Sex With Emily - SWE: Sex Tips from a Dominatrix

Episode Date: November 9, 2012

Get dominated by Sarah Miller, Emily's sex school classmate who happens to be a Pro- Dominatrix. Emily talks about getting naked in class, BDSM, and breast orgasms (they really do exist). Emily also talks about sex, drugs, and alchol. For a follow-up lesson on BDSM, check out Sex Tips from a Dominatrix II. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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so you'll never miss another sex with Emily show. As you know, we're doing more shows now. We're doing three to four shows a week. This is what we call a quickie episode. And I'm so excited to have my guest here, Sarah Miller. Hi, Sarah. Hi. Hi. That's where it here, Sarah Miller. Hi, Sarah. Hi.

That's her sexy love. Sarah I met in sex school. And as you know, I'm in grad school right now for sex. And Sarah is one of my buddies from class. She is a dominatrix. She is into a lot of kinky stuff. And she's going to talk to us about it right now. And at first, I want to start with,

oh, first we have a word for my advertiser. Adam and Eve. Okay, so as you know, I could never ever have enough sex toys. So whenever there's a huge discount, I totally jump at the chance to get that toy. So any toy you've been wanting to get, attach you magic wand, even a pocket rocket, whatever, Sarah, what's your favorite sex toy?

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So just take it down to this deal and finally buy that sex toy already, please. Okay, Sarah, what up? I love Sarah. Okay, so Sarah, tell me about, okay, so tell me, so you, how do you identify sexually? Sexually. Sexually. You know, all I'm composing, I'm a queer feminist pervert.

Okay. That's all I identify. Got it. So you're with men, women. I'm with, yeah. Everyone. Everyone. Okay.

Pretty much. Hopefully. So let's go back in time. What was your first sexual memory experience? The first time you remember getting turned on? First time I remember getting turned on. Or just having a sexual feeling. Yeah, when I was really, really little, either like watching TV, I don't know, I remember, I remember masturbating probably when I was like either fifth grade or younger. I don't know. Hold that. It's how I like, you know, like, you know, like 10 or 9 something. No, and then you masturbated into juvenile orgasm.

Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. You did just by touching yourself. Mm-hmm. Bitch. So, and then you, um, so clitorally or did you? Oh, yeah. Well, see, I could, you know, when you were a kid, like, you could touch yourself outside of your underwear and have an orgasm Yeah, it's incredible. Yeah, I heard about that That didn't happen to me, but so you remember that and then where you with when did you have sex intercourse PV sex whatever you sex. Yeah, what if I was a tip Tip of a tip of you know, you know how you used to like be like oh, here's the tip out

So that first time yeah, I think I was like 15. You were 15. Yeah. Was it a good experience? Just a tip? Oh, yeah. Well, it was really hot. And yeah, it was really hot. It was just a guy. It was a guy. Obviously, because it was a tip. Yeah, it was tip with the penis. But you know, it's like, it's kind of like, I was sticking it. Oh, no, not really. You know, right. Yeah. At the back and forth, I'm ready to do it. Well, it was, it was just a kind of hurt. And so that's when you knew you went a little bit far,

you were like, I don't know, whatever. Right, okay. So, and then what about, so when did you first experiment with women? I think I've always been a little bit playfully with like playful with women. Though I did miss out on the, I told you, like I missed out on the hot little sex

scapades of little girls. Probably the first kiss, my first kiss with a chick was probably when I was 15, too, actually. Oh, okay. And then you, when did you progress? So that was awesome. That was awesome. That was awesome.

I was bragging about it. I was like, guys, look at what we're doing. We're girls, and we're kissing, huh? Like, yeah. And how did your family feel about it? Did they know? Oh, they don't care. They don't care about anything.

They're just kind of accepting you for. No, no, no. There's a difference between accepting and just not giving a shit about it. Exactly. Because your life is, I mean, you're really, so where do you live? Denver. Denver, you live in Denver. And so for living, you've been a pro-dom in A-Tricks.

And what else do you do? You do education. I do victim advocacy. I do yet gynecologic teaching, so I teach medical students how to do pelvic and breast exams. And they do my kneel. Yeah, so I get hundreds of exams. She must be really healthy. You must have a really healthy pelvic area. I mean, I've been checking, oh, this is, here's part of the reason I've been doing so many self-examples. We were just talking about doing, looking at our own post-easier, whatever, because I encountered our ad partner who has genital works.

So I've been looking like every day just to like, because I'm kind of a little freaked out. Did you just find out that she or he? You just find out that he had him. He didn't tell you or? No, or actually, she, sorry actually she sorry she oh you forgot oh god Oh, I need to get spanked for messing with the pronoun. No, it's gonna gender. So male-bodied female identified Okay, but not trans it's anyway

Yeah, so no no I knew no I knew um but So you've been checking yeah, okay. Thank God. So okay, so let's talk about sex with women Okay, let's talk about you what okay, so God. So, okay, so let's talk about sex with women. Okay, let's talk about you. What, okay, so what do you think, what have you learned about women's bodies? Like what's it like, what's it like a tip that you can give? For example, performing oral sex. Is there only like special things that you could teach someone

if they want to know about how I always feel like men could learn a lot from women? Oh, for sure. Point down another woman. Like, what are some tips that you've got? You know what though? Here's the thing is that I can tell you a lot of stuff based on the things that I've gotten done to me.

But sometimes when you get like a post on your face, it's like you get stage fright. Sometimes. You never... You get stage fright, yeah. No, I don't. Okay, crap. I'm digging a hole now. But I have.

There's been times where I've been like, shit. Oh, fuck. I think that a lot of men feel that. Well, because women are so drastically different from each other. So I have, you know, there's women who love to get, like, their clitorial, like, their clitorist sucked, or like, flicked, or, you know, hit, or whatever. So I think, you know, I personally love, if somebody's doing oral sex,

what do you like? Getting finger to the same time. So love it. Finger and l finger to the same time. So, I love it. Finger and licking at the same time. Yeah. And don't just, I don't know, don't just kind of like lick, like don't just kind of lick with your tongue, like get all up in there, you know,

stick your face in there, nose, everything, just rub it all. Right, that's good. Okay, what else? Like you love it. Okay, so finger's good. So you could have like a, do you orgasm, how do you orgasm?

Cauturally or G spot or both? Yeah, both. Yeah, they're different for me. So I can calm a lot with like you know with G spots emulation. I can ejaculate which is a different sensation than calming which is a different sensation than like little orgasms. So a little orgasm I can be spent like I can be satisfied but I can come multiple times from G-spot stimulation, but I'm not fully satisfied yet. I hate. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.

But I can have multiple clearer orgasms in a row, but if I can also have just one and be like cool. Right. Okay. Got it. So what about the female ejaculation that comes up a lot in the show? You taught yourself how to do it or you learned, you think that you learned more through our class?

Well, no, no, no. I know. I've seen a lot about female ejaculation. You know, like, you know, just, no, no. No, it's like knowing a lot about female generation, like, you know, practicing and practicing. And you're always kind of like, you always try for it. And it's always like, oh, it's just not happening.

So we did our class and we got naked. And there's a lot of... We talk about this in the next show that you'll hear, we're gonna get into class more. Yeah, yeah. But like, we got rid of our body image issue. So anything, you know, like if I felt like I was fat or whatever, like I got over it.

And when I went home, I actually also had a couple new partners, so that might have been it as well. And some experienced partners, but having that total, you know, freedom, and none of those inhibitions, you know, like I wasn't scared about how I looked or whatever, whatever. And I just like, oh, and I was a partner who was very talented and I just ejaculated like buckets. It was great. Yeah. And now I can do it. I've actually,

I've had two different partners who have made me ejaculate on command. It's so weird. It's how you mean I'm weird shit. Like three to one now. And I will like with stimulation, like they'll be stimulating me and they're like, okay, and you're going to do it right now. Oh. Like, you can feel it when it's starting to be up, but I mean, the actual room. I did a lot that comes out, right? It's like, what's the...

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. And it does exist, yeah, I know. No, I can't let it all exist. It can be a lot, yeah. Yeah, no, I've had that experience. I mean, I know what you're talking about. Okay, so what about, so personally, for you, what would you say is like, the thing that turned you on

the most of you had anything? If you had to be like, God, that was early. If you think back to your most, how does sex experience improve your money? What do you think? There's a few, I guess. There's a lot of things. I love. Yeah, a lot is good.

I love group sex. Group sex. How many people on the group? The more the barrier, the more the barrier. We've been having orgies at my house every Friday. Really? So yeah, about anywhere from three to six, seven people. And then how does that exactly break down? How does that work? I remember an orgie was sick.

I remember. Well, I mean, well, so yeah, I mean, it can be, it usually we start out with like, you know group massage and things like that. So we'll all need to move massage one person. And then it just kind of gets freaky and freaky from there. So for instance, like, we had, okay, so we had a new woman actually come, this last time or whatever that we did it. And so a guy was going, was eating her out while I was fingering her.

And somebody was fingering me the same time. And then other people were just kind of like rubbing up on us or doing whatever. And then when that kind of broke up then you know Two girls got on one guy or whatever on the couch and then I was fucking somebody else while they were like you know, so it's kind of and you're with man and women Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay, and it's all the same. It's all it feels good. Oh, it's totally flew it's it's crazy It's it's yeah, it's absolutely fluid. It's all just about the and pleasure. It doesn't matter who's doing it. That's amazing that you can do that. A lot of people are not able to do that. So they're men of gay men.

There are. They're actually... Yeah, I have a friend, the queen to my king, to me being the king, is gay. And I was actually his most cisgender experience like his closest Female identified female-bodied experience what happened? What did you do? Well, I actually was fucking his knee While he was getting butt fucked on top of me. Wow, and amazing and no, and I've sucked a stick And stuff like that, so okay, and then did you orgasm? No, no, yeah, okay, not a little bit. And then did you orgasm? No.

No. Not a little bit. You've crazy life there in Denver. That's not so bad. Okay, we talked about this a little bit, but you're, so you're pro-dom and you get, like, I picture you, like, in the vinyl and doing things. And so, and it's men, is it the kind, oh, no, no, this way I want to talk about, because we talk about this actually a little later, but on your personal life,

your personal relationships that you're in, are you always in the power play, are you doing that? No, no, no. And that's the thing I think personally, if there's so many times where I just crave, just get me, like just let's just block, regular good old sex. And I think other people are actually put off

more by me doing being so kinky that they feel like they have to step it up and make a kinky year or something. But then sometimes if I wanna be kinky, they don't know how to be, it's really, it's kind of annoying to find the balance of things. Sometimes I'm like,

Well, there's probably a lot of expectations like looking at you, knowing you, being like, oh, she's expecting this. And so there's more of that organic and fluid. Yeah, or they're expecting me to dominate them when I'm like, no, just, okay here's I'm gonna dominate you like sit there and I don't know, you know like it's yeah, there's a lot of expectation and I don't know um but there there is a lot of good stuff and like you know I don't know I think most of my sexual

experiences I probably have face-lapping and spitting and spanking. Are you doing the face the spitting and the face-lapping? It's mutual, you know. Mutual. And it turns you on. So explain that to me. So explain to me like, if someone slaps you, where? It turns you on. Um, uh, spanking, I think is probably the thing.

Spanking. It turns you on the most, yeah. Sometimes like getting your tits hit. Sometimes, um, I really like to wrestle. So of course, I can, the number one fantasy for women is right, right, right, right, fancy. Um, so I definitely, I do really like one fantasy for women is right fancy. So I definitely I do really like the power play. I love wrestling.

If that it's kind of crazy. Yeah. That's hot with women and men. Whoever. Yeah, whoever. Well, with men mostly with women, it's weird. I feel like I just have more respect for women.

No, not respect. But I care more like about not hurting women in general. That's kind of weird. That's not true, actually. I can't do, but I definitely got more. Can we break it down? We've done it all. We've done it all.

Right. It just depends on the chicks. Sometimes they all dominate me. So Sarah and I are in this class together. We talk about in the next show, what you'll listen to is that. But we talk about our class and all the stuff that we've had to do. So everyone in class, like, I mean, everyone comes and brings their different perspective, but is everyone like sleeping together too that I don't know about? No.

No. I feel like I'm surprised there's not like a class or a deer or anything. Well, there has been, and I understand. That's it. Not like an entire class or a deer. We've definitely done sexual plans, stuff like that with each other in different ways. They're not as much as I would expect, most of the chicks in our class,

unfortunately, are monogamous relationships or their hetero. So I've had a lot of chicks who are kind of like, ooh, Sarah, you know, maybe not. Maybe and they're like, click teasing me and it's kind of, it's unknowable. I like that. You guys, stop it.

Stop click teasing Sarah. Hold out. Okay, so what would be your, if you had to tell men, like, what would you think of the men that you've been with? Are there any things that repeatedly happen that you're like, I wish that guys wouldn't do blank. Like, what do you think they need to know?

If you could send a message to all men in the world. All men in the world. Communicate. Just communicate. Just ask what you need to ask. Tell what you need to tell and communicate. Sexually. Ever. Yeah, sexually. If you want to stick something in my ass, just ask. Just ask what you need to ask tell what you need to tell and communicate sexually ever yeah sexually if you want to if you want to stick

Something in my ass just ask just ask don't do it just ask yeah, just I mean that's the thing is it's never okay That would be I think number one is yeah communication. I mean tell me what you want scream I would say communication is lubrication. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's perfect that and put a condom on just put a condom Put a condom on that freaking hard, on. It's not that freaking hard. Right. That's the sexiest thing. It's so sexy to me when it's like, I'm gonna put this condom on. You know, you can. Oh, right. Hafty, you have to use condoms. People don't, people, it's amazing. There was a study that came out last week that said like American studies condoms. It's disgusting. And it's, it's a bit of a concern if I had a guy recently who emailed me and he was like, you know, I just condom suck and you know, I responded just like, no, they don't.

They fucking wrong. I hate when guys are like condoms are bad. They hurt their- I feel, yeah, I can't feel anything. That's you can. Right, right, that's a good one. Anything else for men? So what about men and what about,

okay, we talked about oral sex. Is there anything, what about when you're with a woman? Is there anything a woman can do that really turned you on or that you, you're gonna turn off or on? I think, I think assertiveness, like assertiveness and being kind of like, not necessarily aggressive, but sex is, I mean, sex is like running a marathon.

It should be like, you should be tired afterwards. Like you should, you should be able to have sex for a couple of hours and just have some endurance. Every time. Oh, yeah, put some work into it. It's got time. I'm so busy. You don't even look at your pussy.

That's how busy. You need to come on. I mean, but put some- I look at it sometimes. That was one of our homework assignments. We had to look at our vagina and take a picture or draw it and stuff, which is interesting for sex school. Okay.

So, and you're also, we got into this more- Oh, that many tricks. So you do that and you do the dumb and I want to see you adjust up in your car. Sure. Do it with you. Um, I have a course of with me, but I don't have much. I have stuff online. I can show you some pictures online and stuff. Oh, I'd love to see it. Okay. Why don't you check? Where can they find you? Which website? Um, or which of us? I don't know what to say. Yeah, but for, I mean, for that kind of stuff, I'd say Lady Bandita, um, on FetLife. FetLife. It will picture you

on the site. Oh, well, we really learned to picture here. Okay, everyone. Well, thank you so much, Sarah, for joining me and sharing your sexual exploits. And thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. You've been listening to Sex with Emily with your host, Emily Morris. Have a question about sex relationships or anything in between. Email Emily at feedback at sexwithemily.com. Want to add Emily to your Facebook or Twitter page? Visit Emily's website, sexwithemily.com, where you'll also find the latest sex with Emily

News and podcasts. Archive Podcasts can be downloaded from iTunes. From the Stitcher Studios in beautiful San Francisco, California, you've been listening to Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Remember, your biggest sex organ is your brain, so learn something new to do that. Click on the Suclair Institute ad on my website and check out their adult sex education DVDs,

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