Sex With Emily - SWE: She's Never Had An Orgasm

Episode Date: December 12, 2013

My new intern who has never had an orgasm talks about her sexual experiences thus far. I give her (and all the men in her rotation) advice on how to achieve orgasm. And not just any orgasm- a delicious cocktail of clitoral and G-spot stimulation. Women are sold the fantasy from the time they're young that "someday my prince will come and I'll come too." Forget the prince in shining armor and get a shiny new vibrator. Use coupon code EMILY for 15% off at Good Vibrations: www.sexwithemily.com/goodvibes. and get a vibrator for yourself or the woman you're trying to please. Also, why does everyone break up during the holidays? Why doesn't everyone just masturbate all the time? And how to introduce anal sex into your relationship without being a pain in the ass. Special Discounts: use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off at crazygirlproducts.com, and coupon code EMILY for 20% off my Aromatherapy Massage Candle and DownUnder Comfort at Emilyandtony.com. Also, check out my new vibrator store: www.sexwithemilyovo.com/!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, I'm Emily from Sex with Emily. Good vibrations carries the hottest toys and vibes. I love the Jeju Mimi because it's discreet yet powerful and great for couple sex. Find out how much pleasure your body can really handle. Use coupon code Emily for 15% off at GoodVibes.com Eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

The world's got everything. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I feel so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information. Go to sexwithemily.com. When you can listen to all of our podcasts,

you can also subscribe on iTunes. And when you do that, you can also give us a review like, you know, I don't know, five stars, something like that. Something like that, something like five stars. And then you can tell your friends, you can share the link, you could like us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, it's all sex with Emily. Thank you, everyone, for listening to the show.

And thanks to my listeners for emailing me all your questions at feedback at sexwithemily.com. I love hearing from you and I do read all your emails and keep them coming, please. Tonight's show is going to be awesome. I'm here with Anderson. Hey, sex. Hey, Anderson. How you doing, baby? Hey, how are you? I'm good. We're here at the Love Line Studio. Hey, I got an idea for you. Uh-oh, what? You know, I got a lot, a lot of sex toys hanging out in your garage all lonely. Yeah, what's the holidays? You want one? No. Oh, but I think you should go somewhere where there's a bunch of single ladies with like a sack full of them.

I'm being like Santa of sex toys. You could be like Santa Cruz. Santa Cruz. Yeah. And you can just like start flinging them out to everybody. Okay. I should do that for YouTube because we did that a few years ago in San Francisco.

We went to the Giants game and it it wasn't, it was for Easter though. I had an Easter basket filled with toys. And I went up to a lot of people at the Giants game. It was so much easier. Well, you dressed as a bunny. I was not dressed as a bunny. Come on. I should have been, you're right.

That's actually better. I should have been. But I was like, do you know what this is? And they'd pull stuff out. And I asked them, like, they had like a tank of masturbation sleeve that comes in the egg and like the mask blow job strips and like, no one knew it. They like random people. I catch them them and they didn't know what they were

But I'm not picturing someone like handing into their kids saying is it a toy? I tried not to talk to it lightsaber, but like I feel I feel like that is an idea and people I when I said that on the show that I had so many to give away I got so many emails from my listeners And I would love to give away but the problem is is a lot of you artists out of the country first of all and the postage and the mailing and the thing it's exciting. Don't ever offer to give stuff away. People love free stuff even if they don't want it. Honestly, I will give away toys.

I will but I can't give away everything in my garage. In fact, I think I've given away a lot of it. But besides that, the point is I want to give you also something. Maybe if you set me a self-addressed stamped envelope for like ten bucks. You know what another great video would be? What? An Emily garage sale. I was gonna do that too. That'd be a fun video watching the people come buying like root through all your dildos.

Yeah, that would be fun. How much for this one? How much for this one? You get that for 250, 250 cents. We should do that. They're all from a lot of them from Good Vibes. If you like sex toys, go to GoodVibes.com. Use coupon code Emily.

Okay, today's show. We're going to be reading your emails that you sent to feedback at sexwithm.com. We've got someone who wants to know about his wife doesn't initiate sex enough. Anderson is a married man. Can you relate to this? No, because I'm newly married. You're married. You don't even count.

I'll talk to you in two years. But it's true, a lot of women, the number one complaint I ever mentioned is that women do not initiate sex. That's one of them. Another one is about, oh, guess what? Anel sex. It's another favorite topic of our listeners. We got another email. Are you talking about things we're going to get to? Yeah. Okay, cool. Cause I know that Monroe's got a catch of boss on the rhythm. Oh, Monroe, okay. Oh my god. I'm so sorry.

I forgot. Monroe, I didn't forget she was here. I forgot she's at a time of straight. Okay, Monroe is god. I'm so sorry. I forgot Monroe. I didn't forget she was here. I forgot she's at a time straight Okay, Monroe is my new intern Monroe is amazing. She is 19 years old and she's been writing good I website and read the her blogs. They're amazing. It's called my journey to orgasm now Monroe I'd be very selective process We had a lot of people who applied for internship and I really like Monroe and Lindsay who's sitting in the room and and Monroe I come to find out after she's sitting in the room and and Monroe I come to find out after she's hired and she's in my house for the first meeting that she's 19 and she's never had an orgasm never had an orgasm so so so she's been writing about which is so

thank you so much for being so I did and I asked her I don't force my interns to do anything but she offered so we've been giving her sex toys and she's been writing these amazing blog posts because she hasn't had an orgasm yet. And it's journey her journey. So can you talk to me so far about your experience? Like now like working towards your orgasm? Yeah, okay. So the first time I decided to come home with the toys from Emily's garage, which is really, really filled with all kinds of toys. I was drawn to the Butterfly Cliffs. I've never... The Butterfly Kiss. Yes, this is a good vibes toy by the way which is awesome.

Goodvibes.com. Yeah, I have never used any kind of toy before in my life. I was a little bit ashamed to do masturbation and a lot of women are, which is what I found out. A lot of women are. Absolutely. And so, I started with that. I decided to go inside of the shower, which is where I go normally.

And I started to play around with it. I've been listening to the show for a little bit. So I've learned that I was supposed to try different motions, different positions, standing, sitting, et cetera, et cetera. And I almost, I almost can't sit climax for the first time, which was very, very intense. And I'm really looking forward to actually getting to the orgasm. So how did you, you felt like you were going to, then you like, stop yourself or? I felt like I was out of control like my body was twitching.

Literally. Wow. And I could no longer hold on to. Why do you have one? No, you would know. Yeah, I feel like there's a little bit more to it. It's like, you know, when you're getting towards an orgasm, you're twitching your body, you feel it. But I didn't get there because they like go and.

That's the only idea I didn't let go. I love what the next honey, you've got time. And you've got more time. We've got a new package actually from good vibes because they decided to sponsor your orgasm. Have you ever had a sponsored orgasm? So they sent her a big package her and my, my other intern of a bunch of toys that you're going to pick up my house to speak in, but it's kind of like a beginner kid.

There's a book by Sadie Allison. She wrote a book. I think it's, it's a masturbation book for women. I can't, it's something my name right now, but it's something my mind, but it's, um, it's a really good book. It's two books. I think they sent you, they sent you another butterfly kiss because I can't. It's something I name right now, but it's something I mind, but it's it's a really good book. It's two books. I think they sent you. They sent you another part of I kiss because I didn't know I gave you one and they sent you another vibrator. A few of them because they're so they just want, you know, they gave me my first.

I've got my first vibrator. Good vibes. Nice. Yes. And I went there and I and they help you and they walk you through it. So so you've had sex before. I've never had sex. So you've had intercourse, but you never did guys perform all sex and tried it. Did you try to have orgasms? I mean, obviously you did, but I would say most guys are they come first all the time for most guys. They don't really care too much to make sure that the women does orgasm because sometimes it takes women like an hour and 30 minutes to orgasm. Absolutely. It takes definitely a good amount of time. What I did learn through research and through listening and my own experiences is that most women experience,

47% of women do experience their first orgasm through masturbation, self-love. Very few percentage ever experienced it through penetration. And then another few percent, like 13% experience it through petting is what I've learned. So I decided to go the route of masturbation. Yeah, masturbation, trying to,

it's man versus machine for me right now. I know, this is what I love. You wrote man versus machine. Who's gonna get you there first? Because now you have a date, right, this weekend? I have a date this weekend. I've been having sex with this guy for a while now and he actually, he's full on committed to making sure I...

Oh my God, he wants to be the one. Yeah, does he realize he's up against the Terminator? Does he know this? Oh, you Terminator. The Terminator, I haven't given him a ride. The Terminator. Terminator is right. Exactly.

Do you see where this? He's totally aware and he thinks he's gonna be the first't given him a ride. Terminator is right. Exactly. Is he aware of this? He's totally aware. And he thinks he's going to be the first one to make a ride. Who for? Go for it. I enjoy the sex. He's very, very aggressive.

I'm a newly proclaimed submissive myself. So I'm up for the challenge. I'm going to see he's going to be there for you. I love, OK, you have to text me right after that. But I think it's interesting that what you've said is that in your also also 19 so you're sleeping with men who are in your age range. I've always been a little bit more accustomed to older men.

He's not that old. I'd say he's like 15 years older than I am. 30 is good for me. Wait a minute. Okay. So he's in his 30s. I was going to say something like 19 early 20s guys who do come quickly and who do not know that much about pleasing woman. But this guy's in his 30s.

He knows. He knows. That's the, he's the first one who's actually been dedicated to make sure I like he puts in the time. Oh, good. Okay. And he's, did you pick up on the fact that she's like he's not that much older. He's just 15 years old.

That dude, that's 35. For me, that's not that though. Okay. You mean you are very mature. You're like what? Like what's the oldest guy you ever dated? Oh, I don't want to disclose But right now I got an old gray haired man, okay, so we're going there I think probably someone he's probably two years older than him Yeah, that's not that bad the youngest guy of every day. It was probably like two years older than me

Okay, yeah, like older men. Did you have like issues with? Daddy think that you close their father, that you close with their father? I'm close with my father close enough. I do so. Yeah. Got it. So I think this is great because it is true that most women do have their first orgasm through masturbation and that it takes time is what I always say.

My friend in college took 30 days. She was like every day and it wasn't like the third week that she finally had it orgasm. And the reason why this is so important for women is because I was raised too It wasn't till my mother told me like I was like 19. I didn't orgasm. She was like, wow. This is she gave me a book and It's because We I believed that it was the man's responsibility to man orgasm. Oh, well, I'm gonna have sex and then I'll have an orgasm I didn't even it didn't even occur to me in mastery. I don't even think I knew what Mastery was. Yeah.

And I have like very liberal parents. I went to a good high school, it was public high school, but still, did not know. I mean, there wasn't shows like, sex with Emily. And so, did you think that too, or did you? I definitely thought that I thought it was about making sure that the man is thoroughly pleased. Thoroughly pleased.

And once you, I feel like once, what I'm discovering now is that you have to learn how to love yourself more and be more concerned with yourself too during sex. Absolutely. Not just completely dedicated to his pleasure. I love that you know this, Monroe. See, I didn't know this either. And I think it's funny because I thought it was my generation, but you're a generation too. Yeah.

I believe too is all about the man and looking good and like make sure you swallow and whatever you do. Like all the stuff that I learned, I was like, make sure he's have always a matter about me. Like, oh, it'll happen. It'll happen. But the reason why it's so important for you to figure it out is because then you know your body and you know, you can explain to him. Yeah. Well, I need to move this way or that way. Yeah. And it's like, they're happy that you know. Exactly. You know yourself a little bit more. You know, your body a lot more and it builds confidence and it's very important to be confident in bed. Exactly. Exactly. So what else have you learned so far?

I'm like looking at your blogs and you guys got to check out sex with LME.com. The second blog she posted November 20th was Shower Sex With Myself. So we just talked about that one and then the first one, my journey to orgasm. Yeah. Another thing that I did learn is that I, like, there's various, various amounts of porn, right? That you can use as stimulation. Also, it's very educational, porno. Right.

I learned that I am stimulated by lesbian porn. But I found out that a lot of straight women are stimulated by less being porn as well So I say find what kind of porn stimulates you and gets you go and it gets you wet on your own because a lot of women have a problem Not getting wet, you know, literally themselves So exactly that's so true porn. Where do you go? What porn channel? Do you watch? I do you porn? Now that's so true and it's funny because I'd say to podcast, this is going to come out, it's right I've already come out by time it's coming up, but with Dr. Drew's wife Susan Pinsky and she was saying the same thing that that sometimes just turn yourself on.

A lot of women, they're not in the mood for sex, they're not in the mood for, and you know, they're low libido and they they want to, they want to, you want to turn yourself on, they want to know what is wrong, and you can just watch some porn, or have an active emaci, and imagination, and try to get yourself there. So porn is great, women think porn's for men, you know, it's for women too, you find one,

and there are so much porn out there that you can obviously find something that turned you on. Porn for couples. Exactly, porn for couples, porn for everyone, there's porn for everyone. So. Horn for couples. Horn for everyone. There's horn for everyone. So, you're trying your clitoris and your g-spot, you put in your fingers inside.

Yeah. Well, no, I haven't actually experience with my fingers yet, so that's, I guess, the next turn. Yeah, but it's good actually. Clitoral orgasms usually, I don't want to say, there's no usually, there's no average, but it is true that once women as a cultural orgasm, it's easier to achieve like a G-spot orgasm when she's turned on that way.

So did your family know you're working with me? Yeah, my cousins, my close cousins, a few of my brothers, a mom and dad are very happy. You're a employer, you're a real employer. Okay, oh my god, I love this picture you posted. Oh, all the crazy, I'm looking at the picture on the blog. I really did send you home with a lot.

The crazy girl products. Yeah. Yeah, I do. It smells amazing, especially when it's like, I don't know, you just woke up the next day. You have random company come over. You need to be ready really quickly. Yeah, crazy girl products are amazing.

Everyone to check them out, you go to what is it? It is go to a website. Click on the crazy gold banner and you get special discount if you use the coupon code that's there. I love the thing that comes. Oh my god. They're they're shaving cream is unbelievable. Like no stubble and like the pheromone spray. Yeah. And I gave you all. It smells like vanilla. Yeah, it's really. Everybody loves vanilla. Exactly. And it's really recently priced too. So if you guys are looking for gifts for the holiday season, Crazy Girl makes just like the most amazing products that are fair-moan and fused and they make you feel sexy

and they've got products for men too on their max for men's sites, so you can check that out as well. OK, I'm going to roll out so what else? So how are you liking the internships so far? I love the internships. I'm so glad they won. So great. Yeah.

The bags of toys out could out could be bad. I always have it. My interns are like interns and dentors. I'm so glad they won. They're so great. Yeah. The bags of toys. How could it be bad? I always think my insurance is that indentured. I mean, Bill, they have fun. She's learning to have an orgasm. Yes, good. Hi, guys. I don't want to reign on the party.

Uh-huh. But, um, what you guys were talking, yeah, you got to go, Monroe. I know that. Oh. Okay. You were talking right before we began this program that took to have an orgasm. You got to get out of your head. Right. It seems like Monroe is more in her head than any other woman in America right now,

he's trying to have an orgasm. That's true. No, no, no, I don't feel like. But she's studying it like it's a science. It is. She's studying it, but in the moment of trying to have your orgasm, you got to get out of your head. Which is the whole point now of pleasing yourself. You should know. You should like, you know, know where you feel comfortable and know what you like. Right. Otherwise, if you do that and you're trying to have orgasm via penetration with the partner, it's going to be a whole lot harder. If you don't have that confidence, if you don't know what, like, how your body works. Right. But what we're saying is like during, like, if this is the problem that a lot of women had is they're thinking, how do I look? Yeah. Is he having an orgasm?

Is it going to happen? Is it going to happen? Is it going to happen? And we almost like trick ourselves because we're so in our head, is it going to happen? Is it going to happen? Is it going to happen? And we almost like trick ourselves because we're so in our head, is it going to happen? So do you ever meditate or anything or do any like kind of, I wonder if you could just like focus on your breath or focus on the sensations like when you find yourself thinking is it's going to happen? It's going to happen. You can go back to, oh, I wonder how this butterfly kiss vibrator feels on my clitoris.

You can like think about the feeling, the sensation. So when you're in your head, go back to the sensation in your body, what it feels like. Like try to like, because we all do that. Hey, what time's your train leave? I'm sorry, I see you watching the clock, and I'm worried for you. You gotta go, you gotta go.

Five minutes, your train leaves? Okay, you better go then. You're the best, Monroe. Thank you so much. It's been so fun. We're gonna have you come back and give reports. Of course, I would love to. I know, and then we're gonna have someone jump out of a cake

for you when you have your orgasm I can't think anything better right now, but I don't know I'm gonna pie a pie. Yeah, I love pie. Okay. Whatever you want honey. Okay. Thank you. Have a great night So yeah, that's a journey to oh check out her blog and sexual army dot com It's a election like a guy wearing a like an oh a Superman costume jump out of a pie Wouldn't that make more sense? That would make more sense. Thank you. It's late. I wasn't coming up with anything, but someone jumped a guy to a cake.

But that's a good one. I like it, Anderson. I'm worried that she's going to miss her train. I'm really concerned about that. Okay. Tell her if she misses her train or driver. What about the irony? If she's trying to catch her train

and she actually comes on her bike on the way there. Oh my God. That'd be amazing. That'd be pretty great. I pick her up either way. Tell her that if she missed her train, I'll pick her up. Seriously, okay. All right, we've got a little bit of sex in the news here.

So we've got average age of first intercourse by country. The youngest on the list is Iceland at an average age of 15.6. Years old. That's young. And they're hot. They're really hot. I know. I might turn off that. I know, honey. Israel is almost as eager at 16.17 filed by Brazil at 17.4 years old and the United States at 18 years old. East

Asians wait longest China at 22 and Malaysians at 23 I thought Americans would be out of this like 14 am I wrong my crazy? I don't know if I trust that That's sort of it. I don't know why not you think at the Brazil. I think the Brazilian I don't know who knows I know that I was one of the youngest In my in my grade and I lost my when I was like 13 and I was very young most of my friends were like 17 That's illegal. Who are you having sex with? Oh, yeah, I'm an older Check how old was she 22 shot up a 22-year-old rape you. Yeah, well, it wasn't rape. It's kind of rape She drove a Porsche and she was hot

But I had to break up with her because she was an alcoholic and that didn't go over well She tried to run me over she really tried to hit me in her Porsche How many times do you have sex with a report? She tried run you over? Right. 10, 11. Really? Yeah. That's a lot. She used to get like, no, what about snow? She was drunk the whole time. I always, always drunk. She, how it was awesome. They'd say that they're, her and her friend and they'd say that they're my mom and they'd come pick me up from school and take me. They like their DUI at quarter appearances. And then we go bang. It was a good time. No, just the one. She was hot. She was pretty. Yeah, she was pretty. Did you teach you anything about sex?

I didn't know what the hell was going on. You're like, oh my god. I'm sex and it was kind of cool. 13. And then what about after that? When did you have sex again? It was all kind of downhill because she was like really, really wild. And still to this day, if a girl's really wild in bed, I don't like it because it reminds me of the older 22 or a chick.

A lot of us get stuck at Trump. But not a good way. A lot of people were traumatic. Like they want to go back to it over and over again. And now if a girl, well, I'm married now, but like when a girl would become real aggressive and bad, I'd be like, ooh, and I think it's because of that chick. What was the aggressive thing that someone didn't bed that made you go, ooh, I just want to know

what that means to you. This one, we'd be in our car at a park or something, at night, and she'd be like, you know, down there and then the crotch area. And she'd be like, tell, talk to me. While she was down there, like, you're gonna finish my mouth. the crotch area. And she'd be like, tell, talk to me while she was down there, like you gotta finish my mouth, you gotta do that. Even when I was a 13 year old kid,

I was like, this is kind of freaking out. But you're in a closed car. I didn't like her telling me what to do to her. It was creepy. Okay, got it. So if a woman tells you what to do to her, you don't like that. Yeah, I guess not.

That's interesting. We can analyze this for hours. Let's not do that. Let's not do that. Let's not do that. OK, breaking up during the holidays. This is very common. I got interviewed by the New York Post today about this. They wanted to know, is it indeed true,

that more people break up over the holidays? And the best study I could find was when that was done two years ago on Facebook, and it was an infographic of breakups on Facebook throughout the year. And there's a huge peak two weeks before the holidays. Second only to spring cleaning. Let's spring break time.

The lowest day of breakups was Christmas day. So if you're going to break up, do it before the 25th. But I think you always hear this. You will break up the holidays. It's a very sensitive time of year. Maybe you're thinking, I don't want to buy them a new president or a president. I don't want to go home with a family. And you just start evaluating your life. And you think, I don't want to be him a new president or a president. I don't want to go home with the family. And you just start evaluating your life and you think, I don't want to be this person.

I'm going to break up with them. But it's kind of a bummer because people attach so much emotion to the holidays. And it's plus I think a lot of people are going back home and then they're going to see like old flings there or people that they could have. Because they're almost like a little mini reunions at this point. Right? Yeah, that is true. Like one of the best parties in town is when you go back home for Thanksgiving. The night before Thanksgiving goes off.

Yeah, no, I do that. I'm going to Michigan next. I'm going to Michigan. You're going to get some old strange. Well, I don't think so because everyone's like married now, but everyone's divorced now. Actually, they were married now. They're divorced. There's no one for me, Michigan. I don't think. I'm sorry. That's okay. So I won't get laid. It's fine. So why do people break up though? They don't want to include you in their plans. It. So I won't get laid. It's fine.

So why do people break up though? They don't want to include you in their plans. It's always a sign of breaking up. This is how you can know. They're not including you in their plans. But that any time of year, if they don't include you, they'll stop inviting you out. You would know.

If your partner starts distancing himself, either emotionally, either physically or emotionally, this is another warning sign. Finally, if you're no longer connecting intimately, this can be sexually or just touching. This is another strong sign that the relationship is heading south. So, if you're just satisfied with your life and relationship, it's going to feel that much worse during the most happiest time of year, it might make it painfully obvious that you need to break up.

So, I think that I don't like all, like I always hear from people all the time, like, yeah, I want to break up with my girlfriend, but we got a trip plan to Hawaii, or we got a trip, whatever, we got a wedding coming up. It's the time again. I want to break up my girlfriend But we got a trip plan to Hawaii or we've got a trip whatever we got a wedding coming up It's like no you got to break up with your partner when it's break up with your partner It's a ribbon abandoned off you're doing them a favor if you know and you're with someone right now And you know you want to break up with them just do it Because you're doing them a favor Because they're no longer in a relationship with someone that doesn't want to be with them think about it that way

It's selfish to not break up with someone just because you went to President of the trip to Hawaii, I think, personally. Although I have dumb people, I did break up with a guy in New Year's Eve once just because I met another guy that I liked. Right before midnight. It was the morning of, you had a whole day to get a new date. Well, because I thought maybe you saw the new person, you want to make sure you sidle up next to him.

No, no, no, this was bad. This was a long, long time ago. This was a long time ago. It was coming to an end, and I should have done it earlier. I used to be really, but I used to spend half my relationships trying to get out of them. But I heard that, but that's funny. I don't do any more.

As soon as you'd be in a relationship, you'd just start to get out. I got to get out. Flotting how to get out. How the hell did I get in this and how the hell do I get out of it? But I think there's a lot of people out there too that they're not sure. They feel like it's over, but they're not sure that they want to give up because the lifestyle of being with that person and they're sentimental and they have a hard time being sure that it's the right thing to do to say go out of that person.

And I like, and I like it, and I didn't like them. I'm like, it was a good guy. Just, you know, sex wasn't great. That's why I started this. Should have told him. I didn't know yet. I mean, wait, he's the inspiration. One of them. That poor bass. No, it was really bad sex for like two years. Does he have any idea that he inspired this phenomenon? No, I hope he doesn't listen.

This empire. It was just one, it was, it was one of a series of bad sex experiences where I thought sex has got to be better than this and nothing I didn't have good sex, but a lot of you weren't having good sex or good relationship. And so that's why I started the show because I figured I wanted to get to the bottom of it and help the world and help you. What was the, how was the sex bad? a lot of you weren't having good sex or good relationship. And so that's why I started the show because I figured I wanted to get to the bottom of it and help the world and help. What was the, how was the sex bad?

I always, I always wonder about that. Because I mean, in particular, I feel so bad. It's just a violation talking about it, but no one knows who he is. He was a premature ejaculator. Okay, that's bad. And and the problem is like a minute and the minute man. How long for refractory? There like wasn't even a refractory period.

Like he couldn't even, and we, and we, and we refracted, when it came back, it would be another minute again. Like he, there was no, and he had a really small penis. It was like a two-fer. So I couldn't figure out if it was that he just bought penis and he was so insecure, I didn't know what it was. See, I think ladies have this problem, but me as a guy, I've never really thought bad sex. I've thought, you know, I'd like her to do different things.

I wish she was more open to this and that, but as long as I'm attracted to her and I'd like her, you can't have bad sex as a guy. No, right. So Woody Allen's had like pizza. Like, there's just things like a bad pizza. Like, you can't have like a bad order. Oh, for a guy like Woody Allen. And kind of a giant is pizza.

Exactly. No, it's true. Guys probably don't have as much bad sex. They have little things like, oh, I wish you'd initiate it. I wish it. Yeah. But for women, for me, but here's a thing, it wasn't somebody who was really amazing at oral sex. And, and, and it wasn't that as penis was small. So all you guys are going, my penis is too small. That was like an app. That was like the second thing. It was more of the pre-mortar ejaculation. And then we had all these books on it. There's this book called, what's it called,

the multi-organic man, and we had all these things we were gonna do, but he was never sticking with the program to work on it, but he could also, a promescent was around, he could have just used some promescent, which is one of my sponsors, and I love them because I've actually used promescent,

it's a spray, desensitizing spray, that you put, I haven't used it on my penis because I don't have one, but it actually helps men with premature ejaculation. It's desensitizing. It's the only FDA-proved treatment. And the thing about promising is that, just go to my website and click on the banner. The thing about it is that it's not even if you only last a minute, even if you last five minutes, but your girlfriend takes 15 minutes to have an orgasm,

you might want to last a little longer. So it doesn't, it's amazing. I'm just science miracle because I've used it actually and it. It works. I feel like this should have been around a long time. I wish it wasn't. I wish it wasn't. I bet you the show might not exist. I know I'd be married to this guy.

You'd be okay with that guy. He's not gonna get married. Can we go back real quick to that 22 year old so-called rapist? It wasn't just. Oh, sorry. I was kidding. She's not a rapist. It wasn't just that she like her telling me what to do.

I know. There was another thing. There were like, I just remember when we were at Motel 6 one time. Oh, not lovely. Classy. Yeah. I got it.

But she's telling me. She's all right. This just got uncomfortable because Reggie, the security guard came in here and he's very uptight. Oh, OK. He doesn't like to hear about sex. But she was saying Reggie's fleeing. See, Reg. Sorry, buddy. She was saying, look hear about sex, but she was saying Reggie's fleeing. See, Reg, sorry buddy.

She was saying, look at how wet you're making me. Look at how wet it is. It's just a freak man. Oh, but the way she was saying it. You're making me so wet right now. And I remember looking, I'm like, it is kind of wet. It's kind of creepy. You probably doesn't understand it.

And it didn't sound like she was saying it in a hot sexy way. What? And you're 13. Yeah. It's okay, dude. I think you're fine. I just freaked out our security guard by the way. He fled.

Why? He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that.

He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that.

He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. He doesn't want to hear about that. You never know what we're gonna talk about, right? It gets crazy. Okay, so I'm going to read some emails from the people. Let's do it. Okay, so thanks everyone for emailing me at feedback at sexwithm.ly.com. Okay, dear Emily, I've been with my wife for eight years now. We have what I would say, normal sex life.

I like to masturbate and she does not mind when I do, but she does not masturbate at all. I've asked her about it and she says if she needs sex, she would just get it from me. She said, toys in the past, but never use them herself. She would only let me use that on her. She says it's weird. Is it normal for a woman not to masturbate? Also, how do I get her to initiate sex? In the eight years we've been together she's initiated two times and I had to tell her to do it and then it happened the next morning. I would just like it more. Once again, we have talked about it, but she doesn't go for it. Please help. Thanks Brian. Okay, Brian, there's two issues here. If she hasn't masturbated, I don't like to say that things are normal and not normal. Sure, some people

masturbate, some people don't. I find it like I think that everyone should masturbate, especially women, like we just talked about earlier in the show with Monroe, my intern because that's how women learn to have orgasms. They learn what part of their bodies feel good and then they learn how to communicate that with their partner. So I would say that, you know, yeah, she probably should masturbate, but it's not horrible that she doesn't,

but I'm concerned like that she grew up with a really religious background, because a lot of people who have a lot of hang-up strong masturbation, they think it's wrong, they're gonna go to hell they're gonna grow beard if they're woman whatever they all those stories they hear so maybe she's got some hang-ups around sex also I don't know why she thinks it's weird to masturbate so that's my thing about religion that that could be it but also how do you get her initiate sex it sounds like you tell her and she does the next day it's like you never want to tell someone to have to do it right away. And then you're like, I just told you,

and you don't want to have to tell them. But I would try to find out. I would try to have a conversation with her without telling her what to do. Find out what really turns her on. Like it sounds like there might be something that you could be doing and having conversations that are healthy around fantasy,

you know, ask her the, what, ask her the most favorite time that you guys have sex together. What's the her number one memory of the time you guys are sub together? And you could find out where her heads at. Well, I love the time that we were laying down in a bed of roses, petals, rose petals on the bed. And you get me, maybe she's a romantic. I don't know what it is, but I think you guys have to open up the dialogue, Ron sex rather than you saying just initiate it. It sounds like she has something else going on sexually that's not allowing her to even be present for you sexually. She might need some therapy.

She might need to go talk to a therapist about it. Maybe you guys can go together or just try to talk to about it in a very loving, supportive way, not an angry way, not I wish you initiated sex, not I wish you masturbated, baby, I want to talk about our sex life. I think we could expand it, not improve it, don't use the word improve or it could get better. I'd like to expand it. And that way you know, maybe you could watch porn together. I don't know

if she'd be into that, get some more toys that make her feel good. Just do some, start a dialogue around it. And it doesn't necessarily happen in the bedroom. It might happen when you're on a lot of road trip. It could happen at breakfast, not the best time to talk about sex in bed. And it could be happening. What could be happening? She could just be masturbating and not want into it.

But why do you think? I mean, she's ashamed. But she says, weird. You think she's, well, right? It's probably weird talking about it. But that's weird. She needs set up to camera. OK, that to me is weird.

I think that couples need to talk about their sex life Absolutely, but a lot of people are really embarrassed about it I know that a lot of people are and so that's why I don't like to talk about my sex life with my other my significant others You don't I have no problem talking about it. I know a microphone ironically, but what are with your wife? You're never like I don't like it. No, don't like to Don't know it's not gonna the rain is kidding But really you guys are never like babe last night because the rapist. No, it's not because of the rapist.

I'm kidding. But really, you guys are never like, babe last night. No, we don't do that. No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, embarrassing. Like, we don't want to talk about it. Have you always been this way? Yeah, with, yeah, with everyone I've been with, I don't really like to talk about the sex. No, but it could be because I've worked on the love line for 15 years, too.

That could be it, too. Oh, if you haven't heard love line, download the podcast. I'm, it's a radio show, too. Listen to it in lots of different cities. Yeah, totally. Okay, so, and listen to that, and then we've got a, before I get into anal sex, which is Okay, so, and listen to that, and then we've got a, before I get into anal sex, which is our next question,

I'm just gonna tell you about Emily and Tony. If you haven't heard yet, I have a new brand, it's new-ish now, two months old, called Emily and Tony, and I give you free podcasts every week, I give you two. And I also created an amazing brand of products. I have these massage oil candles.

You might wonder what those are. It's actually candles that turn into luxurious massage oil. So another great thing to do with your partner is they just look like regular candles. They don't like it like says massage on it. They're actually beautiful smelling candles. We have vanilla, we have fougir, which is like a manly or scent.

We have cocoa. And then you light it and it's warm, and you pour it on your partner and it turns to massage oil and you can give a massage. And I also use it as body oil in the morning. It's amazing and smells delicious. I didn't even know what it was when you handed it to me but when you explained it to me, it's like why haven't these things existed for a pepper? Exactly, right? They're amazing. They feel like they should have come out of the 70s and stayed, you know what I mean? Right, but I invented them. No, I didn't invent them. Other people did, but they didn't do a good job. So I did a great job with them. No, you have to love it.

So anyway, go to emilyentony.com, use coupon code emily and you get 20% off your first purchase. I also have the down under comfort, which is a lotion for men, cream to a powder to put on their balls so they're fresh and dry all day long. So check that out. Okay, anal sex.

Let's get to the anal sex email. What, my boyfriend, whom I love dearly unconditionally, has expressed his Okay, anal sex. Let's get to the anal sex email. I'll watch it. My boyfriend, whom I love dearly and unconditionally, has expressed his interest in anal sex account with some amount of times. And part of me has always felt guilty for being so resistant. I want him to enjoy himself yet I can't seem to escape my own anxiety.

Of course, a big fear is having to a not-so-clean experience and being completely mortified. Also, I'm really a big baby and don't handle pain well. I had a bad experience with it once, so in the past part, I'm trying to be sneaky and surprise one of the worst pains in my life. But I think my biggest worry is that once it happens then my boyfriend will want anal every time.

Again, I've never really experienced this before so I don't know what to expect, but I'm afraid of how it may affect our relationship in terms of intimacy. Thank you, Kelly. Kelly, this is a great question because you cover a lot of the ground here, a lot of the concerns that a lot of women have about having anal sex

because a lot of guys just pressure women into this and it's just, it can be scary, it can be confusing and I'm really sorry that you had a bad first experience because that could turn people off for life. The most important thing is that you move very, very slowly and that you use lots of lube and that he starts with just a finger. If you're interested, his pinky, he can put his pinky inside you with some lube and just like even on the top, he can start actually rubbing the rim.

And then eventually maybe the next week he can move on to a finger or two and should be a very very slow slow Process and during this process is see how it feels you might like how it feels you might hate how it feels But the reason why it can be so painful for women is Because they tense up and so another important thing besides loop is to relax is to breathe and to To not tense up your muscles, which is what we're likely to do more afraid or nervous or anxious, and that's actually when it hurts. So when you relax more is when it's going to feel better. So I think that you know, you might not get to try it again with someone that you trust

if he's a good man, you know, don't get wasted, don't do whatever, try to be in a good state of mind, but just make sure that he goes goes very slowly and if you're worried about your bowels Just make sure that they're empty before going there. Don't eat a big meal Because having a messy spirit experience is possible and hopefully your boyfriend would be okay with that But only try it again if you feel comfortable with him and you can tell him that your fears that he's gonna want it all the time and He probably just wants to do it to bed because you haven't done it yet. And when you do it, I don't think he's gonna expect

to be a regular thing. It's kind of a pain in the ass, no pun intended. Sometimes he would all the time, I mean, some people are like, I don't know, I just think that he doesn't, I just haven't even tried to be funny. But I can understand your concerns. I would talk to him first, tell him what I said, have him listen to the show,

and then if you're interested in try it, but you know what, Kelly, if you're still afraid and you don't want to do it, then don't do anything sexually that you do not want to do. Right on, sister. How's that? Hey, you know,

Chloris Leachman. Yeah. Well, I've heard a lot of anal advice over the years, right? In my position. And we've had like anal experts on and stuff even in giving their routines. Of course. But I got to say one of the most insightful things I've ever heard from

anyone is Cloris Leachman was talking about anal sex one night and she was. She said that you should be put like the woman should push out while accepting. Oh, which kind of makes a little sense. It does make sense, but then you'd still be tensing a little. I think if you I don't know, she said as you're accepting kind of trying push outward. Huh, yeah, that's from inward. It makes sense.

It does make sense, but then I feel like you're clenching and if you're pushing out, then you're tensing still. All right, I just like the idea of chloro- I don't know, try, I love that chloro-sleechment gave anal sex advice. I love line. Yeah. I love it.

Okay, that's what we got time for today. But I want to say that I love it. Okay, that's what we got time for today, but I want to say that I love all my listeners and please go to my website, sexfamily.com, check out Monroe's blogs, check out my mailing list and put your email on it because I'm going to send you some information that you're gonna need and maybe some sex toys and things like that and special offers, but I won't do it a lot. I'm not like a, I'm not gonna email you every day, I promise. And follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, sex with Emily. And I love you all. Have a great day. Have a great night. Wherever you are. Wherever you're

doing. Thanks everyone. And thanks Anderson. Your podcast after disaster. Everyone check it out. It's about movies and stuff. Okay, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. I'm Emily from sexwithemily.com. Crazygirlproducts.com carries unique fairbony and fused products that make you feel sexy and confident. I'm crazy about their wannabe naked shave cream.

It's made perfectly for your more intimate areas. No shave bumps or ingrown hairs. Use coupon code Emily25 for 25% off at crazygirlproducts.com. You use Cubant Code MLA25 for 25% off at CrazyGirlProducts.com