging out, you wouldn't know it was a sex party in the first hour, an hour, an half, two hours or whatever. And then the way I like to look at it is that the exhibition is in the bunch or sort of the veterans who have maybe been coming to that event for a while kind of get the ball rolling after a couple of hours. Some parties actually have it where there isn't any sex until a certain time and then after that they're like Ring of Bell or something? Yeah, Ring of Bell or often sex, everyone checks it because. Yeah, you have sex.

But oftentimes they'll even have to just a circle where everyone comes together and kind of sits down and the person who's in charge will put something out that says You know, please treat each other respectfully don't touch anybody without asking just a few basic guidelines. They sent in an email for us beforehand. Yeah, this is very Labored in the way that they prepare people for it. So it's a it was a lover Yeah, and I was nervous I was because I've never been to a sex party and I was like at this email like you you know you have know, you have to do this, you have to make sure you come, you have to be in a couple with the one that we went to or you have to be in good standing and like, if you're in a relationship, you have to be in vice. Is it how all sex parties are telling me this? No, not at all. This was just a note that these people have observed over time because they've been doing this for years, that if you

go to a sex party, you know, let's say you signed up for it six months ago and then like two days before you have an argument with your partner and things are kind of on the Out well if you go to that party your energy might radiate outward and you don't want to have anybody having a fight at that party So they just trying to encourage people you know come to the party in a really good place Yeah, I love the Q&A. It was like it was like frequently asked questions my partner and I are getting along We thought we'd go to a sex party to spice it up up. And they're like, no, no, no, you cannot do a sex party. But so we want to, okay, so the sex party. So we, there's a theme, our party was themed.

It was enchanted, forced, whatever. It was Peter Pan. Peter Pan was the boy's just sort of pirate like, and the lady's just kind of fairy like, and it was fun to give people sort of something to kind of tack on for their costume, you know, instead of just saying, oh, where lingerie they could have a little bit of a sense of yeah, because every party in the city is like, oh, look how much they're lingerie. This is different.

And it was really fun because this took place at a place that has a pool and a deck and they actually rigged a plank and had some of the fairies walk the plank, which is pretty fun. I know. I mean, it was it was really it was amazing. So like I said, I just went to my first sex party. What do you want to know about sex party? So you curious about them? Have you ever been to one? Do you have a story? Do you have any questions for our dear captain

who gets hired actually to go to sex parties? Yes, sometimes. Not have sex, but to do some amazing things that he's going to talk about here. But have you been? Do you want to know? This is your chance. I know you're all thinking, oh, I would never do it.

But I thought that too. I thought, I am not the sex party type. I'll try some things I am not gonna go I would have you know, I've enough guys hitting on me where I'm not gonna go to sex party But it was well, let's talk about that It was not that so give us a call though if you've any questions. You're listening to sex with Emily on 106 9 free FM and our number is triple eight 500 106 9 we are with the erotic superhero captain erotic talking about sex parties. Sex parties, you know, one of the main things that I found that's important is that you

need to have there be a balance of enough people who are there as couples and enough people there as singles. Some parties limit the energy of single men because men tend to be the more proactive hitting on type of people around sex and women are more chill about it. So a lot of times like the one we went to for example, you're really not allowed to be a single male there. You have to come with a date and you can't just like bring a date and then ditch her and go and hit on people. It's just not really looked well upon.

So it creates an environment where you don't have to feel scared. You can have a light little flirtation, maybe look at someone and think they're attractive but they're not going to come over and be like, so. Right. I mean, that's the thing. It was like this really, that's what I was saying. It's like, I thought I was nervous beforehand. And I was like, okay, I'll get dressed up in my little nymph like.

She was a super cute rock. So you should have seen her with her little wings on her. I said this on the podcast interview. Everybody in this place was looking at Emily. It was extremely fun to watch because she was very demure and kind of feeling it out, but yet in a way that actually attracted almost more attention than if she was being flamboyant. And it was cool because as you noticed,

it was really mellow in the beginning and then all of a sudden at a certain point, you looked up and you were like, wow, look, that woman's giving that guy oral sex. Right, exactly. And it just seemed so blazzy. And the person next to them was really, you know, really noticed.

That was exactly because it did. Started with get there and I was like, hi, nice to meet you. And we know, you noticed. Exactly, because it did. Sorry that we get there and we're like, hi, nice to meet you. And we're having drinks. I mean, I am wearing wings and whatever. But it's, and then after an hour and a half, like most of the kids really gets going. We're drinking and I look over and there's like,

yeah, people having sex and people getting naked. But it wasn't obtrusive. It was like, it was, it was comfortable. It was a very measured way. In other words, you look at it at an hour into it and a couple of things are happening. You look two hours into it and then, oh, it's a little more full blown. Another thing I want to make clear is that, you know, a lot of the parties have a big layout space. So there's

a private place, if you want to just go off with your height. There's lots of private places here. And then there's public places for people who are really wanted, like I said, before you're sick about it. So there's lots of choices. I mean, I think you get to do it all. That's a thing. I was like, I never got in the hot tub. Well you got invited back so I did when can we go back? I Think that's gonna be open a couple months. It's the same one. It's like okay. Okay. We're talking about sex parties Yeah, I had my first experience with a good captain What do you want do you want? There's all these people doing sex parties and doing things here But just like I know it must interest you a little bit, because I know I was intrigued,

but I didn't think I'd ever do it. But Captain Rada Kasepro and we can tell you, he can answer your questions about it. And I want to hear your stories. Have you ever been to a sex party? Have you ever been to one of these sex clubs? Do you, what have you done there? A Telester Experience,

Triple-A, 500, 1, and 6, 9. You're listening to Sex with Emily. So are there different like levels of sex parties like beginner and media intermediate advanced? Yeah I mean there's not like a rating system you know you can't sort of like qualify it by some sort of board but there definitely are and really it comes down to we've touched on some of this already a little bit like what the setting is and how much intentionality goes into it that really set these things apart. A lot of people want to know, you know, well, how do I go to a sex party? Even if we wanted to, how would we go about flying?

I mean, I had to find the kept, kept in a rata kota go. But the way that it works, the one I want to advise people is that there's a really kind of like a layered way that you go about it. In other words, you're not just going to pop on Craigslist or, you know, go on the internet and find a sex party and get invited, because again, people like to have a sense of who's going to be there. And while there are some parties in the area that are open to the public, there's one, for example, that lets guys download a form and say that,

you know, I'm a single guy, but I promise to behave. So they have to. Yeah, you have to show up at the door with the things signed that says, I'll behave. And if there's a problem, there's monitors, you know, that kind of thing. But anyway, so there are some that are in public. But if you want to go about finding some kind of a scene where you can get invited to a sex party, I would recommend that you look around the city for any sort of workshops or events that you might see that are public,

that aren't about having sex, but that are about the topic of sex or eroticism. And then in those type of environments, you can meet people, make friends, and that's really how you're going to get invited if you meet that. That's how like I met you and you became my friend Captain Erotic is my best friend. You're listening to Sex with Emily on 106-9 free FM and we'd like to hear from you triple 8506-9 we're talking to Captain Erotic about everything sex and sex you but we're talking about sex parties and fantasies like living here how you, he's an erotic coach, he helps people, men and women live their dreams.

So we'll be talking to Sex with Emily. On 106-9-3-FM, and we're changing the world one orgasm at a time. You can have more sex with Emily at sexwithamily.com and listen to our past shows on 106-9-3-FM.com. Okay, we're talking about sex parties with Captain Erotica. He is a real death, he flies in and he helps people's sex lives. I'd like to encourage all the listeners, you need to be erotic superheroes too because there needs to be more of a mouth there. It's true. I mean, that's what we're trying to do here. And he, I mean, we are, we, oh, God, there's so much I want to say about you, but he, right now, we're

talking about sex parties because that's actually how we got to know each other. And we, you know, it was fun. I know you, sex parties seem kind of weird. Kind of, how would you ever go to a sex party? And I went to my first one. And I really, I was really nervous and I liked it. And we are taking your calls about that. If you want to ask how to, what you like a sex party find out.

You can go to one, have you been? We're live in San Francisco. It's Saturday night, triple eight, 500, one, a six, nine. Are you at a sex party going to one? Do you want to go next Saturday night. Triple eight, 500, 1, or 6, 9. Are you at a sex party going to one? Do you want to go next Saturday night? So, Captain Erotica, our superhero, how do you break into a sex party community?

Well, I was saying a little earlier, I recommend a layered approach. It can be a little bit elusive, because as I said, people tend to try and have a degree of control over who's coming to the parties, because they want to have a certain environment and let people feel safe. So usually people have to get invited by someone or recommended or referred by someone. Now what I recommend to people is go to events that have to do with essential or erotic activities.

I want to mention a really amazing resource that we have that we're so lucky to have here in San Francisco, which was created by one of your other guests actually on the podcast, Carol Queen. And that's called the Center for Sex and Culture. And you can... Great resource. Yeah, it's an amazing thing that hopefully every city will have some day, but right now we're the only one that has it. And it has a library of a Rodic literature and pornography there.

And it has... The Captain of Rodic is website. That's stuff too. That's true. So anyways, so if you want to go to www.centerforsex and culture.com, you can look on their calendar and find that there's a lot of different offerings that they'll do of workshop with all different kinds. That's a great place to go to kind of mix and mingle, meet some people, and then-

But what do people feel like it's kind of more private? They're like, because this is what I want to say. I know, it's I thought I would never go to a sex party and I was nervous and it was really kind of like, open my eyes, it was an interesting experience that I've never taken. You were really anxious. You see the Emily a couple hours into it, lying on the bed

and little snuggle cuddle puddle. And it's nice. One of the things that's nice is people are allowed to be intimate. In other words, it's not like, OK, here you are, we're at the sex party. You're too weird. Now let's have intercourse. You know, that's not really what it's nice is people are allowed to be intimate. In other words, it's not like, okay, here you are at the sex party, you're here. Now let's have intercourse.

You know, that's not really what it's about for people, especially people who just met. Oftentimes people will meet people at a sex party, but not even actually have sex in them until later. So, you know, one of the things that's great though is people are allowed to be intimate with each other, because we're really not. We're all walking around in our own little space, and you're not supposed to, I mean, it's inappropriate to just touch people randomly, but in other words, our culture doesn't encourage a lot of intimacy.

So to just see people who just met a few minutes ago, kind of just cuddling on a couch, like Emily was with a very cute girl. Okay, now, yeah, we'll get back to our sex party, but do you want to know five sex parties? Do you want to go to one? Have you been to one? We're going to talk to Kara Napa.

She's always wanting to go to a sex party. to one car we're gonna talk to car a nap but she's always want to go to sex a sex party high car thanks for calling sex with Emily i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i and I see those things and I just never know how to get into that community because you know such as such a taboo subject and a lot of circles and I'm a very free and open person with any subject with people I just love learning about people and you know it's very difficult to integrate that into one's life. Right, so yeah you can just walk up to someone in the market and go hey do you know any good sex parties? That's why I'm so glad you with this question because that's a thing That's what I thought I'm like, how do you break into it? And I know the captain here. Okay, so Karri live in Napa

Yeah, well again, I think that it is an elusive thing because it's you can't just flip to the newspaper or whatever and find it The the way that I recommend to people is to try and network yourself with people who are in an erotic, positive type of community and environment. Now the options these days for us are much greater than they used to be because of the internet. So if you're able to go online and connect with someone like, you know, tribe where my profile is, is what's called a social networking service. And you can go on there and literally just by looking at someone's online profile, see that they're into stuff like that. And that's a good way to befriend people.

And then once you have a little bit of a development of relationship, you're more likely to then get extended in invitation. Because as you said, it's hard. You don't know who to put yourself out there to all the time. And you might be a little more free than the people you actually already know. But for all, you know, they have a profile on some online service where they're a little more open with themselves and then you're like, hey, look at you. Right.

I mean, a few years ago, probably, it's probably been like four years ago, before I changed my career, and went back to school, I was actually working as a teller and I did have some online things going on and I actually put an ad on it because I was in a relationship with a woman for six years And it wasn't sexually it was not right for either one of us

And that's one of the reasons why we broke up is because I was not satisfied sexually and so good for you Yeah, I mean for two years. I didn't really date anybody. I did a couple girls a couple of guys But I didn't really have any sex with these people. And then I just decided, you know what? I'm gonna put an ad online, and I'm gonna call it sexual healing, and I'm gonna see what I get. And I got like 300 responses.

Wow. Ad. And I actually met a guy who was 13 years older than me, and it was one of the best experiences I ever had. What happened? Well, he and I met and of course went to coffee and then he took me out to dinner. We talked for about a week on the phone. We went out to dinner and then he said, we want to go for a drive and I said, sure.

And then I said, I had the most erotic time I had ever had before with somebody because I just relaxed because I had a perfect woman. I'm a big woman, but I'm a perfect woman i'm i'm i'm a big woman but i'm a beautiful woman as well you know i'm shaped well and he found that very erotic because i was so confident myself that is everything it is everything car that that is everything and i'd like to just offer that um you are perfect because you know not to sound cliche about everybody's perfect but it really is true and it's a matter of that it's not about how you might be judged by a society at large, but how you're judged by the individuals you're interacting with.

And this guy, you know, responding to your ad of sexual healing, right? Not like I want to have sex with someone I don't know, but sexual healing. Obviously that that was a great idea because I attracted a certain kind of person who appreciated you for who you are not who you are relative to what Vogue says you should be or what have you. So car the next step could be a sex party then. Exactly. And I would love to do that. I mean I've actually been invited to the sex club in San Francisco a couple of times but I didn't feel comfortable with that person. I've never met anybody who's been to a sex party. You know actually I know of one that happens up in that area in Sonoma County, kind of in the Sebastopol area. And so I don't know what the medium here of radio

if we're allowed to get your information or if you want to just find me on Trips. Just go to Captain Eradica. All right, find your website. www.tribe.net. And now their new homepage has a search function on the top. Just type in Captain Space, E erotica and you'll find me and if you if you write me there I'd be happy to get your invitation to that party so

that you can go and expand yourself a little bit really a super here this is a best party is fantastic to you because it's done in a I want to go a private home and it's very very it's the one I called in from actually on your show he called in a few weeks ago is vlogging people it's a really really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sex parties you know it's a thing important to differentiate between what is an orgy versus what is i agree okay do you want to do that for us so you're saying you know where you want us to do that for you well i think i could just do both i i think a play party

is where uh... where somebody actually probably sponsors the party and uh... and has a theme to it and also uh... provides the same sex supplies to make sure that people play uh... and has a theme to it and also uh... provides the safe sex supplies to make sure that people play uh... with consensually have you been to say that you you've been to this party this kind of party or yeah a long time ago they used to have these mother goose parties and uh... and they uh... had monitors and also that the community where they

kind of made sure that you practice safe sex and all a safer sex and also that there was a consensuality involved. And also the differences in orgy is where friends get together or people get together after a bar or something or as part of a community and just have sex. And so it's not as responsible as an actual sponsored party. Yeah, I agree with what you're saying, Barry. I think that there is definitely a wide range of different styles of these types of events and some of them do focus on promoting safe sex.

Some of them are amongst groups of people that all know each other, which you know, qualifying more as an orgy. But there are orgy's that need people to use safe sex because there are people who are consciously saying, hey, let's like all have sex, we all know each other, but let's not spread disease as well. So it can be a blend of the two types of things that you're describing because some events are private.

Some of them are what I'll call semi-private, where most people know each other, but some strangers are up. Yeah, Barrett you looking for to go to sex party You just wanted to make sure we knew the difference between an orj and a sex party Well, I'm looking for pipe parties too. Okay. Well catch. Okay. I can't get in touch with the captain. Thanks for calling sex with Emily We are talking to the captain or Otica and you're listening to Sex with Emily on 1069 Free FM. One of the things that we wanted to talk about is how do you prepare for a sex party? Let's say you've already gotten through the part of finding the party and you have someone

you want to go with, let's say, and you know, you're thinking, okay, well, what am I going to, I've never been, how can I get ready so that I go and have a positive experience? So just a couple of things that I wanted to talk to people about with that is that first of all, make sure you set some parameters and have clear communication with your partner. So don't just kind of go before you go, but you have to go with a partner. Well, you don't always, but generally speaking, especially if you're going for your first time, yes, you're probably going to have to go with a partner lover or playmate as I like to call it playmate. Yes, a playmate meeting. You might not necessarily have some sort of ongoing relationship or romance. Right. This is right. Okay. so you got to get it clear. I mean we're talking about sex parties

We're talking to Captain Rattaka. We want to know what do you want to know about sex parties? Have you been and do you want to know how to break into that Break into that world and I'm the captain can help you. He took me to my first sex party. I never thought I'd go Give us a call triple eight Five hundred one six nine. I want wanna go to another sex party with you. Okay, well I'm sure we can arrange that. I would certainly love to take you and I know that you'll have a really good time. I wish you had come to the one that we did last time

that I did the ice bar act, because that one was amazing. See, one of the things that actually Barry kind of brought this up is that there's some of these parties, people go really off with the theme. The one that I went to recently had a theme that also included raw foods and there was like dance, dance performances that happened and people, oh so lavish and beautiful that it was really nice. So definitely you need

to get that. I think that's a thing that we're talking about and we were talking right now, how do you prepare for this expert because you know it's if you've never been. Couple quick thing, just for people to think about. So you want to have a nice outfit. Don't go showing up in some shabby clothes, you know. But that if you go to the safe way and you're trying to pick up shit, you should wear a nice outfit. But anyway, it's a good point. Good shoes, man.

You're like your shoes. We look at that. Make sure that you bring condoms if you want to be playing with people you don't know. And are we getting a nearer group here? Okay, well, we'll have to come back to that. Yeah, we're coming back. We're getting ready for sex parties.

Do you want to go to sex party? You want to get invited? We're talking about them. Triple eight, 500, 1069, sex with Emily. We'll be back. Let's see. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Okay, you're listening to Sex with Emily on 106-9, free FM. It's Saturday night. We're live in San Francisco. And we're saving the world one orgasm at a time and our guest saves them multiple orgasms at a time We are talking to Captain Erotica And we're talking about sex parties. We've talked about how do you Break into the sex party world. I'd never been to a sex party and he took me to my first one And it was actually really fun. I was nervous and he's kind of

Tons few want to go to a sex party. What do you do? What if you wanna have your own sex party? Give us a call. He can answer all your questions. Triple eight, 500, 106, nine. And we are talking to Zavi and Napa, Zavi, eh? Yeah. You want to know the best way to get into sex parties, huh? Yeah, I was actually, I think it's great

what you guys are doing. I just wanted to say that's awesome and I just caught your idea tonight. and I had been living in the city And I always wondered how to get into that and you've called the right place. Yeah, I just thought it was pretty sweet But you guys are doing that so have you found it helpful what we said so far about I know we went our ego-start now Everything has been cut down. Are you really diled into what you're into and you guys know what you're doing So I'm glad you had a great time Emily and Kevon and I really diled into what you're into and you guys know what you're doing.

So I'm glad you had a great time Emily. Thanks. I did. I can't stop talking about it. He's a super, he's a superhero. So how can we help him here? Captain, are we going to help you? And how can the captain help you?

We got everything's been good so far. I've got the resource you talked about. It's sexinorvid.com for the center for sex and culture. Yeah. So I'm ready to start like researching for that and I was just doing anything else it's kind of build relationships is what I've gotten understand is to meet people and understand that's the best way I've talked to some people before in the city when I was

living there when I was going to school and they said that's the best way to is to it was pretty private yeah pretty exclusive to have good ones at least. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what I'm curious What makes you want to go to a sex party? So we haven't asked anybody that. That's a good question I'm a sexual person of course, you know, we all enjoy sex So it's definitely not a bad thing But I had when I lived in the city before I did kind of a bad experience with a girl who took me to the power stage And was such an awful horror. Yeah, see, this is, that's a really good point.

I'm so good to work that up because people think, oh, power, I thought, to be honest, yeah, that's what they think it is. I thought that too, like power change. I'm not going to do that. So that's talk about, that's a really bad thing. Well, see, the thing about, here's the basic thing about power change that's a little challenging as twofold is one, it's an open club for anyone to go to and it's one of the only places you can go to and pay money in public and have some sort of

Sexual experience so people go there Whether or not they're actually interested in power exchange itself And I'm not even gonna get into what that is We'll be back for that but basically that the interesting thing about power exchanges that they'll let in Men who are just going there to be warriors and so you can go to power exchange and you're standing there having this experience and there's like a hundred guys in towels standing around watching you. That's the biggest nightmare.

If that's what you think a sex party is not you, but if one thinks that, it can really throw you off to be like, that's the really don't want that to happen. Yeah, it seemed to be like this girl's outlet and that's what she wanted. I mean, the vor thing was fun. I'm comfortable with all that and people, I just, I like the idea of a more private

Yeah, yeah, it's that it's We'll be comfortable with one another. Yeah, and also power actually just very cold and edgy I mean in other words, it's about SNM and stuff like that So there's like chain like fences and like it's all black and you know cages around and stuff Whereas like you know by contrast the party that Emily and I went to was like in this house where there was like you know Fabric on the ceiling and The the party that Emily and I went to was like in this house where there was like you know fabric on the ceiling and bad to the middle of the living room. It was fleshing and stuff.

And pools and hot tubs and happy. And it's nice because it softens the energy of people because we can get a little edgy when we're kind of like okay I want to have sex and I'm trying to meet someone and that can be a little anxious making sense. That's kind of like one person can spread tension throughout the world. Yeah that's good. Well I hope you find a good sex party. Maybe we'll see you there.

Thanks for calling sex with Emily. So how can you, I mean this is a good thing like people Maybe we'll see you there. Thanks for calling Sex with Emily. So how can you, I mean, this is a good thing. Like, people, how would you host Captain Erradica? We're talking about sex parties. We're talking everything you ever know on it. Everything you ever want to know about sex parties, but we're afraid to ask. And it's, we're taking your calls,

triple eight, 500, 1069. Captain Erradica, what if you want to have your own sex party? Oh, very easy to have your own sex party. Yeah, of course. So the first step to having your own sex party? Oh, very easy to have your own sex party. Is it? Yeah, of course. See, okay. So the first step to having your own sex party is to be able to admit to people that you know that you want to have a sex party.

See, see. In other words, like just like our friend who called from Napa, she was saying, oh, I'm very liberal, but I don't know about men. The people I know, you know. So you have to be a little bit risky and brave if you want to try and create this. So to have a sex party, you need to have a nice environment. So you need to create your home in a place to have a sex party, you need to have a nice environment. So you need to create your home in a place

that's going to be conducive towards people having sexual experiences. You know, you can't have one in the kitchen. I mean, people do do it, but you want to have like pillows in the house. People are having sex in the kitchen. But the point is, is that if you want to make one for yourself, you should look to your house and say,

how can I make this a comfortable, sensual space, lighting and music and all these sorts of things. But the steps that you really need to take also in that are to find the people who are going to be comfortable coming and having those experiences. Now there's two sort of paths you can take. You can try and see who you know already might be like that by being brave and bringing it up because I encourage everyone out there to be able to feel comfortable talking about what you want because you deserve to get what you want.

So now if you don't believe that your friends are going to be able to hang with this or handle it, then you need to go out and do some networking and meet some new friends and get together with them and say, hey, you guys are new friends and you're into sex, let's make a party. And I just want to say this about people you know, first of all, we all know that everyone's thinking about sex, right? We're just not talking about it. But like I said, I was like the last person. I thought we'd go to, well, not the last person, but I didn't think I'd go to a sex party

as readily. And I actually, one of the awkward moments person. I thought, well, not the last person. But I didn't think I'd go to a sex party as readily. And I actually, one of the awkward moments, one of the only moments for me was, I actually ran into a few people I knew there that you never think would be a sex party. Yeah, it was funny, in fact, she ran into someone and they're like, hey, where are that couple that you saw?

Oh, my God. And we showed you my penis piercing. Oh, but those people, those people, I thought would be a sex party. Oh, my God, that's a great story. I forgot about that. I was really thought. No, those weren't even who I was talking about.

I had this cut. Oh God, that's another story. They took me into the bathroom at a party, like this nice party. They're like, do you want to see my husband's piercings? And then they were the sex party. I'm like, well, of course, that couple will be at the sex party.

But these are people I had worked, the other people I'm talking about, who I work with, and like, oh, you're in a sex. So it's like people, I think, are more... Yeah, people are very open up. When you go there and you see people that you know, of course everyone just smiles and goes, how wonderful, you know, oh, haha, because like you pointed out earlier, we're all thinking about it, but not really talking about it.

Exactly. That's why we have this show. That's why Captain Erotica is a superhero because we're all thinking about it. And we all, this is what the show is about tonight. Captain Erotica helps people. He literally goes in and he swoops in and saves people's sex lives and helps them with their sex lives in a single bound or two bounds.

He couples, individuals, people, Hiram or talk to him or email him and he helps them because we all kind of get into little rats. I'll give you an example. I got a letter on Tribe the other day and someone wrote me and said, you know, dear Captain Rottica, I am a number of years old. I've had a fantasy where I wanted to live out a certain experience and I've never ever

been able to do it. Can you help me figure out how I could go about finding someone who I can do? In this case, this person wanted to be submissive. So without going to- Does a man? No, it was a woman. So without going into the details of what they wanted, they said, well, I'd like to have this experience, but I can't find anybody who I would trust enough to do this.

So then I wrote back saying, well, here's some resources and some websites you can look at in a way to go about it and kind of just gave her a little bit of a thumbs up. And then she wrote back and she said, okay, you know what? I'm just going to quit messing around. I want you to do it. And so you really did you buy your case? And no, I don't wear a case. I've seen the incredible. Come on. You can't sweep with it. I want to get you a case. No, a case. Okay. Anyway, so the thing that happened in this case was, you know, here's someone who is writing to me is someone who I'm not

inherently going to be attracted to or want to have an experience with just on my own accord per se. And this is why I said Okay, I know that I can give them this experience and so I went and traveled actually great distance and went to the person's home and gave them this Experience just so that they could have the experience in a positive way and then be able to go I mean They literally wrote in their first letter. I do not want to go to my grave not having experience Can you tell us a little bit about this fantasy? Because that's what we're going to be. We're moving.

We can get into that, but it was a very basic, dominant submission fantasy that said, I want to be in a sexual context and give up the power or choice to make the decision of what's going to happen in this experience. And so we're going to set some parameters and boundaries. Again, I'm giving the super quickie version of this, and I'm almost hesitant to do so because it's a pretty It's not a miss to no no not that but more that it's a very involved topic and I don't want to you know Oh, Dominant Yeah, exactly. So we're going into we're moving into fantasies. Yeah, so it does apply to that

It does but in this case it was very simple I mean we outlined the parameters what is allowed what isn't allowed and within that parameter, this person agreed to the very basic rule of dominant submission, which is the submissive degrees to do with the dominant says, and if they don't want to do with the dominant says, they use what's called safe word, and then they stop everything. Right. So that's, so that's an example of how you help women men with their fantasies. Yes, I hope. And it's sex parties, and you have couples. Yeah. I have a professional practice that I call erotic coaching. It's based on a life coaching modality

where you just have someone in your life that can help you to achieve your goals, give you resources, make you a plan to get what you want. I do an erotic version of this and it's a process that helps people to figure out what they want and help them give the resources to how to get. Like a life coach, but for your sex life.

So I do that professionally, but also like in this case, I didn't charge this person for that. That was just something where I like touched my heart. You know, and I thought, okay, I can't think of this person going to their grave, not living their fantasy. That's terrible. You're gonna get hundreds of emails tonight. Everyone's gonna say, okay, we will.

I don't want to go to my grave right now. I should have used that line on you because I've got some fantasies. We're talking about. You don't need to, Emily. We know that. Oh, really? Okay. Well, we are. I should have used that line on you because I've got some fantasies. We're talking about- You don't need to, Emily. We know that. Oh, really?

Uh-oh. Okay. Well, we are. He makes me flush Captain Erotica. That's just rare. Triple eight, 500, 1069. Captain Erotica is an erotica coach. He will answer all of- he's a Rodic Superhero.

He can answer all of your erotica. He's helped. I mean, this is the thing. Like, I was like, okay, well, erotic superhero. He has really helped people if you go to his website. I've met people who he's actually touched their lives in a lot of different ways. Men, women, and you can talk to Captain Erotica. We're going to talk about fantasies. Fantasy. So, fantasies. We started to talk about this. It is a big topic because everybody's got

some sort of fantasies, would you say? Yeah, absolutely. I define fantasy as what you think about that turns you on either in your mind or in your genitals, either way, or sometimes if you're lucky both. And fantasy can be something you've already done and then you still fantasize about it, or it can be something and often this is the case and how people use it as a word is something that you haven't quite done yet. So, and fantasy can apply to anything. The breadth of people's fantasy lives is so astoundingly large that the average person can't even really comprehend the amount of things that people think about when they think about sexual thoughts. So really, fantasy is something that, you know,

depending on who the individual person is, maybe something that's really challenging for them, you know, like this woman who wrote me, she had been thinking and fantasizing and masturbating about this fantasy of submitting to someone for years and years and years and never been able to actually living it out. Right. So this is so worth so they come to you and they know, no point in today. There's so many puns on a section.

Yes. But they come to you and they can people kind of repress them sometimes or they're email you and you'll help them. The most common thing is people don't why are fantasies important? Well, fantasies are very important because, as you often talk right on the show, sex can become paternistic or people can fall into a rut of, okay, well, this is how it keeps you out. Yeah, very, very frequently. And as you pointed out, even if it doesn't happen right away, you know, go 10 years into any relationship and you're going to find, okay, well, we've been doing this for a long time.

So, fantasy is in the realm of the mind. And the mind can think about anything it wants. So when you tap into taking the things that you think about in your mind and making them real, what you do is you open up and broaden your opportunities for sexual experiences with your partner. Like a sex party, your sexual fantasies, all this stuff. So you know anything. I mean, we're talking to Captain Arradica and about how do you make? We're all gonna fall into this sexual right? And I'm sorry, this is blanket. Anyone can call me about this in erratica and about how do you make we're all going to fall into this sexual

right and I'm sorry this is blanket anyone can call me about this anytime I want people who are still having really good sex after several years five years together but anyway that's the goal of the show what we try to do how can you mix up that sex life because everyone's so shocked they're sex slice falling apart and they did her husband rather your husband rather serve porn then I'm have sex so anyway here's some shocked, they're sexless falling apart and they do her husband rather, your husband rather surf porn Then I'm have sex. So anyway, here's some practical things. We're focusing on fantasies though right now How do you get your partner to realize your fantasy? How do you express what your fantasy is? What's your fantasy? Give us a call. Let us know.

Triple eight five hundred one oh six nine if you don't know your fantasy captain or radical help you get there and That's what we're talking about. Sexual fantasies. We'll be back. Let us know what you think. Triple 8-500-FM Touch the freedom Touch the freedom Touch the freedom

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